Theo Von and Joey Diaz Talk Partying, Escorts, and Close Calls 

“Fuck I’m lonely” I felt that lol

Joey Diaz has to be the only man alive to use an 8 ball of coke, in order to quit smoking cigarettes 😂 legend

" They don't care, as long as you pay them " 😂 😂 😂

Had a bad coke addiction 10 years ago was the worst time in my life but also the most adventurous.

“Putting on an apron to seem like an organized guy” 🤣🤣🤣 … I’ve been there!! lol

“Thats how I quit smoking cigarettes, I bought an 8 Ball” is the most Joey phrase ever

“I put one of my feet on each pedal because I didn’t want one of my feet making all the decisions” 😂😂😂😂😂

Joey looks healthy af

Bru that bit about steam coming off Joey at the airport had me rollin' at 5:00

“Getting high and not getting anywhere.” 😅💯

this makes me feel less alone and less of an irretrievable scumbag

Walking around with a 🕯️ and 🪞 had my dying😂

Joey: "I f'ing OD'd on valium." Theo: "really? You could OD on the sunset there, it's beautiful area." Love these guys! They're crazy as hell!! 🤣😂😅

The way Joey's eyes lit up on that "Really?" is so genuinely warm.

It’s a miracle that you guys survived and are sitting across from one another telling these stories!🤦‍♀️😝💯🙏🏻

In the eighties you could smoke on an airplane (here in Europe), as soon as the thing was up in the air you could go to the bar and drink cocktails till you were told you had to get back to your seat for landing. And you just stooped back to the first seat that was free, got in it and waited to touch down and stumbled to the airport bar, drink on and fall asleep on a toilet. Golden years

"8 more weeks of 8ball" 😂😂😂😂

The Way Joey says “really?” At 10:51 😊 He would be the best uncle.

i got a million stories like this but mine all occurred 35-40 years ago. i tell people these stories and they look at me sideways and think i am full of shit but they are 100% true.

16:18 "WOW" Bruh that had me dying

This is TREMENDOUS

Theo and Joey are both right, as a fan of both I can say probably most all of us appreciate how candid you both speak on topics others would consider taboo, that takes a lot of balls, especially when you're both in a position to lose so much, you got my respect.

8 more weeks of 8ball!!😂😂😂

I could never be as honest as these two nuts. lol 😂

She was telling Von to eff ' her dog... 😂😂😂

Theo might be the most unique comic ever. His ability to find the joke is incredible. Same with Mark Normand.

Why was the chick's voice joey impersonated the same damn voice he uses when he's telling stories about lee 🤣🤣🤣 omfg that's so great lol.

LMAO uncle Joey never disappoints man I swear

This is absolute gold- I was literally crying laughing . Joey Diaz and Theo von exchanging cocaine stories had me in tears laughing 😂.

That “really” from Joey after Theo saying he looked after that lady for a day and a half was pure hearted as you can get!!I had a huge smile after watching that 🙈❤️😂

I grew up in the 80s and 90s - It was a different world - a better world.

“A coke rock fell out my nose and I looked up to the ceiling” is fucking crazy, I’m friggin dying!!!

Uncle Joey locking slim and trim.

“I kept touching Her Butt but she just kept moving my Hand n pointing at this Puppy”😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

i was a driver for an escort... these stories are so common its insane...

I don't think Theo understands the level of drugs that Joey Diaz did

Joey Diaz feels like an Italian Charles Bukowski to me lmao 😂

Your videos are so chill, always brightens my day

I choked on a pretzle and pissed in my shorts and still cudn't stop laughing.. 😂wtfff!

“You can od on the sunsets there it’s a beautiful area” this is the type of positive thinking I need to make myself do

Joey kills no matter where he is 🤣🤣😂

That first story was wild about handing the prostitute money through the door several times a night.

“Fuck I’m lonely” 💀💀😆😆 Theo gets me every time lol

Can't have times like that now, everybody has a high quality camera in their pocket and the means to share videos immediately.

“Nowadays you just sit on a plane like a commie” hahahaha coco killing me

Fricken Joey Diaz comes up with the wildest stories,, LMAO,,.

Joey could play a mafia boss with hair and eyebrows like that.

This is the closest thing ive heard to OLD SCHOOL stern ive heard in a long time. This sounds like something me and my buddies would listen to in the truck on the way to work and laugh our asses off the entire ride.. Ty 😊

I was too nervous to let one of my feet make all the decisions is the most Theo thing ever

9:37 Theo I'm dying 😂😂

Joey hit Johnny with the Lara's butler treatment.

I would pay to watch a hundred seasons of a series about Theo, joey and Joe Rogan histories. LMFAO 😂

When Joey tells storys, I can close my eyes and see my whole childhood. Both my parents came from Cuba in the 60s and lived in Spanish Harlem. They were a few years older than Joey....so the stories are so relatable...the era. My father spent alot of time hustling in pool halls in his youth. Bendiciones Joey

"That was the closest thing I had to a uniform." 😂😂😂

JD is the mutha funkin OG!! Doin rails on the airplane dinner tray with a blanket over your head is straight gangsta!!!

Drugs. Lord help us all. It’s amazing any of us live through it

How he quit cigs is the best thing ever

Another fucking priceless duo, I adore to watch. Thanks for being you guys. You are fucking awesome 💜💪🤣

Jethro Tull. Aqualung.

These 2 are just genius

"They don't care, long as you pay them" 😭😭

🦉 I remember being so lonely years ago I phoned a prostitute out the phone book and asked if there were any male ones , she said yes after a long pause , three hours later( of pure waiting in terror , )he appeared , looked like a smaller version of my uncle so I paid him £175 for the hour, back then that wasn’t cheap and ended up only talking for 2 hours and sent him on his way , thinking back I’m sure it was her man , loneliness, sad songs and booze can make you do strange shit. 🤦‍♀️ never again. 😊 ✌️

fellas, I've gotta do a little time starting Wednesday morning...when I say a little, I do mean a little....a few weeks in county...thing is I'm around Theo's age and I haven't been in trouble since the early oughts....it's more annoying & maddening than anything else but thank you...this has helped me....

I could listen to Joey tell stories all day haha

“punxsutawney phil” reference is willlllld 💀

1:34 - was that a Dementor death rattle?

8 more weeks of 8ball LMFAOOOOO that groundhog day joke was hillarious

This is gold

Joey looks so much healthier! Good on you

It’s 3:30 and this guys a f chef 🤣🤣🤣

The underground railroad was nothing like that sir Theo!!!🤣

Just earlier I was shaking my head thinking about a guy I met in the drug underworld and some of the situations you find yourself in with those people. Stranger than fiction.

10:52 The “really?” from Joey after Theo talks about taking care of the sick escort is the most wholesome really I’ve ever seen

"you can't keep getting up out your seat" RAW addiction 💯 in and out the toilet 🚽hoovering lines 🥰 crushing up that hot white rock 😂 ❤Diaz real one 🤩

God bless Joey Diaz

johnny look at this ..(WOW!!!!)😭😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“They don’t care as long as you pay them” lmfaoooo

Joey looks better!

you can o.d. on the sunset.. some things we can only hear from Theo

Theo amazing stuff! Two legends!

"in jersey the bathroom locks from the outside" joey diaz

I’m only 44 but I totally got the Jethro Tull joke. That was my first concert as a kid.

WAAAOOOWWW 👀👀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Laughing for days with these 2

its crazy how accurate theses stories are

people need to hear more of those stories

I feel like I’ve partied way too hard in my life …. But Uncle Joey just told a story from 84 … when I was a year old, this man was already partying like a fkkin Doctor !!!!!!😂

holy hell that ozempic making joey look so different...

I used to carry an alarm clock in my car back then. I never knew where i would end, but i knew if i missed work, i could not afford to do it all over again.

I showed him and he said "wow"!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Joey is hilarious

i love this dude

Wholesome content.

"That's how I quit smoking cigarettes, I bought an eight ball" Joey's built different

This is Gold

Thank you for the honesty Theo! Everybody thinks they’re weird but it turns out everybody has their things. Insecurities, vices, skills

"Wow" 😭😂

Theo working overtime trying to match stories with Joey!

This is like listening to my toughts reminiscing 15 years ago.. " I got the bartender in the back doing línes" 🤣🤣

This whole segment is pure gold 😂

Getting drunk and walking off is wild