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Why don’t men give closure? 

Tony Gaskins
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Thank you for watching! My videos focus on life, love, and business. I believe in living a balanced and full life. I answer questions from my viewers in the “Talks with Tony” series. Then on Fridays, I speak to the men in the “Man 2 Man” series. On Saturdays, I focus on business and entrepreneurial lessons in the “Small Business Saturdays” series. Then on Sundays, you can catch a motivational message in the “Sunday Sermon” series.
Resources:
For online courses in the areas of life, love, and business, and a group mastermind experience visit: tonygaskinsacademy.com
If you’d like to work with a Coach, Consultant, or Mentor, visit: mymentor.life
If you’re in a relationship and would like to find out your Relationship Credit Score, visit: relationshipcredit.com
To have your question answered anonymously on the “Talks with Tony” series, email me: inbox@tonygaskins.com
For bookings, collaborations, interviews, etc, email: booktony@tonygaskins.com
#tonygaskins #relationshipadvice #datingadvice #marraigeadvice #motivation #lifecoaching #mentorship

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28 июн 2021

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Комментарии : 727   
@KrystleLaughter
@KrystleLaughter 3 года назад
You have stop giving a man a revolving door to your life. Stop wanting someone who doesn’t want you. Ugly cry, scream into a pillow, but don’t ever take him back. He will waste your whole life.
@nattywho
@nattywho 3 года назад
Exactly!
@winblessed1357
@winblessed1357 3 года назад
Word
@mayasheartdesiire
@mayasheartdesiire 3 года назад
Exactly! Shut the door…he’s not welcome here any more
@ThisizKena
@ThisizKena 3 года назад
A WHOLE word Queen!!!
@kailynae2271
@kailynae2271 3 года назад
Where I’m currently at in my life ♥️.. closing the door 🖕🏽✌🏽
@lilpinkbubbles6592
@lilpinkbubbles6592 3 года назад
The sad thing is a man will lie and tell you that you are the one, (the only one) while looking for someone else.
@mmxw2294
@mmxw2294 3 года назад
25/8 with a straight face
@socialdistancingon8333
@socialdistancingon8333 3 года назад
Been there, experienced that, multiple times. Done with the cognitive dissonance it creates after a while, going through that repeated pattern.
@lisaariottiart
@lisaariottiart 3 года назад
@@socialdistancingon8333 heartbreaking till you listen to your gut and run🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️
@mileyroe4877
@mileyroe4877 3 года назад
@@lisaariottiart yep, that gut never lies. We know from the very beginning most times.
@Dr.Elaine1
@Dr.Elaine1 3 года назад
Are his actions lies as well?
@ShesGottaFastCar
@ShesGottaFastCar 3 года назад
It takes emotional intelligence to give proper closure. A lot of people don’t have emotional intelligence.
@reaneeb4356
@reaneeb4356 3 года назад
Oh say it for the people in the back!
@yourstruly1984
@yourstruly1984 3 года назад
💯
@vernita0216
@vernita0216 3 года назад
ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.
@TiffanyBTV
@TiffanyBTV 3 года назад
Preachhhh
@gailmgreenlee7039
@gailmgreenlee7039 3 года назад
Thank you!!!
@beefaye6861
@beefaye6861 3 года назад
AGAIN....NEVER LET A MAN TELL YOU TWICE HE DON'T WANT YOU...!!!
@QuitaGee617
@QuitaGee617 3 года назад
🗣🗣🗣
@valeriecopeland9968
@valeriecopeland9968 3 года назад
PREACH SISTA💯💯💯💯💯
@kelleybright3113
@kelleybright3113 3 года назад
Mic drop
@Meishababe
@Meishababe 3 года назад
& more than likely they’ll tell you with their actions.
@dorismyers5779
@dorismyers5779 3 года назад
💯
@je39981
@je39981 3 года назад
What my Mom always taught me is leave a man before he leaves you. That statement is not out of toxicity but she explained when you began to feel that this guy is inconsistent, a player, and isn't up to no good then it's best to walk away. Never be the one left lingering behind a man now you can't sleep nor eat because he kicked you to the curb because you ignored the red flags. My closure is the disrespect towards me and me not willing to stick around and put up with it. Simple.
@reaneeb4356
@reaneeb4356 3 года назад
Good one to remember: My closure is the disrespect - end of story!
@yourstruly1984
@yourstruly1984 3 года назад
💯💯
@MsDawn2dusk
@MsDawn2dusk 3 года назад
The Gospel
@jennifergardner8381
@jennifergardner8381 3 года назад
Set your own standards and seek therapy; heal and know yourself! You’re enough. Trust your emotions & wisdom to know when to leave so you can continue to trust when the right one comes along !
@differentyetsame
@differentyetsame 3 года назад
🙏🏾💪🏾
@brittanymoore528
@brittanymoore528 3 года назад
It’s hard to even want to date after you come to the realization of the nature of most men.
@Mindful.Movement.01
@Mindful.Movement.01 3 года назад
💯
@thepurplequeen256
@thepurplequeen256 3 года назад
Exactly 💯
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
Bingo..I rather be alone then to have my emotions toyed with by some of these deceptive cons.
@adixon4824
@adixon4824 3 года назад
Truly, the majority are emotionally immature, pathetic and draining deal with. After my last disaster and meeting a new guy months after, I'm just waiting for the new one to fucc up. If can't find a way to stop attracting the same type of jerk dudes, I'm done dating for the foreseeable future. I'm over this shyt.
@toriyt2714
@toriyt2714 3 года назад
You’ll be fine just keep your legs closed and eyes open. We only get frustrated when we don’t trust ourselves to be able to discern. Get the knowledge that grows confidence and you’ll be good.
@MissMeMe343
@MissMeMe343 3 года назад
This has happened to me before. He tried to come back a whole year later. Now I have a no contact/no friendship rule for exes. Forget you knew me.
@Synquette
@Synquette 3 года назад
Forget you knew me 😂😂😂I love it!
@lovelifelaugh2727
@lovelifelaugh2727 3 года назад
All my ex’s live in texas mentality is my favorite
@Mindful.Movement.01
@Mindful.Movement.01 3 года назад
Exactly Mia. I will never understand people who “keep in touch” or “stay friends” with an ex or a past lover
@tk567
@tk567 3 года назад
They always use the friendship card.
@tk567
@tk567 3 года назад
@@Mindful.Movement.01 my ex wanted to be friends. I declined. He will always turn normal convo into a sexual one. EW!!!!
@CarmenLifeCoach
@CarmenLifeCoach 3 года назад
A lot of times men like to leave the door open so that they can come back later and some even have the audacity to tell this to your face. Please don't be an option, don't be a second choice, don't be a back-up plan, don't waste your precious feelings and years waiting and hoping he will come back. The man who will cherish you and make you happy is the one who found you and knew he didn't need to look any further, knew he met a special one. Don't ever settle for anyone who thinks you're ordinary.
@beefaye6861
@beefaye6861 3 года назад
Yassssssss!!!! You didn't want me then....you don't want me now !
@reaneeb4356
@reaneeb4356 3 года назад
No Ordinary People.
@beefaye6861
@beefaye6861 3 года назад
@Joyful n Blessed Right....bye bastard 😂
@dublingirl1691
@dublingirl1691 3 года назад
💯👍🏼 Thank you Carmen for your great advice. Very true.
@tk567
@tk567 3 года назад
Right. They always comeback after weeks/months and act like nothing happened. This guy I was dating will call me once every week or two. I blocked him and moved on with my life. He came back and begged for a second chance but I never forgot how he left. Told him that I’m not interested in him and he is the now the past and blocked him again.
@linrey3397
@linrey3397 3 года назад
When a man ghosts a woman, it's bc he could care less about you as a person or hurting you. These men don't see women as a person but an object.
@Authenticleatrice
@Authenticleatrice 3 года назад
Men don’t give closure because they want to come in and out of your life as they please. Ladies someone who behaves like this doesn’t deserve you. Move on, don’t look back and make sure to use that Block button. Your time is precious, don’t waste it on an indecisive man. 💁🏽‍♀️
@tk567
@tk567 3 года назад
Exactly. They want to have you as a backup and hit you up when they’re lonely and horny. That’s why I block and delete them.
@PlayshotKalo
@PlayshotKalo 3 года назад
What I learned is men always come back. Every one of them. Not because they love you but because they want you to fill a need of theirs. It doesn’t matter how clear you were when you didn’t want him anymore, he’s coming back.
@munix9351
@munix9351 3 года назад
@@PlayshotKalo on Mary and her niece😂😂😂😂😂
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
@@munix9351 “not her niece” I hollered 🤣🤣🤣
@breonnaw7708
@breonnaw7708 3 года назад
Exactly! Amen🙏🏽
@MB-xv7er
@MB-xv7er 2 года назад
Men who don’t give closure want to leave the door open. I have had closure from men because those men have zero intention of coming back. In my experience, the men who refuse to give closure have ALWAYS came back…. ALWAYS. If he isn’t giving you closure, he wants to keep that option open just in case his next woman happens to not be his ideal. He can come “back home” to something familiar and what’s worse? Sometimes they will still come back even WHEN they found the woman they want to wife…. It’s horrible god awful. That closure refusal is to keep you around when he needs you… it’s sickening.
@tarahbruno3793
@tarahbruno3793 3 года назад
In a perfect world men would give the closure speech, but I don’t even think they could express themselves that well, but men also pick wrong and end up with women they realize they don’t really want. That’s why prayer and discernment are crucial.
@wandamajette5000
@wandamajette5000 3 года назад
Gurl, Our prayer should always be LORD even though this man is telling me who he is, I need YOU LORD to show me who he is. I think a lot of these women are on their back therefore they may not be praying about the relationship.
@tarahbruno3793
@tarahbruno3793 3 года назад
@@wandamajette5000 agreed! I always say if he ain’t it Lord take him away.
@durbansaladyinaccra2173
@durbansaladyinaccra2173 3 года назад
Right, but emotional intelligence is a thing to be learnt likewise learning to express yourself properly, so men shouldn't expect women to put up with disadvantages to accommodate their unwillingness to "do the work" and be accountable. They know how to act right when they feel they have met their wife and Tony has said that too.
@durbansaladyinaccra2173
@durbansaladyinaccra2173 3 года назад
@@tricks2564 Wow...the earring was still clamped when it fell off? If that wasn't a sign then I dont know what was.
@durbansaladyinaccra2173
@durbansaladyinaccra2173 3 года назад
@@tricks2564 I'm glad you did cos not only women use witchcraft. He could have done something to them to make you forever attached to him so that he always has the freedom to step in and out of your life as he pleases.
@AndreaNicoleWatson
@AndreaNicoleWatson 3 года назад
Lol if men gave closure then they couldn’t come back
@TARLEASE02
@TARLEASE02 3 года назад
Girl you ain't said Nothing but a whole word!!!
@JC-gq2lo
@JC-gq2lo 3 года назад
You deserve a plaque
@pynki08
@pynki08 3 года назад
FACTS!!
@beefaye6861
@beefaye6861 3 года назад
Right....once you gone....thats my closure.....!!!
@brandyheartqueen9326
@brandyheartqueen9326 3 года назад
Yes the reason they keep the door open to come back
@jackiesinaa
@jackiesinaa 3 года назад
There’s really no such thing as closure from somebody else. The only closure you need is understanding you deserve better. I’ve always felt like closure is something internal.
@mariacernov9172
@mariacernov9172 3 года назад
Yes, it really is! Agree with you 100%!❤
@mwashington6
@mwashington6 3 года назад
Hmm didn’t think about that
@ieshjust16
@ieshjust16 3 года назад
💯
@Mindful.Movement.01
@Mindful.Movement.01 3 года назад
Not when people sought you out and you thought enough of them to even let them in your space which is a privilege so in my opinion, especially as a person who stay in her lane and mind her business , closure is always owed and is my birth right especially when you came over this way when I didn’t send for you. Not having closure is another way for men to not be held accountable
@tanyatanya9492
@tanyatanya9492 2 года назад
@@Mindful.Movement.01 His not giiving you closure is a closure in itself-you were dealing with an immature,disrespectful guy
@Denise_Cocoa
@Denise_Cocoa 3 года назад
I just had a man ghost me last month “cuz he was going through something” then try to come back the other day🙄. Like sir, I haven’t changed since then so whatever you didn’t like about me before, is still there and you still won’t like it. Don’t waste your time or mine. I’m done trying to rationalize “why” people do the things they do because like Tony said, if a man wants you, you will not be confused.
@fpitts8025
@fpitts8025 3 года назад
Gonna use this😄😄😄
@S129
@S129 3 года назад
😄
@smitchell8788
@smitchell8788 3 года назад
I’ve been told by several married men (family & friends) they didn’t marry the woman they love because they allowed her to get away. Many married men have settled for the woman who was available in the moment or she’s pregnant. Don’t look for closure, move on. Karma is closure.
@domtee
@domtee 2 года назад
Karma is closure! You said a mouthful right there !!!
@j-tenn226
@j-tenn226 2 года назад
Do their wives know?
@originalmix2546
@originalmix2546 6 месяцев назад
@@j-tenn226 very good question
@beac8238
@beac8238 5 месяцев назад
They didn’t love her if they betrayed her. They simply long for her because she left and it left an impression on their ego.
@smitchell8788
@smitchell8788 5 месяцев назад
@@j-tenn226In most cases they know but social pressure and traditions force the women to ignore their instincts…
@-blessed
@-blessed 3 года назад
Closure is something that we need to give ourselves. Especially if he's ghosting or doing a slow fade. My ex was utterly shocked when he disappeared for two weeks and I didn't chase after him. Even more shocked when the woman he tried to cheat with blocked him too and has been one of my best friends for two years now. He's blocked on my phone, but is still trying to get to me. I gave him closure. I was very clear about it, but he's trying to play like I didn't provide closure because he didn't like that I walked away.
@reaneeb4356
@reaneeb4356 3 года назад
"Oh you walked away!? The nerve!
@-blessed
@-blessed 3 года назад
@@reaneeb4356 Lol, right? He's trying to play like I "abandoned" him, when he was being unfaithful. In his mind, I'm the one who did him wrong. He ran me off with his toxic behavior and refuses to take responsibility for any of it. Thank goodness for Tony's videos, they helped me understand this dysfunction so I didn't waste any more of my time.
@princesstiffanynews
@princesstiffanynews 3 года назад
Good!
@b.u.str8up662
@b.u.str8up662 3 года назад
Keep on walking sis., Leave em behind u like a ponytail.❤️✌️
@kandycehitch8018
@kandycehitch8018 3 года назад
Love tony gaskins wisdom he really giving us the game... also I have your profile pic tattooed on my arm
@debsmith2789
@debsmith2789 3 года назад
Sometimes the man will try to upgrade to a great woman . When she requires quality of him , he doesn’t want to upgrade himself so he must return to his ex.
@thepurplequeen256
@thepurplequeen256 3 года назад
Absolutely correct
@ClowneryAtItsFinest
@ClowneryAtItsFinest 3 года назад
Damn….. I had to read this out loud!
@Nekole1
@Nekole1 3 года назад
This is very accurate. I agree.
@toriyt2714
@toriyt2714 3 года назад
It just depends on the man and where he is in life.
@miraclenaddior
@miraclenaddior 3 года назад
Yup!
@faith.111
@faith.111 3 года назад
He ghosted me. I pulled back all my energy. He cried and came back. Thought he could have me at arms reach. I know what I am and what I need. Don't need his closure. He needed closure and afraid of his karma lmao. He showed his true colors and ladies when they do, believe them the first time.
@user-mb9jx5tx9y
@user-mb9jx5tx9y 2 года назад
Was this someone you were in a relationship with ?
@durbansaladyinaccra2173
@durbansaladyinaccra2173 3 года назад
Some men look for an upgrade and find a downgrade but even though they didnt give closure, they still don't come back because they too proud to apologize and be accountable for what they did, so either way ladies, when a man doesn't have his full attention on you and then ghosts you and/or cheats, closure or no closure, DO NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO GET HIM BACK ! NOW MOVE ON ! 👑💯🙌
@sarah_1488
@sarah_1488 3 года назад
Ladies whenever you feel a thought creeping in about missing someone who hasn’t given you closure and has moved on…GET ANGRY WITH YOURSELF FOR EVEN HAVING THE THOUGHT. Move on for you.
@Shae_3
@Shae_3 3 года назад
No we should not get angry with ourselves. We should have compassion with ourselves because we are human with emotions.It’s enough people telling women already what they are doing wrong, and shaming us. We should treat ourselves with kindness. Talk to yourself with kindness and compassion on deserving better and moving forward because you are enough and don’t need someone to continue mistreating you, but be patient and kind with yourself, don’t be angry. Soothe and heal those angry parts❤️
@sarah_1488
@sarah_1488 3 года назад
I didn’t mean it in a hateful, demeaning way. I meant it in a dignified, “I deserve better and I don’t need his permission to move on” way. Closure is like asking a man permission to move on. So yes, I will get angry with myself and remind myself that I don’t need “closure” and to hold my head up high. Just sharing what works for me.
@ieshjust16
@ieshjust16 3 года назад
@@sarah_1488 💯💯
@Mindful.Movement.01
@Mindful.Movement.01 3 года назад
@@Shae_3 o I so love your comment. ❤️ you took the words right out my mouth. Have grace for yourself. You’re human. Honor your feelings and emotions. Transparency moment: I still think about ir thoughts of intimacy and them changing as a person still creep back up in my mind from time to time with men who have caused me a horrendous amount of trauma. It’s still kind of creeps me out and seem weird but I chalk it up as a soul tie/ umbilical cord I’m still trying to cut …. I am now learning soul ties ain’t no joke foreal
@hymnodyhands
@hymnodyhands 3 года назад
I always use such thoughts as a reminder to make sure I have removed all contacts with said men ... NOT GOING BACKWARD, and his life is as much my business as mine is his: NONE AT ALL.
@tracydavis148
@tracydavis148 3 года назад
I Don't need a Man to Close Doors , because I Do ! 🔥💯✅
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
Period!
@mochahontas4840
@mochahontas4840 3 года назад
Woop woop! 🙌🏽
@kamrynetia5835
@kamrynetia5835 3 года назад
yesss that part🎯
@tarahbruno3793
@tarahbruno3793 3 года назад
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
@beefaye6861
@beefaye6861 3 года назад
With bars on it !!!!!
@jenniferthompson5146
@jenniferthompson5146 3 года назад
Truth. My ex finally told me he was not going to marry me and I remember he was angerrrr-ey . A month later I blocked him for good and moved on. They know if they give you closure you will likely be gone for good.
@yourstruly1984
@yourstruly1984 3 года назад
Exactly 💯
@EH_888
@EH_888 3 года назад
He was angry because you blocked him? Serves him right.
@jenniferthompson5146
@jenniferthompson5146 3 года назад
@@EH_888 I think he was angry because he didn’t want to tell the truth, and was frustrated that I was trying to pull it out of him.
@liberatedilla
@liberatedilla 3 года назад
He was angry because he felt entitled to do whatever he wanted and couldn’t believe that u had the audacity to hold him accountable. How dare u make him be a man, he just wants to play and have it his way. Sit and wait and be in pain until he decides to circle back around. You’re just an “appliance”....sit your ass on the shelf until he needs his “coffee made” or his “toast toasted”.
@Gemini_Rising
@Gemini_Rising 3 года назад
I know why men dont give closure. Because they want to keep us in the same mess with them over and over again. I learned to give myself closure, and move on.
@cherh
@cherh 3 года назад
Why ask why ma'am? Why you need closure? Give closure to yourself. ❤ Give these men the same energy they give you.
@kelleybright3113
@kelleybright3113 3 года назад
The cold truth why ask why god is clear
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
Bingo!
@cherh
@cherh 3 года назад
@@kelleybright3113 right! God is really helping her out. She just has to trust & keep it moving
@cherh
@cherh 3 года назад
@@deliteful1991 💯
@rosagreene4364
@rosagreene4364 3 года назад
Coming to the realization that most men are this way is very unnerving. You really have to know who you are and have standards like Tony said.
@bregettewashington4669
@bregettewashington4669 3 года назад
It's better to fall back and do you and ghost them
@QueenOfPrinciple
@QueenOfPrinciple 3 года назад
...this is where I'm at now, even tho I admit it has its difficult moments. Everyday it gets better....easier. I'm busy!
@CM555
@CM555 3 года назад
My current situation right now ,but I’m not looking back
@bre_s9164
@bre_s9164 3 года назад
I sought closure because I needed to feel validated. I needed to know why I wasn’t good enough or what I could have done to keep the relationship. But the truth of the matter is I was just enough for me and not enough for the wrong guy.
@dn-cp6sh
@dn-cp6sh 3 года назад
Yes, they'll never tell you the truth anyways.
@madhuparnaghosh6254
@madhuparnaghosh6254 Месяц назад
This. Exactly this. But today he sent all of stuff. I loved a husk of a man. I am not a saint. But I needed to know. That's it. Today, I found my true worth, and blocked him, deleted him from my socials and contacts. He can't ever reach me. I know I wasn't the best. But I truly loved him. And he will never have anyone who could ever love him the way I did. He will have to settle for a woman, who won't have that heart (not for him). And that's my revenge. Enjoy the ride boo. It's going to be a wild one for you.
@Lilka20061990
@Lilka20061990 2 года назад
Disrespect is closure
@aneshrathomas
@aneshrathomas 2 года назад
Us women have so much power then we believe . Men do what we allow them to do, a man coming in & out will only drain you. Close that door don’t let him misuse your or valuable time 👸🏾💯
@Theoryxxx
@Theoryxxx 3 года назад
This was a good video. I had an ex-partner tell me I raised his standards, because after we broke up he was trying to replace me and couldn’t. The key is to leave them do not let them treat you foul! If he doesn’t know what he wants then drop him.
@LadyAngela678
@LadyAngela678 3 года назад
A man has never given me closure. He’s already been Blocked AND Deleted!! 🥴
@user-mb9jx5tx9y
@user-mb9jx5tx9y 2 года назад
Ladies a man won’t give closure so that he can come back freely when he wants to. It’s up to us to make sure that doesn’t happen.
@dublingirl1691
@dublingirl1691 3 года назад
“ If you feel there is something missing, kinda distant, he’s of and on, and distracted, all the signs he is looking for an upgrade” TG Tony spelled this scenario out perfectly and it was the behavior of my ex and he is no young pup at seventy. When do they ever grow up.
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
Another keynote is pay attention to their past relationship. I had a friend who dated a 55yr guy who was divorced because he had a baby with his mistress. He moved in with mistress and had a second baby with her and she flipped the script on him. Their relationship went sour. He had the audacity to play victim. My friend gave him a chance because he told her, he was a better man and changed his ways. I told her that tells you exactly the type of person he is. A year after dating him he still wouldn’t commit and broke up with via text. What an a..hole.
@j-tenn226
@j-tenn226 2 года назад
@@deliteful1991 and men will almost always bring up past relationships. You don’t even have to ask. It will come out over time, and you just sit back and listen.
@musicislyfe5906
@musicislyfe5906 2 года назад
What does "looking for an upgrade" mean?
@Adelina24244
@Adelina24244 2 месяца назад
@@musicislyfe5906 looking for someone better in looks appearance and attraction
@joeannwhite8746
@joeannwhite8746 3 года назад
I especially liked the part of "he got to catch up". When ya moving forward, ya not looking backwards
@denisemyers733
@denisemyers733 3 года назад
That’s right don’t be an open door policy. Keep it moving especially if your not what he wants. No man that truly want you is leaving you.
@spiritualprincess6065
@spiritualprincess6065 2 года назад
The dont give is closure because sometimes They just dont want To hurt you. No answer is Also an answer. Pick your self up And keep it moving. If They leave the door open. Close the door yourself.
@lifesinceseptember
@lifesinceseptember 3 года назад
Karma karma karma, period! No words for how calculated and heartless these men can be, smh😤
@Mindful.Movement.01
@Mindful.Movement.01 3 года назад
Sometimes I think karma is a joke. Men that have caused me horrendous amount of heart ache and pain and trauma all got off scott free and live their lives as if they don’t active wake up and seek out people (women) who they can intentionally hurt without consequences
@Lacilove1991
@Lacilove1991 3 года назад
My motto “if you leave stay gone ✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼“
@lynnmcmillian5137
@lynnmcmillian5137 3 года назад
I thank my ex for having the courage to tell me ! It was most appreciated, but now he see the error he made , but I’m at peace!
@beefaye6861
@beefaye6861 3 года назад
IKR.....I bet he feel like the dumbest thing walking 😂
@reaneeb4356
@reaneeb4356 3 года назад
Good lesson here. If he came back telling me he made a mistake, I would say yes you did and you have to live with the consequences - not me.
@AmberBrooklyn24
@AmberBrooklyn24 3 года назад
Tony is sooooo right. I always say that men are ALWAYS looking for someone better, that upgrade woman. That’s why a lot of them don’t want to settle down, they feel like they’re missing out on other women smh As a woman, the thought of the same person forever sometimes seems to be a lot. But it can also be too much to keep looking for more. But a lot of these men take it to the extreme with not being able to settle down. Be careful ladies 💕
@tchappell4237
@tchappell4237 3 года назад
My ex-husband showed it in his actions. He took a 3rd wife. It was for the best FOR ME. He was emotionally and physically abusive. I left him. Eighteen months later he married his third wife. I received no closure from him. I suffer from PTSD. I closed the door within myself BECAUSE my eyes and mind were opened wide. I lost all respect for him as a man, husband, and father to our daughter. It’s been nearly a decade and I am still healing BUT God is faithful and I have come a very long way. During this time, I have received a bachelor’s and master’s degrees of science. Haven’t found my purposeful career yet, but I am still moving forward by faith.
@ddblessed
@ddblessed 3 года назад
Men don't give closure because they want to keep that door open for back up options..., pure laziness it's just easier to slip back in there and sleep with someone their comfortable with until someone new is on their radar.. that way they never go without.... women YOU need self worth and YOU shut that door. your closure is if they left you, he didn't try and make it work.. They always think the grass is greener... he don't want you until he doesnt have anything else going on....
@thegoddessempirelifecoachi6298
@thegoddessempirelifecoachi6298 3 года назад
We should never be caught standing still! Not for a man and not even for ourselves but a continuous work in progress on our brain, brand and body.
@wandamajette5000
@wandamajette5000 3 года назад
As difficult as it may sound when a man behaves like this he is showing you who he really is. Be thankful. That's why you can't be on "your back". Keep your legs closed and eyes wide open.
@RoyalTeaNation
@RoyalTeaNation 3 года назад
Closure conversations are a waste! I’ve done it and all it does is open a door to regrets... or reopens an unnecessary door
@juliamarie8551
@juliamarie8551 3 года назад
Some men will string women along for years and years. Unfortunately, that wasted time can prevent women from having children.
@socialdistancingon8333
@socialdistancingon8333 3 года назад
Ladies, you don't need to wait for a man. Because the only REAL and true closure comes straight from you. And it comes with these words: "I hope you find what you are looking for." Even if you randomly text him out of the blue because he can't figure out what he wants and you just don't have the time to wait, don't want to wait, or simply don't want to think YET AGAIN about it.
@durbansaladyinaccra2173
@durbansaladyinaccra2173 3 года назад
Why should you give closure when HE is the one who messed up? The only closure he would get is seeing that I have moved on. Point blank perioood.
@LoveAlways1002
@LoveAlways1002 3 года назад
Without closure you can always have the possibility to come back 💯
@Dearest_Kenyetta
@Dearest_Kenyetta 3 года назад
This is very honest. It's really simple...men love options, and truth be told, we do too...but probably more so with other things tho. It just takes maturity. And like Tony said, don't leave it up to the man to set your standards....you keep your own standards. You always have a choice in the matter.
@simplybson
@simplybson 3 года назад
Wow!!!! If he close that door, you gon change the lock!!!! Woooo!!! Preach!!!!
@user-mb9jx5tx9y
@user-mb9jx5tx9y 2 года назад
Amazing right
@Dr.Elaine1
@Dr.Elaine1 3 года назад
“…he wants to keep the door open.” TG Kinda, Silk Sonic! 🤣🤣🤣
@tonid773
@tonid773 3 года назад
Too funny 🤣😂🤣😂
@toriyt2714
@toriyt2714 3 года назад
You’ll either be the one he goes all in with or you’ll be the one he knows he will be able to be with while still looking around meaning you are a safer choice less risk because he’ll be able to cheat while with you. It just depends on the man and where he is in his life. It’s also why you always get that call from those exes knowing they in a whole relationship lol.
@little.v4053
@little.v4053 3 года назад
It’s the phone calls for me. When I was with him, she called me at least every 2 months. Even when I blocked her, she called privately.
@Dr.Elaine1
@Dr.Elaine1 3 года назад
“If a woman can be in a relationship and seeing a better option, then a man is capable of the same thang.” TG
@mayasheartdesiire
@mayasheartdesiire 3 года назад
The way they go about it is all wrong tho!
@Dr.Elaine1
@Dr.Elaine1 3 года назад
@@mayasheartdesiire Agreed! We just need to know that it happens and give ourselves closure.
@mayasheartdesiire
@mayasheartdesiire 3 года назад
@@Dr.Elaine1 facts!!! 💯
@sheshae4101
@sheshae4101 3 года назад
Real
@andthnwat
@andthnwat 3 года назад
Closure is mine. Don't need anyone giving me what I can give myself. Learned this one the hard way.
@niccol8272
@niccol8272 2 года назад
I’ve learned to hold on to people loosely, EVERYONE. Always know at anytime anyone in your life can change their minds about you and it’s ok. I don’t want to be a prisoner and I don’t want to put anyone in a prison. Goodbye with love✌🏽🤷🏾‍♀️
@CarmenLifeCoach
@CarmenLifeCoach 3 года назад
One of the biggest gifts of self-love is to give yourself the closure you have been waiting from the other. You have the power and dignity within you to walk away from explanations that never arrived and heal from hurt no one apologized for, if you really put your mind up to it and decide your happiness comes first..and nothing else matters. No more wasted time, no more over-thinking, it's simple: the right one would never have left and you don't need to convince anyone who doesn't see value in having you by their side.
@winblessed1357
@winblessed1357 3 года назад
Amen.Thank you
@dimediamond
@dimediamond 3 года назад
Yes sis Learning art of walking away is the best tool a woman can utilize. Walk away from what does not serve you and do NoT have any expectations. Stop expecting a essay as to why and man stops dealing with you. Ghosting, inconsistencies and lies is enough for you to walk away.....gracefully. Not every loss is a loss. 💋
@freedom123-j8j
@freedom123-j8j 3 года назад
Thank you queen!👑
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
@@dimediamond this was a word🙌🏾👏🏾
@fpitts8025
@fpitts8025 3 года назад
❤❤❤
@scooby1970m
@scooby1970m 3 года назад
So again for us women healthy, solid boundaries and quality, uncomprising standards, periodtt
@toriyt2714
@toriyt2714 3 года назад
That’s it!
@eleonoradabarroso
@eleonoradabarroso 3 года назад
Men have a very hard time expressing their feelings and moving on the same way we do. This is why we should always be willing to leave if things are not working. Because otherwise they would stay till the end of time while messing up the relationship 😅
@toriyt2714
@toriyt2714 3 года назад
Hello lol
@QueenOfPrinciple
@QueenOfPrinciple 3 года назад
And many act all tough like they can take you or leave you, when really they want you to play the background if anything.....
@weareuniqueforareason7503
@weareuniqueforareason7503 3 года назад
THIS THO 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
@mayasheartdesiire
@mayasheartdesiire 3 года назад
So pretty much they being deceiving af smh. It’s like women always get the short end of the stick. Men be worrying about the wrong thing steady trying to find better when they got a good woman in front of them and they mess it up
@beefaye6861
@beefaye6861 3 года назад
Just watch them actions..... 👀
@mayasheartdesiire
@mayasheartdesiire 3 года назад
@@beefaye6861 they need to watch what they do too
@beefaye6861
@beefaye6861 3 года назад
@@mayasheartdesiire No....thats what I mean....watch his actions....not what he says what he does....it tells a lot 👍😁
@ieshjust16
@ieshjust16 3 года назад
🤷🏾‍♀️
@PlayshotKalo
@PlayshotKalo 3 года назад
It’s funny though, men usually cheat on their partners with someone less attractive than their partner, this is proven by studies. Strange how they’re looking for better but end up with worse in practice
@LadieTasha
@LadieTasha 3 года назад
My ex tried to give me closure, I still slammed the door in his face🥴
@QueenOfPrinciple
@QueenOfPrinciple 3 года назад
Damn 😂😂 close this 👈🏾
@drtee2905
@drtee2905 3 года назад
You are on point Tony! I have always been the one to break it off. The guys NEVER told me to move on and find someone better than them. They NEVER gave closure! Hindsight....they were never for me in the first place.
@wandamajette5000
@wandamajette5000 3 года назад
That's the point some women are missing. Since he doesn't care for you like that he doesn't care about your feelings either.
@mdoingme
@mdoingme 3 года назад
Interesting. I was told by one of my younger friends (around 30yo) it's just easier to walk away vs. explaining himself or watching a woman cry, and taking responsibility for hurting her. Tony's right, 10 out of 10, the man already has someone and wasn't truly interested, in the first place. He really just wanted the cookie or was unsure about another relationship. So, when it doesn't work out, and/or the woman actually catches feelings, they avoid her and just act like nothing happened and move on and HOPEFULLY the woman will let him back in the door he left open.
@EH_888
@EH_888 3 года назад
Basically he is immature, low integrity, a coward, and avoids responsibility.
@mdoingme
@mdoingme 3 года назад
@@EH_888 EXACTLY! and wonders why we're not friends anymore lol but the other young men in the room certainly didn't disagree with him so... 🤷🏾‍♀️
@shatinahouston9566
@shatinahouston9566 2 года назад
It's crazy that a man can be lacking in so many categories yet a woman will still accept that & pour luv in2 him & be faithful, but a woman can be pretty darn gud in most categories & the man will still look 2 replace her..
@originalmix2546
@originalmix2546 6 месяцев назад
exactly .. this I Will never understand!!!
@erynd.9911
@erynd.9911 3 года назад
I needed to pause the video just to say i love how honest Tony is and has always been about his journey with himself and his wife! He never sugar coats anything or acts like it’s always been sunshine and roses! I also love how he doesn’t just answer the question he will give a back story , reasoning, a lot of logic and common sense and I really appreciate the time he takes and the way he breaks it all down and brings it back together ! I’m starting to see where I have messed up in my past relationships!
@happycamper3561
@happycamper3561 3 года назад
This is why I am going to die single. I’m utterly disgusted by this kind of behavior. It’s truly sick.
@chrissy1448
@chrissy1448 3 года назад
That last part Tony. I know a woman who is still stuck on an ex from 20 years agoooo... unbelievably sad!
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
Wow, just reading your comment breaks my heart for her.
@gretasfaith
@gretasfaith 3 года назад
Hello All! Teach Tony! I’m definitely sharing this video. Woman we must start a new movement that promotes our worth! Let’s be examples of Godly standards.... The man that God has for you will come running.
@linrey3397
@linrey3397 3 года назад
I agree. Men don't need to commit bc they have too many options. There are always woman freely giving away their bodies.
@lynnmcmillian5137
@lynnmcmillian5137 3 года назад
The more intimate I was with my husband at the time more I desired to be with him , but I had to realize many don’t have enough respect for themselves and that can be a home breaker!
@terikabrown1853
@terikabrown1853 3 года назад
One of my exes who I loved for years..contacted me on social media a few years back and he was married! Telling me how he searched for me for years.. For what tho!?? You have a whole wife and kids!! Boy please!
@munix9351
@munix9351 3 года назад
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I had one reply to my email two years later. He married by the way. He said he was looking for me on social media. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw his email. The audacity!!!!!
@mexicanbeautyqueen7988
@mexicanbeautyqueen7988 3 года назад
We have to really take a look 👀 at prince Harry.. He left a whole kingdom for a woman..
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
Ok and don’t care what they say or how they feel about her.
@user-xw9cz8fv3e
@user-xw9cz8fv3e 3 года назад
Prince Harry is not known for emotional intelligence cause the same women abandoned her all family on Both side. Isn't that red flag?
@royalc3996
@royalc3996 3 года назад
Not an accurate example. He didn't give up his title or privileges. Plus, there was MAJOR manipulation on the lady's part.
@MaishPosh
@MaishPosh 3 года назад
And dating apps makes this 20x worse, they swipe right and left like we are disposable & the many women they match with you do anything small to turn him off & he’ll go to his roster he got from the dating apps. Ghost you like you don’t matter because of the saturation of dating apps 🤷🏽‍♀️ like a kid in a Candy store eating so much candy not even finishing the ones he bit off on because of the many options
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
So true. That’s why Tony did a video about dating apps. He said to get rid of these apps.
@nappyfries
@nappyfries 3 года назад
I totally agree but at the same time, I feel like we have a lot more options on dating apps than they do. I have a friend that hardly ever gets matches or even likes first and he’s a good looking guy. But me on the other hand..omg I have a ton of likes from guys ranging from 21-45 & I’m 38. That’s not to say anything about me I’m just saying I think we have more options on dating apps than they do.
@MaishPosh
@MaishPosh 3 года назад
@@nappyfries I thought they’d have so many options on the apps 🤭 or maybe he’s just cute to you 😅
@nappyfries
@nappyfries 3 года назад
@@MaishPosh lol I know several women who think he looks good but that’s beside the point. My point was that even though we might feel that they have a ton of options, I think we have a lot more especially if we’re pretty or even if those guys just want sex. I’m sure women get a lot more attention on dating apps.
@toriyt2714
@toriyt2714 3 года назад
@@nappyfries m’am duh it’s because men lead with sex and will sleep with way more women than they’ll be in a relationship with. That’s why women get tons more matches because men cast wider nets because they are going off sex. Women in the other hand are far more picky and concentrated on something sustainable. Women more so lead with relationships so that’s why men don’t get as many matches or likes.
@shavonneosborne7845
@shavonneosborne7845 3 года назад
This was so good!!! You want closure you have to close the door yourself!!!
@curiositykillsthe2597
@curiositykillsthe2597 3 года назад
Based on personal observations a man will go two directions…he’ll decide to go all in or he’ll get with someone who he knows he can be with while still looking around thus the cheating in so many relationships/marriages.
@mangoesnbreadfruit01
@mangoesnbreadfruit01 3 года назад
I fully agree with you Tony! My Cut-Off Game is Top Tier! A1 quality! None of my Ex's can contact me, period. I have learned to give myself closure long before discovering your YT channel, Tony. But it's good to hear that I'm doing the right thing. You're 100% right about closure, why men rarely give it and why women need to give it to themselves. My brother still calls (or tries to text her) his Ex gf from 15 years ago from time to time just to "check in" and he's in a relationship with a completely different woman for 15 years now and they have a son together. I know because we're friends and she told me. I told her to block him! He doesn't need to talk to her. She says she doesn't answer any of his calls. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️
@reaneeb4356
@reaneeb4356 3 года назад
That's so aweful for the women your brother in a relationship with now because his heart is not 100% with her.
@mangoesnbreadfruit01
@mangoesnbreadfruit01 3 года назад
@@reaneeb4356 🤷🏽‍♀️
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
Same…. My block and delete game is solid. My ex husband taught we would be friends. Hell to the no. He has tried on two separate occasions to friend request me on Facebook. Declined. I want no friendship with him.
@mangoesnbreadfruit01
@mangoesnbreadfruit01 3 года назад
@@deliteful1991 Your ex-husband was sadly mistaken, lol 🔥🔥🔥😂😂😂👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@mangoesnbreadfruit01
@mangoesnbreadfruit01 3 года назад
@@kaleema1987 🔥🔥🔥👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
@unlikenoother434
@unlikenoother434 3 года назад
This content right here is PRICELESS and a total confirmation on how I moved in a similar situation just yesterday...giving my ownself closure. Thank you Tony! A true gem in this time.
@RommanysWorld
@RommanysWorld 3 года назад
Just know you’re very strong. 👍
@bribri4275
@bribri4275 3 года назад
Truth be told, it seems this goes both ways in that a lot of women worship men when they themselves lack love for God. Then, we seem to want to find our purpose and validation in relationships which explains why we so often feel the need to get closure out of relationships that were unequally yoked to begin with.
@christinam81
@christinam81 3 года назад
🙏🏽🙌🏽 You're so right. Truth hurts and I admit that this was me last year. I definitely knew it was a bad match by month 5, but it lasted almost 7 years. So sad, but I know better now!
@sarairivera-cintronmsw1548
@sarairivera-cintronmsw1548 11 месяцев назад
You think there is something better than me out there? Good luck. I am the upgrade. If you didn’t know it already, then it will be too late when you actually recognize it. 🔥❤️💯
@Jakilyn
@Jakilyn Год назад
I ended things with a guy I briefly dated recently. I asked for a break due to my work schedule & moving, among other time consuming things. Instead of responding, he thumbed up a text and ignored me. Never heard from him again. I am utterly shocked someone I talked with everyday would do this. Evidently, he was already over it. I never got closure. Maybe he wanted to punish me, but more than likely, he doesn't give a f*ck.
@renees8199
@renees8199 3 года назад
I give them closure bc I will tell him the reason why it's over. After the break up, I block him. Whether we have a good or bad break up, there is no need to stay in contact, especially if there are no kids or business venture involved.
@25msweet
@25msweet 3 года назад
Get your own closure!!!! Don’t wait on them to give it to you! Forgive them and Release them!🙌🏽❤️
@QueenOfPrinciple
@QueenOfPrinciple 3 года назад
Wow, Amen. Powerful statement. HARD
@truthspeaker1508
@truthspeaker1508 Год назад
I think that’s the difference. K owing your purpose as a man... a lot of men who wanna hit everything they see are lost, don’t know who they are don’t have a sense of purpose and may be using sex to compensate for other things.
@dh5573
@dh5573 3 года назад
man oh man, if only I stumbled upon this video 10 years ago… could’ve saved so much time and heartbreaks!
@kristabland1657
@kristabland1657 3 года назад
Thank you for finally voicing what I had been struggling with for months. I mistakenly fell for someone who was just simply breadcrumbing me and keeping me as a backup. I've tried multiple times to tell him goodbye but I couldn't see it through because he'd hook me with another breadcrumb followed by more distance and silence. So I've quietly decided to let him go. I deleted his information out of my phone and I'm no longer looking over my shoulder waiting for him to come back. I've decided to move on. If he comes back, we can try to work things out. But he's no longer expected to come back into my life. I do wish him the best, though, and I hope he eventually finds what he's looking for
@cheekscheeks5840
@cheekscheeks5840 3 года назад
Well the door is locked over here . My new friend respects me and very honest so far. I love that he makes me laugh n cook for me he’s very tentative to my needs. Not going to look back at the past wasted too many years on a boy period .
@Trisha_B_done
@Trisha_B_done 3 года назад
Tony is so right. I thought something wrong with me when guys disappear then suddenly reappear 2 yrs later. I don't crcle back. I have only had one guy who honestly stated he was not interested in marrying me bc we I did not meet the goals he dreamed for him & his wife. But that was only bc I questioned him directly on a New Years Eve after 2 yrs of dating.
@reaneeb4356
@reaneeb4356 3 года назад
I was just talking to a guy and he adamantly told me that he never circles back. I didn't care because I wasn't into him. How about a few years later he tried to circle back to me - SMH!
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
@@reaneeb4356 they always come back in some way shape or form.🙄 They seek validation or their ego stroked.
@emaf.
@emaf. 3 года назад
Never needed closure from a man, I let The Most High help me.
@fayjones7918
@fayjones7918 3 года назад
Tony, you are so right I’ve been there before with my kids Dad but I did finally walk away he wasn’t ever going to tell me that!!! And to this day I think God for not allowing me to marry him we are 50 & unfortunately he still doesn’t know who he is.
@lisaariottiart
@lisaariottiart 3 года назад
I've had a few try and stay my "friend" while they sample the fish..... get lost .... you where never my friend to begin with if you could never come correct in the relationship. It takes time and actions to become a friend.
@toriyt2714
@toriyt2714 3 года назад
That part sis
@Mindful.Movement.01
@Mindful.Movement.01 3 года назад
Exactly. Had one try this bullshit .. older cat… I told him that ain’t gone work for me he still tried to come with the friendship bullshit . I was outta there. They think they can do and say what they want and when you be the one to try and break it off and all communication because of their weak ass ego they think they slick and try to keep things going when you have already made yourself clear and then the minute you do and say something they don’t like it’s nothing for them to “drop” you like they doing something or “hurting” you 🙄. Im over these men
@deliteful1991
@deliteful1991 3 года назад
Alexa play Drake “No new friends”
@nursebritbrat08
@nursebritbrat08 3 года назад
The big brother I’ve never had! I truly appreciate your videos Tony thank you so much for all you do!
@cindeed4422
@cindeed4422 3 года назад
Beyoncé sang “Upgrade U” and all the while men want to update us. Wow. That’s deep. Computers and phones get a upgrade but men cannot accept us for what we are. Men want the stuck women and the upgrade too. But you upgrade to the man who wants you!
@ItsMeNatashat
@ItsMeNatashat 3 года назад
THIS IS A PROPHETIC SPIRIT THAT THIS MAN HAS ON HIM! I don’t care what nobody says! Wow!!!
@TiffanyBTV
@TiffanyBTV 3 года назад
Tony you’re right. Sounds like the movie “Temptation”… it may look greener on the other side but she got the bad end of the stick . She had a nice family guy but she thought the other guy was in her league because he was more successful
@Queen-ConsciousYa
@Queen-ConsciousYa 2 года назад
She had an amazing guy! He was smart, handsome, funny, loving, ambitious etc. she messed up because she let her desires control her. I think whenever men or women do that, there’s going to be a loss because we’re leading with things that arent even real. (money, ego, beauty)
@lisel.133
@lisel.133 3 года назад
Men do sometimes say this while also trying to sleep with you the next day.....
@khocolateable
@khocolateable 3 года назад
How about the same day chile 😯
@practicalteachingchronicle6631
@practicalteachingchronicle6631 3 года назад
Society has plucked men up and redesigned God plan and messed up everything. This is why we having these conversation and have so many single people in the world
@farahelf6120
@farahelf6120 Год назад
My exes never apologize to me. At first i felt like i needed them to understand how they hurt me and needed closure.Then i realized that's giving them too much power. I forgave myself and moved on. I know God only allowed all this past hurt to mold me into the strong woman that I am today. No man from my past worth wasting that much energy on.
@qscott888
@qscott888 3 года назад
Listening because this is a million dollar question for many.
@kelleybright3113
@kelleybright3113 3 года назад
Moma said listening is a skill u must learn she 72 wit 2 pensions retired 2 jobs queen lady she pure old skool
@klickingkayasmr7585
@klickingkayasmr7585 3 года назад
Ouch. The truth is so uncomfortable. Another great video! God bless you, T. 🎯
@rosagreene4364
@rosagreene4364 3 года назад
Yes this was very uncomfortable 😫
@ShesGottaFastCar
@ShesGottaFastCar 3 года назад
I close the door for them 😂
@beefaye6861
@beefaye6861 3 года назад
Lol 😂😂😂 and put the chain on it ⛓
@ShesGottaFastCar
@ShesGottaFastCar 3 года назад
@@beefaye6861 yessss ma’am 😂
@ShesGottaFastCar
@ShesGottaFastCar 3 года назад
@@kaleema1987 😂
@ShesGottaFastCar
@ShesGottaFastCar 3 года назад
@@kaleema1987 only God opens knocked on doors and you are not him so let them keep knocking sis 😂
@yayyay2194
@yayyay2194 3 года назад
I'm not leaving any doors open. If he left then he left ... With words or no words .. it doesn't matter ... I'll find my own closure ... A persons decisions and choices have always determined what moves I make and it hasnt failed me yet ... 👍✌
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