I used to have a roommate at university who was pure toxic and guess what, she made all friends turn away from one of the girls in our circle of friends. She turned everyone against her with lies, just because she was jealous to her. It took a while until we all found out what was going on. She is still toxic. She stole another woman's husband and made the stupid man's life hell too.
I knew a toxic person who was so high functioning they did some crazy shit that for some reason no one else even acknowledged. They wanted to date another person, and that person said they were not into them. So they sabotaged their entire social life and made them a laughing stalk. Isolated and alone, the butt of every joke. It took a concerted campaign to make this happen, and I remember just how down and isolated that person was. I remember going up to them and being like "This isnt you. Someone is trying to destroy you and your self confidence. I dont know what they have in mind, but its more than casual". In those moments, they really appreciated the support because I swear everyone else cared so much about politics they forgot to be decent. Then that person, having successfully isolated and destroyed the self confidence of this person, moved in. They then became "The only source of support" that person had. The only one lifting them up. I dont count because when I did it, I was just doing it to be decent. This person had an agenda, and they made the person they isolated FEEL that they were alone in the world and only had them. They then transitioned it to a relationship in that "One step at a time" kinda way that doesnt require you actually make a decision. The same way you get addicted to drugs. At that point they then went the other way, lifting this person up and blaming everyone else for attacking them because they were jealous. They made sure they never got too close to their friends after that. Always second teir, leaving early kinda stuff. Keeping them dependant. Sometimes when we were just alone in the room for whatever reason, it would all stop and we would just look at eachother and say nothing. They couldnt get me with their games and I refused to play, so we just existed around eachother. The lack of pretense in those memories still freaks me out, even though at the time I recognized it was a predator face off an I had to make sure they knew I was not prey. They strait isolated that person from the pack, hunted them, and claimed them. They made the political landscape such that everyone had short memories about it. Then they went about consuming others. Shit was scary. Especially the short memories part.
@@Elemblue2 Sucks you had to witness that dude. Some people are just so manipulative. I hope that person gets out of it, and that the monster is finally put away.
ayyeee i knew a toxic girl in HS and my parents were like nah don't hang out with her and im like she seems fine but she said something really shady when she came to my house and it was weird. Then she said something about my sister and said some things about this one girl and i was like umm...no dude i gotta dip but i hope she didn't say anything about me [i feel like she did bc some ppl acted real weird around me at then of HS now that i think about it] but this girl told me how she ruined her HS year and im like yeah shes the type whos real insecure abt that stuff..
I think it's important to identify not only toxic people, but toxic groups as well. I've seen both. It's like the old saying goes "birds of a feather flock together". You can have a good group that becomes polluted by that one douchenoodle, and on the other side of the coin, you can have that one good person who accidentally falls into the wrong crowd. I've learned the hard way. Used to chill and mingle with a group that seemed really cool on the surface, but really enjoyed talking garbage about others behind their back. Like "this person smells", or "that person is dumb", or "this person is this, that, and the other thing." I even found myself contributing to the conversation and agreeing with these douchenoodles, just so I wasn't "that guy". Overtime I just started slowly building resentment for the kind of people they were, and distanced myself from them more and more each time, until finally I didn't have to deal with them anymore, and it's been great ever since. I still see them around occasionally, but I keep convos extremely short, sometimes only saying "hi" and "bye". Usually acting like I'm too busy to chat, and "I gotta jet outta here". What that said, I just want to point out that it's perfectly possible for a group to be just as toxic as an individual. The whole "pack mentality" can be a very bad thing. I keep and eye out for that crap now. Anyone, or any group acting the fool/fools, I distance myself from now, before it even starts. Stay safe out there all! Avoid those toxic douchnoodles! Lol
I love this comment as I've been there. Knew this girl who seems cool but I made her mad once on accident she they showed me her group of friends who were very rude, toxic telling me lies about who I am. They just met me. A bunch of trash talkers. I'm glad I kept my distance and she left and I went my own way...I don't miss her either.
I was in a group like that. One half was chill and smoked weed and we did cool things together, the other were emos. I was unproblematic as hell and overfriendly so the emos didn't like me. They all turned on me one day and cut me off and I was so upset. In the end I never spoke to any of them again and hung out with the other half of the group that was cool asf.
I had a toxic friend once. He was always jealous of me and thought I was holding him back. And when his wife saw he was having problems he totally flipped out! He started yelling at her and then got mad at me! He claimed that I "turned her against" him and the psycho got so mad he actually tired to kill me! Needless to say I had to end our friendship there is then. I *_cut_* things off with him both literally and figuratively. Word is he's still _smoldering_ about the entire confrontation.
This really makes me feel more confident in my decision of leaving my friend group. For years we've been great friends but I was someone who wasn't very confident about myself. I was also someone who was suffering with anxiety and depression. These friends were twins and there parents weren't the greatest but basically every argument that we had it felt as it was always my fault, that I was the problematic one, or that they were the victim, and they practically gaslighted me and took advantage of my self-consciousness to make them feel good about themselves probably. They were always the ones trying to get me into things, and when we did stuff together, they always seemed to be bored with my ideas rather than there's. Of course, I was naive and not in the right mindset but neither were they. When I finally said my goodbyes in the nicest way possible, they just kept being bitches and saying that it's my fault and that anxiety has nothing to do with the way I act which, spoiler alert, mental health does a lot. I was a supportive friend, even in my worst times, and they never did much for me so seeing this makes me realize how similar this Eric was. For those who are struggling, please be careful with the friends you choose, otherwise, they might make your life even worse. Thankfully I'm in better spot in my life and recovering better with the support of my mom so I can honestly say, I made the right decision and even gained a lot of self confidence in myself.
Be safe and I'm proud you did the right thing for a better mental health and life positively in short, ignore the haters and do what you love as long with your true friends support you 100% with happiness! 👍💗😉
Toxic friends are usually narcissists due to probability. But not all narcissists are toxic (just 99%). The difference is whether you take advantage of others or not.
Toxic women only date girly, artsy "men" who they can control and use and marry men just to divorce them to take half of their assets. They accuse us alpha males of "toxic masculinity" because they know we won't fall for any of that and that the world was a tougher and better place when we were in control. Very selfish
I recognized that in the past (and even in the recent past) that I was often the toxic one. I let my pride, my ego, and my narcissism get the best of me for years and it hurt a lot of the people I loved. I did things I thought were right at the time, but turned out to be in self interest. I have since apologized to my group of friends, and I asked them for help. I realized it wasn't something I could do alone. I needed people to call me out on my bull shit. I still have a few tendensies, but over all, I am getting better. I am more humble. But I still have a ways to go. This helps me to know what to look for better. This helps a toxic person rehabilitate. Thank you.
People change, and it is also important for you to reflect on where those actions might have stemmed from. Although it is not an excuse, going back in time can help you fix broken pieces and rebuild yourself.
Don’t write yourself off just yet. You could be a confused victim. Narcissists often make their victims identify with them. And narcissists don’t usually change. So it’s more likely you never were a narcissist and were gas lighted.
I had a lot of toxic tendencies from my upbringing, understanding the origins can really help someone release the bad habits and accept new ones. Most importantly we should keep trying to be a better person everyday, life’s a marathon not a sprint.
Yeeesssss omg because like- almost all of my friends are super the opposite of self absorbed, meanwhile I care for myself quite a bit, and I know it's probably way better to care for myself than not but I can't help but think am I selfish? also, my friends buy me gifts n stuff but I can't do the same for them because I don't have any money so most of what I do is handmake things or draw, but I worry that's not good enough. I'm afraid that maybe someone is gonna snap at me one of these days.
Likewise. Been friends with a girl since elementary school, but her dark side wasn't made obvious to me until my 16th birthday party. She wanted nothing to do with me the entire day, instead spending a majority of her time on my computer chatting on Facebook. Two years later, she didn't even invite me to her 16th. Her parents felt guilty because they assumed we were very close, and so they were the ones that came to my house to apologize, even giving me a slice of her cake. Come to think of it, her parents were better friends than my "best friend" was...>
Haven't you noticed that everybody who is toxic is always angry, always stressed, and never progresses in life? Like they are literally always in the same area talk in the same shit about the same people. I take joy in knowing this.
@@Awaiting_YHWHs_Return I take joy in the fact that people who manipulate and people who are generally toxic, get what they deserve. keep in mind I did NOT say that everyone who had problems is toxic, I said everyone who's toxic have problems.
Narcissistic people are NOT inherently toxic. Narcissism is a disorder. And obviously, you shouldn't be ableist and say "everyone with this disorder is like this". People can be toxic WITHOUT having disorders.
me but I did a personality test and it came out as ''egoistic, dominant, leader, signs of narcissism'' so I might actually BE the toxic one lol also it said I am mildly depressed :(
I had a toxic friend who was an attention seeker. It got to the point of where she started faking depression and DID, and thats' where I crossed the line and cut her off. She'd always guilt me and my friends, she was hypocritical, tried to basically become me, and was disrespectful to others. So glad I cut her off
I had a toxic friend back in art school who was comically bad. -I sent him a concept I'd been working on to proofread, and he submitted it as his own project -He'd ask people to see what they were working on, then steal the good parts claiming "Oh I'd always had this idea, I just never drew it until now" -Never contributed to group projects, he'd go out at lunch breaks to buy manga, then read it DURING school hours when we were waiting on his work. -When he'd get in trouble for slacking off, he'd always blame someone else. It was NEVER his fault, he was "only slacking because people were harsh to him for slacking." -He stayed with friends but barely ever paid rent, and kept mooching off other people for food, never got a job. -When people weren't giving him attention, he'd get really upset and start being an asshole, spreading stories and revealing secrets of his other friends, just to get attention back. -He thought very highly of himself, and thought there was something wrong with women for not wanting to date him. "I'm so smart and handsome, I'm like an elvish prince, if you don't want a piece of this, then you're dumb as shit". After a year, almost the entire class wanted nothing to do with him lol
This video hit me way to hard. I lost all my friends due to being the target of a toxic "friend" we had. My only mistake was later accepting her "apology" and her wanting to mend things. I was used for money by her and someone I truely trusted. I'm glad you still had friends to stand by with. Toxic people are harder to deal with when you have no one else
yeah same I left my toxic friend and his group Bc I didn’t wanna hang out with him anymore. For a while I didn’t really have any close friends after that as that group was the one I hanged out the most. I tried to not hangout with them when they asked but it was hard because most of them were my neighbors and lived really close. But I ended up finding a new friend this school year and he’s great. Legit started being good friends in a few weeks. He ended up adding me to his group of other friends and they’re good too. Though I already knew some of the ppl in there but we became more closer. but yeah that’s just my story hopefully u get better too :’)
Check the description for the ones that worked on the animations lately. They’re some pretty hard working people and the system them and Swoozie set up is pretty interesting
I think the best part in situations like this is when you learn that *everyone* has a story about the toxic friend. It's really affirming to know you're not some paranoid doofus.
“Put yourself in a position where you can help them but they can’t hurt you, limit their access to you” Took that to heart cutting out a toxic friend/ex a few months ago and ya’ll I am so much happier for it
Yoooo this video just made me kinda realize I got a toxic ass homie. I’ve thought about it, but this has confirmed it. This man always complaining about how all his other friends left him, and always trying to make me feel shitty if he ever thinks I do him wrong in the slightest. He’s always the victim. Whenever I call him he talks for like 90% of the time, barely asks about me. Idk if he even realizes it. He has his moments of being a real homie, but fits the description of a toxic friend quite well. Damn, I’m kinda sad😔😔
He is toxic bro. I’ve dealt w the same people. I would tell you to talk about it with him, and it’s worth a try, but usually the problem with those people is even if they know they’re in the wrong they will do leaps and bounds in their own head to make themselves believe that they’re not. That’s much easier for them than actually going through a realization that they’re being toxic
Bruh i remember i passed out first thing at school and went to the hospital I got discharged about 6 hours later And he called me while i was laying down at home (turns out i had pneumonia i dont even wanna get into that situation cause that involves him too more than you would think) The first thing this man asks me was if I checked his snap cuz he screen recorded a fight he was in And bragging and shit And we were on the phone for about 3 hours and not once did this man ask what was up wit me and whyd o pass out. So yea im just like eyup 90% of the convo cuz im starting to realise this man for himself and dont give af about me And hes supposedly my best friend He wasnt always like that but he started actin like i wronged him greatly and if did he never said nun And then on top of that My grandma died last year in april And when i was feeling like shit He hugged me an said And i quote "Dont worry im going through tougher things than you" I wouldve chopped that bad social etiquette So i said i get the gesture but thats no something you say to people Cuz people who dont know you might take it a different way which wont always be positive And he follows that up with Wow i try to be nice to your ass and youre being a judgemental asshole I honestly dont know why were still friends But i think im still gonna try
There will always be this toxic in society, you are so right !, what I knew so far that they are at least in a big social circle such as Classes and so on. What I understood today, is that they do not stop there but find a way to crawl into a normal social circle, I had a friend who always kept an eye on my actions - feels almost a kind of parent - I'm kind of successful in school, thank God, and he would get upset every time I missed or did not show up for one reason or another, Not to mention that when he was missing out, it's usually because he spent all night at the bar or went to At sea or to the pool, and that guy, feels the need to criticism me, Nice to know that more people understand this kind of people and are careful about it... Really love your content By the way!!!!
That’s actually making things worse. They will obsess over contacting you and they will be worse. Just say, hey! Here are the things that I don’t think are good traits.
@@dwatsonj I dont do trends, but carrying a dog at a party issa mood Meaning, you dont wanna deal with people, so you only care about the dog there. Not sure if you been to a party, but some people have dogs, and I chill with that dog🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
I once had this toxic friend who talked bad about everyone so one day she was “testing me” saying “How do you go to bed knowing you talk bad about everyone?” And I was like “Shouldn’t you know?”
Oof girl almost the same thing happened to me this one friend I had started talking bad about one of our other friends in front of a bunch of us like “ever since she went to college all she does is have sex and smoke weed” and I snapped back with “isn’t that you? Oh wait no you don’t smoke weed, you vape, which is addictive so it’s worse” Haven’t been good with her since, and she tells everyone I called her a drug addicted whore (even the sister of the girl she was talking bad about, who of course took my side) 🤷♀️ didn’t need that in my life anyway
I've been watching this video since it came out... I find myself coming back to it because I feel like I've had a lot of epiphanies when it comes to toxic people and need to be reminded that I'm not crazy I am seeing the signs they are just gaslighting. Right now I'm dealing with my cousin who is just being nasty and my whole family is struggling because she is family but it's gotten to the point where it's just impossible to be around her without something being a problem because she's always portraying herself as the victim like you said. This video has been very eye opening and I hope you know that you're really helping people out here who struggle with the little things. Thank you Swoozie.
Yo, straight up, had this happen to me today. My “friend” went and told my ex something I told him in confidence during the break up 6 months ago. I was just venting about being used and he turned that into me hurting her when me and my ex were chill. She gets crazy mad on me, I deduce the situation and I’m cutting this man out. These signs are 100% facts, wish I had this sooner. Would’ve saved a lot of heartache. I did tons of stuff for this dude and he did barely anything for me
I love how real you keep it in your videos. It's good vibes, and helps a lot of people (including myself) process different things going on in their lives through relatability. I love your videos. Keep up the amazing work 👍
Bro you know I have tried this and unfortunately, my toxic friend was so manipulative that it sort of backfired. So like be careful and keep distance when that’s the only sensible thing to do.
this is why I always ask why someone is "shady" cuz once they gotta explain why they don't like someone and neither should you everyone else starts picking up on how shady the toxic friend is
This story hit deep. I was friends with a toxic person for eleven years, who's toxic behavior I didn't catch on to until they lived with me. When it ended, I went to all the people I still had contact with and asked them about the stories they told me, since I found out they were lying about me, not just to their friends, and our friends, but *to my family*. It was very illuminating.
When toxic people can’t control you they try to control how everyone sees you. I’ve had to cut off a few toxic friends myself and they did that same stuff. Keep it real swoozie.
Yes! They like to do that! I HOPE THIS YEAR OF SCHOOL NOBODY IS GONNA BE THAT PERSON! or I’ma warn my bffs because YOU CAN DO ANYTHING BUTME AND MY BFFS WILL STAY LOYAL TO EACHOTHER!
For me it was my friend's toxic friend that they did not want to like get a handle on or recognize their bullshit because how long they've been friends with the toxic prick. So I had to drop my friend. Toxic friend muted me on discord, for no discernible reason, friend won't confront toxic asshole about it. Tells me even that toxic friend has done it to other ppl and they didnt care nearly as much as I did, so I should just deal. Yeah, bitch bye.
some toxicity is much more subliminal. i knew someone who had a lot of emotional issues and they said their friends stopped texting them so i flung myself at them to be a shoulder to cry on and everything, i just care about people yknow what i mean? and we text and chat A LOT. but not just friend texts, it was always helping them work through their problems and i was like "i get it fam youre going through a lot, i GOTCHU homie." but no matter how much advice i gave and reassurance, its like everything i put into our relationship grew no fruit. it was ALWAYS me doing stuff to make them feel better, and then when i needed someone to talk to about stuff in MY life --- nothing. it got so draining, i dreaded their messages and phone calls because of the emotional toll. eventually they went to inpatient therapy for self harm and couldnt text me and it was kind of a relief. after they got out we just kind of drifted apart and i havent heard from them since. like i get it they needed help, but no matter how much help i gave (and i gave my EVERYTHING you must understand) i just ended up feeling used. so yeah, people can feed on your kindness sometimes.
I feel you're pain. Especially if you do share with the toxic person, then they decide to share it or make fun of your pain. I recommend talking with mutual friends and tell them the advice because I can guaranty you the toxic person probably shared it with them also.
Same thing happened to me when I was in school and boy it gave me loads of emotional damage. I'm glad I managed to get out but it took me a long time to heal. Years later we did reconcile, spoke about our true feelings but still kept our distance because we were better off without each other.
This is so great - a subject a that needs a little levity! It does suck that if you point out someone is toxic, people raise and eyebrow at you. I’ve learned to just take actions on boundaries and wait for people to find out themselves. OR just tell stories with facts - no labels or judgment-and then let other people come to their own conclusions. Be an ear and source of validation when they’re ready.
Don't feel bad for them. They need to see stuff like this. Realize that's them, and grow as a person. If they don't they're going to be like that to other people.
@@cornloin9732 You should always think in the other person's perspective and be open-minded to where they are coming from. You don't have to agree with everything they say, but you should still respect their boundary and just leave as that. Understand that the world does not revolve around you, and most people honestly don't care about you or what you do because they have their own problems to worry about. It doesn't mean you aren't important; it just means you just need a couple true friends that are there for you when you need it. Relationship is a both way. You need to be there for them when they are going through a rough time just like they would for you. Those are the ones that's worth your time to reach out to; otherwise, don't bother.
I used to be this friend. I quit it after I realised my friends were avoiding me. Now I'm the one who points these people out. I was toxic to feel like someone cared, it wasn't worth it. Be nice
I wanted people to feel bad for me so I manipulated them into all sorts of things. I kept playing victim, until I was taught how to be better by a friend. He wasn't happy about me doing this & I learned that's not how you make friends or keep them
@@AlphaBookZ Thank you so much for telling me, it makes me understand people a little bit better. It's really great you've changed. You have such an awesome friend, so many people would just run away, myself included. I felt like you were the type of toxic person who didn't really know what you were doing was wrong and thus could change once made aware. Good luck on your life journey.
@@AlphaBookZ Ah, I'm beginning to understand. Thank you again for your response, it was incredibly enlightening to me. Using your experience to help others is a noble thing, keep at it.
@@zeebeeplayz that's not true but ok. Not all toxic people are aware they are toxic. A lot of the time it can be someone who grew up in a toxic household and just think it's how everyone should/will act.
I wish I had seen this video before I had a toxic friend, SERIOUSLY that shit lasted for over three years and luckily I cut off contact with him and from now on whenever I feel guilty about it, I'll watch this video and remember why I cut ties with that dude, you're absolutely incredible and I wish I was your friend irl, you seem like an incredibly fun guy to be around
As someone who used to BE THAT PERSON, I can vouch that all of what is said here is true, to other toxic people out there that have yet to change your attitude, PLEASE find a way to do it, not next week, not next month. NOW. You want to feel actually liked? Then don't be an asshole, accept that things won't always go your way, and that even with the closest people THERE WILL BE disagreements and ideologies floating about.
@@melaniesaucedo3602 I'm glad to hear that! Self improvement always comes first. A toxic person is someone who although is selfish, does not take time to look at oneself. It's quite a wild realization.
Yeah, I too was a bit toxic as well. Not to the point of the dude mentioned in the video, but I was kinda toxic. I am trying to better myself, but every friend group I've "been" in has someone already who is pulling the strings. I've already been targeted by this person, which only confirms what I thought of them, so I'm just going to back off. Being toxic myself, I can easily see when other people are the same. Again, trying to improve myself, but that knowledge is pretty useful as well.
Htf you gonna pick at a movie at ahouse that isn't even yours (Fair go, they did give first refusal but, still!) only to bail not even ⅛ way in (assuming this a 2hr picture) and get prissy when someone Flatly REFUSES to give you THEIR keys.
toxic people are toxic, they cannot maintain friendships or love because they are immature but they have a talent for passing their problem on to people who have never asked for it, but the point is that if you are too naïve or too protective, it's the same as toxic people you should be able to let your friends learn their own lessons
@@KrisMadas its his channel and he can do what he wants. he wasn't toxic anyway and the video is entertaining which is what his followers want. if ur bothered u must be an "Eric"!!!!!!!
@@ZS89908 Never once did I judge swoozie. I love the channel, been watched for 5 years. Lucas just asked what they might find shady and what I said could be a reason. Chill
Swoozie telling his stories on his bed is very entertaining on its own, but with the right exaggerated animation, it goes PAST being perfect! Hope I get to be an animator for someone who tells stories like these one day but I need to get my act and work together first.
Yeah toxic people often paint themselves as heroes/victims rather than villains so they might see the video and be like “people can be real bitches these days” and yet- it’s them...they’re bitches
All, literally ALL, of these characteristics of a toxic friend can be found in my high school best friend. So when you said they are never the bad guy, always the victim, I can relaaate. My best friend was so toxic I was apologizing for fights that weren’t even my fault. SO manipulative to this day.
Same, I was always really supportive of them and what they did constantly but she was never supportive of me and whenever I told her something personal the next day everyone in our group knew what I told her. So i stopped telling her stuff then she accused me of being manipulative because I stopped telling her my personal struggles and situations. Also whenever I cried she always left because “it made her uncomfortable” and would constantly play “devils advocate”.
Having a toxic relationship is so painful, especially if you're gullible and have tons of sympathy for others. I once had a toxic relationship with someone, and they'd always make me feel guilty for things. They turn the situation to me, and they had manipulated me to do what they wanted by threating me for not being their friend. It made me fall into slight depression from this. I just totally cut them off and met some online friends who had made me feel a lot better. Leave those toxic friends!☣
I had a toxic person in my group…tip 1 and 2 were spot on. Always played the victim and their original friend group of yrs cut her off…this video was spot on. I have said my piece, I have voiced my concerns, and my real friends and I removed her from our lives after that. Good video Swoozie. You never miss!
