This Is Why Men Don't Approach Women Anymore 

Women: Spend a decade telling men that approaching them in almost any social gathering besides a bar is creepy and offensive. Men: Listen to women. Women: Why are men not approaching us anymore. Men:You told us not to. Women: No we didn't, you just aren't brave enough.

Many women are finally realizing that their negative, hate filled, misandry has had an impact on men. The vast majority of men will no longer approach women to talk to or ask for a date. I saw a perfect example of this the other day. Whilst having a drink after work with a female friend, we both noticed a reasonably attractive guy, well dressed and groomed who had seen a girl he obviously wanted to talk to. You could see him struggling to overcome his reticence and nervousness, trying to “psych himself” to go and talk to her. After a few minutes you could tell he was ready, he asked the ladies in his group to make sure he looked presentable, he asked the guys to wish him well. Over he went to her and tried to introduce himself a start a conversation. All six of the women at the table immediately stopped what they were doing and openly started looking this poor guy up & down. Two started openly giggling and the the rest were smirking. The guy valiantly kept going, being polite, keeping respectful & not getting too close. By now, all the women where either laughing or just staring at him. He had taken all the rejection he could, apologized for interrupting and turned to walk away. As he did, the whole table erupted into gales of laughter, names were called out, the nicest of which was “loser” . He simply walked past his own table of friends and kept walking right out of the bar. A pleasant, well educated, well brought up guy being humiliated in front of everyone in the bar and then women wonder why men won’t talk to them anymore ? Really ?

Talk to any guy that's actually had a woman overreact and accuse him of being creepy when approaching and he will tell you it's one of the worst things to ever happen to him. It just feels more risky than ever to approach these days.

Bartender for 22 years. I've watched tens of thousands of strangers meet/pick up each other. For most women, the definition of a "creepy" guy is basically any man that they aren't immediately attracted to. Hot or rich guys can often get away with acting like a creep because they''re desired by women. There's a lot more of a chance of an average/below average guy getting called a creep for being nice than a hot guy would for actually acting like a creep. This is why guys think they have to have looks or money to even be able to have a chance with women. Because if you don't, the chances of you getting called "creepy" go WAY up.

My sister labeled a guy creepy because he approached her at Starbucks, clearly she wasn’t attracted to him but I called her out on calling him creepy, I basically told her it was not cool to call him creepy because she wasn’t attracted to him, if it was Brad Pitt she wouldn’t be calling him creepy

It's not fear of rejection, it's being tired of rejection.

Women be throwing slurs like "creepy" or "incel" around like its nothing

Recently I saw a woman i knew for sometime take a fall. Struggled to get back on her feet, So i thought I would be a gentleman and offered her a hand of support to help her back on her feet. She slapped my hand away and said I was creepy. I was angry and offended. When that happens ladies, men will avoid you like the plague.That hurt and I was very angry. I knew her for years and now I refuse to talk to her,

It’s not just feeling creepy, it’s also feeling unwanted. I feel like all women hate me and I bet many other men feel like this too

I stopped dating 9 years ago, I just have no room left in my life for toxicity and constant drama in my life, I just want peace.

A few years ago, a Gillette commercial told me that trying to meet women in public is illegal now.

100% rejection over the course of 10 years. Most of the time I barely opened my mouth before she would say "ewe" or "gross". I'm not afraid because of how ill feel anymore. I just realized it's absolutely pointless. I don't enjoy putting myself in bad situations intentionally and that's what it's become.

I was at a bar one night, I don't drink much but I like to shoot pool, I ended up chatting with a group of ladies and when they found out I wasn't a drinker they called me a predator and said I was there waiting for girls to get drunk so I could grape them. That really shook me, and made one of the last few socially acceptable places to meet strangers feel like a no go zone.

I read a woman complained that a man was starring at her at the gym. The man was blind and still the manager ask the man to stop. He said I am blind. The Manager should have kicked her out for harassing a blind man not stuck up for her. The most ridiculous case I ever read.

Here's a story of wicked karma, and it's a tale that shows why people need to be careful what they post online. A good buddy of mine was at a locally popular restaurant and approached a really attractive woman. He was polite and joked a bit, he did nothing creepy. She was pretty stand-offish and eventually got rather negative toward him, so he backed off. Well, fast forward a few days, this lady posted a video online talking about being at this restaurant and talking about "this really creepy guy" while getting film shots of him from a distance. Pretty terrible. Now, this guy is a long time best friend of one of the people that own the restaurant, and the people who own the place own about half the commercial property in that city. They've got wealth and influence. Here's how this went down. The owners took this personally. They took this girl to court and sued her on the basis she was publicly defaming their restaurant patrons. I haven't heard how it all settled, but I did hear she was fired from her job due to absences for having to be in court. It just makes me think of that short video a girl posted in a gym filming "creepy guys" which resulted in her gym membership being revoked.

Bottom line: social media sucks, it changed the way that we interact with one another and now it leaves scars in our society.

Got rejected by every woman i approached or fell for. Drained all emotional energy until i don't have any more strength left to do the same again because I know the result. It's not that I don't fall for any woman anymore but just control my emotions and never approach anyone now. Someone is made for you quotes are all bullshit in real life. I am happy to be single now and plan to live for myself and my passions ambitions only. Probably won't go through this anxiety and shit anymore.

When I was 23, I was in a bar and saw a girl I thought looked pretty good sitting down. I watched for a moment to see if she was with anyone and she didn't appear to be, so I walked over and asked her "hey, what're you drinking?" She looked at me, scrunched up her face then stood up and walked away. I shrugged it off and 45 seconds later two bouncers grabbed me and dragged me out. I asked them what the fuck, they said a girl complained I harassed her. I told the dudes I asked her what she was drinking and she just walked away from me, and the dudes blew me off and said their policy was if they receive a complaint the dude has to go no questions asked. I haven't cold approached ever since, learned my fucking lesson I guess.

Y’all have some ridiculous standards that change with the wind. Imagine saying you want a guy who’s 6 feet tall or higher, makes 6 figures, works out and provides you a luxurious life, and require men to have it together financially, mentally, physically and socially and yet in the same breath say things like “I don’t need no man”, “if you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best” or everyone’s favorite “you have to accept me for who I am”. The hypocrisy.

One time in college, I asked a girl from class if she wanted to go out sometime and I just got laughed at. Incredibly demoralizing.

Calling guys "Creepy" is a power move... it puts them on a pedestal and let's them attack someone for anything.

I’m 60 years old and I remember this incredible girl in my early twenties. I approached her and she said, “Thank you for approaching me but I’m not interested.”(Oh! yes, I just remembered she said she was also flattered.) But she said it with a sincere smile. I walked away feeling okay. If girls turn me down like that, I would approach way more. Absolutely.

Actual conversation between 2 female friends and me. A guy asked one of them out, and she turned him down. He took it and moved on. Then a few weeks later, he asked the other friend out. She had heard that the 1st one had turned him down and rejected him too. Then, in front of me, they laughed heartily over how pathetic this guy was; perhaps he was getting rejected by every girl in the neighborhood and expected me to join in mocking him. I was so annoyed with both of them. It was a real eye-opener. So no, just "shooting your shot" without worrying about the consequences is not good advice. You risk being labeled a creep and for that word to spread. Your reputation is everything, and once you're labeled a creep, that sticks forever. Even good, sensible women will turn you down after that. Men get one shot, and our reputations are getting more vulnerable by the day.

I'm glad you mentioned the whole thing with disabilities, because I have High-Functioning Autism. Before I was diagnosed, people used to label me as rude, selfish, lazy and a plethora of other terms because I'd misread social cues or be so absorbed in my own little world that I didn't understand that certain things weren't appropriate. Even though I've had a tremendous amount of therapy and made improvements since then, the thing about Autism is that you will always be prone to misinterpreting certain things. Given how sensitive the world has become, it's even more nerve-wracking as a person with Autism to interact with the opposite sex because one misunderstanding could land me in trouble.

As a shy introvert myself, I've tried making a genuine effort to push outside my comfort zone and put myself out there. It made no difference.

Another reason I get fed up with approaching women is: They flirt with you with eye contact, etc. When you go up to them, you realize they only want attention, and you feel like a dumbass. Nowadays, it happens a lot. And the number of women who have this behavior and later you find out they have a boyfriend, it's crazy.

Regarding rejection, I've been told repeatedly that: Men are used to rejection and it doesn't hurt them. They encounter rejection every day, it is no big deal, and rejection should not be a big deal. If rejection hurts the man, something is wrong with the man, confirming he should be rejected for having such low confidence and low self esteem. I've heard this consistently for 40+ years, in all walks of life; at weddings, parties, work, church, business conventions, you name it. Overall, it is like the setup scene in Tootsie. In this, Jessica Lange's character says she wants a man who is sexually aggressive. When the Dustin Hoffman character does exactly this, she is of course, insulted and repelled. That is a movie, but it mirrors real life. Women have fantasies about how they want to be approached, but in reality, they don't. The whole Mee Too movement has spiraled out of control, from don't have sexual harrassment, to anything is harassment and bad intent on the man. The default assumption is the man is bad.

I have been called creepy, crusty, old man. I served in the Army, worked in Law Enforcement, and was a Firefighter/EMT, and women chased me all the time. Even when I was married and they would still try getting close to me. I was injured twice on the job and eventually had to retire at an early age. I'm 53 now and my wife passed 8 years ago. No one approaches me, no one smiles and if I try to talk to them, I get a raised upper lip and sometimes they call me a pedo. I completely stopped looking at women, I will not approach them, and I will not say hello. I will say goodbye. I'm not interested in anyone ever.

I actually want to share an experience of my own. It's a bit unique from what everyone else is sharing. I was exercising in my University Gym and hitting the heavy bag, and a young woman approached me. She did not say anything but rather just looked at me for a moment, and I smiled and asked if she wanted to use the bag herself. She said yes, but mostly just kept talking to me. I personally like conversations with people and did not mind. However, I was confused, believing she wanted to use the bag and not talk. I asked again if she wanted to use it as I was going to do some stretching, and she responded yes, but instead, I just lazily hit it once or twice. It eventually became obvious she just wanted to speak to me, which, though flattered, I was mostly trying to do my own thing. She kept talking to me, and I engaged in conversation with her, but was kind of taken aback since this was the first time I have been approached while at the gym. She was nice but just a bit awkward, but I totally understood that that happens. She walked with me while the gym was closing, and I stated I had to go to the locker rooms and told her it was nice speaking with her. I got my things and spent about 10 mins in there before walking out. She was standing outside near the locker rooms, and I was somewhat taken aback. When I walked near her, I said in an awkward, hushed tone, "Hey again" and she immediately answered "Can I have your number so we can talk in the future?" At that point, it immediately became apparent she was just nervous and did not know how to really approach someone. I responded sure but really because it was so out of the blue. Afterwards, she texted me at 7 am the next day saying it was nice speaking to me but I was in bed sleeping and those texts woke me up. The reason I mentioned this story was because it was very weird experiencing this but that is all it was for me. It's just awkward and weird. I didn't think the girl was creepy or weird herself. She tried to put herself out there and I really admired that but she didn't do so very well which happens sometimes. I COULD NOT even begin to imagine how bad it would be if roles were reversed. The guy would be labeled as very creepy and a stalker which I get but I think what sometimes woman forget is that some guys, and people in general, aren't so socially skilled and had no intention in making the other party uncomfortable. Long story I know, thanks for reading.

Im 34 and have stopped approaching women completely. I dont even have female friends anymore. It's not worth it. It's really not. It's so bad these days that if I saw a woman in trouble, i would hesitate to help her because even trying to do the right thing can get you in serious trouble. Life is so much more peaceful now. At this point, I've just accepted that I'll be alone. Maybe I'll meet someone naturally and spontaneously someday, but I'm 100% done trying. Not to mention that as a man dating is extremely expensive, and I have zero interest in spending my time and money that way.

I work a glass fabrication job and earn 40k a year before OT. I'm 5'5. I am not fat but not shredded and play airsoft on some weekends on top of 3 days a week at the gym. I'm not on the radar, and the fear of being asked to leave a place of business because someone said I was being creepy is my biggest fear in modern times. I just keep to myself, keep my head forward, headphones in, and finish my business before going home to my dogs that I would give the world for.

I had a man approach me in the subway to talk to me. I didn't take offense: he was polite and seemed nice. I didn't give him my number because I'm 44 years old and I don't even think he was 30 years old. But I have to say, being approached with respect and kindness really made my day.

When I was in my late 20s/early 30s I approached women often and showed respect. But I wasn't labeled "the creep", I was seen as "the nice guy" or "too nice" and was rejected quite a lot back in those days. After I was casted away all these years by women, I learned to enjoy the silence and peace that came with loneliness. I am to a point in life that I am now set in my own ways. I do not hate women nor do I have fear of rejection. I just do not see an outcome in my life where I could reasonably negotiate giving away my peaceful life for someone else.

I am SO glad you brought this up. I think some women's addictions to social media and the ensuing exposure to so many real stories about guys being creepy has whipped them up into paranoia or even thinking that they can get their 15 minutes of social media glory about putting dudes on blast who approach them. I do see female friends blasting out DM screenshots and a lot of these guys ARE creepy and deserve it, but some of them seem so innocent to me and I feel bad for the guys. "Ugh another compliment in my DMs" when it's just a guy saying he liked her jacket or something. OKAY we get it- you think you're hot. As for real-life approaches, a rejection to me used to be of a polite variety. You just took the hint and moved on. But lately I have noticed (and this could even be from joking with someone at a bar or remarking about something in order to start a conversation) that if the girl is with her friends I will get much more rude reactions. Last week at a bar I had a girl give me this dramatic silent sour face when I made joke about the song that had just come up. Then 15 minutes later she and her friends (who weren't even that attractive) just bumrushed this group of 6' 4" guys who wanted nothing to do with them. They had these huge in-love smiles on their faces and wouldn't even take the rejection from the guys. These 5/10 girls are going all-in just for a few minutes of attention from 9/10 guys who have little interest in them. I think I know where these girls will be in 10 years- on Reddit crying about how they can't get a man or how they are repulsed by and fixing to divorce their mid-range accountant husbands. The game now is so messed up and anything beyond a lukewarm attempt at conversating now, I am backing off completely and only engaging with women who approach me. It sounds so bitter, and I am not a bitter guy. I've been with a LOT of women, I've gotten mine, so I feel for the young guys way more. The game just isn't fun anymore.

When your fear of rejection or failure has, over time, been proven to be warranted, it gets hard to not lose hope.

When society rejects you throughout your entire life, for just simply being yourself, you eventually just stop interacting altogether. Rejection is only a normal feeling if you've dealt with it enough. However, it will just make you stop interacting if you've dealt with it enough.

Now a days everyone has to mind their own business and go about their day without trying to interact with anyone at all only when it's necessary. It also puts you on a safe ground by not approaching strangers that you never met before.

When I was a teenager I was worried they'd say no. As I grew older that fear left me and a new fear replaced it, the fear they'd say YES! 😂

One of my former coworkers got suspended and forcibly transferred to another department because the younger woman in his department reported him for "being creepy" because he was overly helpful with her and super talkative. He was like that with everyone, including myself, and everyone knew that it was just his personality type. But the management still punished him because she demanded it. I had several other coworkers that were suspended or fired for similar situations. One gal at work managed to get three of my coworkers fired, all for the same allegations. Each time, it was just a dude talking with her and interacting with the her like anyone else and not walking on eggshells. Made my decision to stay single a lot easier. Less chance of losing my job. (Eventually quit that job but still don't date or approach)

I'll give you another reason Courtney. It's that a bunch of times women just don't seem approachable. They're frequently running around, they seem uptight, they hardly ever smile, and they are more than likely with their friends in groups, which is a major no-no for most guys. They just don't seem friendly enough to approach. Not all women before someone tries to come at me. But a lot of them do this.

I struggle with women pretty bad and I don't approach because I don't want to be called creepy. I went out with my friend to a bar for the first time in my life yesterday, I'm 23, so I could start getting myself out there. I didn't drink though. I talked to a few girls, but it didn't go well. One of the girls looked like she was repulsed by thr fact I even approached her. The one that confused me the most was when this girl came up to my friend and invited us to hang with her and her friend. The girl that came up to him was obviously there for my friend but was all over the both of us. I mean it was kinda wild. I was trying to talk to another girl with my buddy there and she was all over me and him. Now, I'm not complaining or nothing but close to the end of the night, she was standing next to me and was mad close and was putting her hands on my shoulder and arm n shit. I went to adjust myself and bumped her hip n she was all like "DONT FLIRT WITH ME". I'm just so confused man. It's like she was touching and feeling all over me and my friend. I means she danced all over my friend n everything. She was in it frfr, again, no complaining lol. I just dont understand how I was flirting. Idk. Edit: she also asked me for my number when my friend was in tha restroom but I said no. Cuzz like y'know, tha homie..

It used to be that the worse thing that could happen is a woman politely declining. Now, that's the best thing that can happen. The common result these days is humiliation. The worst thing that can happen today is being MeTooed. There's no reason for a man to approach a woman he doesn't know.

"My mother didn't breast feed me, she just wanted to be friends" Rodney Dangerfield

That is a VERY TRUE assessment. Men are tired of being instantly rejected as "creepy" or whatever. Courtney hits the nail on the head.

I completely stopped approaching women years ago and feel I'm better off in my life ever since. When I was younger, the whole rejection aspect was terrifying, but now polite/respectful rejections don't bother me. However, there were a few times that rejections I received were actually malicious with a clear intent on public humiliation. Like how dare that I even considered approaching her. Those stung deep. There's a core issue at play here in the dynamics between men and women. I think it's something like 85% of women only want to be with the top 10% of men (the exact numbers may be off, but not by much). For example, women who are 4s - 6s feel like they're really 9s or 10s and therefore only want men who are also 9s or 10s (which is less than 10% of the male population). There's a dark trend with having standards that are too high and unrealistic. They gotta be > 6" tall, gotta have a 6-figure income, gotta have the chiseled physique, etc. At the same time, a lot of those women are themselves out of shape, yet demand to be treated like princesses/queens, and use sex as leverage. There is no accountability in modern society. And that has unfortunately led us to the state we're in with movements like MGTOW and a lack of desire to even attempt to initiate dating/courting relationships. The other 15% of women who do want to be approached and don't have unrealistic standards are feeling the pain that has resulted from how the 85% have been behaving for the past few decades. Courtney is spot on calling these bad women out who have ruined it for everyone else. And you know what is ultimately to blame? The modern day 3rd wave feminism. I'm not anti-feminist in the least. Everyone, regardless of gender, should have equal rights, equal opportunities, equal treatment. But modern feminism isn't about equality. It's about denigrating all males period and promoting that all females are superior, regardless of the content of their character and how they behave in life. This is the antithesis of equality and is leading to the downfall and collapse of western civilization. BTW, I raised my daughter since age 12 as a single parent full time through her attending college. She's an adult now and in a healthy long-term relationship with her boyfriend. He treats her right and she treats him right, and I could not be more proud of the young adult she has become. Because of this, part of me does have hope that maybe not all is lost in our society and with real introspective and accountability, our civilization could overcome this dark age we're living now right now.

My theory is this: Modern American/Canadian women have been convinced by radical feminism that a man being attracted to their beauty is shallow, misogynistic, and even sexist. Cold approaching women is a turn off in modern society. After all “he doesn’t even know me” and “he just thinks I’m hot and there’s so much more to me than that” Knowing this is what’s spinning through womens heads is the reason I always let women come to me. It’s becoming frustrating though as these women are beautiful and fun, but display many masculine traits outside of approaching people they’re interested in first which has been the mans role for centuries. Im tired of dating masculine women. And I know deep down, they are tired of being masculine. Feminism has got to chill.

Women are definitely creepy too. I had this lawyer chick (friend of my buddy) try to stalk me and find out my wealth, etc. after our mutual friend tried to set us up. Had met at bbq gathering but hadn’t even gone on a date yet and she’s creeping. My buddy’s wife ratted her out to me. I have my info pretty well hidden online and apparently the stalker only found my real estate… which she (who rents) thought was sub-standard (It’s worth 450k now per zillow 😂). She got immediately told off and blocked. Apparently that drove a wedge, she’s not invited to their events anymore. 😬

Over the last month or two, I've been learning about this war on men and masculinity, and it's been so eyeopening. I've wept reading and listening to these videos about how men are mistreated. I can't believe they have to deal with that on a regular basis. Men, know that there are female advocates out there for you. I'm so sorry if you've had a bad experience, and I hope it gets better for you soon!

I once extended my hand to help a girl getting off of the bus so that she does not slide on an icy ground, she looks at me as a creep. I instantly regretted it. Since then, I stopped offering them help in public. If helping in public make you look creep, making a conversation can get you SWAT.

The worst is when one girl thinks you’re creepy and they spread the word to all her friends and now everyone gives you the side eye.

I did my share of approaching women in my late teens and 20s. I had success 3 times out of 50 times or so…. As I approach 30 years old, I’m exhausted and I officially quit. The fear of dying alone goes numb after a while. Isolation becomes addicting.

It gets tough when every woman u ask out tells u she’s already got somebody. After awhile u just start assuming there all taken.

My pronouns are, "I don't want to go to court!" :) Btw thanks for advocating for men in a kind way and also, communicating to women kindly. Some people with your kind of platform are harsh and it creates more conflict than progress or learning lessons on both ends. You're a great mediator, thank you!

Story time: When I was probably 13 or so, had just hit puberty, I had a crush on a girl. I didn't know her or anything, and we had barely spoken, but I thought she was cute. At some point I was at my friend's place and he was skyping his girlfriend. They asked me if I had a crush on any girls and I said yes, but didn't reveal who it was. They pestered me until I told them who it was, and then said things like "Aw, that's cute. You should ask her out". Literally the next morning as I'm putting my stuff away in the little open cubbies we had in homeroom, my crush walks up to me, visibly upset, in front of the class, and says "Do you like me?". I said "Yeah, I do", and then she goes "Ew..." and walks away. I've had a crippling fear of embarrassment and rejection ever since. I somehow managed to have a girlfriend for a few months when I was 19, but otherwise I've only been into a few women who I waited far too long to ask out and they either had lost interest by that point or were never interested in the first place. I am trying to work on myself now and try dating again, but the current social climate really doesn't give me much hope. RIP. Edit: forgot to mention I'm 30 now.

I have a feeling this video is the endgame for all men. What it all boils down too. I met someone 2 years ago who wasn't creeped out when I approached her - but sucks she turned out to be very narcissistic. Taking a break from relationships, I have noticed an increase of these situations lately. You have to look like a Giga Chad in order to approach. I recall someone even back in 2008 when a random woman was yelling saying she won't mind if a Hugh Jackman came up to her and swept her away. I avoid those types of woman like the plague ever since, and from the looks of it - its gotten worse lol

I definitely do not approach any woman anymore . I give a small smile and some eye contact and for the most they don’t wanna be bothered or look like they don’t wanna be bothered. I’m 46 I’m used to rejection that’s not a thing anymore. I was married for 20 years and I’m single now and the game has 100 percent changed from 22 years ago. I’m good staying out of the market for now.

I’m afraid to approach a girl as well. I’ve been played a lot and tired of rejection. I’m a very authentic and genuine guy, but a lot of the time, it’s not worth pursuing a woman because they’re becoming increasingly difficult to deal with.

Women's weaponization of words has derailed most of my desire to even try to date again. The simple act of smiling at a woman and saying "have a nice day" gets you labeled or insulted. We're told "be interesting" and when we ask what that looks like to a woman, she either refuses to answer or gives a non-answer like "You should already know this" (with the obligatory eye roll.) We're told we're weak for showing emotions and we're told we're cold because we don't show enough emotions. We're told not to approach and we're told if we don't approach we lack confidence. Recently a woman showed high interest in me. We had a few conversations and things seemed to be going well. One night she texted and asked how I was, and since I wanted to be transparent with her I said I was feeling depressed. She said "You should do something that makes you happy." I know she's not obligated to care, but rather than try to understand my feelings she went straight to the "You need to fix your problem" mode. This is another example of why men don't share feelings with women. I never spoke to her again. There are plenty of men out there (myself included) who can always be better, and it looks to me like many men are sincerely trying to do just that. It's time women also took that advice and rather than get defensive when they hear it, be introspective and willing to do the work.

Women genuinely seem disinterested even after you've made the approach and broken the ice. The conversation is usually one-sided and its all just really draining after youve heard "no" in just about every way imaginable. For that reason I've decided to throw in the towel. Honestly when i see attractive women in public i avoid even looking at them. Dating just isn't "fun" as a guy, not for me at least. Just a bunch of anxiety followed by one sh!t test after another. I've learned to love my own company and enjoy other things while being single. There's better things to do with life that don't involve feeling like you're walking a tightrope for a woman's approval.

The pain of rejection is not the main reason why men don't approach, most men are aware that you have to maintain a respectable reputation in order to be successful. Randomly approaching women and accumulating rejections makes for a bad reputation in your social environment. Rejection is not just a defeat to get over, it is a brand no one wants to associate with because it marks you a loser. Reputation is sticky, better not to pollute it.

The problem with online dating is that at least 70% of the women on there are only looking for attention, not dates, not a relationship. Unless you fall into a very small bracket of the top, top percentage of men you are absolutely wasting your time and money.

I’m married but I feel sorry for single guys. We’re told on tik tok, IG and fb that we aren’t supposed to approach women at the gym, the grocery store, on the street or pretty much anywhere else. Look overseas men!

As a guy who didn't find his soul mate and get married until his mid-30's, here's a couple reasons guys are backing off: 1- if you are shot down often enough or consistently enough, you tend to give up. 2- if a woman brutally rejects a guy in a public place, every other guy watching is going to stay away. 3- if a guy checks a woman out, walks over to talk to her, and gets called a creep, stalker, player, etc, that can easily cause unwanted problems. 4- Some guys (especially those who have been mercilessly bullied throughout their entire school career) lack self-confidence and don't realize their own worth. Something nobody seems to take into account is that men are just as vulnerable to past trauma as women. I was bullied from kindergarten to graduation. After being the victim of some very cruel pranks (by both guys AND gals), consistently shot down simply because I was at the bottom of the social ladder (and dating me would have been an instant KO to anyone's social status), i basically gave up. I can guarantee there's a lot more guys like me than you realize. We might not reveal our pain, but the scars never disappear.

In video games, at my job, and in my relationships irl I get to pick between being a hero or villain. In dating I have to prove I'm not a villain to someone that's assumed to be a hero. No thanks.

Thank you for addressing the "worst thing she can do is say No" fallacy. I kind-of "missed the boat" years ago, in terms of looks, so while I have no trouble interacting with women professionally, a good rule is "speak only when spoken to" i.e. don't initiate a conversation.

Honestly, it seems to me the "creepy" is just yet another snappy insult that modern women want to hurl at all men. They feel self-righteous and enjoy insulting men with no accountability. All men are supposed to be abused for some obscure reasons that don't really matter.

I'm a 41 year old virgin never met a woman who wanted to be my friend. The most painful and miserable and lonely and difficult thing to accept. Women do not look at me never speak to me no woman has ever asked me my name. My mother is the only woman who has ever hugged me. Every single woman I encounter make me feel like a disgusting man. Undesirable unwanted and useless. I do not blame them I'm not angry I'm extremely sad and defeated I understand they have a huge selection of men in this world and I understand there's always another guy with better looks more money bigger house and bigger truck. So why the he'll would you approach a woman today when they have so many men to chose from who are better than you in every way.

It's nice when someone talks to you like a human and not yells how much of a beta you are for being rejected. You have a really good approach, thank you for your insight!

I think a lot of women get satisfaction from humiliating men who are interested in them, or just in general. All the success I’ve had with dating has been from women approaching me first. That seems to be the way to go nowadays.

I have an uncommon spinal deformity so it is almost pointless for me to approach women like that I would be labeled as a creep instantly and people love to make negative assumptions about my body. When I was younger I was harassed so much for it that it made me want to be reclusive in my 20s. It seems hopeless that anyone would look past that, it seems like the deal breaker for everyone

Here's where I'm at now. I'm 29, introvert, shy, socially anxious. For most of my life I was in love with some girl. There were girls who I've never even approached, there were times either I confessed or privately told about it to a "friend" who then spread the word around the class in school and the others either mocked me for it or were just laughing at me behind my back. With other girls I previously formed a friendship and when I confessed they shut me down immediately, one of them was seriously rude to me. There was also one who really made me think she was in love with me. Our "friendship" even got to a point where said things to me like "I miss you" and "I love you"... but when I wanted us to be more than friends, she insisted on that she never considered me more than a friend. Actually, I had to comfort her because she was devastated that our friendship is now ruined. So, it was all hell. With the last girl, when I was 23, I did everything I could to not fall in love with her because at that point I realised if I'm in love with someone I screw up for sure. I tried to be more strategic. She had a boyfriend for a while but I decided to befriend the boyfriend so that I can be around her. Also the guy didn't seem to be the loyal type. I was right, they were together for a year then the guy left her for someone else. Long story short, I asked her out, she said she only liked me as a friend. Anyway, it took me some time to get over it, but finally I realised something. All my life I was in love with love itself, the idea of it, and projected onto someone I found attractive. I thought a lot about this and I think in my childhood, all those Hollywood movies and fairy tales showed me that the hero can't find happiness until he/she finds love. And then the two of them live happily ever after, right? Well, I definitely felt unhappy. I never had any siblings, didn't really have lasting friendships or friends that I could trust or count on... and I was always shy and awkward around people. So there was this idea that "finding love solves everything". Well, it just gave me misery. And the thing I realised is that labeling a romantic partner as "your other half" is not healthy. I felt that I can't be happy because I'm not complete. But here's the trap: expecting to achieve happiness from another person just won't work. Even if I had managed to get a girlfriend, I don't think it would have been a healthy relationship. I finally decided that I need to find my own happiness alone. And then find someone who found her own happiness so we can share our happiness with each other. (I'm not trying to spout universal truths here, I'm talking about what will hopefully work for me.) So that's what I've been trying to focus on for the past 2-3 years. I'm not there yet, but I definitely feel better. I don't care about girls now. Even if there's someone I find attractive, I just couldn't care less. And it's soooo liberating. Well, that's the story of why I don't approach women. :D

I stopped approaching altogether right out of high school. It's never EVER been worth it. All my relationships are basically from casual conversations or them being interested in me and I'm completely OK with that. It's not worth the stress and waste of time approaching women. They are the selectors after all, let them choose.

Yes, I am a failure on all levels. I picked the wrong major. I failed at engaging in crucial conversations. I burned out of civil engineering at the age of 32 after years of nightime chest pains, not being able to look at myself in the mirror, and having nerveous breakdowns by afternoons. I got tired of pretending to be someone I was not. I am now 57 and worked on low level, near minimum wage jobs since I resigned from engineering. So far, I have interacted with only five women during my life and each one ghosted me after a relative short time. I have a congenital severe hearing loss from birth. I never really had any father figure, except for a cool trombone instructor (I ended my university years with two credits short of a minor in music). I am a square peg in a round hole. Clearly, I have nothing to offer any woman, so I do not waste any of their time by putting myself on the "dating" chopping block. Sigh. I live in isolation and can easily imagine myself being thrown out onto the street to join many other useless, invisible homeless men.

What I find very funny is that even if I’m just polite or kind to a woman, let’s say in a store or a dental hygienist, they seem to think that I’m about to hit on them so they bring up a boyfriend or husband or what not. I have a girlfriend mind you and I had no intention whatsoever to try to pick them up, I’m just being polite. It’s just how women are wired today “everybody wants me”…strange.

It's funny how she said what you need to do in order to meet new people. What she doesn't understand is that her advice doesn't apply to men. Guys will approach her anytime, anyplace just because she exists. While for a guy, even if you start some hobby or whatever, you still need to put yourself out there and do all the work

I'm 54 with two sons and a daughter. My daughter who is the eldest actually had the gall to admit that she led guys on, got a drink out of them and then said she was gay. My sons on the other hand are growing up and are scared that they will get accused of being creepy. I've had to tell be very careful when wanting to talk to girls. As for my daughter she wanted to go out for a pub meal with me. We went to my favourite pub which was a few miles away from home. You should have seen her face when I told her I wouldn't be paying for her meal. She went and sat in the car whilst I had steak and chips.

I won't even look towards women when I'm in public unless they approach me first. I'm not looking for a relationship but I also don't want to be labeled as creepy so I keep my eyes to myself.

This video is spot on. I am 33 and have never had any experience with women. I am a shy introvert. I've always been afraid to be labeled as creepy if I walk up to someone and just introducing myself. And with me not having any experience at this age and given how the dating culture is today, I don't think I would be able to succeed because I wouldn't know how to initiate a conversation the right way that would lead to a date. And with no experience in dating, I'm always afraid that I would say something creepy without knowing it. The dating culture seems too intimidating to me from the looks of it. I don't want to be labeled as something that I'm not because that will put me in a hole, and I would probably not show myself to anyone as much as I can if that happens. God forbid! I hope the dating culture changes for the better in the future.

This is a great video from a woman's perspective. I am a brown Native American at about 6'1 and 222 lbs. I do a lot of hiking and gym workouts, and I am athletic. So, when I walk around society I sometimes sense women who get frightened by my appearance. For example, one time I was simply doing laundry in Denver. I was carrying a full load and walking to my truck. Then a woman saw me and immediately did a sprint to her car in sheer fright. Another time, I lived in Scottsdale, AZ and every time I got to my apartment door, the young woman living across from me would rush to her door and lock it. The "locking the door at the sight of the Big Injun" is usually perceived as white racism among minorities - the classic "Racist White Karen" scenario common on viral RU-vid videos. When I was younger, I would have agreed. But I have now mellowed out in middle age. I also studied public health. I know that women do commonly deal with sexual harassment, stalking, assault, etc. I empathize with the #MeToo movement and recognize the validity of the data. I also grew up with sisters who are petite and hyperfeminine. Most people don't think we are brother and sisters, but we are. As the protective older, big brother, I learned to recognize that women do deal with harassment. With that said, I am stuck in a dilemma. Although I empathize with #MeToo, I often experience women who "lock the doors" or get extremely frightened when I am simply running errands, going to my apartment, going to the library, etc. I don't generally see them as racist like I did when I was young decades ago. I just see it as a tragedy of society - the experience of sexual harassment and assault and related horror stories put many women on guard. With that said, there are exceptions. For example, I hiked up Piestewa Peak in Phoenix many times. One time I went up in the dark, and at the top a woman hiking alone without a flashlight actually said hello to me. I've met similar women while hiking in Colorado or New Mexico - they don't seem "frightened of the Big Injun" on the remote trail. Other times, when I was taking STEM classes, I developed a reputation as a serious student. Sometimes, young women would take the initiative to talk to me or greet me on campus since they knew me from class. So, there are exceptions. But there is a mix of experiences. Now, when I walk around I maneuver to avoid getting too close to young women alone. One time a woman was coming out of an office in Scottsdale, and I was going to the dentist. When I saw her, I veered far away from her to go completely on the other side of the parking lot even though the fastest way to the dentist was to walk down the lane near her. Another time, I was walking on campus at U. of Florida near Lake Alice. I saw a young woman walking near the lake on my side of the street coming my way. So, I just went across the street to avoid proximity. I do that a lot. When I do laundry at apartments and see a young woman alone, I will just veer on a path that leads me out of sight if possible and just zig zag to the laundry so I don't have to get too close and frighten her even though I don't want to do that and am simply doing laundry. The "zig zag, avoid proximity near young women" has become a pattern of my life. I aim for the neutral zone with no conflicts, and one of the key factors is maintaining distance. I leave it to women if they want to talk and avoid approaching them. The only time I ever approached a woman on a hiking trail recently was to warn her of a rattlesnake on the descent below (for her) I had seen while ascending up to Piestewa Peak. I figured it was an emergency to warn her of that rattlesnake. With that said, women who do want to talk to me usually take the initiative. I met women at the gym or in graduate school like that - simple interaction with their initiation. It's safe when they make the first move (in my opinion). Then there is no confusion. By contrast, at work I try my best to have the meetings and communication necessary to get the project tasks completed. This means I often meet with women in management positions alone. I have no problem with that. Unfortunately, some men have gone to the extreme where even at work they avoid women. That is where I draw the line. I do believe in work interaction. The avoidance I do is outside work in social situations such as simply doing laundry or going to the dentist - I avoid proximity.

I'm glad you covered this topic. There are certain women who are overly sensitive. Men have to deal with rejection a lot and it makes it harder with this behavior. Women can't complain if the "right guy" doesn't approach them if they call men out for just regular approaches

I actually try to avoid running into a woman I am attracted to, because my previous interactions with her haven't been very encouraging, and the thought that I will be seen as creepy if I run into her too often is definitely a concern for me.

Imagine dropping out when so many people call you toxic just for being born.

As an INFJ guy, approaching a girl in public areas, like on public transportation, is really intimidating and the whole situation is gonna be extremely awkward. In my opinion, if you want to date her and not getting rejected, that girl must have some level of interest in a guy at first but didn't have enough courage to approach him first. But if a guy just randomly approaches her, say hi, and asked for her Instagram or phone number, most of the time that guy will be seen as creepy or weirdo.

I'm 71 and gave up 30 years ago. I was a male model and successful actor in local theatre often getting write ups in the paper. I was a blond, blue eyed Southern California surfer. I didn't have squat for money but they didn't know that, hahaha. I was also an Ivy League graduate, from a family with, shall we say, significant resources, although I didn't ever rely on, or seek that, or even think about it. In my my mind I was just another guy trying my best to get somewhere in my profession. But this was California, and no one knew any of that either and wouldn't have cared. The point is, I was what they call now high-value, even if I didn't myself think so in those days. I was also extremely shy and a complete introvert. But I tried to overcome it. the modeling and acting came from my attempt to grow past it and helped. Nevertheless, my self esteem was destroyed by what I would experience there, as you'll see. Even in the prime of my youth, in the late 70s, I seldom approached women because I never got a look or a smile or a flirtatious sign. Instead I got the most angry, mean looks of hate and revulsion. Like a combination of about to throw up or scream for a cop. Everywhere, passing on the street, in the grocery store, at social gatherings, and worst of all in the clubs. That cut into my soul and hurt so much. It wears on you. Over and over and over, what is reflected back to you from the women in the world is that you are scum, a hideous, dangerous monster. It's not easy to maintain any level of self confidence receiving that endlessly day after day. I always thought it was me. Why did they hate me, they don't even know me? It was actually somewhat of a relief when I heard it wasn't just me, and it even had a name, Resting Bitch Face. I had often felt it was me that caused it, or my subconscious psychological filters that made me see it that way. Even in bars, dance clubs, so called pickup scenes, that's all I saw, aimed at me. I rarely, almost never, approached them at all. Anywhere. I found it not only mean, but off putting. Why would I ever want to spend time with a woman with that much visible anger, which read as hatred and fear of men. It read as the non-verbal message: "get the hell away from me!"? But still it hurt deeply and compounded over and over... If I got my courage up and just went for it, crossed the 1000 mile wide dance floor in front of the whole crowd, and asked someone to dance, almost always rejection. Occasionally they were just not up for dancing at the moment, and that was clear, no harm no foul, but more often she'd slash me with some vicious cutting remark, and she and her friends would laugh. If I stuck around, brushing it off, which was tough, I'd see them talking to other people in the club, glancing at me, and then snickering. This just snowballed and snowballed. This is already way too long, but I got carried away setting the scene, and I'm also a writer. I'll try to wrap up quickly. By the time I hit 40, I was having deep depressions, suicidal ideation, and was falling apart. Then I got evicted during the housing boom, as they wanted to cut the house I rented into condos. My 95 year old grandmother was living alone back east and had a fall, so I gave up my California surfer dream and acting dream and went back and lived with her. I never even tried to go out again and meet local people. When she passed a year later, I bought a little cabin in the country and I've been here alone for 30 years now. I'm happy but lack touch and kindness. I don't get lonely surprisingly, but I do miss companionship and just someone to talk to. I don't know why or how I came across this video, and others like it, popped up in my suggestions, but these algorithms somehow can read minds. LOL It's tough for all of us. Always has been and got way worse when the *ahem, wink wink, nudge, nudge* "cultural shift" that started in the early 70s consumed the women in my generation, then spread across the world, just as I was coming of age seeking dates. It just gets more and more extreme. Now we're toxic and all in on the patriarchy, controlling and oppressing women because we look down on them as inferior and believe we are "entitled" to their attention and respect, and of course their submission and sexual favors on command. I just turned 71. I'm now very 'financial secure' due to my own earnings saved by 25 years of solo living, a low cost lifestyle, and a surprisingly large inheritance. l can go and live anywhere and buy anything I want. I have no interest in material possessions though. I could provide for a wife, and children and be a full time partner and father. But all I want is someone who will be kind to me. To notice me, to appreciate me. Just to smile at me. Not sneer at me like I'm a creep. Old white straight men are the most reviled and despised and blamed demographic on the planet. Yet we're supposed to have a lock on all the power, and privileges and rule the world. So Courtney, do you think I should get myself out there again and just try? (p.s. Courtney, I really appreciate your videos and understanding, immensely. I'm not trying to be snarky, just realistic. It meant everything to come across these the past few days and gives me hope. Thank you so much.)

Those women who consider any guy they are not attractive to as creepy are plenty. I was on a bus and seated facing towards the exit and when the door opened there were some girls on the streets. My mind was on my plans for the rest of the day when one of the girls screamed at me saying "Hey stop staring at me a**hole". I was just looking straight in the sky and this girl thought I was giving her dirty looks. The girl was worse than ugly and I was tempted to blurt out some profanity but my conscience told me to let it go.

In reply to a couple of similar points that Courtney made, which are all well taken. First, being seen as "creepy" or some very negative reaction is a real deterrent to not only approaching a girl but also making a move physically after a number of dates. Many times, I can sense when a girl wants me to initiate a kiss or a touch, but not always or it can be unclear how far she wants you to go. I have had situations where I can tell and so I take them in my arms and kiss them and we go as far as she desires, which is clear. On the other hand, I have had situations where I don't sense any sexual interest and then the girl does something odd such as lunge at me or lie down on the floor in front of me. I have been so taken off-guard by these antics that I have frozen. This type of lack of clarity came up in one particular case that still haunts me. I was in a very serious relationship where I had very strong romantic feelings for the girl. We would kiss some but that was about it. Then one night she asked me to spend the night after a late night date. I had to drive about 70 miles to get back to where I lived at the time and so that was the pretext of her inviting me to spend the night at her house. We kissed a little on the couch but it did not progress, as usual. She then showed me to the spare bedroom and she gave me a toothbrush and some toothpaste. I watched her carefully but did not sense anything sexual off of her. Even though I had strong feelings for her, I sensed something was not quite on an even keel with her. I knew that she liked me but there was something behind the scene that I could feel was interfering with her opening up to me more. In fact, she had not opened up to me at all in terms of her past or her family or much of anything. Usually, a girl whom I am dating goes into a lot of depth and detail with me by this time in a relationship. I later found out that she came from an extremely wealthy family. When I discovered that, I could see one reason for her being hesitant to disclose her family background with a man until she could fully trust him over an extended time. But there was more that I was sensing. The next morning when I got up, she greeted me in a friendly way and we sat on the couch snuggled up together before she fixed us something to eat. After a few minutes, she asked me why I did not enter her bedroom naked and jump into bed with her and make love to her. I was shocked out of my mind by her looking into my eyes and demanding to know why I did not push myself into her bedroom uninvited. I said point blank, "If I had any indication that is what you wanted, I would have done that very thing, but I did not get any hints from you to do any such a thing. I had thought of it and would have liked to join you in bed, but I was afraid of the possibility of you starting to scream when you saw me aroused and naked coming at you and then you calling the police." She smiled and we went onto something else. Then she showed me some pictures in an album taken while she was in college. This girl had an edge to her personality. She admired the character of Ann Kelsey on L.A. Law and acted a lot like her, sort of with a constant chip on her shoulder. When I saw one photo with her looking off into the distance, I said, "You look sensitive in that picture." She turned to me and said with anger in her voice, "Yeah, I used to be that way and then I found out that is not the way to be!!!" She closed up the album and stormed into the next room. When she came back, she said," Chris, I am not going to to cater to you!" in a very harsh and hostile tone. She went ahead and fixed us hamburgers but then during the entire meal, she just glared at me as if she hated me and repeated the same refrain, "Chris, I am not going to cater to you!!!" I became totally disoriented. She said at the end of the meal that she had to go to work, which she had already told me before this outburst. She repeated the refrain again as we walked out the door and she said it again as I got into my car. I never saw her again. That broke my heart, but I was not shocked. She had told me earlier that she had exploded on the guy whom she was dating just before me. He was a Navy flyer and had made a comment in jest about her less than perfect eyesight (I knew another guy previously who wanted to be a pilot and he was obsessed with strengthening his eyesight because at that time the military would not take men to train with less than 20/20 vision, so perfect eyesight is something constantly on pilots' minds and which they are anxious about). She told me that when he said that, she jumped off the couch and demanded that he leave immediately. That is when she turned to me. But then I got the same treatment a few months later from her. I suspect that I had accidentally stumbled into reminding her of another young man who had exploited her and hurt her deeply when she was in college, and she was exploding in anger toward this pilot and me with her real target being a jerk in her past. That residual anger is what I was sensing earlier and so guarded myself when being with her. I am afraid with the Sexual Revolution and casual dating, this sort of thing lies behind the current trend of women's cloistering themselves from men and over-reacting when men approach them or do something that reminds them of being taken advantage of sexually. This problem of damaged women is epidemic and is at the root of the difficulties that sincere men face in approaching women. It is rational for men to be extremely careful in how they do approach an attractive girl. This same problem came up in my marriage when my wife believed I was committing adultery, which I did not, every time I was a few minutes later than she had expected me to arrive home. Her first husband was a serial adulterer and his having a child with another woman ended my wife's marriage to him. She kept re-living that hurt with me even though I never gave her any rational basis for her thinking that I was not faithful to her.

Word of advise for any successful men out here….If you ever approach a lady and the first thing she asks you is what do you do??? Walk away because it’s obvious why she’s asking

The guys who would cat call, touch, or be overly sexual with women they don't know are not the ones afraid to approach women. Those are in that percentage who don't care and approach anyway. The men that have stopped approaching are the ones who are just looking or approaching and trying to talk to them or even getting a dirty look just from smiling at them. I think social media is a big part of othe problem. Two generations have grown up communicating through emojis rather than practicing social skills so openly social interactions seem creepy and offputting now because they have no practice or point of reference to compare.

I used to be more confident around women. Now I have a hard enough time just being in the presence of an attractive woman in public because I'm "automatically" labeled a creep merely for being visible to her.

Sometimes you don’t even need to do anything. Not look. Not talk. And women will act like they are being harassed. All pretentious. Believe me. That didn’t happened to me when I was in shape and with hair. All of the sudden is like a metamorphosis that this people feel so uncomfortable. And so refreshing when you talk to that 100% that realise that you are just a person. I am not talking about trying anything. Forget about that. Just breathing in the same room.

I remember women making fun of guys that approached them and that put me off like crazy In high school and even college. In high school stuff like that would spread and it could humiliating, I felt so bad for them In college it doesn’t spread as much but definitely within your friend group(s), frats/stats, etc Post college / adult life, it still kinda happens but at a much smaller scale (but even screenshots, and gossip, etc, blehh). But the fact it even kinda happens is a bit disgusting and weird and kinda sad

As a women it's so easy to get a really good boyfriend. Just do the first step to the guy who's always super friendly to you at work or looks at you in a shy way. That's it. Boom. You're in a relation ship with a good guy. As a men you've to study women for at least a decade, learn how they think etc. pp. and then you've to play games, because if you're too honest and friendly you are in the friendzone, so you've to play to be a "cool guy" to be attractive. Men have to put so much on the table while for women most of the time only good looks are enough. Womens like Courtney who are intelligent and basically "old school" women barely exist anymore. Too many princesses nowadays making relation ships and dating way too complicated. If I like a girl I tell it to her. Simple as that. Sadly many/most womens can't deal with that or call you creepy. I miss the old times where relation ships meant to be happy for a whole life together and work together to be the best yourself.

I know I’m no oil painting. I’m only 5,2 and have a disability that gives me painful tremors in my legs so I always look sketchy and nervous. When I’m not. I m a naturally helpful and kind person . Not a simp I give respect to anyone who deserves itI I saw a beautiful woman at the shops and gave a polite smile. She called me a sexist . That can damage a person move than any disability

I think social media is a huge factor. Forget embarrassment, you’re botched approach might be put on the internet. A lot of young guys especially are socially awkward and the level of forgiveness at that age is minimal.

This get so enhanced when you have social anxiety and slight social awkwardness when around women. I’m 33 now and I’ve never been comfortable approaching women. Since going online and reading things on Reddit I think my entire perception of approaching has drastically changed my understanding. Sometimes there’s just too much info and I have no idea what’s true anymore and what isn’t. I don’t personally think I’m creepy. I’m shy, introverted, quiet. I take care of myself and I go to the gym 4 times a week and dress well. Own my own condo and have a career but the only thing that I don’t have is a sex life and or any “game” with women. I’m so tired of fearing the approach. Idk why but I just some do deathly afraid of showing my interest in a woman.

It isn't creepy when you're rich and attractive. Then you can do whatever you want, and every woman still wants you. Women shouldn't deny it - because it's true.

What I've noticed is that many women complain about getting constantly approached by men all the time. Which I think is perfectly understndable, as if I was constantly chased by random strangers every time I go out I would be annoyed and feel like I can't just relax when I'm out. On other hand, as man much of the advice I get is that I should frequently approach women. This seems like a major disconnect to me.

For me personally I rarely see one worth approaching.. plus like I say I don't want someone filming me for clout

girls flirt with me just to reject me lol i don't even bother anymore, and now my life is much less stressful and I'm drama free.

Been having that fear of approaching. My whole life im 22 years old. Im a big dude so the fear is even greater than normal. Fear that something bad is going to happen or i get attacked.