Well. Let’s read Colin Trevorrow’s Episode IX script 

Why is this pinned?

@@Ethan-nl2wg Pun, 'face heel turn' is a wrestling term for when somebody shockingly goes full bad, here Kylo's face literally heals when he turns against his new teacher

Ethan there are always really random things pinned on this channel. Idk y

@@Ethan-nl2wg Jenny usually pins comments she really loves. That's all!

Ng You Bbbgi ah that makes sense

Maybe there could be a post crucification lament…

i love this comment. gotta go deep into jenny nicholson cinematic universe

best comment

Those who live by the lightsaber, die by the lightsaber...

*[random bits of racism from a pastor]*

No, giving back the jacket is a total breakup move.

@Spiro Agnew he was a little short for a storm trooper

Lmao I'm dead

@Joshua J/videos Cause Tumblrites only care about wish fulfillment. They will most often even "ship" the actors themselves and harass them in their social media accounts because they want to fantasize about their characters being gay.

@Joshua J Poe's actor explicitly said he played the character as romantically interested in Finn and wanted them to be together

she should have shared it with rose, since she loves numbers

You won't believe number 5!! 😲🤯

Number 15: Every Night Nightmare Screams. The last thing you'd want every night is to wake up screaming, but as it turns out, that might be what you get.

Shaun Cheah that comment was extremely well executed

Ok let's talk about theme! What are my internal struggles *about* ?

It's magnificent but I'm not sure I'd trade it for the many-many-layered absurd glory of, "I'M THE SPY!" To keep my mockery of that line short. 1) Your enemy's fighting an asymmetric war against you - they probably have many, many spies in the First Order - you're only _'the_ spy' to the audience. 2) The framing and the way it's shot is so overblown I couldn't stop laughing for several minutes in the theatre (thankfully I laugh silently or a lot of folks would have been pissed off). 3) ...dude, we know. You just shot three of your own guys. 4) As Jenny covered in her video on the actual Episode IX, his reason for being THE SPY is comically absurd. It's so bad, they'd probably have been better just not explaining it at all. 5) Seriously, that framing. I still smile thinking about it. The sum total of things I enjoyed in that movie were Poe's _incredibly_ basic character arc, with which I thought Oscar Isaacs did really well, the long take of the gang trying and failing to escape prior to that scene, the astronomical corniness of a cavalry charge along the top of a Star Destroyer and, "I'M THE SPY," being shot as if it was the most important plot point in the entire movie. Weird that both shining lights involved Hux, now that I think about it, but then they were shining lights of glorious stupidity.

...although this does also have, "tell me the odds Threepio, I like numbers," which might be the feeblest attempt at callback... fan... service(?) I've ever seen. Like, I can't read it any other way. "Remember when Han used to get pissed off at C-3PO for telling him the odds? Here's someone... doing the opposite in an embarrassingly clunky way because I haven't been able to think of anything for her to say that's remotely in-character for a while and out-of-character is better than nothing. Huh? That do anything for you?"

i love it when he went "it's starwarsing time" and then proceeded to star all over the wars. truly, one of the scipts of all time.

I feel like “You lost the Star Wars” on screen could have been the end of Episode IX.

They did, give or take, try this approach in the theatrical release with, "I'm the spy." It was wildly, wildly entertaining but did ultimately prove your suspicions by dint of not saving anything.

Hux had like the most anticlimactic death ever--I burst out laughing at his death. Not saying I hated TROS, but that caught me off-guard and made me laugh XD

@@drakeredwingofficial The way his hair just fans around as he's shot made me burst into laughter in the middle of the cinema. I can't explain why, it's just so....it looked so goddamn silly lol

@@DeadKraken I know--it was an unintentionally hilarious scene

Bruh...hes my favorite character;-; and yall laughed at his death lol jk but he is I found th hat sad they completely wasted his character :/

We should just be grateful it wasn't an anthropomorphic wolf.

Nah, he's just going through a pretentious phase and has been reading a lot of Lacan.

Kylo Ren, photo-shopping the navel-high trousers onto his body: this is what peak performance looks like. You may not like it

Matt the Radar Tech

This sounds hilarious and I can only imagine him looking more like a edgelord vader.

Jenny can throw nuclear-level shade when she wants to.

She is frigging hilarious.

This cockroach Sith thing pisses me off so hard because there is actually some genuine potential here, with this evil counterpart of Yoda. Of course that would have been introduced at least back in TLJ for it to work... but even then, when Kylo first encounters him, it feels like this dude is an ultimate badass that will make Kylo look like a Sith pony. And then... he goes down like a fucking punk. Without as much as putting up a minor fight. Jesus Christ, Trevorrow, no wonder all of your movies suck.

49:09 for those who want it handy!

If they were going to power up Kylo, they should've just had him gaining strength through Dark Side lore and the damage he does - a Darksider can feed on that if I understand the lore. You could do even do it with fanservicey relics in his throne room and a "in my travels I have walked on Korriban/Rusaan/Mustafar" reference.

It’s the kind of thing a Bond villain would say after shooting a minion who failed him.

When you finally win the boss battle after getting killed eight times:

timestamp?

@@sabianwatts8515 49:09

jenny would be an absolutely incredible supervillain we should be thankful she chose this path instead of

LMFAO

Also Leia: "Come home, son" Also Kylo: "okay mum"

I love this

Leia: Please kill my son, he is too cringe

If Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford had a kid, would you expect anything better?

I still cannot believe that Lucasfilm didn't plan out all 3 movies, and instead let each movie be a reaction to the last

"projected their own weird hang ups onto the same material." I think you just described part of the process of film analysis. If three different people watch a film, it stands to reason that they might come away with three different interpretations.

@@dapeach06/videos That would take actual effort and artistic responsibility. Disney execs: "We don't do that here."

@@dapeach06 tbf that can work, witness the Dark Knight Trilogy (and a lot of the MCU is plainly improvised, hence Tony blows up all his suits in Iron Man 3 but then has even more come Age of Ultron). The problem is in the execution, that IX ends up flying in the face of the themes of VIII because the writers failed or refused to engage with them.

Kimmy Edie 7 was awful

"you don't just have comedic timing. You have HIS comedic timing. Jenny, you're a Palpatine."

What's a palpabletiny?

The dark side of the force is a pathway to many takes some consider to be unnatural.

Omg that made me snort lol!

She's AlL tHe SiTh

Which was basically nothing

Yesss!!! That follows up their TLJ stuff so well!

……what was Rose’s finale? I don’t even remember her showing up except to say she had to do busy work 😅

@@devantesissenstein4714 too accurate 💀

@@devantesissenstein4714I’m pretty sure the last time she ever appears is celebrating that they won and then just vanishes

BUT WE MADE THE FRIENDS ALONG THE WAY

Maybe the real Star Wars was the friends we made along the way.

@@commandercaptain4664 THE REAL STAR WARS WAS INSIDE US ALL ALONG

THE STAR WARS IS NO MORE

*Dr Ball, MD hated that*

Meddroid: We can fuse metal plates to your soul to keep you alive. Padme: ight imma head out

sadness is very lethal to women, don't you know

That was palps who killed her bro bro. Told Vader it was him.

Seriously Palpatine did that, The whole lost the will to live things was the droids best explanation for Palpatine draining her life, they even show you her happy and still with hope for anakin. This is probably the most overlooked plot point in all the prequels. Palpatines final betrayal, the power promised to vader killing the one he wanted to save.

Thrair

@@h3adcrabbio toilet

@@RebelCannonClub74 A throne of kings

Almost all of Star Wars is fanfic at this point.

Perhaps it could be found in a throne room.

Of course there was! How could Rey and Poe possibly match the masterpiece-level writing that was Trapped in A Island With Josh Hutcherson?

I’m still reeling from Trapped In A Island With Jenny Nicholson

@@thisisbetterthanmyprevious6674 Bro

@@yeethittter1285 You killed them bro 😔

@@thisisbetterthanmyprevious6674 Bro bro don't snitch 😠

As Girls Just Wanna Have Fun plays in the background

She’s all that(s left of the jedi)

@@oldschool3424 I was actually picturing Material Girl

@@oldschool3424 I imagined an alien-disco instrumental (and for some reason, she's chewing bubble gum)

So are Adam Drivers. So I was very confused who they were referring too in that scene.

The moment I heard that I had to scroll down to the comments to see if it jumped out at anyone else lol

Hannah Raquel I thought I was the only one that was like ???? I can’t believe Jenny didn’t notice that! Carrie’s big brown doe-eyes were one of her most distinguishing features!

@@SimmerRose It's also one of the reasons why casting Adam Driver as her son was such a good move imo because he has a bit of the same doe-eyed quality combined with Harrison's longer facial shape. And drawing attention to that would make sense for the scene since it's cutting from him to her but guess not lol

Liquid Pig exactly! I’ve been thinking that about Adam since TFA! But yeah I guess Trevorrow is either blind or has little to no object permanence

I would have taken someone saying, just off-hand, "And now we duel with Fate"

"Truly, we are fighting a Star Wars Episode 9: Duel of the Fates."

She truly is a rogue one

In a last ditch attempt, Kylo Ren attacks our heroes with menacing phantoms.

“Let the duel of the fates begin”

In-house snark isn't always efficient, sometimes you've gotta outsource. It's just going to be cheaper and better than re-inventing the wheel for every project.

That's a rare occurrence. Like Glover in Community. They trust him because they know he's genuinely funny

​@@phoenixdzkYou're absolutely right about Donald Glover, but they don't have to wait for the actor to fill in the blank. Surely they can find *somebody* funny.

Like, it’s a ridiculous line, but I can’t say it wasn’t effective in describing the visual.

Their attitude was more punk than punk

The light shined brighter than a silver studded punk belt

I want to add this to my vocabulary like patches on a punk jacket

Finn shouts 'REY!!!' like a punk chorus.

awww stop, I already struggel so much to take the poor guy seriously. Now I feel even more bad for him :(

Aww gee, boss. You sure are force choking me. *Coughs unenthusiastically*

It’s just a stormtrooper under the table with a magnet

he looks like a coke feind💀

I am imagining it as a comedy skit where the whole thing is a metaphor for a couple having lame sex. Hux: "Feel my power!" Underling: "Ack! Oh god! Ahhh!" Hux: "... you're faking it, aren't you?" Underling: "N-no...!" Hux: "You are. I've seen how you react when *Ren* force chokes you."

just hope you learnt after watch Disney star wars how not to make a movie.

yes

Marina p I have images of De Niro at the Oscars just going “and Best Picture goes to YOU MESS WID WON OF US YOU MESS WID ALL OF US: The Movie”

@Lord Renek Gamer Always have a plan.

oh, yes~

Pretty gruesome, huh?

Omg 😭😂😂😂

@@bookshelfhoney I’ve seen worse :)

Literally laughed out loud, thanks 😆

Kylo Kingson

Or alternatively where she plays every character and is just sort of photoshopped into various landscapes

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-G0JxmyTwY7s.html You mean like this?

“You’re a palpatine” although honestly it probably wouldn’t sound any different

Jenny leaned into these lines WAY more than she needed to, lol.

Jenny could do the "audio description" tracks they make for deaf people.

😳 OH MY GOD-- *do you think they might've actually read it...?*

I'm just sitting here wondering if I'm thinking about the right kind of force sucking.. ...

@@TheWeeklyFangirl I'm pretty sure they read everything they could that was even remotely Star Wars related to try and right the ship. We all know how that worked out.

Blackmoon Rising was the stealth RoS script we never knew we needed.

I think it’s a royal mandate there

Great crossover 10/10

this sounds like a cool funny reference but i can't find what exactly it's referencing

@@blubboiii7706 it's a reference to her Christmas Prince review

No wonder they had that economic crisis.

that would be lowkey great, please make a sitcom where that's a thing

@@liaspooked4980 It would have to be like Perfect Strangers and Obi Wan is the over the top one because he's a ghost and no one but Vader can see him.

Oh my god I want it

that could've been a comedy

Every time he force-chokes somebody, Obi Wan doesn’t say anything, but he floats into Vader’s eyeline with a ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)-vader is too afraid to ask so he just gets a little uncomfortable every time it happens

^ T H I S ^

Especially since while people rarely have family that were tragically murdered to protect them or be decended from evil overlords, many people, as unfortunate as it is, have parents where were normal, shitty, neglectful people. No grand dark mystery, just assholes. Having Rey come from that sort background would not only be better for the story but would resonate with a lot of people, and it's honestly sad that the writers didn't think that was a story worth telling.

Well... Rian Johnson thought that was worth telling

Yes but this is the Skywalker saga. I don't know, from my point of view everything should be related to Anakin

I hope that writing a good Episode Nine is just an unsolvable problem because if not it means the best that Hollywood’s “top screenwriting talent” could manage are all awful in their own special ways.

I love the implication in this comment that Kylo Ren does not remove his clothing until he is physically already inside a (choosing to extrapolate here for the comedy) already turned on shower, v funny imagery that also fits more with his characterisation than some things in these various script treatments

They can't imagine not having great parents. But the reality is that there are neglectful or abusive parents all around

It’s weird people fixated on Rey’s parents so much, the impression I got was that she was deluding herself into thinking they would come back for her when it was pretty obvious they abandoned her from the word go.

Rey Nobody was a mystery box JJ wanted to save the true reveal of Rey’s background for the final installment Rey being Han and Leias daughter was on the table; Rey was based on the character Kira Solo from George’s draft Of course nothing was set in stone, however Rian needed some kind of “I am your father” moment and Rey Nobody was the only one that was retractable depending on what the following filmmaker wanted to do Remember: Rian could have shown Rey’s parents in the cave vision but he didn’t. He could have had their names/surnames mentioned but he didn’t. And we could have seen the flashback of Reys parents dumping her on Jakku in TLJ but we didn’t. Last but not least Kylo ren despite being a bargain basement Darth Vader has somewhat of a reason to lie as he wants her to join him Anyway see Star Wars Apocrypha by Nerdnonymous The moral is when George Lucas hands you a story for the sequel trilogy then THAT is the story of the sequel trilogy

@@KRobinson-ko1neI get what you’re saying but Rian DID give us an answer, most people just weren’t happy with it. I am sad that JJ felt the need to say Rian’s answer wasn’t good enough.

I wish so much that I could quote this casually because every Day would be better if I got to say "I could kiss you" but it doesn't scan right coming from me so I have to live this stupid life without it ah well

You’re doing the lord’s work out here.

As Peter Griffin once said "Ah, so that's why they call it that"

This reminds me of Count Dooku who has the BEST sith lord name and yet nobody refers to him as Darth Tyrannus 😂 He must have felt so fucking cool when he came up with that and everyone just went ...nah well just call you Dooku.

@@francescapatti2934 I believe they didn't know Dooku's Sith name was Tyranus until Season 6 of The Clone Wars

@@unknownexerpt4724 Sidious calls him that in Episode II.

@@jonathanlgill Yes but they didn't know Tyrannus and Dooku are the same until much later in the clone wars. I think. It's been a while

Please don’t take this the wrong way but this reminds me of a TikTok I saw of someone calling out transphobic Star Wars fans for insisting that people not deadname Darth Vader but refusing to respect the wishes of people in the real world. I know literally none of that is what you’re talking about it’s just something that entered my mind

1 month later, this cycle repeats itself

@@Flowtail 1 month later the cycle repeats itself yet again.

Max Strand well shit here’s hoping i get replies to this until the end of time

@@Flowtail lol

@@Flowtail I decided to give the video a thumbs up at "decided to solve this problem by wearing MANY hats," and then looked for a place to post saying that I did.

How do I save a RU-vid comment

@@moredetonation3755 copy/paste in notepad, save the file with filename "he died the way he lived-wasting my time.txt"

@@moredetonation3755 or you can use print screen button found on your keyboard.

@@moredetonation3755 or you could use the snipping tool and take a screenshot if ur on pc or just press whatever buttons on your phone do that

@@moredetonation3755 We'll remind you every once in a while

And, perhaps more importantly, freeing Rey from his advances.

These poor characters. I love them, but they just can't catch a break

It's really such a choice that basically the only development of Rose, the only Asian character in the movie, is to have her voice a love of numbers

i forgot this was a part of the script and upon reading this comment laughed so hard i could barely breathe for like a full minute remembering both the line and jennys absolute incredulity upon reading it. its like asking someone to show you a map to a location you need to find because you Like Shapes. who says this

@@butterknifepatten4455 It's there to be the awkward opposite of Han's "never tell me the odds".

I feel like that was the working title but she needs to appease the algorithm.

"NEW YAWKERS STICK TOGETHER!"

Spiderman! Spiderman!

“i don’t want to have to give dialogue tags” changes hats between every line lol

I hope this video ends with BB-8 beeping out "I'll never understand organics".

Obsidian Valentine 😭😭😭😂😂😂 bruh

well that's the role kylo filled

@@Paraves426 did you just-

Kylo = Kyouya. Headcanon ACCEPTED

*chef's kiss~* 😗👌

Still more dialogue than what she got in Rise of Skywalker

Tbf, in the full script she's got some pretty fucking great lines

I think her asking C3PO for the odds was supposed to be a clever(?) homage to Han telling him "never tell me the odds!". "I like numbers" was just awful dialog to avoid making it too obvious. Which is silly considering all the other blatant call-backs and fan-service

Of course it's the one Asian character who likes numbers...

Bard W. At least she’s not a doctor too

Gonna put it down to a lack of time and a surplus of ineptitude. Ye gods I wish they'd listened to Johnson and put the release back a year, even if they didn't have him write and direct it.

Because they were written as a follow-up to TLJ by people who didn't want to examine any of the questions asked by the movie.

Because this entire trilogy was a bad retelling of the Original Saga, led by a committee of business people who understood that Star Wars was popular but didn't understand why beyond like the most surface elements. Add in the fact that they were willing to deviate just enough from tradition to piss off the bitter old men who have been worshiping this series since the 80s, but not enough to actually forge any kind of unique identity and give new fans a reason to stick around, and you wind up with a series of films that basically only exists to not appeal to anyone.

@@hurricane15664 that doesn't feel entirely fair, as a new fan I felt like VIII was very much pulling up a chair for new fans. However, VII made for a foundation built largely on nostalgia, and IX was intent on remaking RotJ at all costs.

@Timothy McLean Not even TLJ wanted to examine the questions asked by TLJ.

He certainly had a mildly horny energy in the force awakens but that was towards Finn and made sense

@@hellformichelle EXACTLY. Stormpilot should be canon.

It's the only way that Trevorrow knows how to write a leading man. Plus "condescending."

@@hellformichelle I keep meaning to do some digging on this subject but was this (Poe possibly being into Finn in TFA) widely discussed before Oscar Isaacs mentioned it in the run-up to RoS? I remember asking a few people, back when TFA first came out, whether they got that impression or whether they thought he was just being directed to act as such a charismatic 'Ace Rimmer' type that he would come across as at least vaguely flirtatious with anyone he spoke to whether the intention was there or not. Responses were noncommittal at best, though, so I figured I was just imagining things.

@Han Organa Awesome, thanks for the information - as I say, I always wondered. I have to say I'm seriously impressed by Oscar Isaac's acting, that being the case, because I'm typically pretty oblivious to romantic chemistry in media unless it's heavily telegraphed in the film language or outright stated in the text itself. To get me to register it purely through nuance of performance in a couple of short scenes that had so much else going on takes some talent. From John Boyega too, obviously, but I feel like it's a much more common talking point that he gave a stellar performance in TFA than Isaacs (largely due to the difference in screen time, I guess).

It’s a pot that immediately slams into his face. And he dies

That would actually be cool. Honestly that whole scene already IS super cool. I just have a thing for characters realising they've lost and ending it on their own terms. It shows strength.

@@Nalimias i think it shows unwillingness to face the fallout and consequences, especially when they;re the "bad guy"

​@@fr4nkensk4nkcould look at it that way too, but there definitely is some stoic badassery to it, true coward always protects their life at all costs

@@Nalimias maybe it's because i've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since i was 12 but i just dont see it that way

Stormpilot or not, Poe as Rey's gay wingman is infinitely more believable than this romance arc.

@@blokey8 Poe as Rey's gay wingman, but he's dating Finn and Rey is trying to woo Kylo

@@Liz-lq8hw Honestly, if we were to have Rey still being interested in Kylo, it should be after he's shown there's still good in him. The reveal that she had been pining while he was Supreme Leader really stuck in the craw for me.

@@Liz-lq8hw I'll do ya one better: they're both dating Finn, but not each other. ReyFinnPoe 4thewin. Kylo... he can stay if he actually redeens himself, which he kinda started to do in VII but certainly didn't finish doing in IX. Honestly I think it'd be hilarious if he redeems himself so hard he adopts prequel-era jedi doctrine, so he's voluntarily celibate like. Well good thing you found a less destructive path I guess

@@Liz-lq8hw hell yeah!

I was always a shipper of Fin and Rey! Maybe with Poe and Rose both having an unrequited crush on Fin. Rey and Kylo is cringy and Rey and Poe is just "What!?".

Finn's arc should have been him going from Trooper to Rebel, but in TFA that happens in 5 minutes and he kills his former comrades without a second thought. Phasma should have been Finn's mentor, adding tension to their conflicting paths.

i'd argue finn's character was ruined the second j.j. had him shoot his fellow soldiers without a second thought. that moment basically solidified that the whole defecting stormtrooper thing was a superficial attempt to distinguish him from the other new characters. having finn lead a stormtrooper rebellion after all that would be kinda uncomfortable.

These screenwriters not knowing what to do with characters who are not in a romantic relationship is a big woof.

Finn deserves better than Rey.

This is creepy bisexual erasure and I won't stand for it.

I don't why my brain immediately thought of the song "Sweet Transvestite" from Rocky Horror Picture Show but as "Creepy Heterosexual" instead, but here we are

And so predictable...

Dude really just did a cursory glance over the cast and decided that Oscar Isaac resembled Chris Pratt the most and did what he does best/worst 💀

@@PerpetuallyDaydreaming they’re all in blue short sleeve button ups and khakis, and it’s a room full of people who’re worried about dancing “too gay” It’s artwork

pulling a war minister Anami

I'M FUCKING DEAD SITHPUKKU I'M SOBBING, LIKE ACTUALLY SOBBING, WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT SO GOOD LMAO

Rest In Pieces Kylo-kun…….

REN: I forgot to ask for butter.

REN: DON'T YOU KNOW I USUALLY BURN MY TONGUE WHEN I EAT IT IMMEDIATELY!

this was just really cute to read so thank you for sharing your robert’s yt opinions

But they all just stack up on one another like with the Vader hat on top of the bucket hat, and at the end of the year it's some Seussian stack of hats.

- the only Asian character in SW

"Never tell me the odds"

The only way to save this line would be to play it like it's the character being inarticulate, not the writer being a dumbass. Like something Joss Whedon would write.

I need to make an informed decision, Threepio. Always tell me the odds!

@@DStecks "i do like me some numbers" she says nervously

and hey, if we are lucky that might actually result in a good screenplay at some point lül^^

datz fatz my money is on Wes Anderson being able to pull it off well.

I'd write one better than JJ Abrams

Tareltonlives wouldn’t be much of a miracle. i’m not doubting your skill, but that’s not much of a challenge to pull off.

@@mayhemivory5730 LOL That is absolutely true. It's easy to top JJ Abrams' writing

He’s basically just Michael Bay with a little more self restraint.

You get that experience with everything he writes, it feels like. I had this EXACT same epiphany when I watched "The Book of Henry" 🤣 The man writes characters he thinks are likeable, but since they're based on his own sense of what that word means, they're kind of terrible.

@@BallinBubblegum It's honestly hard to say he has more self restraint. I make a rule of not assuming things about artists' personalities based on their work (that's how you get people who don't believe Shakespeare was Shakespeare because he never taught his wife to read when the simpler answer is that, you know, he was busy, she wasn't super-interested and he just didn't believe in the transcendent glory of the written word as much as some people assume based on his works enough to push it) but, when you can see the director's notes, even I have a little trouble sticking to that given how much he seems to wear his worldview on his sleeve. At the very least, you can say that he's consistent in the kinds of decisions he makes in his writing and that _might_ speak to his character. Michael Bay, on the other hand, ultimately just makes products to sell to target demographics (generally very successfully, for better or worse). For all that his movies idolise the US military and US patriotism, he did (allegedly - it's possible the actor misremembered or made it up) refuse to use an ad-libbed joke in one of the Transformers movies with his cited reason being that, "it wouldn't play in China."

​@@Pineappolis"the transcendent glory of the written word" doesn't seem like it was Shakespeare's own perspective of his work but just how people perceived it in hindsight. I think people pay more attention to the cultural gravitas of Shakespeare's work rather than the work itself when they try to extrapolate Shakespeare's character. I think solely looking at his work would give people a more accurate idea.

@@arowace498 Excellent point. I was going for my own rhetorical device where I wrote in the 'voice' of the kinds of people I'm talking about but, crucially, I forgot the sardonic quotation marks.

Okay but why would that lowkey save it in a way. Then like Kylo still gets redemption and we get to see him fight along side Rey and maybe if they love the force healing so much use it there. Like rey is down in battle and kylo puts in the finishing blow to his rival and maybe bring like luke and leia back to be like look son/nephew we are not disappointed in you anymore and believe you can be redeemed after all. There could even be some snarky back and forth, allowing redeemed kylo to actually have dialogue and then heals rey and dies again. Still weird screen play but like it's something interesting and a choice. Still think episode 9 was just kinda fated to fail since there was a lot riding on it.

@@zane8605 ight dat kinda didnt rly have much to do with hux...tbh idc I just love general hux,my fav character lol.

I don’t get it, but I appreciate this comment. It’s fun to say.

@@beanieguitarguy4070 it's a reference to the opening song in Nightmare before Christmas! "this is halloween". it's a banger.

I'm definitely the shapeless noid with "his tiny hands".

That last one is Kylo in this screenplay

I am Katrina

She really nailed that like... miserable and obsessive psychopath expression, as well as the inflection, of Kylo Ren.

She's watched Episodes 7 + 8 a loooooooooootttt of times. Like, a LOT of times. She's pretty much memorized large sections of the films, especially Kylo Ren 'cause she likes his character a lot. :D

I can hear his almost-accent so well.

tor vallum is quite literally the only good thing about this script i want him inserted into star wars canon right now

I think it's enhanced by Jenny's Hermaeus Mora impression tbh lmao

They'd have to shrink Finn's face even smaller if he was a love interest in China

@@mrman6035 Can we just ban China?

@@mrman6035 The poster is Rey and Finn kissing (spoiler alert) except he's so small he's holding onto her lower lip. Also, fun fact, the biggest movie ever released in China came out the same year that TFA shrank Boyega's face, it was Fast and Furious 7, it had a mostly-black cast, and everyone's face was equally sized on the posters. That was Disney making an executive decision to hide Finn, not China.

Diversity?

It’s strange to because I felt like Finn and Rey were set up to possibly be couple in TFA. I guess the filmmakers thought it better to be in an abusive relationship than with a Black man.

Honestly, as someone who really loves Star Wars, experiencing it through Jenny’s commentary is one of the better options.

I did once try to tell an actual SW fan/ friend Rey’s last name is Solana so I understand

Absolutely this. Between this and the Alan Dean Foster treatment, I have a very hard time remembering what happened in the actual movie 😅

"When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground."

@@danielmclaughlin5546 "When you sing the song of Ice and Fire or play the Game of Thrones: The officially licensed browser game, you win or you die. Many geods available."

Senna Asad sponsored by Raid: Shadow Legends

Mfw my boy looses the star war

Maybe it was supposed to be self-referential?

May 20, 2035.

What was the third?

@@RexOrbis the actual episode 9 I guess?

@@carysbebard3690 list them?

Rex Orbis the released version, the version in this video, and presumably the pitched version from Jenny’s video two videos prior to this one.

Brain Genius Academy precisely!

Pretty much

When will a main character get stabbed with a space weapon that gives them 48 hours of lactose intolerance “That’s how I got my autism, a space wizard came into my childhood home on Halloween, and in his attempts to defeat my ultimate form (an unarmed human baby) he accidentally granted me power immaterial. So far it has not gone away. The government won’t tell you” u can’t say that

Blind Jedi are cool, too! I mean, they could make pretty much _any_ physical disability really cool with the force, but something about a blindfolded Jedi getting around like a force-sensitive Toph is just really cool.

Or have the only character who gets their limb cut/ripped off be the person who can regrow limbs.

Weirdly, a significant portion of sith training is a comprehensive guide to contraceptives.

@@nerdherder9340 wow the Jedi really were the bad guys

And she's like "how come the boys are in the other gym learning light sabres?"

@@emilytrace3670 Luke replies very irritably “well my dad DIDN’T see the tape before the lightsaber training and we both know how that went.”

Best line of the screenplay to be honest

kylo autistic confirmed

@@changelingsys yes

I feel like this is a real Adam Driver quote.

A worthy successor to Anakin's sand speech

Is Hux just a George Lucas-insert?

😂😂😂

Hux: REEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

_the force theme swells_ “I lost the Star Wars.” Having been randomly transported to Tatooine, Hux and BB-9E stare off at the binary sunrise. DAN DANAN DANAN DANANANA

It turns out we _all_ lost the Star Wars. :(

Kubler-Ross would be proud.

Oh my god

"Behold, a Galllifreyan Time Lord! And this they call a Hobbit, nay... THE HOBBIT! Over here is the jewel, the creme of the creme... oh yes, good brothers and sisters, its... the only Episode IX script that is actually filmmable!"

This here is a creature called a Golden Retriever! It has - count them - FOUR limbs! It can smell treats from a mile away!

The real freak show were these half-baked Episode IX scripts.

@@BenjaminWhitley The real real freak show are the friends we made along the way

Also side note. I agree, Jenny. Rey needed a full 80s style makeover montage!

For all the RU-vid channels I watch, this one has the most octopus impressions.

Read this while she was doing it, showstopping

Nope.

@@Chipiliro613 As opposed to Vlogbrothers, the channel with the most Squid impressions.

Poe/Rey, Kylo/Rey, it seems that in all timelines episode 9 makes terrible relationship choices

Fanfictions are usually better though...

Fanfictions are usually better though...

Same. So out of left field. No way could it have worked in canon.

@@cinemaocd1752 Amen. I mean, fanfic writers actually key into the characters and this script didn't do that at all. I think with some implied history, a romance between Rey and the matured Poe who emerges from TLJ could work. Unfortunately Treverrow turns him into an obnoxious dudebro cutout here.

It does! I could *SO* see that! Especially if the blaster gives a little twitch just before he's cut down . . .

As opposed to Rey just going "you're a murderous dictator and that's a dealbreaker for me." Like, that's a viable stance.

Alec Ferris 😐 .... I honestly don’t wanna have this debate, but once again I think there’s a reason why Colin felt so threatened by Reylo...

@@etherealsky7078 I suspect you may be onto something, if you look at his Jurassic World work he appears to have a weird... thing about alpha male types. My point was just that Rey already has ample reason to reject Kylo, based solely on him choosing to be the tyrant. And it's weird that Trevorrow didn't simply go with that.

Alec Ferris Once again, I know a lot of people desperately want Rey to not be with Kylo... But whether you like it or not, when there’s a whole movie building up to their relationship (TLJ) and another riddled with hints about it (TFA), it feels very cheap to discard it last minute in the third movie.

Alec Ferris Oh Colin definitely has a type for macho, dudebro males... He writes romances like they’re from a bad 80s action movie...

I like to think that single pig was the real Tor Vallum

I find it fucking stupid that Snoke was just some guy I know I’m gonna get ridiculed for saying this but there’s really nothing clever about that bait and switch (if it WAS meant to be a bait and switch) presenting him as the main villain and offing him rather suddenly and with no other function So I guess he just happened to be some guy that this Tor Vallum trained and this Tor Vallum is the head honcho that Snoke, Palps and Plaguis answer to(?) I won’t blow up the comment section but we know an emperor and an empire are not givens in this universe and the fact that there’s an usurper to Palpy’s throne means this newcomer has to be SOMEONE Yes, it may as well have been Plaguis as there was a built in set up

hey I just watched the sonic video, wack

We come from Exegol

Oh hey saber, love your videos

Oh neat I didn’t know saberspark watched Jenny

Ksar 4321 silence egirl

Rey Star Wars! From the film- Star Wars!

Star Wars: Episode IX: Rise of Star Wars

Scott Brown Star Wars: Episode Star Wars: The Star Wars

Anyone know where I can get that shirt?

@@ThreadBomb Good find thank you

Maybe my favorite Jenny line ever. It’s like she’s in a Bond movie.

Time code for the first line P L E A S E

also "they liked that ending. must be nice"

@@thehonorablereverendaddiso1943 49:08 :]

@@mori2037 Thank you!

Padmé can confirm

@@michellehanson984 😂😂😂😂😂omg. A+

@@michellehanson984 Padmé as a historical case study for abstinence classes 💀

Denis Villeneuve could have done it

@@r_bear He already did, it was really slow, didn't have a clear ending, the whole thing was set on Tatooine, Poe was the leader of the Resistance, Kylo was redeemed off screen and trained in the Jedi arts by Leia. Rey isn't in it until the end, everyone is addicted to spice, Snoke came back to life as a fat dude, and for some reason the sarlaccs can move now

@@hatemteirelbar9510 THEY MOVE NOW?

@@arvinbuenaagua5161 THEY MOVE NOW

@@hatemteirelbar9510 He just assumed he was doing a whole trilogy and no one told him they already made 2 previous movies.

I’ve seen the movie twice and I couldn’t tell you either tbh

I've never watched a starwars movie so this is how I experience the franchise

@@jredactedlredacted8148 Sometimes I wish I could forget everything and then watch a summary and it'd be like the opening narration of Clone Wars like "THE JEDI KNIGHTS AND THEIR CLONE FORCES ARE LOCKED IN SPACE COMBAT OVER THE PLANET OF FELUCIA!!!! GENERAL OBI WAN KENOBI LEADS THE FORCES ONTO THE PLANET SURFACE TO ACQUIRE THE ELECTROPROTON TRANSMITTER ION CANNON!!! TO DEAFEAT THE SEPARATIST ALLIENCE THREATENING THE GALACTIC REPUBLIC!!!!"

Same.

@@jredactedlredacted8148 same bro . i havent watched a single star wars movie and have seen every single jenny video about it

I actually read that in his voice and I'm dying.

I kept picturing Torvallum as Celestabellabethabelle from Gravity Falls.

@@h.c.49 or Hooty from Owl House

I known her brother riga!

it's not that she's walking, it's that she appears like she's been traveling on foot and is referred to as having been walking for a long time. Two things that generally don't happen by spaceship.

Vi nu Mm Ml 1:30:42

I imagined it like in smiling friends, where she crashed into the planet from hell like a meteor after being hurled by god- I mean yoda

The "No one is no one" line made me cackle. It's so fuckin lame.

That Rey needed Poe to say that to her after 20+ years of her own survival and like, massive political entanglements, is just so insulting “Listen. You’re somebody to ME” “... k”

Why did you find those scenes so distasteful?

I remember when I first found the channel and binged all her videos..... I took that for granted

@@thomasray same

@@thomasray And then we had Millennial Falcon, and thought it would last forever.

Thomas Ray mood

Like Bozo the Clown using black magic and deals with demons to pull coins from the back of kids ears, and then being so heartbroken when one of his student uses said black magic to do decidedly not fun things like murdering people and resurrecting dictators

1:16:38

i had no idea what this was in reference to so i googled it and holy shit, Raul Julia really did some great work. the line was delivered so well omg

'THE DEAD SPEAK ... in a Senate meeting.' Mission accomplished.

She said hard not impossible.

The dead speak!!!!!

@Fillip Jahksen I loved that it didn't have one, and the camera panning across the planet's rings in the opening shot was a cool homage to both the opening crawl and the ISD from ep. 4 imo

I thought it was fine, it feels just like the rest.