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It's crazy that she's trying to explain herself considering that she was cheated on in another relationship prior. Girl you already know how this feels, what are you doing 😭
Exactly what I was thinking. Seems like they both learned a lot about themselves through their relationship. Breakups obvi aren't fun (considering her saying she felt destroyed) but they both appreciate the time they had together - I love that :')
Idk, I think just look chill but there’s that saying “The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy.” He seems very avoidant and neglecting which in my opinion, hurts more than someone being angry. At least with anger or other feelings you know they care. That’s why I think this one was one of the worst. Edit: some people disagreed it was "one of the worst" and I guess I'd put it on the same level as many of the others. I just subjectively don't think it's better.
Good timing, laying groundwork, naivety, low self esteem and a large dose of manipulation. He was lucky, put in the work and manipulated the hell out of a naive girl with low self esteem. And not real work, or good work, but it does take time and effort to bend someone like he did.
@@bararobberbaron859 Attractiveness doesn't equal value in a relationship. Luna is very good looking yes, but that doesn't mean she wasn't equally as bad of a partner as Dane just in different ways. Can great people who are great looking be manipulated into relationships? Sometimes, yes. Most of the time it's just two equally weird people being equally weird to each other however. The attraction bias in this comment section for their relationship is fucking wild lol. Every other comment is shitting on this guy for his looks and that it must 100% be his fault simply because Luna is attractive and is wearing a skin tight dress. It's even crazier because if Dane was the attractive one and she was unattractive you would still claim it's manipulation because he used his "good looks" to swindle her in to a relationship that she would still have to agree to enter. If you watched this video and didn't pick up on the fact that she's not a great partner either I would highly suggest you recap her answers with the full context of their relationship and look deeper than "she is pretty and I think he's ugly".
We should show this to incels who say women only date chads. Bet they’ll spin it like Women always date assholes!!! Instead. But if that was true they’d have no problems finding gfs lol
He was perfect, treated me really well, loved me, best person in my life, i had everything, so i cheated on him then had better sex with someone else. Goddamn, this poor man
Surface-level, everyone wants to receive pure unselfish unadulterated love, but it actually requires an extremely positive and healthy self-concept to receive it wholeheartedly and not sabotage it. The person who is vibrating high enough to be able to GIVE that kind of pure love needs to actually be very critical and discriminating with who they pour into or they're just setting themselves up for the pain. At the end of the day though, love given is never truly wasted, even if that specific relationship disintegrates.
The fact that Dane was agreeing with her and using it as an explanation to justify the situation just shows how full-of-shit the “love languages” reasoning is
Right! They're both so toxic. People are defending Jen in the comments saying she took responsibility. She absolutely did not. Taking responsibility is this : what I did was wrong, there is no excuse for it, and I'm sorry for the hurt and damage it caused you. It's not deflecting and blaming him for not giving her what she thought she needed. She didn't communicate what she needed! She just took the cowards way out and cheated on him.
@@WinWinWoosome people can move on better than others, but cheating is extremely damaging. It damages your ability to trust, it affects how you heal, your future relationships. Cheating isn't a casual topic or occurrence. It's cowardly, selfish, and so hurtful. The situation you're in also matters too. 2 years is bad enough, but 5 year relationships, 10 years, married with kids. Cheating affects all of that differently. Your comment is very naive.
@@UnfazedPhoenixwell said, someone not getting past cheating is completely valid, moving on and healing doesn’t mean it doesn’t still deeply scar their past
I think so too 😉 she literally had to grit her teeth to avoid saying how she really felt about Dane at times. Luna kept it her cool because she's learned the hard way that Dane is manipulative and a fucking child 🙄 😡
Yeah im sure theres a lot she was holding back in front of the cameras, but no words needed. I think i know exactly what happened in their relationship and im glad she's out of there
Have we watched the same video? Dane was the one being honest, holding it in and maintaining his composure, while she was deflecting and emotionally manipulating
love languages aren't even real lmao for whoever is curious, search this article on Google: The B*got Who Wrote “The 5 Love Languages” Might Hate You have a fun read! lol
@@kazakukogI wouldn’t say that. It’s in the same way as everyone is different and has different perspectives to things but like 50% in how she used it was incorrect.
Luna is gorgeous and Dane looks like he smells like weeks old pizza and instant regret, so even just that makes her out of his league but the fact that he’s such a douche and manipulative person on top of all that is insane to me. She’s clearly a far better and more patient person than I would be.
@023222323 nah he'll call women out for their bs too. The conmenter is just glad he, as a man, is always ready to call out men for their toxic stuff and not make excuses for them
Yeah looked weird but it is possible that’s ACTUALLY how she did feel about it. Hard to see, and My (or his name) doesn’t know so it’s a problem of trust either way
She said he wasn’t her type at all, and that they have different love languages. So she LOOKED for that in someone else, but yet they dated for 8 years…
That's why I think for some people therapy does more harm than good. I know a lot of people in therapy that treat it like church. Just something you do once a week to get a license to be a shitty person, and hide behind "Therapy Speak".
@@tylerbrazelton1180 I can think of no way she was the problem in the relationship from what we saw today. (clearly I wasn't there, but if she did something he should have said it) She expected him to take care of himself & be an adult. He cheated. Was a whiny baby loser. & Honestly it's manipulative af he went on this whole trip in hopes of getting on her good side to get her back. & As someone who moved for a relationship it's also bullshit to continually hold that over someone's head when it is YOUR choice.
@@TracyCookie Considering the fact that you threw a lie in that block of text, "He cheated", I think you even realize he wasnt the problem which is why you decided to make shit up
He’s the type that would tell his gf she was being cruel by not effing him when he’s being an a**hole, I dated someone just like him, worst person I ever dated, the only words he ever says are manipulations he has probably coerced her behind the scenes too, makes me mad seeing someone take advantage that way, she still thinks he is a good or redeemable person deserving of empathy, she doesn’t see that her empathy is just being used against her with manipulation to feed his tiny destructive bullsh*t ego, thank god she stood her ground and also listened to friends, I hope she gets some therapy like I needed to stay safe from someone like that, trauma bonds gotta break
Ok I get it, Mia is kinda a shitty person. But Ray saying “you sacrificing an intimate thing isn’t that important” is actually crazy. Intimacy is a big part of most relationships. Imagine being sexually dissatisfied but everything else is perfect.
For real. She doesn’t understand when she said all of that, i was like wow, should have left. Shouldnt have cheated but that kind of thinking and dismissal is pain sick
i also don’t even think mia is shitty, i just don’t think they were right for each other. being queer and young and in ur first real queer relationship is crazy, and i don’t think she knew how to think about the other person yet.. but ray refusing to acknowledge the sacrifices she made just made them look like they just held all of that against her ifykwim
@@martophrenia Mia seemed to me a bit shitty at first, but then I realized that it was only through how Ray described Mia. Mia herself acted like a normal person imo.
The thing she sacrificed was topping, she is a switch. Its not like she didn't want to bottom, but Ray wanted to never bottom. They just weren't sexually compatible, that's all.
Dane was really trying his hardest to make Luna seem like the villain but he was clearly the toxic one, you can already tell by the way he's negging her and trying to guilt trip her. MIND YOU: in front of dozen(s) of people and with cameras on him for millions of people to see. Who knows what he's actually like when they would argue just the two of them.
Absolutely, he’s the one that would be bringing up something and getting riled, then pull back like “I don’t want to do this here”. To me Luna saying “no no, let’s just do it” and still holding calm makes it seem like she has nothing she wants to hide. She feels justified, and I agree with her.
@@megspositiveoutlook5772 1000%. Anytime she tried to say how she felt, he would just be like "but you were constantly nagging" (when she said she did try to help him when he was depressed after him claiming she did nothing), "i just couldn't do anything around the house without her getting on me" (not a direct quote, but shows how he didn't put ANY effort into trying to make the house chores and labor equal so she didn't feel like a maid), "but I moved for you" (essentially blaming her for his depression and showing how "big" of a sacrifice that was, even though he never upheld basic relationship promises like being loyal, being responsible for your own actions and being communicative), and last but not least "I felt like you didn't love me" (which we all know was likely bs).
Dane is such a piece of shit. Him saying no to the rest of the questions just shows he was mad that she won't take him back and just kept trying to belittle her.
mustache wasn't toxic bro, he lost his feelings and acted on it like an adult. He waited for an important day to pass, didn't cheat, and ended it rather than leading her on further and building more resentment.
Agreed! I think it was actually a green flag that he broke up with her 2 days after her birthday. I'm sure he had already been thinking about doing it, but had the decency to not do it before her birthday
@@natem1579there will always be something coming up, it’s never a good time to break off a relationship. If it isn’t a holiday/the time around a holiday, it’s going to be a family thing or a big week at work or “cuffing season” or the month before Valentine’s Day etcetcetc
“You could never understand how I felt” when you basically forced your girlfriend to have sex in a way she didn’t like a majority of the time which is _ _ _ _
it came off more like mia treating them like a sex vending machine that she resented more each time she used it bc the button for her favorite soda was broken. like she literally did use other ones too on the reg that had that ready for her but felt this particular one owes it to her the most bc that one felt the most convenient to stick around. putting aside the laundry list of textbook examples and signs of abuse towards her ex on blatant display, its pretty ✨️✨️✨️✨️ing rich to even imagine attempting to twist what little was revealed here into what you had the absolute gall to defecate out of your mouth ^in your comment above^. in what world do you see someone unapologetically going, "yes, i think beggars CAN be choosers, shame on you for forcing me to ask for just a mere fraction of the physical intimacy im owed and not to force you to force yourself to disregard your boundaries" being not only in the right, but actually A Wronged Party in this situation? "i wanted to do more to your body than what you were physically and psychologically able to allow someone to, so i had to settle for less than what i REALLY hoped. but since that was still better than nothing so i was FORCED into choosing that to get at least SOME physical gratification out of you. youre so inconsiderate for MAKING me pretend that a sexual act causing my partner severe trauma means anywhere near as much as how good it would feel for me. in fact just the heinous crime alone of daring to have 6ual trauma in my presence is so much WORSE for ME than any trauma itself that i get a free pass for life and everyone should only care about how HORRIBLE it is for ME to be UPSET" im literally gonna throw up ::)))))
seeing rae constantly invalidate everything mia said triggers me to no end. immediately saying “i cannot imagine any emotional sacrifice you made for our relationship” when the host addressed mia’s answer was INSANE. invalidating mia’s struggle with intimacy because her struggle was supposedly insurmountable to rae’s struggle with their body is crazy. mia tried to set boundaries that were overlooked because rae was struggling with their gender, which is not okay. you can empathize with someone without having your boundaries disrespected and clearly mia doesn’t believe this because rae DISRESPECTED their boundaries and refused to acknowledge their willingness to sacrifice intimate boundaries and pleasure to please rae. holy shit, rae sounds insufferable. i hope mia finds someone better.
gender dysphoria is a real tricky thing it can make you act selfish because it literally engulfs your entire brain and can be ALL u can think about so whilst i understand and empathise with ray its still not an excuse to ignore mia's sexual identity i think they are just a prime example of not meant to be and thats okay it happens a lot in queer relationships i hope they both find their person!
@@nightmrjif you are suffering to the extent that you become selfish then you need to fix that for yourself- you should probably not be in a relationship let alone use it as an excuse to mistreat your partner. Same as any mental illness like depression, it’s unfortunate, but not acceptable to take it out on someone
as a nonbinary person who has dysphoria and has dated other nonbinary folks, watching Rae invalidate Mia was ROUGH. Using gender dysphoria to one-up and invalidate another person's discomfort is awful. Mia's discomfort is just as valid as Rae's. Their discomfort can be different and equally important. Mia definitely did make a sacrifice by having to do something that made her uncomfortable a lot. Rae's martyrdom was too much for me. Rough rough rough to watch.
@@nightmrj I think it's more telling that Ray still feels Mia's suffering wasn't enough to be considered valid. During that time it makes sense for Ray to have felt that way but Ray's answer shows they still haven't grown since then.
Can’t imagine why Luna didn’t want Dane back when he doesn’t let her finish a sentence & admitted he just completely gave up when she asked him to help around the house & got defensive & dismissive at the drop of a dime 🤔
The blonde girl looked so on edge and close to tears the whole video through :( and Dane didn't listen to anything and just kept interrupting her and getting defensive
I feel like Dane viewed his act of moving closer to Luna not as a sacrifice but as a condition and then expected her to take over all further responsibilities in the relationship
Honestly I doubt Dane gave a fuck about moving- he was probably getting kicked out of his own spot and needed somewhere to go, that’s why he pushed for it. He just wanted a mommy to take care of him. He wanted to do the bare minimum and not get called out on it.
I felt the same way until Luna said, "But you wanted to do that", which is a pretty standard way of diminishing someone's actions. She then proceeded to list how his problems invalidated his sacrifice rather than how her contributions equalled his sacrifice. It could just be the editing from Jubilee or Cody, but this is what I see. It seems like this comment section is mostly Team Luna, but there's also a lot of degrading and manipulative behavior from Luna towards Dane as well. I don't necessarily think either side is innocent, but the "Slay Queen" attitude that the comment section (as a whole) is taking isn't exactly the reality of the situation, as far as I can see.
@@zzz-gw2xb never said she was but homie screaming in her voicemail that he should’ve hit her when he had the chance clearly shows what kind of person he is and how he respects the people he’s ina relationship with.
@@lainemarie1831 she legit assaulted him, if u look at the tweets mutuals had abt their relationship u would cry for him. he isn’t good at all but nobody deserves to be subjected to sexual acts they don’t want to partake in
idk why but when she said they didnt like dane because of new years then that she said something that upset him, i fully thought she was gonna say he hit her.
@@nathangaspacio6128 i was waiting for that too. she didnt mention anything like that but i can tell from his composure that he feels entitiled and he acts harshly on emotions, which are the kind of people when upset do scary things, i'm glad that she got out of that
the new years she spent alone reminded me of a thanksgiving i spent at our shared home crying because he was mad for who knows why. he threw glass bottles at me and pinned me down and choked me during a fight later in our relationship. im not saying dane is the same person as my ex, but i’m very relieved Luna seems 100% done with him. the red flags be flagging
I feel like Luna and Dave worked until she was not only aware of the manipulation but stopped dealing with it. She is so soft and well spoken but seems to have enough confidence to see that he’s in the wrong
I feel like Cody was spot on with saying that you can't make a big decision and hold it against the other person. As someone who also moved because of the love I feel for someone, I never felt like they owed me anything for doing something like I did. My circumstance is specific to me, I know. I didn't have a steady job or family where I was so moving was just something I could do. But i never was like "I did this for us so you need to give up everything for me now"
Dude was catching strays for no reason. Seemed like a reasonable guy and his ex confirmed it, yet people think he was "toxic" just because he broke up with her. Crazy.
Dane is the worst one yet. He is immature and childish. You can tell Luna is done having the same conversations with him because she gets nowhere with them. He also is incapable of ACTUALLY admitting anything wrong he did in the relationship You can tell that he has manipulated her time after time. Thank god she realized that he wasn't good enough for her. Their demeaners towards each other told us everything we need to know about them. She was still, straight forward, and confident and his was cocky, insecure, and rude. He wants her back so someone can baby him, not because he actually loves her. If he truly loved her, he would show it. Also its so obvious that he wanted to stand on yes for the "do you wanna still be together" question. He only stood on no because he knew that Luna would stand on no. Its unrelievedly hilarious how easy it is too see right through this guy. A 6 year old could analyze this relationship better than Dane could. This is turning into a rant now but he really just pissed me off the whole time. ALSO he defiantly did some shady shit while they were together. No girl on this planet would send a "come cuddle" text out of the blue to a guy who's just a friend. And the way he looked at he host when she was talking about that as if to get some sort of validation or a "back me up bro" kind of moment?? He has guilt written all over his face and he knows it but has too big of an ego to admit anything. This is the kind of guy that that says he has haters. The most insecure breed of boy on this planet. Thank You.
the girl that dated her ex for 8 years was awful. she said she didn’t really love him and then that she found someone better after him and then that she wished she was still with him. i couldn’t even listen to her i feel so bad for that guy
cody accidentally choosing the words “i’m not well versed in this” in regards to the queer couple talking about their struggles of bottoming to accommodate the other is so funny
Right? 😂 They say opposites attract but that is usually troublesome in romantic relationships. Dane is so obviously manipulative and I’m sure the women in his life ( mom) let him get away with it because he almost takes pride in using someones natural empathy against her. He is the definition of musty. 😂
Luna girl you're amazing for leaving him x you deserve so much better. Even through the editing and him trying to make himself look good in the video, you can still tell he's a lazy, manipulative, gaslighting cheat. Good for you for standing your grounds.
dane is totally the dude to like get home from work, be asked to do a chore thatd take 2 minutes, say "yeah after i go to the bathroom though" and then hide in the bathroom for 2 hours hoping they forget about that chore or give up and do it themselves
Dane solely went to that to manipulate Luna in order to get her to take him back. I don’t even think his answers were completely honest in the beginning and then when he realized the plan wasn’t working on her, he decided to abort mission.
Cody saying that the saddest thing ever are the couples that are stil in love but have trust issues that will never be repaired, is true af. That shit is heartbreaking
Something that sticks out to me from this video is how gratitude and appreciation can make a night and day difference in a relationship. I get the sense Mia would have been ok sacrificing some things about their sex life for instance if Ray had shown more gratitude and not simply felt entitled to get what they wanted bc they “suffered more” or something. That doesn’t excuse taking someone for granted or diminishing their experience. So entitled and self centered honestly
Okay I’m straight as hell and although Mia’s relationship sounded a bit iffy on both sides, her being forced to bottom and her partner invalidating that is absolutely crazy; that definitely was a sacrifice, good god.
I don’t think it’s “being forced” to bottom, jesus. Like just because I don’t like anal sex doesn’t mean my partner is “being forced” to not have anal sex. It’s just a preference, if you aren’t sexually compatible then you either deal with it or break up. You don’t call it a sacrifice and expect thanks. There are other ways to have sex. Edit: and to be clear, what they’re saying is that Mia was a switch who preferred to top, and Ray was an exclusive top. Mia wasn’t being forced to bottom, she was “being forced” to not top. Because Ray wasn’t into that. Like dude, you can’t expect thanks from not doing a sex act someone doesn’t want you to do to them.
@@spook6394nah mia continually giving up what she wants to do sexually bc her partner was topping majority of the time, knowing it’s also what Mia wanted was selfish on ray’s part, & it was definitely Mia sacrificing what she wanted intimacy wise repeatedly for her partner. I understand ray had a gender identity crises and body dysmorphia but to continue to discount that Mia was giving up doing what she likes sexually for ray and that it doesn’t pale to what ray was going through was shitty
i think the issue was just miscommunication and ray hadnt yet accepted their gender identity so at the start maybe they were into both bottoming and topping however they discovered bottoming was in fact not okay at all and they therefore set that boundary but then that accidentally invalidates mia's sexual identity as someone who doesnt always want to bottom yk its just a case of two ppl not right for eachover and thats fine it happens especially in young queer relationships yk ive heard it happen so many times just hope they both grew and matured
@@spook6394Firstly two completely different situations, also they didn't say that at all, Mia said that they both are Tops, not that she liked to switch and she literally said that if she didn't bottom then they couldn't be intimate, which is manipulative behavior. She was doing things she didn't want to do to make Ray happy and Ray would not get over themselves to see where Mia was coming from.
God damn I feel for the dude who got cheated on. That fear is probably gonna creep into the back of his head in every relationship he’s in moving forward. Nothing shakes your trust in people like being deceived by a person who you expect would never want to hurt you
She also got cheated on before being with him so maybe that's why she self sabotages? I just find it interesting that she always wanted to know where he was at
im in a similar spot as the dude and so much of what he said especially about the crying part is to real. i was in a relationship for 9 years and she cheated on me. i blame myself and carry it all on my shoulders
@@stupidmonkey8057 shit man that’s rough, I’m sorry. Mine was 6 years together and we were married for less than one year when she cheated. That happened years ago and it doesn’t hurt like it used to, but my trust in people has never been the same. I’ll never feel safe or like I can rely on people the way I used to, because I know how quickly and how easily things can completely change. You can’t carry that blame though, you’ll only resent yourself if you do. Take whatever lessons you can from it (I learned I needed to work on myself in many ways) and carry those lessons moving forward. All we can do is hope we find someone who thoroughly appreciates what we have and doesn’t give that up
Dane talking about getting yelled at for not washing his cereal bowl sent me because he looks like the kind of man baby who just sits around eating captain crunch all day bc he’s too lazy to cook.
None of the partners who caused harm to the other person took full accountability for their actions. The girl who cheated gave a half-baked apology about how their different love languages caused her to cheat. Dane resorted to gaslighting and placed blame on Luna. Mia gave a weak excuse for keeping her ex a secret... jeez, these people
I don’t think we’re talking enough about how ray was like “all the gender confusion and everything i was going through does not compare to you refusing to go down on me” when mia had already clearly stated that she wasn’t comfortable constantly doing it blows my mind. Someone in this world probably has it easier than me but it is not my right to compare our situations and to diminish their opinions and experiences.
Yeah, it was quite uncomfortable to watch. Mia looked like she was about to cry when Ray told her that and I can just imagine that was going on during their relationship too. I hope they're both in a better place now
Yea its total pain olympics and i can’t respect it. Part of being queer is recognizing the way your inherent repression and confusion can harm those around you. You hurt people when you try to find yourself in and beside them; Ray getting triggered and denying any harm caused to Mia was actually so upsetting to see. You can’t force people into a box and not expect them to flinch when you trim the edges that aren’t CONVENIENT for where you are at in your journey. Ray needs to start recognizing the ways we can hurt and also cause hurt simultaneously.
The idea of ‘I went through a lot so therefore any of your feelings are irrelevant’ is wild. Two people can go through a hard time, one having it worse doesn’t invalidate the others experience.
except it was about HOW THEIR OWN BODY was going to be treated. If their partner hated bottoming so much they could have just said no and not had sex. the fact that she's then trying to turn around and make it about a boundary that their partner set about their own gender dysphoria is crazy. just bc you can't set a boundary about yourself doesn't mean you should expect other people not to.
@clarkhoward1761 I mean the other girl had a boundary abt her body too.. neither of them wanted to bottom one person just felt their reasoning was more important, so the other bit the bullet. (She def compromised her own body for her partner) The girl in purple also said that was her first queer relationship, so that can be a reason why she just agreed to something she wasn’t comfortable with. Idk why make it as simple as just saying no. Bc her options were literally no sex or do something u don’t really want to do. Which could be hard decision since she really didn't have an outlet of identity exploration in that relationship. Either way two tops should have never been together.
@@clarkhoward1761the other girl made a sacrifice on how her body was treated too, the other didn't consider that a significant sacrifice and not even a sacrifice at all. If it wasn't at all a sacrifice it should have been easy for her to do as well, bc otherwise she's assuming to know exactly how the other girl felt about it and knew she didn't mind it. She's the type of person to sympathise with herself the most and downplay other people's experiences.
The problem is that Mia is bringing this up under the "what did you sacrifice" question and "I respected your consent and willingly stayed in a sexually and emotionally incompatible relationship because of mutual attraction" does not fit. @clarkhoward1761 hit the nail on the head with "just bc you can't set a boundary about yourself doesn't mean you should expect other people not to." She is getting criticised because she said "it was either on your terms or you wouldn't have sex at all", which is how consensual sex works. Consent is not a sacrifice. Period. Her feelings of unfulfillment are valid, but in the context of the question, it will inevitably prompt Ray into explaining why it was impossible for them to satisfy her at that time. Having sex in a way that triggers one's dysphoria can feel violating, or even "corrective", which is worlds apart from being upset that you can't explore your top side. Shitty of her to say respecting this was a sacrifice. Bizarre of Ray to claim Mia had no benefit to her sexuality or identity from topping. The solution was to acknowledge that they were wholly incompatible. They seem to know this, yet keep on arguing. I appreciated Cody's self-awareness.
@@glt.That's downplaying what she did. A sexual experience is a pleasurable experience, and she willingly got out of her comfort zone for the sake of her partner enjoying the experience as best she could. She gave her partner a pleasurable experience even if it meant she didn't enjoy it as much, which is a sacrifice she made for her partner's sake. For anyone to claim that that wasn't that big a sacrifice (if at all) to make they must also know just how far out of her comfort zone she was in the first place, and for her partner to claim that it was 'nothing', even though she personally doesn't think it was, just goes to show how self-centred she is.
This! This is why I told my boyfriend I don't want to move in together until he's lived at least a whole year on his own. We've been dating for almost 3 years, but he's just recently moved out of his mom's house at age 23 and I really want this relationship to work. And so does he, despite the housing market being brutal he did his best and eventually got a place
@@old_yeller4251 that’s stupid to make him live on his own for a year unless there’s a reason behind it, are you at least chipping in if you live together or you want it to be all set?
@@old_yeller4251living alone I don’t think will help that much with that type of stuff. I’ve met people that have only plastic plates and such just so they don’t have to wash dishes ever 😂 or they have their place very dirty. Living alone doesn’t mean they will pickup after themselves 🤔 there’s hoarders and what not. But I can see how living with someone can make you change that. I’m a little lazy and my bf is very productive. Whenever he is not doing something important he starts cleaning the apartment. I appreciate it a lot how clean he is but also makes me feel bad when im relaxing on the couch/bed and he is cleaning around for like the 3rd time in the day lol so I get up and help him a bit or I decide to be the one to make dinner etc. before I would be very lazy when cooking but now I look at recipes and what not so I can impress him or just another activity to do together idk… sorry a lot of words 😅 word vomit
i love how in depth the lesbian couple was in their break down of the relationship. felt very real and i wish more people could see this side of the lgbtq community. like not the dysfunctional aspect but the conversation about how they view relationships.
@@andreal3239 Yes, this! She kept apologizing about her actions and apologizing that he felt that way, and liek "giving in" to what she knew was right because he would be like "but i wasn't loved. I got depression because I moved FOR YOU and maybe didn't put as much into the relationship, but you never showed me you loved me or cared." "You weren't trying to show you cared for me, you were constantly nagging" "I couldn't get a break, but it's obvious I never upheld my end of the relationship by being faithful and by contributing to basic living duties so you felt like a maid, but I would clean my cereal bowl, I promise". Like this dude just kept giving excuses and she would try to explain why she felt unnoticed, unappreciated, taken advantage of, or hurt, and he would just say "but you didn't see what I did, you didn't show me love" even though still way after they broke up, in the video, she gave him so many chances to understand where she was coming from and how she felt as well as gave him so many chances to say how he felt, and ALL he did was blame the relationship failing on her lack of effort, lack of empathy, lack of love, etc. It's so damn sad to see. Obviously I don't know what she sounds regularly, but she sounds so defeated and like sad when she's trying to share how she feels and talk to him, and we all know why.
It validates to me how bad my ex was, he uses her empathy against her in a total manipulation, I just see myself in her a couple years ago, mad not just at how he’s messing with her but at my ex too because I’m still trying to find what way is up after I was manipulated threatened coerced and just emotionally abused to say the least, I’m very happy to say though that I am now so much more mad at him than myself cause I can see how I was just like Luna, my only mistake being to see good or worth in someone who didn’t have any because I didn’t expect someone as terrible as him and I couldn’t see past the manipulations of my own empathy
@@andreal3239i had the same experience its so infuriating where you tell what bothers you and the other person says oh that’s not a problem x y z like you are never listened to it’s literally makes you want to pull your hair out, Dane triggers me so much holy shit
I love how respectful Cody is about situations he doesn't fully understand and how he doesn't put on a front when he's uneducated. Like, when he said he wasn't "well-versed enough to weigh in on a queer relationship," I actually really appreciated that. It's refreshing to see a man who can recognize a learning opportunity instead of getting insecure and dismissive.
Good for Cody, but it seems like it's becoming a very easy out for some people. I had an experience with a trans masc guy who also had depression and Autism, I had this "a lot of things are different in this person and I just don't understand their struggles and should accept whatever they are willing to throw me" mindset. Yeah, dude ended up ghosting me for 6 months (I sent a couple of messages asking what happened and why they're not responding), then randomly showing up in the DMs "ha ha, I thought I deleted you. Hope you're well". Some people are just egotistical scumbags and they use their mental struggles to gaslight people. I get the same vibe from this top who thinks their gender struggles is the only thing that matters in the relationship, and their partner's sexual frustration is no biggie.
@@midseini don’t really think it’s important for cody to be an expert or even well versed on sexual dynamics in queer relationships. as long as he’s respectful and nonjudgmental, he’s fine. we need more of that
Wow Luna so pretty and genuinely seems like a kind and considerate person, she deserves a lot better than someone who constantly blame the other person
You really start to see the nuanced and some would say toxic dynamics throughout this episode between the pairs. Jubilee is truly conducting a sociological and psychological experiment!
This is so fascinating. I naturally almost felt I was picking a "side" of the relationship that was in the "right" and it kept changing every question lol, the complexities of these relationships were insane.
I hate the "two days after my birthday... that's when he decided to break up" like why specify it, when is there ever a good time? There's always Christmas, Valentine's, birthdays, some kind of party, I feel bad that we're constrained to the calendar and go like "oh this relationship doesn't feel right but I should at least wait for Christmas to pass" and then be the asshole for doing it "at the wrong time". Never personally happened, but I feel like people going "you could have waited for a better time" dont see that there's ever really a better time (except maybe avoiding the day of someone dying/funeral)
As someone who's felt forced to do things in a way I was uncomfortable with & disliked when getting intimate with a partner (even after asking for compromise many times like Mia did) I understand how she feels and it's extremely wrong of her partner to diminish her feelings when getting physically intimate is physically and emotionally draining when you feel forced into doing things you don't want to do. I understand that feeling of being emotionally taxed because you don't want another argument / want to make the other person happy. Mia even mentioned the manipulative tactic of her partner saying it's her way or no intimacy and I've gotten that exact same thing said to me. It's manipulative and makes you feel like your hands are tied unless you're willing to risk losing them.
How is it manipulative to have boundaries? If I don't feel comfortable with someones kink it is correct to draw the line instead of keeping someone on the line. If you're not compatible or satisfied there should be a conclusion so that there is no resentment
I think the queer relationship probably wouldn't have ever worked because they both seemed very ridgid in what they wanted and uncomfortable at the same time physically. Hopefully both of them find partners who are a great fit in the future.
Reminds me of the first time I tried to date a girl and we were just categorically incompatible but she's still one of my best friends. Some people have needs and wants and communication styles that just don't work at all no matter how bad you want them to or how much fun you have when you're together it's still not everything
Yeah fr, they clearly were incompatible romantically and both had valid reasons. It's just unfortunate but hopefully they'll both find new partners they like
I didn't like how she talked about her gender confusion. It feels, I don't know, dismissive of the other's problems. Like they're obviously not the same but not being sexually compatible can create a lot of problems that can hide underneath the surface. I don't know.
I really appreciate cody’s sensitivity towards the queer couple and his recognition that he doesn’t have the experience to comment on their dynamic. Even as a queer woman i was kinda lost for words regarding their conflict at first
@@womankisserjermaluvrI would agree but I can't. Just like this video might've been low-key helpful for straight viewers in their relationships, I feel like it not only shed a light for straight viewers on queer relationships, but also may have helped queer viewers understand themselves a little better
Yes I appreciated that. When they said their body dysmoprphia trumped her issue with not wanting to bottom and cody was like yeah idk anything about that.
@37:00 yes you are right Cody. Those things do erode most relationships because I really believe most people aren't cut out for LIFE LONG relationships. Most people should be like that sex positive dude and just recognize they shouldn't be in them. Thats why so many people cheat and shit. They shouldn't have gotten into a committed relationship in the first place, but society tells all of us we should. Most people don't have the self awareness, the selflessness, and the emotional maturity that a relationship needs to last. When I asked my ex to please do the dishes after I make dinner, he said, "I don't want to have expectations like that in a relationship. I don't want to feel like you're my mom. If I get to the dishes I get to them, but if I don't, I don't want to get in trouble." Like oh cool yeah so ill just make dinner and do the dishes every meal, and you can just keep smoking weed and talking my ear off 24/7 about your genius ideas and all the shit you're GOING TO do one day. Thats fair. Lot of losers out there.
Around minute 21 when she says we're almost 30 and should have a family but things are too broken and dented between us" trust those instincts. My first love and I thought the exact same thing. Cut to 4.5 years later and we're almost 35 having tried making it work since 30, we still don't have a family, and there's even MORE broken and dented between us. We broke up the week of Thanksgiving.
Im disappointed with the tall guy who got cheated on... The fact he wants to get back together with her is a terrible idea. He seems like such a good guy and he deserves so much better. Brother, move on, shes toxic
he said that the girl was his first girlfriend ( and they were together for like several years i think ??) so that probably severely skews his view of things
@@womankisserjermaluvryeah, like 8 year’s. the idea to move on may seem simple in theory and to some other people (like us, the viewers) but after all that build up, it would definitely be something that’s too complicated and difficult to do. the 8 year’s, her being his first and all. poor guy
@@whatreallymatters571 yeah, but I doubt how that's the case here. She tried to justify her own cheating and make it seem like it was an incompatibility issue
You may be right that most women who cheat excuse it by saying that. But I do feel that men excuse cheating just as much or more by saying that they couldn't help it, that men are just wired that way, and that monogamy isn't natural for men. Well, if someone wants to use that argument, there are many, many things we do in this world, like for instance holding it and not just peeing wherever we happen to be standing, that may not be natural but we do because we're civilized people.Just saying, both genders tend to excuse their actions when they cheat. @@user-uu8tp5dd6b
UGH 🤮I'm a counselor and myself and the rest of my colleagues are tired of hearing about the love language crap. Love languages are at the most superficial level of a relationship. Look, everyone needs all five. Someone who likes words of affirmation still needs acts of service, and so on. At the same time, having in-tune love languages does not equate to a healthy relationship. Manipulators, I'm looking at you. If you adjust your love languages for each other but you have a list of issues, it won't do much. What is much more helpful is looking at your attachment style, and how you and your partner express and receive each other's bids for needs. "It's crazy how many relationships corrode just because of dishes and laundry" - Usually these are a symptom of a general attitude toward your partner. Either dismissing your partner's requests because of their ego or having codependent tendencies of frequent, unsolicited corrections as though they are a parent, or something along those lines. I'm particularly concerned about Ray. I hope she's been able to heal so that she can be happier in future relationships.
I don’t think the PowerPoint is that weird because it was an internet trend for a while for random shit. Also, not being fully sure if you’re interested in someone after a first date is totally normal. It’s better to build the connection over time than the love bomb out the gate.
I agree !! I think openly discussing a first date with your friends is so normal to determine how you really felt about it. Whether you have a visual aid or not shouldn’t matter tbh
@@Peayou... Ok, that girl was clearly a bad partner but the powerpoint thing was the most normal thing ever. I'm college age and it's not surprising someone would do that
As a person who hasn’t had a long lasting relationship, this shit scares me to the core. It’s a good thing that Cody holds the back of my neck so I know I’m safe 😂
You could see that Dane barely looked Luna in the eye and was looking at the host while speaking mostly. He couldn't face her legitimately, and was in a way trying to prove himself to the other people in the room that he was trying, rather than proving it to her directly.
@madf8507 Interesting read. I spotted it more in his inability to hold eye contact with either Luna or the host for a complete thought that shows his desire to prove himself to everyone in the room. I think it would be normal to cater your attention to the person asking the questions. Majority of the participants do so as well throughout.
I did not even realize fifty minutes had gone by. Please, yes! If a video organically goes that long, let it be that long! This was great & your input was great.
Dain is literally the epitome of a dude who love bombs and checks out once he’s getting taken care of like a baby and their partner is too invested to see it and takes super long to leave because they make it seem like they gave everything to the relationship
