They want you (but not a relationship) 

This is exactly it is. You nailed it. If someone truly likes and loves you, it's a no brainer.

You described the female mindset perfectly. You're only a placeholder until she thinks she has something better.

@@johnreed9050 men do this stop dont be naive and generally based on your bias please. Men are also guilty of this.

That's what I say.....In some cases they're looking to USE you until something better comes along.....all or nothing I say!

His last words to me [my decision]: 'I miss you. Well, I don't miss YOU - I miss what you do for me.' [he thought he was being funny] / [thank God he finally spit it out and, and 'we' didn't last for more than 10 months]

Say it again. Back to basics. No social media. No dating sites.

@@reesespieces450 YES. I secretly keep hoping the internet --- and that they take the "text" capability off 📱---- gets shut down cuz then it'll force these narcs 2 have remove themselves from the dating pool since they won't have a screen 💻 📱to hide behind. If someone wants to dump you --- they'll have to do it in person (or over the phone). They still could just not answer your calls anymore but at least they wouldn't have as much available supply on demand cuz of no internet, so they'll think twice. And no texting will FORCE people to have REAL voice2voice conversations instead on impersonal texts & tweets & them blocking 🚫 you right after they get the last word & so you can't respond cuz you told them that you're into their TRIFLIN' ass!!

@@dominiquedevereux7205 yupp!! SHUT IT ALL DOWN! Lol. Hope you're ok! 🙏🏼🙏🏼😊

@@dominiquedevereux7205 Narcs are the most pathetic creatures, i find! Right on Dominique!

💯

Amen! Clarity and self-love leads to better manifestation.

That's what I been going through I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel about love from a guy..I dont think it can happen for myself

Well said true

Men need to have some worth, and women need to stop thinking they have so much damn worth that the sun rises for them every day.

Same❤️❤️❤️ its very powerful feeling of self love

Yep.

Right on !

yeah no thanks

How do you know when they have showed you exactly?

dancingshepherdess ...... remember, its a “women’s prerogative to change her mind”........ its an excepted fact, love you today - hate you tomorrow.

Exactly

Sometimes. But sometimes people really do prefer being alone and not having any relationships, like loners.

Men want sex and fun. Sometimes they fall in love along the way. But operating from that default understanding helps.

Adrianna G tell me more about this they like me but they don't want to see me like every week only like one time a month or when I call then she will call me is it because she is older then me 72 year's older then me what should I do about that can you tell me I like to know tell me

so what do I do I feel like I had a good time and she did to we go out to eat we talked I don't want to make her feel like over her I feel good she calls not all the time so you can't all ways have what you want but yet you can

no thanks

Can you blame them?

So is "No".

That one is dangerous. That needs a context.

Silence is cruel

@@annarichardson8284 No is honest . Silence is cruel and immature.

Doing this now .. such a toxic thing I’m done

G. S. Not really

G. S. This is a very black and white view of life...In reality people get involved with each other for a vast amount of reasons, not all of them very clear or obvious, even to themselves.. That’s why you need to know what you want, be clear about yourself and let those who are looking for the same thing to find you

@@yvaz3373 sadly men have become like that. It's proved by society and their behavior and the sad reality of many women who have met many men like that. And therefore its a fact even though it's not the whole truth because in the end, I have heard they too will suffer the consequences of this behavior in one way or another. Allegedly you reap what you sow eventually. And I hope it will be a lesson to everybody because just hurts to lie

Relationship = his credit card?

@@yvaz3373 "Find you". How does that work, and does it work with money too?.

Noelle, same.

Why? How have your past "relationships" gone?

I will hide the kids and the food is I ever have the bad luck to meet you.

don't waste your time, get a cat... start with one...

So you don't any male friends?

Richard S men don’t do that to women. If he has options he will sleep with her and move on. Women friend zone men. That way they still get attention and affirmation and dinner bought for them. U have it completely backwards.

@@jaymgtow3031 both do it, pal.

@@jaymgtow3031 No, he has it right. It happens to both sexes. People are assholes sometimes and it doesn't matter what gender they are. Now, I'd agree women try to do it to men FAR more often, but it absolutely does happen to both genders (and yes, there are only 2 ;) ).

@@jaymgtow3031 this is bs! I get friend zoned by men ALL the time. Men do friend zone women.

I said that to my BF,, and it worked. Sometimes we're fckng so tired over our relationships,, we fight alot,, to much emotions,, but we don't want to lose each other. I'm possesive,, we had history about my bf litterally started relationships with me by cheating with me,, and it hurt me a lot. And after that,, we still working with our relationships,, but I become a very possesive partner during our relationship. I worried to much,, I wanted to walk away because I was afraid to be a toxic person because of my trauma. He kept asking for chances. But everytime we fought about "anything happens in my mind",, he wanted to stop anything romantic with me,, but still he wanted me to stay as his bestfriend. I rejected that,, and I said I am willing to walk away and I won't ever be his friend anytime our relationship ended. And he chose to stay in relationships until now.

AMEN to that. Exactly!

hard pill to swallow but true

@@sincerelysophiak Easy pill to swallow. Hard is wasting your life with someone who never loved you.

@@CrystalDatingCoach exact

Or they could be healing and don’t want to hurt anyone anymore..

Well I should have read comments before posting that much. I believe most of us agree on the topic

Thank you for your honesty.

Appreciate this. It’s real talk 💓

i agree, just happened to me. the moment she had me hooked she was off with another. cant say i wish them bad. but at least i know she wasnt going to be a keeper.

I think that is really cool you putting this. I appreciate a guys take on things like this, so helpful thank you

Yes, thank you...next.

Thank you! That is a major time saver.

Which leads to a big fun court date when the babies come.

ill be the exception, having been married twice and single for going on 20. i believe we get pickier considering another legal raping. i do have standards my values are high but not unrealistic.

The sad truth is, he probabley did want a relationship but is to risky with the prospect of daddy goverment getting invovled.

Malachor8091 exactly, never go for potential. He was upfront and honest. She should filter better if she’s only looking for a relationship.

True..at least he did not lie

Exactly

How does a person even know if they want a relationship before they develop feelings for someone specific? I'm not sure everyone should be taking the "no relationship" declaration so seriously. Things can change as you get to know someone. I fell in love with my partner by complete accident, when I had been 100% positive I didn't want a serious relationship.

And you are correct because it "FEELS" like something is connecting. And it is.....for you. But I heard a man say, "sex is sex" to a man without getting emotionally attached. It's hard that they walk away when it's finished, and do a disappearing act. But come back around when to refuel and your mind say "they came back to me", no they came back to be in between your knees.

there are more "female fish" in the sea than there are "men fish", so go figure....

I thought we were bikes?

@@ismeltitdeltit9354 No, we were fish. A man needs a woman like a fish needs a shark.

That’s an old myth the plenty of fish in the sea. Some people like to spread eagle for anyone who is genuinely in love with them, br some have more self respect to say one person, even if it ends badly, is enough.

That's the best advice.

And so sad when they let their past wounds stop them from moving forward.

Yes 😞

Man, it seems like everyone knows it.. but it's so hard to implement. If I like and want a man I can't wait for his commitment.. especially when I am 29. We are adults and we have our needs .. and to hold oneself back for 3-6 months or I don't know how long the commitment takes.. how is it possible?

Dee Andrews I agree with this! I will not have sex until I know the man I’m talking to is serious with me and we are committed. Sleeping with them so early on makes things blurry and your judgement is fucked because you think because you slept together that you are exclusive when the guy could be emotionally “elsewhere” and not on the same page as you

What if it turns out the sex is boring?

@Vitalina Dombrovska : Redirect your sexual energies to other more beneficial activities such as: exercise, meditation, reading or research (for leisure purposes), creative/artistic hobbies, housework and/or cooking, or other enjoyable leisure activities. It’s hard to resist sexual attraction, particularly early in a relationship with good chemistry, but it CAN be done and it IS worth it. It frees you to know and appreciate each other as people and to determine if you want a future together.

Dee Andrews Unfortunately a man can lie for as long as necessary to get what HE wants!

@Pickel Sandwich pickle sandwich, if a man isn't direct and honest with me.....im going directly and honestly to his mother, because she will hear it directly and honestly from me. The direct and honest approach has always worked for me. So YOU are WRONG.

@Pickel Sandwich pickle sandwich I've been married 3 times. My first husband made promises to me that when I confronted him later about what he said to me, he told me he never said anything like that. I divorced him. The other marriages were just stupid- my stupidity. The relationship I thought I had recently, I have been ghosted ghosted by him. He just disappeared. So what I'm saying is, I think you might be right.

@Pickel Sandwich I read your comment, let me appologize for my stupidity. I have a lot to say.....but I won't. I commend you for being married for that long.

@Pickel Sandwich may I continue with something else?? The boyfriend I had recently ghosted me. Now, as stupid as this is going to read, I like my boss. I don't think he knows.

@Pickel Sandwich no my boss is as single as I am. When he "plays" I like it. But then he brings up his "girl" who's getting out , and that puts a damper On it.

Same..but he never said he didn't...he was always throwing mixed signals...saying the right things I wanted to hear BUT doing the wrong things and ghosting me every 3-6 months. Until I walked away 'with my heart in pieces'. After the last ghosting from him I went no contact. 1.1/2 years he wasted my time and obviously he lied. His words never matched his actions. His love never turned into a public & committed relationship. 💔 No reason why ..he just ghosted..gone. 😏

Sorry to hear, it is tough. What suffered the most was my self esteem. I started running and it's helped me a lot.

@@monp.4903 Absolutely! my self esteem and my self identity. As easily as he entered my life as easily as he exited. As if " we" never happened. My heart literally hurted from the physical and emotional pain i felt sick when he ghosted and discarded me for no reason no explanation no closure. I trust less now and try to keep everyone as friends only minus the emotional & physical intimacy. 2 years of heartache and 6 months of depression due to ghosted for no apparent reason... I stay happy now thru my friends family hobbies and job.😊

Why is this so common? Ugh

@@tumbleina49 Because human nature is not monogamous. A human can open his/her heart to people, or close his/her heart to people in general. It doesn't work when someone want him (or her) to only open his heart for her, but not for others. It is physically impossible. Those who really love, with open heart, know that they would feel imprisoned when they are forced to not to love other women/men. Who is the source of this imprisonement? The one that wants to close his heart for the world and lock it for themselves.

Julie, that's your issue. "Wasted time". So you decided not to date other guys while dating him (mistake). And the guy was not a person, but just a waste of time.

Feeling sad right now. He made me fall then just wants me as a friend

Yes big time

More and more men are setting boundaries and most women don't like losing their carte blanche.

@@crimestoppers1877 yes you can..

Arthur Cribben lol oh hell no

@@maxhouse2409 👏👏

Who are you to judge? I rejected someone who I wanted to be with 100% and who likewise wanted me because I had better options and I didn't have to settle.

Same here! I also need that simple line to clear things up.

He will tell me: yes but I want to take it slow... months go by and nothing changes

Great analogy!

VERY good one. I'll remember that.

Excellent analogy! Keeping that. Thanks!

THIS

I ain't buying what you're selling.

Right but watching a video about relationships.

Right! Keep on fooling yourself.

And why are you here get lost

Calm down baby. Don’t get your panties in a bunch!😂

Aww. That's really sweet

@NINJAGUAR Go take a nap baby you're getting grumpy.

Wonderful comment 😍

what do you need in a relationship?

I'm dealing with a girl that I want a relationship with, she is not interested just sex and it hurts I love her and want to share my time with her not just sexually.

Maybe you should improve yourself. I'm a dude. Stop blaming us for your shortcomings.

Please - what do you bring to the relationship besides your body? Brains? A well paying job? A partnership in the dream or just someone who hangs out waiting to be entertained?

More than likely your life story is missing the part where all those good guys who tried to get with you and you were busy with the bad boys and now your getting older and the bad boys don't want you anymore so you are now telling the suddenly "good" men how they can now be allowed to serve you and they want that opportunity about as much you wanted them in you best years.

Anna Richardson,good of you

thank you Lisa

In many cases, that means dropping your selection criteria. A lot of women (and men too!) think they are 7s, 8s or 9s, when in fact, they are 2s, 3s or 4s. The marketplace will determine your number, whether you are a woman or a man. So if attracting Brad Pitt or a chubby Brad Pitt isn't working, that means you're aiming too high and need to focus on Bob the 60 year old in the mailroom who lives with his mother. Jus' sayin'.

Thank you for telling me this. yay!!

Or he is waiting for someone better.

@@EmilyGloeggler7984 ill go with alain

@@EmilyGloeggler7984 If someone is 'getting involved in a serious relationship/love/marriage/etc', there is no more thought to be given to 'someone better', because that stage is supposed to be OVER. There should be no 'competition' for ones interest from outside the couple that either within the couple pay attention to. You have given/shared/entrusted your life to another person. Is there 'someone better'? Of course. There will always be. So? You made your pick (it's called 'settling' and requires 'maturity' which is a word that upsets the immature in both male and females, much like the word 'patience', just someone saying those words makes immature people cringe), and in life,..if you expect to be viewed as stable or genuine/authentic/real, you have to stick to and stand behind the choices you have made. Short of abuse/etc,...you don't up and change your mind because you get 'bored' while in a committed a relationship. You 'can' if you choose, but the natural response by society (the mature males/females one might want to be taken serious by) will be one of distrust as a result. That is called being 'mature' (which I am sure we all know). Can someone change their mind,...sure. But you can't just 'change your character', and if you knew their character or your own, (which means actually knowing who they are as a person) you wouldn't need to be able to read their mind (knowing if they were going to change their mind),....nor would they need to read yours.

Exactly...I already dodged 3 bullets. After that,they're all bullets.

And take 1/2 of his shite. Haha

Stories like this get me everytime you were a WHOLE GF and he expected you to go backwards why again... like are these men crazy... did you think through that proposition like CMON 🤦🏿‍♀️and just the sheer audacity. Im sorry you went through that 💕

Yes that's what my mom said also.

6 months is too long...it really should be 3 months..even that's too long with time wasters. Friend zone them in 3 weeks if they seem "lost or bewildered" I should've done so in my case. Looking back it was all his way, one sided,giving him too many options & too many chances, too much benefit of the doubt. His heart was a stone wall. No emotions, no ties. Waited 1.5 years for him to decide. 😍 Let him go, for ur own sake. Those guys will find their own way in life.

Hi Therel Not all men. Some of us actually want to settle down.

Hi Therel I feel like you have to take them for their word. If they mention it then take it and run!! All there is to it it sucks but yea

Why buy a cow when the milk is free?

I want one. Men have to worry about all this alpha beta crap 🤣 Just be you. Take it or leave it.

@@robertobonafe8615 You mean it's free to milk the cows. Mooooo

I love your share, Victoria. Thank you

No, no and no. Men also need emotional reassurance sometimes becomes as a Male empath I long for a woman who can push aside her pride for a man who wants emotional support as well from the woman he loves. This is so very mistaken for emotional immaturity and men are pushed away from loving relationships. I had my shit together and had worked a long time previously to heal emotional wounds and past traumas. EVERYONE HAS A LOW POINT NOW AND THEN. When your partner cant even support you on your lowest days then they definitely dont deserve a man who did the same for her on her lowest and offered to help anyway he could when she was feeling down. I was pushed away for making her feel inferior and told I was too sensitive and to find a younger more immature woman. I walked right out the door and took my heart back with me. Bought her groceries still for the month before I left. Never again, choosing myself and to further bathe in self love.

Very very wrong way of going about someones silence. If you cant understand someones silence then you fail. Period.

@@crimestoppers1877 I've seen this complex before. Narcissist is always right. Not worth discussing anything further with you. You're a dead end.

Very true I guess, I'll stay alone then instead of having to beg and try to fulfill irrational conditions so a woman can feel secure in society. Sad when I dont ever ask or have conditions to love someone. So yes I Men are throw a ways.

yeah and he's too selfish to be by his side. He wants her only for his gratification. And it's her responsabiity if she allows it

Yes. That’s what they told me. They didn’t want the expectations. They didn’t value their own life anyway so it all makes sense.

That is beautiful. Thank you for sharing, Luis!

💯

Good for you, your children's sake.

@@kevinmalone3210 thank you💙

Good one telling him no

Should have found a good partner in your 20’s. A lot of women at that age think all the male attention they get will last forever so they never bother or care. Then they end up like you with a ton of regrets, reality hits them hard. Men in their 30’s-40’s are highly desirable esp when they are established in a good career. Dating had been so easy for me in my 30’s compared to my 20’s... I was like a ghost to these girls who thought they were too hot for me; now I’m married and have kids and they can’t even find a guy who bothers to stick around for longer than a couple of months. I still see them on Facebook posts hitting up the clubs like they are 24 years old, desperately trying to find love. It’s so cringe. Karma is great 😁.

@@Dan-Martin You're right, now it's too late.

Hi Kate I'm here for you

Omg that's the truth!! Amen

🤦🏻‍♂️ worst advice.. guys will just lose respect and go for another woman.. you are faking that you have other things to do.. you just screen guys not well enough and fall for dudes who only want your body. Which probably means you go for shallow dudes.. which could also imply that you are shallow and maybe only good for 1 thing. smh🤦🏻‍♂️

Oh yeah, play games and be disingenuous. See where that gets you.

first let him pay en spend alot off money. then tell him to f off right?. thats women today. so no thanks

@@PsychokoreUndergroundRap When they lose respect, because you do not want to go to their private place, for obvious reasons... There are not even worth to go further with. Men try. Women need to push back. Normal men respect that and value that. If not. Run... A lot of men try or test women to try to lay her flat as quick as possible. A woman needs to push back and show him, that the things between her legs are hers. And that this 'hers' is protected. And also, she has to protect her whole existence. Going slow is the key here. Build mutual trust and bonding and see if you even like eachother. After 3 months, it should be clear, if you are a good healthy, positive match. Men, who do not understand why...are fools. Avoid fools. Because they will be fools in a relationship too and bring you only misery. Let them choose somebody else, who does not know yet what to do. But never go to his house or yours... ( to chill? ). Go out. Plenty public places to go... Kind regards.

We want what we can't have sad to say but once a girl loses interest in me or finds someone else that's when I lose it and want her bad lol by then I'm blocked and cut of from all communication. Thats why I'm always in love with a woman I'll never see again. when another woman is interested in me I'm not because I'm secretly in love until she does the same and loses interest in me then I'm in love with her😊

@@derekkase7884 pathetic.

Helena asdg ghosting means they don’t like you enough. Period. Ghosting never happens if a guy is into you.

@@donnaking3344 Sometimes it happens if a woman puts up too many barriers to entry. Like... I can't put all my energy into you. lol

Why not?

Because these guys chase us and then flip the script later

Molebogeng Seshoka Facts. Then we spend time wondering what happened?/Is happening? If you see luke warm/cool, ghosting, mixed messages, irratic silences, etc and it doesn't feel good, keep it moving. NEXT!....

@@no_prisoners6474 exactly.

@@no_prisoners6474 So true!

Cheryl Cuttineau,Hi beautiful 👍

Poor you. lol

i think you did the right thing you say you want different things

hello

@@Andromeda_M31 exactly. That's shy it's good to date not necessarily sleep with more than 1 guy at a time.

Same happened to me...But he would string me along for another 6 months... Gave me more mixed signals...saying we ARE in a relationship...and that... he DOES want relationship but behaving like he DIDN'T want 1 at same time!! Was Soo Confusing. Then someone random online told me THE bombshell I didn't know & I didn't realise....( cos he kept stringing with me along obviously playing his game sooo well ) "He is NOT in love with you" ...it woke me up out of this nightmare. Really he LIED to me...I broke it off finally . DONE & DUSTED.

You gave up the goods for six months, then expected x a love match. lol

Yeah, I’ve learned I wanted something more than just a booty call if I really like a person.

Guys with the goods women want don't have to wait... We choose.

Ha ha ha ha ! ! Guru !!!

Everybody cheats nowadays.

He likely IS higher status

Hope you are doing better now. I can relate to you. I know that feeling.

Okay, have a nice life

I’m so sorry you went through that. Many of us have been where you were - waiting for validation and/or closure. I hope you gave yourself both of those things even if he didn’t. Make your peace with it, accept this new reality, and face the future with hope and renewed confidence that you did the right thing. You 100% did!

@Copypastable Wow, she isn't "strong arming" him. She's dating someone and wants to know if they are on the same page about the future of the relationship. Sounds like they aren't but he could at least show her the decency of a reply. She will move on. Try hating on women a little less. She's not the one being unreasonable here. And a lot of us make our own money and don't need yours. Misogyny leaves a particular odor, bro.

Perhaps he wants sex in return for as little effort as possible on his part.

Audrey J,You deserve a better man!

Wow! That's a statement. 4,5 years he always came back and surprised me with advanced manipulations. Well the great sex is never a reason for a relationship.

Hi hun u r amazing and beautiful would u like visit me u r welcome Egypt Luxor city am tour guide single and looking for honest love 00201003691748 whats apo

Rebbecca, you're so beautiful ❤and I will be glad to know you

Rebecca Russell,You deserve a better man!

Hi, is nice to meet you

Thank you

Susan Winter PLEASE forgive me!!! I made my comment at lunch today and didn't realize until now that my ph "autocorrected" ur name and changed it to Sharon. 😬🤦🏼‍♀️ Thank u for being so gracious about it as I'm quite sure u noticed. Another reason why ur so great...lol add it to the list. 🌬🙏🏻💗☺️💐

Great to read this... truly.

Me toooo

Hi, is nice to meet you