My last serious relationship was with both of us being anxious attachment styles and it was like burning the candle at both ends. We had the most blissful six months ever but got so lost in each other that we stopped having individual identities and there was never enough distance to keep that amazingness from becoming just normal and eventually we started fighting and we were so vulnerable to each other that they escalated higher and higher causing more and more pain until we were forced to let go, and with no sense of self left it was devastating. There was a lot i would do differently now, learned a lot.
Thank you for opening up and sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to reflect on past relationships and learn from them. Wishing you all the best in your future endeavors!
Wow, sounds like a turning point opportunity. I think everyone should date their own style for a reasonable amount of time at least once. Looking in the mirror is so valuable
@@laurah2831 never considered the concept of actually aiming for someone with your attachment style. Very interesting. Kind of a side note but made me think, i used to only enter relationships If i thought there was a good chance they were like “the one” for lack of better term, but that kind of held me back from learning from relationships and becoming more suitable should i actually meet the person id want to settle down with. So i probably would have disagreed in the past with intentionally entering a relationship for experience, that experience is kind of necessary to become a good partner i think, it’s a skill that needs practice.
My ex anxious partner made me more secure. That only made him more anxious and started to make the relationship more uncomfortable. It was one of my longer relationships. Now I’m with an avoidant but we are only 6 months in and I’m ready to call a quits lol. God has such a great sense of humor 🤣.
Briana! Thanks =) In almost 14 mins you said so much, so difficult to explain and you nailed it! I am impressed, very clear and very helpful, have a lovely day, I can't wait to watch more videos I discovered you now! Hugs, Mariana, in UK
I've been dating a woman for about eight weeks and it's going really well. We are both anxiously-attached types. We mirror each other in many ways. Same age. Divorced. Compatible core values. And many other details as well. I'm only starting to learn about attachment styles. The things you teach on your channel ring true for me. This video in particular is quite fascinating to me for obvious reasons. At first she behaved like an avoidant type. Even certain things she said to me were textbook avoidant catch phrases. But she was confident that her attachment style was that of an anxious type. She said she only acts avoidant towards me. Haha. This was all before we actually started dating. I was chasing her. I thoroughly enjoyed chasing her. But she wouldn't let me catch her. I got tired of chasing and never catching so I stopped chasing. What happened next was that she started chasing me. But I did not run. I stood my ground. I feel like we connect very strongly and attune to each other really well. Maybe it's our age and experience. We're both 53 years old and both divorced from long term marriages which ended badly. It's been a beautiful experience so far.
I have an anxious attachment style and so did my last ex. The relationship was a lot as you described. In many ways, we seemed to have this amazing chemistry and I felt a connection to him more than anyone I've dated. On the downside, he had a much stronger need for control, a lack of empathy, and showed many signs of OCPD. He often demeaned me and criticized me for not fitting his perfect "standard" and even when I expressed how much it hurt me, he wouldn't apologize and he would double down on his insult.