Toxic people, religion, and spirituality (subtítulos en español) 

When they pretend that God is on their side, it’s because in their minds, they are god.

"I'm not perfect, I'm forgiven." or "I can judge YOU but you can't judge me."

When I do something my mother doesn’t like, she tells me I’m being controlled by Satan. When I bring up her abuse towards me she says I not Christian because I don’t forgive

I was married to a spiritual narcissist for 10 years. He destroyed me. It has taken me 30 years to understand what happened. Thank you for this. It has changed my life.

FINALLY FINALLY someone addressing that wolves in sheep's clothing DO EXIST and to watch out for them!!

I do get suspicious of people who say, 'I'm such a good person.'

Wherever you find people who are in a crisis, right there, you'll find the narcissists "helping " them

Even the devil can site scriptures for his own purposes -William Shakespeare

That happened to me in my life! People use their personal prayer life and "hearing the Spirit's voice" as an excuse to abuse and manipulate. I think religion does a good job of creating sociopaths and narcs.

My husband is a religious narcissist. And I’m seeing now his dad (who is a pastor) is also a narcissist.

My dad was a deacon, my mom was a Sunday school teacher at our church, we were at church every time the doors were open. We were the perfect family in public. At home, it was hell.

You should have been there when my dad was telling my suicidal wife that she wasn't a real Christian and that her lack of "real" faith was the reason she was suicidal.

Yup! In protestant communities narcs hide behind "grace." So many victims I know are told to "forgive and forget." 😭😡

This was my mother. She and God were synonymous. Everything she said and enforced in my life was "God's will." It's taken me 40 years to undo that damage and I'm still in therapy.

I read something today that said 'An apology without change is just manipulation... read that again'

Wow! I’ve witnessed this multiple times in my life and in my career as a therapist. It’s about as brazen a narcissistic tactic as there is.

Oh very yes. My ex narc is religious but sleeps with everything and says "god forgives us all".

When you said “That’s what God said”, I was reminded of the time, about aged 5 or 6, when I was kicked out of Sunday School for asking “How do you know? Have you met God?” The adult in question got very angry and my mother was told not to bring me back. Sunday’s improved considerably after that 😉

The first time I heard the word narcissism was when a friends dad told me “religion is a breeding ground for narcissism, because they are not in touch with reality.” Fucking powerful!

Two very helpful and sane things that were said to me by a priest in confession in speaking of my dealings with a narcissist in the family (I'm Russian Orthodox): "It is essential to try to forgive. But forgiveness is not the same as trust" and "Christian Charity absolutely does not consist of trying to force yourself to believe that someone has good intentions - when in fact it is very clear that they have bad ones."

Always be AWARE of how you feel, how they make you feel. It does not matter how close to God they say to be, all that matters is how you feel. If something doesn't feel right, they are being controlling and manipulative, and abusive... religion has no power at all, it simply has no meaning at all. Be AWARE of your feelings. Be always honest to yourself

My parents loved to use "honor your father and mother." I was expected to honor and respect my parents, not just cause that made them feel good but because of religion. They used it against me and my fiance (now my husband) back before our wedding cause they didn't like what they were seeing: an independent man coming into their daughter's life and telling her she is capable of making her own choices for her life. My parents were always obsessed around sexual purity and as a result I suffered from a lot of sexual shame. Disgusting and so out of line!!! Makes my blood boil!!!

Instead of using spirituality to dissolve their ego, they use it to create and solidify a spiritual ego

I haven’t spoken to my religious narcissist father for 15 years. He still sends me “letters of condemnation” as I like to call them and has no ability to apologize. This was very cathartic, thank you.

Please please do one on "the toxic best friend". I'm sure a lot of people need this. It's that picture of an extrovert meets introvert kind of friendship, where the narcissist ends up overpowering everything!

Ah. The holier Than thou hypocrite covert narc. A tough one. Be openminded and understanding but NOT when it comes to narcissists. A person that can not change Will always talk about having changed. Change shows in action not in words.

I’ve dated two New Age spiritual narcissists who used spirituality as an excuse for infidelity and bad behavior. Also nonattachment, Buddhist and Hindu precepts, tantra, nonviolent communication, etc. And when they acted in a way that hurt me or if I felt grief, they told me they “hoped that I found relief from my suffering - because, really, I was just hurting myself.” The key is that there’s emotional disconnection. Emotional intelligence, yes, but they learn quickly and pick up new tools readily. It’s an intellectual exercise.

I was a victim of religious narcissistic abuse during childhood and most of my adult life. I have since left organized religion and I feel closer to God than ever before. It's liberating. Thank you so much for this topic.♥️

You know them by their fruit. I have been on the receiving end of abuse for being authentic and sincere. For not tolerating a narcissistic manipulations no matter what. When they say: "Don't you know who I am?" I say in my soul: "I AM died for me, and when He did, He did not surrender His throne to you. I already have my shepherd. Newsflash: I am not your sheep." Never hand over your freedom in Christ, or that precious, PERSONAL relationship for dead religion or legalism. That's where they try to get you: human approval, peer pressure, and societal pressure. Be comfortable enough in your own skin to let their judgements slide off like water off a duck's back. Vindication always comes, and those who took part in the abuse always pay a high price. I never mount a defense. They will just twist it into something even more painful anyway. The Lord is my defense, and I pity anyone who abuses me or my family. I don't have to defend anything, because my God is just.

Then there's the "spiritual" narcissist who is also an "artist". Run away fast!

I thought I was going crazy seeing so many wrong things in the church. Thanks alot for this video this cleared my mind.

Remember God is Love......and in order to show that u are godly, U give love which consist of compassion and empathy. Because u feel it. Has to come from your heart,and not false pretense. 🙂🙂🙂

This is so true! I left my church after many years when I finally woke up! Why does it take so long to see through the hypocrisy? I still have a strong and personal faith. But I'm so happy to be free.

Use the “Holy Word” as a cudgel against everyone except themselves.

2:12 Yes they do. I had to end a friendship with a 20+ year friend who decided she would make me her project to fix. Not only did she not live her life according to her own beliefs, but she also projected onto me who she wanted me to be which was an extension of her. In other words, she wanted me to embody everything she believed in without believing and acting in alignment herself. “Do as I say, not as I do.” She hid behind the veil of her religion to hide her true narcissism. It was only through my own awakening that I was able to figure out what was going on. Our friendship ended three years ago.

*THIS* is honestly why I strongly believe that organized religion was specifically constructed by and for the Narcissist, as it becomes the perfect weapon/armor for them to take advantage of any available resource. There is a reason the glove fits so well.

I guess every priest abusing a child falls in this accurate narc religious type description too.

Both of my parents are ministers and authors of Christian books, Phd's in theology, both narcs. She's overt, he's covert. The abuse is horrendous and they hide behind the cloak. I can't begin to explain how confusing it is. Thank you for this video.

33 years of it and finally divorcing at 60 years old

I wish I could have heard this sermon 30 years ago. Better late than never.

I still suffer many years later a PTSD nervous response to Xmas carols, due to a malignant narcissistic father who was holier than thou.

OMG yes, this is my situation. My husband says if I would just trust him to lead me, we wouldn’t have any problems. This basically means l need to ignore his sin. He loves to rub elbows with his pastor and throw lots of money at the church to make everyone think he is so devoted. It’s all smoke and mirrors. At home he is self centered, talks about himself and his business constantly, social media addicted, flirtatious with customers and every female clerk and waitress, lazy and always correcting me to the point if I say its a nice day, he tells me theirs a 10% chance of showers at 3pm. I can’t win. God will deal with him in the end. I’m trying to keep my sanity.

OMG!!!!! Yes, yes, yes. Please do more videos on this. I am an atheist and former preacher’s daughter. Religion has torn my entire family apart. Literally had to leave my family.

I was told I would be the adulterer if I remarry.To think he did the bad behaviors and I am the "sinner"! I am so glad to be moving on and learning how to be my own person again! Thank you Dr. Ramani

The wolf in sheep's clothing... narcissists in church / religion.

Thank you Dr Ramani for speaking about this topic. It's a tough one. I've seen narcissist religious leaders fiercely protected by their congregations who justified or minimalized their bad behavior. Often if one brought up the subject of the misbehaviours one would be ostracized. One not only loses a once trusted religious leader but a community.

Thank you for Validating me! I feel SO unheard!! My Sister and Mother are Spiritual Narcissists. I have stepped away from the Family. I am the Scapegoat. All I hear from others, is I NEED to forgive them for what they have done. I understand, there comes a time for Forgiveness, but honestly the Pain is SO DEEP that it will take me my entire life to move past the Abuse. They cover up themselves with lies, deception and protecting the Pedophilor in the Family. I just can't understand that!! 😢😢

Pastors and preachers are SUCH a red flag. They all seem to be narcs.

Dr Ramani , you’re my mentor . Keep on bringing your wisdom to us

what I struggle with is the stigma that comes with my religious beliefs when it comes to going no contact with family members especially parents. some religions place great emphasis on filial piety and the importance of maintaining ties with family, which can lead to confusion, inner conflict and guilt when those people are toxic and you need to cut them off

Amen to this, sister. The church is full of them.

My mother is a religious narcissist. She wanted to control me through religion. Her church is great and not to blame. I spoke with my Pastor and he suggested that maybe she’s not saved. That never crossed my mind. She always plays the victim with no money and her church has come through for her many times. I believe she has taken advantage of them and also the family. At my church I had someone whose actions did not meet their words. We both sat down with our Pastor and worked things out. Christian’s aren’t perfect and we also need guidance. There are wolves in sheep’s clothing everywhere. Don’t let these individuals deceive you.

100% correct. They are EVERYWHERE. They blame the devil enticing them via the person or thing they did wrong. However, with the right Godly people, the harm done can be a road to healing.

I have learned from this channel so many things, but one of the best things I have learned is to watch the actions of people.

I'm a Christian and have been in church attendance for around 30 years and it has been my experience that you would struggle to find a church leader who wasn't a narcissist. I'm no longer in church but still follow my faith. So many people are damaged in churches because of them. Makes me laugh how they bang on telling people to read their bible but when you do you know what it says and they hate it!

Aaaaaaaamen, Dr. Ramani! You just described my ex parents, ex husband, and ex in-laws (FiL was a pastor, BTW; ex dad an elder). Total narc soup. I’m so thankful to be out of that toxic air and living in freedom. I absolutely still believe in God, and I am seeing Him provide for me and heal me. But every possible scripture that could be used against me - was. They will twist *anything* for their own purposes. And what I have found is that not only is abuse more likely to hide in religious communities, but when the abuse is brought to light, the religious community is much more likely to try to invalidate you and disbelieve you and deny everything. I have found much more help and support outside of my (former) church. I very much hesitate to become part of one again.

I grew up with a narcissistic religious father! You are so true. It is the HARDEST battle to win. You never do. You turn 18 and run. I was so brainwashed until my mid twenties and so were my brothers and sisters. I’m 54 and most of my adult life I lived in such fear of God. It took counseling and work to bring me into my own light and love. Thank you for touching on this subject. It’s hard to talk about to others. It really is religious abuse. He beat ya in the name of God. Thank God I am free. Much love and light to you!

It's been interesting for me recently reading over the history of a few minor religious movements, with my recent studies on personality disorders in mind, and seeing how narcissism easily fits as an explanation for some of the leaders of these groups. And I say this as a religious person who finds extraordinary value in religion and in the study of religion. However I think it's worth keeping in mind that religion is a perfect place for a narcissist to hide b/c it's a place where it's almost impossible to call them out on their bullshit.

Wow...This is my Mom, unfortunately. Growing up and to this day, I always loved fantasy and magical things. I had a big interest in feeling a connection to nature and animals even from a very young age as well. These interests were always looked down on constantly by my mother, who always made it clear that these things were evil or gateways to more evil things. When quesfioned about anything, she often told us she had a "spirit of discernment" that helped her see the evil in things that no one else in my family seemed to be able to notice. This always gave her control and power, because if you went against her, no matter what the subject, you were basically questioning God.

Im here because I know someone who just wrote a book about their personal relationship to God. Went as far to say as he was "chosen" by God to be a spiritual leader. If he ever becomes a spiritual leader, the world is truly in trouble- he is the epitome of a narcissist. His book literally starts off by saying, "I am therefore I think. I was chosen by God to help you stop thinking." I am not joking. It's on Amazon.

Spirituality , religion and compassion has helped me greatly to manage toxic relationships effectively without draining my energy or empathy levels. 😎

My sister is able to convince anyone of her goodness, kindness and compassion when I know from experience that she has no regard for any of the people who admire her and are drawn to her. She is in the later stages of heart failure and is still willingly fools the people who are being extra kind to her at this time. I was one of them once again for a while, but never again. I honestly don’t know how she can sleep at night. I made the decision to drop contact with her when she once again used something very painful from the past against me. I’ve lost some mutual friends because they feel I’ve abandoned her in her time of need. I’m trying to find my way through all of this.

I survived for 43 years with a "religious" psychopath. He died 7 years ago, but I am still reeling! Biblical languages, hundreds of heavy books, teaching religion at a major university, but behind the scenes...!!! Love the wisps of grey in your hair. Mine is entirely white. But please know that after watching your lengthy interview about psychopathy, I will never say I love your shoes ;) With gratitude

I had a friend who was super spiritual! She was very much the "we are all connected and loved", type. Then she did the deed with my boyfriend at a party we were both at... in the room right next to me! When I confronted her, she went into a narcissistic rage, deflecting, blaming, lying. I was like OMG WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU EVEN ABOUT?! She was so zen before this happened but it was really a facade. It was so so shocking. I might make a storytime about it! If anyone is interested in seeing it, like this comment to let me know!

It been over 2 months that I moved out and left a 13 year relationship with my narc and he used to read the Bible in the mornings and in the evenings every single day. After all these years I never knew about NPD until 5 months ago when I caught him cheating with an individual out of state which made me do my detective work and look into EVERYTHING. What I found just crushed me. He had 5 long term relationship going all at the same time while living with me, while we are remodeling our new home, while we are planning on a retirement location out of state and while he was playing like he fit in with my family and deeply cared for my kids and grandson. He and I did not have kids together but my kids lived with us and he had a strong bond with my son and my grandson. However, once I had access to his phone bill I was able to call every female he had been carrying on a long term relationship with, they all confirmed how long they had been with him. 2 out of the 5 didn’t know about me and the other 3 were married as well so they didn’t care. The two that didn’t know about me, one of them moved to our state to be with him but he told her that he was going to counseling with me to try to work things out so she was crushed but left him alone. But the other one who is 15 yrs younger then him has been talking to him for almost a year. She decided not to believe the fact that he’s been cheating with several women, & that he and I had been living together for almost 7 yrs out of the 13 yrs we’ve been together; she decided to give him a chance because he’s “such a nice guy” and “he’s so spiritual”. Since all the other females left him once I confronted them to find out the whole truth, he did the most lying to keep this one around. He even told her that I never lived with him but that I’m the ex-girlfriend from 5 yrs and and I just showed up at his door with a bag of clothes one day because my attorney told me that I had to establish residency so I can get half of the equity on the house...(LOL). The dumb girl believed it all even though I asked her since you’ve been in a relationship with him for a year now, didn’t you think something isn’t right since he never invited you to his home? She said because he was a private person she didn’t push the issue...(LOL). And now as soon as I left with everything in that house, leaving him to an empty 6 bedroom home, he furnished some of it and invited a mutual friend to his home 2 weeks ago to show our friend that he has pictures up in his living room of him and this new girl. He’s 57 yrs old and when I went to counseling with him after finding out about the first girl, he was siting in therapy lying all along and still trying to keep me. After 2 months of counseling that’s when I found out about NPD through the therapist and got my finances together and left him for good. His family still calls me and still hoping that we work things out. They are just as surprised because he’s been lying to them all along too. I knew he had issues because he was depressed all the time but I thought he had PTSD and tried to brighten up his life with my all but I lost myself in the process. I’ve been so peaceful the last 7 weeks in my new home and get a great nights sleep everyday and so glad I left. I just hoped that I found out about this several years ago since I feel like he took the best 13 years of my life to a waste. We both are in the same profession and worked a lot of hours but he told me that he would go meet up with these women before work, during lunch and while he told me he was working overtime at the end of his shift. During counseling it revealed that he had been doing this throughout most of our relationship and has been doing it with the last 3 women before me including his daughters mother whom he was married with 30 yrs ago. In a nutshell since he’s been like this for the past 30 years he has only gotten better with his lies to cover his tracks while he was with me. This is a person who can never change and it’s really sad because he actually could have been someone productive. My therapist told me during our one-on-one session when he wasn’t there; “You’re a great person with so much going for yourself and I do this to keep relationships together but with your situation all I can say is run from this guy as fast as you can”. That was directly from my therapist. He was very upset at my narc too because he tried to get the truth out of him but all he found out was me locating a new girl after a new girl every single week of doing my investigation on him. The more I looked the more I found out. It was like living with a different person then the one I originally met. People like him can never change and I’m just glad I was strong enough mentally to leave. Also looking into this type of videos to make me understand NPD and that I was not the crazy one with the problem but he was makes my process easier day by day. I just hope I don’t take this into my next relationship whenever I’m ready to date again.

Eleven narcissists didn’t like this video. 🤣

In my experience narcissism is the norm rather than the exception when it comes to the religious population...

Wow, very powerful video. I am the greatest sinner I know and I have changed drastically because of my relationship and belief in Christ. I am beyond blessed because I can admit my wrongs. Sadly, I am slowly learning some of the worst, self righteous, egotistical, arrogant and hypocritical people are self professing “Christians”. Part of narcissistic personality and behavior is pride. My own narcissistic family can’t admit their wrongs and tend to blame others for their crappie behavior. That’s why I have had to go no contact with my blood relatives. lol...my least “spiritual” family member became a yoga instructor. It’s crazy how all of a sudden All of my family put that person on an undeserving pedestal. Very powerful video!! Thank you so much for this. I have goosebumps watching this video. I knew something felt off and you described exactly what I have been talking about... to my therapist. Thank you again!!God bless you even more ... clearly you’re already very blessed!! ❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗🙏🏼

Oh Doc! This video is timely! I left my newly spiritual narcissist this week! The lying was incessant...EVERY CONVERSATION. He is a total fake; yet, everyone believes him. I believe his spirituality is REALLY about his fear of death. Thank you for helping me cope with the fantasy I have lost by replacing it with this video's content.

I’ve had a few horrible narcissistic relationships in my life because I had two narcissistic parents. The one thing that always made me run in the opposite direction was when some guy told me he had the hotline to God. Uh oh, feet don’t fail me now. For me that was a huge red flag. And believe me I wasn’t able recognize too many. Thank you Dr. Ramanl. Your videos are wonderful.

Yup i came into christianity in my late teens. Married a spiritual/self- righteousness narc. Left said church a year and 3 months after I filed for divorce…spent 16 years in ut. Landed in the “conscious”/law of attraction/hippy dippy/ feminine spirituality. Left that after 8 years or so. It is disgusting how as I look back I can see so many of my mentors/teachers/coaches were/are narcs …and esp With law of attraction I can see how narcs use the ideas to teach others how to “justify ANYTHING” …ie teaching empaths how to be narcs. No thank you. I don’t need a religion or spiritual practice to tell me how to be a kind, empathetic and compassionate person (that really just give more cover to the narc teachers teaching this!) I needed teachings like yours to help me put boundaries on my empathy outwards and be a bit more detached from the world

I have a relative who criticized everything I did in regards to individual choices from music, to art, to movies, lifestyles, etc. She supposedly has a direct channel to God who tells her these things. Even when my dad was on his death bed she made some comment about going to hell. You really have to know when to cut these people off and not let them control your life.

She just explained my Dad and step mom. No contact for 4 years.

I currently ended a long (20yr.) friendship, because of the reasons you described in your video. My faith is so important to me, & to have people hide behind it to hurt others. Is even more devastating.

Yes, mine got out of jail, said he found God, said all the right things and I allowed him back in, no sooner probation was done, 1 year later back to all out and lots of new tricks up his sleeve!! They will use ANY thing they can !!!!! I am trying to take my life back as MINE!!!! Lots of hard work!!! Determined to live a real and true life!!!!!

My hubby goes to mass every Sunday, that's what a good person he is. I wake up every morning and cry......he never even noticed....ever. And he says he's a man of god.....

The tough love you give to the community I personally appreciate. It makes me feel not alone.

Struck a nerve, the years of my life spent looking for answers in religions and the multiples of Hypocrites I have found there: daunting, in hindsight simply daunting.

The worst and most devaluing statement that my mother would say is, “ the lord has forgave me and I will pray for you! “ this is worst,” I rebuke you “ and “ have a blessed day” after all the misery she puts me through!

My story!!! My church couldn’t believe what was happening when I met with them and told them how my husband was abusing my children and I. I followed me gut, left my marriage and got a restraining order. A year and a half later...my restraining order has held in place while my ex was promoted to leadership in the church and anyone that attended is now his flying monkey. The Leadership at the church even testified on his behalf at our domestic violence hearing and they looked like complete fools. He has been leading worship in church and talking about me during the service, bashing me and passing himself as a loving father and husband who did everything he could for his unstable wife 🤦🏼‍♀️ Masks always slip though. Recently a new pastor came in and caught onto what was going on but so much damage has already been done. I think the religious community is often vulnerable due to lack of healthy boundaries and the desire to help and forgive. Little do they realize the number of wolves out there that use them shamelessly. Thank you for putting this content out there!!! This is so validating to hear that this is a pattern with narcissism.

Dr. Ramani, As per usual at the completion of one of your videos, I am left with the feeling that I wish you were my sister, though I feel as you already are. You are so approachable and no nonsense....I just love these attributes and you're one smart cookie to boot. My one and only child was born from a relationship I had with a narcissist and he was everything you ever talk about with the classic narcissist. I don;t regret having my child however if I had a do-over button I would hit reset in a moment. The complications that this person has caused myself and my daughter should be considered crimes against humanity and punishable by law! The trauma from it all has caused me some very BIG emotional issues that have taken me years to even recognize and it's a feeling of lost time we can never get back unfortunately. I hope you know how much you have helped me. Sending you my love and warmest affections from Indiana! TGIF!!

this is so very true ...my x used religion to control, for me to submit ... hard to be that kind of a women while they curse you and speak all kinds of evil against you breaking you down daily , even during the Holidays ..... then go stand in church with them on Sundays. When they then say they have repented but you can still do nothing right to please them, still the constant complaints and ugly words...the attitude still stands. There is no repentance.... with repentance comes change. I’m no contact now.... FREE and starting to heal from the abuse.... going on 2 months no contact.

For the last 16 years I’ve lived in this cycle where my husband was physically, sexually, emotionally and verbally abusive and then immediately after would go back to being super religious and apologize and then I was the “bad Christian” because I was “holding a grudge” by not forgiving or I was a bad wife for “condemning” him when I’d tell him he wasn’t going to change. Even his flying monkeys would say oh he’s back in church... he’s calm now... blah blah blah. No sir! I’ve been out for 3 months and have so much clarity now! A loving God would never be ok with the things he was doing to me.

Oh wow. Yes. I've experienced something like this recently. I moved away from organised religion but did follow one particular online channel. I actually made the fatal error of questioning some of the things I was hearing and expressing concern. Rather than make a deal out of it on the channel I emailed the person whose channel it is directly to go to him with my concerns.He ignored my email. Then on his next video referred to an email he had received from 'an individual ' which had impacted him negatively. He basically went on to reference parts of my email , omitted the full essence of it, and therefore completely misrepresented what I had actually said. Initially I was concerned that I'd offended him , so rather than take a minute to centre myself and be able to see exactly what was happening, I sent an email apologising to him. I never heard back. Now I scratch my head and just wonder how I ended up apologising for expressing valid concerns that had in some way clearly rattled him. I was also just horrified that as he referred to me as 'an individual ' he went onto give a really inaccurate and distorted account of my concerns. I had no way of defending myself as I wasn't part of the discussion on his channel. I guess I was being punished by the silent treatment I have no clue how there is no accountability. I feel that narcissism in faith groups stings a little differently. You just kind of ultimately know what's happened, but the confusion and the disbelief at the time is really awful

Hi Dr. Ramani‼️ My mom the Bible Thumper‼️ My mom is a textbook narcissist. My father is a Deacon at his church. He uses his position to have relationships with the women at the church. He is extremely selfish shows lack of empathy to his family, but will jump to help others. My father goes to church 3 to 5 times per week. There is Sunday church, choir rehearsals, bible study and any church repairs and upkeep, my father is there. The members have placed my father on this high pedestal and he wouldn’t change it for the world.

This makes so much sense!! My mom is the Narcissist in my life, and let me tell you... using God to justify her treatment of us is her specialty. Thank you so much for this video.

I put the pieces together last night at 43 yrs old. My father was a pastor and used extremely covert is narcissism. I'm a helper/scapegoat role. Currently in an abusive relationship which triggered the realization of the childhood abuse. When I saw the information it was very accurate and brought up a intense anger. My younger brother who I think only was a scapegoat attempted vehicular suicide at 16 and was soon labeled paranoid schizophrenic. My father then had him arrested and committed to a state psychiatric asylum which also stored violent patients for rape and murder. I was the only person in my family who gets visited him more than I have. It took 3 years of nearly daily visits to get him out. He was the most loving person I ever met. He never recovered and died at 35. But it wasn't in a real life horror asylum. I love you Mike and miss you so much. Also fuck you dad.

"An elder" Thanks for the shout out to Narcissistic Jehovah's Witnesses Doctor Ramani! Please make more videos on Narcissistic religions or cults. Your work is amazing and has really helped me see "the light" with my father and a narcissistic religion that controlled me for so long.

Doc, genuine religion is absolutely opposed to narcissistic behavior. Doug

To quote my ex-narc: "I'm a Christian. I cannot lie." He totally ABUSES GOD!! And I have a hard time figuring out how God allows this to happen. He even held the bible into my face with verses of forgiveness, so he can get away with his crimes. His forcing of religion onto me never worked for me.

I'm a conservative Latin rite Catholic Christian. Love my religion, and it actually healed most of my problems in life, and gave me meaning I didn't have before my conversion, and it's my main centerpiece of life. However, I unfortunately have to agree with you in this video that the greater majority of people I go to church with and even in other religions and non Catholic churches are extremely narcissistic, and insanely unchristlike. It's gotten frustrating for me to the point where I've now decided to not even talk to other people at mass, and just go for my own spiritual well being. I just notice too that with these religious narcissists, their beliefs revolve more around men and community, rather than with God, and practicing meditation. It's sad but an unfortunate reality.

I am almost 65 years old and I have to say I have just recently been exposed to the meanest, cruelest, coldest, toxic person in my entire life and it has ended up being my own narcissistic very religious sister who prides herself and boasts about going to church every day. Now come to find out my other sister is and has been my entire life her flying monkey and recently turned on me as well. They are both in their 60's, single, never been married and only interact with each other - no room for me in their lives.

Yep, has definitely happened to me. My ex husband self proclaims that he is such a righteous man of God but yet calls me names, invalidates me, shames me in many ways. He has no problem hurting me at all and still proclaiming that he is such a devout Godly man. Sickening.

My husband is a pastor and a narcissist. We separated last month. I have a lot of healing to do. Particularly as it relates to Christianity thank you for doing this teaching. It’s very needed. I started my own you tube channel Love in Motion to bring awareness to religious hypocrisy.

Dr Ramani, This really resonated with me. My X husband was the church Angel and house devil. He did a lot of religious things...tithed 10% of his income to the church, drove the church bus to pick up handicapped people, plowed the churches parking lot, read the bible, etc. But at home, constantly out me down, punched holes in walls, talked about a lot of people, made a big deal if I spent ten dollars for a short at wal mart. Said that he had to do away with me in order to do "Gods will"!!!!! And then in the end....screwed me in the divorce too and had already had another woman which he married not long after the divorce. So, he was also cheating too! Yet, in the church raising his hands being a complete phony... Beware......these people are out there!

My mother was a religious narcissist. I decided 15 years ago to cut ties to her. I am so much more happy now.

I don’t get this fad of folks walking around announcing “I’m blessed”. What does that mean, a precursor to gaslighting? A lie or con? They had a visit from a Devine spirit telling them so? Thank you Dr. Ramani, excellent topic and great talk.

Wow, thank you for this video! I spent the last two years of my life in an Islamic marriage for the sake of God, in which I experienced every single thing that you mentioned in this (and all of your other) videos. It was insanely confusing to navigate as a new convert, I literally had no idea the religion was being twisted and was being used for insanity and HYPOCRISY! After finally just exiting this relationship, I can’t tell if I need domestic violence counseling, narcissistic abuse counseling, Islamic counseling, or what! On top of tthat, entering a confusing state prosecuted criminal case. It’s seriously one thing after another, nothing makes ANY sense, religiously or rationally. All I can do is keep listening to your RU-vid videos and keep walking myself through the reality of the situation with logic. Thank you Dr Ramani, bless you!!!!!

Hello. My mother wasn't a strong church going person. She hurt me a lot when I was a kid. When she was dying she asked me for forgiveness for everything she did to me. I told her I just wanted her to feel better. I didn't forgive her. The pain, and emotional abuse she inflicted on me was unforgivable. I just stayed quiet afterwards. She got angry at me, and I could tell she wanted to curse me out. She gave me a nasty look. That was the last time I felt in control of my mental state. She couldn't hurt me anymore.

Thank you SO MUCH for your simple, direct and TOTAL UNDERSTANDING you're a GENIUS !!!