Will Your Ex Tell You They Want You Back 

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Never put your ex on a pedestal because they will be looking down on you... literally.

So they have the courage to breakup but not the courage to reconsile? SMH

What a cruel joke. Avoidents and Anxious being attracted to one another.

I have the courage to tell my ex I miss her, only 1 problem, I am in the wrong position to do so ... I'm generally not scared at all to show someone I am interested, but since I'm the one that got broken up with I really can't be the one to say I miss her. It'll just push her away sadly, I wish humans were a little less stupid. People can want something, but when they get it push it away

I am one of those people who are soothed by listening to you. Silence is horrible. You are reassuring.

How does this guy not have at least 10 million subs

It's also confusing when they say they miss you, spend time with you, but don't want to recommit to working on the relationship. Your teachings are helping Craig!

I think I’ve binged so hard on your videos they’ve been played nonstop day and night for the past 2 months lol I’ve probably heard all of them about 3 times by now or More lol

Grrr....those darned avoidants....lol

It's difficult reading these signs when you have kids together and so sometimes you are in touch.

One of my ex's did do this. I thought she just wanted her plates back lol.

This video is awesome! Managing your relationship with an avoidant ex, and working on yourself to the point where you no longer blame yourself and are at peace with how things are now and how well you're doing as you grow ... golden, Craig. Thank-you.

That is amazing! I see similarities with the last email and my personal situation too. I feel more centered than I was when the breakup occurred. The clarity is coming through. Thank you for the great work you do, Coach!

I had a girl friend cheat on me. We broke up and went our own separate ways. 10 years later I ran into her best friend. The conversation was lite. As. I was saying goodbye and take care she suddenly says “ She wished she hadn’t cheated on you”. I said, “ But she did”…

I've been listening everyday since November 4th. I fall asleep to CC and Margaret. I love what you teach. Thank you.

12 days no contact. I’ve been asked out by this really nice guy but my heart is with my ex still. It’s been tough and confusing but I’m staying strong and following through with no contact. Thank you so much for the videos you’re awesome. I’m watching them every day. I’m sure it will get better. Good luck to everyone here.❤️

Yes, Coach Victoria. I loved the three of you together. RIP Coach Margaret.

Coach Craig- thanks for all you do for us here. I agree with your comment regarding the idea of "Indirect direct" approach. It's a safe way to ask or to test the water.

I really like what coach crag advises in this video about two people working it out. This sticks in my mind.

14:50 I went thru the same. However, experience and education has made me wiser...I did NOT respond to the Bday messages cuz the ex "taught" me thru repetitive pattern that she would vanish on me if I started a friendly convo. So based on the historical data, I chose not to and to this day I know it was the right decision. Indirect directs are DANGEROUS, especially is the ex is an avoidant, and worse, a narcissistic personality. There is a SOLID 50% chance that they do NOT want to get back with you and that's the reality... and if they DO, there is also the chance that they just don't have it in their psychological makeup to come out and do/say what is needed to create the reality of a reconciliation towards a healthier relationship.

I wish my ex girlfriend would skip the indirect/direct approach and comes to her senses and tells me that she misses me already; we’ve been together for over 5 years and I have separation anxiety, with an attachment style

Just discovered your podcast on your Spoyify channel! I play it while I'm sleeping and I wake up hopefull!

Thanks Craig!!!! After being with my ex for a year and half he broke things off stating he needs space after alot of arguing. I started no contact for 2 months....well....he just text me last night asking how i was!!! I thanku SO much for yr videos. I stumbled upon them and your my Fav!!! TY again😊

You’re still quick in responses. I admire that.

Wow you have helped unlike ANY other person or channel before. It's like a human behavior college here haha, and I absolutely love to learn all that! I could connect the dots even in my previous relatioship and finally realized the "how" and "why" behind all the actions and circumstances. I feel I never understood myself and other people like I do now. You have a no BS approach and talking PRACTICALLY about this stuff which is the most important. Some coaches just share what they hear from other teachers or what they THINK could be a reason for something, but you, Margaret and Victoria are truly the G.O.A.T.s in this field:) I feel like I have gained a sense for stability through simply watching your content and reflecting. My perspective has done a complete shift and I'm a different person now. It all makes SUCH a massive sense with the golden attachement styles theory! I love it and your videos, please never stop, keep doing this amazing thing!!

You're savings lives man

Needed this coach 😁

I love these videos....made me look at my situation....🙏🏻

Coach Craig and Margaret: i LOOOOVE your videos, I have listened to a dozen of them and I am still exploring. I would like you to address a topic: What if your ex finally contacts you and she only wants to be friends...it seems rude to say right away: "I'm only interested in being your lover! " In other words, how do you nudge her along in the direction of being more than friends and not ruin her outreach by being impatient...?BTW I think people make too much of this "friend zone" thing.

You are my fave now..Ive been watching videos bout breakup then came across to your channel, I was down and devastated but after seeing your videos, I felt relieved and inspired...😍..plus you're funny, you made me smile again despite what im going through right now..God bless😊

Needed this one coach

I think I blew my chances of being with my ex from not accepting "casual", I have heightened my standards of what I want in relationships, but I'm still left feeling miserable over it...

Your videos are great man!! Keep em good!

What if I don’t want to do casual - like I’m good with being friends and relearning each other that way casually - but anything sexual is a no go

After awhile I thought it’s better to be friends and still have her in my life than not knowing her at all.

Hi Craig I reallly admire your skills knowledge and hands on experiences that you've combined and turned into a very proof worthy advice that really works. I would highly recommend watching and practicing the knowledge in vour vidios whether or not your in a relationship or trying to get her back. Your advice in your vidios really work. I would highly recommend them of your in a situation or just trying to make a relationship stronger Thank you Craig

You have helped me a lot. You are great x

Yep you're right Craig, break ups are often a result of problems.... Oh yeah she was confused, anxious and depressed alright! LOL Living with her ex who has numerous domestic violence charges against him and wanting to have a relationship with me? That was mistake number one. Mistake number two, I don't do head games... say what you mean, mean what you say and always, always, always do what you say you're going to do and follow through. Mistake number three was her linking up in her mind that I'm like her ex. Reach out to me was her cry for help in a woman's way. Yeah she had a lot on her plate, going through a merger at work, two kids, a dog, living with and an abusive ex husband and trying to develop a relationship with me... I would say that is a lot! A lot of stress and anxiety leading to depression. Fourth she gave up when she said she was strong. I lost 10 people in 5 month including my grandfather, father, two best friends (which one hanged himself after I left and I never would have left if I knew what was going through his mind) and the last two was my 6 yr old son and his mother who were killed in a car accident! I was so bad that I walked aways from my very successful excavating company and didn't care if my 18 employees stole everything and bailed and I almost checked myself into a mental hospital . I have been through hell and back! It took me two years to get my head straight. After all of that mess I ended up with who I call the Antichrist and you have to be really, really good to obtain such a title from me. But one day this girl's fuse burned out and she was a total different person from the one I met. She was abusive in every sense of the word... mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, sexually, financially... you name it! I could get away from her because she had a legal right to be in the home we had. Unlike domestic violence where women are the victim, try being a guy and calling 911 saying your girlfriend or wife beat you. When they would show up the first thing they would say is "What did you do to deserve this... hahahah?" I would say you live with the bitch and you'll find out! It took nearly 20 calls before they began to see a "pattern" of abuse. Oh yeah she thinks she hurt me and even said so. Is it scary for her to reach out? You bet! Hopefully she is smart enough to never reach out because when she does, it won't be good! I was dumb enough to take back an ex once and wow, what a mistake! There an ex for a reason! As for courage Craig... I have it! LOL Here is my problem, when I was little, I was very close with my father. Before I started school, my dad would come home for lunch and he would take me around town back in the early 70's where I could watch construction crew working. That was so cool and awesome. We also had a family business and even before I was old enough to work, it we every had a problem my dad would say, come out to the kitchen and lay it all on the table. no holding back.! LOL Basically at times, it was like court where dad would hear both sides of complaints between us siblings and he would give his ruling on it which was always in the best interest of everyone. Other times he would say "Do you want to go get a milkshake?, and we'd go get one if it was driving to one of the other near by towns. As I got older and in high school, I was a touch rebellious but not bad. But we would go get all you can eat fish on Friday nights. There was a bar/lounge that served awesome pizza and after a hard day's work in the family business, dad would say, you want to go get a pizza and a few beers? Absolutely! It was much more than just going to get milkshakes, pizzas or beers. I was spending time with my dad, my hero. After my dark period above, I have been a magnet for obese females with all sorts of mental and emotional trauma. I can't be with someone like that because I'm a personal trainer heavy into health & fitness and I'm tired of being drained mentally and emotionally trying to help them. So I have so deal breakers and it not asking for much. FIrst and foremost, say what you mean, mean what you say and always, always, always do what you say you're going to do. The rest I can bend a little for. I do work for a State agency and was a steward up until a recently. In my business and personal life, 90% of my problems stem from others not having integrity or saying what they mean, meaning what they say and following through. As a result I'm left cleaning up their messes. So Craig when you say we are designed for human interaction, I disagree! Or I'm the exception to the rule. I have tried a few times getting back with ex's and it was a total disaster! They were worse than when we were together! So I don't give second chances for a few reasons. I have goals and I'm striving and working toward them all of the time. I've done just about everything I ever wanted to do and I'm currently 46 with a very successful business. I guess I'm to business minded and i have the time is money attitude. Well that may be a bit incorrect. However, when it comes to problems I take an aggressive approach to resolve them. For example I had an issue with on of my vendors and ended up talking to the V.P. of the company, a woman. I explained the situation and told her we are trying to help single moms... She interrupted and said is that all it takes? (speaking of our need for a few things they changed to keep helping single moms) She gave me a ton of free stuff and services because she too is a single mom and it really radiated with her. On company I pointed out some errors on their website and the head woman contacted me and we had a short discussion. A few days later, Fed-Ex was knocking on the door with some big boxes. At the same time my phone rang and the lady from that business called and I told her I have a shipment from her business for stuff I didn't order. She told me they pay people nearly 6 figures in their I.T. dept to find stuff I pointed out. She couldn't put me on the payroll so what was in the boxes was a way of saying thanks! Inside were a bunch of new laptops and computer equipment. That stuff happens to me all the time and I am very grateful! But when you walk out and give up without first attempting to explore all avenue to resolve a problem. I don't have time for those who come back around and want to beg for forgiveness. Sure I will forgive them, but there are no second chances! They should have though about before hand and breaking up! So my question is Craig, the latest one had a lot on her plate and she is at fault for divorcing her ex who is a wife beaters and living with him and trying to start a new relationship with. I got the whole I need cooping time, I have been emotionally abused. I needed time when I lost my grandfather, my dad , my son, his mother two best friends and four other family members all in five short months. Life is short and I'm not promised tomorrow! So how do you tell an ex your done in a nice way so they don't ever come back around??? As you gave in this example about this guy, he felt like she may not ready or able to handle a healthy relationship. I don't want to get to the point where this guy is and month later and feel like I have wasted more time on someone not able to have a healthy relationship. That is why I don't give second chances. The one I did, she swore up and down she stopped drinking. When we got back together that lasted a short time and drank more than the first time. As I mentioned in other post I have tried to comment on and apparently you screen them? She failed to look at herself and what was her contribution? She then went guy for guy doing the same with each person before marrying the last one. That didn't even last a year! Now she is trying lesbianism blaming guys. That's the problem with the women I find. They try to sell you this fantasy and as you say about women... I see right through them. I don't want to waste time on them and damn for sure a second time around!

Video Idea: Hi Craig, many of us are doing the work and have become better versions of ourselves yet we may be experiencing rejection as we approach new potential partners in person or through online dating. I was wondering if you could do a video that addresses how to keep our self-esteem high if there is continual rejection and perhaps how to respond to that rejection. Especially online - so many people seem to be so callously dismissive these days (i.e. ghost them or they'll say they're no longer interested for seemingly no reason). Thank you.

Hey Coach! Haven’t been commenting in awhile. A month ago, I thought she was coming back around. The rebound ended. She did this crazy indirect approach text. Then she got crazy jealous (thinks I’m dating!) and blew up my phone 2 days later , then the next day told me she needed closure. Wtf! Obviously still feelings there. A week later she “ran” into me at the beach. I’ve been hiding since and it’s been 18 days. She will kill me off .......

my ex said she still cared about me in a message and then about a week later was posting nasty things about me online I don't get people 😂

17:22 managing casual with am Av because some can’t handle more 18:16 questions to consider about an Av’s capacity to be in a relationship long term; and if worth waiting for 19:02 what success might look like with an Av i.e. that it wasn’t your fault & may not be best for you 12:10 it takes two people to *really* choose to make it work

Do people sometimes reach out due to boredom though? Or wanting to see if they still have control over the situation? I get the feeling my ex doesn’t want me, but also doesn’t want me to move on. She even said she’s being selfish by saying she needs time to work through her depression but thinks she’d like to pick this up again when she’s better. But she can’t commit to anything and I said I can’t wait around as it isn’t fair on me. I just don’t think that’s good enough for me

Omg impractical jokers were in milwaukee tonight... at the forum. Hadn't heard of them before your video.

That so true you voice soothing, I fall asleep listening to you

Hey Craig.... Your channel has helped me get through some of the toughest of times but and be optimistic... This is the girl that I love and value the most in my life... We both wanted to get married and she broke up and it was both our mistake... And I want her back and I have been working on myself . She's been leaving me subtle hints here and there that she still loves me and is Still depressed over the breakup.... But I found out today that her mom has been taking her out to meet guys for arranged marriage (which is still how most people get married in India) and also her mom plays a big role in our breakup as she's been brainwashing her and manipulating her but saying that she has Parkinson's and Is going to die soon... And she might get her married very soon before the year ends.... We have met a few times after the breakup and had a good time... She also whispered I love you in my ear while hugging me good bye one of these times... Please help as I cannot afford a series of personal coachings right now...

Good afternoon coach!

OMG! I was just thinking, "I haven't seen a Coach Craig video in a while. I think there should be one out soon (I hope!)." Sure enough, here it is. Having withdrawals, ya know? :-)

She spent time with me several times and I thought she wanted to get back with me. Turned out that she was going to move 1000 km away and was afraid to tell me.

Hey guys. Im a little confused. Im an Anxious type and Ive been watching Coachs videos for months now . But I do see an odd theme that I dont understand. It seems anxious types have to fix themselves and work on that anxiety and their emotional control. But it seems Avoidants, well you just have to work with them and drop your level of interest to match theirs, because they just cant do a healthy relationship in lot cases they pick you up and put you down again. How is this fair? We do we have to fix ourselves but they dont?

Very interesting

Does this include when they reach out for your Birthday? Also if you have chats with them and you both are playful with pet names ?

Omg I love your humor and I would have loved it if you did a skit on impractical jokers

What about if that person is a Cluster B disordered who I am trauma bonded to? Damned if they do get in touch, damned if they don't.

I got 2 in 2 days. One was a business (college) matter, and then today she asked if I had seen the new series of a tv show we had watched together

Why does she reach out when I’m in no contact with “how you been” ?

I really wish my ex would reach out to me. In our 4 and a half months apart I've reached out to her several times. Each response from her was brief telling me to stop. I've never been mad, never mean, our relationship did not end ugly or bad. We both knew we were meant to be together. Our love was amazing. In a weak and selfish moment she quit on us. We were in a period of working on a few things but there were never any signs would be not be together forever. I've been so broken and there's been no healing. I've had much introspection and feel I have grown since breaking up but she's been insistent on moving on without someone else. She very quickly found comfort in someone else's arms and bed. Now she's trying to make that relationship work. It's killing me. The pain is no less now than any other day since day one of this tragedy. I can't move on, I won't love anyone else ever. I don't know what to do.

My ex broke up with me and originally said he didn’t want to speak to me for least a month but we meet the next day . We had a calm discussion and he told me he misses me and he enjoyed talking to me & possibly want to talk sometime.( he also told me he wanted to see what else was out there) I’m so confused em I his plan b or is he confused ???please help

Your a good soul.

Is ghosting in direct way for an ex to contact you? Is ghosting a way for an ex to get your attention?

So, were you once a comedian?? That would explain why you're so funny! :-)

this reminds me of when my attachment style was so anxious that I would be ready to marry the girl after the first date lol

It been 5 months since he broke up with me. I reached out to him after 1 month and something but he Said that if i see him will be more hurtful for me. After 4 months i reach out again and he accepted to see me and talked to me...that he has some bad time and that he doesn t sleep anymore at night, and doesn t want to Tell me His problems and wants to keep in him Even if this is feels wrong. We kissed last time and hug and stay like this and told me that he can t get back with me in this mood and state of mind because he would not treat me right ... he described to me that he can t feel anything for anything ... i asked him if i can see him again and he Said yes but to reach out to him because he will not reach out to me... I don’t know what to do..i love him and i want him back. I don t know how to make him OPEN up to me and make him feel secure 😔 Should i continue to ask him see me?

Hi mate u r doing great job Now I'm big fan of u lol Last week wife left me for 52 year old man I'm so mush hurt I feel life this will be batter with me 😭😭😭😭😭 I still love her so much this is only woman I loved har my 35 year age x

So i had a light traffic accident with a mutual friend while i was out for lunch, a few minutes later i got a text from my ex asking if I was okay, what do you think that means? Is she's just making sure I'm actually okay or does it mean she's using it as a excuse?

she met another guy.. we been together for 6 years. Its been 2 years since the break up and she still with the same guy , i did nc since , been working out, having a high status circle friends and having a better job. We lived together she was such a big part of my life But I never bothered her she looks happy with the new guy, she reaches out here and there but not to reconcile. we had 2 dogs that is staying with me , I still have dreams/nightmares about her. I miss her so much but i can never tell her that

What if the ex is even to afraid to do an indirect message?

In this video he took the risk o saying he loves and misses me and his life is much boring without me. It got me confused.

if your ex trys to follow you on social media and I deny it , could that be trying to reach out? HELP

My ex and I got into a disagreement then ignored me then when I asked him if he was ignoring me to breakup with me he said no. But he refused to meet with me to talk and then kept ignoring me so I took it as a break up. 2 weeks later I tried to reach out nicely and he still ignored me. However, his roommate is really good friends with my friend, and my friend got me and his roommate together last night for wine and his roommate agreed that what my ex did to me was messed up and that he doesn’t like seeing couples fight. But my ex hasn’t reached out and I haven’t reached out to him in over a week. I assumed he was done with me because he ignored me but why are our mutual friends asking to hang out and talk about it with them? My ex also hasn’t posted on Instagram since the breakup and his roommate said he has been very distant and cold at home. I’m confused.

Depends , some will some dont (obviously). In my case , the man ive dated until 2 weeks ago , he is someone who was NEVER very open in talking about his feelings. With some people its hard to communicate , therefore it will be hard to get anything out of them. It seemed that he wanted ME to come up first always , he left once before (but the first time he left it was without telling me, he was simply ignoring me and unfollowed me on social media. Instagram to be exact. 2 weeks ago he the difference was that he told me hes going to leave , not going to write what else he said etc etc etc ,it was a mix out of excuses etc ,i knew one reason was a excuse) ANYHOW, the FIRST time he left me , i waited 2 weeks to msg him again , after 2-3 short chit chat i was just saying ''somethings missing'' , a short time later he answered ''whats missing''? , next msg followed and he said ''I MISS YOU'' , AFTER 5 minutes he DELETED that msg (he deleted the ''i miss you'' msg , btw we were talking on instagram , you can always delete the msg's u ever wrote on there). Its the ONLY msg EVER , that he deleted. I asked him , why did u delete that part where u said ''i miss u'' and he (im very sure of) LIED , something about ''im on my laptop ,it sometimes doesnt work really work and deletes msg by itself etc'' , even if that would be possible and can happen , HOW did it NEVER ever happen before that NO msg he ever wrote to me was never deleted. I just dont believe that there was some type of laptop problem. Its like he wants no evidence ,that he actually ADMIT about feeling a exact certain way about me...

I listen while sleeping.

Interesting that I watched this video, because a few days ago, my ex reached out to me asking if I’ve seen her thigh-high boots, and I said that I haven’t, but I found them, and that was that. Now, I’ve been watching your videos and other videos about the subject and I don’t know if she’ll ever reach out again. Maybe she won’t or maybe she will and it’ll be mixed messages or hot and cold.

These are very soothing. They put ne to sleep, cuz otherwise, I can't. 😢

My avoidant Gf drives me nuts 🙄

Does Coach Craig talk about Coach Victoria in this video?

On the 4th of this month he came to my work to ask my mom a question and knowing I was there he asked for his glasses and told me where he was going to be that week and told my sister if she could cut his hair soon after that I went back to no contact and during this time he has been looking at my stories on Facebook and snapchat I need help into deciphering if this is him missing me and maybe wanting to get back with me or if I'm reading too much into it also he will post sad and depressing g stuff on Facebook and Instagram as well as he has started drinking ever day and started smoking cigarettes again

This seems unreal. My wife & I have 27 years together. I believe she can handle us being together. I'd like to know either way. Yeah, reconciliation or closure. She initiated so I feel She can make the final decision.

“ back pain “ 🤣 aka please blow my back out

What if your ex contacts you during no contact and talks about the break up? Confused the hell out of me. Even while she's seeing someone else.

The last words I've seen her write was "blinker fluid regulator" on Facebook. Solid burn. Not sure if playful or vindictive. Definitely intentional.

Are they compatible if he’s anxious and she’s that avoidant?

So, ive got a question that kinda goes with this video. My ex and I have been broken up for about 2 months now. She reached out the one time after the first month saying Hope you’re doing well. Keep on being the Amazing man you are. To which I replied hope you are as well and thank you. Never heard anything else after that until 2 days ago, which happens to be 2 days before my birthday. She reached out and said Hey! I responded about an hour later saying Hi, how’re you? And she never said anything! It is worth mentioning that she’s very much so Avoidant. But it’s frustrating because it leaves me wondering wth to do? Any advice from anyone?

What about no contact with a guy with abandonment issues?

This advice 100% true just follow the step... my wife want me again.. and i said.. i dont know😂😂😂

what if ur ex seems avoidant and we only had a relationship for only 2 months? does NC still works?

Evaluate her back pain, dude naw, you don't just troll your way back into someone's life.

This is fascinating: I bumped into my ex last week, offered her a coffee but she couldn’t bc her brother needed her car. So I bought her one to go & got on with my day. 20m later I get a call inviting me to lunch. We had a lovely time, she picked a very nostalgic restaurant, made reference to our buoyant sex life and told me about a really good job (for me) at her place… also talked about getting a dog and/or a horse, kind of asking “what d’you think”, so lots of “buying signs” and I was super kind, easy going but since then it’s been silence from her end… in the meantime I’m doing me..

Craig, what if an ex who is the dumper changes their number? Is there a possibility of hope? My name is James. Have you ever had a success story of the sort? If so, could you please do a video?

My Wife left me 4 months ago. For the last 2 weeks she texts me every day but always about the kids (sometimes unessasarily) could this be an indirect/direct approach?

How about the 'indirect indirect approach' where they message you from an unknown number in a way that it makes you think of them but you are not sure that it's them? lol Maybe trying to use your anxiety and make you react somehow to that kind of approach :)))

She said she loved me she’s Hope I enjoy my life without her she felt all I ever did was hurt her when all I ever did was treat her like a queen. I don’t have it in my heart anymore right now to put up with her. I told her at the start I don’t like playing games I told her all of what I’ve been through because we were having that sort of conversation. I really thought she was different but she’s given me no reason lately to stay. & always still putting all the blame on me & it’s just turned into bs & I’m just exhausted & tired & heartbroken but As I continue to watch you’re videos and other good videos on learning to let go. I’m focusing on myself I feel more whole & complete now I don’t no longer need her. And as soon as I keep moving on she keeps popping up. But I no longer feel loved or trust with her

It's been 4 months. I just wish she'd do something.

Craig I just found you on RU-vid and nobody else has been an able to answer this question my question is why did my ex husband come back to me in June play van how much she was still in love with me and it had never went away he said that he was still very attracted to me but yet over the last two months he’s been so hot so cold he says he loves me but he doesn’t know if he wants to get back with me what should I do

What about when they just contact you wanting money ?

I kind of feel bad because I honestly like the attention when my avoidant ex reaches out for stupid reasons every week and I just give her really simple responses lol But I feel like if I give her attention she'll disappear again. I really want a relationship where we actually want to give each other real attention, not who can be more avoidant than the other.

What if they contact me normally after we almost bumped into eachother and just asked how i am etc??

It's true ...I hate my voice too but people saying it's cute😂 true night mares ..are in point .. hardly sleeping much ... break ups hurts as hell I want to be ok ..I want forget all and move on...

my ex has alot of inner issues we both ackowledge. he came back again after 2 weeks no contact. i kept my cool but its definaltey not my fault. only time will tell.