Why Are So Many Women Not Having Children? | Matthew Hussey 

My issue with saying it's not 'Ok' to let yourself become financially dependent upon a man? Women place themselves into that position, and biologically prefer it... To blame this on the man, by trying to frame it as an attempt to assert dominant power over someone? Well... For one, that shows where his mind goes, but two... Ok, I'll actually go so far as to even agree with this statement, in order to steelman it. It is truthful btw, just lacking in the overall perspective, which I'll get to in a second. The primary problem with this, isn't that we shouldn't be in positions that allow us to assert dominant power over someone... Everyone has that, even the women... The real issue is enforcement of the need to 'Sheath the Sword' as it is put proverbially. Be the monster, but know how to keep it at bay. Be the Warrior in the Garden, not the Gardener in the War.... This is the sentiment that proves why he's wrong. Now... That said... Before I get into more psychologically, and in turn biologically, founded portion? Let me point out... If I go to Thailand and instead of trying to become a Dual citizen of my country and Thailand, I instead forfeit citizenship entirely of my old country... Can I just later on, come back and beg for forgiveness? NOPE! I have to start the same immigration process as everyone else at that point. If a woman intentionally places herself into the position of being financially dependent upon a rich man, and then decides to leave him... She gets alimony... Men become dependent upon the emotional sponge that their wife is, via the connection of their bond, and without it they are far more broken than women are when that bond is torn apart. Women become dependent upon the provisional sponge that their husband is, via the connection of their bond, and without it they are far more broken than men are when that bond is torn apart. Saying that one side shouldn't become dependent on the other, but that a balance somewhere in between should be found? Ya, that I can accept... To just flat state that women don't need no man though? Fuck that shit... Yes they do, and men need women too...

One of the main answers to this question was answered in your podcast with Mary Harrington, Chris. Mary told us she almost died giving birth to her daughter. A lot of women don't want kids because they are very scared of what that physically entails for them - and rightly so. These risks can be fatal, or with awful short- and long-term effects on the body and mind. In the old days, unless a woman joined a Nunnery, she would have no choice - marriage meant pregnancy, and pregnancy meant life-threatening risk. Nowadays, contraception has given women a choice - and what women are choosing now, is probably what their female ancestors would have also chosen too, given the chance.

Many women CAN'T have children... MANY have been harmed by medical "interventions" affecting their reproductive organs. 😞

Thank you so much Chris!!! Greetings from Italy 🙏💪😜

@@curious164 amen! CHOICE

These men want the advantage of a higher birth rate without the downsides of making and raising those kids.

They're wondering whether they'll have enough future 18 year olds to play Peter Pan with. Less babies born means fewer ladies and fewer little idiots to take advantage of and pump into.

Because they can’t have kids with women who don’t want kids? It’s not rocket science

Fine point.

This is literally Chris Williamson's favourite topic of all time except he doesn't have kids and he's like over 35 lmao

Very true, sadly. Of course, the ideal is to marry if you get pregnant young, but it takes two to do that.

Agreed, because people conveniently forget the scorn they have for poor single mothers

This is so true. Young moms are seen as immature and incapable, while older moms are seen as being obsessed with their careers. It’s as if everyone expects every woman to have a child at the same age.

Just do your best ❤️ nothing else you can do.

@@dirge2me "poor single mothers" fcking lol

Yes, coming from a broken family is a large predictor whether you want to have a family on your own. It's a very clear correlation. The majority of people of my generation that I met in my life came from a broken family themselves. It has become the norm, so of course you will see the results downstream.

I never thought about it like this. It seems like some truth in it. My mom was a single parent raising 4 kids from my abusive dad. I always said from the time I was in 6th grade that I want no kids or get married. I don't think that is normal for a middle school child to confidently proclaim

I think you hit the nail on the head. It’s the entire nuclear family that’s been devalued. I wouldn’t want to raise children without my husband. That thought alone has gotten me through some hard times in our marriage 😂.

Yet over 70% of divorces are initiated by women (90% for college edicated)

Too bad women are the ones doing the divorcing... Wait what...

I know 😒 Or how it's not just women who choose to not have kids...it's men too. The hypocrisy is insufferable

Because they’re making that RU-vid money, and they’re disconnected from that.

Absolutely! I come from a low socio-economic background and watched my peers’ families break down due to domestic violence, infidelity, addiction and more. Kids are left traumatised and in poverty. The cycle then repeats.

right because men are not abused. good thinking

@@xfreeman86You clearly haven’t heard of a narcissist. Romantically speaking, they don’t reveal their true colors to their spouses until after the spouses say, “I do.”

This is one reason I can't stand Jordan Peterson. He's out of touch when it comes to women. Even has the nerve to call them flawed for not having children.

jasonmazzulla3007 this conversation is about women. Go away.

Exactly why some ppl understand it’s selfishness covered up as “oh I don’t want kids because I wouldn’t be a good parent or this or that.” Its most reasons are selfish. Some reasons are valid but this is selfish. At least you’re honest.

I never wanted kids and never had them. My male partner and I had great jobs in high tech, paid off the house, retired early, and are best friends and have a great sex life. You're not any more selfish than people who want and have kids. Both of you are doing what you want to do. This is what life should be about. It shouldn't be about making yourself miserable. I can't stand kids and I knew it. otoh: My boyfriend (of 20 years) and I do a lot of volunteer work in several areas, one is animal rescue. We put a lot of time, work, and love into it. If people say we are selfish, we laugh at it because it is such a lie.

Preach it louder for those in the back🎉

​@@dedesunbeam9361"You're not any more selfish who want and have kids." - Well said. The selfishness argument always baffles me. People who want children never stop to consider that having children could also be considered selfish.

​@@cricketylife8742 It's extremely selfish. Just look at the huge WASTE w diapers and they don't care about using tons of plastic in juice boxes and such, either...just to start. Second, most people's kids aren't going to release any new brilliance on the world, either.

She belongs to the streets! 😊

@@monk4everHe belongs to the streets! 😄

@@Olliemaxx1 he's probably already on the streets - using his friends or local internet cafes to get online.

Facts

@@monk4everyour mom belonged to the streets and you probably grew up in the foster care system.

The problem is, can't have EVERYBODY do that. And it's quite possible to do both. It's better then having your whole culture and nation go extinct. Genetic preservation and diffusion is the greatest accomplishment.

The dichotomy is a Western society problem, it seems to me. A woman who chooses to be child free or spouse-less is often seen, or even expected, as the breadwinner of the family (at least in Southeast Asia that seems to be the case), or she's entering contemplative spiritual life. So no one bats an eye (in my community, this is the case.) on unmarried woman who will be thought of as a "spinster aunt". She's not seen as prioritizing sex, money, drugs. I would say there's a different expectation for men where I'm from. Like, sure, he is expected less to be serious about life but everyone would raise an eyebrow if he reaches 35 and he is still single and childless- something like hushed questions about his sexuality or he's onto something like still enjoying a carefree life. You are right in saying there is so much room in between. And it really is about what brings the individual a level of contentment in life. I think it really boils down to calming our nerves and seeing that people who choose to be childless, whether men or women, do so exercising their right to choose in a free society.

THIS!

@@nicholasphelps3872 Not everybody will. I say let people who don't want children stop. That way, the "unwilling parent" genes can go extinct, and in a few generations, lead to fewer children who end up treated badly.

Because they are narrow-minded, one-dimensional, and self aggrandized which hinders their ability to think beyond their biases towards ppl who don’t want to emulate their basic lifestyles. These people are truly pathetic.,

❤

❤❤

That’s the man you picked. If you knew you didn’t want children why did you marry a man that wanted them? 🧐

So just bitch about it on the internet so you can get sympathy from strangers 👍

I am so sorry 😢

Same here I dream of being a Zoo owner 😁

I use to dream about becoming a paleontologist and discovering dinosaur or other prehistoric animal fossils. The thought of being a husband & father just never crossed my mind.

Yes!! Same never had the desire and still don’t 😂

You were raised wrong. It's that simple.

@@taftvaluethe fact that you’re judging others for life decisions that don’t affect you, says you’re raised wrong. She’s perfectly normal 😊

the hypocrisy pisses me off too. It’s mostly single childless men in their 30s who are complaining.

True, it takes 2 to tango and everyone is doing exactly what they want… u answered your own question

@@leedlbagginshield8492 It might have something to do with the idea that men are cars and women are gas stations. Thus, cars get angry when gas stations become less available, while if fewer cars are using gas stations, then there is plenty more for the cars who do use them. Still, it is very inconsiderate to get mad at someone for not wanting to do something, especially when that something will only make them miserable. And also, I know that the analogy I used is not quite accurate, but I could not come up with a better one. Please feel free to find a more suitable analogy if you want.

Because they believe that women have a natural drive to want children that is stronger than that of men. And if they don't satisfy that drive they will end up miserable.

Exactly, so wonky

Well said, imagine bringing a life into this world and then regretting it..

Thank you for removing yourself from the gene pool 😅

@@sissy-_-fnyc I never said whether or not I 'removed myself from the gene pool', but did I state truths and facts nonetheless? Yep

@@alannalc Not true, but nice try. Your dilutions can keep you happy enough with some pharmaceutical intervention, I'm sure. Congratulations, you're extinct!

@@sissy-_-fnyc wow, where did that come from? She makes a valid point. Do you know how many grandparents are dropped off at Nursing homes and just forgotten about? Not even a visit? It's pretty common. I would rather not have a kid than have that.

You nailed it. The compensation package for motherhood ain't there for how much your contribute. The government could consider paying women but things have to go to crap first before they improve.

Money is everything after all. Yay money give me more when I'm old and grey I'll look at my fat bank account and thank money for wonderful and purposeful life. Money will visit you on X-Mas day and tell you it loves you and so will all your bankers... like they did in Scrooge! Interesting too that only women who've had children will have bodies that break down when their old? Your right about hard it is too... One can only imagine how a woman who lived 100 years ago managed to do it without Television, iPhones and uber eats? Don't think me to harsh. I'm trying to show you perspective. Life was hard, is hard and always will be. You make your own strength...or you will have none!

​@@shelbysycamore637are you serious...our government is in so much debt and now you expect them to pay mothers ? You are delusional

Almost like you need a man...

​@@cynicist8114We really don't. That's why males like you get upset. 😂

I respect your honesty and I completely agree.

Wrong having kids is the best thing in the world maybe for you it sucks but for most people it's amazing

​@@blacklyfe5543Says a man, who very likely isn't cleaning any shite off his kid's butt, OR his parents.

It’s definitely a choice that involves sacrificing certain things. Kids aren’t pets though, that’s completely off base; only someone who doesn’t have kids , and really knows nothing about kids would say that.

​@@blacklyfe5543No.Having children is selfish

That's true. However, name an endeavor an individual human can do that will fill that void? Hard to come up with the exact THING other than transcending oneself over time and space by having biological offspring, well that's called human nature. You are not wrong that there are things that can replace having a family, but most of these things aren't accessible to an average person. It's false equivalency for an average person to say having a career or whatever else is a full replacement of having a family -- most people don't have any kind of career, they have an average job that is neither interesting nor fulfilling.

Love this reply, at least getting stuck in a marriage or family will never bring the happiness in the long run.

We are here basically to reproduce. There is nothing more natural than that. Filling the void with a stupid job where your around a load of fake people that will replace you as soon as your no longer useful or someone is better that's not very fulfilling

Agreed!

What's the void?

I think people are talking mostly about childless not by choice

@@IPx3_Broken lmao you are so mad for no reason

Childfree man here. Any misery in my life isn't due to lack of children. I have enough to deal with aside from an imaginary child I think some like to project their fears because they're jealous of the freedom we have as childfree ppl

I don’t think society even recognizes childfree married and happy couples . Like i don’t feel like there’s an established community yet. Like im still struggling to find other married child free couples to be friends with in my area. It feels like its in a new concept stage that’s just now starting to get popular.

@@metapixusion Interesting there too because a lot of people automatically couple marriage with children. So people ask "Why get married if you don't want kids?" Because I fricking wanted to lol

You are totally right

You do realize women initiate 80% of divorces right? You do realize women with degrees initiate 90% of the divorces? Many times they do it out of boredom. They get tired of the marriage because it involves work. Not only that they often take Half of the mans savings and possessions and collect alimony and child support and keep the house. They basically collect all the money but none of the obligations of having a husband. They get a sweet deal for getting divorced. Even if the woman has no children she still takes all of his stuff.

I wouldn't bring children into this world. I was just watching a video about kids born with schizophrenia, bipolar, and other conditions and it was horrifying. You never know what misery they'll run into even if you're the best parent.

I agree with all but the marriage and having to have a partner/father permanently in the situation. Nothing is permanent. Male or female, have a child IF you are taking 100% responsibility for anything that comes along with that child. Your partner/the father may die.

@@kelleemerson9510 I agree that death can stop something being permanent. However, we live in a world that is so evil that partners will even kill their spouse in order to get out of the marriage agreement. For sure if they die of natural causes then the partner who remains should be allowed to move on.

But most will forget to discuss the point of better relationships. If you treat women as shit which many guys do online and inside homes, then why in the world women want to be around you? Why can't men understand this at all! When women were made to become housewives, why did they treat them so badly? In other parts of the World, most women are stay-at-home wives, if men are so appreciative of families, women and motherhood, why are not they good to them? If mothers are so worthy then why do men make fun of their pregnant wives and their bodies post martem? Why do they subject their wives to domestic violence? And then justify it as well. Truly, if these same men had to become wives to cruel husbands, they would have opted out of this a long time ago.

Interdependence doesn’t mean a husband/man/father - we need other arrangements and structures to be able to have real support networks to raise children. Some women who are single mothers are experimenting with teaming up to raise kids together- same household and sharing the responsibility/care. It seems to be working. I think we need more of that bc we simply cannot be delusional to think that men will change, they won’t, so for women who really want kids I would encourage to think about alternative options. Money is also another big issue here: if a woman has money enough to have a paid support network she doesn’t need a man at all. In fact in many cases men are just extra burdens.

@@Vnm2207 I like how it alway's comes back to men at fault.. sorry dear but you opened your legs. I really hope women stop having babies altogether. Enjoy your cat's. Because your concept of 'support network' is.. Someone else has to go work to fund your lazy entitled life. Try contributing for a change. ME ME ME

Europe is better, i think i can have my baby for free the first years even daycare.

​@@rainasajid6678interesting point, just realise though that you women are no better at all. Vilifying men, blaming men for YOUR choices in life. Stop being man-haters.

💯 facts!!

Well said!

Very true

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You complain about a lack of men wanting go be fathers and then say in the same sentence fathers will never be as meaningful as mothers, can you really blame men for not wanting to be fathers? As a man I don't want children or to be married because men are treated like trash and considered unimportant. You are part of the problem.

Having children even if it’s just one or two, will be paving the way for your future generation. But there are some people who just shouldn’t have kids, cuz they themselves are just nuts

Right and that’s why I don’t vote democrat anymore even though they control all the messaging , from university to entertainment. And their message of saying your on the right side of history and you are a good person as long as you do what they say is right. And if not you are evil. But I combat this propaganda being actually informed and strong enough in my principals,Even when they may not benefit me. I know that they are no longer a liberal party, they are closer to authoritarian facist then the tolerance they say they stand for. I’ll stand for women because these supposed feminist won’t. I stand for equality for all not equity by any means necessary. And I refuse to be racist to minorities when they don’t have the same views as me. And if you haven’t had this realization yet , you should especially if you’re an American women being erased by the left.

@@moonknight4053 and some people are selfish. Not wanting children ISNT a character flaw. Chill out with the hate

For the most part if you are a women yes. If you are a male than only if you are expected to give up your life.

It gets easier if you persevere. A bunch of my friends are all players pretty much but I've always been adamant that I want a woman for life and have kids with her. At first they would try to sway me away from such foolishness and hey, the dating market is a tough one and one has to, to quote Chris, cycle through multiple people before you find a person who actually shares your values, so I get their skepticism but eventually they have come to accept it and some even start to aspire to something similar because the endless swipe/party/sex routine gets boring and makes you jaded. Granted, there is a long way to go for people in this state of mind since the brainwashing is so pervasive. Thinking about this reminded me of a quote by Matthew Mcconaughey in the movie Contact where he, as a person of cloth and an book author, argued that science and technology does not make us happy, that we fill our lives with stuff and, even though we are more connectable than ever before, we feel more alone as well. And this was in 1997. His argument was that it is faith in God that is the key but I think modern society has deducted that it is not, in fact. That being said, purpose still is at the top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs and, since a lot of us have our basic needs met, this is the top priority for our generation. If you've ever had a small person look up at you with those beady eyes and complete trust in you, you will understand that there likely isn't anything more purposeful than being true to the image the child sees in you.

As long as those people who don’t have kids expect those of us who put the DECADES of time and effort into raising well adjusted kids to then expect our kids to care for them when their old. There is a social contract that we all have with our community to pass along to the next generation. When people who don’t have kids , and just live for themselves; but then rely on the state and the care of those now grown kids that’s an issue. Parents who raise kids well; have a much greater chance of having care and support when their older. Those Childless couples are going to be in for a rude awakening when they are truly alone in their twilight years.

​@@BENR8108 as an ex nurse I can assure you that even those WITH kids will be looked after by someone elses kids... many are chucked into nursing homes as soon as it all becomes too much trouble to look after old mum and dad....

Yes but that means we go bye bye. The invaders come and they kill us.

@@BENR8108 The social contract is fulfilled by paying my taxes and developing stuff that makes all your lives easier in the long run. If your sole reason to have children is to be nurtured when you're an old fart, then you should not have children either.

@@lynnecartwright3976 not of there is not enough people to watch them…. Population decline is going limit services across the modern economy; and it’s going to force families who can’t afford rising costs to ship mom and dad to a nursing home instead to keep them home with them. I don’t think you fully appreciate how many people are going to be dying over the next 30 years, and that we don’t have the volume of kids to replace them. Our young adults now aren’t coupling and have kids… 50% of men DONT want to have a relationship at all. Most men from 18-30 haven’t had sex in a year. Childless women are going to be a majority within 20 years if trends continue… But hey, those without kids have a guarantee to die alone, those of us with kids (if we raise them well) have a greater chance being cared for and surrounded by our loved ones. So no chance (childless people) or some chance (those of us with kids). I know my choice..

You are one of the millions who chose not to have children to balance the environmental, social, impact that overpopulation is having. The world is becoming more unsustainable by the day, social economic issues impact our mental and health, which will impact the lives of children. Imagine bringing innocent babies to a world of suffering and bleakness as overpopulation is going to lead to due to rising competition for food, jobs, and housing and then risk of war and environmental destruction. Do not blame yourself. You are having an impact to future generations who may or may not see the same world that we saw.

@@jacqueslee2592 sounds like you're a communist...

@@jacqueslee2592shut up Meg

You're posing the RIGHT questions. The only caveat I'd raise is to CHANGE THE ORDER of your questions: the FIRST question should be "Are you psychologicaly/emotionally ready to raise a child?"--and if ntot GET THERAPY

​@user-cz5lj2vx1f Actually the first question should be do you want kids ? For some people the answer no is easy and they don't even have to think about the other questions. For others the answer is yes or I am not sure.... then in that case they should continue with the other questions and realize that they may start working on themselves first....financial, emotional...to be ready when the time is right for them.

Nobody cares. Men without kids are not shamed by society like childfree woman are.

same! i grew up in a home where money was always tight. i'm not a millionaire, but my wife and i earn enough to live comfortably. if we had kids (whom neither of us want), i would go back to that situation where money is tight, and i don't ever want to feel that way ever again. and the cost of living gets more expensive everyday. no kids for me; i'm good.

❤️🙏❤️

All love to you and your partner. You re a real one❤

​@@thispersonrighthere9024 so sorry to hear that...❤

100 💯 agree

Climate crisis...🙄

Exactly. It's so much more complex, and being called "selfish" for it is completely unfair.

Assuming your premise is right (which I completely disagree with) that women need this much financial security to even start thinking about having children, now, what are you going to do with all that wealth by yourself? How tasty is that Michelin 3 star meal lasting a few long hours when you eat alone? How joyful is that private jet ride when you ride by yourself? How exciting is it to confront your own purposefully chosen biological dead end every single day for the rest of the few decades of your life? By statistics you will likely outlive your husband by one decade or more, so yeah... What a well lived life that is. I applaud your bravery.

@@YummyFoodOnlyPlz keep in mind , a lot of people have first family’s and second family’s blended .. most Men do not get sole custody, and they have to pay child support. Most men I knew could not afford to have anymore children , because of child support , but .. if they got with a women with kids getting child support from another man , well they can make it work. It’s been like this for years now at least 20yrs

I'd love to but I need tobget a bigger house and the whole process is ruthless aswell

Because the legalized child trafficking racket that's adoption makes it super hard for otherwise qualified individuals to do so.

I used to think that if I didn't want to have children, that I would adopt, but the older I got, the more I realized that that didn't make sense either. To me, if I'm not wanting to mother my own biological child, why would I want to mother someone else's? It's a huge risk... It's just like going to the pound and picking out a dog - it's either going to be your best friend or it's going to be a nightmare, so it's a total toss-up that you are saddled with for the rest of your life. I have a friend who adopted and luckily he was rich because that kid ended up needing over $500,000 in therapy and it still never fixed what was wrong with him. The kid was nuts. 🤷‍♀️

​@@ladykd2355 you don't know anything about dogs, huh? I've never had a bad dog. Had dogs around over half a century. Lots of dogs at the pound are purebred, btw. I'll pick a dog over a kid ANY day.

People most people don’t want to raise someone else’s kid. Why are there children in the foster care system in the first place??? That’s the real question.

😂😂😂

You know what’s also funny? A lot of men don’t want kids but they want sex… so they’re gonna jump on the bandwagon for women to settle down and have kids so these guys have a chance to have sex!

They don't want to do podcasts dealing with those realities. Also do podcasts on women who regret marriage

I'd like to see one on how many women had unplanned births. What's the percent on that?

they can't put those people on camera because the kids will see it someday

that part

@@consciouscrypto3090 Maybe the video should pixelate the faces and distort the voices to prevent recognition.

Exactly!!! Jfc

Wow, so many bitter cat ladies in the comments

​@@jayc342009Bitter? Were you looking in the mirror when you wrote that?? I'm a cat lady and proud of it. I can do what I want whenever I want. That includes sex.

@@playfulpanthress femcel

@@jayc342009wow so many entitled men in the comments, boy stfu

I largely agree with you with one exception: humans work differently. Humans, if they have precarious conditions make more children than ever (see the poor countries) while if they taste abundance they abandon the family life (see the developed countries)

Although I agree that bad childhoods suck, I don’t agree that safe women breed and women who were not safe are just trying to survive. Why is that in the West, where it is significantly safer and thriving, the population is stagnating, but in third world countries, the population continues to boom?

Very well said. My childhood was fine, but having kids is a lifetime commitment that requires every drop of a person's resources, money, freedom and time.

@@filipbelciug Do you ever wonder if those people who have children in the poor countries really think that they are living in precarious conditions, or they think otherwise when they're having children.

@@AlexBobalexRavenclaw the populations are stagnating in 75% of all countries. East Asia, West, west Asia, south America. Pretty much only places above replacement levels are in sub Sahara and they are getting there within next 25 years.

People got married much younger decades ago. They weren't rich. They were broke but they figured things out together. Instead of looking at marriage as a way to build wealth, we have switched things around and turned it into "wealth before marriage." That was always going to be a recipe for disaster, especially for women.

the housing market has me depressed depressed

@@akp167 If you know better you do better

It's a lot easier to have a six figure household with two incomes than with one. A lot of stability comes from marriage. Ijs. You just have to find someone that you're willing to put up with, that's also willing to put up with you. That's the hard part. lol

@@djangomarine6658 if you're both working who's watching the kids?

They make male chastity belts. Lol.

not true, courts rule 50 percent of assets. if I was to have children I think id also get married

also you can have prenups done so if you are financially independent anyway you will have that and will be given support urgently as priority from councils etc, not ideal but at least our country has it. many don't

@@anastasiassecret3837 I had a criminal father so I know what you're talking about sadly....thankfully I'm still alive. It is awful. Glad you're aware of the dark shit that goes on behind closed doors. It is literal madness

With more abusive relationships, ahead. Happened to me. Ruined my life. I'm 65.

For black women ,this is almost always guaranteed . Black women benefit the least from marriage and children

And that is exactly what a lot of people end up with, regardless of whatever familial aspirations they may have had earlier in life.

Till the fertility collapse makes a population collapse and third world invasion and replacement. Theres only one way to fight that extinction...

@@nicholasphelps3872 Japan and South Korea didn't buy into the replacement migration BS.

The world is becoming more unsustainable by the day, social economic issues impact our mental and health, which will impact the lives of children. Imagine bringing innocent babies to a world of suffering and bleakness as overpopulation is going to lead to due to rising competition for food, jobs, and housing and then risk of war and environmental destruction. Do not blame yourself. You are having an impact to future generations who may or may not see the same world that we saw.

@@nicholasphelps3872 That's true too. Lock the borders and let the nations who have loads of children learn to cope.

Acceptance is peace. You can still play a major role in children's lives in other ways..

Marry a guy with young kids and become a stepmom. My 'dad' was actually my stepdad. He was there from the time I was 7 and is the only real father I've known. You could be that for someone. Or adopt. Or use a surrogate. There are options. But you need to want it more to take those paths because the difficulty/sacrifice may be bigger.

I agree and God bless you ❤

You were focused on survival, but didn't realize that two incomes are better than one? Sounds more like you chose to "do bad all by yourself" instead of building with someone, but I'm glad you're doing well now and at peace with it. You can always do the step mom/adoption/coach thing.

To be fair, everyone is on survival mode, a lot of people accidentally have kids while surviving. I wasn’t planning on having a child when I was 22, but I did! While I was studying, working, plus caring for terminally ill grandmother at the time! It was the most defeating time of my life. And things weren’t going smoothly between my boyfriend and I at the time. But what do you know… when my daughter came along, her father and I put our differences aside and had to grow up and be adults bc our life wasn’t about us anymore. We’d have to survive together for our baby. It’s really hard to “surrender and let go” and believe me I went through that stage of feeling like a burden to my daughters father but he was like “nah I got you.” And he did!

agreed I've been single for 4 years and many men are addicted

As a man myself, I might suggest that you might want to approach men. Currently it is not acceptable for us men to approach women, so if you want to attract a man, you are going to have to approach them. Just spark up a simple conservation, about the weather, or about something simple. Men are not that complicated, just be slightly friendly and a little bit warm, and you probably won him over.

@@barrydaemi6287I’ve been single for over 14 years now and have no problem approaching men. They just are not looking for anything serious IMHO.

We were better off w the Chicago Reader personals. You left a voice message, could tell if they're lying or not or creepy. And they were real and lived near you. Met up for coffee in a few days or less. Didn't waste time w boring texting for MONTHS.

Yep totally understand my mother struggled to take care of me and my brother because my father's drug addiction he was always in and out of jail that's why I made the choice to not have children

I never had my own life because of it; I was always taking care of someone else.

My exact thought process in this. I'd much rather regret NOT having children and volunteer to help children or something rather than be stuck like my mother had been. I also want to take care of my momma when she needs me.

Same. I watched my mom struggle to raise children alone. I decided that if I couldn't get married to a man who's capable of being a supportive partner in both life and parenthood, I won't have children with any man at all. I refuse to let some deadbeat leave me high and dry taking care of his kids while he goes and lives the single life.

My thought process exactly. I would havev liked to ahve child--but, NOT in POVERTY as a single mother. TOO DAMN HARD!!!

Yes lol you shall...here let me help you. Baby daddy(s) drama, child support headache, bullying issues at school on school bus online, behavior issues up the wazoo, cost of daycare 👀, cost of diapers, people judging you for BREASTFEEDING!, dating disasters, potential danger in front yard due to predators, decisions to Vax or not to Vax and being judged no matter what you do. Oh the Joys of parenting 🙄 😂

I mean...single motherhood should be discouraged. It is a massive strain on society.

​@@lilc5353I really want to have children but cannot find a decent man

That is literally how my dad raised me too. He always tells me probably all the time. “You have to have your own money, do not rely on anyone” that to me is good advice for me personally.

Because you modern western women have absurdly unrealistic expectations with regard to men. We have average and in many cases even well below average women out here saying they “won’t settle” for anything less than a top 1% man. It’s just flatly delusional. Then they hit the wall in their 30’s, and the average men they turned their noses up at in their 20’s are either already taken or aren’t interested, because those guys who do want a family don’t want a ran through, past-her-prime woman whose fertile years are in the past, and who spent her best years at the club, getting her back blown out by Chad and Tyrone.

There are plenty of good partners. A recent survey said 63% of men are single right now. If that's your excuse then maybe you're expectations just don't match with reality.

Millions of women in the US are already doing what you asked about at the end of your comment. It's reality.

@@djangomarine6658most of those a probably not good partners

@@djangomarine6658 just because 63% of men are single, doesn’t mean that they will be good partners. Most men don’t even have basic lifeskills (like cooking, cleaning, personal hygiene, laundry). Getting with these men means more work and drama (STDs and so on) for the woman.

they dont they just do what their d* tells them to

Males know females better than females .

I thought that Matthew gave a very thoughtful and mature response and it kind of shut Chris down. :) The truth is that a lot of people will take what a man says more seriously, even if it's about a women's issue. If a woman said the exact same thing, many people would automatically say that she is selfish, bitter, deluded by feminists/TikToc/Chelsea Handler, etc. (BTW, not saying it's right that many people automatically give more weight to mens' opinions, just saying it's what is...)

True. Many women get their body change (weight gain, stretch mark ) and sexual activity insatisfaction after childbirth.... most marriage face crisis during pregnancy and childbirth. Some will act like they are fine, many don’t...

I have read a few articles from various sources that state 40 - 60 % of women with kids...wish they would have waited or not had them at all. Many will never admit it.

​@@deeporter7369 at first I thought I should had waited. But now being in my mid 30's with an adolescent son made me realized I did good in not waiting too much.

​@@deeporter7369 I admit it. I have a kid and I've never been more miserable. And it's only for life...

This isn't just a woman problem, having a child is a luxury most cannot afford.

​@@jayc342009It is mainly womens problem because men can always walk or run away.

@@db6881 ...no...affordability is not a woman's problem. We are talking about people who DON'T have children because its unaffordable. Men also have that problem.

@@jayc342009 Fact of the matter is the person in the equation who is more likely to walk/run out completely is the man. Which has been proven decade after decade generation after generation.

@@db6881 men can't run away, they go to jail if they don't pay child support

I agree, the whole ''spinster'' and ''lifelong bachelor'' terms weren't always complimentary.

@@TGP109 exactly. It’s a cruel world when people are tarred with the same brush if they’re not living up to the society norms. For some, things aren’t as easy. And that’s ok. We just need more understanding of each other but also, leave people to be who they are without judging their lives based on their status. It’s not easy for everyone.

So he was abusive then not you. In what year did he start getting abusive? If the answer is anything less than 5 years then its your fault you lost 6 years, try some accountability.

I totally agree !!!❤️💯 Chris is very Red Pill! Simplic in his approach to the subject. I find him young, slightly emotionally dumb & not very interested to hear anything where men are accountable

Actually, the world has never been healthier, wealthier or less violent then it is right at this moment. It’s a fact even Obama who was a shit president acknowledged this. Look into a history book, don’t be fooled.

Yes! A trillion times this!!

THIS some men can be so vile

You aren’t speaking anything but facts. I’d rather be a rich single mother than any other kind of mother. I’m going to keep wealth building for the rest of my young years and remain single. If I decide I want to be a mother, I’ll adopt on my own bc being inextricably bonded to a man via mutual parentage sounds like a nightmare.

Let’s just say that he knows where his bread’s buttered! 😉

@@covfefe_drumpfh ❤️

Men too. 🍻

Nope it's better to regret having kids than to regret not having kids you can't regret something you have only something you missed out on

​@@blacklyfe5543But if you regret having kids, they will know. And you might suck at being a parent if you hate it. So it's pretty selfish to have them if you're not sure.

@monicaolsson7608 I disagree you are supposed to have kids. If every man had the same mindset as you, you wouldn't have been born, and your family wouldn't exist. You should be grateful.

​@monicaolsson7608 is wrong than it means you are a shitty person. If it wasn't for your mom or dad, you wouldn't have been born, and no one in your family would exist.

​@@monicaolsson7608humans are here to reproduce on the earth.

And even if a woman does want to be single and wild let her be. Men are allowed to be 40+ living a bachelor lifestyle blowing there money on sex work but then woman aren’t allowed to do the same thing ? So backwards

Everything is sexist to women, keep crying Karen.

That’s not what’s being pushed in pop-culture though

Exactly. I happened to have found one of the last traditional men, and we have a lovely family. However, my nephews and one of my sons are absolutely committed to never having children, and one of them is in his 30s.

This is why the sexual revolution was a failure. There are often times men who want children ending up with women who dont and vice versa. It wastes everyone's time.

Take time to know someone inside and out before you make a commitment. The longer you know someone before you commit, the better the relationship will be in the end. Stay away from addicts, narcissists and fools.

@@Bluudclaat Pop "culture" in 2023 is degenerate trash. Nobody should be following that.

THIS I'm also fed up of hearing men mansplaining Womens issues and rights etc

@@lightofall yeah the term “mansplaining” has gotten a bad rep but cmon now it actually applies here 💀

Neither of them have children. That’s the hilarious part. They’re literally entering the phase where their own fertility is biologically declining. Yet here they are judging women who don’t wanna have children?

​@@lightofalltalking about women isn't mansplaining, grow up.

Same here. I found babies to be the most annoying creatures on earth when I was a kid. I've been married happily for thirty-six years and we don't regret not having kids at all. We chose to travel instead and go on adventures.

On the off chance you ever change your mind, adoption is always an option

For sure. Just dogs for now

No ẞl00dline? ẞl00dline Ended LOL

​@@AbuBased731 Oh well, maybe not every strand of DNA needs replication.

Thats his take every time the issue is discussed. He doesn’t have an open mind about what his guests say and he books men who agree. Guess who doesn’t have children? It’s so annoying when all these men who are delaying parenthood try to shame women like us if they don’t have their own biological clock. All these men keep delaying parenthood but then expect women to settle with who?

@@nicholasphelps3872 who cares?

@@nicholasphelps3872 Well then, you go find a way to incentivize the British to make and raise those babies.

A requirement to do business with them should be that you have to listen to their concerns and sufficiently address and consider their concerns before you can begin negotiating with them.

True also if we are being real the majority of people in the past who didn’t have kids probably felt the same. Not having kids isn’t new. Infertility and celibate lifestyles were always a thing. I think there is an agenda to make this out to be a bigger issue than it is as a subtle jab to women’s new found independence and freedoms. It’s like “I’m not saying y’all need to get back in the kitchen but …”

Which was?

@@securitysupreme oh boy… where do I start..? Ok so the big trigger for me was feeling like my daughter was a burden. And being perceived that way as a child by my own mother is hard to be consciously aware of as an adult until becoming a mother/parent. I’ve been going to therapy for just over 10 yrs now and the “rewiring” was a very slow process bc this form of abuse happened in my formative yrs. Kids will reflect to you what is unhealed from what your parents caused.

Certainly agree. The reason why I don't want children, apart from the rational disadvantages, is that my mother turned out to be the worst example of a woman for a young boy to grow up with. The best part is if these parents complain afterwards that they won't get any grand-children, seemingly completely oblivious to the fact that they are one of the main reasons themselves.

sounds like it has nothing to do with your daughter or your mother.

@@VentureCreek sounds like you don’t know me at all.

Children should struggle just enough to toughen up in life. There is actually also the opposite effect happening. While children become fewer, the ones that exist get overprotected by their mothers which in turn renders them unable to grow into adults as well. That's especially true, the older the mother is. This basically started with the boomer generation and has only gone downhill since then.

Nothing is perfect, but yes, you do have to have your ducks in a row.

YOU can't even guarantee yourself perfect health for the rest of your life, so that's just total bogus.

Also include mental health.

​@@Asto508 boomers were the first generation to shove their kids in front of a screen so they could have more time for themselves! screens raising kids instead of *parents spending quality time with their kids while raising them* was the start of the moral decay of society.

You women wanted to work though...you created this problem 😂

Just waitll it's PARENTS, too!!

I joke that Elon Musk is angry that the current wage slaves have stuck against making future exploitable people.

@@skylinefever Yeah, rich people are mad they're running out of cannon fodder.

And with all the wokeism going on, they will try to brainwash & groom the children. Hell, white children may even become demonized and be treated as the new Jews who deserve to be exterminated.

Some people will try to argue with you by referring to their personal experiences, but their experiences are not always so relatable - thus, the people trying to prove you wrong completely miss the point and are just trying to substantiate a subjective narrative.

That is, if you get a job.

500% true! No one can be content based on things that could be taken away anytime. What people are yearning for is a fix to fill the void inside.

No, genetic failure is the ultimate failure. Britain as a nation is experiencing this due to artificially lowered confidence of white Britons by the criminal left. Resist them, it feels really good to.

Cope. Human beings don't have completely independent identities.

@@fromthesouthofafrica6815 sounds like a big generalization, zero humans?

@@TAGraham Yes, zero humans.

The world is what you make it.

Even with the best of intentions it is still possible to end up being a single mom. You simply cannot control teh actions of another another. Some women consider a sperm bank.

Yes I agree bu you can never be truly one hundred percent. Many women I've met say their husabnds leave after they get them pregnant

I have always thought exactly like this too but then I learnt something, and it is that you might find an amazing partner today and get married, but in 10 years they might simply choose to leave you, or you might find yourself forced to leave them because their treatment towards you have changed and become unsustainable, and as sad as this sounds, it is a reality, and these things truly happen very often. I think women always need to be prepared for the possibility of ending up as single moms, even if you're married for 20 years, things can always shift for the other person and there is no way to know or control that. Also, dynamics in partnerships almost always change after having kids, and sometimes these changes can't be predicted until the kids are already here

The world is becoming more unsustainable by the day, social economic issues impact our mental and health, which will impact the lives of children. Imagine bringing innocent babies to a world of suffering and bleakness as overpopulation is going to lead to due to rising competition for food, jobs, and housing and then risk of war and environmental destruction. Do not blame yourself. You are having an impact to future generations who may or may not see the same world that we saw.

Just make sure you're financially set 🍆 and sperm is about the only thing you can depend in most men for these days. So if you choose motherhood just go into it expecting to be a single mother, that way you're less likely to be disappointed or suffer postpartum. Men tend to switch up once you're pregnant, mid pregnancy, after birth or somewhere a few years down the line. Once you're pregnant or have had their child they figure you're trapped and no one else will ever want you.

If you have interests and hobbies outside the home, or like to travel, not having kids is easier. We have been child-free for over 30 years, we are just into our 60s and we don't regret not having them. Having something to do besides raising kids really makes it easier. We spend our free time camping, traveling and visiting people.

Nothing gives your life more meaning than having raised children. There's just no other way to frame it. Of course there are ways to pass the time, but that's all that it is. I do however respect people who know they are to weak to handle children. Those are the people who'd make bad parents and would suffer the consequences otherwise.

@@okaySam correction, nothing gives 'your' life more meaning than having kids. Not everyone is you.

this was an incredibly insightful comment. I concur.

​​​@@consciouscrypto3090 procriation is literally the purpose of EVERY species on Earth, we are programmed for that wtf are you talking about lmao

By that logic your parents are responsible for all the horrible things that happen to you. That doesn't make any sense.

They technically are lol@@emj3161

At 32, you don't have much time to spare. You'll wake up at 46 and slam flat into menopause with barely any warning. Two cycles and that's it. No more chances.