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Why it's so hard to leave a narcissistic relationship

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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
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Опубликовано:

21 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 47

@PassionateFlower Год назад

One of the hardest life lessons I'm learning is that I have to just be okay with being disliked or not valued by other people and learning to be self reliant. The less you depend on others, and the more you depend on yourself, the less abuse you will tolerate. It's my needing other people to comfort and protect me in orderfor me to feel like I'm worthy of comfort and protection that keeps me stuck. I realized that after a near death experience last year I was actually able to survive it by myself without the help of any of my abusive family members or abusive ex. None were present during my brush with death. But they were there afterwards. And they mocked and belittled me for my pain and terror at having almost lost my life. That's when I slowly began to realize that this is not a game. This is pure evil. Not only did I learn how to protect and save my own life, I learned that I can only rely on myself for comfort. I'm only opening myself up to more trauma when I try to seek comfort in anyone other than myself. I'm here now only to speak my truth, because every time I voice my experience, I get clearer on who I am and what I truly stand for. And that is of great comfort to me.

@gotmlk5848 Год назад

I’ve been stuck in this relationship for over 10 years.. I’m ready to leave but just don’t know how . It has gotten worst and the days are always hot and cold

@Mockduck2020 2 месяца назад

Make a plan and spend every night imagining yourself doing it.

@jaydaX23 Год назад

Last night, when I was having my hang out with Jesus, after watching another of Ben's videos, I was like "Hey Jesus, thank you for ending that before it got bad." and as much as I am still fighting through this no contact and all this stuff, Jesus was like "You have no idea, what I did beware you of..." - so, it's tough business, but knowing the KING OF KINGS is not okay with him treating me that way... that did somehow comfort me. Like this one time, when I was worshipping and Jesus spoke to me saying "It's not okay for me, how he has been treating you." that's when the results of the guilt tripping broke off me and I knew, his emotional overload was not my fault. Knowing Jesus in a time like this, really helps getting through this so much faster. And Ben's video do the rest of it. I had the "break up" in August 2022 and am 95% through with most of it. The remaining 5 are really stubborn, but Jesus makes it possible.

@bettycarmella1127 Год назад

I got out physically still breaking free emotionally. Though thankfully I left during the “love bombing” phase (he was setting traps all over tho!), I still have a STRONG desire to think I was wrong and that I didn’t see what I SAW. Thanks for these videos

@saintejeannedarc9460 Год назад

You saw what you saw, guaranteed. It takes awhile to shake off the cognitive dissonance. They are so wonderful in the beginning. You think you had the love of your life. They seem to love you like no other, so affectionate, so attentive, blah dide blah. It was all a mirage. They don't even know they are doing it. There is something missing in them. It's hard to face that you could be so wrong, so duped. It's hard to trust yourself again. The more you clear your head, the more you'll realize just how bad it was for so long. You got slowly acclimated to how bad it was. it's like the frog getting boiled slowly, so it has no idea until it's dead. Don't get dead. Get out, stay out. Too late to tell a bit of my story, but this thing of the trauma bond was bugging me for months. Didn't really know what it was, but now that I do, it's like it broke the spell. I was just out having a smoke break and breathing a big sigh of relief. I'm free, finally I'm free. He's trying to hover me now. We own a house together, so I can't have him totally out of my life, though I kicked him out 5 months ago after round 2 of affair w/ the bimbette he found, half our age no less. No way I'm going to be his second choice, his back up plan now that the money ran out, the girl ran out and he's thinking I'll be the better than nothing girl. Until he replaces me again of course. The idiot overplayed his hand. You likely have a darn good idea the sheer hell I've been going through. His hell is just getting started. It's not about revenge, because I have no need or desire. The best revenge is living well and rising above, when they can't.

@michelleandnatalieskiffing7477 5 месяцев назад

You are so strong

@notjustaprettyface 4 месяца назад

Omgggggggggggg I've watched a million videos about narcissism but this one broke it down!!! I feel like you are aware of my relationship personally! Whew!

@pamelakelley5535 Год назад

It was extremely hard because of the trauma bonding. I truly loved this person that I had been with 40 yrs ago. I had no idea what he had become. It was just devastating that he had become a complete monster. I started really paying attention to all the traits and began watching Dr. Ramani on UTube. I was stunned that he had almost every trait. I educated myself and left him after 6 years of HELL! What Ben is saying is💯 thank u.

@michelleandnatalieskiffing7477 5 месяцев назад

Tiring

@dragonclaws9367 Год назад

Don't ever worry about them changing. They won't. He does not learn from his mistakes and keeps doing the same dumb crap over and over.

@cherrybacon3319 Год назад

The Trauma Bonding is what keeps us stuck. When we get to that point where we can't or won't take anymore, and we see the possibility of a better future without the Narc, only then do we have any hope of breaking that bind, but it takes time and effort if we want it bad enough. 🍒

@michelleandnatalieskiffing7477 5 месяцев назад

Yes

@melishawilliams1157 День назад

Best video I have seen on this, and I have watched hundreds

@mairimillar6606 Год назад

Anytime I would express dissatisfaction, however gently in conversation, he would immediately accuse me of being in a mood unless everything was on his terms. He had a really scary deep threatening voice which I found intimidating. It's extremely hard to break away from a narcissist but it is the only way to take your life back. That I found out the extent of the lying and deceit over 11 years was a traumatic relief. I hope his life backfires on him. RawMotivations Ben, your From Fantasy to Reality Workbook is so insightful and helpful. Thanks for everything. Mx

@karlataylor1172 Год назад

Theyre demonic. Period.

@6Karina6Kaos6 2 месяца назад

I just need a restraining order and a good shelter. But due to this migrant crisis I can't find a damn place at the moment.

@babytriin 3 месяца назад

i’ve gone back to my narc ex so many times and i’m currently stuck in it again. i’ve been planning on leaving without warning within the next few days but im terrified. he’s kept me so isolated for 6 years and so in my mind , he’s all i have..

@Mockduck2020 2 месяца назад

This is very well thought out!

@RawMotivations 2 месяца назад

Thank you

@EllenBraucht Год назад

My husband has cheated on me for over 10 years of our 21 year marriage. Our oldest son plays basketball he graduated from high school and decided to not play in college. My husband says he owes us for all we did for him. I don't agree we decided as parents to do for him what we did. He also told a friend that if our son didn't go play in college that he and I would have trouble. I really think he is a narcissist and with the cheating I am starting divorce process. I am so torn with it all. How to let it go?

@auburnglitz9092 Год назад

I think what you’re doing is right, he has been unfaithful and has himself left the marriage a long time ago. If you have already approached him with these concerns and have tried therapy but nothing has changed, I would move forward with the divorce. You deserve freedom from this. I have been there.

@QT_PieE Год назад

My bf abuses me after we get in close relationship. He says he hides his actual nature that time just to gain my trust and after that starts abusing me and my family even threatened me to kill me and my family. And everytime I say I want breakup he says he will die or do such things which make me feel guilty. Now he says he will not marry me because I argue with him.

@deehyatt5173 Год назад

Hope you get away … it truly gets Worse !!!

@irenelvr3149 4 месяца назад

Hell no leave trash like him just make the world worse

@michelleandnatalieskiffing7477 5 месяцев назад

He tries to be nice after he has been mean and after silent treatment asking why haven't I talked to him omg i give in and then he's an ass again He is nice when I have made or making tea then after he's mean to get away I have had enough Everything Is my fault he gives no love addicted to his phone he goes out out if I do I'm going out to look at guys he gave me a panic attack and ge is whistling

@davepaterson831 5 месяцев назад

Leave it's hard at this point right now im out the door all I have to do is slam the door shut I been sleeping in my car a lot and a couple places I can stay once in awhile just do it u will feel so much better but that is not the end they will call and text the shit out of you I haven't seen my wife offer sex so much in my life very sad I reject her and now she's cooking dinner red flag for me I guess I'm pushing the right buttons she made me dinner tonight I didn't show up not worth the negative vibes and the drainng of my energy really difficult to ignore but I know she's acting seen it to many times good luck meditating helps I have a spot I go to by the river river right by the dam thr sounds of the sounds of the water rushing over the dam and the water lapping the shoreline helps me escape along with the sun in my face ❤

@treasureunique8101 Месяц назад

If you’re a narcissist why should I believe what you say

@pbnjay Год назад

My mom 100%.

@brightpage1020 Год назад

A friend stuck in this sees it escalating to physical abuse and knows it's bad especially for their kids but isn't growing up without their dad in the picture so much worse for them? Does she pick the real abuse that is currently happening or the statistic abuse likely to happen to them in the future? At least her husband is fairly predictable and they have one or two things in common their relationship draws strength from. She sees they won't be able to house, feed, or buy health insurance for their kids much longer. Either way. At least now their dad is in the house.

@goldenguk9294 26 дней назад

😭😭😭

@RawMotivations 23 дня назад

Hi there, have you thought about the next steps you should take in your healing journey? I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..

@HemantKumar-fq1fp Год назад

I'm not sure... but I feel the guy I'm dating currently is a narcissist. I'm divorced and I have enough money. He is 9 yrs younger than me and has a hand to mouth existence. Initially he came across as very caring and loving person. He used to talk to me, give time to me. Gradually as our relationship progressed and I started getting involved...he criticizes me, calls me stupid, makes me pay for his food, his bills etc, meets me on his own terms, says he will marry me only if I convert ( he is a muslim) He has introduced me to his family. They seem nice. But, the constant condescending behavior of his is something I am not understanding. He has even hit me and is verbally abusive. He was very understanding and supportive and a feminist in the beginning of our relationship, now he has started sending videos on islam and how a women should listen and bow down to her husband etc etc. Is he a narcissist?

@deehyatt5173 Год назад

Interesting … But if he is or not .. you need to leave, unless you want to be abused the entire relationship .. Please be safe and get away as quickly as possible ❤

@loriewallace8922 Год назад

He is abusive. Is that how you want to live your life? I know it's not easy I've been there. It won't get better it will only get worse.

@uncleboslifelessons2448 Год назад

What if she says that she was wrong and that she’s the reason why our relationship is like it is, she’s even telling my family that she’s the reason for the trouble in our marriage is this manipulation? She has sad she would kill herself, she has even threatened to burn my house down.

@shameem403 Год назад

This is also a type of love bombing. Might be its genuine when a normal person does that. But when a narcissist does it, they want submission from you. Ask them to explain and give real reasons in why to accept them, they can't justify validly.

@uncleboslifelessons2448 Год назад

@@shameem403 I was thinking the same thing, thanks.

@uncleboslifelessons2448 Год назад

@@melw3313 thanks, she’s supposed to start therapy on Feb 6

@RawMotivations Год назад

Sounds like more manipulation.

@uncleboslifelessons2448 Год назад

@@melw3313 I’m still preparing myself mentally to leave, but having mixed emotions.