Why So Many Women Think Men Are Trash | Matthew Hussey 

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Online dating is like starving men wanting to get a slice of bread and women with free bread for life but want a prime rib steak.

two extremely attractive guys talk about regular dudes' problems is a good premise

Anyone who’s been on dating apps knows why exactly why it’s a nightmare.

Let's be honest, if one is not physically attractive then they will have less options on dating apps.

I've been on dating apps, I have tried being pro-active and getting the first date rolling. Women are so resistant to the idea of meeting up, they want lots of messages making them laugh and telling them how great they are first. I feel like I am being used to validate them, so I moved off apps. I would rather find people in real life, screw investing in someone you only know through some pictures and messages. The worst thing is they don't even turn you down, they just ghost. How are you supposed to improve through a system that rewards you with a non-committal reply, and punishes you through sudden silence?

My experience with online dating was no one can get anyone’s full attention. Especially in bigger metro areas. Everyone is getting messages from so many people and it’s hard for anyone to decide on who to focus on. Each time you login, there is more new people messaging you or responding to you. But all those people are experiencing that exact same thing, it’s like everyone is constantly distracted by someone new.

Solution: walk away from online dating. Why participate in a broken system that only perpetuates unhappiness?

Unless you are a 10/10 guy and a girl feels she is punching above her weight, someone ‘better’ is always gonna come along. Meeting people in person blows the online garbage out the water

The only success Ive had with online dating is to find people who have really shitty and poorly put together profiles. It shows that they are not putting their eggs entirely in that basket.

2 minutes in and I'm having doubts he's going to address how awful the women who use dating apps tend to be as well.

So glad I got rid of all the dating apps, life is better now

Its super difficult to find partner on dating apps especially for men. Women see men nowadays like a product and keep them in their shopping baskets , and they will chat, talk, date multiple men at a time, as soon as they find their match that is whoever is more convenient for her, she will then proceed for a buy . Men are just products on online dating platforms nothing else . Nobody cares about feelings, emotions, being a good human, everything is superficial. Looks , money, career prospects, family background is that matters .

The problem with the "try to meet someone in real life" is, at least in my experience, once a girl has used dating apps, she kind of has dating app psychology where she is still going to be checking the dating apps for someone better. And there is always going to be someone who seems better.

Bumble feels really weird as well like sections for bff, had the esxperience that a lot of dudes there are homosexual and are not at all searching for friendships. It’s such a weird world. For a while I was dating a Woman that wanted to take me out on a date she claimed to be 27…had nice fotos, cool interests seemed very mature, traditional. Then we met a few times went out in a hotel…spent our night together. Till she told me she’s actually 35, has a child and is married to a lawyer. I was instantly pulling back from her. She got really toxic saying I couldn’t get other woman then her etc. these apps are a circus for real. It doesn’t feel natural at all and the people you meet there are rarely material to build a future with.

"Don't be afraid to have a short date" such good advice. Especially for earlier dates. You don't even know how you feel about each other yet so an all-day, many hours long, date can be a bit much. Plus, people need time between things to process how they feel, to be allowed the simple joy of anticipating meeting again, etc. Time is important, but space is also so incredibly important in my opinion.

My problem with online dating is it becomes like a job interview. Your profile is like your résumé; it might as well be LinkedIn. And it becomes more about saying the right things and what you have in common as opposed to vibe and energy. I can convey my intentions in 30 seconds after meeting someone just with a look and maybe saying something suggestively, as opposed to a guy who spends five minutes using cheesy pickup lines and telling a lame story. 😂 or spending a week texting or messaging someone.

This just does not relate to the average guy looking to genuinely meet and find a relationship, which I firmly believe is a high percentage of guys, women’s over inflated ego and ever increasing unrealistic standards have pushed a man’s perspective to online dating as a soul destroying and demotivating experience!

online dating makes me so fucking sad, I can only handle it for 30 days maybe a couple times a year. The amount of 6s that think they're 10s that can't even hold a conversation is mind numbing.

I hate all this beating around the bush. For men, success in online dating boils down solely to looks. There's no point in wasting your time with online dating if you're not good-looking.

0:55 😂😂😂 Talk about being absolutely clueless. 5% of men are getting the majority of the matches. The rest can't even get a text let alone just "looking for sex". Privilege is invisible to Chads that have it😊. Dating coach my @$$

Online dating is a light version of mail order brides.

It really is a true nightmare… I choose not to go back to it. There are better ways to meet meet people of quality.

As a woman the problem isn’t men being overtly sleezy. I’ve tried online dating and rarely had someone approach me disrespectfully. The problem is that nobody makes an effort, it’s full of men who swipe right on everyone, one word replies, boring small talk and texting in circles with no intention of meeting in real life until we eventually give up and delete our profile.

As a woman, I never had an easy time on dating apps. Most of the guys I ended up matching with were mass swipers who unmatched from me barely a second later. Or I do send messages first and never get a response (And I usually ask questions about whatever they wrote on their profile). And believe me, I have gotten many guys who only started with "Hi" or something dry like that. I'd say Hinge is where I have gotten the most dates (Only three so that's not saying a lot). Never led to a relationship though.

Polyamory, addicts, dismissive avoidants and hookup culture is what I have to constantly avoid. As a woman I want a family but I cannot meet someone who is mature enough

My husband and I met on a dating app, chatted for a month, and our first date was in the afternoon at an art museum and then coffee afterwards. It was a great first date, I love that we were not stuck at a table and were able to have natural conversation around the art. He did well❤

95% of men getting rejected on dating apps, but sure "women most affected"

This is why i have faced my fears and now ask woman for their number in public. The odds for success are far greater than online dating and every woman so far has been flattered by the fact i have had the confidence to ask them for their number (even if they are not interested or have a partner). This is the way to beat the horrific odds with online dating. If you are personable when approaching, the odds of a 'yes' are far higher.

Im a 7 at best and I have never been on a Tinder date. The problem with these social dating sites is that women are being over-stimulated with messages, pick-up lines, sexting etc. And women want more, something new, something interesting. Simple people like me have no chance there because they are not playing these games. Personally, I quit Tinder because it's frustrating to use it. One day, you talk, have good conversations, and the next day, you are unmatched.

The main problem is most of the women are chasing very few men. This gives these men very little reason to care how they treat the women. There’s always another and the women keep chasing that small percentage and complaining. Our culture has cultivated a delusion in women regarding what they “deserve”. If women would interact with a wider variety of men online, creating more competition, things would change. That’s the first step.

I love how lately many of my favorite RU-vidrs have started collaborating and putting out content featuring one another.

Online dating apps. Where 90% of men get completely ignored. And where women just get used for sex by the other 10% of men. I'm fortunate in that I've always been pretty successful with women. Except for that 3 month time period where I tried Tinder for the first time. I've honestly never felt more undesirable and self-conscious in my entire life. The second I deleted it, I instantly felt better. It left such a bitter taste in my mouth that I wouldn't consider dating a woman that I met in person if she told me that she uses dating apps.

woah this camera set up and set look amazing. like a really legit lighting setup too

There is so much general information given about men and women these days that seems to pit one against the other and creates bias. I think that along with our bad past experiences, if allowed to, destroys relationships and weakens the ability to have a good, healthy relationship. It’s important to remember that each and every one of us are individuals who deserve a fair chance.

"MEN BAD" 🙄🙄 Meanwhile every other woman on dating apps is shilling her OF ,insta , or snap.

Hussey sure knows how to empty the pockets of lonely women!!

Part the issue is women’s standards have gone up since dating apps have come out, that’s one the main issues

It's not that I disagree with most of what Hussey describes but the way he talks about the online dating scene are bordering on misleading. Having a kid is an imense baggage period. Doesn't mean you're worth less as a human being but in the dating market you're not even close to "single". A single mom undeniably results in a new partner being second, in you & your kid's life. He will only ever be the father to that child as you allow & having grown up with this dynamic myself it's a damn mess. Both step-mothers & -fathers have severe limitations & pitfalls. It's not nothing & we all know that on some level.

Everyone said I would never meet anyone staying at home, so I took people's suggestions to start a couple dating profiles. I wish I could say there are only a few bad apples, but sadly, its majority bad apples. Men with major entitlement issues, anger issues. Meeting a nice man was such a rarity you didn't even have to be interested. it was just amazing he was at all respectful. There is rampant, rampant sexual harassment, verbal abuse, unsolicited photos, raunchy suggestions, threats, put downs. Its really made me start re evaluating if I want men in my life at all. If men think women are just sex objects, count me out. I have enough of my own problems.

If women are only “swiping” on 5-10% of men on these apps, how is this gentleman’s outlook attributable to the overwhelming majority of men out there?!? Those top tier men in the eyes of these women are definitely running through tinder dates .. duh 🤷🏽‍♂️

40-60% of relationships start online. But that doesn't mean they're starting through dating apps. I'd wager that the majority of relationships that start from the online sphere do so from closed social groups such as group or gaming chats or via social media. From what I understand, only 9% of single people have used a dating app this year and over the whole history of dating apps, only 30% of singles. Surprised me too.

Online dating has made it impossible to meet someone in the real world.

I am sick of men blaming women and women blaming men in order to establish that one gender is inferior or superior. I’m of the view that people are becoming stupider, profoundly more ignorant and capable of disregarding the truth with the objective of substantiating their subjective feelings. I’m not in a relationship because I’m not ready . I try to work on myself so that I’m not tempted to project my issues onto someone else. I try my best not to lie to myself and face the totality of myself, the beautiful and the ugly. We are in the midst of an epidemic of narcissism. Both sides have valid points.

40-60% of relationships today begin online is a crazy stat to me. that's a lot more than i anticipated. curious if that includes instagram

Here's an idea; you have such a keen interest in young, single, sexless males that aren't employed, in training, or in education, so why not bring one onto your show? It's not difficult to find them, and interviewing one of them is going to give you greater insight into their life, their mindset, reasonings and so on better than any of these academics or influencers that discuss the subject without actually being one of them.

Brilliant content, thanks! I like that idea of setting an end point for a date, and low stakes of something such as a coffee, to see what that can build up to. As well as the importance of standing next to each other on a first date, such as walking or sitting at the bar, rather than sitting across from each other.

Also, about our safety, I never want a guy to pick me up or drop me anywhere untill I know him. I hate when they insist, I don't want to explain myself.

He seems to completely ignore that many of these men are only out for sex as they do not see the woman they find as relationship material. As usual, women are portrayed as victims although they themselves are a large part of the cause of the problem.

Matt out here dodging the reality of online dating for 95% of men like Neo in the matrix

He explained things beautifully especially in the second half of the video. Helpful clip.

I was just creating my dating profile when I got the notifications for this lol glad to hear i am doing everything right, but i feel like the problem right now starts before you even get to talk to a girl, something is broken about online dating in such a deep way

Saying women hate sex, while they are a lot more likely to be promiscuous when using dating apps is at least weird. Both women and men need sex, don’t blame neither.

He has some good points but taking dating advice from a good looking guy is like taking finance advice from a rich guy, could be good if you are in that position but most people are not so it's pretty worthless. I've done the funny/cool profile on tinder with good pics and nice presentation, but guess what, since i'm not in the 6 feet category or 6pack, i still didn't get anything beyond a lot of matches with no follow through. Some girls would match me just to say they love my profile but are not interested 😄 . Also i got game, most then most people, so i got enough dates under my belt to know his advice of staying across from someone is utter bullshit. I've sit across from girls and either after the drink we went for a walk so it was easier to touch, or i just straight up moved next to her in the restaurant/pub. Online dating is shit unless you are in the top 20% , best dating is either in warm approach scenario ( in a shared activity like dancing, volunteering etc ) or passport bro type of thing where if you are a foreigner in some countries you usually immediately go to the top 20-10% of guys.

I gave up with those apps years ago. I'm just out here living my best living and talking to girls when I can...

The men that stay on the app looking for just hookups are the ones that WOMEN selected for. Women swipe right for the same 5% of guys.

This guy would do horribly in online dating

Why would anyone want to go on a first date and stare at someone chewing down on a bunch of food? Lol

I got hurt/traumatized so bad by trusting a man from Tinder. Told me his intentions were to date me and have a “mature relationship” but ended up putting me into a position where I felt pressured to send him s*xual photos. This was after three months of almost daily talking. I just can’t do this anymore

I Divorced at 58 a half-dozen years ago. I found Match, POF, and Tinder to be a bust, but Bumble and Hinge made it really easy to date decent women- in the 40-50 age-range, at least. (In a good-size city). A 30 min layover in SanFrancisco, Vegas, Nashville, etc., would garner 10-50 girls in my box, with about 2 or 3 worth swiping back on. Smaller cities like Spokanne might have 5 interesting women in total. Driving from Spokanne to LA with Bumble broadcasting scored me 60 swipes spread over 4 states. I didn’t swipe back due to the distance. Compared to hitting the Black Angus every Saturday night in the 80’s and getting one or two dates a month, Bumble and Hinge are a godsend. I never swiped-right or returned a swipe without reading her whole profile and ruling out tobacco, tattoos, kids, bi-sexual, sugar babies, over 20 miles, etc. On Hinge I’d open with a legit question rather than a clever pickup line, and for the most part I only responded to women that opened me or responded with a real question. In 4 months I got 98 phone numbers and went on about 60 first dates. 90% were for sushi and I realize now (after watching PU videos) that a shorter first date is smarter. About 1 in 5 was heavier or older than her pics but I never ran for the exit or got stood up. Only one, a nurse, was a nutcase. I dated 2 women seriously, and stuck with the last one for 4 years as of next week. Not sure if this will work for a struggling 20-something, but for old guys with free-time it’s way easier than 40 years ago! The disadvantage is that in the olden-days you’d sense a spark, introduce yourself, and breakup when the spark faded. With the apps your showing up for a business meeting. The spark is rare or might take 2-3 dates.

Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make Mistake but they don’t quit... As the economic crisis keep rising, we literally need to have different streams of income. The crypto market has plenty opportunities to earn a decent Payouts with the right skills and proper Understanding of how the market works.

I've tried implementing a short date for the first meet, but the idea never goes over well. "You don't like me? You don't trust me?" It's better to plan for a short date rather than to cut it short if the person does/says something dumb/offensive. Knowing me, I wouldn't cut it short no matter how much it deserves it because confrontation is scary. And I refuse to spin falsehoods to get out of a date.

Deleted all my dating apps about 10 days ago. I also deleted the photos I kept re-using to remake the profile. I'm done with it. Been on and off dating apps for about 8 years and nothing good ever came out of it. Plus it's like soft core porn nowadays and I dont want to see that.

Thanks for this quick video. Matthew Hussey work is gold and silver in this day.

They only go for the top 5% and those guys wont commit

Perhaps I can only speak of my own experience, but most of the men I've known in my life look for long term relationships first, and only go for hookups if the girl disappoints them.

I like the insight, but it's worth noting that men 20+ years ago didn't have to figure out how to present every single aspect of themselves in a specific way to get women. They asked women out and went from there. It was them following their natural instincts and it wasn't distracted by warped egos from dating apps and social media

Dude this is so spot on

I'm 39, and I've never used a dating app. Growing up, the idea of one was seen as something losers did out of desparation; the only difference now is that we have a lot more losers nowadays. The more I learn about them from others, the more I wonder why so many men are willing to dehumanise themselves. If you can't get laid in real life, how is lying on an app going to help?

dating apps are an ego booster for girls and a time waster for guys. real connections are gonna be found in real life. those platforms always seem to attract the most awful types of people, over the years that ive used them ive never met a girl that ive even been attracted to and im not picky at all, maybe it depends on location, but where i am, i have never met a girl who has been remotely appealing at all, nor having any type of good and pleasant personality

He keeps criticizing the behaivior if men in online dating as if we are playing around in the Garden of Eden yet the average guy barely even gets a match per week, what a morron totaly missed the problem. Ofc the guys EVERY women wants will play around and make them feel awful but only women can shut that down, what does he expect the 80% that get nothing to band together an unionize against the 20%?! Redicilously missguided.

Why would you not want to look at the person you are dating? When I was dating, I wanted to sit across the table, so I could see his face, and look into his eyes.

I’m excited for this episode

Even at 52, the men I dated over a six month period, from ages 32 to 54, only wanted sex, and nothing more. When I’d tell men I wouldn’t have sex on the first date, they’d insult me then block me. I got 500 likes in the first 24 hours, but not a single one read my profile. The whole experience was really degrading. 😢 Of course, I quit.

I agree 100% that dinner and/or drinks on a first date (especially) should be at the bar where you are not facing each other. In the actual restaurant it is usually quiet, there are no distractions and there is a much higher chance of having awkward silence. Go to the bar where there can be sports on the TV's, music playing to fill the silence and you can look around the room/people watch while you're coming up with interesting conversation starters. In addition, I always try to do something FUN before the dinner/drinks. Let's get to know each other by doing an activity like mini-golf or going to a place like Dave & Buster's. Then, when you're eating dinner you already have that flirty fun vibe going (if things went well) and it can continue to evolve into something bigger and better.

Once again proves they’re judging all men based on the top 10% of men.

I find this debate interesting cause I’ve totally just been used as a hookup and nothing else with girls so this idea that it’s just guys doing it is a bit unfair. I also feel to just come out and say you’re looking for a relationship scares people away as if it’s too serious?

It’s a nightmare because dating apps are conditioning you to act like a serial dater (which isn’t most people! Yet everyone now acts like one!!) Serial daters only care about the amount of dates, always has options, superficial info and appearance, instantly turned off by a red flag, so sensitive and will cut you off at the smallest thing! Wanting a relationship requires a whole different set of skills that dating apps do not provide. The profile, the list of likes, paying subscriptions, chucking men who have been on the dating app for a while at you- it’s teaching you how to be a serial dater. This whole avoidant and anxious thing is from serial daters dating people who want a relationship. Anxious attachments want a real connection that avoidants don’t know how to have because they’ve been so conditioned to not commit and keep looking for the next person. My friends who have always dated, are crazy and weird now, because they’ve succumbed to this, it even filters into their relationships IRL.

Online dating is so easy for Women it's actually crazy

6:35 - There's a whole thing now among women - "NO COFFEE DATES" - they have a point about men being low-effort and "cheap" but really, doesn't it still make more sense in terms of cost and time? Do women really want to be stuck for the beginning, middle and end of a dinner if their date turns out not to be compatible, no matter how good that meal is?

Ive had some successful hinge dates. I'm a chick btw. My preferred method is to meet in person right off the bat, because I don't have time to keep up five different texting conversations with five different people, and meeting in person will help you decide if someone's worth the time. Do a drink or a coffee somewhere public. I like to pick the place and the time, ideally somewhere I know well, then I show up five or so minutes early to pick the seat, ideally where I can see the door. When they show up, I keep it to one drink, unless its a really good conversation. At the end of that time, if I like them enough, I give them my number.

I've had a girl sit next to me and talk for 1h+ while forgetting about everything else We were swinging our feet and looking at each other 90% of the time It wasn't a date and she was taken anyway But it still felt amazing and it's one of the best memories i have She could have stood up and talked to anyone else at the party but she chose to spend the end of it with me and it made me feel special (if you've seen that moon scene shot in Cyberpunks Edgerunners that's pretty much what it looked like)

dating apps are like a tool you don’t have to use it but just understand your limiting your reach of potential’s mates if you don’t but if your okay with that and wanna meet people the old fashion way have at it

He is so spot on! I have stoped using dating-apps many years ago. The men i have met through the internet/datingapps are men who give an appearens of beeing something/someone they are not. No more online dating for me.

More men man up BS, these guys never address 70-80% divorce (female initiated). Women choose the man, choose to go on date, choose who they sleep with, etc.

Gotta love a video that starts with "I really don't know what's going on." Okay, we'll remember that.

100% agree about sitting at the bar. Plus sitting beside the woman makes it easier for you guys to start touching each other as attraction builds.

Men. Focus on yourself. Learn to love yourself. Learn to respect yourself. Learn to value yourself. If you cannot do any of the above... how can you expect a woman to do it? 🤜🤛

Can't online date. No friends = no pictures = no dates. Can't meet women through friends, obviously. No women of interest at work. Hate nightclubs which leaves me with bars. Finding a quality woman at a bar = almost impossible. There are no second acts in American life. You're either a winner or a loser.

This one time, I cross-dressed at a music festival for fun with my friends. I passed as pretty attractive girl, especially with the low light of evening hiding my stubble. It was really eye opening how men treated me. Guys tried to dance with me, a few went out of their way to just say "hey" to me, and I was like wow. This must be what all the women go through. Very eye opening experience. It had me thinking most young men needed to experience it.

This guy is trying hard not to lose his female fan base. Talking around the truth. Men DO try to get women on dates but it's hard because women are picky as hell.

Women want the top 1%, men want the top 50%

When I was dating and lived in Colorado, hiking was always a great first date. The hiking trails around Boulder were always easy. And it could always escalate to drinks or food if the hike went well.

The disparity and inequality in these daiting apps is the issue. It creates an eco chamber for really good looking/rich guys to treat women as their playthings whilst most of us "good" men struggle to get any likes. This is what needs to be adressed, not this bs he is trying to push.

Online dating for women can be very scary! Agree with him on short dates in the day! 🎉

I had actually seen videos of Matthew a few years back and thought his insights were pretty solid. I’d love to see the rest of the episode.

He barely scratched the surface of this topic

Two 36yr old Chads, not married as they have so much options are the reason most guys have given up! All the women want these guys and believe they’re entitled to them too

cannot wait for this one! im part of a generation where the 3 serious relationships ive had in my life have been from meeting from online dating and although i see the major cons of it, i do feel (at least for me), i would never meet anyone in real life because i dont go out in the evenings or to many social events much. it also means you can cast your 'net' wider and meeting people you wouldnt come across in real life necessarily. But there are many cons such as the paradox of choice and feeling theres always someone better etc, general dating app fatigue of repeating the same small talk convos on first dates and phone calls, as well as many spoken about in this clip. Like a lot of things in life there are pros and cons

Man who makes a living out of helping men avoid dating apps due to those men being less competitive than men on the app they have to compete against finds dating apps a nightmare: more news at 11.