The Guv shows how the existence of bacon proves the existence of God. ------------ Follow the Al on Twitter at / almurray Become a fan on Facebook at / thepublandlord
The sergeant major wouldn't cook bacon for you you would shove your head in the toilet then throw a bit of bacon in front of you and a bit of Timmy's coffee
Two friends, a priest and rabbi, are travelling on a train to a religious convention. At one point, the priest asks the rabbi: “I hope you don’t mind me asking, Isaac, but I’ve often wondered if you've ever tried bacon” The rabbi admitted: “Well, I did once, out of curiosity many years ago, but never again” The priest smiled kindly: “I understand, old friend. Your secret’s safe with me” A few minutes later, the rabbi asks: “Since you ask, I've sometimes wondered if you ever had sex” Quietly, the priest replied: “I did once when I was a young novice, but not since” After a pause, the rabbi grinned and said: “Better than bacon, ain’t it?”
@@sirbader1 Being a Jew is not just a religion it's also a political stance as well as an ethnic group. They were bright enough to realise John Locke was wrong.
Benjamin Franklin: Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Al Murray: Bacon is proof that God loves us and wants use to be happy. Me: These are religious ideals that I can get behind and support.
Serious comment. The difference between UK and US humour. A lot of American comedians do little more than swear a lot and make obscene jokes. They get whistles, cheers and laughs and do little else apart from wisecrack, often at the expense of others . Good UK comedians swear occasionally, involve the audience in a gentle and amusing way, and do an intelligently worked out, original, relevant and funny routine that deserves the cheers and laughs it gets.
@@Hustada Good to hear it. But Ken Dee has a point. Swearing in context is fine by me but generally childish otherwise. So-called "Adult humour" in the early '70s was merely designed to shock. It's largely lost that factor, thank heavens. And now a skilled comedian can use it to his advantage if he's intelligent enough.
Looove this skit. Will we get a 'Pigeon brain' upload too? Got an American friend who I would love to introduce to the one true Brit, our Pub Landlord ☺️
God, those memories of driving the porcelain bus...and then after you've emptied the tank, trying to sleep on the disco bed, round and round she goes until you need to go and drive the porcelain bus again.
@@phredphlintstone6455 Both feet on the floor? Golden, time for more sex please.i know you'ld not believe it, but five times in one night and again in the morning...I was younger and fitter then, we bounced off every wall in a small room and laughed about the things that got broken....oh happy days!
In all of this we missed the point that when you’re 3 sheets to the wind huddling in the corner of the bathroom between the wall and the bowl with your face on the rim is the single comfiest place in the world 😂
Apart from the stale pork scratching and the three pink guys in running shoes this is an accurate representation of every one of my Friday nights for the last 30 years. Obviously I must try harder in future!
He's right about the vegetarians too. My wife is a vego (it's a texture thing, not ethical. She just doesn't like most of it) and whenever I'm cooking bacon she says "I could eat that". I'm yet to see her actually do it, but she's repeatedly said if she were forced to eat meat she'd start with bacon.
Two mates dropped by one morning. One’s a Jew and I apologised to him as I was making bacon sandwiches. Ten minutes later, we are all tucking in and the world was right. Bacon brings peace and harmony.
It says a lot about british homes that you can mention the strip of metal that separates the carpet from the linoleum and EVERYONE knows what you're talking about and why would scraping your face against it would be a bad idea.
I once had bacon covered in chocolate. In theory that should be the best candy ever. The best salty food combined with the best sweet food. In practice it wasn't that good. The chocolate diluted the bacon.
Way better than ketchup, but cracked black pepper and a dash of hollandaise works too... In a toasted bagel with a fried egg and a slice of processed cheese. Mmmmmmm. Breakfast!
Great British comedy, courtesy of 30grand a year Bedford public school, everything here in England is better, we are so lucky, best public school's best Royal family, best cars our nissans are the best Japanese er, cars in the erm, World,
@@renditioners No need to be bitter. An expensive education isn't required to get down to your local comedy club and start doing open mics. It's a good and free way to learn if it's a craft you enjoy working on.
If you do not believe in bacon then you shall not be welcomed into heaven but struck down to hell. This was written in the third tablet that Moses dropped
