What I wish I knew 

What I have been telling people I know for several years is: You Are The Captain Of Your Own Ship. I was 41 and was experiencing some gastrointestinal issues. I went to my doctor and he brushed it off. I wasn’t so certain of his assessment and went to a gastroenterologist on my own. He found a pre-cancerous golf ball sized polyp in my colon. Had I waited until I was fifty to get my first colonoscopy I would have never made it. I saved my life. I am the captain of my ship, not a doctor, not anyone. You can’t count on anyone to save you. You have to save yourself.

I have no clue how these introspective videos are doing with regard to the algorithm, but I've really enjoyed hearing more and more about your inner thoughts, struggles and progress. We're all going through things, evolving and hopefully progressing. Maybe it's due to the fact that I'm about the same age, but it's very therapeutic to listen to others work through their stuff. Thanks for the videos!

My wife and I just got back from a 10 day trip to Paris. Watching your vlog really helped out! Thanks 🙏. Be good✌️

Jay, your intentional living is showing... and it looks good on you. ❤

I've just started therapy with a therapist who specialises in people leaving high control environments and has their own background in the evangelical church. It's not easy and it's hard to convey how deep a lot of the church lessons burrow into your psyche to someone without that experience. Well done for the continuous effort, keep going Jay 😊

Good therapy is not giving you advice. Good therapy is holding up a mirror to yourself. Self-acceptance, flaws, and all should be the goal of therapy. Some days we are great, some we are not. It's ok to be flawed. Just as we accept others with their flaws. It really comes down to kindness and empathy. For ourselves and others. I had a terrible childhood, but the difference between now and then is that I am in control of my decisions and I decide kindness.

Cooper will always show up for you!!!! Please share more about your upbringing. I still bear the scars from growing up in a fundamental Christian family dynamic and often feel alone in surviving (any sort of) a repressive childhood. Your self reflection is an inspiration.

Jay, I guess I've been living under a rock as I just discovered your channel. I'm also an American who has been living here for 5 years (also from Washington state!) and I'm always happy to find RU-vidrs in similar situations, as I feel I can relate to their content. Just wanted to say hey and thanks for putting this stuff out there! Happy to have found your channel!

Ahh, as the saying goes; if I knew then what I know now... It's a life journey for sure. Thank you for sharing.

do yourself a favor and take a trip to the French Alps. Make it a 5 series vlog adventure. Get out of your environment and bring the doggie. Hike, ride the trains and just get some sunshine.

Good morning J☀️thanks again for sharing your life with us. You’re 100% on the right path 👍

Helping yourself does feel like a never ending pointless task most of the time in my experience but in the end it always pays dividends.

Yes, this is how I felt - therapy was going nowhere and I knew that the work was with me - I think it was helpful to have someone point out patterns but the hard work of changing them or keeping promises to myself is with me - obvious, but I originally thought I need this to feel better and eventually just hit a wall

Do the work. 😁 Love. Really relating to your new videos content. Wish I would have known.

Hey Jay, whatever happened to your wheel? That thing was awesome! The history and status of your wheel would be a fun VAD (if you need any ideas 😂)

Wherever you go, thee you are...

I watch these videos for Cooper. Just kidding, Jay. Well, OK, I watch for Cooper and for you.

Good, engaging, reflective video again. To me, there are few things more engaging than to watch someone struggling mightily to become themselves, and succeeding! But I’d like to offer some polite reflections about the ideas of “learning to love yourself” and the need to “feel loved”. I know you really like this idea of “learning to love yourself”, but to me, it sounds far too vague to be useful. Perhaps this is a phase, and you should pass through and graduate as soon as you can? Before, I didn’t love myself, but then I realized that’s bullshit, so, awesome! No more of that! To get there more quickly, I suggest really drilling down on what you mean. I suspect it’s some variant of: “I believed that I was just fundamentally wrong, broken, almost diseased. I believed that my basic desires and dreams made me a bad person, someone no one would accept or even like, let along love.” Why do I suspect that? Because I think it’s a pretty common feeling!!! Gotta get past that shit, yesterday! Obviously toxic thoughts, cannot possibly have any use to anyone. And feeling loved? May I politely suggest: “Meh”. I’d rather feel alive, healthy, free, and vigorous. And that’s coming from a relatively well-adjusted old guy who has a wonderful family. I learned long ago not to care too much about how people feel toward me. Hope for the best, but try not to count on too much. In particular, don’t idealize a woman’s love. Yup, the most awesome thing ever, but wait until you see the HOA fees! They’re a killer! I’m reminded of a fabulous quotation from Socrates, his last dialog before being executed: “No evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death. He and his are not neglected by the gods.” You ARE that good man. Ultimately, that's all you need. Everything follows from that.

4:45 The word ‘selfless’ is so misunderstood and abused honestly.

🍷🧗‍♀️

Everyone is struggle for life. 😰

2:06 I think I’d be great at therapy because I like doing homework and talking about myself. There definitely needs to be more investment in community-led mental health awareness.

Ten years ago is forever ago …

What I Wish I Knew 10 Years Ago: Have an independent source of income.

1:21 Instead of snapping to be thin, I’d want to snap and have people concentrate on their own health rather than comment on people’s waistlines.