Why is Getting a Wife So Expensive For Chinese Men? - Intermediate Chinese - Chinese Conversation 

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This is like listening to a real conversation and learning the language and culture all at the same time, brilliant format.

I am attending the wedding of a Chinese colleague this weekend (in Asia). My thinking about the wedding has certainly expanded because of this great video. The real value of Mandarin Corner goes beyond Chinese language itself. Like cultural artefacts, Mandarin Corner podcasts have value beyond just the words and sentences. There are so many interesting things to consider at multiple levels.

Completely love this type of video! Not just because of these splendid subtitles but because you can listen to the problems of Chinese from Chinese themselves, not from some people who travel or work in China, it's especially interesting.

This video was very informative. I am blessed to be in a great relationship with a girl from southern China. She grew up around the villager mentality and is very open minded when it comes to things. When we were together in the UK, she always went the extra mile for me and l deeply respect that. I am also a believer in marriage despite the negative stigma. As a Scottish male, l don't mind taking on more responsibility if that leads to marriage. It gives me joy that l have more purpose in my life to work towards and l hope to meet her family at some point. She inspires me to be a better man everyday.

I am a women and I will never understand women who simply want to marry for the money. Love is the only thing you can't buy and it is the greatest feeling in the world. Having a partner that supports you simply by being with you together in every situation in life and you are the same thing for him, what greater thing you can have in life?

That was a surprisingly frank and sophisticated talk, thanks to both of you it was excellent

I like the way the guest talks openly about his opinion. Really imformative and helpful. Ive learned a lot if vocab.

The threat to kill herself from the parent is always a classic one 😂 I think one way of breaking this custom is for the children to be brave and let they decide their own future. No parent will be able to disown their children! Thanks for the great podcast btw, keep it up more in the future!

"他家里还有一只狗啊 - he has a dog! " that was hilarious... I share this guy's priorities lmao

我是越南人 Your video not only helps me practicing mandarin, but also expanding my knowledge about chinese culture. Thank you so much !

Thank you for this video it very helpful and I like this type of video have pin yin , Han zi and eng sub😁😁💯 percent like it.

在我国家这样的问题也发生了。可能是东欧国家的传统对婚姻概念差不多的吧。但你们讨论的那些情况真让我思考而得到了很多文化知识。真是个好的频道。谢谢你们两位🙏👍

I am an American man with a chinese girlfriend. So I am learning all I can from you in both language and culture. I find many aspects you have discussed very interesting. In the USA there is no demand for a dowery or owning a car or house for marriage. Of course each family is different. I agree with you that if the traditions are making both men and women unhappy that a change should be made. It takes a whole society to create such changes. Don’t give up on love, this is my belief. Thank you for such a great lesson and your views expressed.

Please keep doing more videos like this! As a Chinese American, it’s so interesting being able to improve my Chinese while listening to discussion of the problems that my parents’ home country experiences

谢谢，你不是老师你是老师的老师

When ever I listen to u, I remember my time in qingdao

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Great deep convo thanks for sharing!

Great conversation! Deep exchange. Learned a lot new vocabularies. Thanks!

I think this is where I’ll stay to keep my Chinese alive. Left China a year ago and I feel like my Chinese is leaving me gradually

Excellent video as always, such a big variety of topics with great points made on all sides ! I wish 1% on RU-vid was this good, and this is "only" a language learning channel... Outstanding, thank you !

I'm a 32 y/o gay male from the US and lived in Shanghai for a year. I met a great guy who was originally from a village and he told me about all the struggles in this video but he also told me about how hard it was for gay people in China. He even showed me websites where gay people would have a fake marriage just to please their parents while living seperate lives with their partners. Some gay men even married straight women and paid them huge amounts of money a month to keep up appearances. But he told me about some stories where these women would threaten to tell the mans family he was gay if he didn't buy her this or that. I could see the panic in his eyes when he explained all this because I knew he was trying to figure out what to do with his life and keep up the tradition. We actually had strong feelings for each other but I think the pressure of society was too much for him - he came to me one day and said he got an offer to go to Korea for some schooling/job and he struggled with the decision but I think he wanted to be free from the pressure of his family to get married. By having to learn Korean, study, and then find work, he could tell them he was too busy to find a wife. He left a month later. I was always a littler bitter about the pressure on him because we both were a great match for each other and he was a great guy. I would do anything for him and could tell he'd do the same for me and I thought we might have a future but in a way I understood because in reality, this mindset was in America up until about the 1970s until everyone rebelled against it. Thanks for videos like this! Perfect level for me and I love these topic videos. So fascinating!

this is the real a real kind of real conversation between chinese

我爱上了这种视频拍的方法！不仅学习语言而中国的文化，还有呢这就是中国人的自然的交流，非常棒！

Thank you very much for such a deep discussion on the topic. I really like the video clips when you discuss with guests about different contemporary matters in China. I am from Vietnam. One of my relatives was kidnapped about nearly 25 years ago when she was young. She was forced to marry a guy from a rural area in Guangdong province. She was only released to visit home after nearly 20 years later after giving birth to 2 kids to that guy. She was not allowed to bring the kids along as the husband’s family feared that she would not return to China. When she returned, her father had passed away, she almost couldn’t speak Vietnamese fluently after such a long time. It was a pain to the family and forever my phobia. After her missing, I was very scared of going out alone when I was small. Currently, there are still similar cases announced on the TV and Internet though they are less compared to 20 yrs ago. I think the gender discrimination which is the consequence of Confucius teaching is one of the reason for human trafficking in this area.

Great video, Eileen. Do you remember that cute song that came out several years ago in which Chinese women sang lines like, "Ni meiyou che, ni meiyou fang; bye syang ba mei nyu pao shang ch'uang." If you don't have a car, you don't have a house, don't expect to get a beautiful woman into your bed. It was done in a cute way, sung by many different girls.

Thank you for uploading videos always it's really have great impact.💯

I think the big problem with China is that older people don't have a retirement plan and hence are highly dependent on the support of their childs. Probably introducing some type of retirement plan will help to release the pressure on young mens and will eventually help to get ride of all these harmfull traditions.

Leaving one for the algorithm, hope you go big!

Would be nice to see some statistics for the amount of dowry for different areas in China

Wow! There is so much pressure from parents on young Chinese!

There's also the phenomenon of the kidnappings of little girls from big city to villages by villagers who have little boys. The goal is to bring her up and marry her to a boy from their village. They will marry their son to another kidnapped girl of another household in the same or a nearby village. It's scary stuff😢

Excellent video! Thank you Eileen! Hanzi, pinyin subtitles, the topic is of universal concern with chinese facts, traditions and contradictions. It is a pitty it was not filmed though. Any reason? I understand those you listed but still many learners will enjoy the dialogue around a nice typical chinese setting in a park or bar...

Thankful for your great approach to language with cultural aspects. It’s indeed an awesome content and obviously effective to a learner like me who usually got bored with old school techniques.

Your videos are always so interesting! Thank you for the care and thought that you put into them!

This is not just in China. This is in every country, and concerns everyone. It's only been 50 to 60 years that we've started talking about love in a marriage, the reason is because marriage was never about love, and the last 50-60 years have been about female (financial and sexual) liberation. Before that, people always married for financial convenience, it was always a contract, and never a question. A contract in which the woman gets resources (= money) and security in exchange for sexual access and paternity certainty (= knowing that a child is his father's and not some other man's). It was never a question : he gets bedroom fun, he marries for that, and she gets money, she marries for that. The only thing that has changed, nowadays is that now people like to bring in "love", as an excuse for breaking that contract, and love doesn't make marriages last ; however now breaking that contract has become easier and women are incenticized to end them, at least in the West. That's what marriage always has been, that's still what it is despite what society wants everyone to believe. Divorces happen all the time nowadays because either one party doesn't hold up their end of that contract. I'll let everyone look up who initiates divorces more.

What a well rounded view on such an emotionally loaded topic, 我觉得一边学中文一边听很有意思的观点很棒

Exactly this video it’s very good it’s true.. I life in China 🇨🇳 and its like that

I’m Italian I had recently said goodbye to my Chinese boyfriend ( 56) This video help me very much to understand a lot of things about your culture and about this man ... Anyway no regrets ...even if I really loved him

我很喜欢你的视频

Very underrated video. I hope the Chinese government and Chinese society restores value in Chinese women.

Demand and supply i guess

The Chinese instruction is excellent. The content is depressing. I'm a university English teacher in China and my students are pretty obsessed with "love." Seems like in the real world that doesn't matter much here.

Thank you for the great video! Audio podcast series is my favorite I have a small request, if it's possible to bring a person with beijing accent in future to talk with them (I really like that accent and can't find many materials for learning it) Anyway continue with the great work !

Hi, i've been watching your videos and it is really educative. You provide high quality conversations in mandarin about important topics really intrigued me. I'm really grateful to be able to watch your videos, i felt everyday my chinese is slowly improving 😊. Thank you for the amazing content.😆

Hey Eileen good video. I really like the topics you cover. By the way the gentleman who is interacting with you. I think he has got a great personality and I do like his views on life . You make a lovely bunch and it is very much appreciated to realise that you are also raising very important issues through these "educational" videos . Meaning of life, boredom, self centered and interested people and . So your videos are aimed at a very large audience. keep up the good work. You are welcome to france any time when you get a chance. Ian

You're doing a very good work. Good content!

Having live in China for 3 years, I realized one thing, - money matters more than human's personality , it's pity that so.

I like this kind of videoes best and the topics they deal with. Please do more of them in the future 谢谢您

Wow, this video was full with surprises. I learn a lot, thank you!

Thank you for posting these! I'm not currently trying to learn Chinese but I am trying to learn more about the people and cultures of a few different countries and China is one of them. I've found your channel very helpful.

Great video, great topic, fantastic as usual. I had a cultural shock when I first came across the reality of arranged marriages, blind dates, and the whole finding your significant other in the Middle Kingdom

This is an effective way of learning Mandarin. 谢谢

good work, thank Eileen

I LOVE this format, it’s so so useful and I hope you can do more :) I have 2 suggestions, one is that you either release it as an actual podcast or make it easier to download the MP3 so I can listen to it without going to RU-vid. The second is that as a subscriber I have access to the transcripts but I would much rather have all the text in Chinese together rather than each sentence separately with the pinyin and translations. Maybe you could consider putting that in the pdf also in future? I don’t like having the pinyin and translation too easy to refer to as it makes me lazy! 😅

Hi Eileen Very interesting!! Thanks for all the efford you put in.

Thanks so much for your work

Thank you mandarin corner very informative..

这段视频留给我最深刻的印象。做的好！

Just want to share a different perspective from Vietnam. These Vietnamese wives mentioned are more likely to be victims of human trafficking than go there volunteerily. I have read many articles about Vietnamese women who thought they were going to find a job in China but were sold to be a wife. Of course they and their family did not receive any of the money. Imagine being trapped so far from home and not knowing the language to ask for help. I believe it's much worse that "losing" a 100,000 yuan wife. That's why they ran away. I don't think any of the women actively participated in this and ran so they could sell themselves again.

Eileen , downloaded this and watched again and again to make Chinese vocabulary. Thanks a lot for making this video. Love from Lahore Pakistan

I do respect different tradition culture of every countries But for me as a Filipino-Chinese woman,for me if I’ll Be ask about this topic I can say that money or material things is not as well a requirement for me for a man any nationality especially if their culture or tradition have certain rules or requirements in order for them to get married or to find a partner to be Cause I believe marriage is sacred and it’s composed of two individuals who have the same interests intentions and have both love each other genuinely honestly sincerely and unconditionally Where money or material possessions is not the main requirements for their marriage But TRUE LOVE will be the main reason of planning wanting and deciding to settle down and have a family 😊❤❤❤

I really like the guy you were talking to

So as a Chinese myself, there are a lot of traditions in China that costs a lot. For example in some small towns/ villages there are traditions in which the family of the bride will ask for money to marry off their daughters since they are off to a new family. It could range anywhere from 10,000 rmb to 100,000. I personally know a family who planned to give 10,000 but the other side asked for 100,000. The other side couldn't afford it and the girl had to break up because she was forbidden from calling the boy. It's like selling a girl. There are also wedding costs but at the same time there are a lot of women (men as well) try to cheat and lie to the other side for financial gains. (scams) There there are University females who will date older rich men for money. LV bags, designer clothes etc...

"Basically, being able to eat is very important!" Who knew???

Thank you that was really interesting.

This videos are amazing to learn Chinese from the cultural perspective. But girls are important too, don’t be mistaken..

I'M SO HAPPY

谢谢我发现了您的视频。非常非常有用与实践性

I love it. I always watching there videos Keep it up.Godbless

really interesting material , godd for practise !!!

This young man is 🔥🔥🔥🔥 it's sad when money rules everything. People will adapt or find alternatives 🤔💭

You are all really reasonable! I hope you can make more videos with Kirk too

I am a Chinese, I agree with some views but don't agree with some views, Chinese society is reality is now regards money that's true, but the key is the overall social impose these pressures are on the men's side, this is not correct, women like money is very good, but women can earn money for yourself, rather than to go through to get squeezed men 我是中国人，有些观点我同意但有些观点不同意，现在中国社会很现实很看重金钱这是正确的，但是问题关键是整体社会把这些压力都强加在男性的一方，这是不正确的，女性喜欢钱也很好，但女性可以自己去挣钱，而不是去通过要求压榨男性从而获得

老师谢谢。你的教是真厉害。

Who "gets" a wife? This makes it sound like women sit on a mall shelf waiting to be picked up by desperate men.

It's amazing how the conflicts between the generations is similar around the world. Arab society is similar.

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In Nepal too ,it is getting expensive day by day, one million is normal and gold,party, clothes for every family person etc

Waiting the next video. Tks

I disagree although I accept it for what it is. Until the Chinese in China change their traditions it'll continue to go on. No one can afford such an expensive marriage unless you have so many relatives support you financially.

You guys are the best!

Very sad that that most Chinese parents have the mentality that only money can give their children happiness.

Great video!

真的很有意思👍爱情需要对方的感觉真爱付出一起共同的去创造未来的生活

很 有 意思! 谢谢， 老师!

Hi, small correction for you! At 39:55 Bu ke si yi--- translation should not be "amazing" but "unbelievable." You thought it was unbelievable or shocking. Amazing has a positive connotation and doesn't express surprise.

"If you want to be the best you have to take the road less traveled or start a new one." - brian padrick drake

Thank you so much!!

Hi Aileen thanks for this incredible useful content. One question, the word 因为 is pronounced yin1wei4 and yin1wei2 depending on the region? I hear you pronounce it with a second tone instead of a fourth. I was just curious. :)

Watch video without English subtitles: mandarincorner.org/why-is-getting-a-wife-so-expensive-for-chinese-men-no-english/

幸好在中国生的是两个女儿！节目超级棒！我很喜欢！

Kirk, has started his own RU-vid Channel! You might want to check it out and say hi!: PunchPalPan: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-joJYwTcsmuM.html

好可惜的事情。最好我是加拿大人。大家都知道人需要錢可是什麼錢都不一定買到開心的生活

There are people who are married who wish they were still single. And there are single people out there who wish they were married. Humans, they're never satisified.

Now all our videos have transcripts with *TRADITIONAL CHARACTERS!* Available to *Mandarin Corner Supporters* only at: mandarincorner.org/listen-to-audio-with-transcript/

I believe in love too 😘

我觉得大部分年轻人跟这个风俗有摩擦，它会自然地改变，因为他们的小时候跟前辈是不一样的，他们小孩长大以后，他们不会把那种幸福的定义传下来，社会就是这样改变的

watching from Philippines 🇵🇭 😊 coz I want to learn Chinese 😅