Julia Kristina Counselling integrity..keeping my word to myself...I always feel like I’m just here to serve others and help others and folllwing through with everyone but myself
6:15 BIG FACTS JULIA!!! This is something that I've had on my mind a lot lately as I'm going through a pretty big period of change right now, essentially deciding what I want to do with my life. Some great advice I was told recently is that there's often no one "right" choice that we're supposed to magically uncover and follow. Just go with your gut and don't second guess yourself. Things will likely work out either way. That was really freeing to me. PS: 11:16 Here here!!! PPS: I have an addition to your heathy reminders!!! It is this: Life is shaping _you_ . I actually heard it first from Dr Wayne Dyer, I think. It's easy to think that it's our job daily to attempt to make order out of the chaos of life, hoping and praying that things work out, but I like to think that it really works both ways. I've done my best so far, and thus the Universe must have me right where it wants me. Things will work out in time, even if life feels absurd right now. The Universe has my back. Love you Julia, thanks for everything you do. 🤗❤️
1) self-awareness 2) self integrity 3) healthy boundaries - listen to what you want and don't want to do 4) make decisions and go through with them (trust yourself - you're going to be okay) 5) don't be guarded and defensive - be friendly, be open and assume the best (but don't be naive) 6) be assertive
YOU MISSED an important one: maintaining one's health, especially physical. Good eating habits, sleeping well, exercising, all help boost testosterone, dopamine, etc and overall health, and by extension mental as well, by boosting brain power, all of which have a cascading effect on other boosters of confidence.
Integrity with others vs integrity with yourself. "aha" moment popped while reflecting what i know i should do but don't. There's always an itch on the side of my back on something holding me back, it's me thats holding myself back. Some quotes that snap me back into reality when im feeling off are: "You're in charge of your life." -Not circumstances, its how you react to life. Don't let life take control of you. "What you do in anything is how you do everything." - What type of energy you put in is the same that will come out. Simpler terms: If you half ass something, you'll have half ass results. But if you full ass, you'll find results far more greater than when you first thought of it. This reminds me to always be grateful for everything in front of me and in everyday, ill always look for something to be grateful to. Setting goals are fun, who doesnt like accomplishing a goal and feeling that rush? to find out there will be a crash. I learned that Yes it is important to form goals but that's only temporary pleasure. I learned that its about the habits and your systems that matter the most. In basketball, the goal is to win championships. The process, the system is what we do in practice every single day that makes us achieve our goal as champions. Form systems and habits that is best for you, not someone else's. And with @Julias advice, you'll naturally build that confidence.
You’d be so proud of me. I actually said no to a friend a few minutes ago. Believe me, it kills me to say no, because I say yes so much. But, it feels worse so say yes and feel resentful. It’s easier to say yes initially though. So, I’m patting myself on the back, feeling that pain of possibly hurting someone, but also feeling proud of myself because I am being honest by saying no. Big sigh. ❤️ Kyndale (boundary boot camp graduate) ⚡️✨💫
Kyndale! Yes. This is huge. You are allowed to say no, and other people are allowed to not like it. It will get easier as you give yourself permission to be important too.
It's kind of strange, but at work, I had always been known for being angry, and not keeping my feelings to myself. If I was angry, people KNEW IT. Since then, however, I've been meditating every day on the person I WANT to be, and I've gradually started to BEHAVE like that very person, and people around me have actually started to treat me differently.
Thank you so much for this video, I have been going through a transition. I quit my job to go back to school and I have been cutting out all the things that are not serving me. I’m noticing that I have a hard time saying no people and I have noticed that when I don’t keep my word to myself I usually end up feeling disappointment. I am also noticing that the things I have allowed to be in my life that dont serve me are becoming a magnet for more negative attention. By allowing others to take advantage of you you are showing them how to treat you, a very profound statement that has resonated with me the last few weeks. I’m greatful for all of your videos and I usually find one that it’s relevant I what I want to talk about in therapy and watch it in the waiting room, I just bought a book I’m reading called “against empathy” it’s by a Yale psychologist named Paul Bloom. Very interesting book and I highly recommend. Your videos are all over my news feed and playlists and I am so greatful for them!!! Thank you for adding me to your Facebook group
Another Brilliant video! Love your advice and all the points mentioned! A video suggestion i’d like to make is how to deal with Bullying between siblings, it’s a lot harder than facing bullying from work or school because you have the freedom of defending yourself and not feeling any guilt or shame. In the case of family it’s quite different.. Theres culture, obedience and an expectation of showing respect. You have to repress yourself from showing any defence & I would just like to know your tips on how you would go about that whilst keeping yourself healthy along the process. Thanks a lot!
Julia Kristina Counselling Sorry I didn’t make myself clear but yes adult siblings especially the ones who are immediately above us in age. And yes psychological and emotional bullying, they feel as though they have this power and authority over us when they are frustrated and something goes wrong for them and I find it absolutely immoral. Many thanks!
Amongst my siblings, it’s passive aggressive competition. Our mother drilled that into her children by being distant and judgmental. By extracting myself from them and limiting interaction to only the minimal bit, I’ve been able to see all this from the outside instead of being immersed in it. When I decided to let go of all expectations of them, I found out it was the healthiest thing. Hope this helps and best of luck to you. My siblings are everything I try not to be.
It's curious, this morning I noticed that I don't feel good when I plan to do something but for some reason I can't do it, so as a game I started to say to myself the little things that I was going to do for sure, like "I'm going to make my bed" just before making my bed, and then "oh, I did it" or "I'm going to use that t-shirt" just before putting on that t-shirt. LOL Sounds silly but it actually improved my mood. I love the idea of having a gratitude lifestyle. Pretty cool, I'm going to practice that more mindfully. 🤗
It's like that Navy Seal says in the video: if you want to change the world, start out by making your bed. If you can't do the little things well, how do you expect to do the big things well?
Self esteem is in the pre frontal cortex just next to the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (self-control). It's staying conscious of our mind, body & spirit & have them all involved when we speak.
you touched on the monkey mind, I agree with what you said concerning this. It is important to note that it takes skill and knowledge to manage that monkey mind. how about a video talking about practical tools we can use to learn to manage and or shut that monkey mind off. I think most that struggle with this would effectively get on top of that at first notice the mind is racing if they knew how to manage it. this is not something that people who struggle with racing thoughts, obsessive thinking, etc. can just tone down without being taught how. thanks for your video and time.
I absolutely agree! And it's not something that can be taught in a 10 minute video - that's for sure. We spend several weeks working on this one in my Breakthrough Coaching Program. Here's more info on that if that's something you're interested in learning: courses.juliakristina.com/breakthroughcoachingprogram
Keeping my own promises to myself has probably been the biggest problem to overcome. I got too used to servicing other people's needs first. I'm realizing I shouldn't being doing that anymore.
Yes you did call me out sometime I just get wrapped up and don't realize that I am doing it helping people before I help myself and put things of my concern on the back burner and get frustrated when I can't get it done.
@@sandiegan3788 it can be hard especially when you're mind is working against you things just don't line up but I know you can and it will happen just keep moving forward with everything.
Thank You Julia, I've been new here, but I watch your videos almost daily and especially when I feel bothered about a specific thing. Your work means so much to me and Yes, you called me out a 100% with the putting our own priorities at the back, gonna get to work now cus I feel so much better ❤️ much love from India (:
I've known this fact for a very long time but I keep asking myself why do i not do it even after knowing this would make me feel much better ? And don't complete those tasks. I know for myself, just doing it would resolve this feeling of not prioritising your goals but I still don't get up and do it. I end up sitting and feeling bad I didn't do it ): And tbh, I have no idea why.
I am very good at keeping promises to others, not so great as keeping promises to myself, i.e. i get interrupted by friends messages and calls while I should be working. It upsets me that I sometimes can't get things done just by being interrupted with things that are not very important (like just chatting). I am working on just NOT ANSWERING while I am working!
Yes! Having those boundaries for ourselves is huge. I often leave my phone in a different room when I need to focus. I'm not 7-Eleven and available 24/7 - nor are you! ;-)
If you make a promise to yourself you'll do something, it's best to be fully committed. If you can't rely on yourself to do anything for you, then who can?
I'm one who puts other to much before myself. Like I'll do and do and do for other and make no time for myself or my wants or my needs and that often leads to stress cause I'm to worried about pleasing others and keeping others happy then I become unhappy with myself and my own personal life
@@axlfox4048 Can you be a caring person and not be caring toward yourself? What would happen if you didn't try to please everyone around you or make their happiness your responsibility?
Julia- I’m a new subscriber to both your Instagram and your RU-vid channel and have really enjoyed and also related to some of the videos that you have as I’m someone who deals with anxiety and the way you kind of put things is so true and the easy steps to cope with that but I wanted to ask you if you could give me some of your advice on I tend to have a strong connection/bond with some of my teachers that are female in like the fact that I kind of tend to go to them with issues and definitely heavily rely on them to get that regulation and I wanted to get your thoughts on both how to cope with that and how to kind of break away from that while still maybe getting that same relationship but not as heavily as maybe it is now. could this potentially be a video or even just a conversation?
I want to slap when I be vulnerable about something I'm working on and I hear be grateful you have blah blah. I almost prefer they just say I'm not interested or care and want to talk about something else 😆😆😆
@@juliakristinamah umm, I can't say no. I mean my default answer is "yes sure". I m having hard time in being assertive. Lack of healthy boundaries. Because I m often the first one to violate my own boundaries. Oh my God! I just got to reconnect with myself and then respect myself the way I expect other people to respect me.
Not rude at all! Just your preference. Some of them are a bit shorter, and I invite you to watch those. Some like them longer and some like them shorter - take what works for you and leave the rest ;-)
