as a general rule, real estate agents do fake business. the real business transaction is between the buyer and seller. the agent gets between them and takes 5%.
@@johntavers6878 im a 19 year old real estate agent and can confirm that i have no clue why people don't just learn how to do these things for themselves. they make 5x what i make and are 3x older than me and come to me for answers lmao
@@XBlakeFreemanX The fact that you think it's an insult to compare a real life man who prentends to be a real estate agent for kicks to a popular mischievous cartoon character tells me you're a god damned Kyle.
@Derrick Terry >Joey Diaz isn't smart >well he has a million dollars! And AND he has *followers* so he CANT be dumb How do these things connect in your mind?
I am unemployed but Tim Dillon inspired me to start a fake bussiness it's been a month since that I am still unemployed but much happier and mentally stronger. Thank you Tim.
@@charleswesesky747 it IS TRUE. You don't know people in business. My brother in law drew up a house design, all fully engineered. Changed the bloody design 5 times. The idiots only put down 1/3 payment for ONE design not 5, and nearly 2 years later ask him SOMETHING ELSE about the house design. It's never been built. Might not EVER be.
Make no mistake I'd turn gay for Tim! Let me make this crystal clear, we could all do a polly relationship I'll turn gay for all you cuties with smoothies.
Tim inspired me to start my fake business in large scale cargo shipping. Haggling with chinese businessmen over pallets of nondescript textile goods is the only thing that keeps me going these days.
There is a thin line between con-artist and salesperson. Good sales people with repeat buyers is a good sign of a fair salesperson or a fantastic ponzi sceme
I'm thinking it's possible, a way of practicing his comedy in a way. The fact he can do it and not burst into laughter probably helps him perfect that ability during his rants and stand up. Could have been something he started doing as a kid to entertain his friends with his comedy and it just stuck. I can envision a few scenarios where it might be something he does. Could also just be a brilliant skit.
@@skoto8219 thats the joke that 90 percent of his day is this weather his other clients admit or not. You have to be a sociopath to sell LA strip mall real estate
If we use the sociopath label on everyone it means nothing and it says more about the judgmental pricks out here like you clearly never met anyone actually dangerous in your entire sheltered existence.
I'm a real estate agent and I can say Tim is 100% right. He is damn good and if he were to call me I wouldn't know the difference. Until the contract is signed, it's all BS!
You do know you can trust realtors right? They're THE LEAST trustworthy people OF ANY industry. Lawyers included. He should honestly drop the client stuff and just say HE'S INTERESTED. Because one day he will FIND AND GET a bargain. Not unknown for me and others to trawl through real estate listing online. My sister and brother in law know FAR more and can contact owners thru some $15 government fee, even though my country is FAR more private than the USA. They got a block in the middle of their town for $3000 and sold it a year later for $13000!! Bought themselves a tractor with the profit.
I do fake business with scammers. It's fun to act incompetent with them. "I have the money right here ready to send to you, but I just can't figure out how to do it."
Today I was on the phone with a motorcycle dealership for an hour looking for a bike i knew they didnt have. Had a one hour fake business session. Life in the big city.
As a commercial real estate agent, First hearing this pissed me off since no one likes a time waster. Then he said we are ALL doing fake business until a contract is signed.. it isn't real. Keeping this in the back of my mind make me take things more lightly and improves confidence. Thanks tim!
I'm pretty sure Tim's fake business deals taught him everything he needs to know to actually start a real estate business. I mean, he might as well at this point.
@@DunceCapSyndrome i went to a handful of AA meetings and the most memorable person there was a real estate dude in his 60s - who was actually gay come to think of it, lol. he told a story about waking up in the morning after a binge, his partner asking: "well do you wanna go see it?" "see what?" "the house." he'd bought a house from someone while blacked out.
@@jamescloud6967 "yes or yes" has always been said, its just a thing anyone thats pushy will always eventually say Anywho, Yes or Yes on a t-shirt sounds rapey AF lolol
Listen David, I am going to be frank with you. Fake business is a knife fight. You need someone to go to bat for you..cashing checks and breaking necks. Thats what we do. We make fake business more streamlined. what do you say can I sign you up?
Funny enough I did a lot of this before I got into doing real business. No college degree or anything so I wanted to have experience talking to these people before I went and actually did something risky. So I pretended to have more money than I did and toured a whole bunch of different places learning about all this before getting "concerned" about something and calling the deal off.
this is social engineering penetration testing. actually pretty genius, if this could become something done culturally we as a nation would become incredibly thick skinned
I call casinos and ask if they can send security and a clean up crew down to the pool area cos there's a dead dog in the pool of something. Ask them if I should pull it out with my hands. Ask is the water swimmable/drinkable. Anything really.
@@turbogav8674 I'm in Melbourne too. Interested in Knight Industries? They make armored cars in the USA based on 4x4 chev ute chassis. Nothing to do with me though. Or is it....
My brother and my friends and I used to do crank calls like this when we were kids back in the ‘70s. We created a fake business and convinced people that the car they had recently bought was delayed in its delivery. “What car? I didn’t buy a car.” “Yes, sir, you did. You bought a,” crumple of paperwork, “1975 Ford Mustang fastback on June 4.” We once convinced some guy that his wife had bought two Mustangs. “My wife bought TWO Mustangs ... Why would she buy two Mustangs?...” It was a lot more fun than “Is your refrigerator running?” I guess we were ahead of our time.
This is real life advice disguised as hilarious comedy. I did fake business at 23 as an "advertising consultant" called all the major ad networks for my anonymous online gaming and eCommerce clients, learned all the lingo, started negotiating insertion orders against rival networks and finally started selling reduced online ad contracts to internet casinos, game companies, startups, etc. Earned $84,000 my first year out of my shitty loft apartment while guys with 70k in college debt for a marketing degree were fetching coffee for 22k a year and 60 hour weeks.
Tim just taught you guys 95% of it. Call people you want to be like and waste their fucking time while you learn the ins outs and lingo used. When I made my first calls I sounded like a moron, I didn't know terms like "remnant space" (unsold ad inventory) "I'll send you a sample IO" (insertion order) and then on the next calls I'd say " do you guys have any remnant space?. why don't you send me a sample IO so I can look over your general terms" Immediately you can see how fast you begin sounding like a player. Soon enough they start telling you about other deals and rumors, company names etc. I literally had a salesman tell me about X company in London that were paying premium rates and how a rival was paying half for the same traffic quality with half the spend because they had so much traffic they would take any offer. So I called the London company, told them my specialty was negotiating massive savings on ad contracts and if I could save them 25% immediately would they buy with me? So I called the another salesman and told him if they didn't cut "my clients" (london) rates by 40% I was pulling all their traffic. They did, I pocketed the 15% monthly which was $22,000, plus the london company gave me a 500k a month spend to manage at 8% management fee. This is how the world works.
@@ryansoawesome We prefer the term capitalism. I saved companies millions of dollars on overpriced ad contracts. They were thrilled, I made a fortune, the ad networks got fair prices for their inventory and could go try and scam other companies to pay 2 to 3 times the price they were willing to take
I was laid off by one of Tim’s fake businesses. They say love what you do, and you’ll never work a day in your life. That statement couldn’t be more accurate.
When he said “it’s a little wild out there,” I was hoping for a follow up with “it’s a real knife fight out there.” Missed opportunity Timmy, I guess that’s life in the big city
The laugh he lets out when he says he’s trying to make deals too. I laughed so hard but simultaneously felt so bad for that guy. The world is a strange place full of strange feelings
Tim, we're on the same page but I feel that no one else gets it. 5 years ago while at a bar after work I figured out my office number for the company spelled out Edfinger. Since that day, not only was Ed born into the world, he is president and CEO of Finger and Associates, LLC. My wife runs logistics while I keep Ed available for consolations. Started as a PI firm and actually helped a woman find her father after they were separated via a concentration camp in Nazi Germany. There's also your typical loved one lost, those are quite easy but F&A's current focus is Microprocessors and experimental flash memory. Long live the Finger! I'm a little jealous, Ed gets all types of cool, free shit in the mail(now that F&A reached 500 employees, everyone wants the Finger).
Tim i just did some exceptional fake business today that would make you proud. Called up the place that buys gold and asked em what "the price of gold is sittin at" and went into a long fake business convo that really wasted alot of their time and resources (which i think is the true goal of a good fake businessman)
“People do all kinds of things that aren’t real! People are fake comedians, they pretend to be a comedian for a decade and impoverish themselves and live on a floor and walk dogs, FINE!” 🤣
A couple years back, a concrete company had me call another concrete company I used to work for to do a little fake business & find out some rates, in order for us undercut them on pricing with a client.
Once you have phone training, know the cadence of speaking smoothly, and know a particular industries lingo it's crazy what you can sound like to the person in the other end. The picture that guy has of Tim on the other end of the phone I guarantee is that of a professional.
Tim, I started my own fake business. I'm currently trying to sell a house in Central Florida to a real estate investment firm. This home was the scene of a murder suicide by a hoarder who filled the entire bathroom full of feces.
