What Happens To Your Ex During No Contact? 

Hey guys. Followed Coach Lee to a tee. 12 months of no contact. Never initiated once. She breadcrummed once in a while. I did me and worked on myself and when she did reach out kept it light, flirty and non committal. We have now been back together for a month. Talked through our issues and are back together. Everything the Coach Lee says your ex thinks of during this period is exactly what she experienced. Trust the process...

To the non-believers.... no contact works 100% of the time. You either reconcile and evolve with your former parner (win) AND/OR your self improvement during this process creates so much confidence in how you feel about yourself that you are overall a better partner for whoever you end up with. Focus on you. What your ex does IS NOT a reflection of who YOU are, it's a reflection of who THEY are. Stay strong.

Stage -1 Relief Stage2- curiosity Stage 3- concern and good memories coming back Stage 4- Fear that they made the wrong decision.

I know there are many people who watch these videos saying "this will not work in my case" or "my ex is not like that". I was in the same position too and no contact method worked for me perfectly. It is all about the psychology behind it. Be patient the time will come when they contact you back, so better be prepared for that moment. Keep your head up and focus on your goals during this no contact period❤️

Eventually you will be 10 times stronger mentally and emotionally than your Ex. Listen to Coach Lee and you will

I just did 6 weeks of no contact. My ex wound up calling me out of the blue. We talked for an hour and 15 minutes, then I wound up grabbing carry out and going to her house. We stayed up til 5 am talking and catching up. We wound up hanging out the next day and the next night too. Taking it slow now, but I honestly never thought that she would reach back out. No contact was super hard, but I am glad that I stuck with it. Even during the Christmas holiday. It wouldn't have been good if we broke no contact around the holidays, it was too soon. Thanks for your videos! They honestly got me through it!!!

Take a walk, read a book, connect with family and friends, play some games, enroll in something productive, just stay in No Contact. Coach Lee knows what it's about.

I really love how people put breakup term: “they don’t actually know if they want the breakup…they have to actually go through it to know if it’s the right thing”. Let them experience the breakup and go through life without you to see if their predictions were false or correct: is life actually better without them and was I being to hasty or did I turn things into a bigger deal than they really were?!”

6 months no contact. It's gotten much easier with time and I've come to the realization that I'm much better off without her and don't want her back

I'm getting better and better without my ex. I always switch Coach Lee's phrases on whenever I am tempted to break the NC, it goes something like "Time is on your side... the longer you are staying on NC, the bigger chances you can get your ex back"... " pressure cooker"- cooking their stubborn buttheads by NC "Oven"-do you want half-baked goods or fully baked?".😁😁 The more weeks pass through, the chances of winning. Thank you, Coach Lee.

It’s funny how going into “no contact” straight away is so immensely strong, that makes the dumped one feel and think that they are the dumper. Insane!

Stay strong! You’re not alone. Focus this time to yourself and become an improved version of yourself

To anyone needing motivation, I went a grueling month with no contact to a man who left me and he texted me at the end of that month. I made it a bit difficult for him as I pretended I was mostly moved on, but 6 months later we're stronger than ever bc he realized how much he loved me and respected me for not putting him at the center of my world. It's crazy attractive. I let him know I saw other people, too, so that he understood what the repercussions of his actions were. Just some motivation for you guys going through it that people are more attracted to people who respect themselves enough to not come off desperate and if you get back together they'll have a whole new respect for you. (You also have to fix the problems that led to the break-up)

Can we also talk about what happens to US, the broken-hearted ones, during No Contact? A positive approach. For people who are at the beginning of NC, or during a longer period of NC and need some reassurance? I am personally at the stage where I am less and less interested in what they think, as I am too busy rebuilding myself, stronger than ever, and that is thanks to you, Coach Lee! 🙏 Thank you!

Happy we're getting a lot of videos from you lately, Coach Lee! It's been 4 months since our breakup, and I'm just trying to heal and focus on myself (no longer holding out hope we'll get back together). But I still watch your videos because it's so comforting to have someone in our corner giving us encouragement and wisdom during a hard time when we have no one to turn to.

We need to work on ourselves during these hard times. Go to the gym, eat healthier, focus on work and your friends. You'll be a better person whether they come back or not and I'm sure it gives us a higher chance of them coming back if they see we're a better version of ourselves than when they left us. Thanks Coach Lee I thought I was going to go insane but your videos help a lot.

Success for me has been the transition from pining for my ex so badly and wanting nothing else but to get back together to not really caring if they do come back or not. Nevertheless coach Lee has brought me a lot of comfort throughout this journey and I will continue watching lol

Day 45 and goin' strong.. theres no turning back now 💪

I just want to thank coach lee for posting cause his videos and advice gave me the strength to push through my break up. No contact worked and after 2months almost 3 my ex came back. We were together for almost six year. We talking again and trying to figure out where we move forward for the break up. I was there where you are crying and upset but I took the time and did no contact and focused on myself and that really worked wonders for me. Stay strong 💪🏼

Cried really hard today out of the blue. This seems like a marathon sometimes. Sometimes strong, sometimes not and the finish line seems so far away...if there is a finish line. It's about the journey, right?

Thanks coach you are the best nearly 3 months no contact sadly I don't think she cares to much but I guess that is a sign to move on I will still purchase your emergency break up kit to support the wonderful work you do for people. So sad to see so many heart broken people these days. Wish everyone the best.

Hello Lee, this is an interesting subject. I finally realized that I was actually engaged to a Narcissist. I've been trying to figure out WHY he gave me an engagement ring, but never wanted to plan a venue or go house hunting with me after all those years. Why he rebounded after I left him and married a RICH woman 2 weeks later. It all makes sense. Even his verbiage was spot on of that of a narc. It's been years, but I still listen to you, even though I am doing fine. I have dated, but nothing serious yet. I'm protecting my heart. Don't want to jump into something and have a "Here we go again." Thank you for your videos, and I also have been reading up on the narcissist. You're still the best. ❤

Thanks coach Lee day 45 NC you help me alot your videos saved my life 😁 some days are good someday are bad but your videos lift me up and I m doing my best to become my best version mentally and physically

Very accurate! As soon as I saw the title, I knew this was good stuff. You're helping so many people out there. Please keep believing in people and providing your amazing content to us! Amazing work ❤️🙌

Been struggling the last few days thinking about her and the paranoir that she's moved on and with someone else its making me mentally ill! Broken up mid december, i begged pleaded and written letters i was a desperate man 😔 went no contact after boxing day, keeping strong though. All though im losing hope more every day and realising she wont come back i just got to carry on and improve myself by working out in the gym, eating healthier, buying nice clothes and getting private therapy to help me. Prey for me guys 🙏🙏

Coach Lee you're a legend in this field

Youre not coach Lee, youre Master Lee, to me, in the latest days youre one of the most important persons in my life, no doubts. I was so heart wrecked, you gave me peace of mind, 100% thank you brother. Ill keep you in my prayers. 🙏

You have helped me tremendously. My world shattered 2 weeks ago. I messed up a lot after the break up. Nothing bad just texting and trying to convince her to talk to me. Now I've begun no contact but if anything I already feel better despite the mistakes. Thank you.

My ex started to like my IG photos, started watching these videos. Manifested it and she hit me back up on the week of her bday in November last year. I said “im open to it” just going with the flow and hitting the reset button.

Three months after being let go I needed this video to keep me strong.

Jokes on her. I'm now in peace and I don't want to deal with her drama so even if she came back, I wouldn't take her. The power of no contact is awesome

Prompted from Coach Lee To General Lee the master strategist!!

Needed this video today🙏, so glad Coach revisted this one. 🙌

2nd breakup in 2 years. Here we go again coach.

These videos are the only thing that has kept me in no contact again through the last month! On day 33 again after making a mistake and reaching out on New Year’s Day after she broke no contact before Christmas after a month. Thank you coach lee

A year and a half of no contact after a 6 year relationship where she cheated and left me. I’ve worked on myself, got a new job, new car, new space and get attention from women I never thought I’d get. I’ve outgrown my ex. Thanks Lee! ❤️

The Most Amazing Relationship Expert EVER!

Wanna know what's really sad? That people abandon you and they want to understand you But that second part isn't true. They are just misjudging you so badly and that's their fault... and that even though you apologize so many times like your effort doesn't matter............ so many people are just not at fault for their partners issues

Ya know, Coach Lee is probably the best coach I’ve seen on RU-vid. Most of the time its other wanna be coaches just bs and stuff that’ll make it worse but I like how Lee is just straight up, that’s exactly what I needed and looked for. But, I will say all of this advice, specifically that stages, are all under the assumption that they still love and care and will still love and care. No coaching advice ever will be good for every situation but this is pretty good. My ex of 2 years broke up w me over txt while I was at work 2 days before Christmas and moved in with her work friend and left me with her cat and bills she was supposed to take care of smh and I didn’t start no contact until 2 days ago bc she had told me we needed time to work on ourselves and then we could work on us, she also said it would take more than jus 2 months to get over it. She had also told me she planned on meeting w me every week to see progress. But this last time she has rescheduled like 3 weeks in a row then when we finnaly hung out at dog park (where we meet) it was jus a waste really. She was like stiff the whole time and quiet and wanted to leave after 30 mins. She also had been telling me she loved me and kept insta photo of us on until a few days before we finnalt met. My reaction to it all was jus to not contact her until she actually wants to see me. She had also told me she had her friend as her valentines (girl) and I had asked if I could too (couple weeks before valentines) and she said yes. But when we met at the dog park that last time she told me not to get her anything. So, I didn’t. And I didn’t hit her up on valentines either bc like coach said. “Why?”. The valentines video was spot on. But my point is, I love this girl and I hope she was being serious and not just leading me on but I can’t keep chasing ya know. I plan to keep this comment updated to let y’all know if this actually works.

Tomorrow I'm 2 months strict NC since the day we broke up! I'm trying to keep strong with great thanks and appreciation to these videos!

Coach Lee You are God Send to millions thanx for helping the broken hearts.

The worst is when your ex break's the no contact rule, to tell you they're in a relationship, and hope that you've moved on. Yep, happen to me, and no, it wasn't one week, two weeks, or a few months. It's been one year, and I never reached out to her one time. So her thinking she needs to do this is weird to me. And the way she did it was even worse... "Hey, how you doing. I hope you're good. I need to tell you something urgent, please text me immediately." I swear I thought at first she was trying to hurt me as some bizarre kind of payback, but she was serious. Who freakin' does that?

One and only Coach Lee 🖤

The turning to left side at 7:33 is a legend Coach Lee :D

It’s a beautiful mystery. I love that.

I am still in no contact for 5 months now !I watch your videos every other day to stay 💪 strong. It is hard, I am just focusing on my nursing career

My ex blocked me and started new relationship during no contact..

Day 3 of NC. Started off by begging and telling her I was changing for a couple weeks… So glad I found your channel

Oh, I'm definitely going through it 🥺 We broke up again last year, but talked again just a month and a half ago; I had said something I didn't mean and he blocked me again. It's never-ending, and I really want to work things out with him. I know we both lack with communication; I never meant to hurt him. I had no idea that no-contact is what he's been doing, until I came across your videos. (I'm sure it's just a matter of time until he reaches out again, but it still hurts, because I just know in my heart, that he's the love of my life)

It worked for me. After 5 months (intermittent contact - we have a child together) I gave up and started living again. As soon as I was over it, she came back. My advice, move straight on (abundance mentality) and act indifferent.

I know this is true. We were liking every post each of us made on FB. I unfriended her, her friends and family too. She doesn't get to know what I'm up to. I have gone 2 months. Sometimes hanging by my fingernails. To tell the truth, I wish she'd call or even text. But I am not going to be the one to break it. Her b-day was so tough, I got talked out of sending flowers. Valentines day will suck even more. Strong everybody! Maybe they don't even deserve us?

This information is GOLDEN

Glad i am not yet sleeping. ☺️ Attendance check: 🙋🏻‍♀️🇵🇭🥰

I’m basically on day 9 of no contact. I’m twisting in the wind here. Without getting into nuance of our relationship, she blocked me on all social media after expressing there was no emotional connection via text message after two years. So now here we are. It’s one of the more difficult things I’ve had to do.

The Gift of your Total Silence and Absence is always the best way to go for yourself. It can't be used a punishment you will only end up hurting yourself more. Step back and away from that situation and focus on yourself not them because if they wanted you. Well you already know the answer to that. Life is very short how do you want to spend it.

Thank u Coach Lee - u are saving me from a bout of senility

Where were these videos when I needed them the 1st time I would have been so much further ahead by now😩

Thanks Coach Lee! It's 32 days since the breakup and I'm 25 days into no contact. These videos keep me from reaching out. I've been tempted but have stopped myself after going through the Emergency Break Up Kit a few times already.

It's been 5 months since our breakup and I already had a ring prior to the breakup so it's been pretty hard for me to swallow what happened. Had a major anxiety attack and was clinically depressed big time. She had blocked me on all social media platforms and had announced our breakup to all our family members. I am in no contact just because I have no means and right now I keep on hearing things about how she's happy and having the best time of her life. Thank you coach lee for keeping me sane right now. Hope I will be able to bounce back from here.

so far hes contacted me twice in one week which is a lot more than once every twoish weeks! He knows i love museums and looking at beautiful things. Its strange he even took the photos and sent them to me since he doesnt like taking photos much or care for such things. But i will stay strong and continue NC until he reaches out formally. Almost at 1 month NC after a restart!

Day 80 of no contact and although I still have weak moments I know that I will be ok. I really don't think that she will reach out but I'm ok with that, I have had time to reflect on the relationship and see the flaws in it. I put her on a pedestal post break up and although she is not a bad person she certainly isn't perfect. No contact works but not always in the way we hope when we first start doing it, I know some people won't want to hear that, but the advice to go no contact and work on yourself is really excellent advice. If you follow it you get to keep your dignity and become a better version of yourself, that's a huge win even if they don't come back.

Thank You very much Sir.Your explanations are very clear attractive and effective .💓💓

I was doing no contact for 23 days she reached out I kept it simple and now we haven’t talked in 8 days

That shirt looks beautiful on you coach 😊

I have had no contact for nearly a year, however two weeks ago he unblocked me of social media. I only know as he liked a post I was in . I am still having no contact. I think it’s given me time to be happy again.

I had done no contact about 25 years ago - two years later he came back and we married and had children. It does work and you can’t Gauge the time. You are doing so much during the no contact You are restoring your worth and value Because of you don’t value your self why should your dumper?

I can attest to to the fact getting back to soon it falls apart Now I’m back to square one No contact I lost all my momentum AN OPEN DOOR IS A CLOSED TRAP!

Man these videos help so much. My partners just broken up with me. At first I thought that big shows of love and affection would get her back, and I'm so glad I found these videos to understand the depth of it all more. I really do hope I get her back and I believe I will - we had a fantastic relationship and had such amazing chemistry, and I know that we'll end up working it out together. I think that if I follow your advice Lee, I'll have the best luck in getting her back, and regardless of the outcome I tahnk you so much.

Stay strong all, on day 35 of NC. One text on Jan 9th at 10pm, asking if i had a good new year x. I replied politely as per previous videos, no text from her since. No initiation from me and feeling stronger, still have moments of doubt.. It does hurt, but it does get better.. Lets see if she reaches out again..

I love coach Lee, this guy is awesome..I believe him whole heartily..

Lee, can you make an episode on how you both decided to break up, to work on ourselves and to take a step back to come out of the negative spiral. It does not work at this moment together. We werent ourselves anymore. The bond is there, the connection, the chemistry, the way we look at the world..but he does not see it anymore to be in a relationship..at this moment. Meaby later, trusting the proces and our connection. We both know we still love each other, but just happened to much. He is affraid. He is DA and I AA style. How can I get him back. We splitted up 3 months ago and now in no contact for 1,5 week. We told eachother only to contact the other when the other is really been missed and want to be together. I don't want him to check on me in 2 months just to see how it goes with me. I want him back.

Thank you Coach Lee… great video…what’s your recommendation on what to do when you’re not sure who did the breaking up? 14 weeks no contact from break up event.

Great video as always! Looking forwad to hear your thoughts about an ex who keeps contacting before the brake up. How often should I initiate contact? Should I still allow him to miss me? There were 2 weeks of nc, but then he reached out and there is just small talks occasionally

No contact Is good when u know how yo apply it properly and for certain time. Depending of your situation. If u want to block someone he/she may suffer in the beginning but Is going to move on. To block someone Is good when u really can't control Ur emotions and want to forget about that person and move on.

My ex ghosted or broke up with me by not responding to my texts anymore. Even though our texts were pleasant. Thank you for these videos. It’s been early , only a few weeks, NC with them. Thanks again. I have support from a good girlfriend and my faith 👍🏻👍🏻

I’m the dumper. I’m not going through these stages. I walked away because the relationship was dead due to lying and cheating.

My ex and I live together, I did no begging , no chasing , no pleading . Just staying my distance, no contact while at home for 30 days , now I’m on the pursuers side . My ex keeps asking me how I’m doing , yes curious. We have a movie date night with a bottle of wine , our 3rd time binge watching Ozark … see how goes this time …

Day 12. I’m struggling badly. Trying to deal with it. The process has been accurate with the curiosity phase. 😮

This guy is spot on!!!

Hi Coach Lee, I paid $20+ on your live Q&A as well as paying for your Emergency Breakup Kit. My question would not attach to my donation. Here's my situation, I was dating someone seriously for three months (great connection, sex, great chemistry, etc). We usually only saw each other @ once a week due to her schedule. She broke up with me out of the blue, stating she was not sure of the long-term compatibility. She is super busy with kids, a complicated job, etc. I took it well and thanked her for her honesty, but did push back a little and said we needed more time to figure out the "long-term" thing and we should just have fun and see where it goes. After a week of no contact from me, she started texting me, with messages including she "misses me" "misses our time together" etc. She also shared details of her weekend, etc. Is it time to set up a live meet or call, or do I need to wait longer or have her reach out more before I do that. Thanks

3 weeks into no contact as she left me right before christmas. this has been the hardest way to start my year. We where best friends, i yelled at her in an argument which made her end things due to me scaring her. i apologised but she said she needed space away from me. this has been so hard for me. i pray she comes back, im so lost right now. i follow all the steps but i hate that i sabotaged such a beautiful connection :( my thoughts go out to everyone struggling in NC and thinking about there special person daily..

Yup sir, my no contact worked perfectly, now she's back

This is very helpful shit. I have had no contact since middle of January. I am starting to feel better. Starting to get back to the surface. 99.9% of the time my ex will be at her house since she is a homebody and fears of giving her mother Covid. I know exactly where she is at and that gives me a piece of mind since I could go out there at any time and beg for her back. But I won’t simp for that shit. Stay strong is the motto👍👍👍👍👍👍

3 months in and still no contact. I feel in my guy there is a message coming. In the meantime, I’m working on myself to be in a better position regardless.

Need a video on multiple break ups same person and to why this happens On and off in years Started following you and doing nc tho see the dumper did this immediately everytime ghosted blocked and all erased to just return again your videos are helping me find things out Wondering if others have had this situation aswell Needing answers please

It almost been 2 years I see signs of my ex that she trying to come back I won't allows it to happen I can't go backward I'm good

No contact helps heal the dumpee. U heal relatively quick. I'm not completely healed but I'm pretty sure I don't want her back

Hey Coach. Thanks for being here ! Right after the breakup I sent a closure message, and I said that I agree that we needed the breakup. What do you think about that? Does this reduces my chances of her getting back? Or the chance that she will move on faster?

Isn't it like the more time goes by, the more they get used to being without you?

Hi coach! Just found your channel and it has been a source of comfort. We broke up on Valentine’s Day after a big quarrel, he wanted to break UP and I initiated the BREAK. He agreed to the one month break. We had a getaway booked for that weekend, I asked if he would still want to go, he said yes. We have lived together for 2 years. He wanted to break up because I was unhappy that he spent too much time on his career. He felt that I did not fit into his new life , new friends, and thought maybe he was not ready to settle down. As we lived together for two years, he thought our rs was losing its spark and we were becoming more like best friends than lovers. He still texted me the next day just to say good morning, and we went ahead with the getaway which happened 3 days later. We did not talk about our issues during that period, just enjoyed the time tgt , and he was sweet and behaved almost like normal. When the getaway ended I realised I had covid. For whatever reason, I decided to stay with him during isolation. I stayed at his place for a week. He took care of me, was caring and loving and often checked up on me. I have just recovered, and when I told him I was going home, he asked if I wanted to stay. I said no. So it’s day one into the actual no contact. Our no contact ends in two weeks. I’m worried I have not been doing this no contact correctly. How can I serve the next two weeks of no contact in the best way without messing up?

He's so wise.

More long distance relationship ex back videos please

Everything you just explain was true👍thanks you're cool dude☺

Jeeeezuz!! I’m dyin here! It’s so hard! I keep replaying coach lees videos! Over and over! When he broke it off he said it was a “hiatus” to deal with his life and now he’s not talked to me for a week! ( 3 wks in break up) I have not texted him but I’m freaking out. Suuuuuuuucks! I’m not sleeping or eating much at all. I’m so tired and sad. ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

Coach Lee could you do an episode on jealousy? Normally it’s jealousy of people in my case it’s jealousy over a pet which is ridiculous I know but it was serious enough for her to leave. She gave me mixed messages for a very very long time so I stuck around and did everything in the book wrong

I wish I had found these videos 5 months ago. She broke up with me in July of last year but we ended up getting back together about two weeks after and working through a lot of the issues. Then she broke up with me again about 5 weeks ago. I begged and pleaded for the first 3 weeks and she never responded to my texts and ended up blocking me. If I had found Coach Lee earlier maybe I wouldn't have completely ruined it. It's now 2 weeks NC but I know now that she's already been moved on since a week after the break up then found someone else when that didn't work out. It sucks knowing that this is it. I made the person that said they would always love me now hate me.

After a while you just don’t count the days anymore .. it’s been a year or so.. definitely healing from toxicity and continue to ask God for guidance and peace

I'm staying strong in "No Contact!" Dam! I'm still having a hard time getting use to not being with her.🥺

Make me your student coach 🙏.. you are indeed a guru, a healer

God and Coach Lee thank you so much just 4 days of no contact and I'm very very fine...I can't even believe it moreover, I'm considering moving on and even if she reache out I will not accept her back 😍