This Is How You DON'T Play Crash Team Racing: Nitro Fueled (0utsyder Edition) 

Message from the future: Pinstripe: 3:21:15 - 4:21:43 Yes he is literally an hour of this video.

THE ACHIEVEMENT AT THE END WAS “WHY DONT YOU GET A JOB?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“I have no idea what I’m doing” probably the most honest thing Phil has ever said.

Bumbling Philbert: -Doesn't boost properly -Misses opportunities to do those jump-boosts constantly -Misses boost pads constantly -Ignores wumpa fruits (he probably doesn't even notice the differences between 0 and 10 fruits) -Bumps into walls -Falls off stages -Drives straight at enemies items -Doesn't know how items work -Ignores shortcuts -"Can't see" some obstacles (if only he had glasses) -Did little to nothing to improve his boosting skills Yet, somehow he convinced himself that he is playing flawlessly.

Did you guys know that Crash Racing *isn't* Mario Kart? I know, pretty crazy. Good thing we have DSP to explain this to us.

*Retro Gamer* 1. Rage Quit Ninja Gaiden 2. Sucks at EVERY Sonic and Mario game 3. Sucks at platforming games unless his hand is held or there are save states 4. Didn't even play the original CTR and has no clue how to play this one 5. Compares every difficult game to Dark Souls *This is the prime example of an absolute scrub*

I still can't believe there are people in this world that watch this guy in an unironic manner.

Phil: *randomly drives off edge* Also Phil: "NOTHIN I COULD DO ABOUT THAT"

*drives into TNT instead of avoiding it* ‘Nothing you can do about that’

Coco "Get in the slow lane buddy!" She means YOU Phil.

"concept art, yeah... who the hell wants to look at concept art?" Spoken like the plebeian he is.

"Why can't I see the meter?" Because you refuse to wear your glasses, Magoo.

we get it phil you played mario kart on the snes, no need to mention it on every round

I hate his excuses, analogies at the end and him saying that the races are “one sided”. If the game is that hard, maybe you shouldn’t play on normal!!! He literally lucked out on majority of his races, skipped boxes cause of his terrible drifting, misused his tnt and other defensive items and never learned the maps at all during his the races. Why do people pay him again?

4:20:42 "Trophy: why don't you get a job?" Killed me 😂

Didn't even start the video and i can already feel the upcoming amount of salt

Nitrous oxide's "what took you so long?" works well with DSP here lmao

So this is the Dark Souls of racing games huh? Interesting!

Phil's greatest detractor yet, the developers of Crash Team Racing: Nitro Fueled.

A little list of tips and tricks regarding various encounters phil had to complain trough. - All bosses have a standard artificial boost. This is, of course, to make it more challenging. -Most of the time, when other racers passed phil, it's because they had a longer uptime of Sacred Fire or Ultimate sacred fire. Thanks to the reserves system -When other racers can pass certain points easier, like the loop in dragon mines, it's because the AI is litteraly designed to take the best course of actions avaiable to smoothen the track and maintain a high speed ratio. This usually has nothing to do with characters, and going coco because "The AI coco could do it easily", is a terrible reasoning. Going dingodile, a speed character with the worst handling afterwards, is even a worse idea. -A personal tip, don't be afraid to press the break button. It can save your life in difficult turns, like cortex castle and even polar pass, when you cannot go over the wall. It's better to breakneck your speed slightly and stay on track, then to collide with a wall, lose all momentum, and start of difficult. Or to fall of a map. TLDR: CTR is a game that has a lot of deeper mechanics that, when mastered, can let you speed over maps like it's a joke. The mastering of these mechanics was what most CTR fans loved the most. Last possible tip i can give is that, yes, this game is inspired by the original. Which was an old, game. Medium difficulty wasn't considered "Normal" , difficulty. if you are new to the game, and want to learn the ins and outs on your own pace, i suggest hitting easy difficulty. It's not a shame. It's a learning progress. Drive safe my dudes.

Take a sip every time he says "artificial"

Has 0 speed-increasing Wumpa fruit, doesn't use every speed boost pad, tries to drift too late, hits obstacles: WHY ARE THEY SO FAR AHEAD WITH ARTIFICIAL SPEED BOOST!?

My god, that rant/response to DudeFrozen's cheer was somethin' else. I don't know who's got him more whipped at this point--Kat or Pinstripe. 😂

"hardest racing game I've ever played" Someone make this piggy play a Wipeout game

drives directly into a wall and shouts "how was that my fault?" thats a classic

“I did nothing correct. I did everything wrong.” That’s gold

20:02 did...did he just blame the developers for putting walls in the game??!!

3:40:48 I did nothing CORRECT, I did everything WRONG. I’m dead.

First thing he reads in the game is to press the button again to explode the bombs mid roll. Never once uses this information and misses nearly every bomb. Constantly misses items or wastes deployables and wonders why he gets hit by so many missiles.

"Passed me for no reason" umm its a race reason is winning race? Or the character have better acceleration or speed ?

"How do people defend this game?" I don't know. Same question as why people defend you.

1:08:26 Classic DSP moment. Drives through dirt then smack into a wall "How'd they pass me I'm playing perfectly".

Couldn't click faster. Your TiHDPs tend to be better than most. Plenty of non DSP memes, minimal usage of tired DSP audio memes, comedic timing, minimal filler content. Cheers

5th place: DSP "Perfectly balanced as all things should be."

You have to admit that he is a master of one thing that maybe no one gave him the merit he deserves: the master of crate dodging.

"You can't jump over a missile!" You actually can if your reflexes are not the same as an obsidian obelisk.

He actually believes that saving a power-up until the opportune moment arrives, for example by using the invulnerability mask right before the finish line (as opposed to wasting the power-up as soon as you get it) constitutes cheating. Wow.

DSP: This is nothing like mario cart, nothing at all, not like mario cart at all. Random viewer: *Points out how unfair mario cart was on the snes* DSP: This is exactly like mario cart, absolutely, exactly like mario cart in every way.

Ive said it before and I'll say it again the creators who make tihydp's are magicians especially you the 0utsyder you people some how make the most boring man alive watchable and entertaining. Bravo

remember, saying "it really is" after every statement makes it 100% more true

"Off to a great start" Even the game knows it's gonna be a mess lol

"Nothing I could do about it" says man who very much could do something about it.

Everyone else: Easy = Easy Medium = Easy Hard = Kinda challenging Expert = Very hard "Dave": Easy = Easy Medium = Very hard Hard = Impossible mode Expert = Trying to do rocket science blind

You know it's bad when he can't figure it out within the first few minutes and keeps calling Coco a guy. I wish he'd wear his glasses already.

“I’m in first. I don’t even know why”SMH

I’m certainly no master at CTR; sometimes I fuck up the starting boost, I can’t land some of the more difficult shortcuts, and the second race against Nitrus Oxide continues to hand my ass to me on a silver platter, but I can confidently say that I’m infinitely better than DSP in every possible way. Then again, it’s not a hard bar to pass. Edit: I have now beaten Nitrus Oxide on his second race. And I can attest to getting knocked off course and blown up and ending up in last place when in first and guess what?? I don’t need to restart the match to win because if you have actual skill with the game, you can catch up. It’s incredibly rewarding to get better at this game and see yourself improving. Of course, you have to actually put in the effort and recognize where in the game you need to improve to appreciate it. Instead of, you know, Blaming the game.

Man, there is nothing I enjoy better than seeing all those Instant Replays completely exposing Phil's lies and ineptitude.

0:43 "Tick... Boom! You can press O when a bowling bomb is rolling to make it explode on the spot.” 2:46:06 "oh you can only shoot one at a time or they explode! I had no idea" SMH 🤦‍♂️

I've watched this like 4 times now. Never gets old.

DSP and The Juggernaut Name a more iconic duo

Pinstripe is the Champion Gundyr of kart racing games.

I'm barely 30 minutes into this and all I can think is how different this would be if Phil just wore his glasses.

"And I just got hit by a random bomb! Nothing I can do about it!" ...somebody shot it at you. That's not random.

Every game he plays happens to be massively broken somehow, yet nobody else has issues

holy shit i'm 3 minutes in and already yelling at my screen, he doesn't even remotly try to understand the game "i don't know how to boost it's not like mario, please chat tell me how to boost". This is gonna be a long one.

*Does not drift for long several seconds* He passes me for NO reason!!!

"Why don't you get a job?" Did not know the trophies on PS4 were this hilarious, GG Beenox

Currently recovering from surgery, these will certainly make it easier, thanks pimp

We have a Restart/Lose counter. Now we need: -a “Nothing I Could Do” counter -an “Artificial Speedboost” counter -and an “Invisible Item” counter Edit: Feel free to add on your own counter ideas below

That thumbnail... If I had that face riding behind me, the speedometer wouldn't dip below 90

DSP's idea of a fair race is crashing the boss at the start and glitching them out so they never catch him.

Phil: completes the track no faster after 10 attempts than the very first time he played it Also Phil: "I'm driving flawlessly"

Being an avid Mario Kart player (and by avid, I mean I play it when I get the urge to race), I can confirm that Super Mario Kart on SNES is not broken and based heavily on the player's skills as a driver. Phil just has worse vision than a rhino.

I love how he expertly navigates between the item boxes, and if he gets one he tosses it out right away, no matter what it is. Forget saving it for defense, or waiting for a moment he could use it to take the lead, nope! It just shoots right out, like his racer can't control themselves.

SERIOUSLY IT'S ALREADY DONE?

Khet's husband is doing REAL work. Give all your money to him because he's clearly more deserving of it than us. Gout isn't going to pay for itself.

keeping the tradition of these glorious thumbnails i see

There's no such thing as "highway only" glasses, you either need glasses always, or you don't. Unsurprisingly DSP could not renew his license without glasses, so he needs them and he's putting other people in danger when he drives without them.

Characters obviously passing through the boost pad "Bullshit, they have artificial boost, nothing i can do" Is he so delusional he's trying to gaslight viewers into his bullshit?

3:50:30 His "I loved this game as a kid but then I realized how bad it was when I played it again as an adult" argument might work on some games, but Crash Team Racing sure as hell ain't one of them. The original still holds up extremely well, even today.

I love how the TNT he hits at 36:21 was the one he layed down after the narrow entrance at 35:18. It says a lot how the AI can get passed that TNT twice, and DSP hits it and fucks up his massive chance of winning the race seconds before the finishing line. 😂

How to avoid items Missles- Keep a potion or Tnt crate in you back pocket just in case Tnt- Jump Potions- Drive well Bombs- Pray All items in the game- Play well and stay ahead of the competition. If you drive well, you can out run anything. If you get too far ahead, Missles can't track you and you become faster than the Electro Orbs. In online matches, it becomes a game of skill rather than items as most players can keep a gap ahead of the next person where a missle doesn't matter and orbs can't reach them. Online matches between pros are fun to watch and even better to race against just to witness it in person. But, of course, skill isn't a word in ole Pigroach's dictonary.

"How is it my fault!?" Phil you had every opportunity to not bump into walls or obstacles. It's entirely your fault.

My goodness, an hour of this video is him tryin to beat Pinstripe. Seriously, this guy is worse in CTR than any average 10 year old gamer.

Who would win? A streamer who doesn't know how to play this game and blames everything but himself OR A cartoon rat with a New York accent

You know, I think Pinstripe just might be my favorite Crash character of all. Badass appearance? Check. Mafioso? Check. Wields a fucking tommy gun? Check. Has a cool boss theme? Check. Trolled the living Hell out of Phil? CHECK.

Medium difficulty the most well round difficulty with a bit of challenge in the A.I for player. = to unfair challenge and "breaking it own rule". Sounds legit

Did you guys know that this isn't anything like Mario Kart???? According to Philly boy any Go Cart racing game that has cartoon characters should be exactly like Mario Kart.

Youd think hes allergic to wumpa fruit the way he avoids em

Is "Nothing I can do about it" his default excuse whenever he fails? Like, after doing this for 11 years, his brain switches to the old excuses he's been using all these years.

The only thing Nitro-Fueled here is his griping, because it sure isn't his cart. It PAINS me to watch him slowly curve around big turns, never boosting, never drifting, always just steering into the turn and trying to play catch-up. He hits walls a lot, and he always drives through the sand/water/slow areas just to try and save distance (you're faster on the road while boosting, but he doesn't get it).

-Doesn’t use the boost at all “HOW ARE THEY SO AHEAD OF ME?!”

I love Phil's logic of "[CHARACTER] always seems to beat everyone else in races, so if I play as [CHARACTER], then that means I'LL always win" Now THAT would actually make the game unbalanced, if that were the case

This was GOLD, He got GOTTI, PIMP CANE AND THE JUGGERNAUT. In one gameplay! This is beautifully crafted

Just wanted to say that I will NEVER get tired of the Juggernaut showing up in your TIHYDPs.

About the glasses thing, as someone who also has to wear glasses to see far distances for signs and shit, you legally have to wear your glasses at ALL TIMES while driving, so that highway only stuff is bullshit.

Pinstripe shall join Ludwig, The Accursed, Champion Gundyr, Urkbuk the black and the Cainhurt Hunter in the hall of the Pantheon of the Detractors. Masters of making phil rage. We welcome you with open Arms Pinstripe. Welcome.

He has pressed Start more times than the R1

"i have no idea what i'm doing" dsp in a nutshell

"oh im supposed to turn? there's no way to know any of this" there's literally a map of the track on the bottom left lmao

>Get hit by X >Read the chat >Fall >Read the chat >Get stuck in the wall >Read the chat Overly... TOXIC!!! This one killed me, please we need more Juggernauts on future edits.

Trophy: Why don't you get a job? Now Phil need to get a life trophy

24:30 he literally drove into the wall and blames the game.

“I Ain’t Got Rhythm” from Phineas and Ferb, but every time they say “rhythm”, DSP fails a drift.

can we name every speed boost pad in every game ever as "artificial speed boost" from now on?

This really needed a "SNES Mario Kart" counter

Rule number one about this game. It plays dirty, so you need to absolutely play dirty back.

2:01:43 This is what pisses me off about this guy. 1-) Beenox is not lazy. They could have just made the base game CTR and leave it at that and it would still sell a lot. But not only they did that, as they included tracks from Nitro Kart, they made new content for the game each month during half a year for free, including new tracks and modes. I usually don't suck up to game studios, but with all the shitty practices that the gaming industry keeps on throwing at the customers, I'll at least akowledge one that cared for the fans. 2-) Wasn't he the guy that was shitting on Street Fighter V because, according to him the game was dumbed down so that noobs can beat pros without learning the game? He mentioned a fuckton of times that's the reason he won't play SFV. But now he's shitting on devs from another game because they didn't dumb down the game for him. 3-) Ironically, he could simply play on easy and that would solve he's problems. But he's ego won't let him do it. He wants normal to be easy. He wants to be able to play the game, not learn the mechanics and beat everyone by default. 10 years legacy, ladies and gentleman. Too stupid to understand simple shit, too self-centered to think he's wrong.

Ramp is almost as big of a detractor than EvilAJ and Outsyder combined

It's great to watch DSP continue to humiliate himself because he doesn't even try to understand the basic core mechanics.