Therapist Reacts to Dating Red Flags 🚩 💑 🚩

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Licensed Psychologist, Dr. Han Ren @dr.han.ren reacts to The Cut's video, "What Are Your Red Flags?" Learn more about true dealbreakers like gaslighting and manipulation. Find out some more perplexing relationship "no-go's" and what you can learn from them.
Healthline content is strictly informational and should not be considered medical advice. See a licensed medical professional for diagnosis and treatment recommendations. Opinions expressed in this video may not reflect those of Healthline Media.

Опубликовано:

2 ноя 2023

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Комментарии : 37

@drhanren 8 месяцев назад

Chiming in here to say (as the psychologist in this video), littering is not subjective, and not ok! It was tacked on the end of a whole bunch of more trivial complaints (e.g. long eyelashes, toilet seat, mouth sounds, etc.) and I got it confused in the moment with being cluttered/disorganized. I don't believe littering is something we should normalize and it absolutely would be a red flag for me!

@applejackisbestpony 3 месяца назад

Thank you for coming in to clarify this ❤

@JOvalle135 8 месяцев назад

Having a partner doesn't mean they check every box you want. It's about having your top priorities/values are respected or shared and nuturing the healthy connection you want to carry on. I appreciate the "red flags" definition here.

@jasonmomoa5124 8 месяцев назад

the guy who talked about long nails followed by a girl with long nails took me out

@healthlinementalhealth 8 месяцев назад

😆

@pinnicake 5 месяцев назад

the editors knew what they were doing lmfaooo

@NoNameNomad.... 6 месяцев назад

I don't think littering is a "tiny thing" like eyelashes (which also if you don't find these big eyelashes attractive, that's ok) I think placing value on how someone treats the planet by just throwing their trash on the floor is a good thing personally. It's disrespectful to not put your trash in the bin, we only have one planet to house us all, let's look after it! ❤ I wrote this before reading the comments, I'm so happy to see others mentioning this.

@MariaClara-sy4ok 5 месяцев назад

I loved this therapist haircut, it fits her so well

@williamelliott186 5 месяцев назад

I SCEAMED when the cook said I don't do picky eaters! I'm a pescatarian, ❤❤❤ all foods, and am getting into cooking insects this year!! When she said as a person of color that's a red flag for me too, I was like SAME! I might have a dietary restriction, but everything else WILL be on that table and in my mouth!!!

@carlydavis6196 6 месяцев назад

The guy in the Rainiers shirt got me. You gotta have enough self awareness to detect if you are chewing with your mouth open or not. 😂

@Jerrytheworm 8 месяцев назад

I disagree with her on that littering point. Intentionally littering shows blatant disregard for others and the environment and it is a valid red flag to have imo

@hey_wolf 8 месяцев назад

This is great content! I think you’re definitely going places!!!

@jaimiehamilton9094 8 месяцев назад

Littering is not subjective or petty. It's lazy, disrespectful and harms all of us. We all share this planet. What a whack answer from someone so highly educated.

@hotsauce0606 8 месяцев назад

This video is highly edited, her response might not have been referring to or including the point on littering. Educate yourself before you get your panties in a bunch.

@jaimiehamilton9094 8 месяцев назад

@@hotsauce0606 I watched the entire video where she thoroughly explains herself and her thoughts about the littering. Watch the whole video before making a snarky comment.

@adityashankar9268 8 месяцев назад

I agree with you here, littering is petty, and it also is disregardful of cleaning staff or city cleaning employees who would have to clean it up later I'm making a distinction between littering and having an unclean room here, as littering is something you do externally, having an unclean room, is still something that needs to be worked on, and could potentially indicate hygiene issues, but its more of a data point, personally for me, room cleanliness matters pretty significantly, but that's not everyone i guess also in honesty, room cleanliness is something I'm working on improving on myself too at this point, I'm not gonna get into a relationship until I'm able to manage this aspect of me on a regular basis for a while, atleast that's what I feel at the moment

@triq4250 8 месяцев назад

glad this series is back

@healthlinementalhealth 8 месяцев назад

Us too!

@FaithAmourMusic 6 месяцев назад

Perhaps the therapist is unaware of mysophonia. Just because something doesn’t matter to you doesn’t mean it’s negligible, inconsequential or that it shouldn’t matter to someone else… but I guess this is her job, to say what is or isn’t important according to her 😊

@MarK-wh2oo 5 месяцев назад

She mentioned originally that a red flag is something that would be a universal issue for a relationship. That was the whole idea of her reacting - most of what people say is a red flag is actually a personal preference. She even talks about weaponizing the psychological terminology. So, for me mouth noises are a huge no, but I have friends and relatives who don't even notice, so it's not actually a universal red flag.

@ettinakitten5047 8 месяцев назад

Personally I find being judgmental of picky eating a red flag. And especially that guy saying he doesn't like picky eaters because he's a good cook, it tells me that his dislike of picky eaters probably comes from an egotistical attitude where he gets offended if anyone doesn't like his food. I feel like if you really want to grow in your cooking skills instead of just stroking your ego by cooking for people, you'll enjoy the challenge of finding foods that suit a person who has strong feelings about the texture and/or flavor of foods. He acts like if you're cooking for a picky eater you have to make the same recipes all the time, and that's not true at all. A good way to cook for a picky eater is to prepare one food you know they definitely like and one food you think they might like, which can be something different each time. It's easy to cook for someone who'll eat anything, but a truly good cook can cook for a picky eater and have them loving it.

@tali.shukraa 6 месяцев назад

initially disagreed with you, but i like this perspective. as a culinary artist

@barikareese 5 месяцев назад

As a chef, I agree and disagree. My husband is a picky eater and I have no issues working with his limited likes and creating dishes my whole family can enjoy while slowly introducing him to things he thinks he doesn't like but actually just never had it prepared correctly. But I also know some people who ONLY eat certain foods and refuse to branch out even if it's good and will still stick with their preference and to me is why it's a turn off. Because not being flexible and trying new things even when they're a bit scary to do shows me you're probably not very open to change and growth and that can create problems in the relationship down the line. As we grow as people we'll slowly change and someone who can't handle that probably isn't mature enough for a long-term relationship. Being open to trying new things every once in a while is much better than being stubborn about always knowing what's best and comes off pretentious...

@annt7384 8 месяцев назад

Littering is subjective? What does that even mean? Littering is gross, disrespectful, and unlawful.

@roosterparrottjuniour 8 месяцев назад

Littering is subjective meaning it's not like objectively gross or disrespectful it's a preference that people have

@annt7384 8 месяцев назад

@@roosterparrottjuniour So under what circumstances is littering ok?

@roosterparrottjuniour 8 месяцев назад

@@annt7384 in any living space where the people/person don't care anywhere it's gonna be little to no damage like if you have gum in your mouth and your done with the gum and there's no cars around or you can get it out without the gum hitting someone car where it'll cause them to crash than yeah its fine

@annt7384 8 месяцев назад

@@roosterparrottjuniour Littering is in public places, not being unkempt at someone’s house. Like if you throw out trash from your car out into the street.

@roosterparrottjuniour 8 месяцев назад

@@annt7384 yeah the only problem I can think of is if like let's say your driving and there's a pile of trash in the middle of the street and you somehow are unable to get passed the trash or it's taking a while to get passed it

@camillegraham2078 6 месяцев назад

What happened to the other therapist?

@NoNameNomad.... 6 месяцев назад

I prefer the other therapist, I don't like the way she dismissed littering. Although, as a nurodivergant I do appreciate her stating that we tend to overshare and it's not necessarily a red flag.

@bintiboop2610 5 месяцев назад

@@NoNameNomad.... I hated how she said we (Neurodivergents) are only fine to date for someone who is into quirky people. It‘s not some cute quirk to be ND and especially a therapist should know that.