I'm not LDS, but I'm very interested in the faith. I love the way that your relationship with your spouse goes before anything else and then your family comes second. I'm in a long term relationship of almost 8 years, our bond is really strong but I love to know how I can invest in our relationship that will make it more strong. Thank you so much for your life lessons!
My husband and I got married at the six month mark but we were both born on 3/4/90 and when we found that out we decided if we got married it would have to be on our birthday so it was either six months or a year and six months.
Ok honest question here: everyone talks about how PREMARITAL SEX is bad and they say no form of that is ok, which alright, understood. But no one ever talks about what’s ok for MARITAL sex. Can you do whatever you want with your partner once you’re married?? And I’m sure we all know there’s some weird stuff out there... But is it still weird if you’re married and only doing that stuff with your husband/wife? Someone please give me an answer, I’m 18 and a member and I haven’t been able to find a good answer... Well frankly I haven’t really asked anyone besides my mom (who wasn’t sure either 🤣) bc idk who I should ask bc it’s kind of a weird question... Idk when I should ask either (I wouldn’t ask that in Sunday school omg) so.... It feels more comfortable asking it on the internet for some reason 🤣 But please omg I’ve been wondering this for years and I DO NOT wanna find out what the answer is the day before my wedding.
From what I’ve been told, The main no no’s are no anal, no pornography, no sex while your on your period... unsure about toys. I recommend these books you can find at desert books • Between Husband & Wife • And They Were Not Ashamed
I asked Professor Coyne @ BYU about this question last year! She said the only statements the church has published is no pornography and nothing illegal. Otherwise, as long as the activity is consensual and you and your spouse feel okay about it, it’s fair game!
In the LDS faith, basically anything is okay WITHIN marriage so long as you don't involve others (who obviously aren't within your marriage), so long as you both establish that you feel these things bring you closer together and don't cause tension. Pornography for example involves others. Beyond that it heavily varies on the individual giving the advice. Some people say anal is wrong, some people say masturbation is wrong but they say that almost always (I've never seen otherwise) in the context of being single as opposed to say doing it together, or in rough times when you're separated due to a business trip for example, but you're thinking of each other and not a celebrity or porn for example. We're a bit of a Lightswitch faith. Which is to say you're hounded all your life that sex is bad and wrong and stay chaste and pure. But then when you get married the switch flips and without being educated you're supposed to realize that suddenly the door is open and what was bad actually becomes not only GOOD but NECESSARY for the health and longevity of a marriage. The key is that sexuality within marriage IS still virtuous and you are still pure. More or less, if you're doing something that damages your spirit and makes you feel less pure then maybe you're doing something you shouldn't but that's likely a line you find for yourself and varies between people based on personality and mindset. But because of that lack of education on it, people carry believes based on fragments their own parents tell them or what they interpreted themselves so they might go into marriage thinking sex is still bad, or that it should be an anniversary thing, or only for procreation, which is wrong. Sex is a fundamental necessity; There are TWO halves to "Being Faithful" to your spouse. Side A is the side everyone knows, it's not cheating, and making yourself available to others than your spouse. Side B is a lesser known side, it's being available and fulfilling your partner, it's being available to your spouse. Both cause the same extreme damage and pain when infringed upon. If you cheat you cause a chaotic storm of emotions and pain that can rip the relationship apart and burn bridges, and shatter the foundation of trust a relationship is built upon. If you break side B on the other hand, you cause a slow agonizing burn that sinks your spouse into a pit of despair, self loathing, shattered self esteem, unfullfilment, and push them to dark thoughts of self harm in some cases, or leave them generally in a negative state of being, and vulnerable to infringing on Side A due to that unfulfillment as they seek out peace they lack in their marriage but because of that shattered self esteem it's hard for them to talk about it or communicate how they feel so the bridges didn't burn down, but they wore down and faded into disrepair. Depending on the people this can be a gradual slope into despair, or it can be a steep drop off as a single no or refusal might make them question themselves. Then the next. Then the next, until they are no longer confident in themselves and/or your love to make an approach again leaving those bridges to fall apart.
My thing is that I know he'll give me whatever I want so I don't want to ask because I won't know if he actually wants to do something or if he just wants me to be happy
I agree i have extreem anxiety and had to retrain myself so i could just say no. I'm thankful for the encouragement but leaders do forget to not put people in the spot and to actually discus with a person what they can and can't do before asking them to do things.
I have been very blessed and fortunate To be with the same woman for 42 years as well as for all time and eternity providing we play our cards correctly. In the event I may be of service or assistance to the brothers and the sisters of the church please feel free to contact me.
Under a year of dating before marriages makes me so uncomfortable. There’s so many twists and turns and ways to grow that might not line up in the long term for people. I’m not against marrying as younger adults as long as they take the tests of time for more than just a couple months
I'm a single Black man in his 30s interested in joining the LDS church. I have a few questions. Is interracial dating frowned upon in the LDS church? Are there a lot of single LDS women in the church? If so, is there pressure on them to be married by a certain age? Do Mormon marriages have a lower divorce rate than the rest of the country? What does a person have to do in order to know their spouses as their spouses in the afterlife? Thank you. Any input is appreciated!
T. Thompson hey! These are awesome questions!! The church definitely does not look down upon interracial relationships. If anyone says that they don’t represent the church. There are a lot of single women in the church! And slot of them are looking for a healthy and happy marriage. The church strongly encourages getting married and not just dating around forever or having open relationships. The divorce rate in the church IS lower than most cultures and I think it’s due to our understanding that we can be with our families forever. To be with your spouse in the afterlife you have to be married and sealed (or bound together by gods power) in the temple. To be married in the temple you have to be a worthy member who is baptized and keeping Gods commandments :) - i hope that helps!!!
The church did used to, but I think that was mainly over concerns of people with different backgrounds. I think for lots of years now the church has recognized that race doesn’t equal different backgrounds and different backgrounds doesn’t mean people can’t have a happy marriage.
Do Mormons have to be married in a Temple or can a Mormon couple be married in a Church.? If a couple can be married in the Church what is the difference between the Temple and the Church.?
It's not a requirement for Latter-day Saints to be married in the Temple, but they'll be missing out on one of the main benefits of marriage if they're married elsewhere. Two members could get married in a church, but the marriage covenant would only be in force until one of them dies. In the Temple, the couple are not only married, but also *sealed* for all time and for all eternity. What Temple-worthy, totally-in-love couple in the Church wouldn't want that? So it's not that we're forced to be married in the Temple or else get excommunicated or something, it's that if a couple can get married and stay married literally forever, why wouldn't they?
Ernest Marcucella you can have a civil wedding but you cannot get sealed until a year later. My husband and I had a civil wedding because I didn’t grow up LDS and wanted my family & friends at the ceremony. So a civil wedding was our best option.
You don't actually get "married" in the temple it does count as it in the USA but it's getting sealed to your spouse and future family so it's a separate seramony than a standard wedding so in USA we get sealed than sign a legal document of marriage similar to civil marriage in a court house. Other country don't recognize a sealing as equal to marriage so members there get sealed then have a separate marriage recognized by the country. If married before you get sealed its considered valid in the church as a marriage is but is also generally frowned upon as if you have children before you get sealed its like saying you didn't care to be sealed to them and your motives are generally questioned so the standard is to wait a year to prove the couple still is within the standard worthiness required for the temple.
@Big Country My story is longer and not a straight line at all. I feel like I'm too stubborn for anything to just stick. I really stuggled and battled but once I stopped things got easier in my life :) go figure the whole time I was fighting me...
