1.Calm hands no rubbing 2.being confident 3. Use explanatory gestures 4.bending your elbows while standing 5.don't crack your knuckles 6. Don't put your hand in your pocket 7.don't touch your face
I got kicked out of school and haven’t been around people in a minute because I live in the middle of nowhere, I recently went to Walmart and just didn’t know how to walk🤣😂I felt high asf
This was really helpful! I have the bad habit of cracking my knuckles & wringing my hands when I talk. I will try to stop!! I found you on The Minimalists podcast. That was also super helpful!
All amazing tips on hand cues Vanessa You are so helpful at providing proper communication skills in a variety of situations. I actually always try to have a drink while at a club or bar and it definitely helps with Hand anxiety !! I didn’t realize it until watching this video but it all makes sense now 😅 Thank you again for your amazing content and I can’t wait for the next video
thanks for the useful insights, just a lil addition over here. hold your drink preferably in your left hand, keeping the right hand ready for handshakes esp. at a networking event ! :)
The answer is hold your phone, look at your phone, check your phone, read your messages on your phone, put your phone in your pocket, pull out your phone, glance at your phone, take a picture with your phone, show something on your phone to someone else. - Simples!
Hi Vanessa, I love your videos and have just bought your book. All of these tips are super enlightening and helpful but one thing I'm super curious about is the headscratch when your nervous. Is it a bad social tic like touching the face or it's own thing altogether? Thank you for all the help I've been getting from you in such a short time its been an eye opening experience.
Hi, oh I'm so happy to hear that! I hope you enjoy my book ❤ Here's our article on different head body language gestures and what they mean: www.scienceofpeople.com/head-body-language/ this should answer your question about the difference between those two!
I DO HAVE A QUESTION!! My co-workers often asks me : "Why are you making faces?" even I didn't even realized I am doing it. Different facial expressions comes on my face unintentionally. Once, I was deeply thinking about a strategy in workplace, A co-worker asked me : "Did someone broke up with you?" . After reading your book, Captivate! I understand how important is facial expression just like hand gestures. Should I consult a psychologist?
Hey Stephen! One main way I see body language, is that your intention always shine through. When you are happy, people will sense and sometimes even feel this happiness, even when you don't communicate this with your words. What were your intentions, feelings, thoughts in those situations?
I love you and have been watching you for years. I refer so so many people to your channel. That being said. Ricky Bobby also did not know what to do with his hands.
So, if I’m right handed…should I keep my left hand on top and ahead of my right? And also when I cross my fingers. Why? Does putting my right hand on top or ahead of my left show I’m anxious? Thank you
I'm contemplating cutting my hands off so I can have an excuse not to use them... it feels so unnatural to me... lol... I suppose it's easier to train and begin using them then to try to learn everything else in life without them... so I'll just practice. Thanks for this video... my next question is how to get your beautiful smile... that one may be harder to answer.
I'm so glad you're willing to practice! I would start with just a few gestures until it starts to feel more natural. :) I'll link couple articles here too, that you may find helpful! www.scienceofpeople.com/what-to-do-with-hands/ www.scienceofpeople.com/hand-gestures/
Thanks for the amazing video, Vanessa! I would love to hear any advice you have on what to do with your hands when standing and listening to someone. I use my hands when I'm the one talking, but when I'm listening to someone else, I don't want my hands to just be at my sides, but I don't want to put them in front of me and close off . . . Any advice would be appreciated!
Thank you for watching! I'm glad to know you liked the video =) Hand gestures while listening should be at a minimum, especially if you are sincerely listening to the person who is talking. If it feels good, try keeping your hands at rest, whatever that may look like for you. Whether it's in your lap or on your sides. Try not to close yourself off with hands in pockets or a crossed arm stance, but a pensive touch of the chin could signal that you're listening intently. to your success!
That's is so Funny....I use THEM..made you look.. Hands always warm to touch... It bothers one's..I like it... Church I the people see the people here or hear the people.. HONEST ...Love is love How to show ... Care..Heart no bad word's... Pay attention to topic...if u don't pay attention to detail ..what color what size..up or down.. Comfort..to the situation at hand or hands.. NY? Turn your rings around ? Or fight or flight..hide to run..no.. No pockets..do not touch your face are you hiding or LIEING?? Positive thumbs..ty 💜💃💯
great video! when i walk in somewhere alone(class, library etc) i absolutely don't know what to do! do i walk with hands in my pockets?? should i take out my phone and pretend to check it?? do i swing them???? next time im gonna try to grab a cup of coffee beforehand lol
How about hand on hips when standing and having a conversation (for a man)? Any better solution? Long time follower, got your books... Thank you for your teaching
Thank you Vanessa for your lovely Videos! I have a question regarding the position of hands when sitting; if you put them over each other, shouldn't you put them lower so that they don't cover your neck or chest? if not, wouldn't this show a hand barrier which could be interpreted as a defensive gesture?
Hands should be calm Confident Touch all fingers Intention Guesters Use excamplatory When speaking Calm confident Sitting Calm tapping While standing Caring adrink While dancing Donot ctuckles Put in pockets Touch your face Keep thumbs up
Love your videos👌 What can you do with your hands on a date, if you have the hands of a strangler?😆Like I do, I have a manual job which destroys my fingernails, tried wearing gloves & I put hand cream on every night, but my nails are either cracked or stopped growing, looks as if I’m a nail biter (I’m not) I normally hide my hands under the table in restaurants, Shame because I dress well, & have a good physique, but my hands let me down, I can do the open palms thing, but not all the time…she’ll think I’m a magician ffs🤣
But what about those who over-use their hands when talking? It causes anxiety in me when watching them. There has to be a happy medium - some usage, but not emphasizing every. single. word.
So what about stroking your beard? Its technically a face touch, but I do it when I'm listening someone talk its more like an attentive listening motion for me.
What do you do with your hands when you're standing and mostly listening to someone talking to you?? I was almost too focused on my hands to pay attention to the conversation 😅
Great question! When standing and listening to someone, it’s generally best to keep your hands in a comfortable position. This could be letting them hang naturally by your sides, clasping them gently in front of you, or if there’s a surface nearby, resting them lightly upon it. The key is to appear relaxed and attentive. Avoid fidgeting, as it can be distracting both for you and the speaker. If you gesture while speaking, make sure it’s natural and aids in conveying your message.
Absolutely, fixing your glasses is a natural and often necessary gesture, especially if they're slipping down your nose or not sitting right. It's a functional move and doesn't carry the same connotations as touching your face, which can be perceived as a sign of discomfort or dishonesty.
Am I the only one who sees steeple hands and thinks of the villain in Beauty and the Beast? The asylum owner trying to lock up Belle's dad? Haha, they look great when Vanessa does it, but they make me feel eeeevil 😂.
I hate my hand lol they are literally the ugliest female hands on Earth 😂😂 I've never seen hands that look like mine I digress... When I talk though I use my hands it just feels natural and when I first start a conversation and use my hands like to point or just explain what I'm saying GUARANTEED the person eyes go straight to my hands and they look a little startled 😳 almost as if I'm knife-wielding 😂 so I immediately put my hands away and start speaking with no hands... But I make sure they see how awkward it is to speak with no hands almost like the lady on Seinfeld who walks without swinging her arms lol 🤣🤣
