To All the Perfectionists | How to Stop Perfectionism | Christian Girl Advice 

No, you're not crazy at all! I totally relate to what you wrote! I'm so glad this video could encourage you

Yes!! 2 Corinthians 12:9 - His power is made perfect in weakness. Beautiful! And it's so important to continue responding to Him as He leads us to work through different issues in our lives, but even right now, right in all the mess of this slow process of becoming more like Christ, even on our worst days and on our best days, He delights in us. And the closer we come to Him, the more He can change us from the inside out -- in ways we could never change ourselves. Love hearing what God is teaching you!!

Tiffany Dawn yeah!! It's amazing 😊

That's so cool you were able to realize that this week! It's so easy to get caught up in the routine of it and not really get to connect with God -- I definitely struggle with that a lot! And it's such a dichotomy, because all the things we do in the routine are so helpful and good, but we have to sometimes pause and ask God to help us not to go through the motions and instead to really connect with Him. I'll be praying for you as God guides you through this!

Wow, I'm so impressed you're taking the time to really work through these struggles! That is amazing! I can imagine it must be frustrating. I too just want to be fixed already! But I'm so glad you have the courage to "stop and smell the flowers"! :)

I had the same response hahah

Oh my goodness, same here! And I almost don't even realize I'm doing it! I'm so glad this could encourage you.❤️

Awwww, thank you!!! That means a lot!

Yes exactly!! I really think that openness blesses others, and helps them know they can also be vulnerable. Vulnerability is such a beautiful thing! I loved that signature sin thing you shared with me the other day - it was so encouraging :):)

I'm so glad!!

I'm so glad it could be an encouragement to you!! That's really encouraging to me! Actually, I think you'd LOVE the book "Sensible Shoes" if this is something you really struggle with. It's about these four women who go on this journey to grow in God, and one of them is a perfectionist, and it's about the things God teaches her and each of the other women. It's BEAUTIFUL & sooooo helpful!!

Ahhhh great idea! I think right now it's all about working through some approval addiction. Which I'm hoping to do a video on later this year......eek!!

I'm so glad they've been able to encourage you! Thank you for taking the time to share that with me! I totally relate to the wanting to hurry up and be better. Learning that it's a long-term process has been both freeing and sometimes frustrating for me!! Haha, but I think mostly freeing :):)

@@TiffanyDawn When I think about it I try to leave some things not "perfect." After watching this video I made my bed and accidentally put a blanket on differently than I normally do. I decided to leave it. That was actually a big struggle, but then I moved on with my day and didn't think about it again. I want to keep embracing the imperfections in myself and others and be grateful for where I am and where I've been.

Oh I'm so glad! That makes me so happy!

YAY!!! I'm so glad you're excited too!! :):):)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! And hugs back from New York!

I'm so glad it was able to encourage you!❤️

Oh this is such a great comment! I hadn't even thought of what I was saying in that way, so I really appreciate you pointing out how it could be interpreted that way! I completely agree that we need to respond to God and work through our character flaws, and should not embrace sin in our lives. That is not at all what I was intending to say. When I think about embracing imperfections, it's not at all about embracing sin; it's about embracing where God has us on the journey to sanctification, and allowing people to see the areas where we struggle, instead of trying to hide them. And when I say embracing the imperfections, I don't mean holding onto sin, but instead allowing our lives to not always look "perfect," as in not Stepford-wives. Hence my example of not making my house look perfectly clean, but instead letting it look lived in. It's not sin to have a messy house, but sometimes there's this pressure to always look more perfect than we are, but I think it's far more helpful to show our mistakes and imperfections, even as we're working through them. Not that we have to show them to everyone, but definitely to those we trust. I think of it like 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, how Paul was glad to share and even boast about his weaknesses -- the hardships he was going through, the struggles he had, and he even talked about not doing what he wanted to do and vise versa -- because when he realized he was weak and didn't try to pretend he was more perfect than he was, then God's strength and power were at work in him. I think that's what letting go of perfectionism is all about -- not embracing sin, but embracing the process of what God is doing in our hearts, instead of trying to do it all ourselves or pretending we have it all together (kind of like you were saying). I hope this helps explain! Now I have to think about if I need to do a second version of this video because I think a few people understood it the way you did, and I definitely don't want it to sound like we should embrace sin! 😂 But I'm so glad it was able to encourage you in your relationship with God! Thank you so, so much for sharing this!!

Tiffany Dawn No its ok. I thought I actually sounded disrespectful and I may have offended people in the comments saying the importance of God looking past our imperfections. Idk I always see "embracing imperfections" as embracing flaws which are actually not good to embrace. I'm a bit of a pessimist sometimes XD. Thanks for taking your time to reply and clarifying. It would be helpful to make a video but if you are swamped with work you could hold off on it. And yeah talking to others about issues you experience and showing others you CAN share them with God is really important and helpful, especially with people new to the faith who are serious about it. I have a LONG way to go and when I feel like dirt to God I do have a habit of not addressing it straight away, which then makes me feel worse. I think God has changed me but I feel like it's my fault for not being better than I am now but it could also be God's pace for my development. What do you think? EDIT: I've also been afraid of revealing what I am struggling with for various reasons but one huge reason would be because of "judgement of others" or unhelpful remarks and the fact that unless I am improving in some way in my struggle, how is this going to help anyone, it's just complaining about a situation that's your own fault to begin with. However I only apply this to myself, as if others share their weaknesses to me, I feel they want help from me (which is an honour in my opinion) or feel I'm not alone, or it actually helps with my struggle. It's a weird double standard, I know but have you ever felt similar?

Oh my goodness, no you did not sound disrespectful at all!! You were so gracious! ❤️ And I could totally see how the video could sound that way. That's the hard part about filming these videos, is the things we say can so easily be misunderstood in a way we never even considered, just because everyone listens from a different perspective and different life experiences. So I'm really, really glad you pointed that out! I actually dropped what I was doing and recorded another video 😂 which just went live -- I hope it can help explain this better! Here's the link: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-XTEWRS0N0bM.html -- would love to hear your thoughts on this and if it makes more sense. And yes, I totally think our journey to sanctification is slower than we'd like. And honestly, I think that's because it goes so much deeper than we could ever imagine! It's one thing to change a habit or something on the surface, but God wants to get to the depths of our hearts and change us there. And that process takes time. And I really don't think He's in a rush -- at least not as big a rush as I'm in!! 😂 I talk about that "slow process of sanctification" a little more in this video: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-tQKc87FsIX4.html I mean it's one thing if God is convicting you of something that He wants to work with you through and you aren't open to letting Him work on that with you...that could certainly slow down your growth in a negative way...but I think as long as we're surrendering and responding to the things He brings up in our hearts, we're on track. And we often have to surrender over and over and over, and it can feel like one step forward and two steps back! But that's just part of the process. I think there are often other lessons God is also teaching us at the same time as we're stumbling through any particular sin issue -- like lessons about how to stand back up when we fall, or about how much He loves us even in our mess, and so on. But I do think it is a slow process, because deep work tends to be slow work. And I totally get that fear of sharing my struggles with others, even as I'm honored to hear their struggles! Yes, I totally struggle with that same thing to this day! It takes such deep courage and humility for me to be able to open up to other people about things I'm currently struggling with. So you're definitely not alone in that!! :):) Anyway, thank you SO MUCH for having the courage to share your honest thoughts on this video -- that means so much to me and was super helpful!! ❤️❤️

Tiffany Dawn Hi Tiffany. Just saw the video. I guess I learnt something today about acknowledging imperfections. There's still something odd to me. I hope I do not seem to critical of you, I think I am at a lower point with Christ than you so I don't know if it is even fair to critique. EDIT: But I feel like showing my imperfection to others would not help them. Discussing it maybe but showing it would seem like encouraging such behaviour and I know that's not what you mean. I guess looking at Paul he is discussing his struggles to those people in Galatia, Rome etc. but not actually displaying that behaviour to those people. I forget what specific scripture it is but we are told to be salt of the earth, to be separate from this world, and being examples to those weak in their faith. But I guess since I'm quite dense, I'd like you to maybe give an example of what you mean by showing your imperfections. Seriously though I'm glad you have discussed this with me. Maybe I'm too hard on myself (or maybe you're too lax XD just kidding). Thank you and you are great :).

It's called "Lifesigns : intimacy, fecundity, and ecstasy in Christian perspective" by Henri Nouwen. :)

Hi!! Thank you so much for commenting! I think I may not have explained myself as well as I thought in the video, because I think a few people took what I was saying as meaning to embrace sin, which is most definitely NOT what I was meaning! 😂 I wrote a comment up above that I'll copy part of here: When I think about embracing imperfections, it's not at all about embracing sin; it's about embracing where God has us on the journey to sanctification, and allowing people to see the areas where we struggle, instead of trying to hide them. And when I say embracing the imperfections, I don't mean holding onto sin or glorifying it, but instead allowing our lives to not always look "perfect," as in not being Stepford-wives. Hence my example of not making my house look perfectly clean, but instead letting it look lived in. It's not sin to have a messy house, but sometimes there's this pressure to always look more perfect than we are, but I think it's far more helpful to show our mistakes and imperfections, even as we're working through them. I think in church it's easy to get sucked into this mentality that I have to look perfect and seem perfect. Not that we have to share our struggles with everyone, but definitely with those we trust. I think of it like 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, how Paul was glad to share and even boast about his weaknesses -- the hardships he was going through, the struggles he had, and he even talked about not doing what he wanted to do and vise versa -- because when he realized he was weak and didn't try to pretend he was more perfect than he was, then God's strength and power were at work in him. I think that's what letting go of perfectionism is all about -- not embracing sin, but embracing the process of what God is doing in our hearts, instead of trying to do it all ourselves or pretending we have it all together (kind of like you were saying). I hope this helps explain! Now I have to think about if I need to do a second version of this video because I think a few people understood it the way you did, and I definitely don't want it to sound like we should embrace sin! 😂

The one about boasting in weakness is 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 :)

Hahaha - I hear you!!