What 100,000+ Children Taught Us About Neglect in Early Childhood 

it's not scishow's fault the researchers didn't do that

Peter Atanasov I'm aware of this, but I wasn't sure if the researchers had put anything along those lines in their reports. If they did, then I wish SciShow would have put it in. But if they didn't, then obviously there is nothing that can be done.

Real RAD care is out there, but you need a trained psychologist to both diagnose and treat it. If you would like to find out more, look at Bruce Perry, who looks at extreme neglect and trauma in his book "The Boy who was Raised as a Dog." It is notable, though that forced hugging or holding against their consent, or rolling kids in carpets until they die, are a few ways people have tried to deal with RAD, but that not only makes it worse--because obviously RAD is a result of unhealthy consent/boundaries and agency not being taught, but is super, super dangerous and no good child or liscensed child psychologist should be recommending such so-called "therapy". The book I cited goes very much into detail why this is so. BTW, I'm also going to say that RAD isn't particularly high in adoptees anymore, though only a few percentage points above the average population, often agencies overblow the numbers. Foster Care, individualized care, etc has helped a bit to curb some of the issues, though Adoptees are still more prone to mood disorders, learning disabilities, ADD and ADHD mostly due to separation from the original caregivers.

They told how they did it - healthy supportive loving relationships. Love them. Care for them. Accept them as the person they are. Never critisize the person, always just the behavior. And tell what you truely see in them and what you wish to see how they act. If you don't know how it could work, there are a lot of books and videos about healthy relationships. I know, you will do your best!

RockBandRS +

what is that? never heard about it. google doesn't help either.

john pardon ACEs stands for adverse childhood experiences. This video is related to that. But I feel it should be covered more in depth than this video.

RockBandRS yeah after that, they could do an episode on Resilience.

Only ACES I knew were Asexuals. But now I'm interested what you're talking about.

Francois Lacombe same I'm confused

Same here 🤔

same

Same, I thought it was 'cause I work in a daycare and play music like this sometimes

Same

same. I actually can't watch this it triggers my CPTSD. You really need to be available and emotionally present for your child, too. A nanny feeding them or putting them in front of tv screens to distract them, may not seem like childhood neglect but it often can be.

Julika7 yes, me too. I hope it's worth waiting for it...

Yeah, I'm dealing with it too. Idk what this is.

Mine too here in Melbourne Australia

Julika7 me too. All other videos load fine. Strange

Same here. Even when I switched from WiFi to my mobile data.

o m read the articles and reports on the topic. Also later studies have been carried out a decade ago so there is further information after democracy became the norm in Romania. btw in Bulgaria there are similar problems to date despite democracy so there are other countries with similar phenomena.

YES!!! I agree!!! I could have watched documentary about this. Only that most documentaries are lacking in information, love these type short and sharp information. But still why not 15-20min long??? Subject is fundamental for this channel.

Unfortunately the format of these articles prevent that ,but you are right this needs a longer series of videos from someone that has the cash and production values to make it, it will have to be several videos.

There're several documentaries on RU-vid. Very disturbing.

John McCallum I agree with you that this format is designed to be very concise, but they could've at least picked up one example and explored it a bit more in order to make the video more interesting. The information provided is a good starting point, though, because I didn't even know it happened.

Djinnk042 good to know. I'll look it up. Thanks!

Cade Peterman I'm having the same problem

Ohh I thought my net was gliching.

same...

Me too!

Pie is at it again

If you're having too many problems loading on the app. Just go onto google chrome and search youtube then play it using the browser.

Same day 5 hours later and I confirm the same

Same here.

*only* this video is having that problem

I lowered video quality hoping it would help but it's still really slow.

FuchsEll foxx could you please send me the documentary?

TerriaHub don’t worry my dad was a horrible person as well my family including me are religious we’re Muslims and Allah and the Quran said don’t drink alcohol and my dad drank alcohol so he wasn’t a true Muslim he was a fake Muslim and he didn’t believe in Islam my entire family including me have cut talking or having any type of relationship with him I’m now very happy it’s good the rest of your family took you in how are you doing by the way

Alcohol is one of the worst drugs for sure.

+TerriaHub I hope things are better for you now. +Lutyano Alves Don't compare your childhood with other people's childhood. Just because you think someone's childhood was worse than yours, it doesn't mean your problems weren't real back then. If you can't be sad when other people have it worse than you, then you can't be happy when other people have it better than you.

Dino Fan you could've just said that my father abused me whenever he was drunk. What's with the whole "fake muslim" deal? Do you want to count sahabas that couldn't stop drinking?

That’s brave of you to admit this. I hope you feel loved.

Thank you! YT is looking into it for us.

I had to also wait 10 years to get any real diagnosis and still mostly the answers were Unknown/Mix results. They generelly knew what mentally and neurologically is wrong with me but same time.. Only broadly. Basically answer was that mental trauma had made my brain develop differently at neurological level and they had to find out disorders what fit most closely to the some of the things.

I wish you all the best, fellow sufferer! For me, being granted permanent disability retirement did the thing. It immediately became better and embracing the fact I'll stay alone for my remaining years (at least, I have an awesome adult daughter and a few great friends) allows for a decent life. I hope you'll get to this point asap.

Do you have a partner?

This probably crossed over with my reply. No. I was married for 10 years, but it most of the time was hell for both of us. I'm basically unable to have healthy relationships and feel better without.

Boy, that sounds like pretty much every government evah

Iago Silva I see why say that

J Riibz Model Prime Why not

Michael Wade haha same here

I'm really sad to hear it. I hope somehow it gets better. Not everyone should have kids.

Ruth Tryphosa same here, I've been trying to watch it for a few days.

Maddie After reading your response I have emailed them. Hopefully they get back to us.

Thanks Ruth! It appears to have been a YT glitch, but is working now.

SciShow no it's not. It still won't load.

Thanks Ruth! It's not the upload, it's on YT's end, so they're looking into it. Maybe try watching on a laptop or desktop, if you can. The problem seems to be on mobile or TVs.

Matthew Conway - I tried watching graveyard girl's newest video and it did the same thing. But it wasn't doing it for any of the older videos vids I watched. It's very odd.

Four days later and this video is still buffering.

And make some history-ade

Thank you! That's the word I was trying to think of!

I agree to some extent, but having been seriously neglected for the first 6 yrs of my life and abused for the next 16, it isn't so easy. It takes a lifetime and alot of good therapy, also very hard work. But I did it, I have found happiness but I'm one of the lucky ones.

I'm talking about society learning from history. I also experienced decades of heinous abuse, and all these years later I have come to the understanding that, for me, there will never be complete healing. Some things will be mitigated with therapy and assistance, but other things will not.

Life gave me lemons from the get-go..... Sincerely, jeramy lemons

That's not the issue. I already have YT Red and I'm having issues watching this video also.

I haven't gotten arrogant yet from anybody. Unless you count? People usually complain that I'm rude.. Or negative, when I just think about thigs in honest and realistic ways. Reality and truth seem to be often quite grim to most people cause they have the skill or sense to look the subject matter much more positive way cause they don't take it as it is.. Or more like how they imagine it could be. I kinda get that but can't do it myself cause often that's not the real (and often ugly) reality in front of you. Often positivity is a lie or fantasy. Not real thing. All the fantasy things I leave to my imaginary world but don't take them with me in the real world. I also have really strong sense about things being fair or unfair - not in away that I would do some stupid revenge things, but in a way that if I notice something unfair I do call it out. No matter to who it's unfair. It just bothers me so much and I find it weird that it's not bothering other people at all. Like many of those unfair things are normal. Also I found it weird that as a child in school people thought that I'm liar and thief because of my honesty. And it has happened couple of times after too. What's so weird. At that point I didn't even know how to lie or manipulate cause I was quite a bit behind.. But some reason the child like honesty made me to be quite opposite on other people's eyes. (I was soft target. I'm still a target for using and bullying but not so soft anymore.) Later on I did learn how to lie and manipulate but decided not to - partly selfish reasons.. How could I expect people to be honest with me if I'm not honest to them? Even white lies are very dangerous in my eyes.. And often they might end up being unfair! I don't ask people what I'm doing wrong but I often at the start just say that if I'm doing something wrong, don't be afraid to come and tell that to me instead keeping it in. I want to learn from it. (Rarely work but some people do get it.) Faking a smile? Faking it? I can't do that. You can see fake smile mile away, especially from my face cause my real smiling is more like feeling around me (at least what my friends told me). Ofcourse I have the natural polite smile when in polite conversation but other than that.. I don't have much a smile. My way of dealing the social stuff is that I'm trying to be helpful and say "have a good day".. Or just trying to listen. Elderly at least seems to be okay with that. And cash registers. Yeah. It's dangerous business to be honest in the internet. I'm as much as I can - but that's why I'm behind nickname.. Not to bully, lie or be nasty at people - it's to be save from those people. True that you never really know.

Nagarath16 - Maybe you're just naturally really cynical. But people having positive attitudes about things are really more about people having hope than behaving in false ways. It's confidence where you fake it til you make it, but maybe hope can work the same way. Also, stupid youtube app, not letting people see the long comments they're trying to respond to.

Not trying to be judgmental, just want to help you out. But I think your problem is thinking in terms of absolutes and a need for things to be correct. These contribute to the assumption that other people who are more lenient are either morally feeble, irrational, or somehow unable to sense the wrongness that you perceive. Have you seen John Green's video "On Punctuality"? In it he talks about how we all have one virtue that we are very proud of - and how taking that virtue to an extreme can become a vice. Your virtue is integrity/always following the (moral/social) rules. The problem is, depending on the situation, what's "correct" according to those rules may in fact be harmful. There aren't many absolute moral or social rules that can't become harmful if applied improperly. That's what's getting you into trouble (ironically). Be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking "I'm hated because I'm good and they want to be bad/they don't like being reminded that they're wrong". Nitpicking does not make one a martyr. The world is deeply messed up, but we have limited time, energy, resources, and influence. All of us have to decide which parts we're going to fight to improve and which ones we'll let pass for now. Trying to fight to fix everything just makes the important parts get lost in the mix. People who understand that will let the little things go while still being very morally upright overall. If you have the time, I suggest you take a course or read a book on philosophy. Philosophy is basically the art of trying to sort reality into neat little boxes. You would probably find it very interesting to see how many different systems and theories there are. A good book is "The Philosophical Journey" by William Lawhead (it's a college textbook, so get one of the older editions to save money). Or just get a book from the library - just make sure it's a general overview of philosophy; don't dive right into Voltaire and Descartes without some advance study. You'll probably find you agree a lot with Kant's ethics (basically he says that the only action that is right is one that A: Would be good if everyone did it all the time, and B: Is done in the spirit of doing it just because it is right, not because it will bring about a good end). But the philosophical counters to Kant may help you find some socially-helpful wiggle room in your own moral code. You might also enjoy the channel "The School of Life" here on RU-vid. They talk a lot about acknowledging pain and using pessimism in a positive manner.

I used to date someone like you Nagarath16, but not as drastic of a case. He used his intellect to become a more loveable person and I would say he's normal now. His greatest attribute may be that dozens of people call him for his judgment on all matters, scientific, psychological, relational, etc, b/c it's almost flawless. When we started dating, I thought some of the same negative thoughts about him, but I learned by listening to what he was saying that he was much more innocent than others perceived. I had to drop all types of my own pride, so it was good for me in personal development, b/c he pointed out (almost) every wrong thinking process of mine, and way of behaving, and expected me to correct it. It was hard during the times, but after dropping lots of pride, it's wonderful! I'm a better person, more concerned with accuracy and truth, and I realize how important those things are now. He changed me to be more like him, and I LOVE it. I love what Pendlera said, especially about not nitpicking, but choosing the most important problems to work on first, and skipping the not important ones. I also liked patsfan246 experience, slightly different from yours. I would love to meet you 2, but that's not really possible. It's hard for people to drop their pride when shown to be wrong. It seems so unnatural, I don't even know how to inform a person how to do that. I only did it cuz I "loved" or was attracted to or wanted in a romantic way this exboyfriend, so it made me stay and listen and try harder to understand. Now I think he's one of the best things that ever happened to me, and the most valuable person I know on the planet. Also because he learned how to show love, gentle touching care, "wanting" of others, and honest humility, which make him likeable. I'm not really trying to convert you, but since you are good at distinguishing truth from lie, look into whether the Bible's claims are true or not. I'm a Christian; I've found them to be factual. And of course if they are, it's of utmost importance, because eternity is eternity, and if eternal happiness, love, and fulfillment are possible, it would be stupid to pass it up. Anyway, I thought I had a piece of practical advice to help you, but I can't remember it now. If I do, maybe I'll come back and post it. Much luck to you 2, Nagarath and patsfan.

For some reason I keep forgetting her name and then I read this and think, "she's British?"

Matthew Conway it wasn't my family, it was the Romanian orphanage she lived in until she was adopted.

Gustavo Medrano it seems like it's happening to a lot of people. It's happening to me, I'm just pausing it for a while then watching it once it's buffered a bit

There's a huge difference between bratty kids and kids incapable of connecting with others because they were tied to their beds for hours as an infant. Like, a huge difference. Spoiling a kid is not neglect in the way that leaving a kid alone for hours and hours is.

No there isn’t. Quite the contrary. We’re seeing an epidemic of personality disorders which are rooted in sociopathology from attachment disorders due to the neglect of spoiling. Spoiling is serious emotional and physical neglect that prevents bonding.

Is it possible that many people were watching this video simultaneously and this has caused the slow down?

Matthew Conway! Gosh! I'm afraid you are right! That's so nasty, because it's such an important topic and it's just a short video anyways. Greed and envy drives the humanity crazy.😟

cookiesandroses2001 si eu sper la fel

Romanians are hot (i guess)

I thought I was the only Romanian here, because most of the other Romanians are not aware of this kind of RU-vid channels as they don't care about learning things which are worth-knowing and prefere, instead, watching stupid vloggers or listening to the well-known "manele".It is really sad how this country is going down, but I'm glad that there is still hope since I saw that there are Romanians like me who consider that an informed Romania is a better one^^

you too? yeah, the video buffered so bad in this. i thought it was just my connection, but i can watch other sci show psychology video just fine