Their Behavior Generates Insecurity And Obsession In YOU

Подписаться 871 тыс.

Просмотров 22 тыс.

50% 1

🔴 LIVE Webinar Sept 10. Heal Overwhelm & Procrastination: bit.ly/3Tl1XaN
🟢 Order My New Book and Attend a Special LIVE Workshop Sept 25: bit.ly/4dRI8Sj
Do You Have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: bit.ly/3GhE65z
FREE COURSE: *The Daily Practice*: bit.ly/3X1BrE0
Website: bit.ly/3CxgkRY
***
When you date a Love Addict, YOU become their drug. At first they can make you feel like the most special, beautiful person, and all the pain and loneliness in your life was for a reason, because NOW, finally, you real true love has come along. Love addicts LOVE the feeling of being that for you. But they can't sustain it, and that's why dating them is such a roller coaster of highs when they love you, and lows when they totally disappear. The horrible thing about love addiction is that is spreads -- now YOU are the one who can't think of anything else. My letter today is from a woman whose life is now falling apart because she's hooked on a love addict.
10 Things Romantic Manipulators Say. FREE Download: bit.ly/3ZcUnkm
***
🟢 Letters: Want to submit a question for me to answer in a video?
Keep it short, not too explicit, relevant for this audience.
bit.ly/3VVxqjm
🟢 Become a Member!
Access ALL my courses, webinars, group coaching & online community
bit.ly/3Zfx9dN
🟢 Take My Online course: Healing Childhood PTSD
bit.ly/3k6gQQH
🟢 How I Recently Lost 27 Pounds: ble.life/V9fe9O
🟢 Change Trauma-Driven Dating Patterns
Online course: Dating & Relationships for People with CPTSD
bit.ly/3IBbrv7
🟢 Learn to Heal Dysregulation
Online course: Dysregulation Bootcamp
bit.ly/3ZpjGAh
🟢 Heal Isolation and Build Better Relationships
Online course: Connection Bootcamp
bit.ly/3iuUEPz
🟢 Coaching Programs & LIVE Calls with Anna
🔹 NEW Coaching Program for DATING: Apply Now: bit.ly/3Qjdozs
🔹 8-Week Coaching Intensive for Healing CPTSD Symptoms: bit.ly/3wjVVjg
🔹 Join LIVE Webinars with My Team and Me: bit.ly/3ifhJ8U
🟢 PARTNERS/RECOMMENDED PRODUCTS
(I receive commissions on referrals & recommend services I know and trust)
🔹 Is Carb Sensitivity Sabotaging Your Energy and Weight? Take the Quiz:
ble.life/V9fe9O
🔹 NEED ONLINE THERAPY? BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist:
betterhelp.com...
🔹 Try MUSE Headband to Calm Your Mind: choosemuse.com...

Опубликовано:

8 сен 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 99

@ruthdberkowitz593 Год назад

Lock down + CoDependents Anonymous helped me turn away from repeating this pattern for years. Now, I recognize it quickly, cut them off, and never look back (except to remind myself of how much healing I have achieved and that I can trust myself not to fall for it again).

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Congratulations on your healing! So happy for you. Thank you for sharing your experience, strength & hope. Julie@TeamFairy

@TheBonyLevi Год назад

The worst lie about narcissists is that you are the person who attracts them. Incorrect!!! They cast a wide net. They treat it like a full time job! Its not you. Its them.

@007nadineL Год назад

It is them. It is partly women's fault. We can protect ourselves by not sleeping with men for months while you wait to see.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thank you for this comment! The Fairy is often saying it isn't who you attract, it's who you choose to accept or tolerate in your life: "I attract mosquitoes but I don't date or sleep with them." Julie@TeamFairy

@Hammondchris Год назад

😂👍

@christinashipley2575 Год назад

I use to laugh and say that I apparently had an imaginary Neon I attract Nerds sign glowing on my forehead. Now I realize that translates to Narcissist too. BWAHAHA lol. 😂😂😂😂. . I definitely didn't go out intentionally looking for them but being a true Indigenous healer and Empath Apparently as I moved across different states in my career to help heal other's in tge health care industry........, I just found out that Narcissist spread their nets wider and farther and I somehow kept managing to land in areas that had nests full of Narcissist like a vipers den waiting to target their pray😊 Lol

@Wetryourbesteachday Год назад

Your traits attract us.

@missyk1477 Год назад

Layla: RUN! Believe it or not, YOU are getting the better deal. That other girl is in for a world of heart break. Been there, done that. YOU deserve so much better!

@alxxxxxxxxxbnhi Месяц назад

I'm so sorry! And the man never changed?

@alexarobinson2850 Год назад

Reforming a guy as a classic example of codependency is spot on, and yet, our media consistently put this up as the pinnacle of relationships when I was a kid. Just look at Beauty and the Beast.

@ruthdberkowitz593 Год назад

Yes, we were set up by fairy tales and rom-coms! Combine that with attachment trauma and we have no radar or strength to see it and walk away as soon as the red flags start waving in the wind.

@monicathrasher3561 Год назад

This was the hardest thing I overcame. In 2019 I went in patient diagnosed with C-PTSD, narcissistic abuse. I remember feeling like he was my drug of choice. All the love bombing, gaslighting, etc. I was in it 3 years, now free of him over 4 years, but only stopped obsessing about him 2 years ago. I spent the first 3 years single, healing what was IN ME that tolerated the lying and cheating. So glad he didn’t choose to marry me. Glad he discarded me. Hurt like hell. But God!

@TheDude713 Год назад

Thank God you didn't marry that Hell!

@firemonkey0011 Год назад

The best thing you can do, imo is go at least a year with no contact. It truly helps clear your head to see things in a different light.

@5gx673 Год назад

Agree. Abstinence from the person is good

@TheDude713 Год назад

It's hard as hell, but once that fog starts to lift, you'll actually wonder why you stayed so long. Good vibes your way!

@user-dj7gc1wo7b Год назад

Sadly this is all true. Was with a narcissist and it nearly destroyed me.

@charlottewhite1277 Год назад

same

@Silly_Hobbit_Twix_Are_4_Squids Год назад

Same, married a few of them. Thankfully God revealed the last potential one before it got too serious. Plus my mom ... 🤷🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️

@user-dj7gc1wo7b Год назад

We will make it!

@joeljoy4144 Год назад

If there is a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality, we always assume Hyde is the monster because he comes out mean and ugly. But in reality, Dr. Jekyll is the real monster because he shows intermittent niceness despite the evidence to the contrary. Sheep never put on wolves clothing. Wolves put on sheep's clothing to hide their true intentions. Good people don't pretend to be selfish, deceptive, cruel, or even evil. It's always the other way around! Get the tools to spot the "wolves" in woolley costumes.! Childhood trauma blinds our 20/20 vision.

@ebbyc1817 Год назад

" Dr. Jekyll is the real monster because he shows intermittent niceness despite the evidence to the contrary. " 🔔

@kiskakuznetsova503 Год назад

Oh that fog! It's something I didn't fully understand until the past few years. It's like the missing link for trauma survivors. Thank you for teaching us about these things!

@HolyGround777 Год назад

Layla: I’m sorry you got so wrapped up in the deceptive web of this man, don’t give him the power over if you get to move on or not, you can do that yourself! You got this! Hugs ❤

@greyfox2822 Год назад

So many people chase after the toxic ones out of desire to make them stop being toxic *for them*. The behavior boggles my mind. Had a few relationships end because I basically wasn't toxic enough. It's sad. What a waste.

@TheCakeIsALie422 Год назад

The most fascinating piece of this for me was when she said “I figured it would be fine if it was just some old memorabilia from a past relationship“. Then he gives her a few different answers, until finally he offers “its memorabilia from a past relationship“ and she says, oh good! That’s fine then. Not intending to make fun of her at all. I’ve just never seen such an explicit example of somebody purposefully saying a few different things until they land on what you need to hear to feel better!

@priscillabranch9824 Год назад

Whoooooo addicts are never happy. Love bombing and love addiction are new for me. Thanks to you and author of letter for offering me invaluable insight on this. I may have to suggest this 12 step program to a client, particularly one who dwells on a past relationship

@zebrafigs8450 Год назад

I actually thought she was upset because her new friend was going back to a horrible guy who hurt them both. Turns out she was upset because he didn't choose her to mess with some more. That was a curveball.

@alxxxxxxxxxbnhi Год назад

sounds more like cognitive dissonance. the writer had good instincts but overrode them, made the right call by dumping, blocking him and ending contact with the other woman but was hurt by being used by both of them. she had a sense of purpose in shedding light on the deceptions by knowing the other woman, but then it triggered another layer of hurt to know someone returned to such an awful man causing her to question it all again.

@Zoe88859 Год назад

Anna your hair is looking FABULOUS

@mshowell6264 Год назад

When you've been married & he was your first...that shows she's a good girl & monsters prey on the sweet & trusting...I was a good girl... never remarried after my narcissistic husband of 20 yrs. Married from 17-37yrs old... But I did create a FUNN life...I wish I could have learned to trust again to be able to remarry...but I couldn't...but I did remodel a 5000' house on 10 acres & had 6 barrel horses ran barrels pro & raised two beautiful Daughters & also bought another 22 acres & built a commercial indoor arena...my suggestion BUY horses they love you unconditionally...& You'll get happy & mega proposals!!! I got 5 a week for 5 yrs running after & while I was building the indoor arena!! 😆🤠👍🏻

@alisatjaden3906 Год назад

I have horses too. Never trusted to remarry, but horse love separates the wheat from the chaff. You can see a real man vs a pretend man by their commitment to the lifestyle. Love your channel ❤

@dubaiedge Год назад

❤️

@juliabrown5396 Год назад

I have a mule instead of a horse. One is all I can take care of. She also takes care of me. Riding, grooming, and making sure she is content makes me feel worthwhile.

@alisatjaden3906 Год назад

@@juliabrown5396 Exactly!! Plus you KNOW where they are at night! Lol! In a stall, corral, pasture just waiting for you!! If I have a hard day I can just throw my arms around my horse's neck and hug him. He understands!! ❤💯

@cheryltaggart1648 Год назад

Go you, writer. You're wise. I know it sucks, but I seriously feel bad for the other girl. He's only going to continue to act the same way to every girl he's with. You dodged a bullet.

@NeroNORirl Год назад

it's like this letter got a massive focus on all the red flags in the entier book of red flags. Addiction to everything is the only missing thing here

@turquoisetoile-universalethics Год назад

We can't counsel love addicts or the people that are addicted to them, unless they are willing to learn how to tolerate the pain while living without the person or without the drug of choice. Otherwise they're going to keep staying with the person or staying with the drug of choice. Usually in my case it's when the pain of being with them is worse than the pain of being, whether I am the love addict or the one addicted to the love addict. Many of us never learned how to cope with life on life's terms without some kind of coping mechanism or drug of choice. It's easier for many of us to stay stopped and it's harder for us to stay stopped because of our inability to cope without it. I have been on both ends of the love addict. I have been the love addict and the one who loves the love addict. I've been to counseling and therapy and I have been sponsored in slaa, and I have not been able to get sober until I was willing to learn how to live without it and have a life and it still is not easy. But the pain of hanging onto someone like this, or rather the idea of them, has been worse and more deadly now than living without them.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

"But the pain of hanging onto someone like this, or rather the idea of them, has been worse and more deadly now than living without them." While this is a painful spot, it's the first step to getting better, so you're making progress! Thanks for sharing your experience, we're glad you're here. Julie@TeamFairy

@turquoisetoile-universalethics Год назад

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy and thank you

@rachellebrown3144 Год назад

Why is this so many of our stories? My ex and I were like this for years outside of the communication with his ex. I understand why, it’s just sad. Praying for continued healing.

@airingcupboard 4 месяца назад

18:21 this has really hit hard. Partly, it's the emotional tone at this point, but I've also experienced this and you hit the nail on the head. The unhealthy obsessive character of it and the need to have some sort of 'justice' as well as the co-dependant aspects about 'changing them' (or yourself for them) to bend so much to continue this toxic 'relationship' all dovetail with an experience I had about a decade ago. This and the level of self-denial about the actual narrative while 'in' it and the foggy thoughts ("can this person really be trying to hurt me?") and somehow the answer never being an emphatic yes, makes me realise I also have CPTSD, amongst other indicators discussed on this channel. I thought the CPSD was one thing to take in, but wow, I thought this thing was 'just' a bad experience? Now it makes sense. Knowing that - what can you do next? I find it very hard to remember my childhood and some parts were very functional, while the emotional part and the relationship between my parents was clearly the most troubling aspect. I'm processing a lot of grief at the moment and feeling of something having been lost, maybe even something I'm unaware of, but unsure of how to move beyond that.

@priscilladias2310 Год назад

Your work is incredible! Thank you thank you thank you!!

@thenewyorkcitizen Год назад

I think guys like this are incapable of having an emotionally honest relationship but they get off on hurting and stringing along others. Just pathetic.

@faychampoux345 Год назад

Fabulous video! Thank God for SLAA and recovery.

@KINGSU2U 11 месяцев назад

Makes sense to me. RU-vid Therapy I love YOU

@jacalyn153 Год назад

What a waste of time. Our unrestrained emotions often string us along. Not men for me but women love bombing me. I’m a very agreeable and accepting listener and eventually learned to not let my need for friendship draw me into uneven and unrealistic relationships go slow

@csc8697 Год назад

I think I dated the same man! Found out he was a psychopath (imo) but the great sex " the perfect bf" was like a drug. I did things I would never think of doing.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Sounds like you are away from him now -- good! Thank you for sharing your experience. Julie@TeamFairy

@nicolaseinhorn4540 Год назад

Hey, Well what you feel is so normal. Makes complet sens. You have involved so much Lila. The community is just here to listen to yoir story because you rule Giiiirl ! You left him, all what matters. You deserve so much better. Have a good one everybody !

@biancas2639 Год назад

omg shocking that people like that exist! (The man)

@linnaewillis8975 Год назад

Thanks for sharing this video Anna ! I had no idea that there was such a thing as a "love addiction" you're videos have given me lots more knowledge, about the different attachment styles that are out there, thanks again 😀

@user-ko7ch1nv8v 9 месяцев назад

I'm so lucky to have come across this channel at exactly the right time in my life! Thought not having a CPTD from childhood, I've found myself completely uninformed about how you do relationship. I know for sure if my (pretty abusive) ex or his girlfriend, like in this letter, had contacted me before watching this, I would totally have fallen for it! Now will know better than to do smth like this thought))

@EB321 Год назад

This is my situation!.16 years now 😢

@5gx673 Год назад

Wishing you well ❤️ you can find freedom and healing

@raslalique Год назад

Aww... I send you my love. You can break the chains! We are all out here sending you the strength to

@EB321 Год назад

@@raslalique thank you 😭 There are no sex and love addicts anonymous near me, so I am going to try a nearby codependent anonymous. I feel completely helpless and hopeless.

@raslalique Год назад

@@EB321 Good luck with codependents anonymous. I'm sure it will help. Unfortunately, there are none of those things in my country but healing is still possible.

@vrabiastie Год назад

You’re an angel Anna 🤍

@kathyingram3061 Год назад

~He sounds almost as bad as my ex~Im embarrased to say, but i fell for him so fast & so hard, that i managed to rationalize date rape for more than a year~Once i confronted him about thats what he did, he stopped stringing me along every 6 months or so~

@fgbowen Год назад

17:41 - AR of TCCF - You are Just So Good at this. God bless you good lady.

@stacyjaye6350 Год назад

The lies...😥

@sophiareed8266 Год назад

You won't like this, Layla, but it sounds like you are stalking the man. You do it in your mind, online and through his girlfriend. Let go or you will drive yourself crazy.

@tammylynn1 Год назад

Maybe you could do a video about people who have recovered but relapsed after the 2nd divorce? Shame and humiliation.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks for your suggestion. It's definitely a thing for CPTSD symptoms to flare up after a period of stress. Give the Daily Practice a try, it can help move through it and get the emotional flashbacks manageable. Free Daily Practice Course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Courses & membership at the website: www.crappychildhoodfairy.com Julie@TeamFairy

@fattunicorns Год назад

I AM A Love addict… listening 😮

@randyhudson5786 Год назад

My wife of 20 years is saying the same thing my first wife was saying after a 20 year realationships 10 years of marriage

@nunya5136 5 месяцев назад

Fair 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

@sandybrown108 Год назад

This sounds more like a narcissist/ sex addict. The description here of a love addict does not match that of Pia Melody in her book, "Facing Love Addiction"

@northofyou33 Год назад

The letter writer sounds more like the love addict, and yes, he sounds like a narcissist/sex addict.

@ebbyc1817 Год назад

The letter-writer is the love addict, if you listen to the video you will hear Anna say she is in full-blown addiction.

@nightmareoracle Год назад

Ty🌻

@VasilisaForbes Год назад

Wild.

@auser2721 Год назад

What if I’m that addicted?

@lpgirl Год назад

Yup, yup, yup....but he died, so that's all I'll say....

@csc8697 Год назад

Mine too, he was from NH

@lpgirl Год назад

NY. @@csc8697

@jeanannedupratt7075 Год назад

There is a famous poet called Robert Browning who wrote a poem called 'Red, red rose'. I wonder whether RB was in fact a narc. Or he was a man who - like Man in general - was validated in his sexual yearnings, addiction and need and even got off on it as a poet recognised today in our collective mind. Isn't this thought ghastly ? In Behavioral Science today, we are able to put yesterday behind us and go foward with our wishes, in respect of territory - ours + other people's. And be happy. Thank you for your videos over internet which confirm to women - and possibly men as well - everything we suspected + feared about these types of relationships, and never dared ask.

@northofyou33 Год назад

I think most great writers have/had some serious mental health issues. It's what makes their writing interesting, honestly. IMO, most great love stories (Romeo and Juliet and all the rest) are about limerence. I have a big question about what all this means, because I believe great art comes from trauma, and great art is crucial to society. So, then, what???

@raslalique Год назад

@northofyou33 I think about this too but I'm uncertain if this is really the case. The greats who were emotionally healthy don't make for great stories so we don't hear how amazing their family life was etc. Tina Turner (as an example) had a rough start to her life but eventually things improved. Her story of abuse is still told yet she made great music while away from her abusive relationship. We don't hear that part. Also, a lot of art comes out of isolation and self-soothing and self-regulating behaviour. So maybe this explains why damaged or hurt people do great art? Their pain makes them isolate and work it out over and over until their work is genius. My mentor right now is very emotionally healthy and stable. Seems to have always been and he's consistently one of the best in his field

@annacichocka7734 Год назад

14:53 two Sturges LMAOOOO

@johndenver5015 11 месяцев назад

I'm curious about something. ... Anna listening to you I'm reminded by what we used to call rebounding. The thing I wonder if ... Does the guy she maybe Hung up on looks like her ex husband. Come to think of it I don't recall anyone addressing this. I've noticed that people that have been dumped tend to date someone that looks like their ex . I don't think I have seen videos on that

@karlareadstheclassics217 7 месяцев назад

I think they just have a physical type they go for.

@im19ice3 Год назад

fubar situation :s

@drivative 10 месяцев назад

A direct question I'd like to ask, which is which 12-step is for me: CoDA or SLAA. I am FA/disorganised, have never had a romantic relationship (was in a loveless marriage for 6 years giving us 2 kids), but avoid intimate relationships like the worst plague. I have had only limerant type reactions where I explode with overwhelming flooding emotions, which I'm now learning a lot about, 30 years after the first massive collapse of this nature. Otherwise, I go completely single with little connection to people. It's definitely an attachment dysfunction, but is it a love/sex (fear and avoidance) thing, co-dependency, or what? Btw, as someone who doesn't get into couple situations at all, not much of the attachment material resonates. Love your work. Would be great if it were possible get a little response.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 10 месяцев назад

Try both meetings and see what clicks for you. 12-step folks often recommend trying at least six meetings, whether that's in similar but different fellowships, or different meetings of the same fellowship. If you're watching this channel, Adult Children of Alcoholics *and Dysfunctional Families* is probably a third option, too. Also, if you haven't already, try Daily Practice. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

@northofyou33 Год назад

I'm a love addict. But I've been working on myself all my life. Are you saying no one should date me? Sorry, but that hurts! I don't lie and cheat, I just fall madly in love very easily. All my life I've done that. I'm not sure if you meant it that way, but the title makes it sound like the man is the love addict, not the letter writer.

@raslalique Год назад

I don't think that's what was said. However, there are some behaviours that are unsafe. I recently learnt that I am avoidant one minute and clingy the next. These behaviours aren't safe to potential partners with CPTSD either. However, there is someone who is willing to stay if we discuss our issues and work on our healing. I've seen that happen

@lynnilyify 11 месяцев назад

Dear Anna, @childhoodfairy, I am very desperate at the same time confused and ashamed. I don't even know what type of thing I got myself in, but today, I ended up going to the police. Living on an island, not knowing, what I can do anymore. Where and how may I write a letter to you? Please let me know. I am desperate to understand what is going on, what is my role in this and how I can prevent this for the future. I have the feeling that all my partners get addicted to me, to a point, where I have no safe space anymore. Please help me. I don't know of anyone else like you, who could help me with this. Thank you .❤