Why Do All My Relationships Crash and Burn?

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Why Do All My Relationships Crash and Burn?
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21 окт 2024

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@supernotnatural 5 месяцев назад

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ― Bob Marley

@JanesOracle 5 месяцев назад

...and I've read that Bob Marley cheated repeatedly on his wife. So in that context this line sounds a bit different. Still love his music though.

@Jcasilleri 5 месяцев назад

I’ve wouldn’t quote a rapist for this situation

@Topself24 5 месяцев назад

Amen!!

@supernotnatural 5 месяцев назад

@@JanesOracle The iconic reggae star's wife explained why she stood by her cheating man in her 2004 memoir: "Just because he cheated on me doesn’t mean he was a bad husband. He always provided for me, always gave me anything I wanted. But he was corrupted by show business, by the girls that would throw themselves at him." Don't hate the playa, hate the game?

@salomeyul 5 месяцев назад

@@supernotnatural that's called living in denial and also placing the blame on the "girls who threw themselves at him". Ohhh poor Robert, couldn't say no. Poor weak man. That's a stinking pile of BS. Also, is she was ok with trading her values for food and money, so be it, but that by no means makes his actions ok.

@PaolaHuezo 5 месяцев назад

“If busyness is your drug, rest will be your stress.” BOOM, that hit me deep.

@indiaandrews6996 5 месяцев назад

The caller had parents who didn’t love their daughter unconditionally. They were judgmental and conditional in their love. That’s why the caller tried to work for their love. Being at home probably helped pay her way through school but it is a toxic environment.

@nalayini1504 5 месяцев назад

Agreed!

@annebraun581 Месяц назад

Yes yes yes andddd Yes!

@violetl2217 5 месяцев назад

Man… thanks for posting this John. I’m a long time watcher, first time commenter. This caller and I had a lot in common - over-achieving to prove something, trying to find validation in my parents with no luck, trouble forming long-lasting friendships. I never really considered that I was more closed off than I thought - being over-agreeable, watering down who I am around others to be more likable, etc. You said at one point “That’s why you find people so exhausting … it’s performative!” and a lightbulb went off in my brain. Friendship has felt so hard because it feels like I’m putting on a show and not allowing people in to the fullest extent. Thank you for pointing this out :)

@BeckyAnnHill 5 месяцев назад

Same here!

@ashleyduckworthyt3224 5 месяцев назад

Watering down who you are leaves others to think you may not have much substance. Be a magnet!! Your opinions and morals will attract who it’s meant to and repel folks who cant see your value. YOU GOT THIS GIRL

@hollyj2925 5 месяцев назад

Definitely relate!

@laurabarber6697 5 месяцев назад

Try this: I'd rather be rejected for who I REALLY am then accepted for who I PRETEND to be! 🔥😎🔥.

@BirdDogey1 5 месяцев назад

This was me. I received nothing from home as a kid. I have always tried to over achieve and was successful. Picked the wrong people for years. Took me a long time to realize I won and can rest.

@bigdave2073 5 месяцев назад

I'm so glad John mentioned how performative the caller was. I hope she finds some peace, it sounds like she's been through a lot.

@Olacoker 5 месяцев назад

Did I call in and not even remember it?

@gman24310 5 месяцев назад

“My trust levels have been at zero for years.” There’s your problem, sis! You’ve answered your own question!

@ExorFS 5 месяцев назад

How does one learn to trust people after getting screwed over time after time?

@gman24310 5 месяцев назад

@@ExorFSI’m not a doctor, nor am I a medical professional. However, relearning how to trust people after getting screwed over countless times isn’t something you can do by yourself. A good starting point is to seek professional help from a therapist. I’ve gone to therapy, and it’s probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

@ddavis8988 5 месяцев назад

@@ExorFS That's like asking how you learn to get back in the car again after a traumatic accident. The answer is, you have to get back in the car again. You don't learn to trust by reading a book. You learn to trust by trusting.

@eliocosmos 5 месяцев назад

⁠@@ExorFSWhat helped me was to find the silver lining in each “getting screwed.” (And there have been plenty.) Once I did that, I realized I actually had to thank them, not be mad or afraid of them, and then I became happy and went on my way.

@andromeda3780 5 месяцев назад

@@ExorFSyou don't! You become neutral about it, and trusting others become no longer an issue. I used to have deeply ingrained trust concerns. Then, after a long, so long run of disappointments, I have finally come to term with my concerns. No need to trust or distrust. All what's there is I need to be strong enough to take the blow when the trust is broken or be worthy enough to receive the grace of a trust that is well reserved.

@powerfulpetehardcastle 5 месяцев назад

I'm like this girl and I truly don't know what to do besides go full monk mode and re-surrender myself to Christ.

@SomeBody-ce3gq 5 месяцев назад

What worked for me is hang out with people that have a good, kind, calm energy. As I hung out with them more I became less and less tolerant of other people's bs.

@eevee2411 5 месяцев назад

Therapy. Usually there's stuff underneath that you need to process/work on that you don't even realise is getting in the way.

@powerfulpetehardcastle 5 месяцев назад

@@SomeBody-ce3gq I've done this and I'm putting a lot of effort into developing closer relationships with people at church. It's helping for sure.

@powerfulpetehardcastle 5 месяцев назад

@@eevee2411 There's a lot... too much to get into here. I think I'm going to explore this option.

@SomeBody-ce3gq 5 месяцев назад

@@powerfulpetehardcastle Yay! I'm so glad to hear that! 😄

@djcoolrule 5 месяцев назад

She's only 24 and hasn't left the nest. She will be fine and thrive in society. She definitely has a goals straight on a career and didn't allow relationships to divert her from what she wants. I can imagine that her relationships will fall into place once she lands doing the job she's worked so hard for. God bless young lady!!

@rz8753 5 месяцев назад

I feel like she may have a hard time breaking those habits and you have to get uncomfortable and she is not one from what is sounds like , To get uncomfortable

@mikasasukasa4479 2 месяца назад

i think youre way off the mark here. shes 24 and shes already this bad, its the end for her unless she seeks professional help. shes not a lost cause and her first step was calling in. i just dont like the idea of your delusional take on this matter, its dangerous.

@Ozymandi_as Месяц назад

You can be dedicated, hard working and goal-oriented, and have healthy, supportive and rewarding relationships at the same time. This caller has been brought up in a very dysfunctional environment, and in order to protect herself, it seems to me that she has developed an avoidant attachment style. That is an habitual behavioural problem, and she is going to have to do some work to change those habits, Frankly, she's done pretty well to notice it at the age of 24, because lots of people take much longer to notice that their relationships tend to follow a familiar and unsatisfactory trajectory, if indeed they notice at all. Telling her not to worry, and that everything will be fine, may be perfectly well intended, but I don't know that she would be particularly reassured. That might be the sort of thing her family would say, for example, and leave her feeling unheard. She's highly intelligent, and she will know if she is not being taken seriously. Just my opinion of course 🙂

@toscadonna 5 месяцев назад

If you grow up in a crazy family, you attract crazy people the rest of your life. It is what it is, and these days there are way more crazy people to meet than good ones. If you didn’t do anything wrong, the failed relationships aren’t your fault. Untrustworthy people will hurt you, then others will blame you for “trust issues.”

@Vpa2870 5 месяцев назад

yup

@tp6299 5 месяцев назад

❤yes

@yuvalgal-shahaf2782 5 месяцев назад

Very common among survivors of childhood abuse

@SnowLeopardForever 5 месяцев назад

Yes! My family was/is toxic and dysfunctional. That turned me into a people pleaser. People pleasers attract unhealthy people without knowing it because we are nice to everyone, even when people obviously don’t have our best interests are heart because we don’t want to be mean to them by rejecting them. What changed me? I had a literal crazy person become obsessed with me because I didn’t know how to be mean to him to get him to go away. Finally, one day after he tried to sit next to me and talk to me on the bus, after he waited for me after work and followed me onto the bus, I was so freaked out I got the courage up to yell at him to go away in a mean voice. After that he left me alone. As I got healthier emotionally and mentally, I learned to have boundaries and not let people trample all over mine, and started attracting healthy people to me.

@rz8753 5 месяцев назад

But their is a sense of satisfaction that as you get older you can choose who you want in your life and the people pleasing gets old . Yes dysfunction may have been her normal But it’s up to her to turn that around , you actively can choose who you want in your life .

@TuBui2 5 месяцев назад

She has a sweet voice but I knew something was off in the first few minutes and glad Dr. D called her on it. Issue with ALL relationships? Even the "platonic" ones (i.e. the ones where there's no real emotional bond to begin with)? Her ENTIRE family is emotionally manipulative? Every single one? EVERY friendship has been not just 'meh' or uninspiring but, in her own words, a "disaster"? Talk about hitting the statistical lottery. Miss, you attract what you are.

@aladdout9454 5 месяцев назад

I believe her about the family part. It's not that all of them can be abusive it's more like the ones with more power being abusive and others not doing anything to step in or correct the abusive ones, hence enabling them. And if you start tolerating that a lot, you also start mirroring them. If anything, her mistakes in relationships and friendships could be due to this shitty family.

@Portia620 5 месяцев назад

You should be a shrink! A con man I married so your saying that’s what I am? 😱. I guess people that get into cults are at fault and the same as the leaders too? Flawed logic and no doubt she has some very bad influences and she needs to heal from that and things will get better

@TuBui2 5 месяцев назад

@@Portia620 absolutely, on a one-off instance like your ex-husband (i assume), that's on them. I'd expect you to learn/grow from that experience to choose better mates. But if you were to tell me you were previously married to 4 people, ALL whom were toxic, I'd have to start questioning the integrity of your judgement skills and why you're attracting this type of person. But moreover, we're not even talking about deep relationships for this caller. We're talking about EVERY relationship from the meaningful to the platonic (her words not mine).

@Chef.91 5 месяцев назад

Not true. You don’t always attract what you are. Good people tend to attract shitty people. Empath Narcissist dynamic. I’m right with her, At this point I’m done with people too. The common denominator is that people want to use her, not love her. And those same people will turn around and be completely normal and loving towards the worst people.

@BeanMacdui 5 месяцев назад

I agree with the others here. I honestly can’t stand this whole idea ‘you attract what you’re putting out there’ thing. Like the one commenter said, there are plenty of loving kind people who have had bad things happen to them. I think putting love out there and being a caring person actually attracts crappy people who want to take advantage of you. So for me, it’s more about learning healthy boundaries and learning to be aware of my inner voice and intuition so that I can protect my energy in a healthy manner. I was in a similar place where my relationship with my nuclear family was toxic but I didn’t realize it and I grew up trying to win the love of my mom and sister and I felt discomfort around my dad and two brothers. And whatever those dynamics were from childhood, I brought them with in my adulthood. I kept thinking that I was screwed up and that I was unlovable because I struggled socially and in relationships. Until I started counseling and the journey of working through the unconscious dynamics going on. You can’t control other people but you can control your boundaries and to what extent you allow people to get close to you. My life is so much more livable and fulfilling now. It takes ongoing commitment and dedication. Life will never be perfect, for me the goal is to have a fulfilling life and contentment. And I am building that for myself and I have healthier loving relationships as a result.

@LadyBee4433 5 месяцев назад

I realized today that my beliefs around myself and relationships is what is keeping me from a healthy relationship. But not anymore since I became aware of that part of myself and have begun the healing process. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@rz8753 5 месяцев назад

Exactly this there has to be some accountability on the person and really sit back and think why are ALL my relationships ending terrible most people don’t want to hear their flaws .if you can’t learn to listen how are you ever going to grow and acknowledge not So great behaviors. We are very much accountable for who we allow In our lives , why and how long . It’s not just oh I’m coming with trauma . I get that , it’s important it’s valid but you have to really work On yourself to see changes .. it’s hard . Proud of you ❤

@calmingbabysleep1256 5 месяцев назад

Im 30. Same thing. Better to listen to Dr John now rather than 6 years from now. Or 10 years from now.

@xx9323 4 месяца назад

It will be better❤

@hautepinkrae8084 5 месяцев назад

Wow, some of the comments regarding the young lady are so cut and dried and negative. It’s not a cut and dried situation. It’s a life in trouble needing support and learning. I don’t quite understand all the psychology but I know she is trying to find some answers to apply to her life. Trust is scary but good on her to try to be safe with it. 💕

@lb1798 4 месяца назад

I 100% agree ...it is NOT CUT AND DRY. Some people are giving but don't realize that some people are manipulators AND TAKERS. THEY see giving, kind-hearted people coming. The giving kind hearted people HAVE TO LOVE THEMSELVES ENOUGH to NOT GIVE SO MUCH!!

@lb1798 4 месяца назад

You cant outsource your life to other people.

@lb1798 4 месяца назад

14:33 You wake up every day and outsource how you feel....to OTHER PEOPLE 16:34 It's not anyone else's job to regulate YOUR EMOTIONS.

@Mmmmkaaay 5 месяцев назад

It's interesting that she says she doesn't like people, yet she's crafted her entire life around helping others.

@ashleyhess6461 5 месяцев назад

Thats short for she cares about people but struggles with connecting with people. Plenty of people really care to help others on a deeper level. They just don't like the relationships that manipulate them or hurt them.

@Mmmmkaaay 5 месяцев назад

@@ashleyhess6461 That's why boundaries are necessary. Too many folks out there are letting others steamroll them. I used to be a doormat. No more!

@amyitis 2 месяца назад

Have you met any INFJ's? A strong dislike for humanity but always helping them

@Mmmmkaaay 2 месяца назад

@@amyitis I am an INFJ. But, I find it arrogant when some folks say they "hate people". Nobody is perfect. We are all flawed. The more we get in touch with our true nature, the more we are able to extend love to others, because we know that what we hate in others, is what we don't accept in ourselves.

@Pickle2222 26 дней назад

@@amyitis i am an INTJ and studying clinical counseling. I have one close-ish friend because I do hate getting personably close to others due to the possibility of volitility 🐦

@Vpa2870 5 месяцев назад

I think the caller it very self aware, she needs to move out and start her own life. She sounds like she has CPTSD and needs help. She can't build a healthy life living in a toxic environment, all her relationships will fail because she doesn't know how to live yet.

@camm5245 5 месяцев назад

Finally someone mentioned CPTSD and not BPD. Similar, but she definitely seems to fit more more into the CPTSD category to me as well. I feel bad for her, but it seems like she's in the beginning stages of healing. Like she's finally realized something is wrong. Hopefully she continues to dig deeper.

@texasdazzlers 5 месяцев назад

I had a friend who could have made this call. She came from a disaster of a family, had a lot of emotional and physical insecurities, and latched onto every relationship with a death grip until she ultimately destroyed them all. Everyone I knew really tried to be patient and help her handle her emotions in a healthier way, but she lacked self-perception, so she continued latching and raging until she burned almost every bridge behind her. It’s not up to me to diagnose anyone, but when I learned about Borderline Personality Disorder, she immediately came to my mind. I bet if you talked to this girl’s failed relationships, they would probably add a lot of insight - we tried to love her, but she drove us all away.

@kristicalz 5 месяцев назад

Yes 100%!

@chilloften 5 месяцев назад

And that’s CPTSD and she can heal it.

@handsomebarber424 5 месяцев назад

Yes!

@Portia620 5 месяцев назад

Trauma and no secure attachments. WOW sounds line my ex. But he was distant but super all over me in beginning!

@Portia620 5 месяцев назад

More like possible narracistic personality disorder and who she latches on could end uo with CPTS or the reverse is possible too. Hard to say with this little bit of info.

@laurabarber6697 5 месяцев назад

Emotions ARE contagious!! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 Pay attention to who you have around you!💝

@TheKrispyfort 5 месяцев назад

"If busyness is your drug, then rest will feel like stress" Yep. Detoxing from constant Drama is a substance withdrawal process for your brain. There's absolutely physical restructuring going on in there. And, that takes time. Cravings happen. Enough of bioscience me. Now for philosophical me. Those of us who need to be constantly working on projects and being busy is because if we stop to rest then we make ourselves available as a target. There's a reason I was one of those kids that enjoyed being at school 😢

@ccyoutube8793 5 месяцев назад

I wish my addiction was “busyness” not shopping then getting broke 😫

@MiaStayingCreative 5 месяцев назад

“Why are you an electric fence to love?” 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

@angiedeans6410 5 месяцев назад

You get back in the world, what you put into it. I learnt at a you age if you follow who you are and not be what everyone else wants you to be. You will be happier and not all people will like who you turn out to be but it's your life and not their to choose who you should be. The hurt you experience over your life makes you are. And never accept less than what you deserve. My mum didn't always like the choices I made all the time but she knew that she had to let me learn and grow at my own speed and she was always was there when things turned upside down and I needed her. That was the way my mum loved us unconditionally.

@FreeSpirit47 5 месяцев назад

From a spiritual standpoint, many people cycle through relationships, not sleeping around, just relationships, have a lesson to learn from each person. Romantic relationships, friendships, coworkers, neighbors, etc. People come into our lives for many different reasons. Much of it is a karmic lesson. When a person allows themselves to learn & grow from relationships that are short or even long ones, it can be very enriching.

@JudePi-jx7yo 5 месяцев назад

It's always either choosing the wrong person or your behavior. Always. Once or twice can be bad luck too of course.

@kencurtis2403 5 месяцев назад

Bingo! Some people's "pickers" are off. I have multiple family members who are good at picking unsuitable people and have been through multiple marriages. There is nothing really wrong with the family members, just their judgement in who they pick. Many people choose partners based on physical attraction and ignore almost everything else (this is common in young people but usually they move past this). I found that as I matured, I looked more at character. Worked for me - I have been married to my dear husband (well, 99% of the time he is dear lol) for 36 years. I cringe now when I look at people I dated in high school:)

@ivankrushensky 5 месяцев назад

Well some people are attracted to the "bad boy", but want the security that a decent person provides. And the two things just don't go together. They are bored when dating a decent person- life isn't edgy enough, not enough turmoil and risky behavior to get them excited. So they find that bad boy. That person's life is in shambles and they can't provide a stable place to live....or a stable anything for that matter. So they get worn out from all the turmoil and go back to the decent person. Rinse and repeat- over and over again.

@DNA350ppm 5 месяцев назад

Many people interacting with an intimidatingly successful over-achiever never tells the truth, that they feel envy, scared, small, insecure, some even feel directly critized, just because the over-achiever obviously holds her(him)self to higher norms than the average person. So they would rather say something petty and demanding than a heartfelt compliment for an achievement. And the over-achiever thinks s/he has not done enough, tries even harder to reach perfection and get *everything* just right and to the highest level. Recognition and compliments and genuine thanks would do wonders, but the over-achiever lastly has to provide these her(him)self, because the one(s) they most want to impress and please, will for some reason never give them that, and admiration from others don't count. Tragic, isn't it?

@ivankrushensky 5 месяцев назад

The answer for her is to stop caring what others think and be herself. She has nothing to prove to anyone else besides herself. And as long as she's satisfied with that, than that's all that maters. This is hard for some people to do. But reality is- you are never going to satisfy everyone or anyone 100% of the time. The good news is- you don't have to.

@jennifersilves4195 5 месяцев назад

"I'm a police dispatcher." "I'm a lawyer." "I have trust issues." Absolutely checks out. Hugs caller. Very gentle side hugs.

@chickenfriedwaffles 5 месяцев назад

She’s in law school and works as a police dispatcher. It’s not that complicated to understand.

@amberadams2935 5 месяцев назад

Weird comment

@rz8753 5 месяцев назад

@@amberadams2935it’s just a way to say she’s doing too much , no one said to not be ambitious but you have to learn how to dial it down and take advise from people who have probably lived that way before . Very “ go,go, go “ mentality all frazzled and what not

@TheKrispyfort 5 месяцев назад

Respect is given. Trust is built on the foundation of accountability. Honours and Reputation - those are earned. It has taken nearly five decades to realise this. When it comes to being a parent to a child we only get that one childhood to succeed in.

@m.s9146 5 месяцев назад

She should take a mental wellness break. I know she wants to finish the race but I had a similar law school experience and decided to take the summer after graduation off, travel with my family and take the Bar exam in February of the next year. I passed my state’s Bar the first time even though I was nauseous and in first trimester of our second pregnancy (I had a toddler to contend with while in law school). Other friends, who pushed through and took their Bar, had trouble passing and ended up retaking the exam with me, I had the advantage of having rested. We graduated from Georgetown University Law School.

@TheKrispyfort 5 месяцев назад

17:25 "Wherever you go, there you are"

@Tarolyn17 5 месяцев назад

She seems like the person who is drawn to help people. And that may be what she is good at. But she for sure has to care for her emotional needs, has to have very solid emotional regulation practices. When I moved away from my fearful family, I really learned to be there for myself.

@Hope4Life26 5 месяцев назад

Honestly…after waking up tonight from yet another nightmare of arguing with my dad I now realize that this is trauma coming out. These past weeks have been INSANE and then watching the downfall of my family HURTS so bad because I can’t help them the way I want to. I can’t just yet until I get better enough to reach out. It feels wrong but it’s necessary and my family can be stubborn some of the time. This is a season of repairing myself internally and loving myself so I can love others properly. I have to take it one step at a time, and for this season, I have to let my Dad go so I can heal. I’ll still pray for him but I can’t hold onto the damage he’s done to our family.

@BeepFish7 5 месяцев назад

I'd be nervous that the moment she stops charging ahead through life at this insane pace, her body will experience heavy shutdown / burnout. She's been keeping many VERY heavy plates spinning for a long time.

@ashleyduckworthyt3224 5 месяцев назад

Someone who won’t trust anyone CANT find love. If she continues to put up her walls, her partners will feel that and will know that there isn’t any trust there and move on…

@crazycuttee 5 месяцев назад

Rest will feel like stress is real. The very few times I took a day off I couldn’t truly enjoy it and sleep was the only way I could! BPD is something that I’m beginning to feel that I have on top Major Depression and Severe Anxiety. Researching it thus far is making more sense but I’m afraid of the actual diagnosis to be true. Now that’s another thing added to the list of things I don’t want to be looked at as crazy, terrible, etc. Emotions are exhausting when you want to be accepted by society especially the ones you love most that you may feel don’t completely understand the inner workings of you! ❤

@joywebster2678 5 месяцев назад

See a Dr instead of self diagnosing and stressing yourself out.

@Pickle2222 26 дней назад

BPD remission rate is 10% in one year with BPD and 90% chance in 16 years with regular therapy so if you do have it it can be solved with talk therapy. I would not recommend self-diagnosing because it could be related to a mood disorder such as bipolar 2 which could be helped by meds but for BPD generally, the treatment is just talk therapy. Don't stress yourself out; there are a lot of compassionate people out there who will help and walk beside you as you continue a journey where you are trying to heal!!

@KatWest20 5 месяцев назад

Interestingly enough, I feel the same way. When I met my husband he took the time to gently break down my walls..... But now I have no tools to deal with friends who I have loved and who hurt me. I've come to realize that the more you allow people in the more opportunities there are to get hurt.

@xx9323 4 месяца назад

But yoy cant love without breaking the walls

@masaniazura2131 5 месяцев назад

She's trying to "fix" her own life via her career choice(s). If she lives at home, she's in prison...and that's what many prisoners do...study the ins and outs of law trying to make their life makes sense.

@saeedhossain6099 5 месяцев назад

The uncontrolled ID in this caller is strong, yes she's the problem. 2:42 cant use as "emotional anything". User is the correct assessment, pity she made the diagnosis just refuses to accept it.....

@51623allissa 4 месяца назад

You are a WISE man! WOW!!!

@sillycookie1982 3 месяца назад

Problems with interpersonal relationships and trust issues sounds like bpd. Especially with addition of family issues and friend problems

@msfishandchips7204 5 месяцев назад

I don't think the question is - wil you love me - am I enough? it's - will I love you, are you enough? She said she gets hurt and bends herself backwards so she knows she is enough and the other one hasnt been.

@sabgo352 5 месяцев назад

thanks internet dad! i feel the same way madison does and i needed this video!

@alwaysyouramanda 5 месяцев назад

She’s going to achieve her goals.. they might be mutually exclusive 😮😢 Thanks for your service, girlie pop. Omg omg omg you ROCK

@kl12345-u 3 месяца назад

She’s young smart & hardworking, that kinda family & parenting issue, almost many Asian kids gotta deal with… I chose to move out far away from home after college, just to learn to live & how to be me, didn’t know about setting boundaries until seeing a shrink for once in my life at 30… Now I finally established myself at 35, after many years of distancing & arguing, I’m at the inner peace to make the closure with my parents. So she’s got some inner work to do & just enjoy this journey called life

@tomnohmy1273 5 месяцев назад

Some callers get to me. I feel bad for her. There's been a few lately.

@saeedhossain6099 5 месяцев назад

the caller has presented a series of carefully curated series of "facts" that have so many holes in it that simply doesn't provide any information except to paint an immaculate victim. basically what I'm saying is if you believe her, you're believe a liar at best, a psychopath at worse.

@tomnohmy1273 5 месяцев назад

@@saeedhossain6099o

@tomnohmy1273 5 месяцев назад

@@saeedhossain6099u got that from that. Get a life and stop trolling comments deuchebag. I don't get u trolls. I guess because I don't troll

@catcat9582 5 месяцев назад

Everyone hates her for no reason

@chrissyellem7397 5 месяцев назад

I'm glad there are some people on here with empathy. Most people on this channel attack and blame the person calling in. Why bother calling in if there are no people who won't call you names and make you feel worse.

@Maria-jo6nn 5 месяцев назад

You are so busy!! How can you have time for relationships?

@miketheyunggod2534 5 месяцев назад

"Why does everything that happen to stupid people always happen to me."...Homer Simpson.

@FrankS111 5 месяцев назад

@joanarc7963you completely missed the point. Not sure if you did this out of ineptitude or done so knowingly

@carriefawcett9990 5 месяцев назад

A lot of mean comments here. This lady is YOUNG, and seeking help. I hope she's not reading these judgemental awful comments from all you perfect people. I'll bet none of you ever get haemorrhoids because you're such perfect a-holes.

@Portia620 5 месяцев назад

I was just told when I was took my shoes back at the shoe department. This young man said that I looked young and I should be younger guys. I told him my problem with dating nowadays and he said I should just use men for their money. everybody does it to get ahead and that I have too much integrity or too much whatever he said, which was very and I told him extremely sad and I’m losing hope! 🥺😞😭 he also told me marriage wasn’t important anymore. Lotta people why even get married and I have been married and my ex-husband left me. He was a complete and I’m ready to take the chance again with somebody with high morals, but not too many left. People have hurt me too and I felt this down to my soul! Yep we must drink water and wow it feels like we are drowning and my guy friend told me to be alone but it has not fixed anything. I healed but he’s right we are NOT made to move on this Earth alone!

@joywebster2678 5 месяцев назад

But many of us from dysfunctional families of origin find that we end up walking alone due to many reasons including death of spouses, and lack of singles to date. Family isn't supportive. So then it's up to us to find good friends, not easy. I often think of very dear ladies I knew as a child, often called War wifows, or ne remarried because their fiances died in WW1 and WW2. They weren't designed to be alone but really had no choice. So groups of them bonded together for weekly tea gathering and support, they did charity work together, and many " adopted" interest in the young grandchildren of the few married couples they new like my Grandparents. So I learned we can adapt, I've witnessed it, what we are lacking is the social cohesion of other singles as support groups.

@Already.Forgotten 5 месяцев назад

I blame myself for all my failed relationships. As much as I want to date again, I always fear that the same mistakes and poor decisions will repeat in my future relationships. Maybe it’s within God or the universe’s plan for me to be alone and miserable for the rest of my life.

@jh26pt2 5 месяцев назад

Nope, that would be what you are choosing. My unsolicited advice: look at those relationships like a scientist. What did you do wrong? What did you do right? Choose to accept the challenge of learning about yourself. That’s much more fulfilling than just throwing in the towel. You can do it.

@Mayfloweralways 5 месяцев назад

@@jh26pt2 that’s it exactly. So many people believe that they are at the mercy of “whoever might want them” and dealing with all the red flags that come with them. Don’t get me wrong. Learning self discipline is greatly important- not to lose your temper, how to actively listen, learning what insecurities you’re holding etc but the biggest thing most people could embrace is that just because they met someone who flirts and wants sex and place to have a warm meal- that doesn’t mean it’s a relationship they should welcome. You do the choosing. You have to believe you deserve someone that is in love with you. And you have to understand that such a person would be all smiles with you and looking for every way possible to brighten your life and can’t get enough of you,

@Messymy 5 месяцев назад

Being a lone doesn't mean you have to be miserable. Just Stop and smell the flowers along your way.

@BlackRaveBow 5 месяцев назад

If you think you’re the cause of your failed relationships, then you simply need to take steps to fix yourself.

@Portia620 5 месяцев назад

😢.

@51623allissa 4 месяца назад

"you outsource your love to other people". Wow! I do that! My gosh. Can you be my counselor?

@9liveslisa 5 месяцев назад

Boy oh boy, could I relate to the GPS analogy! I must look like a voodoo doll when it comes to not trusting. Good to know! lol!

@Charlotte1983xX 4 месяца назад

😂😂me too..think I'm 2 sewn up voodoo dolls to accommodate 1000s of GPS tags x

@ashleyhess6461 5 месяцев назад

As someone who was doing the same for years. That stress on the body and mind can most develop in the form of auto-Immune diseases like Rheumatoid Arthritis....You HAVE to balance your stress out or it will literally kill you.

@sarahloohoo2312 5 месяцев назад

Good luck passing that security clearance background check with burnt bridges at every corner… that background check is no joke.

@Portia620 5 месяцев назад

Truths and attorneys going into that area??? Character is important! I need to date one of them! I was just told that character is non existent with dating and that is my problem!!! Had no idea that was a PROBLEM!!! 🤦‍♀️😂

@handsomebarber424 5 месяцев назад

@@Portia620 therapists are even worse

@sarahloohoo2312 5 месяцев назад

@joanarc7963 With all due respect, you clearly have never been a part of a security clearance background check (required for any federal position). They very much so rely on your relationships and interview 30-50 people from your life including former neighbors, friends, partners (and ex’s), professors, peers, teachers, etc.. then they spider web out and ask those references for additional references. So yeah, relationships are a heavy consideration in security clearance background checks. They take nearly a year. Your personal life is very much their business when entering a classified position handling national security.

@alwaysyouramanda 5 месяцев назад

I picture it being to the gang’s benefit when a member finds family in the.. mission staff.

@MelancholyArmy 5 месяцев назад

@joanarc7963 for her to be an agent in the fbi they will do a security clearance. they will look into pretty much every aspect of someone's personal life and they will talk to her family member and friends to get an idea of the individuals character. It is an invasive but necessary process.

@hkhodges8487 5 месяцев назад

We can always tell when the caller is muted, perhaps not even there anymore, and he is just putting a ribbon on call. Complete shift in body language and tone of voice.

@JudePi-jx7yo 5 месяцев назад

Dave has the top of desk mute button. John does it below the desk or his staff know

@rz8753 5 месяцев назад

How else would he wrap up a call ?

@christinek6082 3 месяца назад

She hears him but she doesn't hear him. That knowing nervous laughter, very telling.

@Jazminksie 5 месяцев назад

She's bpd. She's needs people to help her emotionally regulate and thats why she said she can't depend on anyone around her emotionally. Thats why she feels her relationships always fall apart. She's not nuts. She's trying to help herself in every single way she can. By calling in, by overperforming, by being rational instead of emotional. She has poor boundaries and is a performer in hopes of society accepting her instead of being called nuts or crazy. She's dying for a friend and she's so lonely. She's not nuts. She's trying to find acceptance.

@catcat9582 5 месяцев назад

I agree

@karaa7595 5 месяцев назад

She's not bpd. She's too grounded.

@joywebster2678 5 месяцев назад

More cptsd who can have many regulation issues, but are more grounded, able to hold careers. But intolerant of the misbehavior of others, mixed with the desire to people please. Often poor personal boundaries due to the childhood trauma, so the friends, dates that are attracted are the " narcissistic" type, who switch from charming to abusive.

@Jazminksie 5 месяцев назад

@joywebster2678 🤣 oh, if only. Or like high functioning quiet bpd in someone's 20's. Cptsd is kindergarten class.

@ashleyhess6461 5 месяцев назад

Yeah I don't know why everyone saying BPD she just sounds insecure. She's trying to love herself through performing she learned not to love herself has a child

@Ciera_Banks 4 месяца назад

THIS IS ME!!! How do you enforce the boundaries if your parents just bulldoze over them? Mine are exactly like this but worse lol.

@oterosocram25 5 месяцев назад

Whoa, her upbringing, background and her job 🤪

@genznancy 5 месяцев назад

She sounds like what I struggled with, I think it’s a boundary issue

@kristencobb230 5 месяцев назад

She needs her own place and space to figure out who she is and how to navigate her adult relationships.

@lizwiens671 5 месяцев назад

Sounds like she’s the common denominator in all her disastrous relationships.

@schmumlauf 5 месяцев назад

"I have met with people who do human trafficking" is such an unfortunately worded sentence

@countcoupblessings979 5 месяцев назад

Care through fear- There is some racoon cartoon short , that depicts an example of this so well , I cried so hard seeing it. I'd say it's not for kids.

@sw6155 5 месяцев назад

My mom refuses to acknowledge her Asperger’s… Somehow, for some exoteric reason she can’t fathom people are mean to her and there’s always drama around her… But yeah, she ain’t it… Right… 🙄 Worse of all, as a single child, when she’s overwhelmed, I pay for it… I’m her outlet… And now that I have kids her outlet is accusing me of being a neglectful mom because I don’t leave work to go to a kid party at my kids school or I couldn’t find a dentist appointment sooner than later… I swear to God, one of these days she’ll snap and call CPS on me for absofreakinglutely nothing… 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

@michelejohnson6459 5 месяцев назад

And you have contact with her why?🤔

@camm5245 5 месяцев назад

@Molecule7 that's in part because Aspergers isn't a diagnosis that's given anymore. It's all under ASD. It's also very underdiagnosed in women, which makes it seem rarer than it really is.

@handsomebarber424 5 месяцев назад

She could also be a narcissist

@angelicadelashmette803 5 месяцев назад

Why do you still have a relationship with this person or zero boundaries? Why do you allow yourself to be spoken to that way? That’s verbal abuse. You can choose to not put up with it.

@handsomebarber424 5 месяцев назад

@@angelicadelashmette803trauma response and trauma bonding

@roamingfree6968 5 месяцев назад

I needed to hear this. Thank you. 🙏

@fallon7616 5 месяцев назад

Please don't judge this Woman. She is clearly a Borderline and her emotions are disregulated. Very traumatic and sad 😢😢

@DawgMama 4 месяца назад

I actually don't think so. I think she will be just fine once she moves out. Not all trauma victims have bpd.

@rarebird_82 5 месяцев назад

"You don't need another half to be whole" - I tell my friends to quell their short term loneliness between marriages, while ignoring and slowly sinking in my own year long empty chasm. Newly single at 40 is just a desert frankly, unless you're desperate and lower your standards, which I'd never do. My life is working, child rearing and co-parenting, so I have zero in my life that is just for me.

@ashen8046 5 месяцев назад

12:00 - bookmarked.

@Margatatials 5 месяцев назад

It sounds like her picker may be off.

@saeedhossain6099 5 месяцев назад

not her picker, her, just her.

@catcat9582 5 месяцев назад

She's been abused. Ofc it's off. She probaly has cptsd and it manifests like bpd.

@Chet_24 5 месяцев назад

I just assume im always being lied to, and that as soon as i leave, im having death wished on me. I've yet to be disappointed by anyone after following this thought path.

@ashleyduckworthyt3224 5 месяцев назад

I hate to say it BUT you’re picking people that will fulfill your own prophecy. It’s a coping mechanism from trauma. ❤ My sister and I did this for years bc our dad was a terrible example of a husband/good man and the moment we stopped believing the worst about people and ourselves was the moment we realized WE were responsible for who we let in our lives. I PROMISE that you are worth being in a healthy relationship. Don’t let anyone into your life who crosses your boundaries or doesn’t mesh with your deep rooted morals and if you do, kick em to the curb. You can find someone. Open your heart to the good ones bc they can’t prove they’re trustworthy until you actually trust them. ❤❤❤

@laurabarber6697 5 месяцев назад

We can't chage our past with new people in our lives now. Thats coming from a Fix The Problem orientation. You are focused on what you DON'T want. Instead decide how you want to be ans BE that new identity. ❤🎉

@mikasasukasa4479 2 месяца назад

Man shes at this level at the age of 24 but if she keeps taking steps like this first big one like calling in things will surely look up. im worried for this girl because i see her on the road of being completely alone. she aint a lost cause thats for sure, shes smart and very self aware.

@Vg41136 5 месяцев назад

I love my familly from afar i move to the usa at 16 i give them money i send what they need but they get no say in my life since i know they disapprove of my line of work my extended familly are law emforcement but i conect whit them fine but my mom and brothers no 1 sister is the only one who understands me she is though is nails she is amazing wonder full soldier i love her

@mzblu-cj9fd 5 месяцев назад

Totally feel this, but I'm 30 years older than the caller. Completely alone and wanting human relationships, while simultaneously hating the human race because it's horrible. It's a Phantom of the Opera complex thing, I guess. 🤷‍♀️

@laurabarber6697 5 месяцев назад

🔥Anger turned INWARD becomes depression!😵‍💫

@bruin4Christ 5 месяцев назад

Have you forgiven those who’ve hurt you? That’ll always be step 1

@wonka4 2 месяца назад

I've listen to maybe 40 of these, or 50, and this one is the first one that hits home. And im a dude.

@casualonemmo-player2167 5 месяцев назад

Def some diagnosis going on

@diggernash1 5 месяцев назад

She sees everyone as an enemy and is living that out. Lawyer mindset...enjoy loneliness that you supposedly don't want. Unlike myself, who continually attracts people when I just want to be alone. Telling everyone to not be alone is not good advice. I like being alone, but listened to that advice. Got married twice, had two kids, and three grandkids. They seek out interaction with me and I dislike it intensely. It wasn't fair to them for me to enter into relationships. I don't want to put effort into time with anyone else, so it leaves them hurt.

@jeretso 5 месяцев назад

She is graduating in May and has no friends. Its hard to make friends your own age when there are sugar daddies spoiling you. Avoid sugar daddies. Concentrate on work or go back to school. Hang out with your peers especially ones who do not have any money. Live simple life. DO not be high maintenance.

@Kate-b5j 5 месяцев назад

Every relationship?..... Borderline.

@mmmmlllljohn 5 месяцев назад

Is that your professional opinion? lol!

@mamabear1260 2 месяца назад

I have been waiting for a man to take me fishing for 20 yrs...what am I supposed to do in the meantime? I'm tired of waiting.

@TheKrispyfort 5 месяцев назад

The dispatch job isn't as impressive on your applications as you would think it is. People are going to want to hear about the gore, just for their amusement. Suggestion - never share those stories, lest you risk the Gore Story Girl being your social circle role. That's from observing someone special to me getting this look in his eyes when people asked if he'd X'd anyone during his army days 😢

@alyssag7955 5 месяцев назад

John this is for me 😣

@BelieveAndLive668 4 месяца назад

It's so hard for people to understand that their parents dont get a vote

@stevengtv 5 месяцев назад

She is a basket of red flags

@megandunning1558 5 месяцев назад

What happened with the guy calling in abouy his wife’s only fans and dr D said give me her name Ill look it up to see what she is actually doing and he hung up

@flashthecorgi2053 5 месяцев назад

Nobody knows except that Dr. John publicaly apologized on Ig , took ownership, and out of respect for the guy and his family took the video down.

@TheBourbon88 5 месяцев назад

Bunny Killer... I can tell by her voice. There's also a lot of omission in what she shared.

@maam-yj8ph 5 месяцев назад

It's bunny boiler, not bunny killer.

@jessicadominguez1315 5 месяцев назад

Interesting term, 'bunny killer' I have never heard it before. What does that mean?

@Jinnyfir 5 месяцев назад

@@jessicadominguez1315 It's named after a plot point in the movie Fatal Attraction. Ex girlfriend boils the pet rabbit of her ex boyfriend's current lover out of jealousy.

@TheBourbon88 5 месяцев назад

@@maam-yj8ph uhhh no it's not. It's bunny killer. That's the way I've said it my whole life and you're not changing my mind.

@TheBourbon88 5 месяцев назад

@@jessicadominguez1315 The movie Fatal Attraction

@1castellp 5 месяцев назад

I'm ugly on the inside and outside, so my relationships never get the chance to start. Everyone I ask out says no. That's where my story ends. Must be nice to crash and burn (Forced smile)

@graysongriese 5 месяцев назад

3 mins in and this lady is nuts

@ryanhemesath6686 5 месяцев назад

1 minute in actually

@graysongriese 5 месяцев назад

Lol true, trying to be nice

@lizwiens671 5 месяцев назад

Friendships end up in court? Borderline personality…

@BecomingSarah 5 месяцев назад

She needs help and she is getting help. Stop the meanness on the internet.

@ashleyhess6461 5 месяцев назад

This isn't Hollywood. Thats what ignorant a**holes say. Why don't you grow a pair and read a book on REAL mental health problems which 1 out 6 adults have. Get off your high horse.

@lookatovr18 5 месяцев назад

I love her

@boogerbrains138 5 месяцев назад

I don't know why my relationships crash and burn either. All the guys i date end up staying with their wives for some reason

@candice5186 5 месяцев назад

😂😂😂😂😂😂

@akhilmahajan9759 3 месяца назад

What's her body count because it effect your future relationships and form intimate pair bond with your partner.. Even girl in video since she never dated and didn't have anyone emotionally in her life she probably sleeping around which now Negativitaly effect her to form relationship.. To feel love.. Because after enough connections you lose your soul and stop feel loved

@theworkingmanpodcast 5 месяцев назад

She immediately blames everyone else for her relationship failures across the board😂! She’s also not telling the whole truth about that old man. She’s probably toxic…

@supernotnatural 5 месяцев назад

She sayis "What is wrong with me?" and she wants to know how to fix it. Thatsnot toxic person. Clearly you are but you are reflecting yourself on her. “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ― Bob Marley

@theworkingmanpodcast 5 месяцев назад

@@supernotnatural well I’m definitely not reflecting myself because I have healthy friendships and a relationship😂! And yes she did ask what’s wrong with me AFTER John told her she’s the common denominator😂. Now what…

@cyrenedomogalla5127 5 месяцев назад

@@theworkingmanpodcast she called in. That in itself is "help me understand". She's hurting on the inside. I've met a woman like her. That woman too was battling emotional wounds. Your comment jumps to judgement over empathy and that's very frustrating.

@theworkingmanpodcast 5 месяцев назад

@@cyrenedomogalla5127 good…

@amberadams2935 5 месяцев назад

Why r all these comments so crappy today?

@handsomebarber424 5 месяцев назад

The cynical people pick the most cynical careers it never fails

@turquoiseturtle7664 5 месяцев назад

Only watched first bit of this so far, so my comment is only based on this. Maybe she shouldn’t worry about relationships just yet as her brain is not fully developed as not yet past age of 25. Also, just from listening to beginning, her family may have damaged her brain, so good idea to start fixing it for herself.

@tanisabenulic2861 5 месяцев назад

Why is there The sign of the horns on the shelf? I don' understand.

@Hippie459MN 5 месяцев назад

He's a big metal head. 🤘😎🤘

@tanisabenulic2861 5 месяцев назад

@@Hippie459MN Oh, now I understand, he is such an amazing person

@flashthecorgi2053 5 месяцев назад

@@tanisabenulic2861Yes, he IS an amazing guy. It’s just the rock on symbol. John is a guitarist!

@tiffanys6868 3 месяца назад

When he talks about his parents not getting a vote,that really confuses me. Their his parents, he praised them and they want the best for him. Why do they not get a vote? Also, who gets a "vote"? Generally , in your life who gets a say aka vote?

@Elle44289 5 месяцев назад

She sounds avoidant attachment

@rz8753 5 месяцев назад

I think she is one of those people that are overachieving/ that’s how she copes and doesn’t know how to think for herself therefore she builds a wall but then wonders why she’s not making connections. She just needs to stop worrying about what others think and love life for her . And be a bit of a risk taker not so rigid and scheduled