Why Did My Ex Give Up On Us and Me? 

Your story gives me hope in my situation

Amazing love this

I've had some experience with no contact before, and it's worked. But I still doubt the power of it sometimes. Me and my ex (long distance) had a very happy 2 years, and were never truly toxic for each other. However her mental health had severely declined over time, and her self-esteem kept continuing to drop despite all my efforts. The distance also seemed to have gotten to her, and she wanted someone in person. She would try to break up, however I'd always talk her out of it because she would always say that she "doesn't feel good enough for me." Eventually though enough was enough, and I guess she decided to leave me for another guy. It was a complicated situation and I stuck around for 2-3 months to see if she'd come back, but she was always too unresponsive or confused it seemed like. Even after he broke up with her around this time, I thought she would take the time to reflect. But instead I found out on accident (thanks Instagram for "based on photos you liked.") she's in another relationship only two weeks from the last (with another guy who really doesn't seem anything at all like me). I started no contact a week before Christmas and she sent me a greeting to my surprise, and a week later asked me over voice message if I still wanted to watch season 2 of Dr. Stone when it comes out like we had planned (when we were together). I texted her yes a few hours later, but very shortly after that was also when I found out about the new guy, so I asked if she was dating anyone (to see if she would tell me, and also because I wouldn't wanna watch it while she's with someone). It's been two weeks since then without a reply, and I was blocked the next day on Facebook. Not sure if she suspects that I found out thru Facebook, or is just trying to hide the guy from me not knowing that I actually found out thru other means? But I suppose that doesn't really matter in the end. Who knows if my number is also blocked though at this point as well, so I never said anything else back. I'm not really looking to find out.. Anyway I'm glad to see it worked for you.. I genuinely hope she comes back. We were supposed to meet for the first time in October after three years of waiting, but covid ruined our plans (plans we made since a year before) and now I'm in this mess. She doesn't seem to be completely opposed to dating again when I asked in our last phone call, but she would prefer if I can be there in person. With that said I do actually feel like I still need to see her regardless on if we could date or not again, just for proper closure. But it's still something that crosses my mind.. Will I ever have her back again? Having her gone from my life honestly feels like a dream. It's such a painful feeling as well waking up knowing that you just had a dream about the person you love, and it not being true. I had a few dreams about her already. In particular ones of her and us being intimate, and me staring at my phone seeing a text from her giving me a proper apology, as well as showing willingness to repair our relationship. Sorry that was a long message, but thank you for reading if you did. Hope things continue to still do well for you.

Thanks for the inspiration. Congrats!!

Thank you Luke, you're giving me hope. But I'm afraid because she's found someone else and she says she's happy. I made her happy and I cared for her. I even saved her from suicide. Now I've disappeared for a month and about two weeks. She hasn't said anything.

So very true

Is that what you are experiencing?

Exactly, they will continue the cycle because they need to work on communication, fidelity and themselves.

yes.....it's like my ex girlfriend right now who just loves the drama and feels she has to go along with what her annoying friends are telling her all of which are miserable with their own relationships themselves married to older men in their 70's lacking any kind of intimacy whatsoever. I feel like i can't win. helpless

Great question! I honestly can’t answer it. For me: I just feel drawn to keep trying instead of finding someone new.

@@stephaniemand i agree with this 100%

Yes it hurts like hell but why be with someone who easily gives up on your relationship. They don’t love, respect you and probably never did. We need to find someone who truly values us and will to put in the work to stay together. Attraction will come and go over time in long term relationship.

exactly 2 months here as well. mine left after i retired from the air force and moved across the country to get my kids situated. She grew impatient after a few months and breaks up with me out of the blue. it was like being shot in the stomach after all the stress i put myself through in the 4 years we were together. nothing I can do i guess

It's gonna hurt be strong 💪 it's hard one day at a time god bless 🙏🙏 .

@@edwinhakobyan7481 for real, really I'm with you on that

@@indaybadiday8884 Yet here you are.

'You'll never be good enough for the wrong person' - That hit hard. I can now put a time limit on working on trying to turn this around as i'm just torturing myself and damaging my self esteem by the day with this occupying so much of my mind, I thank you for that greatly.

@@elharrop You are definitely going to have to work to regain your self esteem. Whether your ex made u feel inadequate, or a history of rejection, or failed previous relationships. Check out RC Blake’s channel here on RU-vid. I’ve found some helpful tools on his channel.

I wish I knew that BEFORE the five months of going out with him. I wish I knew that also BEFORE his dad did something annoying and weird.

If they can’t appreciate u dude it’s their problem

😞

same here, wish you the best

@@olajideogunlana5016 don't reply, today... Reply tomrw. And reply calmly, in a way that you don't give her the impression that you have been waiting to hear from her

@@olajideogunlana5016 good now, u should ask her, If she is stil keeping well but only like one sentence and only after she has replied

Yup. My ex gf dumped me after not seeing each other for 2 months (covid) but the weird part is we went long distance for a while thru college.

I agree. We barely spoke on the phone, and basically just seeing each other on the weekends.

😕

@@lettie1569 same

@@pupbun2849 how are you now? are you 2 back together?

I feel the same way. Little things got in my mind and separated us. This stuff hurts!

Same

This is my experience with my ex. He was always on his device, high and or drinking. He broke up with me after a year of living together and I am crushed. I know I was far from a perfect girlfriend but I was always willing to keep trying. After 2 weeks of limited contact he tried to initiate sex but I resisted even though I wanted it too. Now I am even sadder because the breakup feels fresher than ever. I feel like my working hard on myself has begun attracting him back but I dont want to ruin anything by giving in to urges. I still love him and am rtyng to let go but now im sadder than ever.

This is what I did too. I'm hoping she sees that I'm sober now and after some much needed no contact she reaches out again. If not I'm still doing good for myself

i doubt it with avoidants .happy new year

@@WHaAteVaA avoidants might take longer than you think is what I just told you.

@@wilsontunner4510 how much does this man bench press? 🤔. Asking for a friend!

You think so Jason?

This year he didn't greet me on Christmas, on my birthday and on New Year. It felt like we broke up again. I don't think I can ever move on. I planned the future with him already. :(

I wish my ex will do the same 😔

Hey I’m pleased it worked out for you! How are you guys getting on now? 🙂

Lucky :(

You’re so lucky

me too, ive learned a lot

100%. honest and sincere. He is the best , and believe me, I have listened to so many of them.

Exactly. That's not enough effort on their part for you to reach out.

For anyone wondering that’s when they put out bait to see if you will reach out… don’t

I did the same thing with the list...she said “it shouldn’t take someone feeling bad or breaking up with you to do those things.” I don’t get it.

Happy for you!

@@DB-lr6kl I didnt come with no list but I told her I need to change. I just need to get stronger tho cuz the breakup got me weak

That really sounds like the most awful situation to be in especially this time of year. Ive been heartbroken for the past 2 months only and it really hurts still.

@@barflin I feel terrible for you. You have to look after yourself... eat healthy and exercise. It's a long road when you've truly loved somebody.

I really feel sorry for you that's so unfair 😞

@@robertmoruri6762 As time moves on, you realize how little someone cared about you. Obviously there was something I missed. I would sure like to know what happened, or what I missed.

@@ianbrown5955 ....Thank you so much. wishing you a Happy New Year.

Happy New Year 2021

Happy new year!

@@patrickhoven3816 how much does this powerful man bench press? Asking for a friend. 🤔

@@aidenojiemarvis4743 how much does this powerful man bench press? Asking for a friend 🤔

@@sergiogodinez2496 he didn't charge me any money

Rebecca Anderton, you deserve better

He will be back

How are you now

Hey how are u sis? Im 34yrs old next year of January. My bf just broke up with me just recently, i thought we were good and going to get married soon but he gave up. Im so hopeless already. My dream of having my own family and kids just shuttered instantly. I hope you already moved on and find the right man for you.

Just to add: Personally finding new friendships opened up new doors in my life. And going back to dating was refreshing. I leave all options open now and if my ex gets back to me, then we'll see what happens.

@@poedottaviano6924 Very proud of you. ⚘️

@@jannlewandowski5540 Thank you 😊

Very good and insightful comment, bless your soul

Just an update: After a couple short term gf's, I got in touch with that bigger ex, but she said she was over me, and honestly it's what I wanted to hear for closure..finally!. Plus I realized she was just too controlling for me, in the long term. I realized I gave in to her way too much. So I blocked her and deleted all texts. Currently I have a new gf and she's great and heck it's extremely exciting. The fun is in the journey after all. 😊 I just thought I'd share that for anyone who is going through a breakup and can't close that door.

Same exactly thing happened to me. She wouldn’t give a even a few minutes of her time.

@@axelbriggjern3534 yes, indeed. It's making me hopeless in this current situation..

@@U.Sir.Name7 that's unfortunate to hear.. it's hard when both of you are not really on the same page and for me, I just realized that if I risked traveling towards him but he still didn't want to talk to me, it's gonna crush me more.. and of course, I don't wanna give him that "stalker" kind of vibe.. for now, the best option for us dumpees is to focus on ourselves and move forward even if it's hard.

@@axelbriggjern3534 yes, unfortunately. That's also a constant battle to me everyday that I do not break NC. We definitely need to stand our ground so as to let our self respect remain intact. The waiting game is the hardest part tho.. Ive been doing it along with his family members without him knowing because they also believe that the relationship is worth saving.. 😢

@@JannNavarro09 I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too.

He’s taking you for granted. You’re no longer a challenge in his mind. Go out with another guy. He just thinks he can find better than you. That’s how men typically act in relationships. They stop trying when they think they have you.

I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too....

you have a nice smile :)

This is literally me! 153 days since my breakup and we were together for 6 years. Found out during the breakup that she had someone lined up before letting me go.

Wow man. My 6 year relationship just ended too. I broke the no contact rule but that was before I ever seen coach lee's videos. We've been speaking here and there but she's been giving so many mixed signals. One minute she says we're over, next minute she says she wants to marry me one day but she's not happy with herself and needs to work on herself. We just had a decent convo on the phone on Wednesday then out of nowhere she sends me a link to a song basically saying she has to go her own way and that we may be able to connect sometime down the road.

@@shkrsimpson44 lmao bro did we get dumped by the same girl? My ex told me this isnt a break up (it was) and that if its meant to be it will work itself out. Tbh, when they are so indecisive and not committed to ending it I just assume that they need some time/space alone. Idk about your situation but we began dating at 16, so I think she’s just trying to test the waters before she settles down.

@@leftwinglimbaugh9224 yea I think it's the same for me bro. She's about to hit 30 and wants to be married with kids. I told her I ABSOLUTELY want that with her as that was always my intentions. But I'm not sure if she sees it with me or what. She's also not happy with her career or financial situation. So I think it's like you said, she just NEEDS time alone. I'm just going to give her that.

@@shkrsimpson44 yep sounds very similar. Well good luck to you, and I hope it all works out for you 👍

I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too....

alan b. One disagreement? Something does not sound right with her. You're probably better off.

I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too.

TRUE

Coming from a woman in NC after a breakup ... this is so true!

@@pinkstetoscope8027 if I don’t care about u , ur not worth me arguing or fighting for us

Fake news. Yall always come back because u get dumped by the new guy.

@@jahleelx9270 I’m not the one that was the dumper and tbh after a while u start to see the mind games being played and no one wants to go through that

@@jahleelx9270 also I can’t even bring myself to want to date anyone this soon ... not even thinking of that at all

lordgawain, I definitely understand how you're feeling. The TRUTH comes out. You take good care of yourself, and I wish you the BEST. ❤

Yet it's your job to communicate this to them. How is she supposed to know you are drifting apart emotionally if you don't talk about it? Of course she will be shocked

@@curtisdouglas8488 Thank you for your info and glad you two are back together.

@@misstali6303 hey I'm so sorry that you got hurt in such a bad way❤️😘

I know....there are some days after our breakup i just can't get out of bed feeling like i lost something so important after 4 years. I need to rethink everything now and plan something different all of a sudden.

@@barflin it's totally normal, you human so don't be hard on yourself and allow yourself time to grieve ❤️and know that you are not alone 😘

@@shann6987 thank you

Longer for me 6 months it sucks

Maybe you Try the imagination technique and live in the end...its proven my ex cant stop communicating to me even tho he was the one who dumped me he should go away and leave me alone its because at night i kept imagining he still crazy about me still have feelings for me..i don’t initiate contact but he did all the time..text call and sometimes invite me over he cook dinner (NO INTIMATE)not even a kiss either,probably i don’t imagine that way,but just give him a lesson that even he dump me he still crazy about me

He even told me he loves me but he is not in love with me(ouch!) And say,i cant let you go i don’t know why? And it still hurt me so much!...yeah right dude because in my imagination i wont let you go either!!!!so yeah imagination and live in the end is what i do

@@patrickhoven3816 who cares!nobody should cast a spell for love and pay thousands of dollars....that’s desperate vibe energy nobody should beg/chase whoever

@@MyOwnquantumBubble same literally same.

Melodie Thompson. I can recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you. It will show you strategies for your situation. myexbackcoach.com/ebk

And sadly you realize that AFTER the break up 😭💔, and this is exactly what happened to me.

@@mikemcgeady6032 me too

I can recommend you to a man who can help you bring your ex back within few-days He was the one who also helped me too

message him on whatspp for help

±19789358886⏯⏯❣️❣️

±19789358886⏯⏯❣️❣️

@@anasssani6392 no thanks taking poison again hoping it has a different effect is outright insane!

Is the attraction means “fall out of love??

​@@axelbriggjern3534 Thank you brotha

@@CoDLikeAhhBoss I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too....

I think 4 months is too long. She was playing with your emotions. She wasn't that attracted.

Snake 🐍 oil peddler. Trying to make money off of other’s heartbreak and misery.

I’m sorry and I have felt the same, I may be farther into my journey than you are...talk maybe it will help. I’m no coach but I have watched most videos and other coaches as well

@@lisat5666 you are very kind

Hey, take a deep breath... It feels like that in the beginning but time makes u stronger... Just don't act out on those emotions, u might do something you'll regret later, don't worry we have all been there, it gets better and you become stronger

@@sandysmith71 I know that feeling of desperation I was there just a couple of weeks ago and it comes and goes still.

Hahaha

I agree!

@@RealCoachLee Thanks Coach Lee, genuinely curious about the dynamic between two people who both say that they "want" the breakup but still have feelings. Looking forward to it! Keep up the great work

Yes, I talk about long distance relationships and those are extremely difficult. They almost always fail. And it is because attraction alone is rarely enough to keep them attracted if you two simply aren't seeing each other enough. Read that again LOL. It's like trying to pull yourself up by your own shoe laces.

TheMissy2, First of all, let me say how very sorry I am to hear of your condition. After all the years you two were together, how could anyone who LOVES you, do that to you? I KNOW someday he will be sorry, and he will NEVER FORGET all that you two had. God bless you, and take care of YOU! Don't be concerned about him. Big hug for you.🫂🌷❤❤

I appreciate your kind words thank you@@jannlewandowski5540

Wishing you luck this new year !!!! Your daughter loves you because you seem a protective father. You will win this fight and I wish you this day next year to be with your little girl !!!!

@@Lina_5_ thank you so much I really appreciate your kind words.peace & blessings to you.

Michie, I can recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit. It has EVERYTHING in it, including strategies. myexbackcoach.com/ebk

johnnycalderon9, Johnny, she sounds like she lost attraction in a 2 wk period, or she found someone new. That's very strange when she asks you about marriage and then dumps you. She sounds very confused to me, and I personally would not want to be with her after all that. I'm sorry to hear about this entire situation, but I believe you're better off. Best of luck to you. If you want some extra help, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which will help you. myexbackcoach.com/ebk

Couldn’t agree more 👍🏼👍🏼

Caramel Macchiato, you deserve better

@@lioydwilliams1850 Aw this hit me hard. Thank you, Lloyd.

Luke Foster, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which is excellent and POWERFUL. It has EVERYTHING in it including strategies for every situation. myexbackcoach.com/ebk

Judy K, I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit. It has EVERYTHING in it. myexbackcoach.com/ebk

I'm an emo too 😀

Whatever happened you don’t know for sure it’ll happen again, I’ve learned that.

Same situation here.....we were together since June 2016 and she broke up with me at the end of October 2020. it was like being stabbed in the gut. I think about her every hour every day and I'm still trying to figure it all out. Sorry to hear

Barflin, sorry to hear that...i pray and hope that we come back to this comment section and share how they come back into our lives as a testimony

@@Otj_Ary good luck to us ALL

Thank you so much. Happy New Year to you. better than the last I hope.

@@barflin Where are you roughly in the world? Always curious about other YT commenters. I'm in south-west England :)

Same I’m so hurt from this type of mental abusive game from covert narc

I can recommend you to a man who can help you bring your ex back within few-days He was the one who also helped me too

message him on whatspp for help

±19789358886⏯⏯⏯⏯ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up......

message him on whatspp for help ,

I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too.

Jack, it's never too late. Anything can happen. Try Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which will help you. It has EVERYTHING you need including strategies for every situation. myexbackcoach.com/ebk

stellar, I read your comments and I'm reading in between the lines. I'm wondering were you ever at his place? Also, why did your children never meet? I'm thinking that he's acting like a married man. I could be wrong, but he's been using you, and if you see him again, he will use you again. Stay away from him! I want to recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you which will help you immensely. totally get how insanely tough it is, and I've been right there in the same boat. You gotta check out Coach Lee's "Emergency Breakup Kit." It's an awesome guide that'll save you from feeling totally lost in this crazy time. It tackles all sorts of situations and gives you strategies you never even considered. You can find it at myexbackcoach.com/ebk. Seriously, I'm rooting for you and hoping it works wonders!

i want to read the 6 replies to your comment but they aren't showing for some reason. Im trying to figure out what type of disorder she had and try to make sense of the breakup.

I was involved with a narcissist for 5 years, and it was horrific! I left him in our 5th year, after I got out of the hospital. They have no empathy, they lie and cheat. I never knew what a narc was until I went into Therapy. They are Monsters!! Best wishes to you for a prosperous New Year.⚘️

fine_Geh, OK, so there are issues and you both can work them out. Stay in NO Contact and when your time Is complete, I recommend Coach Lee's Workshop, even if it's just for you. It would be better to see you make up and work on those issues. I don't know if you are aware, but Coach Lee has a live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." It's an incredible learning experience that I just can't say enough about. It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. I think you'll agree that it's an incredibly eye-opening and immensely helpful experience for you.

@@daudaisah8259 i think he already took me for $2,500 and nohting happened