The world hates fat people… let’s talk about it 

I definitely agree on not commenting on people’s physical

Yo 15 pounds makes a difference! lol

True! I lost 15 lbs and notice the difference in treatment already. People are more approachable and friendly

Yep I'm planning to lose some weight and I know right away I'll be treated differently. It's happened before. I know how it feels to be a very thin person well into my 20's and thr good treatment is unmatched. I'm doing it to be healthy but I also know to get back out dating it's super helpful. Also if you want to change careers and get a new job it's helpful to be smaller. It's crazy but this is life and I actually feel better smaller. People have to understand this is biological. The slimmer and more symmetrical we are the more attractive we are.

I appreciate your comment. Bless you!🫶🏾

@@justsassyenough2515 youre welcome,but why is that?

This sounds like you are triggered though. Most people are just stating an observation especially if you haven’t seen the person in a while. And depending on the person they may be considerate of your feelings or double down and really “joke” about it. Because if they were really a friend they’d already know your weight is a sensitive topic.

@@ValentinoQ Friend or not, people have no business commenting on people's weight. You never know what people are going through. Just because you have friends doesn't mean that you're open to them about your insecurities or self-esteem issues. We all have eyes and everybody notices other people's weight. I just don't go out of my way to comment on other people's weight, I ain't a Weight Watchers coach lol. Even if I had the perfect body, I wouldn't want people to track my weight, that's weird af.

Chill! Sometimes just say thank you and keep it pushing, jeeze

❤❤❤

As long as we are healthy that's all that matters. Like seriously my doctor is not chasing me down with weight loss shakes because I weight too much or protein shakes because I weigh too little. I can lift more and walk more and swim and cycle more than some people younger and thinner than me. Can we please look at other markers of health instead of people's dress size or weight?

true!

I was about to leave a comment about this. There are friends and women who have taken it upon themselves to remind me that I need to eat. I think women just like picking on people to make themselves feel better about their size

Please don’t. I have a smaller frame and I’m muscular, but at 163 I don’t feel I’m skinny, a lot of black women love to say that I’m skinny, all of them are obese. If I were to point that out they’d probably be heated

Wow, that was a wild turn of events. I hope you are doing well with your health journey.

@@moniquew3603 Thank you, I appreciate you saying that. I take it day by day and I wish all the best to you as well!

Phew girl!!!

💯

Nailed it!

Exactly my point in my comment. I still joked with one of my closest friends earlier today about how she needs to eat more and reduce her NSPPD late night prayers/fasting😁If something was wrong, that would have been an avenue for her to share with me rather than me look away and act unbothered at how much weight she’s lost.

That's terrible...look for a gym that is more inclusive. My local gym and swimming pool has Elderly, fat, thin, teenagers, kids, middle age, people with physical and mental disabilities and injuries. They run group sessions for all abilities! Also I'm not sure how long you have gone to the gym.....sometimes the "thinner" people have been going there longer and more regular so that's why the trainers are friendly to them because they know them more. When I go during a quiet period at my gym and ask for help, they always help me...I'm 205lbs/93 kg with a bad knee wrapped up. Please ask for help..I work with the public in a supermarket and I don't always approach new people because people often want to do things themselves to maintain their independence. When I go shopping I don't want to be approached. Lol! But I have autism my default is to avoid people...but I've had to learn to ask for help. Most decent people will help you if you are struggling and you ask for help. Maybe it's just my gym because I know that and have seen them train people of all abilities and there is no Instagram models in there posing with cameras. Lol! if anything make them do their job as it pertains to you and call the manager. Lol!

@marleyhill34 it is a community gym there ARE people of all ages races sizes and abilities there and also that work there. It is probably labelled as inclusive because of that. however it doesn't mean that people that work there anf others still don't have their prejudices. I'm not ignorant to that. How would you challenge something like this which isn't overtly offensive but you notice it. Being bigger losing and gaining weight over the years I have an eye for these things and that is even me taking myself out of it and just 'people watching'. Some may call it projecting but I don't think this is. We all know society is fatphobic in and it can manifest in subtle behaviours and this can include the 'inclusive' gym too. Personally I ignore it because it doesn't affect my workout however I'd be lying if I said I didn't notice these things.

I literally just did the same thing!😂

They could have but didn’t want to be seen with a big girl 🙄

Yes, I wish we could be honest about this. Being fat is not healthy. Why can’t we just accept this basic truth? 😢

I think the point is we are all humans and have different stages in life. Not everyone at every stage is mentally strong to imbibe discipline. I think offering grace while also educating people on healthy weight loss is good. Like you said no one feels good when you’re bloated and fat.

Yea but emphasis on healthy. And we don’t really know if someone is going through healthy weight loss unless THEY tell us. Just one of many reasons why commenting on other people’s bodies unwarranted doesn’t really contribute to healthy weight loss

I don't comment on people's weight unless forced to, but being smaller is better for health. It is absolutely true. People do treat you better, but it's also you because your energy is different when you are smaller. I went from 215, to 170 and now to 145. I'm happy at this weight . Strangers are more likely to smile and engage. It's true.

I 100% agree.

I wish that was the case. I looked back at a few photos in my early 20s and I know I was too thin. When I get really stressed I do not eat. in fact now I'm relieved to be fat ( from neurodivergent medication) because I'm currently going through a stressful period and I know my body has fat to burn so I'm not as weak as I could be. I used to feel faint and have low blood sugar when I was thinner...it was very bad..in addition to nutrient deficiencies. My body is stronger now and has more muscle and more nutrients and I don't care what anyone says I'm enjoying these fat body DD cups before it's time for me to go back to my thin body A cup. Lol!

@AnaJots for me it’s similar but in the opposite way. Getting more male attention kinda concerns me. Not all men are bad but there are some characters out there.

❤❤❤ happy you worked through it! Enjoy your life boo!

When I'm going through things I learn to isolate myself from unhelpful and unsupportive people regardless of whether them being family or friends. A lot of us gain weight due to sickness and that is not our fault for getting sick.

I’m sorry you feel that way 😢 I would encourage you to work through the internal thoughts and feelings and still take pictures for your own memories at least. Time is precious and you are deserving of documenting every part of your life ❤

I feel you, I'm in the same situation. There is nothing wrong with not sharing pictures of yourself. As long as you enjoy the moment. Stay save and best wishes

Same here. Weight loss is hard especially when you have a medical condition. Rooting for you, Hun!!!

Hugs....I gained a lot of weight due to medication to manage my neurodivergent brain. I really enjoyed my fat body because before I was the "too thin girl". All I care about now is that I'm healthy ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS and happy. If that means I don't fit everyone's ideal body weight, they can go and kick rocks. Nah I'm 42 and I'm re-claim-ing my time!!! My parents already know if they comment on my weight, I will comment back on theirs. Lol! I've decided that if people make me uncomfortable unnecessarily, I will be making them uncomfortable too so they realise their mistake!! Works with my young male managers.... Them: Why is work taking you so long? Me: Because I'm on my period and I'm being stabbed in my back, tummy, thighs, bum and vagina even though I took the maximum amount of painkillers allowed. Would you like me to overdose on painkillers? they usually leave me alone for the rest of the day. Lol! My Miserable Middle-aged Millennial brain has no chill. Play with my fat ars£ at your own peril. Just wait till we start hitting the menopause....they will see what it's like for your body to fall off.

@yosig Sorry to hear this has knocked your confidence and I relate to the weight gain, I would advise just try to be active and eat whole non processed foods and please be kind to yourself and give grace. Life is short and you deserve happiness no matter what size you are. I had a thyroid issue and through changing my diet, I have helped manage my symptoms and so far dropped 30lbs. Please read medical medium book on thyroid healing as it may help you. All the best.

Congratulations on doing better. My weight loss and weight gain are linked to my neurodivergent brain. I only found out that I was autistic this year. It explains everything. I refuse to beat myself up over my too small or too big size every again.

I don't treat myself the same either. I'm feeling and looking at my rolls and my fat boobs and fat arse and my giant thighs and saying " girl you are sex on legs.!!" Lol! Yeah I was the "too thin" girl with no boobs growing up. I'm actually a nudist as part of my whole self-acceptance journey and I can tell you everyone be looking at my fat shape in approval!! Nope I'm giving myself all the praise since I never received enough for most of my life. I'm 42 and reclaiming my time. I got biceps now...I never had biceps before!! My mother tells me I'm fat every time I see her..in person or in video call.....I just ask her if she forgot to draw on her eyebrows today? Lol! I'm also the only person who she can call to lift the kitchen table when she mops....my thinner sibling hurt their shoulder and my mom has zero muscle and my Dad runs off every time she gives him a task. Lol! Nope I'm defending and protecting my Inner Child now. She didn't ask for any of this BS from people. If I lose the weight, I'm never going to go back to that "too thin" girl if I can help it because it wasn't healthy, I had injuries and nutrient deficiencies and low blood sugar due to not eating.

Don't our people talk bad about you if you loose too much weight. Idk about you but when I was small them chat bowt yuh like daag if yuh too mauga.

My mother....a Bajan..every time I see her in person or in video call...: ah..yuh fat! Me, letting her know about my badman bad mind Bumboclaat boundaries: you forget to put on your eyebrows this morning? you still want my fat to lift that heavy thing for you that nuhbody else wan do? Then I call it even. Match the energy...them would never say another word. My mother is old so she forgets and needs reminding.

I often tell people that I don't need to watch my weight, because everybody else does it for me.

In Trinidad and Tobago they would literally tell you "where you going with all that weight?" Lol

Man St.Lucia is the same ….so frustrating

Yes!!! You get treated differently based on the hairstyle lol it’s so interesting

Men treated me differently when I did my nails for the first time. Is it European beauty standards?

Similar situation for most of my life I spent all of my teens and early 20s with no curves and a bloated stomach...but hey I was thin....it wasn't the good thin. Now I'm fat ( mostly due to medication), I'm happier and healthier! I remind myself to eat now because losing bone density and muscle before during and after menopause will give you all kinds of pain!! I think when I was that thin it was like me abusing my body by saying that food didn't matter. I discovered that I'm neurodivergent now which might be a cause of why I struggled with food. The medication and circumstances surrounding my mental health made me comfort eat and increase my appetite. I've had therapy and I'm learning to ignore the BS that comes out of people's mouths. They don't know any better. I learnt that in therapy. I have a friend from high secondary school and anytime someone insulted her she would insult them right back....I think she had the right idea. That's how I'm approaching my life now in my 40s, especially after my autism diagnosis. I'm usually agreeable but please do not take my kind quiet mind my own business stance for weakness.

The funniest thing is I am actually more in love with my body right now. I feel so comfortable in my skin. I used to hate being naked cos I hated seeing my body but now I don't care. I'm so in love with my body right now but we do need to get fit though. the stomach needs to reduce small

On RU-vid there are at home fitness workouts you can do twice a day

As a kid it never occured to me that my mother was fat. I just thought moms are supposed to be bigger... Now I'm grown up and I'm like who is this little woman ( she's lost weight and I'm taller than her now) and the sibling berates me for not saying our mother is not eating...I'm like "she's healthy the doctor is not freaking out." As long as she's happy and healthy that's all that matters to me now. Same for myself.

Hugs...I'm 93 kg/ 205 lbs and 5 foot 6. Technically obese due to BMI. The gain was mainly due to taking medication for my neurodivergent brain until I finally managed to get therapy. Currently, I'm off the medication but I'm still going through withdrawals like insomnia and low appetite which can last up to 2 years. I'm only 9 months off and I was on it for 8 years. I celebrate my weight/body because it could have easily gone the other way and then I would have more problems from nutrient deficiencies and no muscle. I'm pretty strong because I do a manual job two days a week and I swim and cycle and walk about 10k steps a day or more....even with an injured knee and flat feet. I have zero obesity-related health conditions so my doctor is not chasing me down with weight-loss drugs and shakes. I'm 42 and I'm happy that my body made it this far because in all honesty there were a few times when I would not have been alive. After I found out I was autistic I decided that the first step is to stop masking and hiding myself away and making myself small ( in body or in mind or in presence) for other people! For the knee pain I recommend, seeing a physiotherapist and doing leg weights on the gym machines and stretches and massage rolling your quads and hamstrings. You got this. Go and see your doctor to check all your health markers not just how much you weight and what your dress size is. I'm like if I can swim 100 breaststrokes and do 100 squats without stopping they cannot tell me a thing about my weight. My mom is thin but she cannot walk or swim at all because she has no leg muscles. Her cousin is the same age and he weighs a lot more but he can do all of those things and he's not walking around with a 6 pack.

@@marleyhill34 Thanks for the encouragement! I’ve started walking 10steps daily now. Trying to reset the microbiomes in my gut because something is not right in how I process food 😅. You have an amazing story - acknowledging the mental aspect to weight is huge. I’ve literally started praying for strength and divine support for weight loss and my resolve has been stronger. I’m trying to break away from using food as an outlet for stress. Thanks again for your kind words and sharing your story

Girl I'm over here in my Miserable Middle-aged Milennial era reclaiming my time to only please myself!! I just got diagnosed with autism at 42 and I'm done masking, making myself smaller ( physically and mentally) and people-pleasing. Two weeks ago my managers were complaining and threatened to cut my pay and fire me...I didn't even look them in the eye or miss a beat and said ok....send me the paperwork and continued doing what I was doing. Cause my brain is already like "So I can take it to the disability/labour/employment court/office/tribunal." I have zero chill now. That autism diagnosis let the chihuahua in my brain off the leash!!! lol! If someone calls me fat, i'ma bout to tell them about their receding hair. Lol! I'm moving with that TikTok Gen Z unapologetic energy. I used to be such a quiet polite person...it got me nowhere.

@@marleyhill34 I know that’s right! I’m happy for you and being unapologetically you because we literally only have one life to live and we can’t go around pleasing everybody to make them feel good while we are hiding who we are as please. Getting there slowly myself, but is definitely an eye-opener when you really start focusing on yourself.

At the end of the day, skinny or fat, your self worth should never be in how you look anyway. Take that to the Lord.

Also, part of the weight loss journey involves other people actually noticing😂 You know you’re doing something right when people, and not only our mirrors, tell us we’ve lost weight. It’s a dopamine booster. So it’s defo hurtful when it’s the other way around. People need to mind their business true, but you better notice when I’m working my ass off in the gym😂

How can I like this comment more than once? 😊 You literally nailed it! People lack accountability and like to be babied to the point of their own detriment. I can’t stand it!

My thoughts exactly. This is what we fail to understand sometimes.

As someone who is middle-aged and recently diagnosed autistic...I no longer care if I'm attractive or better to other people's opinions....Nope reclaiming my time. I refuse to let anyone including myself bully my inner child anymore. All I care about is my health. Mental, Emotional, Physical, Sexual, Financial, Spiritual, My Home Environment. I spent many years masking and people-pleasing...to the detriment of my autistic brain....yeah I'm not doing that anymore. I've been thin ( in an unhealthy way as I was not eating) and I've been fat ( also unhealthy eating/emotional eating but also due to medication for my neurodivergent brain). All I want to be is healthy. You will never please all the people all of the time but you can please yourself about 90% of the time!!

Hugs was it stress..made Covid ruined a lot of people's lives and not even with them getting the virus. I still struggle to leave the house now....

How so??

Yes, that was your friend. Your friend would’ve appreciated it which you now know. I wouldn’t use that as a general blanket for every single person, especially as your relationship with each person varies ❤

I wouldn’t use your friend’s experience as a blanket statement. And a response to her would be what the video inferred which is you never know what someone is going through health or life wise unless they tell you, but now that she let you know, you know now.

I see what you both are saying. I guess the majority when I speak up about it it is only to people that I consider friends. I do another instance though a girl on my volleyball team. She had graduated and was about to get married and lost a ton of weight and I told her she looks fabulous and she wasn’t excited at all! So that’s always in back of my mind too.

Hugs....we need to get out of that mindset..they say the same to thin people in the Caribbean..."shape like a pencil or a stick" It's rude. As long as the personal is healthy we need to Mind our own business.

Bigger me is healthier than me at my thinnest....unfortunately. I'm the other way around to most people. When I get really stressed out, I stop eating. I learnt I had autism this year. Before that, I took medication to stop my brain from melting down emotionally which has a side effect of weight gain. I got therapy, got diagnosed and now I'm on an ASD journey but also on a 2-year psychotropic withdrawal journey to handle my neurodivergent brain without the "fat sedative". I was on it for 8 years and my doctors never tried to put me on weight loss drugs and shakes. They checked all my other health markers- ECG, cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar, liver and kidney function and they are all ok. Only thing wrong with me is the wonky brain and a bad knee from an old injury when I was thin!! ( I think I got the knee injury because my muscles were weak despite me being thin)

Bigger does not equal not healthy. Smaller does not equal healthy.

I'm in my me era. Self-re-parenting. ( i just found out I;m autistic), getting my body strong ( regardless of weight) and coming off psychotropic drugs and planning for my retirement. I do not have time for other people that much but especially if they are going to disturb my peace and say BS. Neurodivergent brains are like a BS detector...lol! as soon as there is some BS we get triggered.

best answer to look like you've lost weight

A lot of people really struggle to put on weight

Assuming someone made positive lifestyle changes just because they lost weight is part of the issue, it implies someone made bad decisions because they gained weight. Everyone should just stop commenting on people's bodies

Wow that's a very myopic world view

I agree. However I think the issue is people not complementing anything positive about you verses all the complements. I think habits are more important. You can be overweight and still more active and eat more balanced than someone smaller than you but the compliments won't be rolling in the same way.

What is wrong with getting compliments after losing weight. What if you do look more attractive, healthier, more approachable?? Being fat is unhealthy, some people are overweight and they are still pretty so they get compliments. But aside from that small percentage …. majority of the time being overweight conceals beautiful people because their beauty is covered by fat and unnecessarily so due to genetics, unhealthy eating, etc. It’s just the truth.

@@Ashleyunfiltered Hi there. I get your point but it’s still wrong. What’s wrong is treating people differently and positively only when they are smaller and you have no positive comments if a person looks nice who is bigger and healthy. Their health, unless you are their doctor, parent or spouse is none of your business and if you feel a person must be thin to hear positive comments from you then you do not deserve to say anything to them, period! The inverse is also true, some people do not like being thin and the reasons behind their weight loss could be stress or sickness! People need to stop feeling like they are entitled to opinions about people’s bodies, no matter your intention. It is insensitive and rude.

My parents are in their 70s...they already know that if they comment negatively on me I'm going to comment negatively back on them. I'ma match their energy and see how they like it. I'm fat and you are wrinkly...i think we are even. Lol!

@@marleyhill34 Oh no

Shoulda told them that their woman/man is cheating behind their back. lol! It's matching energy season. My Caribbean parents already found out. Lol!

@@marleyhill34 lol. You're amazing. I'm definitely gonna try that next.

I'm not concerned unless they tell me that they are unhealthy and they need to lose or gain weight. I have very thin family members and very big family members and they are all still healthy. strangers? it's none of my business.

Oh you aren’t trying to bang or chase down a fat person for sexual intrest People want validation physically for their soul No physically if skinny is beautiful mostly if you’re not that or far from that that’s what ppl see !!! Do desire desirability when your are doing the work to be attractive we know how it is!