LISTEN to Craig people! Both he and Margaret are actually QUALIFIED therapists with a combined experience between them longer than most of us have been alive. DO NOT pay attention to other channels such as Chris Seiter who recommends IGNORING your ex when they reach out (why ignore them when they are actively coming forward?!) and advocates a 30-60 day no contact rule as if something magically happens after 30 days. If you ex truly wants you they will contact YOU you certainly don’t need to “remind” them on day 30 you exist. Listen to Craig this is genuinely the best channel because it’s about self improvement and making relationships better and understanding why you muck them up not just snake oil and tricks to manipulate like other lesser quality channels.
I actually begin to understand that these life coaches are not qualified to give relationship advises. I was used to watching tony gaskins and found myself having a very bad and angry mindset about men in general. I trust scientific topics like all the attachment styles and people like Craig Kenneth who really give amazing advice and help you to improve yourself instead of pointing fingers!
Completely agree that the ignoring your ex rule is ridiculous! I mean you aren’t showing yourself in a good light if you are going to ignore them and will come across as petty. I know people are afraid of falling into the friend zone if an ex reaches out, myself included but I don’t think ignoring them if they contact you Is the right response
Craig and Margaret are wonderful pioneers. They are filled with incredible wisdom and enlightenment. Chris Seiter, Luccia, Clay Andrew, Love Advice TV, Brad Browning are all obtuse and oblivious. Stay away
@@psychicmatchmaker9204 they are terrible, I listened to clay Andrew’s to try and build a connection with my ex but me be reaching out even though he was responsive etc, it’s best to let your ex come to you and respond when they reach out, regardless as to how casual it is
@@MrCjchamp to be honest I am properly moving on now as for the last three to four months in the breakup I felt like I was being strung along as he kept in contact and I thought he wanted to rekindle things but I was wrong so I cut it off as he only wanted to be friends and I’m trying to properly move on now, thank you though!
@@CoachCraigKenneth What happened to the video, ''Finding a secure Partner''? That video was wonderful but came to an untimely end. And this video like the many others are awesome.
@@coachvictoria6405 thank you for the update and I personally want to welcome you to the team and I also wanna thank all of you because now, psychology has become my passion which I'll pursue at the tertiary level. You guys have thought me a lot and I conclude so many things which you guys made videos backing, so that only gives me more confidence that I'm on the right track and that my inner compass is awesome. Thanks again and stay safe 💜
If they don't come around after a few months and you have been working on yourself they obviously don't care. Move on, keep working on yourself and find someone else that can appreciate you. Many dumpers are too quick to give up on people or not even give them a second chance. Ask yourself...do I really want someone who gives up so easily? You are better than that!!
Exes do come back guys. You have to allow time with no contact for them to come back. Let the room clear. It literally just happened to me. I'm getting out of a recent relationship, and my ex from 2 years ago, pops up with a text apologizing to me from things that happened during the period of time we were together.
1 month of no contact she came back, I gave it another shot until I found out she was talking to someone behind my back. I’m working on me snd don’t need her, I know my worth and how good I was to her. It’s her loss, not mine. I’m on my own path now. Thanks coaches for all the vids
8 months later, no contact etc. And I feel at peace, I’ve realised my failure in the relationship and I’m okay with me. I’ve done the work and I don’t want my ex back. It’s a journey but y’all keep at it! You’ll come to a realisation one way or another over one thing or another x
Sometimes exes just give up and that’s on them nothing to do with us. So stay strong and know that you have what you did when you did and don’t blame yourself.
From my experience, exes come back if you both have a base together which is a real friendship. If u were his / her best friend , they would come back . besides if u both felt that the sex is different than other relations u had before, he/she will come back. Those two elements are most important in my opinion.
That's not true. My ex and I was together for almost 4 years. She was my best friend, lover, ole lady and the mother to our two year old son. I shared everything with her and when I'd come In from work she would gossip to me and tell me everything about her. Our sex was absolutely amazing and numerous times over 4 years she would tell me during sex that I was "made and fit" for her so perfectly. She and I both shared a connection that neither of us had ever felt. I'm 33 and she will be 40 this month. She also said after breaking my heart that she knew I loved her and loved her more than anyone else she had ever been with. I hit a rough spot In my life and became depressed and that's when she decided she had enough. She kicked me out the day after Christmas and hasn't looked back since. I really wish what you said was true but It's not unfortunately. At first I wanted her and our family back but I just can't be with someone who let me sleep In my car freezing my nuts off while she slept comfortably In her home and bed. I am confident when I say this though... Every guy In her life from birth until we met I can say that only two men ever really loved and cared about her. Myself and her grandfather. Everyone else just used her, beat her and abused her. I am her best option. I have absolutely no doubt at all about that. I just lost my way a little In the relationship. As the saying goes... I know what I bring to the table and I'm not afraid to eat alone. I worked and let her stay at home for 3 years while she was pregnant and to be a stay at home Mom and I was proud and happy to do that. I truly believe she and I where soulmates though. My heart still feels connected to hers even after a little over two months and something Inside of me keeps saying "It's not over and she'll be back". No matter what I tell myself that voice keeps popping up.
@@XxJustinxx88 I hope you're coping well. Just give this some time and work on improving yourself, especially on your depression. I do believe that if you both shared something amazing together, then it's very likely that they will not forget you that easily and will want to return, granted that you seem like a changed person. I think the "grass is greener" syndrome will most likely bring your ex back to you, because chances are it will be very hard to her to find someone to replace you. But the key is to be patient, don't think about her and just focus on working on yourself. Wish you all the best.
@@yihaw149 Thank you so much for your very kind words. I bought the workbooks and have been working on them when I get off of work every morning. My heart still aches and longs for her and my son. I have to go to her house to see my son twice a week. Coincidentally last month she picked Valentine's Day as a day for me to come and then Friday Is her birthday and that's also the day she picked for me to come and see my son. It's weird. I've asked to work things out and she brings up things I said out of anger like 3 years ago. She tries to act like she doesn't care but last week I stopped by the store and this really pretty woman started talking to me. Apparently my ex rode by and seen It. The next day I went to see my son and she cooked for me. That's the first time since we split. She made my plate and brought It to me and then said she had seen me talking to a woman at the store. She acted mad. When I call and talk to my son on the phone sometimes she gets the phone and talks about what's going on etc. Still has our pictures on her FB and I'm still blocked. I have decided to move on and whatever happens just happens. Thank you.
@@alannajm Yeah she tried coming back about 3 weeks ago but I declined. I had purchased the workbooks worked my way through them and realized that over the entire relationship she had made everything my fault. I've decided to throw myself Into my career and knock off a few bucket list Items before my next relationship. Funny how they go from certainly over you to let's give this another shot.
Guys, almost nine months after breakup I can totally support Vicky's words: work on yourself slowly and step by step. For me it was about keeping moving forward with my work, my personal goal and life responsibilities. This moving was through pain and sadness. Step by step repeating Margaret's affirmation: I am proud of myself for getting through this day. I am fine now and actually very proud of what has been done during this time. For myself and for people who choose to be in my life.
My ex is an avoidant, hopefully she sees I am her best option. I put in so much work to improve my toxic behavior, not for her, but for myself. I am proud of myself.
Victoria is so great and complimentary to the vibe of the videos. She fits in so well & speaks to the soul. She speaks as if shes in my exact same position ♥️
The three of you make an excellent team, complementing each other very well. Margaret is, of course, a star, albeit one momentarily out of view. Your faith in the persistence of connection is heartening, as is your encouragement to establish a healthy axis through work and self-improvement.
I can't tell you how important working on the issues during the NC time, is. I did NC during the first split. Just kind of moped around and didn't take action on the issues (how to avoid us being in a long distance relationship). She eventually reached back out to me, we talked for about another 6 months, but nothing had changed. And here we are back in no contact. This time I'm coming up with a plan (to fix the long distance situation), that if she does reach out at some point, at least I've taken action and have considered the issues that caused the split the first place.
So, it's been roughly 9 months now, not a peep, nothing, still blocked checked for the first time in months. I'm so happy for everyone who've got a second chance with their ex's but for me there is zero chance and I'm reaching the point when I'm ready to let go of having one. I'm continuing to do the work but I can't keep feeling like this anymore. Only I would find the one girl I wanted to marry and lose her and never get a second chance. I've begun dating again reluctantly. Wishing you all the best, maybe I'll have a success story. But for now I'm just doing the work.
I've been broken up with my ex for 3 years now, and I think about giving up every day..so I'm right there with you. Best thing I've done is pick a goal that's obtainable develop not just a habit of achieving that goals but deeper than that. 2 Keyword words tunnel vision.
It took him 4 full years to notice the grass isn't greener and to slowly start coming back around... while I just found a new partner I'm serious with.. I'm now feeling very torn between these two, but knowing which of them is the better pick when the feelings for both are so strong
If u got dumped and it took a person 4 years to come back, choose your new partner. If someone really cares it would not take them that long to even wonder about you. Choose the one that is going to stick with you when times get hard. And that's clearly not your former partner.
@@jahleelx9270 Well, I'm on and off with the new partner since October, so I start doubting he's the right one :) I've been fighting for the other ex back for years and it's sad that it's only working now!
@@lenaschaef6714 it's only working now because he sees that the grass isn't greener and doesn't want u to move on to something better. If he came back a year later I would consider it but four years later, that's too long of a time and shows he doesn't actually care about you.
My ex took a little over 3 years of no contact to reach out and try to get back with me... I was with another woman at that time, so I had to turn her down.
Officially hit 6 months of no contact. I definitely feel better than I did the first month or so. But some days are easier than others. Sometimes I don’t even think about him at all but then other times he’s constantly on my mind...
Wow I'm around 1 year now and I'm still not sure if I have spent a single day without her crawling into my thoughts. In the past two months I had someone distract me of her, but I think I still thought about her at least 5 minutes per day. Especially when trying to sleep. That's the worst time of day. So if you've had times you didn't even think of your ex at the 6th month, you're doing great!
Coach Victoria is getting better and better! 😄 Hearing all these things reminds me the first time I saw Coach Craig, heartbroken and looking for some guide.
2 months no contact. Apart from noticing an unblocking from my ex on Instagram though my profile was hidden originally. Now she can see whatever. I've taken more time to focus on myself to learn. To look back at my issues. My childhood. Buying books. Doing therapy. Even these videos have been a massive help! The point Vicky said about her ex boyfriend being musicians, and he seemed to have took off on his own was quite inspiring. My ex knew I wanted to learn to fly. This has been a thing for years for me. Since a child, but more recent years and last year I said I was gonna do it asap. Though not with my ex, I start in April this year. I'm absolutely excited and proud to say I'm taking a big step for myself and the stones to even do such thing. But I certainly hope that it inspires her that I am a guy true to my word!
Been 6 months and iv reached out in December. Got nothing back but a big bag of silence. I’m struggling to let go and I have a voice in my head telling me just to reach out again. And how much I love her. But I have to stay strong it’s her move this time. 💪🏼
Hi Coach Craig! Just a request, maybe in future would you like to discuss about the psychology of short term relationships? I believe it would be insightful, as those of us with short term relationship has less to hang on to when trying to get an ex back. Hopefully you can discuss and guide us on short term relationship break ups🙏🏻
You guys are like my Jeannie's without the bottle! It's amazing how you listen and study and relive the childhood memories and learn about yourself and then boom, it happens! The indirect direct approach. 5 years Coach, I FINALLY left him alone, focused on myself, started moving on, well did move on, and then here it came. "The" one, the one email I've waited 5 years to see. I didn't think it would happen but it did. So much satisfaction in knowing you could take him or leave him at this point and know you're going to be okay either way. I cannot if I spent the rest of my life trying, thank you guys enough. Happy Easter as well.
Its been 11 months since the breakup, Im starting to believe she wasnt even that attached to begin with. We lasted for like what, 9 months? Lol. I'm at peace but these videos sometimes do make me push forward more and more. Thanks Craig, for everything
im currently on 13 days no contact, this is our second break up so i highly doubt he'll come back. i dont know, time will tell but i hope in a few months i can look back and be like wow i didnt break no contact im doing well and im happy. im just honestly excited about meeting new friends, graduating and travelling. thats all i want in the future.
My wife and I have been married over 8yrs but she left last July and I have not seen her since. She dealt with a death in the family and we have had very little contact. BUT I have been the one to reach out and send occasional emails etc. now after 8 months I know I just have to leave it be and go full no contact. I regret I didn’t do more of it earlier. I agree with comments below that you can’t put a timeframe on it. I am quite sure she is done with me as her conduct before we split spoke volumes. I can attest to the fact that it has ruined my emotional state reaching out to her, she says she wants to meet but doesn’t follow through. While I won’t ignore her if she reaches out. I am done doing the reaching and hurting myself while being ignored by her. Onwards and upwards!!
I needed this one. It will be 3 months of NC. I have made a LOT of changes since. Got a better job, went back to school, working out more often, doing the workbooks, etc. I stopped bargaining and accept it had to happen this way because I honestly wasn't happy with where my life was and quit doing the work while me and my ex were together. I see his issues and his attachment style also (avoidant) and quit blaming myself for everything falling apart. But I'm in the acceptance stage. I want to believe I will hear from him again. We only dated a few months, though, so I'm not so sure. Sadly, it was one of the healthier relationships I've had so I feel it makes getting over him much more difficult.
4 weeks of no contract and 2 months of not physically seeing each other... It hurts but I am day 22 of jogging and looking after myself. Its hard as he lives in the next road and right opposite my friend so 1 day ill see him and it will be then that will show me how strong I can be.. Thank you for your videos this has helped 🙏🙏
@@CoachCraigKenneth theyre great so far! I think I'm starting to understand that things ended because of my anxiety. Hopefully he will open up to the idea of contacting me so I can truly see if I've changed for the better. Its only been about 4 months so who knows haha
Why does it take a break up for us to get back to our hobbies or things of interest??? I’m getting into running events and reading. Things I’ve always wanted to do but never cared for! Its a positive step regardless. All the best to you and your career.
My ex pretty much just told me that we need to split up because I was never around for her despite numerous times I've asked and asked if she'd want to do something together and she'd just rather go to work
Always Mr. Clutch. Craig is the 🐐. Perfect timing . Life is about choices so be careful what you choose dumpers lol 😂 grass ain't always greener on the other side . We will get through this guys. 1 day at a time .
This is the biggest mistake that people make they think the grass is greener on the other side....the truth is yours can also be greener if you water n take care of it
I could only be my authentic self and she loved me for who I was, but she recognized her need to deal with her own struggles with her ex husband. All I can do is pray for her and strengthen myself for if she does come back. I don’t know if she’ll come back, but I do know that she’ll know what we had and the good thing she walked away from.
Never go back to an ex. It's time better spent cultivating a new relationship than going back to something that didn't work. Also, it's OK to be alone. You don't need that other person to validate you or bring happiness.
He never had any complaints he said I was alright the way I am. He still ended it out of the blue with no explanation. It was not on me and I do not take this personally. He’s work to do and we will probably never see each other again. He never let me into his life, no social media, no personal objects left in his house, no friends in common.
I seriously seriously SERIOUSLY doubt my ex is feeling bad or sad about it! Just putting that out there. If I’m feeling blah about it after 2 months I swear he is too! 😒.
Years ago a boyfriend tossed me aside because his "mommy" interfered but after she passed away he wanted to get together again and I told him it was more likely to snow in hell.....and I've never regretted it.
Even if you work on the issues, it's still very easy to fall back to old habits and patterns with an ex so I personally don't see the point to go back. I rather break the habits and patterns and be with someone else.
Agree. It’s exciting at the prospect of who you can meet next and leave the negativity of the ex behind. I met up with an ex a few times after a mini break and it didn’t take much to slip back into feeling stressed and anxious. Not worth it. Move on!!! Good luck to you.
The difference is, I am the one who is crying, did nothing wrong, then get blamed how I am to react to their mistakes, and I am not to feel anything?! When I'm always the one left behind. So I only speak out to get those emotions out at them or to the recent breakup to get out what I am feeling what she had caused the pain on me.
My ex went back to her ex after being with me for 5 years. Blocked me even though i didnt push. Basically threw me in the trash. He recently seperated from his wife, they are still married. He makes half what i do and has 2 kids. Cherry on top is she left him 5 years ago because he cheated on her. And that damaged her badly, trust me i saw the deep wound and insecurity it gave her durring our 5 years together. On paper i was better for her in almost every way. Ive really just given up at this point. No matter whatyou do for someone or how much effort you put in they would rather go back to garbage. Makes me feel like i was the worst boyfriend ever somehow. That really makes me not want to ever put that energy into someone again.
Hey Brandon, don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes people have this unhealthy perception of love and they are constantly attracted to that. Somehow being with that type of love is how they feel most comfortable. Unfortunately for you this might be the case.
My Ex (Avoidant), who broke up with me in the end of March 21 by phone, just called on day 138 of no contact. Not exactly direct, but asking if we could get back in contact...I''m just not sure what he wants now...still waiting until he makes it more clear. I told him when he broke it off back in march, i didn't want to be friends...so I hope that is not all he can do.
He really had his claws into me and refused to divorce me until i told him that i cancelled my life insurance, then i got dropped like a hot brick, we're now divorced and iv blocked him on social media, theres no contact at all
You know what's more stronger than love and attachment, parental/family control... 😒 Not trying to be a mood killer. Buuuuuuuuuuttttttt like you said "secret loyalties"
How long does it take for them to feel separation anxiety? It’s been 9 months since the breakup and 5 months NC😞 some days are harder than others.. hate feeling this way!
its been 3 monts after the break up..she wants to stay friends...i want friends with benefitts...we been 1 year together...i miss her..but i know its toxic...i think i hit dead end....
My ex walked away from me and he didnt even tell me he wasnt coming back. He didnt even tell me that he didnt love me or want to be with me anymore... no explaination, nothing. So i ended up going for divorce
8 weeks after my breakup and I just had a relapse. Woke up from a nap and had a small dream about me and my ex girlfriend making out. I still get scared that she won’t reach out in the future
My ex wife and I have been apart for 20 years, but we’ve started to reconnect. We’ve spent a lot of time together, even spent the night together several times (no sex), just sleeping together. I still love her, but not sure how she feels, although she said she’s not where I am yet. She remarried and had two kids, but has been separated for a few years. I’m really confused.
What if an ex's mentality is "an ex is an ex for a reason and never go back"?...I would like to change her mentality as I still love her.I am broken without her or her sons in my life.But I am blocked everywhere and she has not reached out...6 months since she dumped me and over 6 year relationship gone to waste :( she has dated two people since...the first one failed as the grass was not greener...the second one she has been seeing about a month...it hurts :(
Coach Craig, would you consider doing one on breaking up after an argument that came unexpectedly when both people had a bad day with work family issues & took it out on each other when otherwise a goof relationship Thanks
Andy, we had a very good relationship & friendship, not every break up is because of issues in a relationship, there can & were outside things that gave us both a very stressful day & unfortunately we ended up with a silly argument
I really wish I had listened to these videos earlier!!! Ughh! I listened to another coach about ‘building a connection with your ex’.. and when my ex clearly said he needs some time, I started being there as ‘a friend’. It seemed good at first, but then he started pulling away as he started feeling like me being around was a reminder he needs to make a decision, and he told me that he thought it through and he doesn’t feel it, and doesn’t wanna hurt me anymore. So I stepped back by sending a letter. A month later I find out during the time I sent the letter he started talking to another girl.... I now realise I pressurised and pushed him into the stage he is in now. And seeing him with this other girl has gotten me back to square 1 😞
Craig, years ago when I was travelling Australia I didn’t give her attention as I was investing heavily in cryptocurrency. I said I’m doing this for us both, she said your not putting any effort into this relationship it’s all going into this crypto. She would finish work and I was always investing and on my laptop. I feel bad but I now have hundreds of thousands of profit and crypto has changed my life. I lost her but financially I’m free. I wish she realised I did this for us both, it hurts as she’s still with the guy she left me for. but now I’m enjoying it solo and going to travel the world, still miss her though and its been 5 years.
Some women want money + your attention, some want more your attention than money, have you ever considered this fact that maybe she want your attention more than finances, and try to mend things, just thinking 😐
I’ve written about when some of us that have been in LDR’s And the Covid Non travel situation How do we cope with this ? I really think this would be a great video!
Its seems like they are more happy without you in social Media. Posting trips, having fun, positive quotes like they are having the perfect time without you( it could be true)
Question... At what point do we have nothing to lose by reaching out? I'm 30 days into no contact (relationship ended 2 months ago). I recently learned about attachment styles, and through doing so, I feel I now understand why she did (and didn't do) certain things during our relationship. Do you see any harm in sending a pre-recorded video message at about day 50 or 60 of no contact, that demonstrates 1) I'm happy and accept the breakup and 2) I have a new understanding/perspective of things now and I wish her well... The relationship she had before me was abusive, and when we got close, I didn't understand why she was pushing me away. Learning that she is a fearful avoidant, I now get it.
I would recommend watching his other videos. No contact means no contact unless she reaches out to you. However, it's great that you have educated yourself ! i really wouldn't recommend a video from a woman's perspective it could be interpreted badly.
4 weeks of no contact, going strong and working on myself everyday, the urge is always there to text her but as each day goes along the easier it does get ill tell you that, I hope she reaches out in easter break
Can you make a video to explain why an ex can be flirting intensely with you in person. Then blocks you out of no where when you hang here messaged them or bothered them at all? My ex and I had a wonderful week the week before last. And we’ve been progressing over three months. Then he went on vacation this past week. Half way in he blocked me. It does not make sense because I didn’t bother him. I was just minding my own business living my own life. He does have a girlfriend but I feel like he must not be happy if he’s carrying on with me in the ways that he does. Even our coworkers have started intervening because we’re having a hard time making something happen. He comes back tonight and I’m so upset and don’t know if I should act like I don’t care? I have done massive work on myself the two and a half years since we broke up and I know that’s what has caused him to start coming back toward me .
It would be interesting if you could talk about when the dumper tells themselves "its better like this so i dont hurt them like ive been hurt, they deserve someone beter, im not meant to be with anyone, i dont eant to bring them down with me" this is how my ex ended things and i wish i could understand more about why they feel this way and if theres a chance they ever change their mind and reach out even though they believe that the breakup was better for the dumpee.
Please can you do more LDR splits? It's very hard for me right now. After 5 weeks n.c. we spoke last week, 30 min nice light hearted phone call and he said before we rung off "ring or text me whenever you like".....I havent, but in 5 days he's not text me soooo, no idea where or what to do from here?.......
My ex claimed he could easily forget about me. I didn't reply to that. I am not imposing myself at all on him. I doubt he feels any sense of responsibility. I am still great friends with his son. Not because I am hoping ex will change but son is a wonderful person.
Hey Craig, loved this video! Can you do a video about my ex ending things because he got a job in another state and isn't willing to do long distance. I will appreciate it 🙏
My Boyfriend broke up with me and it hasnt been easy i really miss him alot.Its almost 2 months of no contact at all wanting to contact him,call him but iam really trying my best not to.
They won't know you have changed if they don want t you to contact them So you should do it for yourself and not plan on them coming back. I feel back in the same patterns. How do you stay in a secure attachment? I might be sabotaging by trying tp convincing him to call me and spend more time with me. Every time I called he never answered the phone, when I asked him why he would get defensive and say he was doing dishes!!! LOL! if I only had a dollar for every time he did he was doing dishes!!!
hey coach, could you make a video on why would a ex keep pictures and other close friends on social media but deleted me, and my 2 best friends. she doesn't have "single" on there and has every single picture we've posted up still and it has been about a month since we split. we dated for just over a year.
I’m in a similar situation except that I unfriended him on FB and IG. Then he blocked me on IG two months into NC although I could not see any of his posts.. very weird and confusing!
Hi Craig & other youtubers. My ex keeps posting in her fb story that she was "begging for the bare minimum and if a man likes you, he will text you and make time for you". But I gave her everything and I always have time for her. I am confident that I did my best and she knows it. Is this a breadcrumb or a trick to make me break no contact?? I am so triggered right now like she is inverting the story of our relationship.
@Rolling On Tens. So thats a bummer from her right? I mean. She left me, the one who gave her everything for another one thats not giving her attention?
We were connecting and chatting and having a good time over text last month, then, suddenly, in the middle of the conversation, he just... ghosted. I reached out again a week later to ask if everything was ok? He read it and never responded. Sooo confused. The convo was fun, light, we were having a good time and reminiscing, then suddenly I think he deleted me. Not sure why?