1) you were boring 2) you did not take any risk 3) you were too easy/keen 4) you were qualifying yourself 5) she got the “ick” from some of the most random shit 😂 6) competition from other guys she is dating/seeing
I had a chick who we sleept together. It was amazing best date. And she actually told me that it was the best date of her life. I tried to set up a second date but it just wasn't happening. She always ignored my date ideas and moved on with the conversation. We flirted in text and everything we even met accidentally while in the city and we actually kissed and stuff, and one day she just completelly ignored me. Life happens. Im sad about it but I could not do anything so I moved on. I was sad and upset initially but then I realsied that I just had the perfect 1 night stand witha 10/10 chick that will be a great story for the rest of my life. So im kind of thankful to her.
Exactly. Never cared about being ghosted, it just meant we didn't have chemistry. Just let it go, sometimes you get a second chance a couple of months later, when she and you are in a different mindset.
In my opinion, ghosting serves as a major red flag because ghosting shows that a person is avoidant, cowardly, and emotionally immature; three characteristics that you don’t want to have in a potential girlfriend or wife. For a relationship to work, two people must be willing to be transparent and have uncomfortable conversations with their partner to overcome conflict and understand each other better. After I obtain a woman’s phone number, I often ask the question, “ Have you ever ghosted anyone before?” as a screening question because I want to gauge whether she’s avoidant and emotionally immature immediately. When I have been ghosted ( if you talk to enough women, it happens to everyone and is an unavoidable aspect of the dating game), I consider it a blessing in disguise because that women wasn’t relationship material.
This is a good way to look at it, but asking them wont do anything in my experience. They can always lie and say no they haven't and they'll still ghost you (speaking from experience)
@@rjmacready9828That’s true. They could say no and still ghost you. However, from my experience, ghosting is so commonplace and a part of the culture that females will readily admit that they’ve done it before. They also don’t realize that ghosting indicates low emotional maturity and avoidant behavior, so they don’t have an issue admitting that they have ghosted people. When people don’t know what you’re assessing for, they’re more likely to give an honest answer to your question.
This video shouldn't exist. Ghosting is a dramatically immature way to handle difficulties and should be condemned, ridiculed, stigmatized and discouraged. There is a reason why ghosted people feel extremely uncomfortable in the situation and that is it's a form of absolute disrespect. A man is not responsible for being ghosted by a woman. Rejection is ok, ghosting is not ok. If women were held to a bare minimum standard, then ghosting wouldn't exist. If you were ghosted by a woman, stop asking yourself what you did wrong, just erase her from your memory and move on. You only have to ponder your mistakes if you were rejected (and even then it's not always your fault) and ghosting women are below your level, so don't even waste your time with them.
I thought the purpose of the word “ghosted” was to distinguish between receiving or not receiving an explanation from the woman for why she doesn’t like you. If she doesn’t explain and you just don’t hear from her anymore, then it’s like she has disappeared-that’s ghosting. But, if she says something like, “I don’t want to go out again because blah blah blah,” then you know the reason you won’t hear from her again-that’s not ghosting. I would love it if women explained to me why they don’t like me, because I could learn so much and get much better at this. But, about 99% of them do not-they just disappear.
they won't tell you the bare truth, because they don't want to risk having to deal with a frustrated and angry man. Rejected men do violent things to women. So figure it out on your own. Some factors are your nature, some are hers.
@@tomaszsosnowski9279 thats a myth How many news stories of rejected men doing things to women are out there i cant find any its also a myth you think she wont be straight forward with you if shes a human being she will
Imma keep it a bean, and maybe I’m a dork for saying this, but all this seems like a fuck ton of effort for a mediocre product. I’d much rather just work on myself, be it the gym or my flight training. I’m kinda checked out when I hear how hard you have to try just to kinda succeed with women
I get what you're saying. In my experience, dating is a numbers game. You're "collecting data", but people get attached to an outcome, and that's why they're disappointed. When you meet the right person, it just clicks, and there's no need for games. You're both equally into each other and can have fun.
There is one more- showing too much of your talents. I can sing, dance and be funny. When I showed all of these , the woman thought I was too good for her.
No one can ever explain clearly and explicitly about ghosting like you. Really appreciate that! Ironically, a guy knowing more about the game faces this phenomenon more often than a newbie.
But not as big a gift as having some amazing adventures with her. And then parting ways with her on your terms. It's one of those where this is a game with more skill than Monopoly and more luck than Chess. Where you might as well play it skilfully.
That last point about getting really close to sex but not having it is really interesting. I was ghosted by a girl recently (and we definitely hit it off), and it was exactly that situation. I was extremely confused about what had happened. Anything we can do to turn it around?
@@SkyHermit on these situations, depending on the type of interaction I had with the girl, I like sending a final message. I sent her one saying "I'm genuinely confused, I thought we had really clicked. But that's ok, it happens. I had a really nice time with you and I hope you had as well. I'll see you around". And she responded saying that she met someone else and that's why she didn't wanna go out with me, didn't wanna be with two guys at once. Is it true? Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? Doesn't really matter. And that was the end of it. Before anyone says that I should have just ignored her, I like sending these final messages. Gives me closure. It's not like it changes anything. And I'm not doing it to get a response either (although getting one with an explanation in these cases is nice), it's simply to get it off my chest and move on
It’s unfortunately the reality of modern day dating. For centuries the average American woman had about 5 dating options (typically her ex and the guy in the cubicle next to her at work and a couple guys from her social circle). Now, thanks to online dating and social media, the same average woman has about 70 dating options. There's a serious problem when even a 5/10 woman has more dating abundance than even Chris Hemsworth could fathom. This type of abundance causes sky high ghosting/flaking. I’m a day game enthusiast and that makes things a bit easier for me but even when I # close a woman on the sidewalk or in Nordstrom, she’s still on several social media apps and sometimes dating apps behind the scenes. All we can do is go volume to overcome this unfortunate reality
Ghosting is lame. How hard is it to say " I'm just not feeling a connection. " P.S. You didn't mention the practical reasons like he used old photos of himself that don't represent him now. It's not only women who do this! Or, he has bad hygiene, which is impossible to know from a profile.
@@leakovido This is true too. I've had guys say things like " you're not all that anyway" ,or some other form of insult. It's unfortunate because I've been rejected by plenty of men and I would never dream of insulting them just because he wasn't interested.
Sounds like a lot of rationalization to me. It’s immature, transactional, childish, a sign of being emotionally unhealthy and avoidant of conflict, etc. All of this is a sign that if you got into a relationship with her, she very likely will act in the same way: not say what she really thinks, avoid difficult conversations, be judgy and transactional, not see you as a human being, etc. if she ghosts, she’s filtering -herself- out, and not desirable as anything more than a wet hole experience
My bigger problem is being ghosted after the first date, where we actually end up sleeping. I had it now 3 times in a row. Meet a girl, everything goes well, attraction there, we end up in my place, I make food, treat them well, we have an awesome experience in bed, I make them orgasm in one way or another, and then they leave usually the same day, and then hesitate to meet up again. Might be because they are young (around 24), might be because there is a big difference between us, like I am in my 30s with stable high income job, really fit and all. But I don't understand...Just baffles me
They just wanna have fun at that age. They just started getting tons of male attention. You probably give off “I wanna marry and settle down vibes”… be chill, don’t be overbearing, set them free, no relationship talk. Just ask them to hang out, bring them back to your place and do the deed. Then repeat. they will always come back.
The answer is simple, and that’s why it’s hard for a lot of men to understand and accept - If she sleeps with you quickly (first night/first date) she views you as “fun”. She’s not sleeping with you quickly because you’re viewed as a good long-term option. Women often do things quickly with “short-term” guys and make long-term guys wait a few dates. I’ve been with hundreds of women and I clearly see that the majority of women who gave it up super quickly and easily kept it strictly to one time. And the girls who didn’t sleep with me the first date and who made me wait until date 2 or 3 they always stuck around and we dated for a while. Men have a very hard time understanding that women are incredibly practical. They will not stick around just because you gave them an orgasm or they slept with you quickly. They stay if they see a long-term benefit in you and this usually implies their lifestyle getting better by being with you (travel/money/location/safety/status) etc…
I used to see it as a problem and thinking of it or what could have been or gone differently. Then, after dating more mature women I learnt a lot of female nature. I gathered that was more likely to be ghosted by girls my age or younger than me; they cannot handle a man that is in control or self assured. Let them do the work, be nice on the date and perhaps, a simple goodnight without saying you enjoyed the date. Let them show you that they find you special otherwise think that is their loss. Do not chase. At the end of the day they are likely to marry someone that is a slob, has problem with alcohol or a fuc*** up mentality. It is their nature. Enjoy the game
"They didn't want me so their lives will probably suck" Just because you weren't picked doesn't mean they'll be unhappy. You're projecting your own fear of loneliness and unhappiness.
@@briskettacos there is a difference between solitude and loneliness. Men shall never be afraid by any of the two and most certainly enjoy the first one. If you are a value man then you won’t experience the latter one. Female happiness goes at stages. They are indeed wired differently from us due to evolutionary pattern. Yes they are happy to have a child, and a family, but after 5 years they are very different in what to expect from a partner and the divorce/ separation rate is for every one to see. I could date them but never fully commit. It pays you in the long term (IMO), given the way society is now structured. I wish you all the happiness and luck
You are God's angel toddv, knowing game has made me feel like a king amongst men. I thank you for sharing this knowledge with us on RU-vid. I'm a Tanzanian, there was no way I could afford your masterclass coaching so it's nice you have given us so many gems to grasp on here.
I actually am the one who does most of the ghosting, it happens to girls all the time. It's rare that I don't get a text a day or two after the date, even when I thought it was obvious that I wasn't really interested. I do however get ghosted once in a while with messaging even when it seems good.
Your line for Online Game "You're adorable, fingers crossed you're not crazy" ive found a slightly better 2023 version: "Oof! You're adorable, fingers crossed you're also slightly crazy" seriously. This is the 👌 In context - I have a really well built and developed profile, I'm also a Non-famous Profesional Athlete. But im like a slight 7 in looks and a 9 or 10 in charisma. This line works boys! Use it as enteries to online sets. Currently seeing a 95% respond rate and about a 85% date rate with the right replies. Never in my life have I went on a date with a diffrent girl every day of the week for 3 weeks. 32 years old. I only shoot for 7 - 10s and the average is leaning towards 8.5
If the woman on the date isn't making any effort to make the encounter any flirtatious or exciting, I am doing none of the monkey circus to prove any value whatsoever. I won't try to touch her or make her laugh and feel amazing. It takes two to tango, and I won't spend any mental energy for a one sided story. So I will gladly let her ghost me, if she was less engaging than a piece of cardboard. That only came with age and experiencing women that really put some effort on the date.
If she finds you hot, you will have the second date and more. And you don't have to do all the calculated shenanigans to prove your value or experience.
If they ghost you , that’s alright they don’t know what you’re how good your man don’t waste your time with them you could get mad you’ll never be happy with that suited women. Do you know where I don’t not worth it they look outside living online
"Girls in 2023 often do have sex on the first date" If thats the case, then why would any self-respecting man go on a second date with a woman they haven't slept with yet? Why work harder for sex when another guy got it easier?
A guy can also get too exited just because a girl is into him. My friend said that once a girl shows interest in him he loses interest ! Isn't that fucked up ?
How Human Nature Works Human nature is the desire to receive, also called “desire to enjoy,” and it functions by receiving what is beneficial to itself and rejecting what is harmful. Everything in our lives is built upon this calculation where we first try to distance ourselves from harm, and then seek how to draw ourselves closer to what is beneficial. Human nature also includes a multilayering of systems that work simultaneously on still, vegetative, animate and human levels. One of those systems is our bodily one, which operates involuntarily. If our bodies are healthy, then they know what is good for them and draw that goodness to themselves. After the bodily system, there is the emotional system, which also functions relatively according to instinct. From the emotional system, we move to the mind, and from the mind to the intellect, and so on. That is, we have systems over systems that concurrently work on receiving what is beneficial and rejecting what is harmful. Such is human nature and the essence of our lives. Our every desire, thought and action operates according to the calculation, “How can we receive what is most beneficial to us and reject what is harmful?”
Things were going good until I sent a couple bad texts failing what could have been a shit test. I then apologized for the bad texts and said they were out of character. What can I do besides move on if she ghosts me? I really like this girl. She works at a Starbucks inside of a barnes & nobles bookstore. Could i like show up and make it seem unintentional or would she catch on & think I'm creepy/stalkery? I really need a strategy here.
@@cinemarat1834 any neuro-typical man that has the courage to put himself out there is going to get a little butt hurt from time to time…yes even Todd V. 😉
That's called being too emotional bro you just let it go move on if you show you are angry or triggered you'll make it obvious why she's rejected you or isn't into you Don't need to get emotional man up move on sometimes they come crawling back because of this.
what’s so funny is how much women HATE being ghosted 😂 When I do am honest and communicated I won’t be seeing her anymore: oh boy ! they just hate rejection and DO NOT take it gracefully
I’m good at pick up but bad at first dates. Recently two girls told me why they didn’t want to see me again and it was nothing that Todd talks about in his video. Girl 1 told me I didn’t share enough about my interests and talk about them with enough passion. Girl 2 had a list of about 6 different things that she saw as red flags ranging from my profession to some diet I did for a year off RU-vid . So really girls are fucking pickier than you think. Both those dates the conversation was going great, the girl was laughing a lot. I’m a confident , carefree , funny guy. But that’s not enough .
Your first problem was believing that what those two gurls said was the truth Gurls aren't picky unless you give them the opportunity to These gurls standards are in the gutter
They were telling the truth man. Im confident, funny, carefree, good looking and a great conversationalist. I tick all those boxes. Ive been on a fuckton of dates and ive slept with 100 women. Im telling you women have a checklist and a certain type of guy theyre looking for when meeting guys from online dating apps. TRUST ME. Especially If you meet them for a daytime date they are screening you for boyfriend material and every question they ask you is an opportunity for you to sell yourself. If you dont sell yourself and say the right things about your life, interests, political views , career goals or WHATEVER, the girl will ghost you bro. If you dont beleive thats fine, but Im trying to help.
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Listen and adjust. The essence of sales. And this is sales. Passion matters. I see people under 30 talk and it’s like they on methadone.
@@EugeneKurlikin Absoloutely . For somereason ive always been a humble guy and would use self deprecating humour alot even tho I have alot of things going for me. The girl from the date really opened my eyes to that and that I need to be selling myself to these women(without ciming accros approval seeking). Honestly on that date I would put my self down as an attempt at humour instead of taking opportunities to share the awesome things about myself. Pretty crazy that I do that.
I hear people’s complaints about ghosting. I think it hurts getting a reply or getting ghosted. I once texted a girl “sorry I got back with my ex” and I possibly hurt her more
Some men will get ghosted more often than others. A lot more often in some cases. Understanding the principles behind what makes women ghost is what this video is all about. With it containing sound advice from a professional in this field. I think it makes more sense to be the sort of guy that is less likely to get ghosted. And to be the sort of guy that when ghosting happens, it's no big deal and to make it something to laugh about.
Do you really belive this ? When women start liking you just for you if ever youll have more options than 99% of gurls it literally becomes the opposite even if youre in love you will come into contact with but be careful because its intimidating to them idk why
@@lint8391You can‘t become the ‚guy who is likely to be ghosted’, that‘s the complete wrong approach. Bending your personality to every chick’s flaws? This is so beta… Set some standards for yourself, and learn how to calibrate a woman‘s body and verbal language. If she ghosts you nevertheless, nothing you can do about it. Unfortunately there are a lot if immature or even toxic, game-playing chicks out there, the days when you could say, woman are maturing faster then men are long gone…
@@firsthelix6726 Women are attracted to men that display high levels of mental and emotional strength. There's nothing beta about that. It's better to be the dumper than the dumpee. It's better to tolerate the flaws in your girlfriend whilst you're with her. Nobody's perfect. And to dump her if, overall, she's not worth spending more time with. It's possible to get along fine with toxic / immature / game-playing chicks. A proportion of them are worth forming relationships with, because as an overall package they're "good enough".
Well she ghosted me after 4 months (after 2 months of dating we called it a relationship or whatever) It out of the blue without any "fights" between us she ghosted me , blocked me on social media except whatsapp and wouldn't respond back to my texts I know she has mental health and major family problems but it still hurts and it's been two weeks of no contact and I'm not certain what to do My last text to her was "I don't know what happened but what are we? Are we together still or not?" I end up on seen 🤦🏻🤷🏻
Hi Todd. I think it would help us viewers having more simple drills like the one you did about the five steps to cold approach. I'm kinda natural and comprehend most of the theory but I'm lacking in the stage of confort and my conversations when I drill are very short although I have managed to have my attraction skills up to even 10s I feel more comfortable opening a 10 than an 8 somehow. And see better IOIs with the 10s. But I get MISTREATED by 8s and 7s and recently a 8.9. Fucking ghosted the fuck away I know practice is going to push me but maybe some drills would be nice. Specially in the comfort stage. Greetings, last video about the model is great a lot to learn there. Thanks
So some people recommend just grabbing coffee for the first date to see if the two of you actually like each other. That sounds like not optimal based on this breakdown
I think I tried to escalate to sex too fast. Got to second base and kept pushing. She texted me back after the date but didn’t respond to last text (been 12 hours) any follow up good that I can do to make her think I’m not all abt sex?
11:40 this is exactly what happened to me recently. A coworker of mine has been flirting around with me on and off for 4 months. Another guy came into the picture at some point so we didn’t go out, but then she came back around. I asked her out and we started making plans, but then a couple of my family members died and I couldn’t take her out for 3 weeks. She told me I was important to her and she cared about me, so I should take my time. But then she lost interest anyway and I got ghosted. 🤷♂️ Life happens lmao. Also, I did come back and ask to make plans, but she ended up flaking on me. Not worth it.
If you judge a woman/person by their actions instead of their words, you can never take it personally. If a woman ghosts you, she is saying... By her actions that she's not interested and that's completely fine.
The day after my mom died I did not cancel a date which turned very hot and heavy at the end and I got ghosted after that because I ended up doing numbers 1,2,4 and 5 at the same time. To hit the bingo, all I had to do is send her the weird text. Damn.
The girls ghost you after #1 date particularly due to these primary reasons: -the way you convey yourself ie lifestyle is not up to her level at least consciously (she know she can do better) -she is not looking for casual sex, so to maintain her ASD she logically tells herself that he's the bad one for initiating sexual interest Most of the time it's #1 reason imo, the girl shall see you has a little beta quality that she can forsee have a greater lifestyle, it's not necessarily just casual thing only
