Wellness Influencers Are Cringe | Sad Boyz 

I straight up will not date a man who doesn't have female friends. Treating women as humans first and potential partners second is a must, and I've never had a good experience with dating a guy who didn't have close female friends and/or sisters. My current boyfriend and my ex both have many close female friends and I've never felt threatened once. Even if they were attracted to some of those women, I don't care because I'm average looking enough to know that what I bring to the table is chemistry, intelligence, and fun that those women can't compete with. If they were an option for dating, then they would already be dating anyway, so why worry?

@@katc2040 It definitely is possible lmao, it’s in fact very very normal to be able to be friends with women 💀

@@ritac9769 what if i only have 3 friends and one of them is my girlfriend. im not incapable of having friends who are women im just not capable of having friends fr

@@Chuckylarms777 I think it’s more the attitude and willingness to see women platonically than the actual number of female friends. I have some male friends but we aren’t very close - I would really like to have a guy best friend who isn’t my boyfriend, but not having one rn doesn’t necessarily speak poorly on me

​@@ritac9769 I started my 20s with this viewpoint. I'm now 38 and have been cheated on over and over and over, and spent more than a decade feeling ugly by comparison to these "just friends". I don't fit the dominant skinny beauty paradigm however, and that, is the real enemy.

This is so funny to me

I’m pissin myself at this omfg

this made me laugh also tell ur cat i said hello

Literally. I got bullied for “liking” a friend of mine, who was the opposite gender, in elementary school and for YEARS I was terrified of coming off like I liked someone cause I didn’t want to be teased about it. When talking to my parents about friends at school, I would pretend to not know the names of my guy friends so it seemed like I wasn’t really close with them and thus, would not have a crush on them. Like, I was paranoid about this stuff.

Literally! Back in school we once had to write a fake letter to a friend or family member that would never be sent, and in mine I mentioned my crush quite a bit (though in very friendly means, such as I hung out with [name] this weekend etc etc, as they were my best friend at the time and I was closeted, but well... I was a teen, it wasn't subtle, and the person I was writing the fake letter to was a close friend so I was a bit more casual with it). Turns out after the teacher graded it, she literally handed my crush my letter to read because the teacher shipped us and thought we were cute together, and she wanted her to know my feelings so we'd either get together or I'd be let down gently. Lady, what?!?!?

@@remmytherat Oh, god, that’s awfulllllll. Why would someone do that??? My friends would ship me and other people together and that always just made my blood boil. I don’t get mad easily but THAT really tipped me over the edge. It’s like, stop!!! We are real people!!! Do not!!! Cause, like, that stuff can ruin friendships if you aren’t careful! It definitely did with that first friend!

Yo, similar story here - I was deeply closeted trans and very uncomfortable with anything to do with sex or relationships at the time, and my friends (none of whom I've talked to in the last fifteen years) pressured me into asking a certain guy to a dance. He was decent about it, but his friends absolutely humiliated me over it for about a year. I also had a best friend that people "shipped" me with. There's a whole genre of fanfic called real people fiction and it skeeves me the fuck out

@calebmcintosh1991 oh no don't even mention fanfiction. I'm OK with shipping characters, but actors? Ew

W-what spider tattoo 😢 I feel like I’m going to regret asking this as my arachnophobia is quite intense and it’s probably better not to know but now I have to

@@shirin9452 Oh me too! Yeah, he has one on his left(? I think?) tricepy area. I have really bad arachnophobia as well and OCD, and when I have flare-up of really intense OCD I actually can't even look at images or drawings of spiders cause they'll trigger a compulsion to check everything in my house for spiders multiple times 😅 So there was like a whole year where if I started watching one of Jordan's videos and if he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt I'd have to just click away to avoid that lmao. But my OCD has gotten much better and now it's not sort of "mingling" with the phobia--I can see the tattoo or other images of spiders and still go to bed the following night with only mild discomfort haha

@@emmamix I have the same reaction to snakes! I moved to Australia as a kid and found that it was a surprisingly common household pet, and I would get so upset when people hadn't told me before I came over. :c However, the online trend of people having pet snakes and talking about how cute they were was the perfect exposure therapy to me because I can now look at them and I don't have to check my bedsheets anymore for snakes. I'm glad his tattoo isnt too bad for you anymore!

@@FaeFoe Oh wow--thank you, and I'm glad you're doing better with snakes as well! I actually really love snakes haha, my childhood hero was Jeff Corwin and he was a herpetologist, so I just grew up very unafraid of snakes. It's kind of crazy how much the responses of people around us can influence how we also feel about things like snakes and spiders. ...On another note though, Australia is the one place on earth I can never visit lol! I'd love to see the snakes, but the spiders I could never handle haha

I am so happy for you, as a fellow person with ocd that’s wonderful :) best of wishes my friend, sending you all the good vibes

that's MY affirmation lmao

THIS

Not even just a prerequisite to comfort but fully a luxury by some people, the disconnection 😭

Bruh it's not a red flag to not want you to hang out with people you're attracted to

​@@katc2040 soo. Bi/pan people will have no friend? Cool... u live a sad life

@@katc2040 bruh quit outing yourself as a terrible partner, it’s embarrassing 💀

@@katc2040 So bisexual/pansexual people can’t have friends

@Kat C I have friends who are gorgeous, but im not attracted to them. you do know you're not gonna be attracted to everyone of the gender you're attracted to, right? as a bi person I'm not into everybody. That's not how attraction works lmao

i mean not to get explicit but as a trans girl, sausage-havers are capable of manual aim, and cleaning up after themselves cis men simply choose not to because touch weeny become homo

As a girl I'm still confused 😭 We need to redesign toilets to be better for all LOL

I don't tend to ask people how they piss, but i had a question about the penis experience and you seem to be well versed in dickin around: Can't yall sit down and pee? Or does the bowl get in the way? If it does then what happens if you're shitting and suddenly feel the need to piss as well?

@@techne360 Honestly, the answer is just to sit down. It's not that much trouble tbh.

it just be like that sometimes, no matter where you aim, where you stand, etc

I do it too ❤

That’s a pretty common human thing in general actually. I’m not autistic but I also pick up peoples accents and lingo within a few hours of being around them, sometimes less. I do it so instantly I have to actively stop myself in order to not seem fake lol

TOO REAL i feel this 😩

I have a friend who is autistic and does the same thing without realizing it.

@@TenderNoodle it's definitely more common in autistic people!!

“you can be insane but be polite” HAHAHAHA YEAH

Yes, definitely well said. 😊

“I understand both that the person I love has issues and that it won’t be a good use of our time or energy for me to try and fix those problems” Recognizing the correct time for inaction in one of the most advanced techniques in relationships

She didn't like _your_ hair, she liked hair like yours and it just happened to be on your head

this makes a lot of sense, ty for putting this into words!

"so exotic" It's not.

Thank you for putting beautifully into clear and simple words what I've always struggled to explain to people. I always get compliments about the natural color of my hair (I'm a redhead), and it drives me insane because that's the one trait of my hair that I cannot control. A compliment about the length, style, straightness, the barrettes or ties I use, ANYTHING else would mean so much more. As is, a compliment about my hair color feels creepy, reminds me of the fetishists I've met who are obsessed with red hair. Yours is a good way to explain it to others, so thank you for sharing.

@@hmmm............... if you press the ... menu you can click "don't recommend this channel" and then it won't get recommended to you anymore :)

This is heartbreakingly true. I was groomed and serial abused in my home and now I'm caed-romantic bc due to my trauma I may genuinely never realistically be able to trust anyone again to any healthy extent.

I really like your choice of words for everything you said

I have a masters in nutrition science and I think it could also be the fact that she's very hyperfocused on being healthy which for some people means zero diseases or problems. She brought up the fact that she has something "chronic" and most chronic diseases can only be managed to have zero side effects since it's well.. chronic. It can be very stressful if healthcare gives you a "this cant be fixed but we can manage it" so she might be trying to fix it on her own by talking to that quack doctor, which could be messing up her diet completely and possibly making her symptoms worse. I'm of course only speculating.

obsessed with the way you say things king, glad ur doing better

​@@josefinarivia I was thinking new age 'health' mixed with an ED and the means to 'eat' intravenously and mask how terrible what she is doing is for her

I think she has an ED honestly

Sad Boys: a podcast about shitting and other things also🙃 srsly though, the best podcast, I normally prefer more topical, very structured podcasts that focus on just one subject but this I can listen to for hours and it doesn't matter what the topic of the conversation is.

I'm a shy pooper like sly Cooper, right in front of your eyes, stupor

all the podcasts i've been listening to lately just love their poop talk lmao

😂😂😂😂

did she follow u ever time u peed? 😭😭

@@lamibonxd lmao, i was the pad dealer in my class so sometimes people actually followed me to bathroom to ask for a pad 😭 i used to use this one particular brand (comfy cotton pads that had nice, not bulky shape) and i always carried extras, public service i guess

love the phrase "regarding pissing" as an opener

@@migoreng7789 the way you are carrying society

not everyone’s boundaries are the same, though. Doesn’t mean it’s not healthy.

@@miliam3673 everyone’s boundaries can be different and that’s fine. Having a problem with the guy youre dating simply because he was in a picture that a friend of his posted along with like ten other people of all genders isn’t healthy though. There is no way that can be healthy. “You are obviously cheating/dating other people because a female friend of yours had you in one of her photos along with a whole group of people” is not a healthy mindset. Not to mention again that they weren’t even a couple. Again I said if you’re insecure about it then that’s fine, but to act as though he did something wrong is crazy. If she had the same concern she could of instead phrased it as “hey btw I’m dating only you and I’m not talking to anyone else right now. I’m not sure where you are at? but I wanted to make that clear”. It opens a conversation for him to confirm or deny your suspicions anyways without being accusatory. If he says “nope I’m only seeing you” then you could still respond with “ah good. I admit your friend posted that post and while I knew it was probably nothing I just got a little bit worried”. That type of speech is an open form of communication where no one is being passive aggressive and yet everyone is still getting their feelings and thoughts across and heard. Men can have female friends it’s not a healthy boundary to say they can’t imo. It means you think he’s gonna cheat on you with a friend of his and that’s not trust. You Cant have a healthy relationship without trust.

@@miliam3673 "you're not allowed to have friends that love and support you" is always unhealthy.

@@miliam3673 found the abuser

@@urheehoo you don’t know everybody’s story. I didn’t let my ex have female “friends” cuz he kept cheating on me with them. Am I an abuser for noticing a pattern?

oh it's politician-speak haha no wonder i get so irrationally angered by these clips

there is no scandal in ba sing se

Same. I know so much about people I've never actually followed or heard of before lol.

Imani Barber (crutchesandspice is her handle across social media) made some REALLY great points about how much wellness influencers are terrified of disability and how much of their actions are led by internalized ableism (esp re: Gwyneth Paltrow revealing that her hyperlimited diet is intended to treat her long covid) and it really made me super uncomfortable

What’s the time stamp for this part of the convo? That’s what I came for based on the thumbnail lol.

“Flushable” wipes are absolutely not flushable. Those companies are only legally allowed to call them flushable because, technically, anything is flushable if you make it small enough.

speedrunning Society

THIS. Flushable wipes are the devil for plumbing and often just make your butt unseasonably wet (yuck). I’m still baffled that America doesn’t have bidets on all their toilets! It’s as common as toilet paper where I’m from and apparently very rare here.

Amen

I get what youre saying but most people arent trying to make others feel bad. We make ourselves feel bad

@@chiariscuro well when you make yourself feel bad, you make other people feel bad too. We're all connected to one another. Because if you think your own cellulite and body hair and acne scars and body fat are gross, it stands to reason that you think those things are gross in general, not just on you. So when you're mean to yourself you're also mean to others. When you judge yourself, you judge others whether you mean to or not.

@@zenleeparadise damn… so true. Denial is difficult but like… you can’t claim to not be bothered by something on someone else when you yourself would be extremely bothered by that something if it happened to you. Like people just expose themselves when they say shit like that.

@@Pappyeggs well-put

I’m like that with my boss it’s awesome

There’s so many ppl who do this me included ur not alone

I've heard that women tend to do this a lot more, and that a lot of us see it as a good thing bc it shows that the other person is really listening to what you're saying. I think I started doing it bc I'm terrified of people thinking that I'm not into the conversation, but I've been trying to stop since I know it can be annoying for a lot of people

The thing is though, I didnt agree with them at all on this and I, personally dont mind at all when people I know do that. so i dont think you need to feel bad unless someone has specifically asked you to refrain from doing this. it's really new to me though to hear that others might find this annoying so i might be wrong :p

So this is called co-talking. It’s a way that speakers can demonstrate that they are really “on the same page,” or “getting you.” Also, it is almost exclusively used by women, btw. I had a guy friend that told me he thought I was rude for “talking over him.” It was a really baffling conversation because to me it felt like the conversation was super good. The next day I learned about co-talking in a literature class, and the light bulb went on. Since then I’ve tried to not do it with men, that seems to work pretty well.

Aw. That's awful. They shouldn't have shamed you like that. Such a weird thing for them to do.

I’m with u with being a shy pooper. If you don’t already, you should carry a bottle of poo-pourri with you. It’s made me a more confident public pooper!

Why was your counselor getting mad justified? It sounds like you just used the bathroom in a designated bathroom location? Regardless congrats on your progress 😄

Granola lady wellness is... incredibly ableist, too. I don't mean ableist as in sanist, I just mean straight up "if you do something that makes your body hurt, it'll help you build a tolerance to it

@@isthiscereallife yeah, I think you're right, but I also hear this from mainstream society a lot as well, so I never necessarily thought of it as distinctly belonging to the granola ladies. Another thing worth saying is how closely linked a lot of the "wellness" industry is to anorexia in general. For a long time in college I didn't understand why I was gaining weight eating the same food as other people who were losing weight until we had ED awareness week on campus that talked about the prevalence on campus. It puts a shiny new veneer on a sad old problem.

Yes this is so true! People who’ve never struggled with mental health issues exist in another universe entirely.

It’s all mental health matters from them unless you have an illness that isn’t depression or anxiety

I'm also white and quite seriously mentally ill and I absolutely second the sentiment about a lot of "wellness" type shit, bc it's usually done by people who seem to have had minimal struggle growing up and into their 20s even, just feeling insincere. in all honesty, that's partially why I hold the semi-controversial view that I think that, especially for the more severe, stigmatized, and treatment-resistent forms of mental illness, most mental health professionals actually SHOULD be people who have these issues and have successfully managed them. marsha linehan and kay redfield jamison are two big name psychs who have the illnesses they specialize in (and that I share) and hearing them speak about it is so so so soothing bc yes! yes, you get it! you've felt it! you know where I'm starting from so you can better see the hurdles and help work around them! yes!! it's really just hard to convey to somebody something like a mixed mood state or a psychotic episode or compulsions or even suicidal thoughts in a meaningful and visceral way. without managing to convey that, figuring out effective ways to deal with it and predicting obstacles to recovery or healing is that much harder, imo. I'm also an extremely open book with my psych problems and largely for the reason that I think (if it's feasible for somebody, ofc) it's just a very good thing to do in terms of making people feel less... lonely? ostracized? a lot of the issues I've seen and had with very ugly parts of mental illness such as suicidality is closely linked to the taboo nature of it all; if I can say "yeah, I have latent non-crisis feelings of suicidality that I just have to manage and come to terms with", maybe for the person who hears it, the admission of suicidal thoughts will feel less heavy or "burdensome" or maybe the notion that you have to be in crisis to "count" will waver. sorry for also being a wall of text 😅I really do just have such an investment in this topic! hearing jarvis and jordan talk about it is always so damn refreshing and part of why I like this podcast so much

Wipes as it wet wipes? I feel so out of the loop with this comment.

@@TheDanishGuyReviews yes lol they call them flushable wipes. No one refers to toilet paper as wipes 😂

It's so grim right? Especially because period poos are bigger

I love it, I feel cleansed after visiting the toilet

​@@CureSmileful I like your attitude lol

It’s the worse😫

I always feel like I have to take a shower afterwards 😂

Samsies

kind of the opposite for me?? Parents had big accents and I just... never noticed for 10 years, then had to be like "Oh yeah, not only do they have strong non-regional accents, it influenced my own accent a bit"

same, i come back using little stop phrases when i come home from visiting family in other countries.

for me it's growing up speaking mandarin the way I thought was "normal" and turns out I have good pronunciation but an obvious accent that I can't really get rid of unless I try to speak radically different. But me speaking, say, Taiwanese Mandarin instead of whatever I grew up speaking, or even lightly imitating someone else's southern accent in favor of my California mannerisms (when I first moved to Utah I wasn't aware of how many people seemed to have a southern or southern-adjacent accent) is more of a CONSCIOUS code-switching thing. It's interesting nonetheless. I'm gonna go see if someone smarter than me has written a paper on this or something.

same, they are a mental safe space

Swap the ADHD with Autism and Fibromyalgia and that's me😩I relate so much and agree (Chronic Fatigue + insomnia is HELL, so exhausted but can't sleep rip)

im in the same boat 💙 stay strong spoonies

i didn't really agree with them at all on that point, ive both friends and family who finish my sentences and it has never annoyed me. ive never heard of this being a source of annoyance but i could be wrong, but i dont think you should be too hard on yourself!

My buddy does this and to be frank, it did annoy me initially but once I understood that it was just something he did it was chill. Tbf though, I originally thought he was just fucking with me

Honestly it bothers me because, from my perspective, they're just interrupting me. It's one thing if I'm struggling to figure out how to phrase something or I'm trying to remember a term, and I don't mind if I'm referring to something and someone is like "oh, yes!" to indicate they know what I'm talking about. But if someone starts talking while I'm talking just so they can what they _think_ I'm going to say, that bugs me (especially since they're usually wrong about what I was saying anyway). I will admit that I am somewhat sensitive to being talked over and interrupted, so it probably bugs me more than others. I tend to be pretty quiet and have a lot of social anxiety, so if I'm making the effort to actually engage in a conversation and someone talks over me, it doesn't feel great. It also tends to derail my thoughts so I sometimes just completely forget what I was even saying.

It'd be my luck that this would be the episode where they start right wing grifting lol

Fr💀

i’ve been trained well it’s instinct now

y'all rock

@@SadBoyzPod this was to me directly btw

YESS MAINTENANCE PHASE. When she mentioned paleo I immediately flashed back to their investigation into it. Unpleasant but not surprising that it’s a eugenics thing.

It can also be Echolalia. My best friend does it particularly when I'm saying something funny. She'll join in on my last word or two. Most of the time she's not aware she's doing it. I think it's cute

I do it too, and I hate myself as soon as I've done it. I think it is what Jordan says, about wanting to prove the conversation is going well, that I'm attempting to accelerate it to prove we're on the same page... Definitely from a position of self-consciousness.

I do it and im brazilian. Most of my family and friends do it too

This is a Jewish thing? That's crazy and explains a lot in my family

there's also a lot of toxic positivity and this often unspoken rhetoric that if you're struggling (financially, healthwise, literally any way any being affected by it) it's because you aren't working hard enough on your wellness. Because it can fix you if you work hard, so if youre not fixed its because you're not working hard. Its a very mlm style mentality. Like I said my experience was very extreme, but still at its best its this toxic positivity, stuff your emotions down and be in denial rise and grind mindset. (at worst it was stuff like an 80 year old spiritual leader telling a 17 year old me that if i passed from a severe condition that it was from lack of wellness prayers) it really is wild out there

This is me. Am I your mother?

what slurs aren't super bad or racist I'm confused 😭

@@sweetie9672 "b*tch" "dumb*ss" "f*ckwad" etc like they're offensive sure but much more acceptable than like full blown bigoted slurs.

My mom did Not say slurs, but she is a pretty strong cusser on the road. We always found it funny, not really uncomfortable

On one hand, I understand that, on the other hand, therapy is unaffordable. I'd rather try to pursue happiness while trying to make sure my PTSD isn't too mu h of a burden on everyone else, imo

Gwyneth Paltrow absolutely has an ED

i can't bring myself to be concerned about a cult leader who got rich hurting people with her scams lol

Omg same! Hope you're okay💗

You did the absolute best and right thing for yourself. I've also had partners who were like this, and I had to end it. It was way too much and it's not fair or right.

ohh same, I can't sustain my focus in situations like that

I'm the opposite lol I need people to slow down and repeat themselves like 3 times to understand them sometimes And I work in a kitchen so it really annoys my coworkers I think 😅

I struggle with that too, and my therapist says it might have to do with my ADHD because my brain is so hyperactive and runs at 1000 mph, so when someone is speaking slowly it's more difficult for my brain to process it.

Incredibly based take. Most specialty game stores are independently owned, and I'm certain that no amount of support goes unnoticed, especially in an incredibly digital age. As somebody who considers myself a fan of tabletop gaming and the relationships that can be formed by participating in such communally, it can be disheartening to see game stores struggling to stay afloat.

As is the finishing a sentence thing. My best friend does it

I _hate_ when people tell me to smile more or some variation of that. My response is usually "if you want me to smile maybe you should do something to make me want to smile." Like you could just say "You have a really nice smile" if you want to compliment someone that way.

“It takes more effort to frown than to smile!” It takes even LESS effort to have a rested face!

​@@jojol.2630"You'll have a much harder time smiling with a swollen lip, dude."

Me too. It's better than the scratching and whining. I also found out they're instinctively trying to protect you because you're vulnerable when you're pooping. They do it for each other and for us. If you have a single dog they prefer if you stand by while they poop so they can relax more too.

@ ashley, do you not have a lock

@@2small4theMall it stopped working long ago

"If you're a LIZARD under HUMAN SKIN you have to tell me!" *under his breath* "if I'm wrong, I apologize"

I definitely interrupt people, and I do it pretty unconsciously. If I had to pinpoint a reason, I'd say it would probably be that I'm interested in what they have to say, and so I'll provide words or whatever to make sure they can continue their thoughts. If I let a pause hang, I feel rude, because it feels like I'm not engaged. Interjections, like you mentioned, I also do a lot when I'm engaged in a convo (and I went to film school so I promise it's not active listening). I've definitely had people get pissed at me about it though, as it does definitely come off as being rude if it's not what you're used to. Interesting how communication can differ so much, even within one language :]

I do that and people think I'm mean and I don't mean to be it's just how I talk

@@sewerrat7418 I’ve not found that to be the case in my personal experience, but yes that is definitely a serious issue.

"Or does that not bother you because it's something you fetishize" hits. Facts tho! I had boyfriends who were jealous of my male coworkers (who I never spoke to outside of work), but wouldn't have an issue with my girl friends who I'd confessed I made out with when I was drunk. Of course, one of my boyfriends was so insecure and paranoid that he couldn't handle it when I would have a girls night with my friends. I even sent him pictures of me and her putting on makeup and just chillin, and he called me and accused me of getting my "box licked" lmao. I was like, bro .... we're hanging out. Not fucking.

I'm about to start it because I have MS and I'm so nervous about it tbh

All I can think about now is how crunchy and hard that blanket would be bc how would you make a ramen blanket with cooked noodles? Thanks for the content of my hyperfixation this morning lmao 😅

The hair thing: There's different ways to compliment someone, complimenting someone on an incredible weave or hairstyle is usually fine and welcome, because its a choice the person made! Kinda like complimenting someone on what they're wearing or their makeup! It gets weird when you compliment someones hair when they havent done anything with it, when its just their natural hair chilling out - that would be more similar to complimenting someone for their face shape. In the first situation the compliment is personal, you're complimenting them on a choice they made, a choice that is unique to them and reflects their personality, and they got that hairstyle because they wanted it to look cool! In the second situation youre complimenting them on a physical feature that they don't control, that has nothing to do with them as a person, and that isnt specific to them - and that's when it's objectifying and weird :)

yeah, there's a narrator i love but sometimes shes just TOO slow. even at 1.5 or 2 she sounds normal, thats how slow she is :')

Totally agreed-I usually can’t speed up a book more than 1.1x speed without getting confused, but there are a few where I can put them on 2x speed no problem

Lauren Fortgang is among my favourites. The fact that I even know her name is incredible, because I do not care about narrators at all.