The Skyrim Speedrun to murder all the Jarls 

Just imagine being in the throne room, some homless looking guy with no real aromour runs arround and mumbling epeatadly _"where is the Jarl? Where is the Jarl?_ just before the Jarl gets assasinated.

Imperials: *Accidentally arrests Dragonborn* Dragonborn: *Kills all the regional leaders in 20 minutes*

Doug: Kills the Jarl. Guards when they arrest him: "By order of the Jarl"

A stranger approaches the Jarl with flaming hands Irileth: Ok you can pass through

Gotta love Skyrim's justice system. Illegally crossing the border: Death. Murder one of the Jarls: A few days in jail.

Most assassination plots: *involve complex plans with dozens of factors* Doug: *just walks in and deep fries everyone*

One man achieved what the Thalmor and Empire couldn't with nothing but a physics-defying horse, a loincloth, and a dream. And he did it before lunch. Truly inspiring.

I rewatch these at least once a month and the "shhhh" part alway gets me

“We robbed an old lady using tomatoes” is probably the best thing I’ve heard in a while.

The npcs in this speed run probably heard the craziest news in their city. Crazed magic flame man quickly murdering jarls and then (for whatever reason) surrendering to go to jail to sleep

just imagine how this would change the lore. "did you ever hear the tale of when ulfrich stormcloak shouted the king of skyrim to death and then dragons appeared and so did the dragonborn, who went from town to town burning all the jarls?"

"It takes about 400 gold, to kill all the leaders in Skyrim." I mean Ulfric kinda proved that Skyrim is really chill with the whole, "murdering our leaders" thing :v

It’s been years since the “Games with food” series was big on this channel, yet we’ve just now gotten the Carrots as the main antagonist to the peppers in the Lore

This seems like a legit speedrun category if you could get enough people to commit to it. Throughout that whole process I was thinking of ways to cut down time (paying bounty instead of jail time to save on load screens, timing the Markarth kill so you don't have to wait 6 hours for them to turn up which costs 15-20 seconds). I'd 100% be down with this

"Is there any way I could get out of Solitude faster?" Young Doug had not yet realized the true power of horse tilt.

I forgot that 'Jarl' meant what it does and assumed it was a race at first and thought this man was gonna speedrun a genocide in under 15 min

“Welcome to Doug Doug where we solve common everyday problems” I sense…a disturbance.

so nice to see Doug discovering the joys of speed running. at first you have a strat and you try to improve and then with a random thing in the game you improve by over 10 min

"By the order of the Jarl, stop right there!" *what jarl*

"please inform the Jarl of your town that there is a crazy guy going around killing all the jarls, he already killed 5 jarls, thought you might want to keep an eye for that, good luck"

I love how the guards will just let a completely random nobody walk up to the most powerful people in Skyrim, either because they don't tell them their reason or say they've got some questions. Skyrim guards are about as effective as trying to play chess with checkers pieces.

You lead a city of panicking citizens, news of a dragon attack in Helgen sending enough fear through the city that eventually the citizens would do the work of a dozen dragons. You yearn to leave your castle to calm your citizens, but a message from Whiterun has kept you careful. Apparently some prisoner from Helgen had some time ago slain the jarl. Two more messengers confirm that he slayed jarls from a few less populated cities. The door to the hall slammed open, as if hit by a battering ram. The whole court looked to see a man covered in water and snow, all excluding his hands at least. In his hands two dancing balls of fire sent gusts of steam around their radius. "Faster, gotta go faster." The man sprinted at an almost unrivaled pace towards you, two streams of flame already lancing through your armor and skin. All the while, the murderer spike to unknown figures. What demons drove him? What beasts of darkness could hope to contain him? When the man finished the deed, he sprinted from the chamber, never to be seen again. Your death and the deaths of all the Jarls left the world in turmoil, just in time for the arrival of Aldiun. In the end, Skyrim fell to madness and monsters, eldritch beings fighting dragons and vampires. Nothing remained in the end. All this for a speedrun. The world destroyed in half an hour.

Okay, consider: Skyrim, but every enemy knows where you are at all times and is coming to kill you I don't know if it's possible, but damn it sounds amazing

I love the implication that despite Ulfric already having done this exact thing, none of the nine holds thought to increase security around their Jarls I also love how Ulfric's guards are okay with HIM doing it, but not YOU

Theres still 9 more jarls to kill. Every jarl has a replacement because of the civil war questline. So you have to kill 18 jarls

8:00 ”you could murder every jarl before the world record holder beats the entire game” has me thinking of a possible plot line where while the dragonborn is off to defeat Alduin, some random person uses that opportunity to kill the jarls

5:22 when he almost blasts that kid had me cracking up lmfao

I was seriously shocked to see Doug didn't know where the Jarl of Markarth's bedroom is. Only now realising that it might not have been normal for me to have memorised the layout of each Skyrim hold.

"hey, this is DougDoug where we solve common, everyday problems." hey thats not right

> escapes execution > murders the leaders of an entire nation > refuses to elaborate > leaves What a chad

5:56 the Jarl calls him a fool for trying to burn everything down, he's heard of the mad mage burning Jarls. These were his final words, to condemn Doug for his crimes.

"By order of the Jarl, you're under arrest" The lie detector has determined that was a lie

Wow I did not expect this to be an actual speedrun

The arrest dialogue failing / canceling itself might be related to the game taking a few seconds to add the murder to the bounty, as after waiting for the 1000 coins added message it didn't do it again.

Skyrim players: "Skyrim is a serious game with good lore" *Also skyrim players:* 3:16

Breaking news: Prisoner sentenced to death that escaped has now assassinated every Jarl in Skyrim in less than 30 minutes

Doug: *murders the Queen of Skyrim* Also Doug: *What why are the guards mad at me???*

I know that this would absolutely break the lore and make Alduin impossible to defeat, but I wish there was an option to solve the civil war by killing literally every leader that keeps it in motion. Peace through excess violence, Wild Card style.

I like how Ulfric is the only Jarl who can give the player a relatively good fight A true son of Skyrim😂❤

Doug's out here singlehandedly plunging Skyrim into even MORE chaos than it was already in 😂😂

The bounty for assassinating the Jarl being just 40 gold is hilarious.

"We solve common, every day problems." A novelty. "We're going to murder people!" *Wait*

12:30 As chat was saying on stream, after killing a Jarl you have to wait until the 1000 bounty is added before you sheath your flames.

Jarl: fkn dies Gaurd: IN LOVING MEMORY OF THE JARL STOP RIGHT THERE!

You have to wait for the “1000 bounty added” notification to appear before getting arrested, otherwise they think you literally murdered mid dialogue

So a prisoner that has just been captured by the imperials can (at level 1) with the worst destruction spell, fight and kill all of the Jarls (with their high-level guards) and get away by serving a short amount of time or paying their 40 gold bounty. Skyrim law sure is lax, it's no wonder criminals run rampant...

3:04 That little draw back he does with his head when she tells him to be quiet😂😂 like that’s not supposed to happen

I know this will sound strange but I find that whenever I feeling anxious Doug helps me distract myself from the storm outside (I have storm anxiety) so thank you Doug for making such hilarious content ❤️

"By order of the Jarl, stop right there" "You mean the one I just incinerated?" "Y-yeah..." "OK, take me to jail"

I like how quickly this proves that the best spell in Skyrim is the first one you can get.

One cool trivia about leaving Ulfric to the end is that he is the most powerful jarl in all Skyrim. Literally can face the other jarls at the same time and kill all of them.

12:28 the reason they weren't cool with the murder before that extra second wait was because attacking and killing the Jarl are two different bounties, which apply at different times. The 1000gp killing bounty applies a second or two after you kill them, so when the guards are trying to arrest you initially it's for the 40gp attacking bounty. But mid-sentence the 1000gp bounty gets applied and they turn hostile again.

All I've learned from this is that the flame spell is oddly effective for a spell you get at the beginning of the game.

Manufacturer: Hey DougDoug we fucked up, they came out pink. Going to cost you a little more to fix it DougDoug: *looks at Bethesda play book* it’s not a bug, it’s a feature 😈

when he says "and now, the final jarl" but there's still half of the video left, you know it's going to be chaos

over the course of 20 minutes, every jarl across skyrim has been murdered in cold blood by a man with nothing but hot hands, the clothes on his back, pocket change, and a vendetta

* proudly * "I beat the world record for Skyrim!" "Wow! Which category?" "Category?"

Literally got 300 hours in Skyrim and didn’t even realise winterhold had a jarl

This has got to be the most entertaining Skyrim video I've ever seen! I love this!

0:21 thank you, DougDoug, for fueling my nightmares.

Just imagine sombody asking their mom if they can get a pepper with eyes that a RU-vidr just asked them politely to buy it

Now THIS is the way Skyrim is meant to be played

Wow. Witnessing the beginnings of an addiction. Who knew what the road of skyrim speed running would lead poor doug and his horse.

I just love all of the XC2 songs you have added! They all fit so well on the moment xD

evil dougdoug be like: "hey this is douglasdouglas where we solve problems that everyone has :)" and does a normal episode of skyrim like from 2012

I never knew that Whiterun puts a 1000 gold bounty on you for killing the Jarl but Morthal only does 40. Imagine dying and finding out in the afterlife that your murderer has a bounty cheaper than the sword used to kill you.

just wanted to say thanks for always having music credits in the description!

Doug Doug ads are quick, consice, informative, and confusingly chaotic all at once and that's why I like them.

Literally saw the notification and laughed, already know it’s gonna be great

“I hope you learned a lot about murder today.” Yes, yes we did Doug

Guard: By the order of the jarl A bell pepper: *what jarl*

Hey DougDoug I’ve been watching you for a while and your a great channel keep up the content!

I really did not expect him to use actual complicated speed run tech I’m impressed

This game just doesn’t stop being so full of infinite content. Perfectly balanced game with no exploits

Guard:by order of the ja- Doug:WHAT JARL

this channel is so much fun. i'm always wanting more

Stream doug: "Nothing's happening. I can't do anything. I cant escape. I can't load. I can't do anything." Voice-over doug: "this is going great"

Imagine you’re a jarl setting up guards to stop one man from killing your bloodline lmao

This actually sounds really fun as a playthrough. Play as an altmer assassin sent to destabilize skyrim by killing its leaders.

I would love to see Doug do this again now that he’s so much better at Skyrim speed running. I bet he’d be able to shave a good few minutes off his time

I've learnt today that if I kill the queen, wait a few seconds and sheathe my weapon I'll simply go to jail. Thanks Doug

Ah yes. My favorite Skyrim speed run. Right after kill nazeem speed runs.

I love how the video where he "solves common everyday problems", he starts a skyrim speedrun category.

Hahaha this is the best thing I've seen in a long time. I don't usually actually laugh out loud sometimes but this time I did several times. I loved it! 😂✨ shhhhh

“Okay, we robbed a old woman using tomato’s!” That’s a great sentence.

When you kill the Jarl of Whiterun, his brother replaces the throne when you return to Dragonreach. Doug, you forgot to kill one Jarl

The speed run I didn't know I needed

another great video from my favorite youtuber! keep it up diablo!

“Are you the Jarl?” Proceeds to destroy him whether or not Karl he was

The scene where you ride off with Pinky Pie was so beautiful and emotional. Deserves an Oscar! Bravo

Yo, first time watching your vids, I just couldn’t look away! Fuggin amazing

Tons of fun as usual. Thanks and keep it up

DD: "Why didn't he do that the first time?" Me: He did. You dodged it. LOL

I don’t know what it is about this specific video, but the music selection is KILLER. The battlefield track especially went really really well, 10/10 keep up the good work

I suspect you might be able to kill the jarls faster if you recruit Marcurio first. As soon as any creature goes aggro, Marcurio will start setting off chain lightning spells, and his proficiency level with that spell is quite high. The spell also has a tendency to splash friendly creatures, so he'll kill guards regardless of whether or not they aggro right away.

Thanks Doug I needed this.

I love the idea of giving the plush to a friend as a gift, with no explanation at all whatsoever and seeing their reaction as the ghostly outline of the Dougdoug pepper peers into their soul as they try to sleep.

12:40 Actually, there is a small delay in when you get a bounty after commuting a crime. When you kill someone, if you submit to the guards immediately, they will forgive you for attacking the person, then you get the bounty for killing them, causing them to stop talking to you and attacking you.

dougdoug’s skyrim videos are some of my favorite videos on all of youtube.