To the average man, when learning and reflecting on female nature it is all too common for them to fall into a depression, because the thought of things being this complex and fragile puts them down. I used to be this way and no matter what I did I couldn't get myself up out of that rut, because all I could think about is how frustrating it was to have to maintain all of these things in order to be a high value male. Eventually I found out how important it was to prioritize my every thought and action according to my own well-being. I started working out like a mad man, doing semen retention, drawing, reading, meditating, incorporating some sort of movement activity (for me this was hacky sack, and I got really good). As long as we keep up on our own lives, that is enormously important. Get out of your rut, stop being so damn depressed that women are this way, and improve your damn self. There is truly only one thing for you to do do as a man, and it is to fucking move forward and embrace the pain of development, in all it's facets. Have something you hate to do because it makes you uncomfortable? Do that thing right now, for as long as you possibly can. You're welcome fam.
I did exactly that! Absolute SUCCESS! A women looks at you in the Gym and thinks. Wow that guy sure takes care of himself, what a Build. M--m-m- he must take care of his whole life! Girl: I want to be with him! Remember Guys: Girls are nit interested in a man's struggle they just hang out at the finish line and pick the Winner!
The guy a women likes is the guy that has all these "tips and tricks" as a natural way of living a busy life with a kind of purpose in his step and have a well developed good character. At first we need to learn all these things from either studying or interacting with women the hard way and it doesn't feel right at first but then we start to live it and realize it's just the way you act naturally when you are happy and satisfied with you life and it's gonna attract anyone! If we want to improve we need to emulate at first the succesful people until we start living it ourselves. We all start somewhere and work ourselves up. :)
Notes on the video: In the first 3-6 months, being “too available” will affect a woman’s perception of your value. It’s subconscious for her. Don’t think, “If I’m here for her whenever she wants or needs me, she’ll like me more and become more attractive to her.” Or, “I have to strike while the iron is hot or I’ll lose her and she’ll forget about me.” Or, “I have to be available for her because I bet she’s super busy, and she’s awesome.” Or, “I just have to be who I am, and I really like her, so I’m going to keep texting her throughout the day, showing her my interest.” Being too available repels her. If you push her away a little bit, in the right way, you powerfully attract her. Probably because men who are actually busy and making an impact on the world really are too busy for her some of the time. A confident, secure man won’t be afraid she’ll forget about him; or, it won’t drive his actions. Less available = more going on = more secure = better life than most guys More available to one woman, less available to another = both will see you differently Be a bit more of a scarce resource. Definitely lead the process forward: ask for her number, go for a kiss, etc. BUT DON’T CHASE. Don’t keep pulling her in. Pull her in, and push her away. Five ways to avoid being perceived as too available: 1) Always end everything before she wants it to end. Light touch on the arm? Take it away before she gets uncomfortable. Verbal compliment + playful challenge: “You’re so adorable-like, the third most adorable girl I’ve seen all day.” Initiate the kiss, but pull back before she does. Step forward; step back and let her come to you. On a date: end on a high note if possible. Keep the first few pretty brief. “I’m having so much fun with you right now, but I need to go.” Walk her to the car or drive her home, but then disappear for a few days. That’s when her interest in you goes up-not when you’re texting her all the time. Then repeat the process. 2) If you want her to be your girlfriend, do not agree to a same-day meetup with her. “I’d love to but I’m busy/not available. Can we do it (1-3 days from now)?” If she texts you at 10 pm, don’t respond then; respond in the morning. Also, don’t just decline; also give a counteroffer. This is way different than most guys would do. You’re not saying no. You’re just delaying; not dropping everything to be with her, even though you’re interested in her. 3) Do NOT ask her out for another date while you’re on a date. Disappear for a few days, then ask her out again. 4) Do NOT ask a woman when you can see her again. That will crush her interest. You’re asking her to take the lead-YOUR role-and you’re telling her you’re available anytime she is. Don’t give her your gameplan. Let her think and wonder. Then DO ask her out again, if you like her, for a specific date. 5) If she declines your date invitation, DO NOT immediately offer her more dates and times that work for you. “How about Thursday/Friday/Saturday-any day until I’m dead?” If she’s interested, she will usually make a counteroffer. If she doesn’t, your best bet is to assume she’s not interested and just move on. If you’re right, you’ve saved yourself a lot of time, energy, and self-respect. If you’re wrong and she IS interested in you, then after some time, she’ll get the idea you’ve moved on, and she may re-establish contact with you or make a delayed counteroffer. COULD ask her out again in 4-8 days, but no more if she declines both invitations without offering a specific date-time. “Can we do it some other time” is not a counteroffer. She’s not interested in you. Women are attracted to us because our time and attention are valuable. To ensure you’re actually not too available, get some hobbies you find meaningful and enjoyable.
The secret is not forgetting about your own needs first. By playing this tug of war game with a female and "being available" or "pulling her in then pushing her away" - you could potentially end up losing her and if she's actually intelligent and worth it then this advice won't work for you. Not trying to be a jerk but, look the point is to be mindful about YOURSELF before your mind is focused on any woman. Believe what you want. The truth is when you focus on yourself first that's literally a magnet for women. It's automatic and you don't need to be playing psychological warfare to get women. Whoever reads this and knows what I am talking about will agree with me.
Hey Jim I got to say you have the best relationship advice I have found on RU-vid. There's a lot of good relationship coaches here but you are so thorough. I'm about to turn 65. I keep myself super healthy and in shape I workout. I look much younger than my age. I know exactly what kind of woman I want. And at the current time I have at least four ladies that are actually beautiful wanting to be part of my life. I stay busy and they know how valuable my time is. And for the most part they're always reaching out to me. Thanks Jim!
Kinda make sense as men don’t want women to be available all the time too since they want their eyes roaming around too. So it’s important that they both are less available to each other for the attraction to remain in eyes and mind of the other.
Ehhh, a man who knows what he wants won't have a wondering set of eyes; not like how you're describing wandering eyes. The secret is not forgetting about your own needs first. It's nothing to do with "being available" or "pull her in, push her away". This advice doesn't work on all women. Be mindful about YOURSELF before your mind is on any woman. Believe what you want.
Hmmm the women’s dating advice all says that men who are “always busy” aren’t interested in making time for you so just move on. We’re also told to pull away and to be “busy” to make a guy chase you as women because that’s “feminine energy”, but if I guy is doing this too... how do you get anywhere? Also, I get uneasy if a guy doesn’t plan another date right away. This is so confusing.
Good points. I think the key is the "pull" part of the push-pull. You can't just refuse a date because it's same-day; if you're interested, you should refuse *and suggest another specific date/time/place.*
Awesome Video! Very helpful! I think it’s sad how this is the game we have to play to be in a strong relationship because guys get to the point quickly, and women love the slow emotional build up. The process is so slow and videos like this help keep us on the right track to avoid the wrong types of relationships. We’re not wasting years of our time just for the wrong person to throw away that slow emotional build up and get to the point with another guy. Imagine how many terrible relationships would’ve happened if these guys didn’t make these vids 👍 No wonder why so many people quit on finding relationships. This is the type of knowledge you have to earn, learn, and apply in the real world to have an affective outcome. If you didn’t learn any of this, then you don’t deserve to be in a relationship lol
I understand the women want the whole fairy tale of falling in love, but this stuff seems goofy because A). If your talking to multiple women now you have to keep track of being so called “busy”, and that’s just unnatural. We know a man is supposed to be dedicated to his life goal but people are not busy all the time and we also know everyone keeps their mobile phone in their hands and face. B). If a male celebrity was texting an average chick she would never think he was too available, she’d want to comply with all his demands right then and there. I love the videos but there’s some fallacy in these tactics. It doesn’t have to be this concise just to express feelings for someone...
This is my mindset but it doesn't always work. A girl recently blocked me on whats app because I took too long to reply to her messages... So why did that happen?
@@driftinxer She will unblock you if you remain indifferent. Been in that spot several times, sometimes they take a month or even more, they will unblock you and apologize.
Ahm, being a woman - I like a guy who is available for me. My schedule is also super busy, so when he is available, it makes me feel safe with him, that it’s ok to plan things at least in my mind, it gives that room for that. Whereas unavailable men give off a feeling of neglect. Also, when it’s the beginning stage, we are very distracted and can lose attention (in this era) and switch to someone else who WILL show up. You haven’t built a reputation yet, feelings aren’t that strong, just another face, why should we try cut you slack for your hot & cold behavior?, When actually, you gotta work to make it hot in the first place. Attraction ain’t easy. Get your sh*t together, get your confidence, THEN get out and get women. NOT with games.
The premise here is about being "too" available due to neediness, insecurity, fear, etc. It's definitely an attraction killer for both men and women, unless they are very insecure with themselves as well.
Hey Ms Chantaé, I was watching it to understand myself. I’m attracted to entrepreneurs.. I wanted to understand why. But this video was not the answer 😝
Me: I'm a busy man.... Only can date you Saturdays and some Sundays.... She:I want someone who has time for a relationship., I don't want a one day relationship, bye.... Been there.
I don't think every woman will see this as playing games.what im getting from this video is as man I DON'T need to be NEEDY and DESPERATE because if so I'll will push alot of women away with that type of behavior besides with me it's all about (balance).
I'm going 2 keep following Jesus N do what HE says in HIS word. N that makes me a leader. 1st Corinthians 11:3, Ephesians 5:23-25, Gen. 1: 26, Gen. 2:18 &24-25 👑🌍💕
I’ve had instances where women would ask me “will you want to see me again?” Or something else along those lines during our date. I’m not sure how to respond to that. I do want to stay a challenge but I also don’t want to giver her the wrong impression and push her away... What do you recommend I do/say?
She asks you that because she wants you to say, "Yes", but she doesn't want to KNOW that. She needs to be a part of this; she wants mystery, suspense. She wants to show you how she can persuade you with her charms. That's the fun of it, that's the challenge for her. Your response is something playful like, "Well, that depends on you, doesn't it?" or "Why, do most of your dates end up disappearing under mysterious circumstances?" Something that keeps the banter going. Anything but "Yes", because then, that's the end of the game.
Never do long distance relationships cause you're basically an emotional tampon to her. Break it off, then when she returns, restart back up. Save all the stress and heartache. Shes gonna fuxk other dudes. Thats female nature.
Yeah, when you say you're not available she texts another guy who shtomps her when she needs. Or she goes on a date with another one and shtomps the same day. And you sit alone being proudly unavailable
This is just way to much of being perfect that I am not. I could not remember half of this stuff I am not a perfect. To much for my mind to do. I guess I will be lonely for the rest of my life.
@@johnbockmann I love when people bring up the hole. Work on yourself BS. I have been there and back. More times then I can count. But still not the first girlfriend or first kiss. And fuck sex I am to damn old. In my middle 40s. I am no longer really have any sex drive. Or drive peard. But I have never had sex before and still never will. But no one wants a retarded guy. I have about as much hope of being with a hot female. Then I have of wining the 100 million lottery 100 times in a row. BS don't wast your time with this guy's advice. Working on yourself does shit for you. I mean it did nothing for me after damn decades and decades and decades of it. Work on yourself what a crock of BS.
@@johnbockmann I have nothing I am good at. I have never been smart enough or goodenuff. When your a retarded or dumb failure. Like me no matter what you work on you only get worse. When I was born I was fucked from the very first day. Never had a chance.
@@SandTguy Sounds like you were shown and told this a lot as a kid, and it never got better. What makes life less tragic for you--what do you kind of enjoy?
I know that you appear to have it all figured out. I don't know if it's just me, but not all of your advice on your channel seems accurate. For instance, one time I heard you say (of course, I'm summarizing) that men shouldn't be too open about their feelings toward a woman. In my opinion, I don't think this is true. It's easy for an insecure woman (from personal experience) to assume most men do not like them until they give out a verbal acknowledgement of how much they like them.
I think we're all insecure. And until I was about to give a cute girl my number this morning and talked myself out of it, I thought I was way more secure than I am. But Jim's point is to *show* a girl you like her, not *tell* her. At least don't "pull" without a "push"--not at first. It's flirty and builds attraction, and I think the key is to be honest but light and playful at first. Easier said than done.
When ever it is her idea which is actually the only time a woman is interested it becomes your choice. Remember it is always when she is ready no matter what.
It’s hilarious last week I had a date where I was crushing it and she said let’s hangout Thursday then I hung out with her the next day we often hangout after work and I was acting kinda weak and vulnerable and she smelled it and I said we’re hanging thursday right? and she said no I can’t then I crushed it again on another date and she said let’s hang Thursday Haha I told her no I’m busy now I gotta check my schedule and she was kinda petty and upset about it what’s funny is she never remembers saying no I can’t what’s funny is she probably texted me asking to hang for Thursday no thanks.
Jim, I’m about to ask out a girl I love that I have been playing it cool with. Should I ask here out right before I go to Rome for 10 days, then go on the date afterwards, if she says yes, so she knows how busy I actually am? Thanks
John Gaetano - asking her out before leaving on the trip undermines what you have built so far because your essentially communicating “I’m desperate, you are all I will think about on my trip” Bite your tongue. Keep playing it cool! Let her wonder what you were up to while in Rome?😏
Don't ask her until you get back. If you speak to her, say "I'm sorry, I'll be out of town; can we make it the (specific day of the week)after I get back?" Don't say where. If she asks, say "I'm just taking a few days off; I'll be back in town on the 7th...I'll give you a call then, OK?"
If Women in Michigan put in effort perhaps i would have a Woman in my Life!! Yes I am a Handsome guy and a Busy person. Like i said, Women are Money HUNGRY here in Michigan!! They are attracted to Men who have Money. Makes it Easier for the Women to get the Guy...
Could be testing you to see if you have the balls to make the move. i've been in this situation before and it's normally the case if the signs of attraction are there.
Not a problem. Act as though she's not interested and move on. If she isn't, congratulations: you've just saved yourself some (maybe a lot of) time and trouble. If she is interested, she'll find a way to be in touch.
Here's my problem, the girl I'm interested in lives with me lol. We have a nice little thing building and I know she's interested, but it makes it impossible to dissappear or pull back successfully cuz she always knows when I'm home and what I'm doing lol.
Seems like a solid strategy. Creepily bail in the middle of a good date and then double down on the creepy, inauthentic game playing and ghost her. That will surely raise her attraction level.
Hmmmm. I am Busy with Work and other things. Still Single!!! I think that the Women in Michigan are way too LAZY to actually give me a chance... Then again if I had More Money Women would go out with me. I only make 30K a year Gross a year. Definitely not enough for these Women in Michigan.
Very nice and sweet point. If you have any time for a whaman, then you are needy. If you dont then you are a selfish ahole....im currently trying to balance it out with one bitch. Society tells you to fight for her, im telling you and myself: you are a fool for embracing more problem than you originally destined to
I’m a woman and I call BS on this game makes me want to call men dogs and date only women never leave the door open for the next man to step up where you fell off
I don't like it either, and I'm a man. But this is for men, so they don't overwhelm you and ruin your desire for them. It's to build something lasting, not temporary (even if it's fun). And in my experience, he's right.
I'm a female and dont agree with all this guys if u love for real u love hard with all ure heart unconditionally and unintuentally with all ure heart forever no matter what so sounds like ure giving tips on playing games try and see where all this gets u good luck all
Bullshit. If you are really busy i its freee only NOW you answer immediately and set the date imediately. Otherwise you fail also se coherence test; if you like her, than you wait now 1 Month until you got back from holydays or you fuck her right now before you leave? The more "alpha" you are the less you overthink your game and your life and your type that noone can substitute games for you. Anyway I try to see what i can learn here. I messed up by not saying no to 7 dates, now i have lost the girl. I could have said no before, to something.
Again what the hell are you talking about? If I was busy, happy, and satisfied being alone, why would I seek a women and dating advice and info? You guys are on crack. Only Like what likes you, get immersed in a hobby or something you love. Don't text her and let her know how you feel. Instead play games and be disingenuous and THEN she'll like you.
This seems like an awful lot of bullshit and hassle for what ? You are making women sound like some valuable prize. They are just an activity , not a final destination . I like working on my car , going fishing , and watching sports.....I call an escort when i want one......I love my life.....
