What Inappropriate Thing Did You Unknowingly Do As A Child? (r/AskReddit) 

Nobody: That one kid diving into hay: *"FERTILIZATION!"*

“I was at my uncles” Me: SKIP SKIP SKIP

I once told my mother when I hug her as a child “women are really comfy,” I said that with a straight face. And now I realize how inappropriate that is.

My littler sister when she was 4, sang “my anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun” in the middle of church 😭

Literally no one talking about the bathtub babysitter one

One time I found a meat tenderizer in my kitchen drawer and pretended to whack something with it. I yelled “IM BEATING SOME MEAT” my mom just laughed. I have a cool mom.

When I was little, I used to play by myself and pretend and I called it “playing with my body”

Her: “when I was 6-7 me and my friend played house” Me: oh okay Her: “I was the house” Me: 😂🤣

Not me but my friend’s little sister’s dog’s mother’s owner’s uncle’s cousin’s acquaintance’s roomate’s child.

the “booger masterpiece” one made me physically cringe

I remember when I was about 5-6, I was staying at my mums friends house for the night. This woman had like a 20 year old daughter who was away so me and my sister were staying in her room. While my mum was down stairs with her friend, me and my sister decided to go check out our room. While we were messing around I reached down the side of the bed and pulled out this weird rubber stick thing that had buttons. I pressed one and it started vibrating and then started moving in a circle. I laughed and started chasing my sister with it. My mum heard all the commotion and came up stairs to the sight of me chasing my sister with a vibrator. I didn’t realise what it was until many years later

i called my sister marijuana bc i thought it was a word like dummy or something

"FERTILIZATION!" im dying

One time in 7th grade, we were playing a game where we went in a circle and completed the sentence with a word. Depending on where you were in the circle, you had to say a word starting with the next letter in the alphabet. On your turn you would start over, saying the first persons phrase (letter a) and so forth. (First person only says theres, second person says first plus their own and so forth) when it got to my turn, I didnt know what to say because I had the letter k. I had to finish "Gary is a ______ cat". So, me being a very innocent 13 year old said kinky. Gary is a kinky cat. Lets just say I got a few looks after that one.

I stuck up my middle finger at my grandma and said its my favorite finger. She and my mom started cry laughing. I genuinely had no idea. Also why did I have a "favorite finger" bruh

*executed for being ugly* Me: oH SHOO- Edit: What the Hades realm? 4.5K likes?! That's more than all the likes on my videos put together XD

I can imagine the ‘sexy’ one ‘I HATE YOU YOU’RE SO SEXY!!’

So my mom was making homemade burger patties and I watched her shape the meat into patties, at the end of which she gave it a slap. So I just cheer her on and say, "BEAT THAT MEAT, MOM!" she kinda laughed but didn't say anything.

As a 6 year old, I had learned that a word "slut" is a bad word. Seeing it on TV, I had thought that it is a word used for women when they are being bad. One day, a lot of guests were at my parents house and women were laughing out loud because of something Me being the wise guy, I gathered the other kids in front of everyone and said "Look at those sluts laughing" I quickly learned not to say that to a single female ever again

My little cousin used to say “grapes” without the “g”. Needless to say, I kept him away from the produce aisle for a while.

When I was younger my grandma explained to me that our waitress was pregnant and not fat to which I look at the old male owner with a nice beer belly and said loudly, “he is very pregnant just like her”

I used to blow up the “balloons” from my dads drawer

Brother: *You’re Sexy!” Sweet home alabama

i used to think sexy was a name. i loved the name and i asked my mom “why didn’t you name me sexy?”

This video really just: ended. No outro No monument of silence Just. _end_

People who live on earth, what was the most terrifying thing you have ever seen? "Not someone who lives on earth but-"

"He cannot resist that sexy floor" WHEEEEZZZEE

“He cannot resist that sexy floor”

When I was younger, I used to add ‘no offense’ at the beginning of everything! Ex. “No offense, but you’re welcome.” “No offense, I like your hair today!” Why I did it? No clue.

i used to stick up my middle finger in church because it was a “sword”

I would sing “I’m in love with the coco” thinking it meant Coca-Cola or chocolate, it doesn’t 😔

7:33 - “He cannot resist that sexy floor” That’s enough internet for today.

I used to think that an octopus had 8 'testicles' instead of tentacles. I told everyone I met... Edit: Wow, thanks for all the likes!!!

I used to tell people when I was younger that I had a brother who went into the ocean and got ate by a shark..... I made a waitress cry...

When I was like 8 my cousin which is like 15 yrs old..handed me a condom and dared me to ask the cashier "what is this?" Me being the clueless kid that I am guessed that maybe it was a gum or an air conditioner..needless to say I interrupted a line full of educated people and asked loud and clear for the whole shop to hear, "Excuse me ma'am, but do you know what this is?" I never wanna witness the most awkward silence and stares that I got ever again

When I was in first grade, I thought the word “murder” meant bullying. My teacher asks the class “What are some things you should never do in school?” I raise my hand and said “Murder?” XD I mean I guess I wasn’t wrong, but still. I got some awkward stares. Then teach made it worse by saying “...Yyyes, thats correct! And tell me why you shouldn’t do that?” “Because you could get detention and your parents might ground you.” Yyyeah I learned the definition of murder that day.

When I was little (seven or eight), I grabbed a toy ball and said “I LOVE BALLS!” (I’m a female) My older brother laughed for ten minutes straight and I only realized why a few years later.

Whenever somebody pointed the rude finger at me, I yelled "How dare you finger me" thinking that finger meant pointing the finger.

Used to say "hump hump hump" everytime i was mad at my parents. I thought making that sound sounded like you were "sulking"😂😂😂

imagine getting in a fight with ur sibling and then they scream that "YOUR SEXY"

I slapped Chucks Cheese in the ass. Then a ran back to the table. He turned and looked very confused

People would ask "are you itchy" and I'd always every time respond with, "no I'm bitchy"

“My friend and I used to play house” Me: okay yeah I did too doesn’t sound inappropriate to me “My head was the bathroom” I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS BUT IM NOT SURE I WANT THE ANSWERS

I thought a “Birthday Suit” was a fancy outfit that you’d wear on your birthday so I asked my mom if I could wear a Birthday Suit for my birthday. She said no.

*when I was 9 I thought the Japanese food "Pocky" was a drug* Whenever people would say Pocky I was all *DON'T IT'S A DRUG!!* *I don't think Japan likes me*

Are we going to talk about a 14 year old babysitter with a 12 year old boy

me and my brother used to play “torture” i was like six and he was 10-12. I would go up against the wall and he would come up behind me. im so glad we stopped.

Mixed up the term “all-nighter” and “one-night stand”

One time when I was little I was mad at my parents and I told them to stop “eating me out” and they started laughing and I didn’t know why but I meant “chewing me out”

Uhh well when I was little I used to pronounce “cake” as “co*k” pretty cool childhood. Especially at birthday party’s 😎

Lil Bro: I HATE YOU YOU'RE SO SEXY. Me: Well yes, but actually no.

I hope that one that executed the dolls didn't turn into a serial killer

My teacher spent ages convincing me that I really shouldn't name my first born daughter "Chlamydia".

When I was a child nearly 5-6, my parents used to watch animal planet with us because they thought watching animals was appropriate with family(me and my older brother). Until one day, there was a mating scene of monkeys. I don't know why but I screamed, *"Nice dance, I want to learn it too."* My father chocked on his water and my mother was giving me a stare. We stopped watching animal planet after that. It took me freaking 8 years to realize what was wrong.

All I’m seeing is being the next door neighbor to the kid yelling fertilization

No one: Literally nobody: Not even an atom: Random voice in the distance: F E R T I L I Z A T I O N

I used to call my black neighbor who was a good friend to the family "chocolate uncle"

When I was younger, I thought that French kissing meant to kiss someone on the cheeks ( like Persian grandmas do). One day before I went to bed I asked my dad “ want to French kiss?”, the look on his face was so horrifying!Well, to this day I still get so embarrassed from this.

Y'all had me at "Doesn't matter where he is, he just couldn't stand that sexy floor. It's gotten to the point where his parents would reward him for not humping the floor" 7:33

I would actually be very proud of the kid yelling "FERTILIZATION!" in the haystack. Smart kid

i used to always call “math” “meth” whenever we took our math notebooks out in elementary...

The story of dolls executed for being ugly cracked me up .😂

when imitating penguins i would say in a nasally voice “wank wank wank”

When I was little I would always play with my two pitbulls, I would let them mount on top of me because I thought we were playing leap frog. Another memory is I always thought the bird dodo bird was pronounced dildo bird ..and nobody ever corrected me on it ...

When I saw somebody who was tall as a kid I’d say “why are you so high” and if it were an adult they would glare at me

i thought 'gang bang' meant just 2 gangs fighting when i was like 9. One night my parents took me to a restaurant with friends of them and afterwards we where walking back in a group while another group was walking our way. So i yelled out 'its time for a gang bang'!

One time when I was about 7 I went around church calling people gay for a reason I can't remember. My grandmother was not amused.

I used to scream "he ate her out" everytime I saw a couple on TV kiss because I heard my older cousins talking about it and completely misunderstood

ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE BATHTUB STORY😬

When I was 2 my dad had a friend who was black and I had never seen someone like that I called him the Shadow man They didn't mind though they though it was funny

When I was younger I thought “Virgin” meant you hadn’t been in a relationship. So at school, when one guy started “dating” a girl and he announced it at recess, I stood at the top of the slide and yelled, at the top of my lungs: “DONT TRY CLAIMING YOU ARE A VIRGIN”

Backstory: I was a supper protected child. I didn't know the f word til I was 10, same with other things like periods. I barely knew any curse words until I was 9/10 and even then I didn't really know their definitions. So I was maybe 6 or 7, and everyone in my family was watching "The Martian". There was captions on the TV, so I could see what they were saying. In one part, everything was going wrong on a space mission or something. The main guy said "Holy sh*t" and I, not knowing that was a bad word, repeated him. Everyone started laughing and I was so confused. I ended up leaving the room, and I remember being upset, but now I just look back and laugh.

I can't be the only one that ran around with spoons saying " I'm gonna spoon you "

I would put my tongue between my two fingers because I thought it was just a cute way to do the peace sign

When I was 8, I had a cat called Simon, who I used to call “Semen” because I thought it was French for Simon. I never understood why my mum always used to bribe me to be quiet whenever I “”decided”” he was French

When I was younger, me, my sister, and two brothers were convinced that we were in a zombie apocalypse (long story, but we were in a kids play area of a gym) To fight off the zombies we banned together as super heroes. And we called ourselves the Fearsome Foursome 💀

When I was a toddler, I wasn't very good at recognizing faces outside of my immediate family (mom, dad, and sister). We lived in a small apartment, and when my parents had to work, they'd leave us with our neighbor, who was a sweet old lady. I spent about half a year thinking that she was our neighbor, and I called her by using the nickname my sister did (Pip). When I heard my mom call the old lady "Mom" I realized that she was my grandma xD

Had some cars shoes. (Lightning McQueen type) Ran around my store screaming "MOM IM ON SPEED"

tongued my parents cause i thought french kissing was a funny stupid thing

When I was in Ross, I walked past a little kid that yelled out to her dad " he's not black he's brown!". She said it like 3 times while her dad kept telling her to shut up and apologized lol

My black friend called me milk (I'm not even white) so then I called her chocolate. We were 6.

I have a story So I was about 5 years old. My cousin who was about 11 and my older brother who was 9 would always tease me because one day at summer camp I was with them and they said something along the lines of "being a male stripper is super cool" so I said back something like "what's a male stripper" they replied "it the best job to have" so whenever a camp counselor would ask me what I wanted to be when a grew up I said "a male stripper" and the camp counselors would look so confused and disgusted. I'm 19 now and to my brother and my older cousin I'm still known as "the boy who wanted to be a male stripper from kindergarten".....

“He just can not resist that sexy floor” I can’t 😂😂😂

My little sister got a phone when she was 6 and always used the most cringiest emojis. it was weird but one day she was getting tired of the emojis she used so she ventured out to find new ones. She stumbled across the food row and out of all the food emojis, she had to pick the eggplant one. I still cringe about that one

“Not inappropriate, not a child, and it wasn’t me, but...”

as a small child my first time seeing a muslim.... "BLANKET NINJAS!!!!!!!"

When people said, “what are you doing?” I would yell, “IM DOING YOU!” And then walk away screaming HUMP HUMP HUMP.

Not really "inappropriate" but still funny: When I was 3 we were in the store. I guy with a ponytail walked by and I looked at my mom and said loudly, "Why does that man have girl hair?" I've never seen her get us out of a grocery store so fast-

I used to mix up the words virgin from vegan when I was little and went around my neighborhood yelling “IM NOT A VIRGIN!”

When my teachers would tell my class to hold up one finger I’d hold up my middle finger 💀

When I was 4-6 I use to yell 'double cheeseburger' as I slapped my butt in front of my grandmas+

I had this weird obsession with pulling everyone's pants down when I was really little, I still cringe when I remember it

"executed for being ugly" Anna Of Cleves: im sorry what

I remember a while ago when my (girl) cousin was over. She fell and screamed "OW, MY TESTICLES!" I found this very funny

My female English teacher asked me for a simile and I said, "I'm as hard as a rock." I realised what I had said after and two of my friends in front of me were joining me in having our heads in our hands as we cried out laughing.

When I was 4 I made up a dance called the "tushie dance." I always did it in front of people, so they obviously laughed. Now, since my parents had recorded it (NOT IN A BAD WAY, BUT TO LAUGH ABOUT LATER), I realized how inappropriate shaking my arse at random people is. I would say something like, "now I will perform the tushie dance." Very enlightening.

Flipped off my music teacher to her face, in 5th grade. Didn’t know what it meant, got away with it.

“I want to go to an orgy!” I haven’t laughed this hard in a while omfg 😂😂

When I was younger I used to watch that guy who catches mistakes in movies and makes fun of the character and I was watching the frozen one and he’s like “a virgin a fat guy and a snowman” well I then went into the kitchen and said “IM NOT A VIRGIN” I swear I have everybody a heart attack

One time when I was like 5, me and my dad were at Texas Roadhouse, and I said I had to go to the bathroom and like five mins later, a waiter came and got my dad and said "your daughter is putting soap on the bathroom stalls" he came and got me, and then I said I have to go again, another five mins later and the waiter comes again and this time says "your daughter is running around *naked* in the bathroom" my dad came and got me and we just ate our food and left. *Good times*