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Jo kuch aap leh rahe h ye maine apne pati ko shuruaat me hi bata diya tha to jo parivar pura mil k meri saas ko pratadit kr raha tha wo meri saas k sath mil k mete khilaf ek ho gaya.....dhritrashtra aaj bhi maje le raha h ladwa k sabko
Marriage and parenthood are overrated in India. I am single and childfree for life.😇 Ratan Tata, Abdul Kalam, Vajpayee, Jayalalithaa, Lata Mangeshkar, Mayawati, Mamta Banerjee, Ekta Kapoor etc are single and childfree and some of the most successful people in India.
My Fil died, still we live separately. We have provided everything for mil comfort. Once because of joint family we were facing divorce situation now after separation of 12 years from parent in laws our marriage has turned into a very romantic one. I simply don't remember when was the last time we fought.
I got tortured so much by my in-laws and always thinking on this point and many years before already decided to keep my beta bohu to leave separately once he got married.Thank you so much for bringing the true story of Indian families 🙏
बिल्कुल सच कहा आपने असली विलेन ससुर है कितना बढ़िया अनालिसिस है आपका और कितना सटीक तरीके से समझा रहे हो आपकी उम्र के लोग अंकल जी गीता और रामायण की बातें करके खुद को बहुत ज्ञानी समझने लगते हैं आपकी उम्र में आपको इतनी अच्छी समझ असली कर्मयोग यही है जौ आप समझा रहे हो
@@shasankv85 my father in law was super arrogant, narssissistic and would bring the house down with shouting and yelling if something went against him....... He wouldnt take a glass of water by himself..... Someone should always be ready to serve him.
Guruji Pranam, I am unmarried 32 years old man. I spent 3 years of my life fixing my parent's marriage problem. I was TRYING to learn simplest skills in that time so I can join the workforce again. And I achieved nothing but depression for myself. This video is so true and relatable that I watch it over and over again. I learned this through a very bitter experience and I hope people find this video before they make mistake like I did.
100% true and relatable video.what a rational and progressive thoughts... excellent analysis, maja aa gaya. I'm from an 80's generation, almost married for 14 years. Highly educated but controlled by villains. Always submissive, obedient, cultured ... But now I feel like to rebe wasted all my life's golden years listening to them as if I don't have my liking, now I want to focus on myself and my hobbies a little bit. So that after 10 more years I won't be regretting it any more. I don't want to become a villain in my bahu's life. Thanks for sharing it n showing the mirror to society 🙏
Villans not just immediate family, relative near distant...especially if you are single senior citizen every one wants to control you,relatives,neighbours,retire ke baad collegues bhi...god knows who not.
U r the saviour of all bahus of north India..nobody has ever brought this important topic that affects so many families…so relaxed to hear someone who understands problems of all ladies.. MAG
Accidentally found your channel, best thing I came across on RU-vid till date! I have been binge watching all your old videos and sharing them with family. I strongly feel all of your content is spot-on, need of the hour for most Indians. Thanks for making much needed content 🙏
100% sahi . Most of the times I feel getting married is the worst thing I did with my life. Kam Wali baii ban gyi bs. Sab ki sewa krna hi zindagi hai bs apni to koi life nhi. Sare farz hmare hai.fir bhi khush nhi hote.
Kamati bhi nahi hogi. Phir bhi job pe husbands ko appreciation, break time, appreciation aur bonus aur society mein respect milti hain. @@hhshs3466. What does a wife get? Does one ever realise why women are so distant from household chores and proudly say they are busy in office work? Because they never get appreciation and applause. When a husband gets a promotion, everyone applauds him for hard work, what about the women who ensured the good health of the man, took all mental pressure within herself and kept him majorly from ghar kalesh. And now women are blamed for why we are so aloof from household work.
In laws just crush your personality. So do whatever is required but at your own pace and your convenience. Listening to them will make the matters worse. If they don't like then they are free to do it on their own. They never will be happy whatever you do for everyone so royally ignore them.
Thank you..Sir you are 100percent correct... majority of Sasurs are Dhritarashtra and make us look like vamps..I already knew this but today your words proved it .Hats off
Appreciate your wisdom Sir 👍🙏👌quite true & factual analysis of our typical Indian society & family set up….. these videos so should essentially make people rethink on their lives around their families & make changes accordingly for a better understanding of a Happy life .. Thanks for sharing 😊
Mai soch hi rhi thi ki kaise is video ko share kru.. jigar chahiye😅😅.. but last line helped.. dekho kaisi batein faila rha …😅😅 you are AMAZING…..!!!! Soo practical…
Oh my god…I died laughing when you said “humara parivaar to bohat sexy “😂😂😂 this is such a funny video. I agree with the analysis done here…can correlate it to both , my parents as well as my in laws side. Women of their generations have been suppressed so much that they feel it’s normal after being submissive all their lives and carry on the behaviour with their daughter in laws. No girl tolerates this in today’s times. And the mothers get bitter because they don’t get their ‘revenge’ so to speak..Hats off to you Sirji ! Aap mahan hain😂
Superb video. Masterpiece in itself. I am a psychologist and i agree to all of your points. I appreciate your courage of speaking the truth. Your channel is a clear mirror of north indian upper middle class society. Seriously new generation needs to change and come out of this as much change couldn't be expected from elder generation.
Salute to you sir, aap ne Indian family ki asli gadbad pakad li hai. Financial independence and distribution of duties is a must for families. Show off in the wedding expenses is also ruining the financial condition of the families, which could be saved and spent in the couple's stability.
Sir, you have taken a great initiative to not just understand , accept and support the thinking of young women. But you are also creating an awareness .. that too in such a free and humorous manner. You are amazing sir.
My sister suffered from the same problem. Her father in law was the villain. She suffered from mental trauma after her marriage because of his rude behavior and taunts.
There is tendency in Indian male members that Bahu has come in family as transcend of Mother in law role. Whatever mother in law has been doing, how she is managing has to be done by bahu in same way , no matter , which they label as 'sasural k taur tarike', 'get adjusted' . They don't accept that girl has her own way of living and doing things , she might not be interested in cooking food or being on toes daily.
@@FromProfessor is it not a matter of ego for boys accepting girl earning more than them? And also boys tend to be older and hence get the time to have higher income . So for a girl to have income higher than husband, will a family boy look for girls older than the boy? Boys do night job or US timing for high income. Will a family be supportive of the wife doing night shft?
Very true, sasur ji is mostly culprit .....woh piche hote hai and saas ko aage karate hai ..... vahi hote hai kaan bharane wale saas ke ... yeh maine bahot baar (99%) times dekha hai .... its very hurtful and helpless situation for bahu........ comment..from jalandhar punjab
Maja aya. Ap ekdum sach bol rahe ho. Ek eonshabd sach hai. Sare fasad ki jad admi hai aur dosh aurat ko diya jata hai. Apke is video ne dill jeet liya sangwan ji. Jiyo mere sher
Yes... I had guessed it's father in-law,i recently had argument with him, and thts when i realised after 15 yrs of marriage that my father in law was playing double game. He has messed the family, spoilt his son, spread rumours about me, n he is doing this very quietly...
Sir, I am a woman who is a researcher. In last one year, I have cried a lot because of my career and mental health getting affected. Honestly, I don't see my in laws as villains but unfortunately the systems they blindly believe in. If I live like them, I have to be dead inside. After a lot of thought, I had proposed my husband that if he wants me to stay near him happily, we must develop alternative arrangements for their parents and my parents too. But, he is afraid that his parents would be hurt. But, I am very firm with sticking with my idea. In my bad financial times, except for formal asking ....no one including my husband helped me out. So, I have to think for myself even if I earn the label of a bad Bahu. I watched your videos and was honestly but happily surprised how your prescribed thoughts and solutions are atleast 90% matching with me. Also, I have tried practicing 'no' politely. Still, as a woman many compromises await. Agar wo kuch useful compromises hotey phir bhi sochti but most of them are power control to satisfy insecurities of the society and regressive family systems.
Same here sister. With 1 year of marriage gave inlaws grankid at risk of corporate job. Finally got maternity leave but they are bent on making me their housewife with earning, while keeping their clueless boy as useless to demand bedtea for himself while i am cater to the child as well. SIL wants to demean my choice in corporate attire of smart casuals by forcing chunni, ghoonghat and chamcham suits with village jewelry, Speaking derogatorily of my attempt upskill and switch jobs. They try to keep me bound to their house, don't allow me to mingle in the neighborhood, forbid me from buying my things from shop, insert inane 'traditions', even try to stop my mother's house visits.
@@divyasinghphougat8520 Sorry Divya, I am in a better position. From beginning of my marriage, I had decided not to do anything to impress but at times do all these rituals or cultural practices out of my love. But, I can definitely understand your situation. Main na isliye apne bure financial time main jab mujhe kisine help nahi kiya tab khud hi apne savings se apne college fees etc bhara. I was planning a kid but unless certain things are solved...I am not going to bring in a kid until I am emotionally and physically ready.
@@divyasinghphougat8520 It was and is tough but I do not ask permission for staying with my father. But my fil tries to indirectly pressurize me by asking when I can stay with them. I don't mind staying with them. But my food and cultural habits are different. When they force upon their food habits on me, I get uncomfortable as it is a shocker for me at a humanitarian level. I am a good cook but my mil insists to learn cooking from her so that I cook them. On phone, she criticises my choice of recipe that I cook and instructs me what my husband should eat. I am educated regarding health and infact good at making balanced diets. Since I do not criticize her or anyone's food habits , it is difficult for me to constantly face so much discussions regarding food. My mil says o you cooked only one sabzi....my Babu can't eat with one sabzi. On the other hand my husband is extremely fond of what I make.
Maja aa gaya.... Itni clarity...... Really superb...... ❤❤❤keep us guiding..... Uncle.... am 54.....late sixties born..... Soon to be f-in-law..... Will follow every bit u explained in earlier video regarding marriage kharcha etc. And now in this video
When you revealed that sasurji is the villain, it was truly like a murder mystery where the person who seemed to be the most distant from the crime came out to be the criminal. Jurm aise Karo ki koi shak na kar paye
Àctully family make sasur god, all say that sasur ji ko insan se bhagwan banate hai Bahu ke samne,bahu se bhi yahi expect Kiya jata hai,jabki ladki apne papa ko itne sar pe nahi leti
Mujhe to shuru me hi samajh aa gya tha ki meri zindgi to narak banne hi wali hai kyunki sasur ji is sitting at home simply doing nothing but noting down his bahu's each and every little and big mistakes and provoking his wife and daughter and then later at night when me and husband go to sleep. Then SIL before going to sleep goes to her parents room and they start gossiping about their Bahu, in this way they were all filled with toxicity and whenever they got a chance they make Bahu villain in front of their son. This is all because of insecurity of losing their son that if the Bahu becomes successful in creating a strong bond with the son then ladka to hath se gayo, ban jayega "Joru ka Ghulam". Achha Sone pe suhaga aur lijiye ki even after destroying their own son's and bahu's emotional and sexual life they ask very shamefully that "is there any good news?" "are you expecting?" SHARM bhi ni aati aisa puchhte huye. Jab pati patni ke beech me man-mutaav create kar liya to bachcha kya rape karwa ke paida karwaoge. Shadi se pehle mujhe bataya gya tha ki Sasur buisness karte hain to mujhe laga tha apni shop me baithte honge kya pata tha ghar me baithenge to us ghar kabhi shadi na karti kyunki aise sasur zindgi ko aur narak se bhi upar level ka narak bana dete hain. Socha tha Saas ke sath Ghar pe maa beti ki tarah enjoy karungi milkar sab kiya karenge unse sab seekh lungi fir unhe nahi karne dungi. Lekin shadi ke baad ka pehla saal bhi sukh se jeene nahi Mila do baar to gande gande suicidal thoughts aaye dusri baar to kadam uthane bhi chali thi lekin pati aur sasural aur mayeke walo ki zindgi tabah ho jayegi mere aisa karne se to khud ko rok liya. Lekin ab sochti hu mai kyun apni zindgi kurbaan karu unlogo ki wajah se jinhe ghanta faraq ni padta mere hone na hone se ye to mere Marne ke baad dusri le aayenge mere baare me samaaj ko kahenge ye mentally disturbed thi to aisa kadam utha liya.
No one can explain my family situation better than this video! I knew this, came to know this last year(2021) itself and took the instant step of buying a new flat for my family... Just 2 minutes away from my parents' home. Now I hope things get sorted out smoothly! Age-31
Great Mr rohit. Here in my case, I had to move out and I m villain now for everyone. But I'm at peace now. Yes still my other half takes counseling session 4 times from his family. 👋 but I'm rock solid in my decision of not being the part of kaleshi family n living with them .
Accidentally found your video.. ur views and opinions are very close to middle class family and parivar and I love to watch ur videos... Before I watched motivational things or listened to music while doing my work .. but now whenever I watch tv either working on the computer or phone i start watching ur videos.. which very much admires me personally ..thank u sir.. and yes maza aa gaya... Keep motivating us with all ur experience and observations... Thank u so much...😊
I totally agree with you. The moment you said, jis ghar mai women dukhi hai, woh ghar kabhi sukhi, happy nahi ho sakta. This was my thought which came on in this video. Must appreciate your thoughts. Thanks for your videos.
It's true that there is huge toxicity between parents and between parents in laws. And we are getting the brunt of it. My advice is leave parents when 21 yrs, set up your own life whether in pursuing your education or in raising your family. When parents get old and in need of physical help, then adjust at that time but not until then.
North east me konsa part?? What about Nagaland? Because I though they are modern because they were not corrupted by typical Indian societal thought process.. That's what i think please let me know ke waha kya hora he.. Mujhe jyada idea nahi he waha ka
I first time came across some person talking so boldly on these topics. I found your video just today i wish i had listened to this 10 years back and i would be so happy if my father and father in law thought like you.
Very rational and progressive outlook towards saas bahu issue and love the clear straight forward attitude of yours !! Absolutely agree to every word !!
Uncle thanks a lot you are creating videos which is very valuable for generation like us from 20 -40 age gap . Keep it up uncle lots of love and blessings to you.❤❤❤
Love your life lessons..I happened to watch one episode..and I was hooked to your channel...watched all your episodes..almost.. Itne sateek..progressive vichaar..much needed for the society..Bahut achha kaam Kar Rahe ho aap..kitna khul ke bolte ho..wahwahwah..:):) Have forwarded to many in my circle.. !! Thanks for coming up with such unique stuff.. 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
Correct.. Salute sir.. Samaj ki kadvi sachai.. Bahut achha vedio banaya.. Hope sabhi ye dekh ke apna believe system change kare aut family me khushali banaye..
Sir you are brilliant and brave ... Exposing the truth fearlessly ... Please continue ... The truth you speak is so much more helpful than fake religious and spiritual gurus who don't really help in anything ... This is the real deal ... A real social revolution ... May our unhappy society change soon
I completely agree with your every sentence. I used to say same things to my husband whatever you've said. My mother in law became a source for my father in law. She did every thing wrong with me but with the consent of my father in law.
100% agreed, in corona we have shifted in my hometown and face several issues and later we have discussed each point with my parents and my wife together , later we came to know that actual fault was from my father. He was not ready to accept his mistake and he was taking favor of my mother and sister and things were clearly wrong it was real audit of father in law of my wife. When we force to accept his mistake , he is saying i will remove from you from my property bla bla bla. So I accepted as they are and shifted back to Gurgaon and now if we go to my hometown we are living my own portion and managing my own food , no dependency on parents it is just like we are renter and paying electricity bill whatever we consume in 5-7 days.
Sir ji... Every word you spoke is true to the core. I've seen this playout in real life with my brother. And yes I admit my father was at fault. Please continue your work. Finally someone explaining the things that our parents should have done.
Sir you are a gem of a person who is highlighting these issues which nobody talks about . I hope if people could just become mature and not take their wife for granted.
