Success story! My ex reached out after 6 weeks asking how I was and I responded politely and neutral. About 2 weeks later I texted her because I hadn’t heard from her, we decided to meet up the next day and we ended up spending the night together. I was confused and tried to take my time to not text her too much which helped a lot to move things slower. That was over a year ago and we’ve been together since then happier than ever!
No ex should have this emotional strangle hold on you ... Remember they dumped US ... We were mortally hurt initially .... We've worked on ourselves ... We are in a better place now ... We can see with a clear mind now ... Now the fog has cleared I've realised my ex is not a good as I once thought TIME TIME TIME heals
All true, my relationship went from totally no hope of him reaching out to him going on his knees litterally asking for another chance...Im still taking it easy..and as Craig said reaching a point whether it works out or not, I will be fine. Im not blindly crazy inlove anymore, Im more aware of actions.. CAPE, love languages, attachment and communication styles... still watching and learning. Thank you❤️🙏🏼
What helped me in such cases - 1) take time (3 hours at least or even till the next day) 2) workout to release stress and calm down before answering 3) texting back in a nice friendly and NEUTRAL way. Even if it doesn't lead to anything it feels so good to act like that.
5 weeks broken up, 1 week of pleading and begging, 4 weeks of no contact, just had a txt saying she misses me, so I'm watching this video now, wish me luck.
@@stuford Still early days, we met up yesterday, I'm not quite sure where my feelings are at yet. She went straight into a rebound after she broke up with me, she said she used him to get over me, dont think that worked out to good. We will probably meet up again this week will update in a week or so when I know more.
@@jonbe8304 Oh I see..well good luck and play it cool when you see her. Remenber you are the prize and she should be pleased you might reconsider! Cheers Stu
@@stuford Update, she hit the drugs and drink really hard, said she wanted to move back in with me and get clean, I stupidly agreed, she was supposed to move in 2 days ago. She has totally ghosted me again, feel devastated all over again. So it didnt work out. I was a fool for saying I'd help her and opened my heart to her again only to get hurt a second time.
Update, she came back a few days later, she has a bad drug addiction, going to try and help her through it, why? because I still love her even though she hurt me and has hit rock bottom, I cant stop loving her. She moved back home a few days ago and things are tough but I feel confident we've got this. My feelings of love are starting to get stronger again and the hurt is starting to subside slowly. Wish me luck.
It’s so weird… I just woke up and deleted all pics of him. An hour later he reached out asking how my life’s going. I can’t believe he would reach out to me like this
may 31st, he reached out to her after 91 days. He wanted her to check out a video, about him and his work, she took a day, calmly replied, great update, thanks for sharing, good on you" - short, to the point and calm.......then nothing!
My woman said she didn't want me in her life anymore. I looked at her without any emotions and told her that I didn't want this but I'm ok with it. I told her if she has a change of heart that she knows where to find me if it isn't too late. I then went into no contact and less than 2 wks she reached out to tell me her daughter misses me and she wants me to come over to her house
My ex reached out after 10 months of no contract with an odd text message and six pictures (two of self, four of the countryside where she moved to). I responded the next day and haven't heard from her since. That's been 2 ½ years so far. I'm glad about that. I'm in a really great point in my life with a fantastic girlfriend (of two years) and I don't miss anything from my past. I love your videos, I watch every single one, I've done all of the workbooks, I still do my me-work. The effort is worth it! My greetings to you guys from Germany, and special greetings to Margaret! I loved talking with her and I always smile when I see her and she says: "I'm Coach Margaret". It makes my day every time!
I wish something could be done about all these scam artists taking over the comment section. Nearly every single response to actual commenters is from scam artists! It’s so frustrating!
I feel like whenever an ex comes back, it's just because it didn't work out with their rebound(s) and now they want you as a stopgap, not because they really love you and regret their decision At least that's my experience.. I would love a video on that !
Depends on the breakup. If they left you for someone else, then sure. It's better you never let them in ever again. But if they left you because they had to move to another city for example? Or because their family didn't like you? Then it's not the same.
This just happened yesterday, on Valentines Day! After 4 months! He broke up with me, and then tried to blame me for everything because I blocked him! I told him it was too painful. Shocked is an understatement! I told him I wanted to understand the issues. I tried not to play the blame game.
I told my ex to stop reaching out to me. I gave him the word for word no friendship speech along with setting boundaries. And he ignored all of it and it became unfair to me. Three months ago I said to stop reaching out, it's been almost three months NC and I feel it's done for good. Probably was a bad idea to say that but if I didn't I'd be stuck in the friend category. 😔
I just did this too. They reached out after 4 weeks inviting me to their house because they were having friends over. I told him that I appreciated them reaching out but was not about the inconsistency & pulling away and stated that I had no desire to be friends because I deserve more and that I was confused why they reached out. They have not responded (2weeks) but I like that I was able to establish boundaries
He reached out on day 40 of no contact apologizing and asking to see me but he lied that he was leaving the country to get me to see him soon and break no contact. Otherwise, i would have had the upperhand and taken things slowly and cautiously.
I ran into one of my ex’s after about a year at Publix grocery store and she told me she was 6 weeks pregnant. I told her congratulations and that I was happy for her. About a year later again after that, I ran into her again and she said her and her BD broke up and that he had been beating her. Sad situation I know
After 3 months of NC my ex turned up at my house to collect her things (uninvited). She only took some things with her and said she would be in contact for the rest of it. She blocked me at the point of the break up. When she turned up she acted like nothing ever happened, but thanks to your videos i played it cool 😎. Im still very confused about it all, but sticking to the plan!!
Hi coach Craig. My ex contacted me after 8 months. He said he was single and not dating anyone and also asked if I was single. We broke up because at that time he was going through a hard time in his life and told me he couldn’t give me more his mom also passed away. I gave him all the space and I finally heard from him. It’s been 4 days I’m going to wait until he reaches out again
She reached out today asking if I wanted something, a charcoal grill, I had in her garage at 8am. I told her I’d get it out of her way as soon as I can. She said it wasn’t a big deal, she just wanted to see if anyone wanted to use it. I’m not sure…haven’t seen her since 7/28/21, and only texted (she initiated) about our grown son otherwise. Kept it short and to the point and didn’t expand the conversation at all and stayed in no contact.
i was wondering if you could do a video on HOW to become more vulnerable with people and what the acceptable level is depending on the type of relationship (friends/family vs casual relationship vs committed long term relationship). I am extremely avoidant and i did not know that i was even capable of the things i have been feeling until this breakup (we were together a decade). Once the anger and shock wore off and i had to be honest with myself that I still loved this person it was like a crack in a dam that I had built up around myself and the pressure of these pent up feelings caused that crack to open up and the dam to collapse so now I am drowning in these things that i have never felt before and don't even have names for. I have completed the the first 5 volumes of the workbooks and am about to start on the next series, they have been extremely helpful in uncovering why i do the things i do and where they originate from. thank you for the work you are doing it is invaluable and it is changing my life.
My ex wife of 23 years got engaged on New Year's 2021. Texted me 5 days later to ask if I sell Cadillacs because her fiancee wanted to buy her a new car...I have worked at a Cadillac dealer for 7 years.
Thanks for this! I am wondering what to do when my ex reaches out for a birthday. Is she only being nice or does it mean she's reaching out? Would be great if you could address that in a video!
This is how I handled it last week after she popped back in after 6 months Her: "Hey There! Hope all is well, have thought about you a lot lately, I miss your presence. I'm getting married! My dog is still alive and doing great. We miss you!" Me: (21 hours later) "Hello there :) I think about you often and miss you too" End of exchange. She monkey branched from me to someone else (getting married lol), so it's really not appropriate for it go much further than this.
@@erinknowles8431 this is all speculation but my guess is she was trying to illicit a response to see what my reaction would be. Maybe she’s not even getting married, a little suspect for a ring after 6 months. Definitely a temp check. she monkey branched so never dealt with her feelings or issues from our relationship and carried them to the next. Newness is wearing off, maybe they were having an issue, who knows.
I think as long as you continue to maintain no-contact then your response is good. Congrats on having the discipline to handle no-contact for 6 months. The way of the Samurai isn’t easy. (On this channel we may substitute Samurai for Jedi👍) I’ve been %100 no contact almost 3 years now. Hang in there!
@@Dad_Brad Yeah no issues with maintaining no contact. I've been on a personal development grind for 7-8 years, the way of the samurai is my life. She left, so why would I reach out? Her loss. Nothing to hang in there for, I'm great! ;)
NEVER FORGET. never forgive, be brisk polite because you are you, then walk away faster, Because their comfort is neither your obligation nor responsibility nor concern Breaking up is the best thing that happened, be grateful for it saved your life, your right to joy with a better muse. FYI, there are billions of fish in the wide ocean, just say hi, and move on like a butterfly
Hi Craig Kenneth 👋 I’ve been watching your videos since my break up about a month ago! I just want to say you guys are right about everything you have said about the ex and no contact! Yesterday, Valentine’s Day, after my dentist appointment I got the text from her… I failed on everything. I did everything I wasn’t supposed to do! I fell right into her trap, ended up pleading my case to no available. Now, I have to start NC all over again 🤦🏻♂️
Please help I went no contact for a week and she already reached out after I posted a status saying I had a nice walk with good company, she was like hope you had a good time thinking it was with another woman she asked me 3 times if I've been on any dates yet I really miss her because I messed it up just hope I get a second chance is it a good sign she wants to know what I'm doing most of the time and we had a really good relationship just ended badly thats all , been watching you for years craig Margaret and Victoria you are heroes 😍
Hey coach Craig! I've been watching your videos for months now and I had my ex finally reach out after 6 months, she sent me a long message saying that I was a big part of her 2023 and that it was wrong to not express her gratitude, and that the good influence I had on her was irreplaceable, the only problem is I think she is still in a relationship with the person she monkey branched to after me, what does it mean and what should I do?
I’ve been watching this channel from last 1 month and learnt a lot about relationship and self development ❤️ thank you coach!❤️ Me and my ex broke up. It’s been a year now and he went in a rebound relationship right after a week we broke up. Since then my ex reaches out to me every month or twice a month. We don’t talk about getting back together but what I realise is that he is in a toxic relationship and he still loves me but he’s never gonna admit that cause he’s with someone else. Since our communication has no progress, he’s not approaching to meet or getting back or anything; and he just reaches out to me to check what i am up to, so I’ve decided not to continue contacting him anymore. Because I feel like a backup plan 🙂 Is this a good decision ? Or should I stay connected to rebuild that emotional connection with him? I hope you’ll reply coach🙋🏻♀️ Thank you once again for making such inspiring videos ❤️
My EX invited me to her birthday party at her place after almost 3 months after the break up. There were only close friends at the party that i already knew them! We had a great time together, we played, we laughed together and even flirted a bit. We hugged many times, she kissed my chest and called by the cute name she used to call me when we were together and i automactly kissed her forehead. I know she was expecting for me to start the converstation about us but she was the one who ended the relationship. My question is: it is okay for me to shcedule a date? I feel like she is scared to initiate, maybe fear of rejection ?
He sent a video indirectly after almost 2 years . I was shocked .. we exchanged a couple of cursory texts but then he just went silent again. Think I’m done I’m tired of the games why did he do a video ? Dedicated the video specifically to me has suggestive music in it video was surrounding his sport (like look at me having fun) .. I sent a text on Monday.. saying hope he has a beautiful day.. the response was nothing
Me and girlfriend was in love from 3 years and she was very much loving then me, she was very possessive, loving and caring we both were happy together but we were not meeting more often we were more talking on a call and texting everyday. On September a guy where she works at starts talking to her and he made her belive that he lover her and care for her truly and she started to talk to him and after a month they get into physical relationship after a month he ghosted her, mean while all this month she was just as normal with me showing same love on phone. Once he ghosted her she called me and said everything what has happened in this 2 months and I couldn't belive this happened, then she started to talk to only about him and how he is ignoring her at her work place not replying to her calls or messages. I was so sad that she was crying for him. I started to motivate her and was helping her to come back from the mood she was in, now she has moved on and she is almost out of him but now she is saying she has a feelings on me more like a friend and guide and she said she can't marry me for the fact that happened between and also she has no feelings on me to marry. I said I can't be like a friend but she is not leaving me she wants me as a friend but I can't stop loving her and to see her like a friend. When I ignore for a day she calls me and cry and regrets for her mistakes. I don't know what to do. To leave her for my wellness or to be with her for her happiness and to get hurt myself evey day
2.5 months in NC , I'm afraid she won't reach out at all. She's avoidant , shy , and stubborn. She told me when we started dating that she watched me at work and liked me for FIVE YEARS and never said anything to me. She said had I never made a move she wouldn't have either. So she could be waiting for me to text her or go see her but I will probably never know 😔. Im NOT breaking NC but I am very scared of this situation 🥺
My ex literally lived 3 years in love with me when we were younger and didn't have the guts to say a word. Avoidant, shy and stubborn. Just outgrow your relationship and when you feel detached... become a better version of you and get a secure attach go for her. She will realize how the things are completely different. I'm in 2 months NC I will reach out in 1 year. She dumped me but I realize how my behaviors was full of anxiety and I sabotage our relationship. She triggered my anxiety too but she is not conscious about it. So I will do the work and try my best after 9 years of being with her. I really love her and I don't think that could be a better woman, I've been dating to get more confidence again but still can't connect with anyone...after all, I will reach my own happiness and learn how to deal with my anxiety. I was a secure man until I lean to anxious attachment due to my relationship, I felt like I was never enough, but now I understand why, she was not bad intentioned I just have a wrong view of her love, and I become more clingy and demanding. We both have issues cause we were so young and our lack of maturity and accountability broke us. That's the reality. She was not feeling happy with me and I really was feeling exhausted about how stressful was being there. Arguing for no reason. But the true is I love her. She is my person but it wasn't our time.
What would it mean if we wrk in the same place, & they reach out to me & tell me they are quiting the job, they don’t want me to find out from people at work, her work phone is about to be turned in so she won’t have that phone anymore. (It was in parentheses like this) “Is that direct in direct approach, what should I do in the situation?
My ex and I work together for a big retail store. The last few months I have been off of work since October. He broke up with me at the end of December. The first few encounters it was so awkward when I would go drop off paper work from the doctor to my hr. He would completely ignore me. After a month or so things have gotten so much different when I go now he talks to me or I’m walking into the store he see’s me and we’ll talk until he has to clock in one time we were talking and he was almost late bc we were talking for so long. I’m hoping once I go back to work in a couple of weeks things will turn around. Outside of the encounters when I see him at work when I’m there we have no contact.
What if you have an infant child together and you left and called the cops due to drama. 21 days later. ...I had a missed call last night and I sent a text this morning saying "you called? " no reply. I just now sent pics of me and my daughter saying her daughter needs her father and I need my child... insert childs name Idk if I did the wrong thing.... she didn't leave a voice-mail. I didn't know what to say....I figured she called to stir up drama but I have no idea
Hello coach...mine is a LDR have been in no contact for almost two weeks from your videos I have known my ex is an avoidant we had issues and he blocked me everywhere but before that happened he had told me he's under alot of pressure and he thinks he's not the right guy for me ...from our previous conversations I came to know he normally don't communicate and he tend overthink which makes him moody and he sees that affects our relationship he talked about therapy sometimes back but that matter slided....so I think our breakup happened because he thinks he can't make me happy and on my side I now know he needs therapy now and if he accept that he can be better and we can work on our relationship I still love him and I feel like I can help by telling him to go for therapy or talk to someone..what do you think should I reach out and then I get back to my no contact
Coach Craig, could you do a video on how to interact with your ex who you have children with and see often during exchanges? How to act in front of them? I know you always say anytime you’re in front of your ex is a chance to exhibit changes. But how do you act if you see them quite often? Would no contact still work the same way if you’re still in contact for the kids?
What do you do if you they reach out. But they say they miss you an there thinking about you but they can’t miss you. An they hope ur doing well. But they think this choice is for the best.
Bought the workbooks today! I think I'm ready to start the self-improvement journey. QUESTION TO YOU CRAIG: I'm petrified my emotions would take over if my ex reaches out. Hot air baloon... Could you give more examples on what to reply, and what NOT to reply?! And especially, WHAT IF I'M NOT READY AND I WANT MORE TIME AND SPACE. Can I ask him to reconnect in few weeks? Not ignoring, but postponing. I'm still too emotional, but I can slowly see that working on myslef helps.
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As a dumper: dumpees have reached out. Each time (well duh, they never wanted to break up), yes I as a dumper came back to my first ex after 4 months, nothing changed and we broke up again not long after. Second dude had to literally block, he was very toxic…soooo….mmmm if you were a good person, not crazy, I think so, I did as a dumper, but this is the first time I was dumped and I gave up after 50 days (hahahaha…..I made my ex wait 4 months before reaching out, and I’ve given up after 50 days for him to reach out….)
My ex texted me after 8 months of NC, asking for pics of our dog.. I was also contacted by a mutual friend who had warned me that him and his rebound broke up and he was talking about me & would probably reach out. And he did. I didn’t even address him or acknowledge him, I just simply sent him what he asked for which was a couple pics of the dog.. it’s been 24 hours and he hasn’t replied.. was that tooo harsh?
My ex reached out and it hasn't even been a full week. She texted that she checked out an apartment in the same town as me. I have not texted back yet. It was last night. How should I respond?
Hi Coach Craig, Today my ex reached out after 2 months of radio silence, I was wondering how long should be take to answer an EX text? I answered him after almost 7 hours he texted, so I am little nervous if I messed it or not? But I kept casual and relax answering as you said. Please help me! A big Thanks!
Okay so let’s say your ex reaches out, agrees to catch up/meet up…the date has been set…is it better to have them come over your place or meet up somewhere else for a fun evening out? 🤔
My avoidant ex keeps reaching out with indirect-direct approach every week. It's been 1 month since he started doing it. Once he offered his help, then asked about sth or just sent music we used to listen together. I always reply, but I'm confused why is he doing it. He broke up with me 2 months ago.
@@benithacalloway8286 no, he just wanted to be nice. We had big conflict, I asked him why is he texting me. He bought gifts fir my b-day and Xmas, but I didn't accept them. He confirmed, he never loved me, he was planning to find someone better. Now I'm trying to heal, I'm going to start therapy, as I'm feeling worthless because of his way of treating me during relationship and after. He is blocked everywhere.
@@katarina1122331 your value will go up when you apply no contact. He’ll regret treating you this way. You’re too easy for him too good too available. Give him what he wants. He doesn’t appreciate your presence give him your absence.good job! Go full no contact . You can schedule a coaching session with the coach by email whenever you need support. He’ll guide you along the way. As for now I would say do not block him cause you’ll need to post nice picture and some good thins about you.
respond to their message in kind, but ask them to not contact you again until they are free and available. Tell them it's not appropriate for you two to talk while they are in another relationship. Think about it, if they are doing it with you probably doing it with someone else.
I just don't understand him. My avoidant ex reached out after 4,5 months of No contact. He called out of the blue and wanted to start talking again. I talked to him for a few minutes (I got your voice in my head to not overwhelm them too soon, so i ended the call after under 10 minutes) and thought to hear from him again. But then nothing. This was 4,5 months ago, in total now 9 months...he still holds on to stuff i had at his place. Is this holding the object? I don't want to reach out because of that but accidently called him once and no call in return, so I don't think he wants full closure....) Any ideas anyone?
My ex broke up with me last November, couple of weeks ago she txt me saying she forgot to change her address and she had delivery coming, I was working and left her delivery in my garden to pick up.... then she txt me again last week saying omg so silly I got another delivery coming and again forgot to change my address so obviously coming to mine... I dropped her package at her house while she was visiting her girl best friend. Is she doing the direct indirect approach?
@@MissSarahGM I thought so but then a couple days later, she asked if I wanted to adopt the dog that she apparently loved so much because she’s gonna move interstate…
@@MissSarahGM yeah possibly but she loved the dog. Can’t imagine her wanting to get rid of him. She was asking for stipulations which I didn’t approve of so she blocked me now but she can’t have her cake and eat it too.
@@Michael-iq3os Either way, maybe she didn't get what she wanted but the blocking shows immaturity and emotions towards you. Let her be, she may contact you later on.
Let it sit for at least 12-24 hours and respond to their message in kind. I wouldn't ask them to hang out if they were the ones that ended things, it must be their idea and they should come to you. If they are with someone else, I would ask them to not contact you again until they are free and available. If you reconcile with this person down the road, the last thing you want to do is be in a situation where the trust is blown because they were talking to you while they were with someone else.
TOTALY agree if they ended it ... it should be their idea to hang out /reconcile .... we've healed .. moved on .... Do we need them anymore ?? .... ii miss her voice ...
Agree. If they contact you but don’t mention meeting up, they’re testing the waters. Don’t take every interaction from an ex seriously. They disappear as fast as they come back!
True. I was wondering how long should be take to answer an EX text , but I did after almost 7 hours he texted, He sent me HBD message after 2 months radio silence, and I answered: Thank you😇🙏 - I didn't want to show any anger or sad, I wanted to keep relax but now I am little messy cause I think I shouldn't have send them any emoji, I feel like it was too much, any thought? :/
@@Persia_936 I think you’re overthinking it a bit. I don’t ignore people. It was a kind message and you replied in kind. Nothing wrong with that not like you are going to keep talking or meet up.
Hi Craig so , my ex broke up with me a few days ago , she is a type of person that will not show alot of feeling , she wanted space and I have given it , she says atleast every once a week on a Wednesday we can see each other , it's been only 2 days and it feels as if she has forgotten about me my anxiety is so high I do not know what to do . I feel as if she has forgotten me and we have been together for 2 years , Wednesday is coming up do you think I should remind her of the day or just wait for her to contact
Gonna throw a spanner in the works....what if they DON'T reach out? 🤔 I'm 6 weeks in AND she's in a new relationship.....chances? In my opinion.....NIL
I’m always the reacher. All I ever say is “hi hope all is well” normally just get a short response which is fine. Just want to be on good terms ya know
@@dantimo5506 i am also in no contact for 3 months so i understand you. Was in this situation with another ex. No contact is the way for ourself to go. Stay strong my friend
