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❤️🔥🇮🇱✡️🦅✝️the daughter and dog is still with me. The Daughter knows I have to sell the property. She said she'll help me find another place soon. She agreed to pay the⚡️electric bills, and help with groceries. I'm Blessed the daughter is here to keep company with our dog. 🙏God Bless You ☦️🛐🐕🦺🐾
Run for the hills?????????????????????????????? I will never run just to make this monsters important and powerful I will never run I'm not that weak, I'm not that coward I will stand my own till the end, I'm sick and tired of been scared of this malicious evel people, God is with us to help us Hill
For me, the deepest hurt was my loss of self, and most of all my loss of belief in my own judgement. "If I was so wrong about this person, of all people, what can I believe?" It made me a virtual recluse.
I feel this so hard. But i also remember how confident I was before and now I'm excited to return to my whole self. Doing all the things they belittled me for. Good luck, things will be better for you 🙏🏽
I was with a girl for the last 3 years. I have always been supportive emotionnaly and financially and loyal to her. And she was insisting on loyalty. I've always seen her like a good person we were planning to make our parents to meet each other to officialize our relationship and next step was marriage. Yesterday she came back from a trip and she told me that she's no longer sure with officialzing our relantionship i asked why and she responsded that when she was on a trip last month she had met an ex and it had awaken, she promised me that they kissed each other and nothing more had happened. I feel emotionnaly and mentaly broken. How can someone who insists on loyalty can do such things ? And the hardest thing is that a part of me wants to forgive her.
@@84848AR That's a good question. I don't know. It took me years to permanently sever myself from a toxic personal relationship. The complexities of having to deal with that at work must be life and soul draining as well. My heart goes out to you. Stay brave. Protect your Peace 🕊️.
I've been tempted to step back in the arena, be able to look in her eyes, hold her one last timeand when I go to walk out the door, tell her goodbye (knowing I'll never see her again). I realize it's not advised to do that but I need to say goodbye my way, the right way). 😢
@tyronebrown5766 How so? please provide supporting details . Narcissists fear abandonment. Thats basically what he's doing. It's a major narcissist injury and the narcissist girlfriend will not ignore it, they hold grudges forever and their revenge is tenfold. l
Most victims of narcissistic abuse find themselves looking at their early relationship with the narcissist, when they felt loved and appreciated. Was that a ruse, or did they just "fall out of love" with you? The painful truth is that you fell in love with someone who was never there.
They never loved us!! The CAN'T!!! They are completely incapable of Love. It's hard to admit but considering the source, it doesn't hurt. I was an object to use for a purpose. But, I'm not an object. So I Made the decision. I ended it with a finality such that he can never question "Why" or the chance that he'll ever be in my life, again.
I can so relate to what you are saying. It was the strangest feeling of something missing, but I didn’t know that he was narcissistic until I broke free after two years of misery and researched his behaviour. I feel like I am so lucky to break free from his spell. I’ve totally blocked and deleted him on everything, removed he’s photos and gifts and erased all trace of him from my house. Worse experience ever, never to be repeated.
Today is the first day I could see that. I don't know what feels worse at this point. Probably this. Because you know the fake person you are craving to connect with. Feel them care for you. That person doesn't even exist
I am not certain why it is so challenging for them to even consider that they have demons. We all have moments and experiences that were painful. A lot of us have the curiosity to wonder why we behave in less than healthy ways and even better we have the courage to face the demons of our past so that we do not carry these into our future relationships.
@@JenniferWrightme2jt Indeed, yet they hate God and consider gods themselves and want a WORSHIP, truly demonic and lost souls, the father of lies is real
What an amazing feeling it is to feel the burden being lifted and the sun shining over your life again when you break the narcissist's chains over you.
Keep a note in your phone about all the shit you hate about that person and how they treated you and look at it whenever you're feeling conflicted. how peaceful life is without them. There's BILLIONS of other guys and girls out there that to actually treat you right... Think of that as the light at the end of the tunnel. Had a kid with one and was with her for 6 years. When the day happened when i got over her leaving me i actually started feeling bad for her@@kerirogers6923
Two years after break up and I have never been so happy.. I enjoy ever day like never before.. But it was a hard journey and many tears and dark desperate nights. I looked at myself and wanted to find out who am I and why did I let this happen.. I'm so happy that I finally love myself!
4 years from my wife who was a narc and knew what to look for this time with a fledging new relationship. As soon as I saw the red flags. I went no contact. I have also kept all messages and texts between us, to counter any smear campaign.
Feel bad if they shared the same feelings for you at first! They never loved you and doesn’t know what love is! So don’t feel bad at all because even if you get back together you will end up with another broken heart because you’re expecting love in return which they don’t know and don’t have to give so relax you are blessed!
I agree with this, I loved her very very deeply and still so, bit was also forced to walk away they treated me appallingly they knew what they were doing, and I still ask now why ? Why did the do this,I don't know if they ever loved me, it is incredibly painful the pain is dreadful a constant aching, I've no idea what they feel do they feel bad do they know what they have lost when they must know you're a decent human being all I did was love her and adore her and I did 😢
@@John-jq7xt God is waking you up, and helping you to know your self and appreciate what you have , we all survived the pain and suffering I am coming from the future and telling you you will get over it if you only remember how bad they treated you and how stupid is a man or woman when they give everything to make someone happy and get hurt in return, they don’t deserve you and you will meet someone who loves you for who you are, it’s a changing point in your life embrace the change and when you get over it you will be stronger and more beautiful and happy.
Wrong. The other way to beat them at their own game is to emulate them and their personality disorder. I defeat narcs by becoming a narc. It excites attracts and frustrates the narc all simultaneously. Everyone doesn’t have the heart or stomach for it, but it is effective for them to say that someone else believes they’re more important than the narc
@@RubenMachado-l2n Yeah. Revenge was fun for a minute but I had to get back to adulting instead of behaving like an adolescent individual, indefinitely. My discard is still fresh, ✌🏽 weeks, and I miss my hoovering narc a lot but when I discovered I was battling someone with the emotional IQ of a teenager, I plotted my exit strategy and discarded my narc. I’m upset but at least I can say I got a few good licks 👊🏽 in too 😂😂😂
When I left I went straight into a no contact strategy. I turned off my phone and took a break from social media, so it didn't take long for her to realize I was leaving for good. A few days after I left she showed up where I lived to talk. She was teary eyed and tried to convince me that I had misunderstood the cause of our fight and she hadn't tried to pressure me into a situation that I was not comfortable with (gaslighting). The closest thing to an apology she offered was (and I am quoting here) "I'm sorry I upset you." which is just a dressed up way of saying I am sorry you got mad. I had already decided I was done with the relationship but this just solidified it, because I knew she was setting the ground work for the narrative going forward. She admitted no wrong doing and covertly blamed me for the fight and I knew that if I went back that within the next few weeks/months she would bring up my leaving and how much it hurt her and ultimately get me to apologies for the whole affair. This past September marked my 8th anniversary of when I escaped, I am now married to a wonderful woman and have three kids. I am posting this so that if anyone who is going through this and happens to reads this, I want you to know there is hope ,you can escape, and it does get easier. Best to you I am praying for you.
Agreed, if they do, it is a real step toward improvement, because they don't ever apologize. It can mean a conversation hopefully, but sometimes it will take more time. @@sharonbice7490
@@Evermore2017I can answer that. I think our healing and spiritual journeys never end. I successfully walked away for the final time over 2 years ago. She has been reaching out and I've had success in gray rocking with my short replies. I loved this externally beautiful girl with all my might. The funny thing is, a genuine sincere apology and a show of accountability would do wonders for her. I'm a man. I need refresher courses so that's why I'm still here.
They know what they are doing to you. I didn’t even know what I was dealing with until I looked at his behaviors and googled it seriously. I was utterly shocked and asked God to help me break free from him and that trauma bond omg the stronghold is so surreal. My prayers is that anyone with a narcissist be delivered from their grip and hypnotic trance demonizing behaviors
I was an atheist before I endured narcissistic abuse. I would read comments like this and roll my eyes. Now I understand. At the end, at my lowest, I prayed for help. Even though I'm not a fully devout believer, it definitely felt like I wasn't alone anymore when I asked God to help me see what I couldn't see.
@@fflesYou speak my experience. After getting Hoover-ed the final time I joined Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families.. I had to reach for a higher power to help me navigate this insane pain.
They called me greedy, and i walked away from their financial support and a 15k inheritance 😂 that's how much my self respect is worth. No amount was worth the crap they made me endure.
Numbers. Twenty- nine numbers he'd gotten each time I had blocked him over a 9 & a half year period. I even blocked his mom's landline #!!! And his work laptop #. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@suzanne4396 😳 I think it would have been safer to just hire a cleaner to take out the trash if you know what I mean. That's absolutely insane what you endured
If you’re doing No Contact correctly, you won’t know about their Hoovers. If you’re seeing social media posts, you’re not doing no contact correctly. All avenues and access to you must be completely blocked, ALL avenues must be shut down! No contact isn’t a joke or a game. Recovery and healing depends on it.
The only access they have to me is seeing these narcissistic awareness talks ,which she hates ,other than that ,there's absolutely no contact ,and I don't share my life or pics on social media 🎉😊
Hardest part: Discovering supposed friends who are flying monkeys Most gratifying part: Seeing the stunned look on a former flying monkey's face when the realization hits that they are the new scapegoat after you leave.
Oh absolutely! I was the office scapegoat only because I always tried to take the high road. I retired after 10 years and no contact with any of them. My covert boss was already devaluing me before I left because she expected me to leave at 65, but my last day she asked 4 times if I would come full in when they were short on help! I didn't even respond. I treated her the way I always wanted to but couldn't bc she was boss. Lol
Exactly, me and my second sister were the scapegoat. We went no contact and my first sister (eldest) and brother (3rd child, i am the youngest) were the golden child. But when we went no contact slowly my second brother became the scapegoat. Now my mom and eldest sister now make my brother and his wife's life hell.
That happened to me but it was entire support groups that turned on me. The previous year he had gotten me to stop going to our support groups and spent that time setting me up. I tried to rejoin and i think it scared him that I'd discover the narrative. So he went hard on how I "wasn't doing enough to get better, unlike him, may as well not go because there was no helping me". He dumped me when It was clear i wasn't going to let him manipulate me and gaslight me anymore. I tried to share my truth and feelings about how i was suicidal and he mocked me for it, then later humiliated me publicly with verbal insults. If anybody believed me, they were quickly reeled in tby the rest of the support group. The entire group turned on me, said i was smearing his name and trying to assassinate his character. They all knew i was fully dependent on him, had nowhere to go, and not a single one of them even reached out to see if i was ok, to this day. The people who swore up and down that i was so important and part of the "family" had no problem turning their back and nose up at me. Because i dared paint a picture of someone who was nothing like they saw. His ability to manipulate everybody as a covert vulnerable narcissist really gets to people and they believe. Plus he uses his ADHD as the shield for why he's so unable to have a good life. Nobody wants to believe someone with that diagnosis is an a-hole. Nobody wants to admit they too know how to manipulate.
@ophilianecr the thing to remember is that when you have extricated yourself from that, he will turn on one of them. Narcissists have to have a scapegoat, once you're gone it will be one of them. It happened to me with a work group
The smear campaign was relatable. After she posted about me publicly trying to embarrass me and play victim, people that only knew her through me or had been my friend in the past were commenting and liking her posts about me. I guess she helped me weed out the fake in the end.
Yep. Those people aren’t your people and they too have blindfolds on. The time will come when the blindfold falls though. And don’t give a shit what people think of you. Put your hand over your heart. You know you’re a wonderful person with a lot of love inside ❤
None of them matter. Social media is for low IQ people that do not understand the deception of pretending people that type all day are actually friends.
I don’t even give a shit if they feel like they’re winning. In fact it’s better they do because they’re more likely to go away and leave me alone entirely.
Ding ding ding the more they are around searching for misery to accompany them just shows they are LOSING. Let's hope they can give themselves some tough love & pull their life together. The best thing they can do is move on & stop giving attention to the very people who believe they are obsessed 🙃 prove us wrong & get a life
When I mentioned to somehow how the narcs in my office were complaining about how quiet I had become, I was advised that "they only miss their plaything. It has nothing to do with you" and it helped me to realise that I can never go back to mingling with these people.
Stay away from anyone who stays in contact with the narc- even if they were your friends first, or they are your own family. I had some old friends that just weren’t good friends all along cuz they’ve been triangulated. I walked away for 3 years, tried to rekindle the old friendship with one, one I thought was my good friend, and it turns out they all act awkward, because they still converse with the narc and his new supply. I also found out his new supplier is a bully, and so my old friend is afraid of her. Block delete never speak to again.
I had this happen. Was with my covert narcissist ex for nearly a year. Higbkove bombing and I fell.in love. First 6 months was great but then slowly due to his emotionally unavailability I was unsure. He had just moved in and first Valentines day he was speaking to his manger at our meal and didn't send flowers or card. This hurt me and I ran out in the night. We did start seeing each other but had another argument as he belittled me. I dumped him and was getting better. Then 7 weeks agter he turned up at my door saying he wanted to check he was OK. We kissed and slept together event though he said he was dating again. I had that hit of him that made me feel like I loved him. He ghosted me and after 7 days I told him straight. He then rang Mr and told me to stop saying bad things about him ad it old him he got his revenge. Then I started to tell.him I loved him. He said I don't love you anymore and that the kiss meant nothing even though he slept with me after. The sex felt like he didn't want me to enjoy just get him off. So I then blocked him as to be told your not loved and that he felt nothing. Like why did he come.back?? I think he was hurt that I called him out and knew that he came for his revenge but I felt manipulated and so was saying sorry . What do you think he will do now? We only argued 3 times but he would give me silent treatments but then would blame me for the poor communication we had.
I've been married to a narcissist since 2001, we had kids but I always struggled with why I was never good enough for her to love, create home for her kids, and be a wife. This week I found out she had been seeing her friend that shes always know. I always had an idea she loved him because I had seen an interaction with him before we married. The ultimate betrayal was she was having my children lie to me that she was taking my kids over to his home for 5 years. My kids broke down telling me.
How old are your kids and what is your ambition at the moment? Do you want a divorce? Do you want to wait till your kids grow up and protect the family further? Do you think that she will change? My brother in law is a good guy, he married my sister that has some narcissistic traits (She can be very aggressive, degrading, insulting and very dominating, cant apologise etc.). Her ex boyfriend is an successful footballer and despite the fact that she is married now with two kids, she is still connected with him via internet platforms. I also think that she is still in love with him. Funny and sad thing is that her ex treated her badly and the husband is treating her really well. My sister is very materialistic, her todays husband is also a wealthy guy now. I am a poor guy that is living with our mom, and she is treating me like I am some kind of insect that needs to be trodden. She is ashamed of me my whole life and its a big burden for me. Curent situation is, i blocked her and we have no contact for about 4 months i guess. I also dated a female narcissist last year. She treated me very well at the start but after 2 months it became more and more hell. I actually understood pretty fast that something is wrong about her personality but i didnt know about narcissism back then.
I still remember when my dad used us as an excuse to meet up with his mistress at the park. When we got in the car to leave, he turned around and said to us, “don’t tell your mom.” I hate that he put us in that position, and that he only wanted to take us to the park bc he wanted to meet up with his mistress. Maybe your kids feel the same way.
For me Its AlWays Been Pity For The Other Supply Except The Ones That Know he Is Married I am Gone EMotionally,. Out All The Way Next Month Been A Long 8 Years But The Healing Is Complete Time To Move On 😊
It is much more painful when your life is almost used up by these undescribable humans! I've spent more than half of my precious life with one of these beings as a husband. But GOD taught me to start with "no contact" step. At 64, the culture, and society manipulations are the narcissist's fuel in eastern part of Nigeria! Please pray that GOD heals me😢
It all started with lots of flowers, chocolates and expensive dates. Even promises of marriage and family within a week of dating. I was overwhelmed and thought I was in a fairy tale. Only after I left the narc, I realised that all of this was an act to trap me, even marriage was a way to trap me 😢
They are a lot Narcissists out there trust an believe. I went out on 25 dates in two years span I would said 18 were crazy ass Narcissists Iam yall these demons are everywhere 😮
"Hurt themselves trying to hurt u." After conning me of 7000$ + material to open a nightclub (an illegal one) he brought me to court to get a protective order bc he didn't want to repay me my money. N brought to the attention of the state that he was operating an illegal club .... needless to say the state came down on him!!!! 😂😂😂😂
I dont want to call myself a Victim of a narcissist because, having to live someone's life for a few months or years , compared to having to live with that demon, does not make you a victim, it makes them one. I now understand human tactics more & it taught me to avoid specific people . I now trust my gut instinct . I now know that toxicity can also run in the family. I call myself lucky to have had enough mental strength to move on and find someone much, much better. Good luck to you all.
I've realized one of my close friends has elements of narcissism. Over the last few years, I've realized we are incompatible and we get into big disagreements and go our own ways. Then a month later he'll start messaging me stuff I want to hear or will see each other at social gatherings or he invites me to social media groups to start talking again. Once he feels things are normal again he'll find ways to put me down or try to make me feel like I am wrong for my beliefs. I defend myself and realize we just aren't compatible anymore and split till he tries to pop back in. I've recognized the pattern and am done messaging him and giving him conversations.
I’m currently minimizing my time and energy. To include not helping with things I normally wouldn’t have a problem doing. Also maintaining my composure and keeping conversations minimal. Nothing in-depth just what is relevant to the moment. I’m burned out and not able to focus on anything else but myself and children.💯
I can relate. The experience has created a general fatigue in me. I was pretty social for 40 years and a bit of a chatterbox. But now I just don't have the energy for conversation with people, don't speak with the same conviction I used to, and I'm suspicious of everyone now.
Every word that you speak describes the last 18 years of the mirage the illusion the relationshit that I believe I had. It was so difficult to verbalizeit and put it into words but I’m glad I found your channel and you’re telling my story, thank you.
Narcisists feeling that they loosing you will find another person and then manipulate you in to depression. They don't care. They have ni empathy and once they have new boyfriend. They will ruin previous one for reactions he had at her. Narcisist woman would think it was criticism and humiliation. But saddest part is that when narcisists demand compassion. You give it to them and build their confidence. And then they don't care when you are down.
Are we living the same life? It's so crazy to me how we all experience the same thing with these people but then again it lets me know I'm not alone and I'm not crazy
I’m not great at journaling, but over the past 6 years I have written several entries about my relationship with her in my phone’s notes app. And WOW did that help me when I went back to look for patterns. The veil was torn away and I finally saw what’s been happening for 25 years. I am no longer fooled by the dwindling reinforcement, and that has completely dried up as a result. Yet she STILL claims she wants to stay married “for the family.” How about some consistent actions to back it up, princess?
Behind The Mask I know exactly how it feels, and how it all seems so unreal; oh, the things they break and steal; just how will we ever heal. At first you’re simply the best, to this, I can strongly attest; then the love goes away, I guess, and you can’t make sense of the rest. In the beginning you cannot see it, then you realize something doesn’t fit; so you gather your thoughts as you sit, only to find they will never admit. They take a piece of your heart, and they attempt to tear it apart; you will not know it from the start, but their intent is to abuse and discard. So, if you are able to, cut all ties, and finally rid yourself of their lies; if you can forget that rage in their eyes, you’re on your way to much brighter skies.
It's amazing how accurate every step you covered actually describes the EXACT things I went through with the narcissist in my life years ago. I wasn't aware of NPD back then, but I still somehow was able to deduce what was going on to a pretty precise degree. I realized that this person was mentally ill, disordered, etc. and realized that every action, tantrum, silent treatment, punishment, lie, empty promise, blame shift, deflection, etc. all boiled down to the same thing: a need to restore the status quo. Everything she did was to keep me spinning my wheels and stay in the same spot and to avoid changing our relationship in anyway. It always had to remain where she held all of the power, leverage, dominance, convenience, blamelessness, victimhood, and narrative control. I wasn't allowed to have any of it, no matter the circumstance. Because of this realization, I was able to predict exactly how she would react when I inevitably stood up to her and didn't get fooled by the onslaught of bullshit attempts to rope me back in. I knew she would stop at nothing, lie about anything, promise me anything, etc. to trick me into "getting over it" and then would only act vindictive if I gave in. It then went exactly like you said after I politely told her I needed space. - Fake sympathy and apologize and give empty promises to change. I didn't get fooled by it and said "thank you, but I still need time to decide how I feel" and she IMMEDIATELY resorted to threatening me, saying she would "never try that again". Because clearly, she just thought saying a bunch of vague platitudes would trick me into thinking things would be different and was shocked and insulted that I didn't fall for it and hand her everything she demanded. - After seemingly being "mad" and vowing never to "try again", she went through my friends to try to reach out to me and have them tell me that she missed me and just wanted to talk (yet never tried once to text me just to have a cordial talk... ) - Never took advantage of any opportunity I gave her to be respectful and friendly to me. Despite saying she missed me, any time I would send her a generic Snapchat, she wouldn't respond. I wished her happy birthday on facebook and she deliberately liked every single post other than mine. These are all DEFINITELY ways that you act when a person who you miss dearly reaches out to you, right? She couldn't handle talking to me in a respectful manner and just enjoying my friendship. She only wanted me to engage with her in a way where we could have "the talk" about our relationship status. - I let down my guard ONE time when a friend told me that she was wanting to talk to me. I (stupidly) texted her, and we had one nice conversation and then right on cue: the next day, she texts me to tell me that she "changed her mind" and no longer needs our friendship. So after three months of "missing" me, we have one nice conversation and it apparently changed her entire mind... uh huh. Clearly, she just thought I wanted back in and that she had the leverage back so now was her chance for revenge. - Claims victimhood one last time. Tells me that she can't believe I would "completely ignore her and shut her out"....COMPLETELY ignoring all instances where I reached out to her and she didn't respond (or the fact that I never once ignored a single message) and COMPLETELY disregarding the fact that SHE was actually the one who was guilty of giving the silent treatment more times than I can even count. She now says she can't believe what I did to HER and that SHE doesn't need this "roller coaster" anymore. Then goes on to say she doesn't understand why I ever needed space (in the same breath as claiming that our relationship was a roller coaster). It feels so frustrating to think about, but it's honestly just sad and pathetic when you watch them spiral like this and grasp at straws trying to manipulate you instead of just relaxing and being a nice person. Clearly, the ENTIRE act was all a game for her to "win me back"....just to create an opportunity to destroy me. They try to lure you in with a false sense of security and acting apologetic, only to spring their trap the second you let you guard down. It's all because their ego cannot handle losing. They feel like you walking away from the relationship is an insult to their dominance and authority, so even if they claim to not want anything to do with you, they'll try like hell to lure you in just so they can end things on THEIR terms and feel like the winner.
I find the main problem is that people give narcissist, too much power and credit. They are weak and pathetic. All you have to do is stay strong, be vigilant and remove all power from them. Never take the bait and do not engage. Show them how insignificant they really are.
I think people with generous spirit, have a higher chance of being taken in, and because of that, are forced to learn to adopt some of their characteristics to protect ourselves. Simply asking. ‘Is it me? ‘ is something a narc will never do! You can unpeel their traits, and be the person you always were, once you see that those protective habits, are necessary, but NOT permanent.
I totally get this. I didn’t realize how much like him I had became until I finally left for the 100th and final time. Now I’m trying my best to control those horrible qualities that I have adopted out of a survival tactic..😢
i commend you for this statement cause im almost certain on all these videos that 90% commenters are just looking for validation for their pain without ever looking at themselves and how they contributed to it. many are probably narcissists themselves or have it in them but once they hear what these kind of videos have to say they feel vindicated and think of themselves as 100% victims. everybody has their own truths and perspective and i feel sometimes these videos only cater to those that only listen to what they want to hear
@@user-ii3vn8tn3q I am a behavioral therapist and all humans have 'some' narcissistic traits. It's normal. If you have genuine empathy and compassion it's very unlikely that you are a narcissist.
I love your videos!! As a newly vetted narc abuse specialist myself I advise every person I come across male and female that ask me for advice to never underestimate the narcissist. In my case my ex hubby narc decided as I'm leaving the relationship, to stalk me, then try to kill me after his manipulation didn't work. He then went on to stage an illegal coup on me with a whole police department and two CPS agents manipulating my son to say I was his abuser when I was the one protecting my son physically getting in the middle of my ex screaming he's going to throw my son off our balcony and causing a bruise/open wound. I never could prove this. My rights as a mother, domestic violence victim when I did finally seek help all were violated and walked all over in the name of my ex who was always treated like a hero with me treated like a crazy. Well jokes on them as this year I obtain the police reports and video footage of all the "proof". With full vindication for myself from almost every single person who worked in his favor doing some unethical illegal or straight up savage crap to get him off from his consequences. When your ex gets to tell the arresting officer to "hold on" while he calls his mom then gets to stay on the phone with her in cuffs all the way to his lock up I'm thinking....wow...the manipulation is soooo real and good. The force is strong with this one. There is a book, public speaking engagements, and all to be had. I've learned from some great voices in my corner who all tell me to divorce him first as my net worth is about to blow.
I still think my ex has or at least had true feelings for me. She had a lousy childhood, so I know her ego was impacted. However, I also feel that her Narc is not in her control. So there I can't risk any interaction with her at all. No contact is the only answer.
After 15 years of marriage, he openly started to have an affair, expecting me to go along with it and cater to our kid and the household while he had fun. Erm, no. I moved out a month later. His new happiness lasted until he found out she wasn’t living as grand as he thought and he’s had several girlfriends since. I am living my best life now, going on holidays and enjoying myself. Luckily, I have always kept my job, even though it was hard to juggle being a mom, a wife and work, but now I am financially stable although he is in a much better position since he could focus on his career only.
@@tonyp.bahama9368Financially. My narc ex husband is too as his 3rd wife works full time, gets good $, came with property & he’s self employed & hid, built protection around his investments, stocks & shares & hasn’t, didn’t pay me what he owed me
Mine groomed my replacement while I was going through cancer treatment. He married her in the middle of it all with nary a goodbye nor ending the relationship. Just sidled out like a Seinfeld episode. He lived with me all through chemo while she must have been packing to move here from out of state. He pretended to care about me but continued to use me the whole time. He definitely monkey-branched me as he wasn't going to really leave me until she was firmly in place. He did try and hoover me early on. The first Thanksgiving with her, they were only married in September, he is home newly married and he texted me a "Happy TG!" and sent me pics of his dogs. I just said it back but did not engage. At that point, I didn't know he was married yet. BTW he formally ended the relationship six weeks after he was married and I still didn't know. When I found out I was so traumatized and devastated and before I knew about NPD I BEGGED for a shred of humanity from basically a subhuman. I finally wrote him an email and sent him info on NPD and went NC. That was almost a year ago and I have heard nothing and if I never hear from him again it will be too soon.
You got me in tears. My narc aborted my first born behind my back in July 2021, and I was so lost smh the old me died that day. I was locked in on helping her and being a good role model for her daughter. She had control after that , and we kind of had a FWB thing until she saw me being outside and doing my thing. I was on the way to Cali in May 2022, and she did exactly what you said. I told her in order for us to get back together she needs to get in therapy, and we can both meet in the middle and try again. Was so optimistic, and we were doing fine (to my knowledge) but she ended up doing the same thing again behind my back 😞. Been messed up ever since , had no idea what a narcissist was until my therapist got me hip and hearing you break this down has me in tears smh. Glad I’m out now , thank you for waking me up . 💪🏿
Father was a Malignant cut off 11yrs ago & mother was a Covert/enabler cut off 5yrs ago. Sis was a flyin monkey, I cut her off 25yrs ago! Childhood trauma memories returned 11yrs ago. For a 2nd X after Serious head injuries 29Yrs ago. Following the 1st Time those memories haunted me. My Life has flourished since turning my back. A built a Family of my, Own. Wife, daughter & purchased my, Own house unassisted! As their lives ALL spiraled. By pairing up w/others worse than what they had before? They ALL splintered & shattered… My REVENGE has been living my Life!
My family is like that too. I've got some flashblacks which kinda show up a bit why, where and from what and who I got trauma. I gave up on people, don't want to chase and force anyone.
7:16 When my narc ex fiance told me he had a new girlfriend I basically responded with "cool story, bro," especially because I legit didn't care! His current supply is another narc. 🤣😂🤣😂
I've gone 3 years now contact with my narcissistic parent and I never knew such peace or tranquility was possible without him around. I'm never going back. The freedom is a true gift.
The narcissist in my life (let's call her Ethel) and her best female friend (let's call her Mildred) and I were a close friend group of three. Ethel love-bombed me and we became involved and it was only then that I learned Ethel is a narc, so I told Mildred what I'd been through and that I was planning to go no contact, as I could no longer stand Ethel's toxic behaviour. Ethel started the smear campaign and Mildred didn't believe her lies. Ethel got angry about this and Mildred saw the narcissistic rage first-hand and, as a result, also went no contact. Ethel lost two, close, long-standing friends in as many weeks due to her own behaviour and Mildred and I are still really good friends.
This really opened my eyes! she told me she wanted to treated like a princess and even I paid majority of it sadly, because she couldn't manage money. She even took money from her 401k her 3rd time for her Switzerland vacation! I tried to help but she is just way to stubborn, so I left her to organize my mind and wow she message me like crazy. I gave her 3wks break, but it was already to late she moved on to her new guy. This happened just recently and I was super sad, but I also felt like it was a good thing for me to leave and I'm still healing.
Made me chuckle, my Narc ex wife was one of 4 sisters all living in strange fragmented marriages,it’s only now after learning about narcissism that I realise that they are all coverts and their mother too,the funny part is that they were all named after royal queens and princesses ,says it all really.
My parents are narcissist,i have had enough and i left them once for all,but it still haunts me all my childhood trauma ,no one in this wide world hurted me so much rather than my parents
Well my husband of 9 yrs told me he was too good for me 3 months ago a week later I got protection order had it and divorce papers served on his birthday he has been living with his brother with no toilet no water no electric and drunk the entire time karma is great
Once Im living outside of the area of my family, Im going no contact with two of my relatives. Both are covert narcissists and never apologize or see that they were ever wrong in any situation. Which creates a very toxic and energy draining environment. Im the black sheep of my entire family. Im not into drama and I just want to be left alone. Too many people let that behavior go in blood relatives but Ive had such a past of crap relatives that I dont care that they are related to me. Its about respect.
Aauugghhhh I got the fake proposal with a huge ring, empty promises and what you’re saying is 100% facts. It’s all lies and deceit, manipulation, you name it. He didn’t love me and I absolutely felt like a business deal, he hated me bc I figured him out and wouldn’t play the game any longer. He’s now with a gutter tramp. 1. When they show you who they are, believe them. 2. Leave them where they’re at. If they constantly straying towards trash, that’s where they’re comfortable, so enjoy! 👋🏼😂
I'm a 61 year old mother and I believe my 33-year-old daughter has been gaslighting me and maybe narcissistic as well, to what degree I don't know. One thing I do know for sure is that she's a habitual liar. For the past 4 years I've been a truck driver and supporting her and my four grandchildren when she got mixed up with 2 really bad guys, and I came to the rescue. I've been turning and burning the wheels trying to provide and in the meantime having very little time to have a real relationship with her, with them. Or, to have a life for that matter. She hasn't pulled her weight at all and since I'm not there it's very difficult to ascertain to what level that she's doing what she's supposed to be doing. That is until I come home once every 2 or 3months. Every time I go home I've found that my cats have lost a significant amount of weight for example. That's about to end though, I finally found a job locally that I can work at and be home every night, although I'm taking a big cut in pay. This very day, I'm on my way back to my employer with their truck to turn it in and fly home, finally! After all these years. I've had it with my daughter, I've grown resentful I have realized as I've been evaluating the situation and the film has been developing. I just found your channel tonight which is bringing some clarity. So far the videos I've watched sounds like it covers more of a romantic relationship. Can you please cover an adult mother and daughter situation that might help me? I would be very grateful if you could. Thank you so very much.
Most of the narcissist-exposers speak of it on a romantic level, but there are some who take it further. I highly recommend Dr Ramani and Danish Bashir, both here on RU-vid. Dr Ramani tends to have longer videos and is well known as an expert in her field. Danish Bashir is not as accomplished, accredited, and and we'll known (as far as I'm aware), but he has done his research and was victimized by narcissist father and grandfather. They are, easily, two of the top RU-vidrs I can recommend in general, but especially for non-romantic relationship videos since they're two of the few I've known to do so.
Being that I have autism, I do feel it important to note that some traits of autism overlap with narcissism, but the key differences are that autistic people don't typically lie and typically feel bad when they hurt someone, especially someone they care about.
There Are Other Channels That Deal With Family Members The Remedy Is The Same NO CONTACT Where This Is Not Possible, It Be Comes IMPERATIVE To Set And Keep VERY CLEAR BOUNDARIES No Financial Help No Chores Done, No Bed Or Couch To Sleep On DisRepect, They Must Leave The House It Is Possible To Make A Narc Tow The Line And Do What They Are Supposed To Do And To Not Abuse, But It Requires Strict Adherence In Us Setting And Keeping Strict UnbendAble Boundaries It Takes Time SomeTimes To Learn This Art, But Once It Is Learned We Are No Longer PlayThings For The Demons That ReSide In Them And They ARE Demons Peace To you On This Journey It Will Help Immensely To ReMind yourself That her Behavior Is Not PerSonal, It Is Demonic And Every PerSon In Their Life Will Be Treated The Same I Feel For The Kids I am In A Similar Situation And Knowing The Grands Are Being Affected Hurts
They will try to return but just think if they try to return to you then they have done this with everyone in their past who they think may be some supply . When I walked out just before Christmas he actually believed I was going to my family and I’d return . If they have someone else to rely on then they won’t try but the moment they are without company then they will be right on it. These people are complete users , that’s the absolute bottom line . The longer you interact with them the more insidious their behaviour becomes over time . They are cowards , fickle and play the catatonic dumb victim remaining quiet whilst others believe you were the problem . It’s pitiful … I finally walked away with the only emotion of pity for them as I desensitised over a period of almost 7 years. They become so predictable . Never listen to their words observe their patterns . Be strong for they are not , always remember that, hold pity in your heart as you leave because that’s what you should truly feel for these sick people . Always remember their vile actions were never personal to you , if anything you made a huge impact on them hence why they abused you and would have always continued too…. Sent from Manchester uk
The "Posting things about movies, or tv shows that we bonded over" rings soo true and it feels like something my partner would do if I left. After the 6 years we've been together and the only thing we have bonded over is TV. Orignally it was weed. But I stopped smoking and he literally said straight to my face one time that of how much he loved the version of me when I was always getting high with him and misses bonding over it . Other than those two things, we've bonded over nothing else.
Also as Dr Ramani says, once you go no contact with the Narcissist, don’t be on social media under your real name. It’s almost like being in the witness protection program & using your real name so you can be found. I have an older sister who is a Narcissist. She loved being an only child & never wanted a sibling, let alone a sister. From little on she gaslighted me, & all through growing up was abusive, especially after my father died. She then started to challenge my Mom’s authority saying, “ why should you be in charge here?” She usurped my Mom’s authority and used emotional blackmail, If my Mom didn’t always take her side, she would leave & my Mom wouldn’t see her again. When she got her Facebook account, she suddenly had all my former grammar school classmates on her page. So, I can’t talk to any of them again. When my Mom died, I went no contact & when I’m on facebook I don’t use my real name. Don’t let them know anything about you, your location, etc. They will have to find another victim to abuse. People will then get them mentally and realize what they are. They may try to contact you, even after years of no contact just to see if there’s any chance of getting back into your life. Don’t answer them because it opens the door for more communication & makes them hopeful they can weasel their way back into your life. My life with my husband only improved 110% since we kicked her to the curb. Best decision ever. 😉
Hello. Can you share a bit more please. How long ago did you cut off connection with your sister? Is it a good idea to try save relationships like just communicating with short msgs of Happy birthday/year and so on? I've just feagured out in this year that my much older sister is narcissist. Did you cut off connection with relatives too? Or how did you solve it? I mean that point "it's your closest person/last alive family". Or did you share with relatives who is she? Did you have revenge from her? My one is pretend to be a strong believer and not afraid to use it in manipulation/belittle me all my life. I'm just so terrified that hard not to think about it. I see her like a monster now, but how could I use her advices in my life...
There is no point sending birthday messages to a person whose goal is making you believe a fake version of reality and sabotaging your boundaries and self-trust to turn you into a source of supply. Narcissist = no contact. Unless they are a very rare unicorn who, through extraordinary circumstances, realized they have a problem and is trying to heal.
I can't be bothered(hardly)with social media, so it doesn't matter to me what dad(narc) thinks, says or does. He ignores me there, anyway. His loss! I don't need his approval anyway!
I know a narcissist they would tell me not to do something but they would do it them self’s I call them hypocrite. They would tell me that was a low blow what you said to me than they say you should apologize and I said never because you low blow a lot of people in your life. They don’t messed with me that much because I know exactly what to say to them. And they can’t make me feel something that is not even there. I can’t get gas lighted there little mind games don’t work on me
When you are out of the disorder you don’t think anymore in polarities. This is no game where you have winners or losers. You just need to focus on you and love yourself and pursue your objectives.
Everything they do to us is never their fault. Who else are they to blame for their future actions if and when you leave? It will never be them. Don't just walk away... RUN!
Decades later? My mother started trying to get me to come back and give him and the family another chance. I said no. She tried lying to me. I called her out on it, then reviewed all the abuses I faces from him and the family. She replied, "You need to let that go." Needless to say, I've all but gone no contact with her also. I only give her the bare minimum and only when I feel like it. I've since learned that 'inverted narcissism' fits her pretty well... so I'm grateful that I stood my ground and refused.
wasn't a competition. It was my life and did not think asking someone to talk to me or to say hello was asking too much but, obviously, that is too much to ask of people.
My ex had self reflection and doesnt like what he does, there were moments when it would hit him that say, he didnt have five crazy exs, he had one common denomonator, and he literally slumped and looked so broken when he realised it, but the moment was so brief and the following attacks twice as bad as before, same when he realised hurting me made him feel shit, I had to point out it was empathy not an attack from me as he couldnt find a way to frame it other than I used that he was hurting me in places already broken "against him to make him feel bad" when I explained the ten hour rages were causing literal damage to my brain, breaking it in places already broken before by abuse and once he realised it, it was gone and the worst of the abuse followed in the next few days until I ran :( I had to explain it was not me, it was that he felt empathy for me and it hurt him that he was hurting me.... it broke my heart. Its why I tolerated shit from him I would never have otherwise, I had never seen someone so obviously cluster b show shit like that, never seen one try and change behaviour, I was so proud of him and it broke my heart to run
not if they are self aware and as dr ramnini says, a unicorn. self aware and lock themselves away to not hurt people, its makes me so sad @@emilykathleenn
After mine tried the Hoover, promising the world he said he never meant to hurt me. I said BS you knew exactly what you were doing then listed everything. Didn't hear from him again after that. Thank god.
Parents are really the ones who have power, authority znd experience to not create a narcissist... Now, once behind an adult, the narc a really dangereux. Because they've trained on their parents. And narc are just golden child that parents lets grow whithout any boundaries, sanction...
Narcs will never leave their pray especially the psychopathic ones. Protect yourself, beware of their creatures the flying monkeys. Keep you plans to yourself, trust no one, make your move and run like hell. Good Luck.
Yes so true , I left my ex narcissist. It’s been 2 years and I gave him a car 3 years ago, lol I seen today that he was still riding around in the same car😂 I laughed and it made me realize that he has no change
Been almost 2 years since getting out of the npm relationship. Such a crazy experience. Had no idea such things could exist. I see the world entirely different now. Although the discomfort was quite high, going through it is well worth it. These videos are great. Thank you.
