When You Have Value, People Will Test You... (HIGH VALUE TRAITS) 

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Recently this stuff has been clicking for me. For years I avoided socialising and put on a restrictive front to hide a lot of my personality. It's been mind-blowing to now see that authentically sharing things I previously hid in fear of rejection has had the opposite effect of making people more approving and attracted to me. Thanks so much Julien, it's taken years but the changes are amazing.

"What will get you ahead is self-encouragement, not self-attack". Thank you🙏

Couldn't agree more Julian. Men have been lead to believe that they need to change themselves to get the women and then wonder why months later the situation is toxic and she ain't cooperating. To pass all test you have to accept who you are and stand on it! Stay Focused Guys!

“Be inspired by what’s possible but don’t compare and self attack” 🙌🏻 thanks for the video, I really needed this!

Exactly, you draw attention naturally instead of seeking attention, a completely different paradigm

I know this subconsciously (and now consciously lol) and I think it’s a big part of the reason why I don’t put forth my best effort in life. Serious self honesty time right now. I don’t like confrontation, I don’t like being uncomfortable or making other people uncomfortable. So I don’t wanna put myself in a position to where I’m gonna be confronted and get tested everywhere because it adds too much stress. It’s not a way that i wanna live. So I’d rather people think I’m sub par and not on their level so that they leave me alone. I’ve experienced it, when i put myself in high value situations, people get fucking brutal man, and that’s when I dip. I don’t wanna deal with any of that. It’s a cold, cold world we live in. I know this is something I have to work on in myself, because I have to reach my potential, but I just don’t like being stressed out all the time and having to keep my guard up. It’s so much more relaxing down at the bottom lol Though I’ve realized recently that when im at my best im 100% a sigma type male. I can put someone in their place just by calmly and assertively talking to them, and I know how to diffuse conflicts really well. I’ve been practicing this to get better at it in the past six months or so and it’s worked out really well. I told a guy who’s above me at my job to grab his balls and start being a manager by getting his crew together. I didn’t yell, I didn’t get angry or emotional, I had a conversation with him, told him something needs to change because decisions that he’s making is making my job harder. We talked through it and he basically kept giving me the runaround so I told him “listen, your guys don’t respect you. That’s why nothing gets done the right way. So I think what you need to do is grab your balls and start being a manager”. I said it to him like I was his counselor lol. And holy shit, things actually changed. I used to think that being loud and aggressive like the stereotypical “alpha male” was the way to go, and for some personalities that is. That can work for some people. For others though, not so much. I have such a calm personality, nobody would take me seriously if I acted all macho and started yelling when I was pissed off. You gotta find what type of assertiveness works for you. Making progress!

I work in a barbershop and more then 50% of the time everyone mostly talks bs super exaggerated. I’ve been speaking truth and people don’t like it and they try to get me to judge them so the attention will be on them but I check myself and not get suck and it gets easier to control myself. This is a clear reminder I am on the right path.

Testing people you don’t know can get you killed from my life experience… listen to this guy, you better be ready for anything. Use respect and courtesy instead of “shit testing,” you’ll find out far more with less possible dire consequences.

The collaborative frame is really powerful. Started using it in the gym and my comfort level tripled.

Honestly man every time I see you my eyes project to me the image of a psychopath and it may be an accurate lens but this video provided me with immense value, this is the most genuine you’ve come off to me yet. I respect you.

The choice vs the reaction. Pure gold Julien. Been watching since the RSD days. Crazy to think "shit testing" is the old term. Literally love you bro

Taking responsibility /ownership for all of yourself and using compassion is a major step!

Damn I needed to hear this. Relationship failed, family failed, friendships failed and I sincerely thought i was the problem. Then i found out these ppl would go behind my back and say that i was better than them and i was a really good hearted person. Dont know why they are so malicious with me but I’m learning how to handle the shit testing of life.

I started tapping into this. Especially with my lady. I always say what I mean & it shakes out relationship for the better I believe. If its challenging that means you're growing. All of it is fun. Even the bad. Stay cool yet open to you first. Some of my personal base presents

There’s a lot of fake coaches teaching a lot of BS out there. This guy is not one of them. Same goes with the whole RSD crew. Appreciate you guys!

Tested is a good sign of the type of person that you are willing and able to be. However, once you understand why you’re always being tested. It will never, not be, annoying to put up with. Yet the frustration that often goes hand in hand with the topic is eliminated. It is common to feel insecure or doubtful. That’s what others want you to feel like, whenever they confront you with a test. Because subconsciously what you have done, or are able to do- has made them feel insecure. Because they see in You, what they realize they do not possess in themselves. These type of people have a habit/cycle of taking their own personal mental insecurities and turn them into feelings of inferiority. ON THEIR OWN. In order to compensate for those feelings. The emotion will change into anger…. Even tho the anger is truly with themself. When this occurs, For some people it can become an involuntary action to lash out at other people. as if the whole confrontation was the other persons fault in the first place. So don’t waste time feeling upset by these peoples misunderstanding’s of you. The fact is, they have poor mental habits and are unaware that they should/could behave in a different manner. If they understood this, they definitely would have already made the adjustments. Because there are plenty of other people similar to them, they don’t feel like any personal improvements are needed. Even though the whole time, they are feeling confused at the way people treat them during a CONFRONTATION. The correlation is never made that they are the only person responsible for their ill feelings- not the people they Test!)

Thank you. This is the first time in my life I've heard exactly what I needed to hear; everything I've been experiencing and having problems with for all my life were in this video and it's the first time something like this has clicked for me. I don't idolize, but I'll give praise where it's due, just before 22 and I finally heard what I need, thank you

I came to this conclusion years ago. In high school I had very few things going for me except for a few things, not so much a "loser" but loser adjacent. And yet for some reason I got some dings and attacks thrown at me by my "friends" that other friends in the group that I considered to be in a similar situation as me didn't get. I always wondered why. With time I realized that the reason was that my friends subconsciously knew I should be doing better for myself, I should be at a higher level but I was not and they were "punishing" me for it. Humans are weird.

Ego is the reason people feel threatened and become competitive. When you're humble and get rid of your ego, you forget about yourself and make it about others.

Humble and honest, what an amazing way to give a lesson Julien

I'm currently following a course by Julia Cameron called 'The Artist Way', which is a course in unblocking your creativity. She pulls up the exact same example where you treat yourself like a child and really pet yourself. I've been doing this for some weeks and I've been much more loving to myself (and my creativity). Interesting to hear you referencing this again. This is gold!

Love the self encouragement, instead of self attack. Self help has lots of undercurrent of self attack, and it can be ironically detrimental to the people who criticize themselves the most

Thank you so much! I needed to hear this. I have decided to take the entrepreneur journey and have recently been exposing myself on social media. Let’s grow! 🔥 2022 is ours 🌹

Spectacular content, much needed in this day and age -Owen

Remember, first of all your intentions have to be good towards others. If you have moral standards, ethics and knowledge, nothing can shake you. If you try to fake being grounded, it will be very soon exposed. These things come naturally and can’t be achieved from a low vibration. True leaders can’t be made in school it’s something that comes from above.

This guy is giving a presentation with bed hair and a old T-shirt... and crushing it! This guy is the shit!

"people don't want perfect" this took a huge load off my shoulders

Beautiful universal rules applicable to pick-up as well. Amazing.

I guess that's the best video about something like that on RU-vid. I've needed 3 years to understand it while I worked on it.

The opening of the video is good. I don´t even have context from where the conversation started, but I can relate to people constantly watching me, and I hate it. My mind is instantly like ¨stop watching me; leave me alone¨ but then I have to tell myself that it comes with the territory.

Hmm, great insights. I believe value begins within, and manifests outwards in the shape of our actions and decisions throughout life. As a result, all value is derived from the actions we provide as individuals. A shit test is really just "show me what you're made of"

The most inspiring part is the old guy sitting down ready to take notes

Wow we come from similar backgrounds (not culturally, I mean childhood wise). I was extremely shy as a kid too but now I’m a social butterfly. In the beginning of my self love journey (which was around 4 or 5 years ago), I just kept putting myself out there to step out of my comfort zone. It did work in the beginning but like you said in another video, that’s only temporary bc you haven’t addressed some deeply held subconscious beliefs and you know what? That was 100% my case. It worked for a lil bit but then I got anxious and started overthinking again and went through this whole dark night of the soul period. But I didn’t give up. I came back stronger than before and kept challenging my own subconscious beliefs that kept overthinking and telling me I’m not good enough to be social or popular and I tried putting myself out there again but this time I stayed true to myself. I wasn’t hiding anything. I was being my goofy, quirky and authentic self. In fact, I was so transparent that I even told ppl I used to be really shy before but I worked on myself so much and look at me now. And this worked. For me to handle social situations now comes naturally. I don’t feel awkward or feel the need to overcompensate by being “extra” or “over the top” all the time (unless I’m in that mood) but I do genuinely enjoy socializing and speaking to lots of different ppl, getting to know them and being entertaining. So yeah that’s how I overcame my social anxiety :) Now I’m just applying these same methods to my deeply held subconscious beliefs towards love and career and it’s actually progressing quite well tbh so I’m happy 🥲

I mastered this as a basketball player. Every time I step on the court, I don’t need to say a word. I coordinate the first game and start executing. And that’s it. And as I’ve built my game and become unstoppable, I get attention from all corners. A quick shift between positive and negative energy all the time. But, I always remain focused and In control of my emotions and focused on the challenge at hand. You can only take an L if you don’t come back stronger.

Thanks Julien! To live is to suffer. A challenge is just an opportunity to accomplish something and love yourself even more

This is the real conversation I enjoy listening to. You are so lax and chill while speaking, amazing. I am working on being secure in my body and owning the stage and having people look at me as a high value individual who isn’t afraid of being challenged. Thank you very much.

Your words really help me to heal myself , I will keep watching you , even if it will take me a long time to be healed . Thank you so much , God bless you ! ❤

You're just a cool cat Julian so comfortable in your skin and it shows. Keep rolling another excellent video

Celebrating the small wins is so huge!! I just attended you and Owens tour here in L.A. I was feeling so embarrassed of my living situation and would ✍ down the little wins like ok raised my hand and asks a few questions. Keeping eye contact longer in the audience and have felt just a huge shift in just that. Celebrating on those small wins are huge!!

Iike this dude... Like a breath of fresh air... Even you talking here naturally theres basically no fuck ups in your flawless fluid speach.... So smooth

Such a free way of living for people with the world on their shoulders

Damn, knowledge bombs after knowledge bombs... As usual Julien, thanks a lot. I would not be the person that i am today if it wasn't for you and Owen. God sent you guys to us

Excellent confirmation of what I knew, nicely summarized and condensed. It's like four years of information condensed into 15 minutes - so you can listen to over and over again to re-inforce like a mental workout. Great presentation.

dude if you're reading this please keep on making videos on what to do or avoid once you've reached a higher value. I mean I would get a little annoyed at the fact that almost all self-help videos are mostly made for people that are just starting to get into self-help which would sometimes set me back when in the mindset of a higher-value person. (Keep up the great work :)

Bro literally answered almost all of my problems lmao, this is gold

Thanks man, I actually benefited from this. Annoying when people test, both men and woman!

Fkn love your work Julien. Also heard that anxiety comes about when we fear or don't believe we have the resources, or are "enough" to deal with the task.

Just about as much value as can be packed in a 15 min video. I found out about you in 2017, but I’ve dug around so much it might as well have been 2012. Appreciate you! 🙏 You’ve always had the conviction, but now its like you can “hear the years” like someone who’s seen it all and is cutting right to what actually matters. Grabbed the HVC presale back in December and looking forward to it. Got quite a few takeaways. 1. This video really hammered home the whole competitive vs collaborative frame thing for me. I used to overthink it because I would wonder if the collaborative frame was a selective blind spot of sorts where you try to delude yourself into thinking everyone is on your side. At first it didn’t seem to jive with full authenticity, because it is possible to walk into an environment and immediately have everyone look down on you and think of you as a pathetic piece of shit, right off the bat. The only way I could reconcile assuming everyone was on your side, by default, with that idea was by assuming that the collaborative frame involved still recognizing that many, many people may not be too enthusiastic about you at first sight, but also involved recognizing that that doesn’t mean much and that they are still mostly on your side but just need to see a bit more value before fully joining your camp. I was thinking about it since your last video with Owen, and hearing you say it here really just hammered it home. 2. Staying authentic with congruence tests. I’m someone who usually gets amped up and overzealous when responding to shit tests and I feel like people can often see in my eyes how badly I want what I said to click with them, and that’s probably one of the things that sets me back the most in interactions. 3. Stop waiting to take action. I find I always get sucked into whatever laziness the people I go out with are into. I’m usually the last guy trying to find ways to pressure use into taking action and usually get pissed off that they don’t show the same determination, then at the end I usually succumb to not spoil the fun and we half-ass our action plan and just talk and eat and do our own shit. When I heard the part about you just taking action regardless of anything else, that inspired the fuck out of me. I was like: “why the fuck am I letting what my friends are feeling determine the action I’m gonna take and whether I’m actually gonna improve socially?”

You look younger, full of joy, life and are very well spoken nowadays! Just waiting for the book.

ngl i’ve had amazing meditation time recently and the things i can’t translate into words but you word them really well

One of the attributes that make a superpower is that I have an endless supply of creative as well as physical energy . If I am paralyzed metaphorically or physically it has an extremely negative effect on my mental health. Depression and anxiety . In the extreme. Breaking me in that way isn't possible bc I will at some point refocus all of that creative and physical energy onto a way to go over ,under or through anything paralyzing me .

How is this so on point with what I’m going through. This is mind blowing how relatable everything is

Love hearing and learning more from you guys!

What I like about your advice is that the bottom line solution of most problems is pretty simple: let go and be yourself. The problem is that whenever I find myself in situations in which I would very much be myself I shy away because if I was truly authentic a lot of repressed shit, trauma, anger, etc will come out and will end up making people hate me. What if my actually true self is fucked-up and hurt? It is not fair for me to throw that on the lap of other people. And I have done a lot of therapy, which helped but did not entirely solve the problem.

Whenever I'm so sucked into my comfort zone not wanting to do something that is productive, I'll just close my eyes and sit/lay down, whatever it is I'm doing and just not think of anything. It puts me in a neutral state which makes it easier to get up and do something else, instead of immediately getting out of my comfort zone to do something else

Damn that point of self encouragement. That you wouldn't say "you should have done better." to your kid if they did something... My dad would say that to me. I got all As and 1 B? He'd go "why is that a B? Why not A?" And completely ignore the rest of my grades. Now I notice the same way of talking within myself too. But I'm glad I got to know what it is so that now I can start working for myself rather than against.

Be always authentic and won't have anything to be afraid of. Some people will like it, some people won't, but this is all about you and only you, not somebody else. Self improvement.

Is this dude a life coach?

When people judge you , or argue, they are jealous

So many facts I’m almost a vet in socializing I also was the quietest kid back in the class

I would be super intrigued to hear a discussion between Julien and Jordan Peterson. That would be awesome to listen to.

Allways pulling up my freinds when they talk negatively about them selves, i say hey, 1st rule NEVER put yourself down, i used to do it myself many years ago,just not realising the negativity it gave out about me as a person.

I’m grateful the algorithm suggested Julian.❤

I noticed this when I get in state at the gym. I'll suddenly start getting dudes trying to lock eyes with me to see if i'll look away. I do notice I start getting a bit paranoid when this happens because all the sudden you got guys looking you up. People really are just animals acting on their instincts. You really just have to get comfortable with the positive and negative attention.

Thanks for these golden nuggets. Appreciate you sharing such ideas to contemplate about.

After months of clicking “Don’t Recommend Channel” RU-vid finally added value by recommending this gem.

Made a lot of difficult things seem fixable and simple. Thank you brother. Instant subscribe

Teaching spirituality and none doership in a confidence seminar. Well done.

Such a good video Julien so many good tips on how to improve and be a bether person thank you so much for the content! Greetings from Brazil.

Julien, I want to give you a big hug. Thank your for your videos man.

Just found your stuff. You are such a sweetheart to be helping all these people feel safe to be their authentic selves 🥰

Avoiding jealous people is much time efficient than accepting the test of jealous person as an opportunity to prove yourself to yourself and then actually still jealous people will not learn because they hate you still and the only thing their pain will stop is by actually curing their own insecurity than actually testing you.

Great video, im going through some phases rn. Listening to your speech helps me reflect my action.

Thank you, Julien. I enjoyed every minute of this clip! It's a good example of how authenticity can be powerful, and attractive.

This is great 👍. I love the idea that a shit test is actually a soft YES. And that when you respond by owning your frame, rather than being reactive, that's true power & likely to become a hard YES.

Awesome insight 💯🤙Much Love ❤ Thank you for sharing 💜🔥

I can relate to that when you feel cloud nine when you approached someone for the first time even though the conversation doesn't last long

That's brilliant... Speak to your Self as you would speak to an innocent child... Your inner child needs to hear this.

Thank you... that being carried by self encouragement once you get into that rhythm ...ahhhhh. Love. Thanks again

Socializing is challenging for me these days, not because I don’t know how to do it but because I have a much better idea of how people are and they don’t align with my personal values and that’s the part that keeps me from wanting to talk to people. How do I fix this? Change my view of people and accept that they’re just not going to ever uphold my personal values of how others should be and act? Go into it without expectations? My issue is I know everybody knows right from wrong and a lot of people just don’t fucking care about that and that bothers me too

I’m tired of being challenged by people. It’s Like Who are they ( power move )

Julien, you are one of the best in this business. Loving all your videos.

I had no clue you come from Switzerland, WHAT, your accent is amazing. Best wishes from Switzerland - it would be amazing to meet you in an session here in swissgerman🇨🇭. I also proccess my English with your videos, but struggle a lot with like "i went ham" stuff.😂 You help me alot understanding whats going on with me and i love this video with your personal examples, thank you so much.

Know Thy Self.

That was very, very, very encouraging. Thank you, sir !

You made me realize I should enjoy what ever I do and be myselfself

Thank you for all of your efforts and I really appreciate you. I worked for Swiss Com We had a Christmas party at Lake Zürich. Switzerland is such a beautiful beautiful country.

Incredible content! Glad this popped up on my feed. Thanks Julien!

Wow. What an intelligent speech. Thanks!

What about "cruel to be kind"? Lots of people believe in that notion

I really liked the part where you say “ask yourself what are you hiding from ppl”

Bro, this is the first time I’m coming across your content and I must say, I’m impressed. Subscribed.

I love your teachings, Julian. You’re the man!

My dude what an excellent talk and delivery. The being authentic self was my next level advice, thanks brother 🙏.

Dude! glad this video found me. Ive been thinking this forever... you have a new subscriber, Cheers.

amazing. I probably saw you at the Grove Coffee Bean regularly. Congrats on the life transformation. 🙌🏼

Some “SOUL”

I appreciate this video telling people to be themselves in a logical way! Awesome job man, thank you.

"It's not the having, not the doing, it's the being."... Realness.