What Did Y'all Do To Elmo? + Stanley Cups Are Jordans For White Women 

This was a great show and it was a pleasure to meet you!

I am hoping to catch you when you come to Austin, Texas. I was hoping for a Houston show listing, but you are worth the drive. You brighten my day.

Your comedy is top tier. Can’t wait to be able to get the opportunity to see your show! Someday it will happen! (You may just have to add some EU tour dates, haha!)

Elmo for the win! Love you Josh.

So sad I had to miss it ! hopefully you come back soon.

Underrated comment and unfortunately very true

Great comment. Like they ⬆️ said, sad but true

Humans don’t have any evolutions for trauma cause it doesn’t technically kill you so we just trauma dump when we can’t hold it any more.

it’s neglect

That’s most likely true or they won’t just be honest with the people they know so Elmo is catching the heat of these emotional dumpster fires

I literally heard his voice as I read this 😅

elmo don't be right, himself, always talking in the third person like that

​@@360.TapestryElmo's like five years old give him a break 😭

​@@swellactually Elmo is 3 and a half, he doesn't know any better. But good on him for asking.

@@charlesshoffner4201 *Elmo has a birthday coming up and he will be three and a half AGAIN.* That inspires me to count my birthday's like Elmo, too. Braxstine is about to celebrate the 30th anniversary of her 25th birthday. 😁

Elmo wanted that Kermit tea 🫖 he was like I’m abt to set it off with this one COE. Elmo is viral

Awww, no I don’t think so. Poor muppet. He’s sweet as hell

@@katboss4886watching larry david throttle elmo on a daytime talk show was peak content

@@katboss4886he muscled out Grover and 2/3 of the content, forget that little red creep

Gotta have my Stanely cup 🏆

He became everyone’s stuffed animal.

Yeah 😭so true ❤

You guys saw Larry David throttle him right? That's my point!

I miss that man, but at the same time I'm relieved he doesn't have to live in the world we have now.

He was the best

just laying my shit on the table to the fuckin mailman. But in fairness, people get reallllllly fuckin honest in return and start dishing out their stuff too and it usually ends up being healing lmao I've had uber drivers in tears talking about their divorce 7 years ago 5 minutes into the ride

I did this too, for too long. I thought it was weird ppl would ask when they don't actually care.

shit i'm also the person to talk to the unhoused while my friends pull me back. I'm a community organizer so it's normal for me but yeahhhhhh my friends get worried

​@llamamama75 Thank you! Don't ask if you don't want a legitimate answer, am I right?

I'm AutDHD 👋 This is a weird habit I picked up from neurotypicals. And this is very much a neurotypical thing. I found myself saying "How you do'in," not really expecting an answer. Yet if someone asks me, I want to give an honest answer. You ask me how I'm doing, I'm going to tell you. Don't ask if you don't care! You get it 😁 And I still ask, and I respect a real answer over "I'm good, how bout you?" Like, how long do you want us to lie to each other? 😂

I know and it got zero reaction!

Wow. Somehow that perfectly explains my life.

​@83gemm I couldn't understand the last word, and I rewound it. Thanks to the poster here, it is a great line?

😫😫😫😫😂😂😂😂

I didn’t even knew Elmo had a father or parents tbh lol 😂 I had to do a google search to verify this information lol 😂

Elmo has a better dad than most people responding to the tweet.

If we all had a Louie ourselves maybe we wouldn't be trauma dumping elmo on Twitter 🤷🏻‍♂️

@@carenasmith7 Elmo and Louie were interviewed by Gayle King and the two guys (The Pips?) last week. It was an adorable interview and Louie explained that he reads all of Elmo's Twitter stuff since Elmo is only three and a half (for the past 40 years).

Yep. When my psychiatrist would start out like that, I would ask if that was a question he wanted an answer to or if we were starting with pleasantries

I have cptsd. Sometimes I am so positive touch deprived that I have to go get a massage. So thank you for your work, it is truly at times, life saving.

@@mavicityrelayson2924 If it's ever viable for you, I'd recommend getting a dog. A cat could work too, but they're less likely to be down to cuddle at a moment's notice. I also have trauma from my childhood, idk if it would count as cptsd, but I was touch-starved for the first 15 years of my life until someone recommended my mom that I get a puppy. It helped me in so many ways, it got me out of the house often, it gave me something to hug when I felt alone, it gave me something to talk about at the dog park and therefore I learned to socialize, etc. It was beneficial for my mental and physical health in a myriad of ways, not to mention how much it helped my development to be responsible for the training, food, waste and cleanliness of another living being, though that might not apply to you. I understand at the end of the day nothing replaces the feeling of being touch-starved for human intimacy, it was a very slow-going and painful process, but "dog touch" is a very good substitute in the meantime, and it does make a difference. It just takes a lot longer probably, and it depends on how you're doing currently. I'm in my second year of university now, and all the friends I made when I was 17 are really far away now, but by talking to them frequently and sleeping with my dog in my arms (even though you're "not supposed to") all my symptoms have went away, I can safely say I'm no longer touch-starved. I know this is probably tmi, funny considering the video I'm replying under, but I just wanted to explain the reasoning behind me making the suggestion. I didn't trust people to touch me, that was an important component to me, and it's amazing that this wasn't the case for you, but I hope this helps either you or someone else reading this wondering how to help themselves.

Well you asked lol - but he probably should have told his children and wife lol

Because no one asks a man most of the time. When we get a chance from someone who actually communicated with us, there is a floodgate's worth of stuff behind it.

My condolences 😢

Well damn... sorry for your loss

He’s an idiot for assuming things aren’t that bad in this time and age.

Sometimes we should keep our mouths shut. Sorry for your loss🎉

I hate when strangers ask me to smile or pick my head up.

What does this mean? What comedians?

@MrTekniqs the "Rogan Six" so to speak.

Maybe they should stop bitching about being cancelled and start being funny again That is if they were ever funny to begin with, I have no solutions for Bill Maher unfortunately

And, it's all hilarious!! 😂

It's because his jokes don't involve ONLY punching at other people and these are situations we all hear about, so it makes him a much better comedian than someone who sits around trying to be edgy

😂😂😂😂😂

i was on a walk around my neighborhood doing this, trying not to laugh like a lunatic all by myself LOL. i knew then that i'd just hafta save these for home LOL

That's rude.She could have asked how you're doing😂

​@@unanuevapecula She was afraid Celine would answer honestly. 🤣😂😅😆🤣

Cereal bits flew from my mouth!!!😂😂😂

Well I ain't fucking great, I'm here, aren't I?

😂😂😂 you should have.

The medical staff isn’t asking a rhetorical question, you need to answer truthfully.

I always say…”I’ve been better. That’s why I’m here.😉”

I am usually very upbeat and bubbly (which is weird considering I am extremely introverted), so when I arrive at my doctor's office, I answer honestly how I'm doing, but in a cheerful voice. If you didn't know me, it might be confusing. Them: "Hey there, Braxstine. How are you today?" Me: "Chile, I'm pretty sure I died on the way here so you may want to check my pulse quickly!"

I agree. It felt so sweet. Like somebody cared. It touched our damaged inner child

Elmo doesn’t judge.

My favorite line in the whole set

"From the shadows" 😂

"He's having a very particular life" was the one for me.

And that post led to Elmo getting beat by Larry David

I work in the wine world. Send help.

They call that a Kovenant of Karens

@@Ace-gi4bpim stealing this one 😂

"FRENCH FRIES?"

​@Dzokhar I'm sorry, that's a terminal condition in that profession. All we can offer is palliative care for you, you poor soul

I saw that on TikTok and that story is wild. I was happy to see Stanley itself support her, but those cups are just too damn expensive frfr

Not only that, the ice inside was completely unmelted

The weird thing about that story though is that the plastic parts weren't melted. Like not even the straw. I'm not saying it is impossible, just kinda sus.

@cristyablad I noticed that as well but I didn't question it... I didn't know it it was plastic or painted but the straw not melted is definitely suspicious

@@cristyablad that is sus, could have been a publicity stunt. Who knows tho🤷‍♀️

Burnt on the outside, frozen in the middle..so it balances out

Never make eye contact in the break room and eat fast like a soldier😂

He reached back somewhere for that hot pocket bit lmao

@@AStrangeWindmillmf was reliving that

Elmo's been doing this for decades, how is he 3 years old?

​@@nousername191He's 3 years in muppet years obviously

😂😂😂 6:48 ☠️☠️☠️

Jesus 😢

Well you need another "M" worldview to fill the gap. Marxism

As a white man on behalf of white women I really don't think we or they accept them. I've decided to refer to them as "Stanley people" or "Stans" for short

I've been using them before they were cool. I'm like the old man running a coffee shop in Brooklyn in 2006.

I haven't had one yet, and with those, the price won't ever have one. I'm good with my 9 to 12 dollar metal ones. As a woman, I lug around enough shit(for my kid) already without adding on a giant cup to the mix. If they bully her for not having one, she fight back lol because yeah no.

Reusable plastic bottles for me.

He's not wrong.

I see Stanley Cup and I think of Lord Stanley and so when did all these women get into hockey? Did Taylor Swift start dating a hockey player? Those things look ridiculous.

Right😂

Never heard of them before now.

That's what I thought.. totally confused. I thought they were commemorative cups 😂😂😂

LMAOOOOOO 😂🤣😂🤣 Same!!

I'm one of those people that strangers feel like they can tell their business to just randomly. There's a lot of stuff that we can and should be able to talk to each other about. There's a lot of stuff that people need to be able to talk to a mental health provider about.

@@bec7080 , I understand that sometimes it's frustrating when a complete stranger starts vomiting their feelings onto you, especially when you're in a hurry and just trying to get your groceries and get home or whatever. In fact I've had moments when I feel highly uncomfortable because somebody comes up to me and just starts sharing stuff with me and I feel seriously awkward and have no idea how to respond to that, but I honestly try my best to just listen. I can totally see both sides to this whole thing, but mental healthcare isn't cheap and in my area it's extremely difficult to even get in to see a mental healthcare care professional. They're literally booking 3 to 6 months in advance. So instead of being able to see someone in afew days or next week, you have to wait 3 to 6 months! ☹️

The Federation does not tolerate dissent, you are being assigned to Prison Colony Praxus VII- Would you like to know more?

Sure, but there is a time and place for everything. People have boundaries that we don't know. We can't assume what topics are safe for others to hear, and we can't assume that they were okay or CONSENTED to hear that information in the first place. Yes, we as a society are struggling mentally, but the first step isn't telling someone your entire life struggle. It's a lot more nuanced than that. What needs to happen is to allow more accessable safe spaces for people to vent, but not on the Internet. The Internet makes us feel isolated and forces us to see a very small window of people's lives with very little context. The Internet has become a very strong source of filtered bullshit with little honesty. This is going to sound awful and really pretentious, but I swear stepping outside and getting off your phones helps you learn how to 1) process your struggles without the opinions and influence of the internet, 2) Not be as paranoid of the world around you, and 3) helps you become selfish with context. What I mean is that you learn to become more aware of what helps you and what self-care is for you, and helps you become more aware of others. What that looks like is something similar to this quick dialogue conversation: A: How're you doing today? B: Eh, could be better A: I'm sorry to hear that, I hope things get a little easier for you Or something similar to that. As a society, we do need more empathy, but that isn't going to happen when we radically trauma dump to everyone we talk to. It's going to create more anger, loneliness, frustration, and other issues. Like everything in life, black and white rarely exists. Finding a middle ground is important to making real growth

@@mage4423 , there are also mentally ill people who don't understand boundaries and they probably never will. If we reject or ignore those people because of our own boundaries then we're isolating and hurting them. You're very correct that things aren't black and white, but there are lots of gray areas, so having too many strict boundaries could potentially be a mental illness in itself. All I'm saying is, if listening to someone vomit their feelings helps them from striking out in a dangerous and hurtful way, then maybe that's the least we can do for each other. Again, I clearly don't know the answer to this, but I sometimes wonder if all this violence lately is related to people being lonely and feeling unheard?

I have heard that, too

Its cause the collective of a group of girls is a gaggle, like its a murder of crows

The probably appreciated it. As a child I knew everything was not awesome.

@@ContactsNfilterslmao that’s so true. i was young not stupid things were clearly bad

Read children’s books. They already know.

Wasn’t saying kids dont know, was saying i personally havent seen anything aimed at them that actually acknowledges in a way that can offer an actual rebuttal and different perspective on that fact.

Oh, kids already know. Kids are the ones that the world effs up the most. Adults are all concerned with teaching us, but we know - it's our experience. Stop sucking - that'd be great (this isn't aimed at you in particular, just adults in general)

You might be on to something fr…like we’re trapped or something?

​@@nasiamorgan Not trapped, just living the slow, banal, collapse of civilization. People think it will be all fire and brimstone, when actually it's more like a slow, rotting, decay where our greed, self-interest, and hate, slowly grind over our positive characteristics. Rome was not built in a day, but neither did it fall in a day. But it did fall.

​@@Secretgeek2012 yup, this hit the feels.

Hot Take: The Rapture happened in 2012, but nobody realized it, because it didn't happen the way THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD. Now all that's left are the ones who can never be saved or the ones who got saved too little too late, and now we gotta wait for Judgment Day to find out if we go to Heaven or not.

No, it was 2008 when they set off the hadron collider. It sent us into a darker, grittier alternate reality.

White women who care. I'm 1 of the ones who doesn't give a rat's a$$ about it. I just find it weird, & slightly amusing, that so many do.

Laugh 2 keep from crying 😀👍🏾

On a bad day I’ve been known to answer “still upright and breathing.”

"I am here and not crying. Yet."

My earliest experience of grief was hearing that Jim Henson died on the news - 5yo me absolutely lost it ugly crying - not sure how much I understood about death then, but I knew that it might mean no more Muppets or Sesame Street. Then as an adult I found Jim Henson's funeral on RU-vid & more ugly crying.

LMAOOOOOOO 😂🤣😂🤣

I know right!! I can't wait!!

How long do you think he spent practicing that walk in the mirror trying to get it to look just right though 😂🤣😂🤣

How are you doing 😂❤??

I am doing better. God woke me up this morning. And I have been moved from the I CU to the Cardiac floor So my health is improving. How are you doing?

@poundthesecakestraceehayes2842 I, too, am doing much better. I woke up this morning with the activities and the use of my limbs and in my right mind. Still knowing that GOD is worthy to be praised. I speak healing to your body and restoration to your soul. The Peace of GOD that passes all of your understanding to reside in you and the knowledge that the mind in you is also the mind that is in Christ Jesus. The healing stripes that your LORD and Savior Jesus took for your healing are being made perfect in you even now!! Be Encouraged and be strong in the LORD of YOUR GOD ... he's with you even now!! AMEN, my friend. Have a Blessed day!!

@@roniciamattox1890 Thank you for your words this morning. Have a blessed day. I have been entertaining angels unaware. He is so worthy to be praised. Thank you for caring.

Hope you are doing better and out of the hospital!!!❤

Well just 💩 on the rest of us who ended up staying here, why doncha?

@@nmarie822😂 Ikr. It’s not that bad.

I was born and raised in Oregon, but half my family is from Monroe. I've only been there once and we spent most of the time at a lake. It's just crazy to me how flat it is, like we were driving from Baton Rouge and we would go over a bridge and the bridge was the highest point all the way to the horizon in every direction. It still seems wild to me, I don't think I could live somewhere without mountains.

You were a month old you don’t count

I am coming to Arlington and it’s almost sold out here’s the link improvtx.com/arlington/comic/josh+johnson/

So true, as a bank teller you hear some pretty horrific/sad/heartbreaking stories. In a month I had two parents who kids were shot dead. After that I honestly want more irate crazy customers than those parents going through their worst nightmare.🥲 As a bank employee when you suspect DV or abuse ( elderly or kids) we flag it in the system, so when preps come in we don’t share ANY info or process their enquiries Later escalate to LE.

Healthcare too. 😂

Ohhh, that’s why my ex-boss would say that all the time. He was ex-military.

I understand Completely. I went to click it then remembered myself...lol

@@tanisha.r.thomas I did it again! Lol

Trauma dumping + grumpy guy living in a trash can = 😘👌

He has shows in MD and DC.

@@Bizsavvyartist He didn't the last time I looked at the schedule. I'll check again. Thank you!

He was just at the Arlington Drafthouse Cinema last year November/December. Great show!

To be fair they use puppets with kids in mental health appointments pretty regularly

Twitter is free, therapy costs money. But also, something me and my therapist talk about a lot is how people seem more content to try and numb themselves (the constant distraction of social media) because that’s easier and less scary than actually allowing yourself to a knowledge, face, confront and accept your emotions.