"If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of **** you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude." -- George Carlin
“Men rarely, if ever, dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child. ” ― Robert Heinlein SO very true.
The Cosmic Entities, The Living Tribunal and the One Above All from the Marvel Multuverse, and the gods from the Chuthulu Mythos, are all pretty powerful, BUT, such powerful beings wouldnt give a crap about some hairless bipedaled apes. The reason why the FANFICTIONS of Hebrew Mythology became so popular is how it makes people think theyre SPECIAL, that theres a Sky Daddy that wuvs them.
The first form of the Bible was written in 325BC, 80 years before the Antikythera mechanism, and was called the Vaticanus Graecus, Son of the Divine Serpent, a reference to Fomalhaut, which is shaped like the all seeing eye, in Aquarius, the sign associated with John the Baptist, who was a Setian, the root word of Satan. Just as israel is the Phoenician word for Saturn, or El, Fruit of Isis and Ra. In the Second Century AD Astrologer Vettori Valentinus used the Vaticanus Graecus to construct a lunar zodiac of 13 months, this correlates to the 18.6/ 19 year Metonic Calendar, found in the earliest known ancient temples, the Bible, Antikythera mechanism, New Grange and the Bru na Boinne, the Chaldeans, Egyptians, Assyrians, Celts, Phoenicians, and inscribed into the Golden Enoch Horns of the Magi, the Eunuch Druid Priests of Cybel, or Kythera, the "Great Mother", (who also has 216 names) in Germany and France. A Druid took 19 years to train, and the Phoenix was associated with 19 flames. TLDR; the ancient metric system of time used by the builders of the Megalithic sites all over the world directly correlates to the Astrological Zodiac and allows for the surveying of the entire globe. It's worth noting our current system has 8,640 seconds in a day, just as the sun is 864,000 miles wide. Enoch also wrote 36,525 scrolls, which is 365.25 times 100, the Egyptian number of perfection, which allowed them to calculate things to the second decimal place. The Great Pyramid is a Calendar, based on the Metonic Cycle and the Zodiac, hence the association of Osiris with Orion, and Pleiades Isis, atop the back of Taurus, just as the Phoenician Princess Europa, who rode the Bull. The entire Mediterranean region was also mapped out according to key constellations, marked by these Megalithic structures, which themselves encode these numbers Other names for Isis include Semiramus, Aphrodite, Europa, Kythera, Cybele, and Cylene. The Byblos Baal, or Book of Baal is the Phoenician Almanac, a coded book of Astrological cycles used by the Priest Class of Egypt; the Phoenicians, to navigate the oceans. Phoenicians, Celts, Assyrians, Chaldeans, Egyptians and Jews all celebrated their New Year in September, the 7th month, the Sunsign of Ophiuchus, the Serpent Bearer, associated with the healing Gods, and marked by the first New Moon in the 7th month after the start of the Zodiac in Easter, when Ophiuchus is the East Star. In September the East star is Orion, aka Osiris, aka Set, Lord of the Dead. Hence the Aleph, and the Zayim, Alpha and Omega. It's also the Birthday of Jesus, and when he said he would return, at the end of the Age. It's reversed to keep the code secret, and written in metaphor so no one could know what was contained therein. It's an Enigma Code, literally. The Metonic cycle, in chronology, is a period of 19 years in which there are 235 lunations, or synodic months, after which the Moon's phases recur on the same days of the solar year, or year of the seasons. The cycle was discovered by Meton (fl. 432 bc), an Athenian astronomer. The Pyramid is also 230 metres square, or 235 Megalithic Yards. En-men-dur-ana (also Emmeduranki) of Sippar was an ancient Sumerian king, whose name appears in the Sumerian King List as the seventh pre-dynastic king of Sumer. He was said to have reigned for 43,200 years His name means "chief of the powers of Dur-an-ki", while "Dur-an-ki" in turn means "the meeting-place of heaven and earth" (literally "bond of above and below") Arc of the Covenant There are also 86,400 seconds in a 24 hr day. 24 minutes is 1440 seconds, times 100 gives us 144,000 A list of ten kings was composed in Greece c. 280 BC by the Babylonian priest Berossos, and their reign totals 432,000 years. In the Icelandic Poetic Edda it is said that there are 540 doors in Odin's heavenly hall of warriors Five hundred doors and forty there are I ween in Valhalls walls; Eight hundred fighters through each door fare Where to war the Wolf they go. The war with the Wolf was the recurrent battle of the gods and anti-gods at the end of each cosmic round. Here we have 540 x 800 = 432,000. In the Mahabharata and Puranic texts, the cosmic cycle of four world ages numbers 12,000 divine years, one year corresponding to 360 human years for a total of 12,000 x 360 = 4,320,000 human years. This is broken down into yugas as follows: Kali = 432,000 years or 1200 x 360 Dwarpa = 864,000 years or 1200 x 360 x 2 Treta = 1,296,000 years or 1200 x 360 x 3 Satya = 1,728,000 years or 1200 x 360 x 4 The number 432,000 has been found in Europe (1100 AD), India( very ancient, and 400 BC), Mesopotamia (c 300 BC)in reference to a cosmic eon. At the moment of the Spring equinox (March 21) the heavens are never quite in the same position they were the year before, since there is an annual lag of 50 seconds which in the course of 72 years amounts to 1 degree (50" x 72 = 3600" = 60' = 1 degree) and in 2160 years amounts to 30 degrees or one sign of the zodiac. For instance, today the sun stands in Aquarius at the Spring equinox, in 1976 the sun stood in Pisces and in the time of Christ it was in Aries. This slippage is known as the precession of the equinox. Copernicus in 1526 AD calculated this same figure. We note also that the lag is 50 seconds/year or 1 degree in 72 years, 30 degrees in 2160 years, 360 degrees in 25,920 years or one complete cycle of the zodiac. But 25,920 divided by 60 gives 432. The ancient Sumerian calendar had five-day weeks or 72 x 5 = 360 days per year. But 360 x 72 = 25,920. The integer 1200 represents the sum of the years in India for a cosmic cycle. Now 1200 x 201 = 241,200 1200 x 380 = 456,000 1200 x 360 = 432,000 These numbers correspond to the Sumerian tablet list of ten kings who ruled for a total of 456,00 years, a second tablet which lists only eight of these kings with a total of 241,200 years, and Berossos' list. The Book of Genesis lists ten patriarchs from Adam to Noah and the Flood totalling 1656 years. In the Jewish calendar one year is 365 days. In 23 years plus 5 leap year days we have 8400 days or 1200 seven-day weeks. If we multiply 1200 x 72 we get 86,400 or the number of Jewish seven-day weeks in 1656 (23 x 72) years. Since the Babylonian calendar year was composed of 72 five-day weeks, then in 432,000 days there are 86,400 Babylonian five-day weeks. Then in 432,000 days there are 86,400 Babylonian five-day weeks (432,000/5). Thus the Bible concurs with the other lists as well. The earth's axis wobble that causes the precession of the equinoxes is given as 25,920 years. Divided by the ancient number called "soss," 60, which was used in calculations, results in 432. The Greek Ages also bear a close correspondence to the four Yugas of the Hindus: Krita-Yuga, Treta-Yuga, Dvapara-Yuga, and Kali-Yuga. Their method of calculation is described by Ullamudeian as follows: "In each of the 12 signs there are 1800 minutes; multiply this number by 12 you have 21600; e.g. 1800 X 12=21600. Multiply this 21600 by 80 and it will give 1,728,000, which is the duration of the first age, called Krita-Yuga." If the same number be multiplied by 60, it will give 1,296,000, the years of the second age, Treta-Yuga. The same number multiplied by 40 gives 864,000, the length of the third age, Dvapara-Yuga. The same multiplied by 20 gives 432,000, the fourth age, Kali-Yuga." (It will be noted that these multipliers decrease in inverse ratio to the Pythagorean tetractys: 1, 2, 3, and 4.) The Essenes studied the Mysteries of Pythagoras. His name means Heart (Bel) of the Serpent. The cycle of the Phoenix encodes the astrological calendar by which they removed 3 days every 630 years. This was expressed in a Pythagorean Triangle of Dimensions 216 by 630 by 666. 6 x 6 x 6 is 216, there are 2160 years in an astrological age, and the Moon is 2160 miles in diameter. The solar metonic calendar using 60 6 day weeks produces 1 extra day every 216 years. There are also 216 Megalithic seconds in a day, and 216 letters in the name of God
I was forced to copy the Bible from cover to cover and the start over, throughout my childhood. This abridgement is accurate and faithful to the spirit of the original work.
I'm curious of what they did with your Bible manuscripts. Also why? Was it because you had pretty hand writing? ... were you being punished 😑. If you finish writing the Bible in it's entirely by hand, that book is being used. I can't imagine it was a well thought out punishment.
Copy this instead.. *The Whole Bible In Less Than 60 Seconds* - by Betty Bowers _God sat in the dark for trillions of years, then finally remembered he could create light! And man, but forgot to create woman. Redo! New woman and man have two sons (don't ask where the grand-kids came from)._ _After six days, the not-so "Almighty" had to take a nap. God is not a full time job (and it shows). When he woke, God discovered his creation coding had been sloppy. But if God can see into the future, he would have started with Noah instead of Adam. Alas, God never admits fault in himself. Just creates faulty men. Great excuse to smite anyone who breaks his laws!_ _So after God drowned everyone in the world and stoned everyone in Sodom, God finally got around to telling Moses what those laws were. But God had programmed man to ignore them. So God did the only sensible thing: he killed himself._ _After 48 hours, God was bored with death and fled to a universe he actually likes. 2,000 years later, still ghosting us. God's love is unconditional! But he'll _*_torture_*_ you if it's unrequited. And try to bribe you with heaven, witch will be chock-full of His tiresome creations we avoid here on Earth._ _An eternity of tedium. We will blame God. God, of course, will blame us._
God is a fictional character in a novel called Bible. Yeah, I said that in my Philosophy class in Orange County (ultra conservative Nixonland and HQ for the televangelists and mega churches). Every one in my class turned and looked at me with their mouths dropped open like I was the anti-christ. I highly recommend you seize these opportunities when they present themselves. 😉
The first form of the Bible was written in 325BC, 80 years before the Antikythera mechanism, and was called the Vaticanus Graecus, Son of the Divine Serpent, a reference to Fomalhaut, which is shaped like the all seeing eye, in Aquarius, the sign associated with John the Baptist, who was a Setian, the root word of Satan. Just as israel is the Phoenician word for Saturn, or El, Fruit of Isis and Ra. In the Second Century AD Astrologer Vettori Valentinus used the Vaticanus Graecus to construct a lunar zodiac of 13 months, this correlates to the 18.6/ 19 year Metonic Calendar, found in the earliest known ancient temples, the Bible, Antikythera mechanism, New Grange and the Bru na Boinne, the Chaldeans, Egyptians, Assyrians, Celts, Phoenicians, and inscribed into the Golden Enoch Horns of the Magi, the Eunuch Druid Priests of Cybel, or Kythera, the "Great Mother", (who also has 216 names) in Germany and France. A Druid took 19 years to train, and the Phoenix was associated with 19 flames. TLDR; the ancient metric system of time used by the builders of the Megalithic sites all over the world directly correlates to the Astrological Zodiac and allows for the surveying of the entire globe. It's worth noting our current system has 8,640 seconds in a day, just as the sun is 864,000 miles wide. Enoch also wrote 36,525 scrolls, which is 365.25 times 100, the Egyptian number of perfection, which allowed them to calculate things to the second decimal place. The Great Pyramid is a Calendar, based on the Metonic Cycle and the Zodiac, hence the association of Osiris with Orion, and Pleiades Isis, atop the back of Taurus, just as the Phoenician Princess Europa, who rode the Bull. The entire Mediterranean region was also mapped out according to key constellations, marked by these Megalithic structures, which themselves encode these numbers Other names for Isis include Semiramus, Aphrodite, Europa, Kythera, Cybele, and Cylene. The Byblos Baal, or Book of Baal is the Phoenician Almanac, a coded book of Astrological cycles used by the Priest Class of Egypt; the Phoenicians, to navigate the oceans. Phoenicians, Celts, Assyrians, Chaldeans, Egyptians and Jews all celebrated their New Year in September, the 7th month, the Sunsign of Ophiuchus, the Serpent Bearer, associated with the healing Gods, and marked by the first New Moon in the 7th month after the start of the Zodiac in Easter, when Ophiuchus is the East Star. In September the East star is Orion, aka Osiris, aka Set, Lord of the Dead. Hence the Aleph, and the Zayim, Alpha and Omega. It's also the Birthday of Jesus, and when he said he would return, at the end of the Age. It's reversed to keep the code secret, and written in metaphor so no one could know what was contained therein. It's an Enigma Code, literally. The Metonic cycle, in chronology, is a period of 19 years in which there are 235 lunations, or synodic months, after which the Moon's phases recur on the same days of the solar year, or year of the seasons. The cycle was discovered by Meton (fl. 432 bc), an Athenian astronomer. The Pyramid is also 230 metres square, or 235 Megalithic Yards. En-men-dur-ana (also Emmeduranki) of Sippar was an ancient Sumerian king, whose name appears in the Sumerian King List as the seventh pre-dynastic king of Sumer. He was said to have reigned for 43,200 years His name means "chief of the powers of Dur-an-ki", while "Dur-an-ki" in turn means "the meeting-place of heaven and earth" (literally "bond of above and below") Arc of the Covenant There are also 86,400 seconds in a 24 hr day. 24 minutes is 1440 seconds, times 100 gives us 144,000 A list of ten kings was composed in Greece c. 280 BC by the Babylonian priest Berossos, and their reign totals 432,000 years. In the Icelandic Poetic Edda it is said that there are 540 doors in Odin's heavenly hall of warriors Five hundred doors and forty there are I ween in Valhalls walls; Eight hundred fighters through each door fare Where to war the Wolf they go. The war with the Wolf was the recurrent battle of the gods and anti-gods at the end of each cosmic round. Here we have 540 x 800 = 432,000. In the Mahabharata and Puranic texts, the cosmic cycle of four world ages numbers 12,000 divine years, one year corresponding to 360 human years for a total of 12,000 x 360 = 4,320,000 human years. This is broken down into yugas as follows: Kali = 432,000 years or 1200 x 360 Dwarpa = 864,000 years or 1200 x 360 x 2 Treta = 1,296,000 years or 1200 x 360 x 3 Satya = 1,728,000 years or 1200 x 360 x 4 The number 432,000 has been found in Europe (1100 AD), India( very ancient, and 400 BC), Mesopotamia (c 300 BC)in reference to a cosmic eon. At the moment of the Spring equinox (March 21) the heavens are never quite in the same position they were the year before, since there is an annual lag of 50 seconds which in the course of 72 years amounts to 1 degree (50" x 72 = 3600" = 60' = 1 degree) and in 2160 years amounts to 30 degrees or one sign of the zodiac. For instance, today the sun stands in Aquarius at the Spring equinox, in 1976 the sun stood in Pisces and in the time of Christ it was in Aries. This slippage is known as the precession of the equinox. Copernicus in 1526 AD calculated this same figure. We note also that the lag is 50 seconds/year or 1 degree in 72 years, 30 degrees in 2160 years, 360 degrees in 25,920 years or one complete cycle of the zodiac. But 25,920 divided by 60 gives 432. The ancient Sumerian calendar had five-day weeks or 72 x 5 = 360 days per year. But 360 x 72 = 25,920. The integer 1200 represents the sum of the years in India for a cosmic cycle. Now 1200 x 201 = 241,200 1200 x 380 = 456,000 1200 x 360 = 432,000 These numbers correspond to the Sumerian tablet list of ten kings who ruled for a total of 456,00 years, a second tablet which lists only eight of these kings with a total of 241,200 years, and Berossos' list. The Book of Genesis lists ten patriarchs from Adam to Noah and the Flood totalling 1656 years. In the Jewish calendar one year is 365 days. In 23 years plus 5 leap year days we have 8400 days or 1200 seven-day weeks. If we multiply 1200 x 72 we get 86,400 or the number of Jewish seven-day weeks in 1656 (23 x 72) years. Since the Babylonian calendar year was composed of 72 five-day weeks, then in 432,000 days there are 86,400 Babylonian five-day weeks. Then in 432,000 days there are 86,400 Babylonian five-day weeks (432,000/5). Thus the Bible concurs with the other lists as well. The earth's axis wobble that causes the precession of the equinoxes is given as 25,920 years. Divided by the ancient number called "soss," 60, which was used in calculations, results in 432. The Greek Ages also bear a close correspondence to the four Yugas of the Hindus: Krita-Yuga, Treta-Yuga, Dvapara-Yuga, and Kali-Yuga. Their method of calculation is described by Ullamudeian as follows: "In each of the 12 signs there are 1800 minutes; multiply this number by 12 you have 21600; e.g. 1800 X 12=21600. Multiply this 21600 by 80 and it will give 1,728,000, which is the duration of the first age, called Krita-Yuga." If the same number be multiplied by 60, it will give 1,296,000, the years of the second age, Treta-Yuga. The same number multiplied by 40 gives 864,000, the length of the third age, Dvapara-Yuga. The same multiplied by 20 gives 432,000, the fourth age, Kali-Yuga." (It will be noted that these multipliers decrease in inverse ratio to the Pythagorean tetractys: 1, 2, 3, and 4.) The Essenes studied the Mysteries of Pythagoras. His name means Heart (Bel) of the Serpent. The cycle of the Phoenix encodes the astrological calendar by which they removed 3 days every 630 years. This was expressed in a Pythagorean Triangle of Dimensions 216 by 630 by 666. 6 x 6 x 6 is 216, there are 2160 years in an astrological age, and the Moon is 2160 miles in diameter. The solar metonic calendar using 60 6 day weeks produces 1 extra day every 216 years. There are also 216 Megalithic seconds in a day, and 216 letters in the name of God
@@woodystemms3799 ‘Drivel’ may not connote adequate respect to qualify as a good name but the accuracy of sentiment expressed by its oxymoronic besmirching outweighs any semantic cavilling.
As a Christian I SHOULD be offended, however, as usual, Ms Betty nails it. Presented here, the " summary " of The Bible sounds perfectly logical. BTW, I too, have wondered why GOD keeps wiping out the population of the world...then does a " do over ". It almost makes you ponder GOD's sanity (as in re-doing something and expecting different results).
Now, if Christopher Hitchens were alive to enjoy this production, I think he would laugh, then give a lengthy dissertation on how correct Mrs. Betty is.
@@alexisfrank3585 Analytical thought processes, my ass! Look, I can summarize Hitchens' body of work in one sentence. He was a self-indulgent prick who tried to cram God into a series of his oversimplified tenets of what he thinks a diety should be, say and do, but when failed to do so, he lazily threw up his hands, concluded God doesn't exist, and doing the rest of days making snarky snips at anyone with the temerity to disagree with him.
Brilliant. As Mrs Bowers says, why would any right minded person want to spend eternity in the Christian heaven, with a psychopathic overlord and a shit-tonne of christians. That would be hell to me.
That's what I always think when I hear the ultra religious spout off. That would be hell to be stuck eternally. I'm being cremated so fire won't bother me.
@@scorpogee6280 : It's like everything humans can't explain. The least confident among us can't deal with not having the answer, so they make sh*t up, usually something like _The Big Bang._ Because we cannot perceive (with our incredibly constrained point of view) what existed before that, does not even remotely imply there was nothing. Absurd. Or how (or more precisely *why)* did god create an Earth 6,000 years ago, but take the time to leave masses and masses of actual solid evidence that the Earth is 4,500,000,000 years old? I mean, if God does exist as the bible claims and has done as the bible claims, he's an extra "special" kind of a-hole.
Man makes religion, religion does not make man." "Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people." Karl MARX (1818 - 1883) Written and published in 1843 (Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of the Right )
What a breath of fresh air to hear the Bible so accurately summarized in less than a minute. This should be required viewing in K through 3rd grade. It would "save" so many children from a life of guilt, fear and shame.
@@johnthompson6374 Nope. Most of the founding fathers self-described as "deist" - atheist, for all intents and purposes. They put nothing about religion, except that it be separated from the government, in the Constitution. Some ceremonial deism, popular ways of speaking in the day, were in the Declaration of Independence. The Treaty of Tripoli, spells it out in no uncertain terms, under President Thomas Jefferson. Abortion, at the time, was just a "women's issue", and, especially as women could not be citizens nor vote, it was of no concern to the government. Women and midwives did what they wanted. Medicine, in general, has advanced close to 250 years since those documents. No one expects each procedure, its legality or not, or under what circumstances it is to be done is not in the purview of Constitutional Law.
@@rudra62 Deists were not atheists. They believe that there was a God who set the whole universe in motion and then left it alone. And you could also amend your last sentence to: "Medicine, in general, has advanced close to 2000 years since the Bible. No one expects each procedure, its legality or not, or under what circumstances it is to be done is not in the purview of the Bible."
I’m memorizing this in its entirety and saying it just as quickly to all of my religious family that dislikes me for not being religious. Thank you Mrs. Bowers.
I wish I could get my family & friends to watch this, but they would say what does it hurt to believe in Jesus if I'm right then great if I'm wrong no harm no foul.
@@Missy-Missy1111 Lots of harm and foul. Wasting all that time forcefully believing in an obviously made up fairy tale. Study science - way less harm and foul in that. Plus I would imagine, all of the Gods think all of the believers are fools.
monotheism and the nation-state, between them, and in concert, the two greatest purveyors of human misery we have ever invented. (ps: thank you Mrs Bowers!)
Man I hated having to read the bible and listen to some of my family members go on and on about it. It got to the point when I was a rebellious teenager that started questioning the religion forced onto me that I would ask some of my religious family members if they support incest, they were appalled. I then would ask them..How did Adam and Eve manage to fill the world up? How did Cain manage to father children? We know Abel was killed by him, and he was then supposedly punished and made to wonder the world and somehow he managed to have children? lets say I was probably killed in their heads a thousand times. I also asked them how did God manage to flood the world, yet the pyramids and that civilization predated the so called floods? Where was this brief video when I needed it?! Thanks for sharing!
I went to church 3 times a week for 17 years but didn’t understand it all, and now Mrs Betty Bowers explained the entire thing in 60 seconds so that it does make sense
Wow, that was a short blast about things from the past and the future. Keep it coming, it's not only well written and presented, but it is also quite remarkable in its premise !!!
Wow! I would love to be able to break into every Sunday morning televangelist program on TV and broadcast this instead. Shuler, Robertson and everybody's favorite demon Kenneth Copeland would have fits!
@JZ's BFF Some of the contradictions are actually two versions of the same events, believed by two different parts of Israel and combined into one document when it was unified.
And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they lose? Not a word. You never hear them say "Jesus made me drop the ball." "The good Lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage." According to these guys, Jesus is undefeated, meanwhile these ***s are in last place. Must be another one of those "miracles." -- George Carlin
Exactly. And it was scripted, set in stone when god polished his bishop and ejaculated the universe into being. They talk about having some purpose (as if god needed pig ignorant talking chimps (measure between creations and deity) to do anything badly. That said; what if your purpose was served at a family gathering when, as a three month old you projectile vomited. You were a necessary momentary distraction.
@JZ's BFF Everyone has an agenda, with money at the root of it. JC was alien to this world, few actually believe his words, the rest would nail him back up for being a socialist. Do what you can while you're here, and make that your reward. He will never bitch about that.
It’s hard to not giggle. I’m trying to hear everything. I’ll just have to watch it again. Aw, shucks! It’s the Bible Cliffs Notes. And it’s barely a pamphlet. A pamphlet they speaks volumes.
The 10 year old me is saying thank you for speaking up on my behalf of this arrested development minded cult i was forced to be in. There are infinity mes that are relieved by this unbrainwash video! Really well done!!!!
What I like best about all Gods is that they have the exact same amount of evidence that they existed as Puff the Magic Dragon, Tinker Bell or Leprechauns do. Men have written stories about them.
Disputing the words of God was painful in the 50's and 60's. The punishment was kneel on your hands while reading the Bible. The afterlife better be a good one, or I'm gonna be really pissed at those nuns who crushed my fingers.
@@christopherheckman7957 Humans have hope for the future as they kill and rob each other. There is a higher consciousness, that guides some, the Bible tries to offer a prize, much like offering a dog a treat, for not biting your hand off.
They weren't "leaping" nuns by any chance? If you don't get the reference here, check out a movie made in the layer 60s called "Bedazzled" with Dudley Moore. It's on RU-vid.
Thanks SO MUCH for this! You saved me from hours and hours and hours of tedium, frustration, and anger, not to mention the loss of billions of brain cells.
That "Now!" at the end sounded just like the "Now!" we always had to use in correcting our Corgi. EVERY DAY for 16 years, we had to convince her that we weren't going to relinquish control of the pack to her. So it would be something like, "Drop it . . . Drop it . . . NOW!"
Well, you have to leave out a few things to get it under 60 seconds. (It takes a lot longer to read The Bible than to read "The Bible".) Like the talking snake.
@@christopherheckman7957 One of the best comes from the Brit comedy Red Dwarf: "Archaeologists near Mount Sinai have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Bible. The page is presently being carbon dated in Bonn. If genuine it belongs at the beginning of the Bible and is believed to read "To my darling Candy."
I don't think that those hoping to spend eternity in Heaven have actually thought what eternity actually means. Spending every day on your knees telling god how wonderful he is will get very old very quickly. After 5 trillion years you'll probably be sick of it but 5 trillion years is but a blink of the eye compared with what's to come.
