They Shun The Hardest 

One of my brothers was DF’d as a teenager, and my mother has shunned him for over 30 years. My baby sister has lived a life that should have seen her DF’d 100 times over, yet because she doesn’t have the DF’d label, my mother still speaks to her. My sister’s life choices are well known to my mother, as is her belief as an atheist, so it’s not like my mother can claim ignorance. The mental gymnastics that must happen in her head to justify this has got to be amazing.

luke warm witnesses have excuses for not going door to door , , excuses for irregular meetings , , excuses for gossiping , , but they usually make the all important "memorial meeting" , some assemblies , and SHUNNING - - Bring it on ! No problems there : )

When you point your finger at someone, three of your fingers are pointing back at yourself. People that shun others should keep that in mind.

My older brother was DF’d for smoking when he was a teenager. My mother has shunned him for over 30 years, yet my baby sister lives a life that would have gotten her DF’d 100 times over, but my mother will still talk to her. Her life choices are well known to my mother, but my sister doesn’t have the DF’d label, so it’s fine for my mother to associate with her. The hypocrisy is staggering.

Shunning is cruel

In our instance it has not been so much the “fringe” as it has been those we’ve done the most for. It still amazes me, even though it shouldn’t after this many times, that it is those who have been helped the most who are the least loyal.

The POMI are the worst for sticking up for the religion, even though they don't attend! I also find i get judged sometimes by other ex-JWs for being outspoken and posting info on the organisation. I think ex JWs should all stick up for each other. But then we are allowed personal choices now 🤣😂

My sister died last year, she drank herself to death (39). The reason was, she was shunned so badly after the divorce from her husband. The elders wives were unbelievable to her, but the main thing that killed her is a broken spirit. She loved being a witness, our dad shunned her, and his wife shunned her, but when it came to my dad's wifes son who was the same age as my sister, and also raised a witness, they let him live with them because he wasn't df'd, him and my dad would go to home depot, go shopping, hang out, make food, watch movies, all because he never got baptized. He had 3 felony's should have done 25 years, but they spent incredible amounts of cash to reduce his last sentence, he always promised he would get baptized when he got out so they would drive 100's of miles to go visit him 1 weekend each month, he's still not baptized as promised, he knew what he was doing, and so did my sister. I couldn't get through that this whole religion was wrong, she needed her father, and he wouldn't even have a cup of coffee with her.

I've never said this, but those are the ones I h*te the most. Imagine those hypocrites having the guts to shun me who truly believed and practised what I believed. Hypocrites! They are neither in nor out.

I knew a JW who tried extending her shunning practice to me even as she was a cashier at the local supermarket. I passed along one warning that if she was rude tome while on the job and I am her customer, that will become a discussion with her manager. Behavior control can work both ways! In another case, I had a JW who was real estate agent and handled a property sale transaction for me without shunning. So they can excuse themselves when $ is involved.

been there, my family doesnt have much of a relationship with me. but its what they know. i just try to move on

Just a handful still check on me they know I’m dealing with Heath issues they respect me, and says if I need anything let them know. One old friend checked on me only because of a update from society to check on inactive ones, but she’s like have you looked at the daily text after I spoke to her about my Heath issues, I read the daily text out of curiosity first of the year and it encouraged meeting attendance and field service, I didn’t return the message, she’s only gonna try and pressure me to come back, I was in 23 years, I’m like I know all the tactics. A few have stopped all communication and it hurts but I’m bad association I guess.. just left the organization no immoral life or nothing I was just tired of being hurt, and could no longer force myself to go because of their doctrines and abuse cover up I’m grateful most of my family not in, just friends. Love you guys channel and conversations helps me to realize I’m not along.

I was surprised by this subject because I had that exact experience with a close friend in the congregation and it has stuck with me for many years and thought it was quite unusual but not common. The closest friend I had was a heavy drinker and often cautioned by the elders for smelling of alcohol at the meetings but yet when I started to fade early stages he completely shunned me! You have an interesting hypothesis on this Patrick and it makes good sense. I think in this case there was an underlying arrogance as well and both he and his wife seemed to have the unique ability to look past their own shortcomings yet clearly focus on others. You briefly touched on children and others wanting association with our children while shunning the parents. This has family implications as well (grandparents for example wanting contact with the grandchildren etc.) and would certainly be worth a chat. Thanks for your time and efforts!

Speaking as someone who used to be a JW (DA 2019) I think the "doubling down" comes from trying to keep the attention off of themselves. JWs are all about appearance, so if the people doing the shunning appear to be following the rules, it helps to keep them out of the spotlight.

I never understood the shunning policy I always thought it was so STUPID!!!!! so glad I’m out of that nonsense now. 😵‍💫🙄😮🥺

I'm my mother's only daughter and youngest child, and she decided to give power of attorney to the elders when she was going into surgery for her cancer. It was a huge slap to the face, especially for me, since I had always been the one to help her financially and physically. Now, she decided to shun me completely! Not a care in the world for her grandchildren and her only daughter. I'm okay most days, but the depression creeps in and it hits me like a ton of bricks. There is absolutely no excuse for a parent to do this. I would never ever do anything remotely close to what she has done to my own children. They are what I love most in this life and if someone were to tell me I cannot associate with my own child because they choose to not follow something they don't believe in, then I as their mother will continue to automatically love unconditionally and respect their decision. My mom doesn't love me. In this matter, it's either you are with me or you are not. There is no "she loves me in her own way" BS!

LOL - I think these people seriously think that the demons will become attached to you if they associate with you. I'm sorry to hear that this person shunned you so hard. I think this person must be unhappy inside to act that way when you supported them, but then didn't return the favor. In my own shunning experience, at first I was very devastated. But time heals all wounds. And now I embrace being shunned by such crappy people - haha! I've met far better people on the outside, so congrats on waking up! BTW - I love your accents! My Grandma was from the Emerald Isle & you remind me of her sweet accent. Cheers!

I have personally disfellowshiped the GB from my life, and am in the process of shunning them.

Omg I needed to hear this, I know a person like this who I thought would be more supportive. Total hypocrite.

I had a close friend who was my “second” witness to a brother being inappropriate towards me at the Kingdom Hall and went on to sexually harassing me for months. She wouldn’t come forward to the elders. I had to just accept it and continue to drive her to every meeting, field service etc. I eventually snapped and well started to smoke and drink heavily- I got disfellowshipped. I confided in her before it was announced. Turns out she was giving sexual favours to a brother in car parks after ministry/field service 😱😂😂😂 good luck to her, I say 🤷🏻‍♀️

I was dfd some 23 years ago, my youngest and his wife were in and shunned me but have faded over recent years and they have still never contacted me. I think it eases their conscience that they are on a moral high ground above me being dfd but they don't look at themselves. Lots of double standards

Just remember where you were taught the truth.

Ive been DF'd for about 20 years. A dear friend recently got DF'd for basically standing up to her husband. She contacted me right away but with the view of "I'm bringing Nick back into the truth". She probably could have won me over by just being my friend but she was dogged about it. Like I was her new project. Like her disfellowshipping would accomplish something. Can imagine what a Kudos to her that would have been to be the catalyst to bringing me back. All the parts we could have been in, at the meetings at the assemblies, maybe even in a watchtower article?! (Sarcasm implied). When she got reinstated she didn't even shoot me a text to let me know. In her defense, over all these years she would tell my mom to tell me that she loves me and misses me

To your question Patti, yes!!! The fringe witness now has a superior attitude because now you’re the weak witness! This give’s them “power” over you, it’s called “the spiritual narcissist!” Dr Ramani discusses this in one of her videos. Another aspect of JW’s she gets into is, “have you been love bombed by a communal narcissist?” Her work is amazing, I hope JW’s watch her videos, she exposes so much of JW narcissistic behavior!!! Love your videos!😍

It happened to me. The weird part is people that claimed not to believe and are now really into it.

YES!!! I've experienced the deceptive half-hearted jw. You're right the wt used the psy-abused, policed, persecuted, mistreated each otherrs the same way without anyone to go to for help and the wt being left without the appearance of blood on their hands. This violent behavior and others is also passed down and reinforced generationally. It's the nightmare that will never end.

yes if someone ever said to me oh we wont talk to you but we will see your children..it would be a big fat no......if my dad (who has never been a JW) for eg said to me I will have my grandchildren come and stay with me but I wont talk to you.....no my children are a package deal..if you want to talk/have a relationship with my children you talk to me as well

So true!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m so sorry. I could really hear the hurt in your voices.

Spot on.

Had you noticed ones who were really wild and disfellowshiped when young only then returned are so judgemental even accusing their kids of doing things when in fact are good kid's it's as if their minds always in the gutter. And if you dare mention they were worse at that age you are shut down immediately and told it's in the past and are now so wonderful it's as if their past has rewritten but other's have their past thrown up all the time. It just depends if they are in the right click. Sadly I've know some really good kid's gone wild because they parents were accusing them because they knew better so the kids think they may as well just do it

Just remember that although JWs claim to be under 'grace' rather than 'law', in reality of course they are not. So the whole faith is based on personal works, how good a person feels themselves to be, how good others see them as, and all that. So the entire self-image is built up on their own perceived goodness. So yes they feel morally superior because you have 'fallen away' whereas they haven't. But of course it's all an insecurity because no matter how good they feel, they are still deep down uncertain of whether they'll 'die at Armageddon' or not. No-one in the JWs is really secure in their 'salvation'.

I remember when I was fringe pimi in about 2010 Nicole and I shunned a good friend of ours in a clothing store and I remember the look of hurt and sadness in his eyes . I have tried to contact him on Facebook to apologize like Nicole and I he wasn,t a born in jw. Nicole baptised in 1992 aged 20 and I baptised in 1996 aged 35 .I confess I was a fringe pimi like Nicole and never did I confess my sins or anybody else's to the elders but I,d shun because I thought by doing so the shunned would return and I,d have them back as a friend. Here's a question Pat and Katie did you ever approach your former return visits or Bible studies and apologize for misleading them ? I visited some and they said they liked Nicole and I but always knew it was a cult they just were lonely and loved company how sad we use to be so fake with the lonely people in our territory. Yes I was a fringe dwelling pimi and shunned 100 % who am I to stand in between Jehovah,s loving discipline. Warm apostate love Pat and Katie, I,m addicted to your videos , should I join apostates anonymous and go to AA meetings ? Justin porter ex jw

You really do block a lot of things when you leave. Little things will trigger old memories though. I remember being taken out to a field to ride a donkey once 🤷🏽‍♂️

I say it's a natural reaction. I've seen people that were disfellowshipped becoming hardcore JWs. I think the shock of them being left in the lurch made them return fast and being extra grateful for their reinstatement. Some of them restart hard and never stop. And if that happened in their late teens or early twenties, the elders not just write it off as youth troubles but I think it improves their outlook in the minds of others. They basically become the underdog prodigal son successful case that naturally most people root for.

This actually new I only know one form of JW hate it was either from my upbringing with Jw sociopath step ma or a jealous brother who wants a sister and is making my life dificult for no reason.

Honestly , I am one in the fringe 😂😂😂😂😂. Like , I am the opposite

They're the same ones who come on our channels to make stupid comments and start fights 😆

Whats PIMI pls??😊

A girl I know she when to a home party and she was suprice to see sisters and brothers one couple at the time they go in to the bed room of the house to have sex. The rest of the group they dance and drink.

It's one thing to expose the infallible actions of, bygone Congregational Sheep, but could you please provide an answer, hopefully scriptural, on Men , Women & Childrens Future? I personally haven't given up on the Scriptural Hope for the Human Family.

From the Lord was this (this is referring to the chief cornerstone who is Jesus) , the word WAS is egeneto (made or came into being) - Matthew 21:42 and the exact Greek word used in John 1:3 - MADE, egeneto (came into being) - JESUS WAS MADE/CAME INTO BEING FROM THE FATHER , yes, Jesus was MADE/CREATED!, See also Acts 2:36, Heb 1:5, 1 john 5 Isa 9:6 the word Prince in the Prince of Peace means PATRON ANGEL also Leader. WHO IS the ONE LEADER that we have? Jesus. Now, that same exact Hebrew word was used for Daniel 12:1 which is used for Michael the Archangel. So are you saying there are MANY LEADERS now? JESUS IS LORD! His Lordship was MADE - See Acts 2. Who is the Sovereign Lord? He is different from Jesus as mentioned in Acts 4:24, 26, 30 There is no term God of gods or Creator or Maker used for Jesus.Acts 4:24 - who is NOT Jesus and who is called Sovereign Lord - "one accord to God and said: “Sovereign Lord, you are the One who made the heaven and the earth " Who is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from Jesus who is the Anointed and the Sovereign Lord's SERVANT as Acts 4:30 mentioned "through the name of YOUR holy servant Jesus.”" Acts 4:26 - one against Jehovah and against his ANOINTED one. GOD IS NOT A LITERAL TORTURER. GOD is LOVE. He only gives eternal life to those who exercise faith in him and his Son (John 3:16, John 14:1) and NOT TO WICKED people. The Wicked will VANISH AND WILL BE NO MORE. Psalms 37:20 How many is Jehovah? Trinitarians say there are THREE Jehovah. What does the Bible say? There is ONE JEHOVAH and NOT THREE JEHOVAH. Deut 6:4. - “Listen, O Israel: Jehovah our God is one Jehovah WHO IS THE STAR IN NUMBERS 24:17? That is Jesus. It is the same Hebrew word used in Job 38:7 for the morning stars. So as Jesus is called THE BRIGHT morning star (REV 22:16) so also are the other morning stars(angels). So Jesus is the CHIEF Angel with the archangel's voice (1 Thes 4:16). Jesus is called Prince of Peace in Isa 9:6 and the original Hebrew word for Prince means PATRON ANGEL which is the same Hebrew Word used for Michael the archangel in Daniel. Jesus is the High Priest and the High Priest is NOT GOD himself. GOD DOES NOT WORSHIP HIMSELF : John 4:22 -You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, because salvation begins with the Jews. Jesus Included himself IN WORSHIPPING THE FATHER. ONLY A CREATION WILL WORSHIP GOD. If the holy Spirit is a PERSON then now you have MANY PERSONS IN ONE GOD. REV 5:6 - seven eyes, and the eyes mean the seven spirits of God.SO NOW YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL SEVEN PERSONS IN GOD. Who is the cause of Salvation? Both GOD and the lamb are saviors, Rev 7:9-10, even Jesus needed to be saved by the Father from death as the Father is the SOURCE OF LIFE AND SALVATION , Hebrews 5:7 & John 5:26 - THE FATHER GAVE THE SON LIFE. Does the Bible called Jesus MADE AND BORN? Yes! JESUS is the Messiah and a CREATION BY GOD! He is called “BORN OF/FROM GOD”. (1 JOHN 5:18) Hebrews 1:5 showed that Jesus was MADE/BORN (orig Greek-gennaw). Also it says "he will become my son" Notice, FUTURE TENSE, WILL, so before that the SON DID NOT EXIST. If you are BORN AND MADE then you are a creation. , Hebrews 1:5 mentions I WILL BECOME HIS FATHER, so Jesus relationship with the Father has a BEGINNING, When ? it was TODAY. TODAY implies a beginning. When did Jesus become SON? Even before Jesus became human he is called SON , Prov 30:4 Was Jesus GIVEN LIFE? He is called the firstborn and beginning of the CREATION BY GOD (COL 1, Revelation ) Also john 5:26 mentions that the FATHER GAVE JESUS, THE SON, with LIFE. If Jesus was given LIFE OR EVEN ETERNAL LIFE, then Jesus does not have life or eternal life before those were given to him. Notice, the Father was NOT given life. JESUS was MADE LORD (ACTS 2:36).JOHN 6:57 - Jesus Said “ I LIVE BEC OF THE FATHER” SO JESUS’ LIFE was dependent on the Father and his SOURCE OF LIFE/Eternal Life IS THE FATHER as John 5:26 states as well. 1john 5:1 - Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born from God,+ and everyone who loves the one who caused to be born loves him who has been born from that one . who is this that HAS BEEN BORN from that one? That is Jesus! 1 John 5:18 - Jesus is called BORN FROM GOD JESUS IS BORN FROM GOD, 1 JOHN 5:18 - We know that everyone who has been born from God does not practice sin, but the one born from God* watches him, and the wicked one cannot take hold of him . WHO is the ONE BORN FROM GOD that watches us and protects us and who does not sin? JESUS CHRIST! HAS ANYONE SEEN GOD? NO MAN HAS SEEN GOD and if they see GOD's face THEY WILL DIE. Jesus was seen by many and they didn't DIE so Jesus Is Not The Almighty God. Jesus is called SON even before coming to earth as human. Exo 33:20 states "“You cannot see my face, for no man can see me and live.”" NO MAN CAN SEE ME, notice ME , you think ME IS NOT LITERAL? IT IS LITERAL "ME" WHO IS GOD. GOD IS FROM FOREVER: John 1:1 mentions the WORD WAS IN THE BEGINNING, so Jesus was LIMITED "IN THE BEGINNING" Unlike GOD who is FROM FOREVER (Psalms 90:2). Is "a god" a valid translation in John 1:1? Sahidic Coptic translation uses an indefinite article with the word “god” in the final part of John 1:1. The Greek used in the BIble does not have an indefinite article "a" so that's why you don't see the "a" in John 1:1, The Sahidic Coptic translation uses an indefinite article with the word “god” in the final part of John 1:1. again, john 1:1 about theos - Strong's Concordance theos: God, a god , so "a god" is a valid translation. "The NAS New Testament Greek Lexicon" defines theos as "a god" as well. so it is a valid translation. Also Thayer's Greek Lexicon also defines theos as "a god" so it is a valid translation Is Jesus the same as Jehovah? Jesus is the SON. Jehovah is Our FATHER (Isa 63:16). Even the trinity doctrine states the SON IS NOT THE FATHER, so Jesus is NOT JEHOVAH How many person is GOD? God said " I am God Almighty", The use of I am, means GOD is ONE PERSON. Do you use I am, me, myself, me alone for ONE LITERAL PERSON or THREE PERSONS? You only use those phrases for ONE literal person and NEVER FOR THREE PERSONS. Is Jesus described as a Morning Star like the Angels? Yes. Rev 22:16 - 16 “‘I, Jesus, sent my angel to bear witness to you about these things for the congregations. I am the root and the offspring of David+ and the bright morning star.’”+ JESUS IS THE BRIGHT MORNING STAR, Angels are also called morning stars in Job 38:7, so Jesus is the BRIGHT OR CHIEF OF THE ANGELS (archangel) as 1 Thessalonians 4:16 mentions. What does Firsborn means? So depending on the context the firstborn can be the chief, principal, or first in time or place or rank. Still though, when you use the firstborn with an OF, “firstborn OF”, because of the OF , that means the firstborn BELONGS TO THE GROUP, just like when you say firstborn of the sheep. The firstborn is a sheep. So Jesus belongs to the group of creation, firstborn of all creation. Does John 8:58 correlate with Exodus 3? In Exodus 3, GOD is called I WILL BECOME (not I am) and does not correlate with John 8:58 Word: DID Pronounce: haw-yaw Use: TWOT-491 Verb 1) to be, become, come to pass, exist, happen, fall out
 Jehovah is called GOD of gods, who are these gods? if you say that those are all false gods, then you are saying that GOD is like Satan as he is God of all false gods. Those gods exist, just like King of kings, those kings exist. Is Jehovah, GOD's name? Psalms 83:18. Strong's No.: H3068 Hebrew: יְהֹוָה Transliteration: Yᵉhôvâh Phonetic: yeh-ho-vaw'" and even the BIBLE mentions the God's followers containing his name. Jehoshaphat, jehu, etc. With all Jehovah, the God of the Bible. Yes. Jehovah is God in the Bible, the Our Father (JEHOVAH) ISA 63 AND WHO IS JAH , JEHOVAH that is WORTHY OF PRAISE AND GLORY! ISA 26:4 - 4 Trust in Jehovah forever,h For Jah* Jehovah is the eternal Rock. JEHOSHAPHAT(MATTHEW 1 :8) - Easton's Bible Dictionary Jehovah-judged. Easton's Bible Dictionary Jehovah-judged. Smith's Bible Dictionary Jehoshaphat - (whom Jehovah judges.) Yup, JEHOVAH is the name of GOD IN THE BIBLE as his followers have the name of Jehovah in their name.