When Does The Breakup Hit The Dumper or Affect Your Ex? 

After completing this video, I suggest this one next: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-KHcksdAnD_Q.html

Reality is that no one that puts us through this misery deserves our time ever again!

I hate when people get on here with their negative comments. We’re here because we love our ex and want them back! Don’t come on here with your negativity.

Do not stay where you are not wanted, valued and loved unconditionally.

Remember it’s not your fault they have been thinking about the break up before you even know.... they found new excitement it will only be short lived and they will come running back. Focus on yourself hit the gym get them gains reconnect with friends family to keep you afloat and remember you have a beautiful soul inside and out!!

2months and 17 days, full no contact, working on my self, workout, reading book, enjoying myself, praying.. I am reborn! Relationship failed (she didnt respect me and i gave 101% of myself for her while she gived me only breadcrumbs).. I will not be someone option while she was my priority. THANKS Coach Lee your videos reborn me ❤️

Absolutely devastated at the moment. To anyone watching this, just heed the warnings and lessons in these videos. If you truly love the person you must respect their decision, and respect yourself enough not to beg. If you beg now, they may say yes, but it will be short lived and poorly repaired. If you cease contact, reflect and work on whatever you think you did that was wrong, IF they come back, you will have a solid foundation to work from. Do not make the same mistake as I did. If you're fortunate enough to watch this early, just pay attention to it. There is nothing so special or different about your relationship that this principal will not apply.

Me and my ex got back together 6 months ago but I still watch the videos. But the man is right for most part. When I ignored my ex and never broke contact she came back wanting to work. Just give them time to think and begin to worry. At the same time just live your life and have fun and go do stuff u enjoy.

You were my lifeboat when my relationship sank 6 months ago. I learned a lot from your videos and more so, how my ex displays vulnerable narcassim traits. I went no contact and re-built myself. You videos, along with Jess Reynolds, Dr. Ramani and Narc Unscripted lay the foundations for my recovery. 6 Months later, she's reached out just as you said, pleading for another chance. Turns out the Grass wasn't greener! I was ready. I ignored her. I will always ignore her. I'm in a better place in my life now. Thanks Lee!

Day 1-3 You want to die. You think you can't go on. Week 1: You feel betrayed, abandoned, alone, scared. Week 2: Grieving. You start working on yourself. You join a gym. Reconnect with old friends. Week 3: You start to accept things a little more. You start to sleep and eat a little better. You start to wonder if this was mutual. Week 4: Not there yet. Will update... Update Week 4: She calls. Why, you don't know. It hurts to hear her voice but it's nice at the same time. You don't make the mistake of getting angry or being bitter. You make sure YOU end the conversation and don't let it go on too long. You cry after. Then you do anything healthy to make yourself feel better. Hit the gym, get a haircut, see a movie, buy a new outfit, pick up a new hobby (for me it is flying drones and I'm seriously considering trying to learn electric guitar). This is also a sad week because it's officially time to have a separate bank account, separate life insurance, and separate cell phone plan. Be ready for her to blame you for what she's doing! "The one that's accusing is always abusing." You start to look at other girls but it's not right because you're heart is still with your ex. Will keep updating if anyone cares! I know she's with someone else. I hate myself for still wanting her! Edit: Reached out to Coach Lee Team... I had a call with one of Coach Lee's guys "Johnny" and the dude was kinda rude! Like he just wanted my $! $3k to be exact!!! No way would I spend $3k on "coaching"🤣 I would feel so pathetic if I spent that money on coaching instead of myself! I could get a couple dental crowns I have wanted for awhile, LASIK eye surgery, cool sculpting on my belly, even a rhinoplasty would all be more reasonable then coaching, at least for me! IDK if I even want her back! She needs to chase and convince me at this point. I will be ok! I think I wanted the coaching for the wrong reasons anyways. I want to make her jealous and feel stupid more than I want her back and that's just stupid but it's how I feel right now!

Listen to Coach Lee. After 70 days post breakup I no longer want her back and have worked on myself so much I know I deserve better. Take time to heal and move on. Choose someone who chooses you.

Hitting the one month mark of staying true to no contact. Go me!

No actual announcement but plenty of actions louder than words! Nobody breaks up without a backup.

Believe me guys....never ever break no contact....if you do... you will regret.....if they care about you love you then they will come back fight for you...it is so hard but we don't hae any option....be strong....and improved as much as possible...... you will feeel more confident....

Understand that they don’t care about you or they wouldn’t leave, they don’t care about anything sensitive or personal you’ve ever told them, the people you’ve lost……they don’t care. They care about their selfishness.

16 weeks no contact Killed at first. Has got easier Take the time to work on yourself. I’ve got my gym body back, stopped binge drinking and partying and left the job I didn’t like by landing a far better job with lots of big prospects Concentrate on yourself and put the emotion, upset and energy you have for your ex into yourself Now when I post a story I see all my ex’s friends and her “work” page viewing it Change yourself and you’ll feel better

I pleaded, begged and suffered depression. I did it for a year and it’s time call it a quit. Best thing happened to me is I’m in a better shape and I’m now processing my paperwork’s to join in Canadian Arm Forces. I never cheated on her we have arguments just like any other relationships. I guess when your partner is not matured enough to be in relationship it’s hard to fight for it. I hope you guys will find ways to keep moving forward. Work on yourself and the right person will join in your journey in life. Stay hard! -DG

I get excited like a little child when coach Lee uploads a new video 😀

I just wanted to thank you coach for being there for all of us in the times of need,because you say a lot of things to us that people said in a different way that didnt have that much effect in the way you have said it,personally me who got dumped,even thought it was a short one (two and a half months) i grew fond of it and we even had a trip together and i thought that sort of it was it,but after that it all started falling apart,and no matter how hard i tried to sort of fix and repair the damage it was all in vain.I began wathcing a lot of your videos,from the steps the ex goes through a breakup,dumpers remorse and now this one,i kept blaming myself and doing things that were affecting me badly,just because someone that wasnt really even up for the fight for us left.And after a while i understood that in the end she wasnt even there,that it was a sort of a one-sided relationship and that i almost made myself lose everything i had for someone that i was just a stepping stone for.If anyone gets this far,i do understand it is hard,and it keeps getting harder as the day passes,but if anything listen to what this man has to say and i hope you will understand that the best love you can give to is for yourself,and as coach lee has said in one of his videos,if you do not get your ex back,or if she does not return you get something even better in return,you heal yourself and you become a better,brighter person.And ive had a lot of alone time to understand that you dont have to blame people for things they have done,because sometimes it is the only thing they are able to do,for they do not know better..I really hope that you read this coach lee and i hope you understand how much you are doing to so many people around the globe that are going through tough times and that you and your voice is the light at the end of the tunnel that we got ourselves in! Thanks a lot once again and godspeed Coach Lee!

YOU ARE TOTALLY ON POINT ! EVERY SINGLE BIT OF THIS VIDEO IS ON THE MONEY, BRAVO COACH LEE

Exceptional counsel. Thank you sir. For those of you in emotional turmoil, one of the keys to staying in logic mode is to stop replaying the tapes in your mind and wallowing in your imagination. Keep your focus on what’s right in front of you. Your emotions and your imagination are not your friends right now. Deal with what’s right in front of you. This takes discipline and practice, I know, but you can do this. You must. Be busy about the things you do have in your life and that you do have control over. Stay focused on the next 5 minutes. Every time your mind starts to drift to the other person whether remembering some fondness or imagining them enjoying themselves without you, STOP! Grab hold of your mind, your thoughts, and yank them back to what’s in front of you. And keep doing it, over and over and over again. Don’t let your mind drift. Don’t let your emotions have rule over your mind. It must be the other way around. You can do this. Tell yourself that. Repeatedly. For some of you, you may be exercising mental muscles you’ve never used. Do the work. It will serve you extremely well not only in this but in your entire life. This is where you build wisdom and character and emotional control. And I promise you’ll be very glad you did regardless of what happens with whoever broke your heart. Rock on!

Last year I went thru a stage of watching coach lees videos everyday and night because of a break up and a year later I’m now in a happy relationship with someone new :) lees videos are to help you guys get over the person there is a chance they may come back but it’s much better to try and move on. sometimes you may think about the ex but you have to power on it’s worth it 🙂

It’s even more confusing when your spouse leaves without any communication and just leaves you in the dark.

Good day, everyone! Just wanted to encourage you all to continue to grow, don't worry about them. Stop watching their social, asking people, calling, etc. Analyze the situation and learn about what mistakes you made and how you can be better as a person, but don't put the ex on a pedastle. After about 4 months (been over 2 years now) I realized that I put her on a pedastle she didn't deserve, but also understand my short comings. Re-connect with real family and friends, and humble yourself. I should actually thank her for the breakup, best thing that happened to me. Pray, see a psychologist/counselor, etc. Build up your tool box and build a new life for yourself. You got this!!

They have someone lined up before they dump you

day 15 of NC here. i binge watch coach lees videos whenever i get severely anxious about her. i wont lie this is really tough. We where so happy together. I really hope she comes back and sees how much growth and change ive made towards myself and her. sending love to everyone out there that is hurting and just wants to be a better partner and not rushing into a rebound. Its shows a lot about the person you are.

Turst me its been 1 year since the break up and you get over her fast , so much wonderful women out there that will treat you better

Coach, I had a weak moment and broke no contact with my ex who dumped me. I’m disappointed in myself but I’ve committed to never making that mistake again, no matter how bad the anxiety gets.

Been over a year since breakup, about 2 months since last contact. I wish I become stronger and this hellish period ends. Everyday is a battle.

Holy crap man, you hit my situation on the HEAD !!! It makes me feel better that what I'm going thru is so common. Definitely pulls me out of the gutter. Thank you.

Coach Lee - "mic" drop! I This was your best '1" yet. I cannot believe how you articulately crammed an entire college semester class on relationships into this "1" RU-vid video!

Coach Lee, I've been looking at your videos for a week now and just wanted to tell you that this has been one of your best videos that i've seen so far. It hits my situation right on the head. I just wish I could be as confident as you speak about getting my ex back. He's a bit stubborn and has a big ego so I don't expect him to come back, but I still continue to see all the videos. Thanks for the help.

Whatever you’ve got going on guys, it will get better. For the first two months I was devastated, but I’ve gotten to the point where I’m kinda over it. Just keep doing the work on yourself, go to the gym and lose that extra weight, just become a better you and chances are you’ll just feel it one day

Hey Coach Lee, I just wanted to tell you how positively you've helped my emotional stability and strength over the last 3 weeks. I've watched over 10 of your videos now, and feel guilty about not purchasing your kit. I just want to sincerely thank you for having this INCREDIBLY helpful information available for free. Thank you so much for what you do for people

This video hit home for me, because you’re 100% correct.

I love this man! Spot on...tough love mixed with empathy

Coach Lee thanks for being there for us in such a difficult times, i come from a breakup of a 13 years relationship, 2 months ago, been in NC for 2 weeks, somedays i feel i'm getting over it, some days it seems the relationship ended yesterday. You're the reason i'm staying strong and rooted, every time i think of send her a message, i see one of your videos and they calm me down, i don't have much hope that she will contact me but i'm working on myself to get through, for all my brothers and sisters outhere stay strong and trust the process, with our exes coming back or not, we all gonna be ok. Peace ♥️

Found everything very logical in all the videos you present …coach lee you’re doing a great job helping people …eagerly looking forward for a response from your side

Thank you coach lee!!! Watched this video six months down the line (he dumped me like trash), and you were literally speaking my language!

Hi Lee, this is a great video. I don't know HOW I missed one. The Love I felt was real, hell, I was ready to marry him. I got tired of 5 years of being USED ,& being FUTURE FAKED. I had that GUT Feeling that he's too good to be true. RUN from him. He had no friends, and my friends disliked him immensely. They saw right through him. Yes, I was confused and broken hearted when I said goodbye to him, and Lee, you helped me see right thru him. I suffered for about 2 years, but I'm fine now. This was one breakup (for me) that was justified. Have a nice wknd. Love you..❤

Thanks so much for helping me. I’ve struggled a lot and miss them. It’s been months and nothing yet. Pretty sure she’s seeing someone though. No contact is the only and best option to do. It does work, but not in all situations. People need to understand that. Thank you

Coach Lee...I totally agree with your human psychology and about knowing your dignity and self respect..to give the dumper what she wants .. to let her feel the loss ... and give yourself a best chance.. .

It has been a rough 8 months. This video definitely was to listen to. We have children together so no contact can't happen. However, minimal contact is being achieved. Thanks Coach Lee. I only discovered these videos a few weeks ago and it has helped a great deal. YOU THE MAN!

This is by far the realist video ive ever seen on breakup situation

Coach LEE = THE GOAT

Now im on a 1month of NC Im also losing hope that were gonna be together again. But each and everyday I am healing and taking care of myself and still watching coach lee’s videos because it always helps me move forward and to focus on myself. Thank you coach lee.

Respect yourself / take your power back! This dude is spot on! Remember this: the grass is always greener over a septic tank. Let them go! That green grass has foulness that will soon be discovered!

Thank you Coach Lee for getting me through the past month...you're a blessing x

This guy keeps me from having a breakdown I swear!

Listen to coach Lee, he knows what he is saying

Got mine back thanks to Coach Lee. You do nothing and time will do it for you. Stay strong people 👍

Coach Lee almost describes my personal situation..hats off to you sir

Coach Lee helped me through a break up. We got back together. I now watch him to try and help me understand why I dumped the most incredible woman I had met, up until this point in my life. Be knows his shit inside out

Hi Coach Lee, been 7 months since the split, i have stayed in NC since the end of December. Had breadcrumbs from her via text in Jan, Feb & April. I bumped into her in May at a local restaurant, where she downloaded stuff on me(About her life and kids, she had been drinking), i was polite and courteous and listened to her for a few minutes. Anyway, from wanting her back at the start, i no longer want her in my life.I have fond memories but the bad times and the gaslighting that i got from her, make me more objective about the toxic relationship that we had. Although she didn't come back, i am now glad that we haven't reconciled our relationship. NC hasn't worked in saving the relationship, but it has saved me as a person with self respect and i know i will find someone else who will value me, and treat me as the prize as you say. I still watch your videos CL, as i find them fascinating and i might need your advice when the next lady comes along. Thanks again CL, you were a savior in the first few months of 2022. Guys, trust in Coach Lee.....

Mr. Lee, this video is one of the best among a lot of great ones that you've been doing. A video to be seen tens of times in different days, to process your high level of information about us, human beings. I'm brazilian, my native language isn't english, but I hope you understand me. Respects!

coach Lee ..all ur advices are based on human psychology. ..and I can relate ur every single word with me. I watch different coaching videos. ..but the way u analyse and say it with the confidence. .is all make u the best of all.

Still feels awkward not having a wife after 28 years but it gets easier every day. From what I hear through the grapevine things aren't going her way. I'll give her kudos for chasing her happiness and not trying to come back after that failed. She'll always have a place in my heart but not in my house. They say it takes a third of the time you spent together to get over it completely, I've only got 6-7 years to go.

We lose ourselves in the devastation following a break up. I’m going on more than three months now of NC and it feels like he is a part of my past now. I still think about him and ruminate on occasion, but most of the pain is gone assuming I don’t dwell on how things were too long. I may have just created a fantasy about how I wanted it to be! Thought I met my soulmate of sorts. After this amount of time I’m not thinking as emotionally as before, more realistically. Wish me luck in finding the right partner!!

Let's just be real If someone leaves you, it's cause they think they can get someone better. They're not coming back, they're gunna be chasing what they think they can get. Usually they can't get better though 😂 but they will leave a good person trying to get someone they think is better for all the wrong reasons (usually just youth, sexiness or resources).

Great video! A couple of tips from my book (How To REALLY Get Over Your Ex by Dr. S. Moore DBM) : make one list of why you ended it and another of what would've persisted/worsened if you hadn't. Make copies of this list and tape it where you can see it at home, work, cellphone, and car. Also, put effort into bettering yourself- which will not only keep you busy enough to distract you until time heals your wounds but will also force you to realize your worth and inevitably miss them less. Good luck everyone!

Had a weak moment and reached out after 31 days of no contact. Thought if I just said what was on my heart it might warrant a response. Needless to say there was no response, even after I dropped off some belongings at her house when she was not home. Absolutely devastated with not so much as even a thank you or even an acknowledgment. So disappointed and upset with myself for thinking that breaking no contact would trigger a response. I’ve likely only pushed her farther away and solidified why she left in the first place. I guess after two years together I wanted to believe and have hope that I could fix it. Sick to my stomach.

Dude, you’re good at this

Love you coach lee after 3.5 months of nc you brought her back and your not wishing on her birthday was super duper hit thankyou ❤️

So Nice it’s not over you can regain power over the one who dumped you

Coach Lee you are really helping me get through this

Strength is mostly attractive. Thank you, Coach.

Coach Lee describes things as if he was in the dumper's mind! Thanks a ston.

I agree with every single word . You are amazing coach 👍

Thank you for explaining it that way. It all makes sense now

Damn you spot on...my wife said everything you said when it came to her thinking about breaking up. She kept trying to fix herself and have patience with me but I was too emotionally detached to see....I messed up but she contributed as well but in her mind, this woman really said to me, "I was perfect in our relationship, there was nothing I could have done to make it better". She doesn't take any accountability but out the blue shes actin like she said none of those things and is now trying to work on us lol smh women are so confusing. I'm learning though

Doing NC. Lost her after nearly 4 years. Sadly I have to move across the state this week. Leaving no chance of working things out. This just helping me deal with the loss. Thank you so much for the advice.

I did everything right and stopped contact immediately. didn't bag and gave her the space she needed. Closer to 4 months I reached out. She answered but was very cold. Told me she has a new bf. Now a month since I reached out her b-day is coming up and everything in me wants to reach out. But it's time to move on. I wish everyone the best with there situations and it will be okay. Stay strong kings 💪

Man, this guy is spot on. Crazy

One of your best videos! Thanks!

Its always great to back off and get your thoughts right and clean the mind right. Clean off the physical part and put things rightfully in perspective- come to your real senses like a fishbone check down box then you see clearly what's best💯.

I will send her a sympathy card for losing me the day she contacts me.

This only stimulated my hatred. Thank you.

Another excellent video Coach Lee

Stay in no Contact no excuses .Dont blink.

I always thank god I saw your channel, you've really helped me. After 5months of NC my ex has reached out ❤️❤️❤️❤️ God will bless you ❤️

Thank you for all the footage you share, recently started getting back together with my ex after a harsh breakup. (Even though she told me we would never get back together). I did some pleading right after the inital breakup, but after your videos went into NC. She reached out, I reacted calmly, friendly but with some distance. The amount of her reaching out kept increasing up untill the point she asked to meet. We noticed we both improved some negative points when we met up, and agreed to focus on good communication in the future. We shared some intimate moments and are on our way to a more healthy relationship. Thanks again!

My Ex is disabled, he relied on my health insurance from work. As soon as I retired, he filed for divorce. Then later, I started to realize that this has been planned. I talked to him about our grown up Son and looking forward to see his future in order to keep our family together. He always told me that he doesn't want any body,, Only 2 months later he met someone online and moved in together. 36 yrs married, he used me for his benefits, I was naive, full support and loving, did not know that everything has been planned. It's very hurtful, I thought he loved me all 36 yrs together.

Coach, you've cured me, man. Wow! Here I am thinking I'm losing my mind and now I know that I was right all along. This is my situation described to a T! I've been with my wife for 16 years, but we've only been married for 5. She sprung this on me very quickly. Out of the blue. I knew we had some issues to work on, but she lowered the boom without warning. As you said, she planned this out and she is firm in her stance. In no way, shape or form has she mentioned working this out. At all! We have a 15 yr-old son, so we have a lot of history. But your description of the events is EXACTLY how it happened, and I know I was right to assume that she's probably already been with another man and if not, she's preparing to be with one at our marriage's conclusion. She won't even let me touch her. It's ok, though. The truth hurts sometimes but it will surely set you free. Thank you so much! Take care, brother.

My ex sabotaged the relationship didn’t want to take accountability so they chose to leave me high and dry.. but don’t worry I’m giving her no contact I’ve been in photo shoots and now acting in small rolls I’ve been on social media posting my come up and she has been watching.. guys do better level up and they will come to you eventually

Omg this makes so much sense!

This sounds spot on! She seems so cold towards me now! 10 years of marriage. I helped raise her now adult children and now have 2 grandchildren. She's having an affair with a man that's young enough to be her child. He is only 1 year older than her oldest child. I'm devastated!!

Ex contacted me to meet up and that she missed me… that night canceled the plans and blocked me and later emailed me to never contact her again

This is spot on. Thank you.

See patterns. Her mother. Her own description of herself. Believe what you see & hear. Back up reroute. Forget. Learn. Apply. It’s a favor to you to not be with them. That’s the reality. Good!

You guys please listen to Coach Lee. I promise in time it gets better. If you had a significant relationship (a year or better) they WILL reach out. Without getting into details I was an absolute jerk at the middle to end of my 3 1/2 year relationship. She left, I never chased and the game was on. She tried to hurt my friends feelings, she had her rebound reach out at condescend me, she tried to keep control by keeping my phone in her name. I never once disrespected her, her rebound (who left her for someone else after about 3 months) nor most importantly myself. A lot of immature things. I continue to work on myself each and everyday. Well last month I got a text out of the blue. Bread crumbing if you will. The point is it been a year and at this point if she wants to try to reconcile, she will have to do the heavy lifting. She will have to earn the 2.0 version of me IF I’m willing to see the improvement in her to take her back. Guys time is fragile & life is delicate. You can absolutely move forward.

Videos worked, I smashed no contact and whilst she reached out a lot. The the most important part is to realise if they do not respect your boundaries it’s not acceptable. She came back, we had a very emotional night however mixed signals and whilst she tried to make a move on me multiple times, she voiced she was scared about what she wanted. I will pull away now as I know what I want and sometimes you need to let it go. I keep pushing on my own journey!

Value is odd thing, they decided I had no value to them then in no contact , days , weeks months then years passed and it became crystal clear. Their actions in the break up and how they broke up suggested they were the ones with no value, no respect , no integrity , no love and no basic human emotions for someone that cared deeply for them. Nasty bitter cold self centered cruel damaged people are everywhere and I needed this lesson to reinforce who I am and what value I have. I would not want to be that other person as I dont understand how they can live with themselves treating people family and even their pets the way they do. I would not wish that person on my worst enemy.

Coach Lee you are the best

I believe that if they don't contact you within 2 weeks, even if you disagreed and wanted to fix it, after 2 weeks its time to move on fully. But try to move on now. Because if they come around you will be a more positive person.

I’ve been dedicated to no contact, it’s been very hard. But, she reaches out for no real reason all the time and it frustrates me. I don’t know why she does it, and I’m sure she doesn’t know either. I went into no contact w the idea it would bring her back to me, but now I do it for my own growth. I’ll let her continue to reach out, and I’ll respond at my leisure. It would be easier if she just stopped reaching out, and maybe one day I’ll ask her to stop. Hope is a drug, and I’m hooked.

Listen, it doesn't matter when the break up affects the dumper, walk away, far away, that the time he/she realizes the mistake he/she made its too late because you're long gone.

My ex wasn’t ready for relationship after we got back together, so I stayed and gave change thinking he will change but he didn’t, so it was very tough for me back and forth with him, finally I get it together and told him if he is not giving me what makes me happy than I have no choice to leave. After a week he call again and want to see me I said no only if he want to discuss the relationship, so he didn’t say anything after we hang out I had to text about something but he blocked me. This is Immature act. Up to him. If he loves me he won’t risk loosing me.

True! He waited until he met somebody else

7 months no contact, after a relationship of almost 3 years. She was without a doubt the woman I liked the most. I was 38 and she was 25 when we first met. I never imagined that I would like her the way I do. It wasn't anything serious... But time passed and today I'm sad to like her. I noticed that she was losing interest and I walked away, as I didn't look for her, she didn't look for me either. I dated 6 women in those 7 months, but she stayed in my head. Today, I didn't even want to have her back... I just wanted to forget about her. But sometimes I think I'll love her for the last of my life.

My situation is different.. I have an ex that is abusing prescription drugs that is distorting her mind.. so sad for me and shucked by it all... these videos helped me tremendously NC for 60days and no plan to make contact..