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I feel like the reason I respect your content more than other “pro women” dating coaches is because i feel you’re actually trying to help make the relationship last for the right reasons rather than trying to give audience reasons to end the relationships. It tells me that you’re not the type that tells the intended audience what they want to hear
Love this comment. His content is always relevant and always sincere. Never woman hating generalizations based on limited experience but based on his counselling sessions and a genuine desire to help.
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+:2:3:4:9:1:3:0:0:5:4:0:8:7: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here..
I feel ya regarding that Jesus is your husband. One of my favorite preachers, Bishop Noel Jones said, "Jesus is not your husband, He is Jesus". Women need to stop saying that. He is Jesus, our Lord and Jesus Christ, and stop comparing Him to a man imj!
Never marry a man that loves you more. I was 22 and desperately looking for love (Daddy/Mommy issues) so I married the first guy that I thought really loved me. Fast forward 11 years I’m going through the worse divorce with 2 kids and dealing with a abusive psycho who doesn’t want to let me or the idea of me go. It’s frustrating but even though I didn’t chose him solely based on him loving me more on purpose, I wish I can go back and see how possessive and controlling he was masking it as love dealing with trauma and mental illness of his own. Now I’m 34 and learning to love myself and let love grow organically and not out of desperation.
When you said let love💖 grow organically I felt it truly in my spirit😊 as a woman I have failed in the love department chasing fool's gold as Ms. Jill Scott sang😌. I am learning to love myself and not rush into courting or relationship with some of these ungreat pretenders🤷🏾♀️ the spirit of brokenness is on the rampage. Blessings to you🙏🏾 and your situation may God heal all of us.
I agree. Any person loving someone else more than the love they have for themselves is definitely unhealthy and unfair. It's putting the other person on a pedestal. Just because he is a man does not make it his responsibility or obligation to automatically have more love for a female. It has to be a fair playing field. So, at the end of the day have lots of unconditional self-love, and by the time you meet someone, you won't have the belief that you need to constantly have validation or praise from him just to make you feel better about your very being. You should already be equipped with your own confidence and self-love.
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Well explained, I think that having that mindset of “I am the prize “is very selfish! We really need to get far away from these types of mindsets. It’s just easier to treat people like we want to be treated. Love this message!!! Always positive!!
And it actually keeps women stuck because all prizes aren’t the same. There are first-place, second-place, third-place, and fourth-place prizes. No one wants any prize but first-place. Most men chase who they deem to be a first-place prize (feminine, fit, beautiful, smart, etc) and only settle for second-place when they can’t have first-place. That leaves some women single (who may not want to be), because most women want the men who chase first-place prizes. It’s such a conundrum, which is why we shouldn’t perpetuate ideas just because they sound good because they do more harm Than good.
@@InspiredUno Well every man is different. We all have our different types...and we may value some things over others. But yeah, overall I hear ya. You're right.
“A man who loves you more than you love him” I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT TOO!!!!! Men deserve love just as much as we do as women. I will never want to give my man less than what he gives me.
#1 is so true. Married the "safe" man and 17 years later ended in heartbreak for both of us and our kids. We're friends now, but I'll never settle again.
You didn't settle he was the best u could do. Real settling is when u have a lot of options ( actual marriage proposals) and u picked the one u liked the most.
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Every video I’ve been watching you Are so right. You remind me of when I was young growing up that’s exactly how we used to do it every advice you’ve been giving is just so beautiful.
The first advice is something I used to hear a lot in varsity. Honestly, to me it didn't sound realistic cause love cannot be quantified. It is insane that I have to lower down the intensity of my love for someone like as of I'm a stove just to have him love me more. Totally didn't make sense.
Very interesting. I feel that in my past relationships the men thought the were better than me by the things they would say. I am working on myself right now. Obviously I'm choosing wrong but not anymore. I'm ok saying goodbye.
Thank you for sharing. Healing is definitely key and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and receive the man who is truly best for you!
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A man truly in love with you will love you more automatically. A man is able to love stronger especially if he is operating in his masculine. A man desires respect more than love. A woman will follow suit and reverence him when she is able to rest in her feminine 🥰
@@teki8130 That doesn’t answer the question. Looking at your pic, I’m probably at least 10 yrs. older than you. A person may be more or less expressive with their feelings. They may feel more or less safe to be vulnerable. None of this means they love you more or less. You can’t quantify it because the expression of love is different for different people.
I have been watching your videos for a while.Am from Africa ,Uganda and you have helped me find the courage to move on from a toxic relationship,thank you.
I think, dating these days is complicated. Even if it should be easier with the whole technique. Nobody shows his TRUE self, all are playing, have numerous other "Iron in the fire". That's my experience. Plus all the Narcs and Psychos... I'm waiting for a miracle..😉😂✌🏻
+:2:3:4:9:1:3:0:0:5:4:0:8:7: whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here..
When it comes to time healing all wounds, going to the RIGHT therapist helps. Not all therapist are knowledgeable enough to get to the root of all issues. Not all therapists know what you need unless you tell them. Before you seek a therapist, ask yourself questions about your behavior, write down the issues in your life from birth to now. It's a self analysis of where you have been, where you are at and where you are going. You have to do a lot of work before you, yourself know what the deep rooted issues are as to why of things? When you don't know the answer, that is the issue you need to explore with the therapist. I've gone to many therapist and none of them have helped me the way the last 2 have. I would've stayed with the one that was helping me unfortunately, life happens and couldn't continue, but he was a good one. After him, I learned to go deep within and now I'm working through the root of each issue individually. Hope this helps for anyone who needs therapy.
When I first started watching your videos I felt so angry with your advice but I couldn’t stop watching. Truthfully you are by far the most intelligent and gifted relationships advisor on RU-vid. My respect for you has grown so much. Thank you for throwing out gold nuggets of wisdom for people like me who truly want love. You’re amazing!
Healthy is being healthy enough to love yourself first, and then opening your heart to live a loving life and a relationship that you can build and share my love for the one that my heart falls in love with.
❤ 🙂 Thank you. It's a mixture of my own experiences, studying/reading books, learning from helping other people, but most importantly getting closer to God and trusting Him to lead my spirit.
I have been there in my own things, then I remembered you saying.. that crook, he won't leave even if you abuse him and do whatever, that shit resonates. Until you yourself say, I won't be used anymore. Truly those guys who are only playing games will never leave. They create this environment where they don't care what you do for as long as you still allow to be played. To give him some. Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.. life's not fair. Thank you for teaching. This particular video is really a master piece.
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You can't take dating advice from miserable Debbie Downer . You and your partner should create your own road map, block out that outside noise and keep it moving. Thank you for another great video . Have a wonderful day and Blessings.
I agree with BS tips BUT honestly....men these days are Just Plain Disappointing. They need to be strapped down and forced to watch Hallmark romantic movies.....where men have jobs, a place to live and hold Jimmy Stewart as a role model 💜💜💜💜
Yes i agree. I tried to connect with 3 guys through an on line dating site (during different times) during last year were weirdos and also wanted me to chase them right away. I will continue to pray for a guy that matches my beautiful and loving spirit!!
I’ve been told this by older women my entire life, and it never jived with me either. But I felt like I was being selfish for wanting more - so it kept me in some bad relationships for far too long. Thank you for this wisdom 🙏
So true especially the ‘let then chase you part’. Put yourself in their shoes girlfriend. If he kept on rejecting you - you would give up because you would feel hurt and rejected if you cared x
You are absolutely right about the ones who keep coming back! There is no emotional attachment what so ever! I'm at a place where I wiped all of those jokers out of my life. Thank God for GROWTH!
Find a Man (Man-Boy) who loves you more than you love him.. I was younger... Heard it from an older relative... Did it... I was Miserable 🤦🏽♀️ Created blessings of children. Lasted 17 Year's... Poor Advice... Please! DON'T DO IT... Know your worth 💯 I was seeing a therapist for a while towards the ending of the relationship, building the confidence to exit the relationship... Currently just began seeing a Therapist/PTSD Therapist at that.. After being single now for 4 Year's, finally adding to my self-care & moving forward ⏩ in positivity... - I sincerely appreciate your videos and take heed to all informative information that you deliver... - Been single now for quite some time, continuing to work on bringing all guards down, while at the same time being cautious not to allow myself to entertain any foolishness... - I loved us both enough to end it & walk away...... - Had to.. - PUTTING IN THE WORK 🙌🏾
It appears someone is replying to us with a fake you tube account...referring to a whatsapp number. Seems to be you, but the profile pic has a red ring around it.
“I have chased you this whole time, now where is my reward”. 🗣🗣🗣 My God! If that one didn’t hit home. My story. Chased me for 10 years, got me, and expected me to bow down. When I wouldn’t, he was furious!
I thought is better for having a balancing relationship between you and your partner (em... I can't find the right word to describe it, but I don't mean to target anyone). Like I rather stay single unless I find someone interesting and I'm comfortable to talk to to build a relationship. Maybe takes a longer time, but is better because everything is a lesson and challenge for us to learn. Wounds... I don't know how many people are using the outdated method that they learned for their therapist. I'm not claiming they are bad but I believe we should keep trying to improve the method and look within ourselves. So yeah I know it is tough because emotions is one of the most interesting things that most of us don't understand ourselves well. And I know it's hard but I think the most important thing is to forgive ourselves and love ourselves before anything.
@@Lastdayone every man that I ended up dating chased me for AT LEAST 6 months except my son's father (I chose him and we dated for three years before having sex). All but one of them is still in my life and could be an option to settle down with to this very day.
Chasing vs pursuing are two different things. If he is Chasing you, it means you're running away from him and he is being insistent. No good man wants to do that. Pursuing and showing interest is completely different and would be okay for a man to do for 6 months or more.
Not chase. Nothing good will come out of chasing plus it means the woman is acting up !!!! More so it should be that a man PERSUES the woman. Different words.
@@lobi5104 just said the same thing ... who wanna chase anything seriously?! 😒 women out here are delusional lol ... men should be pursuing women not chasing and if he is then don't be caught lol
I just want to take the time to say I truly appreciate you and your content. In a world where women and men are hurting and going against each other, you give honest, yet loving advice for both parties to be in HEALTHY relationships. That truly warms my soul in this day and age. So, I want to say from the bottom of my heart, Thank You.
17:42 what if you guys have different viewpoints on what effort is? And chasing? Sometimes, he may think he’s putting in effort, but it doesn’t look like effort to the woman, and vise versa…
Yep. That #1 dating advice led me to a dysfunctional relationship🙃 The man who loves me more ended up cheating on me because I couldn't pour back into him😞💔
Hi good blessed morning. Great tips. . i wish you could do a video about, how to maneuver during "the wait" as far as for the ppl who believe God shown them who their hubby/wifey is. Should you chill or still date until that person is ready, do you tell the person or tell anyone or just keep it to yourself?? What should one do next?..
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Good behavior is not a reward, it is a standard. This whole tolerate my worst to get my best is BS. If you love someone you will want to give them your best.
Super Facts on the chasing thing. I know you keep saying it...and I ain't mad at that. Sometimes you gotta keep drilling it in these women heads...cause some are unfortunately deluded to these facts. Just give me a good healthy mutually beneficial relationship where we both show each other love....no game playing At All. I know it may not be as simple as that all the time with women...cause there attraction isn't as linear and as simple as men's attraction. But still...
@brittany B so true!! Right now if it aint my kids, traveling and starting up my business...im cool on it..and when the time comes maybe ill be ready to go back into the world of dating. Right now I cant even deal!
This video is a major trigger. The portion about unbalanced love hits hard when you couldn't see it primarily. When you're unhealed, it's hard to see clearly. Good thing is my husband and I both Learn and grow from one another. My twin flame journey has mirrored back to me that I chose my husband because he was a safer option who is the status quo in society. He's such a beautiful person but it is unbalanced. I guess his treatment swept me off my feet initially and I could tell. I wasn't used to being treated like a queen.
Well said 👏 I think I was in a relationship where I loved and valued him much more than he loved and valued me that's why I left him, and now I am in the healing process, I will continue to listen to your coaching you have helped me alot Stephan thank you
Take me as I am.'Is my favorite joke.I love women with guts.The guts to get help.'Chase me' is number 2.What if theres nothing to chase?What if the bait sucks?At 41.Im weird to women because Im not a statistic.I dont have kids,divorce,and I love the Lord.According to HIS standards.
Stephen, I have this guy friend asking me if I want have friendship plus some benifits. Do you have a video on this Topic?? So far, I told him No , Im not that type of person. We can be friends with No Sexual benifits and favors.
Yes, I have 3 Reasons You SHOULD NOT Be Friends With Benefits 💘 | FWB you can check it out here 👉👉 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-1_6oqB7fO5o.html 👈👈
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Going to watch it now. I should Cut him off as a Friend?? Coz, his Frame of mind is always going to want this type Friendship with Benifits He asked me if what I want is an Ordinary Friendship ? I said Yes. Whats These Type of Peoples Purpose to Get their Cake and Eat it too as Only Friends??
Well said 👏 I think I was in a relationship where I loved and valued him much more than he loved and valued me that's why I left him, and now I am in the healing process, I will continue to listen to your coaching you have helped me alot Stephan thank you
Hey Stephan, your video on rebound relationships helped me a lot. I left a relationship of 1 year because I still wasn’t over my older, 4 year one. Can you advice on young men wanting find peace in being single without having casual sex?
One of the best pieces of dating advice I have ever heard!!! Especially the chasing bit! How many tortured years have many of us lived because of that!
Stephanspeaksrelationships I'm just gone say you said a revelatory confirming Mouthful today. I mean what I'm about to say in a good way." Babyyy I'm done with you for Today, the Spirit of the Lord had you on a roll. Truth as always, and as always blessing those willing to receive. I don't want not another holy ghost second of you🤣😂💯🙏🙌Thanks again you're such a blessing in more ways than one!
For coaching and more visit my site www.stephanspeaks.com/ or ❤️ Join my FREE text community. Text "LOVE" to 770-373-4246 or click here 👉 my.community.com/stephanspeaks
I appreciate your advice videos. I have to agree that I’ve been hiding behind Jesus as my husband or man for quite some time. I’m a Christian and I’ve been through some painful times. Also I don’t know if I’ll ever be on the dating app bandwagon. It’s just not something I’m comfortable with. Fear of rejection?, perhaps. Also I’m battling stage 4 MBC for 7 years now. So honestly not sure if I’ll ever have a relationship again. Don’t know too many men that would stick around with someone who’s terminally ill. Anyway I think your advice is spot on. God Bless You always 🙏🏼🍃🕊
When you say people should not "take me flaws and all"...what if you have been in a relationship for over 2 years that were great until COVID hit and needing endometriosis surgery? My physical and mental health took a nosedive and my bf abandoned me before I could get my medication figured out. He was "tired of being my nurse"... now, a few months after him abanding me, I am doing amazing both mentally and physically. He could have been there for me during my transition... but no, he said I was too negative and no fun to be around.
I do know how to cook !!!! i need to improve on that !!! and become more feminine !!! so used to be a boss and i automatically has masculinity!! Ooh God help!!!
