What If a guy tell you that he doesn't want you but still call and text your phone, still trying to see you? Just block him or explain I thought you wasn't interested.
@@lovemyself9125 Girl, been there before. The sooner you block him the better. The reason why is because he already told you what you needed to know. He said he doesn't want you and will later justify himself by saying "I told you that I didn't want to be with you." Not saying it's right, but basically anything you choose to do with him after he told you that will be on you. He may also hit you with the line, "I can't give you what you want" (commitment) which means the same thing as I don't want to be with you, but doesn't sound as harsh to a woman. He keeps contacting you hoping that you will give up your body, because he doesn't feel as guilty now that he told you that he doesn't want to be with you. I'm not trying to be Tony Gaskins Jr., but I have seen this before once in my life as well as with several women I know. Trust me when I say 🏃🏾🏃🏾🏃🏾🏃🏾!
If a woman is wise she will only entertain men who literally "jump through hoops to be with her". Anything less is going to end in disappointment sooner or later.
Not always the case either. When you are dealing with a narcissist. They will start out that way. It's best to just chill for a minute, and focus on you. Try not to entertain certain people. Everything that look or even sound good. Isn't always good.
Amen Janelle, it took me while to understand that ole saying. But as I've gotten older I began to realize that blessing in disguise. Man rejects you God is protecting you. Like you said man's rejection gods protection.
If someone doesn't want you..move on..live your life..focus on yourself from within. Your beautiful. Your worthy. You deserve all the love in the world. Love yourself first💕💕 have a blessed day..
I don't want a "pretty" man as a husband bc he might forget that I'm the prize 😏 Give me someone who's average with everything on my emotional checklist and I'll be content.
These days it doesn't matter. I had a ugly bucket and he still was wanted. He had money and a good personality the life of the party everyone buddy.🤦🏼♀️
@@aquarius4life True. Sounds like your guy had charisma. It explains why some guys who are not attractive at all can seemingly get any woman they want.
He can be a mud duck in the face, kind heart (in the beginning) now sis, you KNOW when the next woman see that kind of man with a woman especially If she's pretty, that's when the vultures come out and want to see If they can pull him from you. And if hes weak or wanna prove to himself he still "got it", he will go for the bait. (There primary thoughts are, "well damn, how did he pull her? He must have money or hes packin'! I wanna find out what it could be!"
Girl!! I agree 1000%! The story of my life... People know that I have high standards so if they see me with someone then yeah, they know it's gotta be something else besides the physical.
When you want to be with someone that doesn't want you , you end up making all of the effort and all of the pursuing. While they make little effort or none at all.
A man who wouldn't be attracted to me because I don't live up to the world's standard of beauty would be a man who doesn't live up to my standards of character and integrity, so we both not gonna be up to par. BE BLESSED.
What about his beauty lol ? Why do we have to choose men just for character when they choose us for beauty? It should be the same bc we both want the same
Each time I listen to you, you change my perspective on life and relationships because everything you said I been guilty of that somewhat. 2020 is definitely going to be my year of blooming which includes finding my husband, becoming a better human and maximizing my potential. I have so much information now. Happy New Year to you and your family.
I learned in an extremely hard way that I was only hurting myself. Unrequited love is painful but I loved myself first and in a much better place mentally. It's ok if that person doesn't want you, someone else who may be better will love you back too!🤗😚 Hugs and kisses y'all.
You see him as a dime while he views you as a nickel. You then become a benefit to him & upgraded to a dime to him when you add to your worth. Know the difference between being wanted and being used. Great example Tony, BE BLESSED! ✅🙏🏽
I just clicked on the title because my kids father just said to me that "I pursued him, he didn't pursue me" We haven't been together since 2014 but we have 2 girls! We were together 8 and half years and it was PURE HELL!!! He was physically abusive! I stayed because I didn't know love and I was scared of raising my kids alone! He represented my idea of what family was--man woman children! Not knowing that family doesn't always show up that way! I unconsciously told myself I didn't want to be like my mother! In reality I am just like her and now I understand her WHYS! I didn't as a young girl! My father was abusive and so she didn't have a choice but to raise us alone! I literally just realized the difference between you wanting someone and someone wanting you!!! Love is what love does and never want someone who doesn't want you and show that!!!😘😘😘😘
Yes that is true first you have to love yourself . My family model was toxic my mom and dad were fighting all the a lot of physical and emotional abuse involved. I end up thinking that’s the normal thing and I choose poorly and experience the same type of toxic relationship so yes choose wisely I love yourself first.
Woe to the lady who gets the “10” guy. Double edged sword. Lots of maintenance and worry and upkeep with a Ferrari. You always gotta worry who and what now. Plus the good looking guy don’t always treat you the best. Sometimes their character hasn’t been developed, because their looks have gotten them off the hook. See Tony’s manual lol
Sometimes the lil uglies don’t have good character too. Bottom line look for character and emotional security instead of “nice guys”. Because sometimes they don’t have good character either😅 But he’s agree with you as well!!
That could be why people push good people away, they’re addicted to trying to “conquer” the type that rejected them because it soothes their ego. If that makes sense. Instead of forgetting about the people that rejected them they just have to win them over and miss out on real love. That means that they also see themselves as the nickel!
Yes! And I think that's why some black men came up with the ideology about seeing white women as a trophy. Without money or success, they wouldn't be able to attract them!
I agree, and I just don't understand why they have to hurt innocent women along the way...they know exactly what type of woman they're looking for so why all the childish games?😢
Gotta be honest with yourself. Then and ONLY THEN will she truly realize that her "want" for him is usually based in her own insecure lack of validation. You have to fully love every part of yourself ladies.
I realize after listening to this video that I was definitely looking for validation because of my own insecurities. I have taken myself off the market to truly heal and all I want now seems simple yet complicated and unrealistic with what's on the market these days. I'm not actively looking and because I realize I have to undo so many years of foolishness I've allowed. Tony's videos are always on point and I thank him dearly for being the big brother I never had.
😮😮😢😢😢 OMG, I'm in tears bc you are saying exactly how I'm feeling!!! I have a lot of work to do!!! This video hitttttttt 🎯 home soooooo much! I didn't know I still have insecurities like this!.
My husband said he chose me because he thought I was out of his league or as a trophy wife. years later he cheated, he acted out as if he's empty inside. That's when I realized he didn't love me at all
My type USED to be a self-asorbed, emotionally unavailable man, just like my father...I dated men very close to his persona; I was seeking validation from them, just like I sought validation from my father (And never received it). What we are innately attracted to can be deeply psychological and directly connected to how we perceived our opposite sex parent showed love to us. It took a lot of inner work and therapy to remove those shackles from my brain. Wishing you all the best on your partner journies...
I don't care about looks but that soul gotta be right! I like a MAN with a pure spirit, comedic personality, smelling good , well dressed, God fearing, and some peanut butter brown loafers 😂😂
Be very careful what you say while youre down. There is always hope but some of us have to fight for it and keep believing. However if you dont believe and seal it with uour words then you are right. Only thing is a year or 2 down the line you may want someone but youve already sealed your fate with your words!
Be encouraged! Know that you need only one good man, so if the men you’ve dated haven’t worked out that means they weren’t the “one.” Focus on yourself. 🙌🏽
Attractiveness comes from within...perioddd! Tony my dad use to tell me everyday I was beautiful and that I could achieve anything and to ALWAYS put GOD FIRST! I said that to say this some people look for others to validate them and give them a VIP card to be apart of society and some people just need to breathe and be not conformed to the world! GOD is our maker not the world! So I believe that TRUE beauty is internal and that type of beauty will ALWAYS shine through!
"You looking at them as a Dime and they looking at you as a nickel." Wow, Food for thought. " But if they added some money or a great position to your life then all of a sudden you become a dime and now they just using you." Facts 💯 percent, Facts. You always keep it 200, don't ever change that. Blessings to you and your family for 2020! Be blessed 🙏🙏
My brother Tony, you have struck again. It seems every time I listen to you, you uplift my soul. You just helped me to see how to let go of somebody I needed to let go of quite some time now. I just kept holding on. Holding on hoping against hope that she might change, and she may yet change. But in the meantime I don't have to hold on to her, losing sleep, waiting for her to change. Instead I'm going to go forward continue to work on myself, which got her in the first place, but then she needs to work on herself. Cuz I have learned the truth that you do attract what you are. I think listening to you that's the first time I really understood that. And besides, if we wait on God why we're working on ourselves God will bring you together with the person he has intended for you. And if we're fair in our judgment. The person we may not have ever considered, becomes the most beautiful thing we've ever seen. Well anyway God bless you brother Tony and your family, in Jesus name amen.
This is 💯facts. Ladies beware when a man wants you to lose weight to look a certain way. He could want a girl that weighs 100lbs and you weigh 160lbs. You are happy with yourself and know you could lose 10lbs or whatever. This man doesn't want you. He wants someone completely different. Take the time to get to know someone. It will save you needless heartache.
Be Blessed. A few years ago it occurred to me that if we were all blind, more of us would have our mate. We would have connected on a heart, soul and spirit level.
Be blessed.... Glad he broke down basically being attracted to someone, because I don't have a type but I do need to be attracted to them and their character. I don't want someone who wants me to validate them, which has been the case....
Thank you Tony for being consistent with your videos! I believe "2020" is your year of abundance and overflow..May God continue to bless you and your family!
I wasted a year on someone who didn’t want me only. At the beginning everything was perfect. 2 days ago his phone was in my car so I went through it and found everything I needed to know. He’s been texting me and calling me like crazy, saying I was his person. I clapped back with the ‘I wasn’t the one or only one you wanted so ima fall back and do me’ . I’m not about to be anyone’s play toy 🙄
Kudos to you! I am currently going through this. I had to break up with him because he follows too many women on IG and they follow him back. Coupled with liking eachother's photos and hiding the fact that he was in a relationship, I had to put my track shoes on his ass🏃🏻♀️💨💨💨
Lauren Luv I scaled back my jumping at his beckoning calls. But, I am nervous about stepping back and walking away, because It’s been a year and our communication is not good, it’s a situationship. Ugh. But, recently he introduced me as “a friend”. I was devastated. I knew then, it wasn’t good for me.
KoastalPeach Hello, my unsolicited advice to you is if he introduced you as a “friend” , then be just that, a friend. Do not give him any special treatment or attention that you would normally give to a boyfriend.
I agree with his wisdom. Also, I realized we look for co-dependency in a man that isn't good for us when we aren't loving (valuing) ourselves. We must work on our inner self first while not don't allowing those men to be time wasters.
This one hit home a bit. Thankfully I have been on that journey to declutter from views that are pushed by society and getting to the root of other insecurities. Trying to make sense of this one man that I liked. I know he is not right for me but getting over him is really hard. Tony I would appreciate if you made a video about how to get over your first love and/or crush. Be blessed
Sometimes we gotta tell ourselves the truth even though it’s hard and we don’t want to hear it but a lot of people get with people for the sole reason of what they can benefit. choosing people for the wrong reasons like Tony said. From my experience, I truly wanted someone for the memories we shared and not necessarily for what I deserved because they could never give it to me, sad but that’s life.
Validationnnn💡. That's it Tony! I think I'm past a certain type looks wise, but I've wasted a lot of time on dudes who didn't think highly enough of me to be in a real relationship while ignoring those who wanted to do me right (looks didn't always play a part).Thanks for doing the video!
I agree with what Tony is saying , and yes I catch myself sometimes wanting men just for their looks. But most of the time even if a guy is super attractive but does not have the qualities of a good man, I will cut him out and get over him fast. I don;t have a specific type with certain hair or height , but I am attracted to certain types of men that kind of suit me. A woman is able to tell how sexually compatible she is with a man within 15 seconds of seeing him. We are built to find a partner that looks like will produce good and healthy offspring. I am going to settle for someone I am not physically and sexually attractive on some good level just cuz he's a good man. I always double check my view on a guy I put into a friend zone and almost all the time i let him kind of show me who is ,and there have been times I did develop feelings for my guy friends. But most of the time there is a reason I put someone in a friend zone, I simply don't find them sexually compatible , and every time I forced myself to like them or give them a chance even if they were a good man, I could not imagine myself being married to them and making love. So I think Tony has a good point about not getting hung up on a man just cuz of his looks, but I don't agree that we women overlook too many men.If a man chooses a girl based on if she is his type of not when he sees her, I think the same should go for women. Ladies don't force yourself into going for a guy if he is a good man but you truly don't feel a sexual attraction to them. My mom always says that sometimes you get an appetite while youre eating ,not before. But i personally don't want to force myself mentally to have sex with a man and then hope i will develop that sexual attraction.
I agree 100%. Being with a man who you are not physically attracted to is also extremely unfair to him because you will always be faking your attraction. I don't see how a relationship like that can last in the long run. I also don't know why people act like women have to settle all of the time. Why can't we get a man who is attractive inside and out??
@@la6136 exactly! If there is no initial attraction then it’s very hard for a relationship to start in the first place, let’s be honest. Unless you don’t think you’re attractive yourself or you’re desperate, there’s no other reason people force themselves to be with someone they don’t find sexually attractive.
I totally agree with you. We need to start looking at the heart and not looks all the times. I rather be treated correctly! Self love is another point you made that stood out for me. When you love and respect yourself others will as well. Thanks Coach great video! Be Blessed
This was 🗣a word from the LORD you step on my toes all I can say ouch I had to ask the lord for forgiveness 2020 I just want my life to reflect gods love to others and myself !
Yooooooooooo! Mr. Gaskins, this is sooo true. I've never been into muscular men, but since I've gained like 50 pounds, I've really been into men that go to the gym and have no stomach. Its validation. Cause I'm like if they still want me, I still got it. 😫💔 This guy I'm having a hard time letting go. Ugh😫💔
Humility should be a key character trait in both men and women. Most people are so superficial that they are always checking for something or someone that " looks right, or has the right stats" on paper. Not even concerned with what they are inside. I know that this sounds cliche, but inner beauty and inner goodness counts if you want someone who will love and care for you the way you want and need it! Be Blessed!!
I know that women or men should be superficial,but have you noticed that women are counciled on that issue whaaat more than men. Women would love to have the whole package. ( looks and morals). How many men say," Oh yeah she's the one for me. I think she's nice,without caring about her physical attraction.
Just realised I've been chasing an emotionally unavailable guy who reminds me of my first boyfriend who cheated on me...chasing that validation that I am attracted and can keep a man rather than wanting him specifically. Ugh. Gross. Trying to heal. Thanks Tony
I was finally able to finish watching this right now. Be blessed! Rejection causes a lot of insecurity in people sometimes. Based on what I get from this video, the one's that didn't want them, or they couldn't get in their younger years are the one's they want now to make up for the rejection that caused the insecurity in the first place. That's deep.
Jay Z was the one who wanted Beyonce because that's the type that rejected him in the past. Beyonce chose Jay Z because us Virgos are attracted to people we wanna save. The broken ones....smh
That's true. You can give a facially challenged man or a man who is normally not what you would consider "your type ", a chance or benefit of the doubt still they have issues bigger than the relationship..
tanya 4everloyal sis I hope you heal . Did you sign up for his 5.00 course (different ones for self improvement ) and the free self love course at Tony gaskins academy . We heal by bettering ourselves and loving us real hard❤️💯Be strong
This is another good topic," Wanting someone who doesn't want you" .............for an example people just only interested of what you can do for them, but they don't want you.........Of course, I never had that problem, I'll tell them speak to the HAND..........that goes for men & women.............
Men need to stop looking for women who look like the what they see on reality tv, singers, actresses etc. and see the good thing God may have placed in front of them as well..🤷🏾♀️
Good Afternoon Tony. Thanks for continuing with this. I know we touch on it a little with our Q&A on Sunday. I appreciate your dedication and consistency on these videos. Blessed Tribe
He is correct!!! We may be walking past our future husbands every day. My fault I am so picky when it comes to looks. Thing is I am not all that myself!😭
Be blessed, thank you for your wisdom. You are so right I know someone that has been single for years and judged someone based on her past and missed out on a good person who changed and was not her past anymore.
Butterfly Queen yep sis. That size was always my preference .. so finally I looked at others that wasn’t my type body wise.. and they all act the same 🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️
Do other cultures have the same dating, relationship, marriage... problems that black people have??? It seems like our people are the laughing stock of the world when it comes to certain things... especially how we relate to each other in romantic relationships!!! As a black woman it’s automatically assumed in society that I’m not married, that I am a single parent, and that I don’t know who my father is... We gotta get it together if we expect to survive!
Rain River yes some of my white and Asian female friends are having the same issues. Commitment and marriage is not held in a very high regard amongst men these days, unfortunately.
PrettyTaurus I guess it’s just a sad reality of the age that we live in. I sometimes wonder how in-the-hell did we get to the place of such friction between the sexes... reading each other’s playbooks??? Kinda feels like a high school dance with guys on one side of the gym and girls on the other, music is perfect but nobody wants to look like a fool and make a move...So nobody makes a move... and everybody leaves the dance still clueless...
Omg ! You just set that captives free! I legit needed to hear this to break I cycle in 2020. Seriously an eye opener ! Thank u Uncle Tony! Happy new year y’all 🌟🥂🍾
