This Unhinged 90’s Movie Should Not Exist 

clearly chuck kept up his beach treasure-digging lifestyle so he could see the cop and further drive their romance plot

I honestly was more invested in the knife and hamburger skit than the scenes of the movie. The premise was much more promising.

The whole reason why chuck and the lifeguard got together was because they knew chuck and the officer were meant for each other, and this is the 1990’s, so they wouldn’t allow that.

10:55 I love that this implies that a homeless man should stop at like $10 like my dude doesn't even have a wallet to keep his money in

The most amusing thing about this 'movie' is that the cars are literally different makes, models, and even colors from shot to shot. It's like they went out of their way to have zero continuity.

Kurtis appearing from nothingness is proof he mastered being a magician after all these years

Kurtis being friends with Freddie Dredd is like when a character from your favourite TV show makes a cameo in your other favourite TV show

kurtis doesnt know about the pig beach in the bahamas

If I had a nickel for every time a Malcolm in the Middle actor ogled someone using x-ray goggles, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.

Kurtis calling the beach cop a pig and then immediately turning around and shipping him with the other guy is funnier than anything in this entire movie

11:00 Great lesson for children: people asking for help are just greedy liars.

6:50 I can imagine this movie suddenly taking a very dark turn, where instead of finding some cool x-ray goggles, Bobby instead finds the dismembered body of a murder victim in the suitcase

i love when kurtis says "back to the movie" sounding as if he also just had to watch the random demented sketch with us

I wish someone would compile all “I hardly know her” jokes kurtis ever said in one video

And the twist is that this entire movie was a lucid/fever/day dream Reese was having in a random filler episode of malcom in the middle.

kurtis wasn’t holding back this video, calling out drake for being a creep and the police for racial profiling within minutes of each other dhdhhdjd

the coolest spy gadget was definitely the microwave that could turn those little packets into a hamburger in 1 second

cannot believe "Stamper? I hardly know her" wasn't uttered a single time

The Dream jokes and then calling the goggles “goggies” was a MISTAKE Kurtis. You have summoned a beast and it’s only a matter of time before it arrives on your doorstep

I work in film editing and fun fact the beach "dubbing" is actually called ADR (Automated Dialogue Replacement) and we do it for at least one scene or line in every film. Its very common on outdoor scenes like that. Also the sound editing is not done until after the picture editing is done, so its likely the jump cut was put in there before the ADR because of the actor fucking up a line or something. Dialogue editors edit to the already "locked cut" of the movie and they wouldn't have been able to send it back to the editor to fix the picture to match the voice recording.

when i was in 2nd grade i was so obsessed with spy kids that i used to tell my classmates that my parents were secret spies and show them my fold-up binoculars. it was my entire personality and also i got pick-pocketted twice

The expression on Kurtis' face after "just fucking kiss already for me!" is the one of a man who just learned something new about himself.

There are actually 4 kids in Malcolm in the Middle. The oldest one is late high school/college age and away from home, but he still exists, Kurtis. Sheesh

Not them adding the pillow in his shirt AND having him wear a different color shirt. No continuity. 😭 22:20

Like every x-ray technology in movies, sometimes you see through the skin to bones and sometimes you just see through clothes. Sacrifice continuity for those artfully crafted perv scenes!

fun fact: in the 30’s there were beach cops who had tape measurers and would make sure women’s bathing suits weren’t shorter than 5 inches above the knee

I LOVE that scene with epic crash and him just casually crawling out of the sea unscathed, covered in seaweed, like he's a Terminator... ONLY to pivot to doing a relaxed hair flip and staring placidly off towards the horizon, as if he was thinking "Geez. I've gotta be more careful." Y'know, like you or I might think after almost tripping over slight rise in the sidewalk. Just kind of a weird day for him, I guess. We could all learn some lessons in taking things in stride from him. He's a certified badass for that. What an absolute dude. That's the most graceful recovery I have ever seen in my life. That man has 9 lives. One time, my cat slipped off of a little jut 15 feet up in the living room wall and she took it about as well as this man. I don't think even she knew or cared that she just fell 15 feet. Just carried right on like nothin happened. You yourself would think she planned it that way.

The chase scene was absolutely delightful. That shit sounded like I was in build mode in the Sims

'I think it's time for our secret agent, "we cant let the bad guys take us alive" pills'.. what a line

I like to imagine that in the Kurtis skitematic universe, everyone looks, sounds, and acts like Kurtis. Even the newborns.

Fun fact: those black ops guys actually do have x-ray goggles. They just use millimeter wave scanners instead of x-rays and the images produced don't look very sexy at all

17:27 love the jarvis johnson merch!!

the thumbnail alone leaves me both terrified and intrigued. Kurtis is so brave for sitting through these movies for our entertainment 😔✊🏽

That Black Sea joke was way outta pocket💀💀

The twist in the burger skit is better than any twist I've seen in a movie in many years.

Chuck stays on the beach so he can spend more time with Patterson 🥺

The cars changing models and colours in every shot is the most outrageously hilarious thing I've ever witnessed

Kurtis laughing at his own joke gives me so much dopamine I cannot

"A homeless man with cash???? This guy doesn't need any more money"

The Millie Bobby Brown bit killed me had me rolling on the floor 😂

the brain cancer bit with sitcom special guest wooping and cheering when jacob is introduced with the cheering gettin louder and louder and the last zoom in with jacob saying fuck you almost unintelligibly under the loud cheering really cracked me the fuck up. ahh kurtis and his crew of hilarious friends! love them

ok. I have to say this.... the "Sucker......Burger" storyline sucked me in, it had everything I needed in a story, surprise, deceit, plot twist, suspense and best of all horror, what else would you call it when you sit down to eat a burget and its gone "POOF!" you should be nominated for an emmy and an Oscar!!! VERY WELL DONE DESERVES A like

I love how the first usages for the X Ray goggles are: Making money, means testing and no consensual voyeurism. Really says a lot about the people who made this.

Where can I get the Bigfoot shirt he’s wearing at 8:29 because it’s my favorite thing ever

kurtis i just gotta tell you this is genuinely such a good video. like the drake jokes, stamper driving, JACOB MAKING A CAMEO? being a married man maxed out your comedy skills. welcome back man!!!!!

the reason the cia agent is so terrible at driving is because the actor was possessed by the spirit of Cosmo and the people making the movie didn't wanna try and redo the scenes

15:03 "officers, get him!" *"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"*

“Now that’s what I call a boner” made me giggle a disturbing amount.

Isn’t so cool that x ray glasses make women naked and men literal skeletons😍

12:13 freddie dredd huh? ain’t that the “this is what is like to be known as dead” guy?

10:20 funny I thought the joke was going to be that he would still be a garbage man b/c he's passionate about trash.

10:55 love how the movie frames this as a kid exposing a villain lmao. "You already have a couple hundred bucks on you!" Even assuming that roll of ones is a couple hundred dollars (I kind of doubt it), homeless people are obviously going to be keeping their money on them because you need an address to open a bank account. A couple hundred dollars still isn't enough to live on, especially when you have no income, health insurance, shelter, etc.

Who else hopes that Kurtis will keep the "yeah" like he kept the "balls" sound?

I totally remember renting this movie as a kid. Another weird and wild 90s kids movie I rented from that same shop that might be fun to cover is "The Wiz Kid". It's about a kid who makes a cooler clone of himself, and he also has a robot and plays a sick harmonica solo near the end. It took me forever to remember the name!

Kurtis' "Sucker" bit alone is WAY better than this whole movie could even *try* to be! 😆

*I love when Kurtis said "It's spyin' time!" and spied all over the movie. Truly one of the videos of all time.*

a movie commentary was just what i needed to get through the rest of the year

One thing you can always depend on in life is Kurtis leaving absolutely nothing to your imagination😌

When I was a kid, I got a spy kit. I couldn't remember everything in it. But I remembered edible paper, markers with edible ink, and a camera disguised as a juice box.

Glad to see Kurtis is back with those fever dream skits

If I had a dollar for every time Kurtis made an “I hardly know her” joke, I would throw all that money in the dumpster Uh oh what have I done… these replies…

12:30 theory: this is the fetish of someone who had a hand in the creation of both properties

kurtis' face when he said "i just drove my car off a cliff have you seen my suitcase?" has me DYING oh my god. comedic genius

Totally Spies! had THE best spy gear. They were so unapologetically girly eg. Compact mirror computer, a laser nail file, 5 carat data processor pendant, barrette tracking device, like??? So cool😭

Kind of amazing how much this movie didnt explore what you might be able to do with xray goggles. Their first and last idea was "peek at boobies hehe"

16:52 That man has the driving skills of Spongebob. 😂

5:46 rewatching this now, the timing is 😭

Okay, I did a little research cause I wanted to find out who the kid on the second poster was. Although I didn't find any info on that, I did find out that the two production companies that worked on this movie (Concorde- New Horizons and Royal Oaks Entertainment Inc.) both have mostly produced soft core erotica thriller type movies, with names like "Women In Cages", "The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man" "Sorceress II: The Temptress". So it's definitely super weird they made a kids movie. But it does contextualizes the naked scenes. LOL

fun fact: kurtis is the only man with a mustache and a mullet that i will ever trust

4:14 this can actually happen when you overestimate a turning. it happened to my mother; she overestimated a turning on her way home from work and lost control of the wheel. she ended up crashing into a tree, then bouncing off into a hedge. shes alive and physically well, though she didnt go flying off a cliff... im not sure that part is realistic. also shes not a cia agent going round a giant bend, so perhaps my comment means nothing

5:47 the foreshadowing is crazy

kurtis posting is like an oracle to me. no matter what if he posts it’s gonna be a good day. spring is coming early this year

So I have a weird memory associated with this movie. Back when i saw it as a kid in the early 2000s my dad once walked into the room, looked at the screen, said that Chuck was played by the same actor as "that stupid guy in that time travelling movie" and walked out. This all happened in maybe 15 seconds. It wasn't until many years later that i realized my dad absolutely sucks at identifying people and confused Robert Carradine with Keanu Reeves

How tf does Kurtis just drop that he’s friends with Freddie Dredd

the skits that Kurtis writes are genuinely the best part of every video, god

That bit with Jacob absolutely killed me! I knew it was coming and I still died 💀💀😂😂

kurtis is one of the only guys ever who can rock a mullet

The real reason chuck decided to stay at the beach despite being filthy rich was because that's the only way he could see the officer everyday and they were meant for each other and they should kiss

They may have changed the title in the UK because there was an album released by a band called Babylon Zoo in the 90s called The Boy with the X-ray Eyes.

I used to stare at this movie at the Hollywood Video when I was growing up, but never dared try to get my parents to rent it for me. So thank you Kurtis for finally showing me what it was all about.

the way I KNEW where this was going when he said that their depiction of the terrorist was crazy 💀

11:43 is CRAZYYYYYYYYY especially with what's going on right now

watching this in the middle of the kendrick vs drake beef and i got severe whiplash

Kurtis and his editors just in time to cure my seasonal depression.

Kurtis casually dropping the fact that he's friends with Freddie Dredd is insane lol

This movie feels like a movie that Matt, Lizzie's little brother, would have to watch as a creative punishment for missed homework.

Harry Stamper? Like Bruce Willis' character in Armageddon? Couldn't even be bothered to name their own characters for this masterpiece? 👍

Kurtis is more loyal to HelloFresh than many men are to their wives

The “burger time” skit is one of your best yet. The cross cutting, color correction, and slow motion had me dying.

19:32 lmaoooo

Whenever a movie has a scene in a beach, most of the time it's actually recorded again after the shootings, because lines from different clips won't match due to the wind and waves.

the sucker-burger sketch is legitimately the best one you've ever done, the plot twist was great and fantastically underscored by the editing, it's honestly true art also loved the jacob cameo!

The millie bobby brown clip made my jaw drop

Ironically I was thinking of a TV movie seeing this from 1999 called “Boys Will Be Boys” and it’s basically like a cheap “Home Alone” in the daytime and it’s very odd. Kind of thought I’d bring it up, especially since you talk about movies like it.

6:54 that story was so crazy to me cause i had been to that beach

23:26 "I'm really sorry aboot that" that is the first time I actually heard his Canadian accent lol

23:10as an Arabian this 100% accurate I usually just snap my fingers and a creeper just spawns and blow up people

11:24 I don’t understand the logic. You can see through the clothes but not the underwear? And how do they see through the clothes anyway, they should see through the skin, not just the clothes.

19:20 the fact that he says "yeah" the same way is like how in Scott pilgrim vs the world Young Neil says "Yeah, she sounds awesome" literally the SAME way twice in a row.

as a british person, i can confirm that we are just an urban legend