Why MEN CARE about a WOMAN'S SEXUAL HISTORY: what women don't understand 

Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. From a woman's perspective, a man's emphasis on her sexual history may be somewhat baffling. After all: that was then, and this is now. What does what I did before we met have anything to do with our current relationship? A lot, it turns out. In this episode, I will help women understand why men tend to place so much importance on women's previous sexual behavior with other men. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com

An underrated point is that a man wants to feel desired and special. He wants to feel that a woman has had many men trying to pursue her and she chose to be intimate with him while rejecting everyone else. In return, a man values her and wants to expend resources and wants to protect her. It’s impossible for him to feel this way when he knows that he’s just one of many.

The fact that a psychologist had to make a video to prove this point, should tell you some thing about the society that we live in

I walked away from marriage because I felt like she was indifferent to me. No matter how painful it is and no matter how difficult it is, I agree with the sentiment that I want someone to want me, not to settle

This is the most sober, knowledgeable and polite way to explain why a self-respecting man doesn't want to invest into a relationship with the town bicycle.

"The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior."

Personally it goes deeper than this for me. Her past tells me everything I need to know about her decision making skills. A woman’s words rarely align with her actions, so her past is the only marker I have to go by. More importantly, who she submits her body to and the rarity of her submission is what makes a man feel special. If she submits her body non discriminately then there is absolutely nothing valuable about the gift of her submission.

As a virgin woman myself, I would like to add a few things: 1. You know when you are a good, single man and you keep hearing from women: "All men are the same!" or "There is no good men out there! " It's annoying isn't it?? You feel so invisible. You know these women keep choosing bad guys while ignoring you, a good guy. You know what? Those of us women, who are virgins, loyal and not promiscuous feel exactly the same. You keep complaining over bi*ches, yet ignoring us, who are not. It hurts. We get treated like we are all the same, while we are not. While we might be in a 20 or 10%, we do exist. 2. If you are a single guy, looking for a wife and you are not a virgin, DO NOT DARE to complain while are there so few virgins. It's because of YOU. YOU are the problem. If you, men, want chaste women, you yourself have to stay chaste as well. 3. If you happen to get with a virgin woman, DO NOT DARE to think you get to take her virginity before marrying her. Traditionaly it was in fact your job to protect her dignity and make sure that you two are not having sex prior marriage. Why? If it doesn't work out between you two, then there are less feelings hurt and she still has virginity for her future husband.

I think there are other even better analogies. 1) A woman who finally get proposed by her man after 8 years of relationship, then one day she discovers that in the past her new fiancee proposed to all of his exes after not even half the time. 2) Another woman always wanted to travel the world with her boyfriend and do big romantic stuffs but he always found an excuse not to and she could only get him to do small week end trips once or twice a year. Then one day she learns that he used to take his exes to Paris, Tokyo, Dubai, Venice and have dinner dates with them on the Nile river in Egypt. I can guarantee in both cases the girls will feel devalued, disrespected, unloved and will have he right to be upset...but if we use women's logic, it was in the man's past and he doesn't owe her big gestures and expensive trips to flatter her ego right ?

Relationships are a psychological adventure. They can tear you up.

I am a 22 year old virgin committed to waiting for marriage… men & women will waste other’s time & energy if you let them! Stay smart out there ladies & gents ❤❤❤

I am a guy who wants a family and a stable family. I don't even understand why you would have sex with anyone you are not married with or intend to marry.

That made sense, it was well explained. I think there is another component: men are assessing your sexual loyalty to them. Your past is an indication of your future loyalty. If a women is not sexually loyal any child born to her risks being from another man. Few pains are as intense as discovering you have been raising another man's child.

Another point you didn't mention: Men are hard wired to compete against other men and they don't want to be with other men's rejects. At work or social gatherings they don't like the thought of bumping into random men who slept with his wife/gf.

I saw an interesting "experiment" once with college girls., Guy was asking them if their boyfriend had any reason to be upset about the fact she did stuff with other men that she doesn't do with them., They all said no, it's in the past. Then he asked how she would feel if she learns that her boyfriend used to give out expensive gifts to his ex girlfriend as if it was candy and they all said, i'd be disappointed or upset.

It's all about the "settling" thing. Never, ever, ever be with a woman who "settles" for you because the guy she really wants got away. You will regret it later on.

No one ever talks about the visual-mental aspect of knowing what someone you’re with/attracted to has done. It’s a shitty feeling seeing some of these stories play out in your mind, especially if the girl comes across as innocent and reserved. Hopefully others can relate

Perfectly said 👌 Key point for the women: the more you talk about the other men you've been with, the more your perceived value drops and the less likely you are to get a commitment

Guys only care about a woman's sexual past when a marriage/LTR is being considered. It's common knowledge that promiscuous women will lie about (or omit) their sexual past, so when a guy strongly suspects a woman is being deceitful about her past the chances are he'll have no qualms about using her (for sex) and then discarding her at a suitable moment.

It's not just about how it makes men feel. It's also about the fact that women who had very many partners are also less capable of bonding with any particular man. If a man wants a stable relationship, a woman who has proven in her past that she's quick to move on at the first sign of trouble is not someone he can rely on to stay for long.

What a difference a few decades make. 30 years ago, during the AIDS epidemic, disclosing past sexual partners was a *requirement* for responsible young people, and people were a lot more deliberate about who they had sex with.

Women should do a criminal and child support background check on men before the second date.

I don't know what's worse... knowing or not knowing.

One important thing omitted in the video is the the number of past partners decrease the chance a woman will want to settle for a long term relationship in the first place, unless she's already reached the age she starts getting desperate about it. So it's not quite that you pay twice for half the value, you GAMBLE twice for half the value.

It makes perfect sense to me. I also would be unlikely to ever be with a man with a long bed partner history. And other chaste women I know are the same way. Why would any chaste woman want a man who has never been able to hold down a lengthy committed relationship with just one person? Sounds like a recipe for infidelity. Not to mention the risk of stds. Or the long list of exes/baby mamas he would likely have that could easily cause unneccessary problems for the relationship. A promiscuous man probably won't find a chaste woman who wants him. An inexperienced woman with no plans to abstain? Sure. But a chaste woman, meaning someone who is deliberately abstaining? Yeah, unlikely. If chastity is what you're looking for in a woman, probably a good idea to become chaste yourself. Just saying.

they dont want to "give it up easy" when they aren't attracted to the dude. When the man is "hot," they THROW SEX at him in an attempt to get a relationship. That's chick logic 101. If the woman you are with didn't try to USE SEX to get a relationship out of you, she doesn't find you attractive.

Women also come damaged after so many experiences. Women can only bond through their feeling toward a guy, and turns out she’s had exciting experiences with all sorts of guys, it’s like she’s desensitized, and can’t bond. I think they call this “Alpha widowed” meaning her past had guys she did freaky things with, now you’re getting her, and she dismissive avoidant with her attachment style toward you. She makes you work extra hard for what she gave away for free before. Those memories stay with her, and pull at her subconsciously, and you’re constantly on some sort of scale as to how you measure up, and if you’re the best available option. It goes on in her mind regardless due to her promiscuous past.

Thank you so much for telling it like it is. So many people are afraid to awknowledge these simple facts because for some years they have become too PC and beat around the bush that what you do is so unbelievably refreshing to hear!

This is why I have always preferred the old-fashion way of courtship. Men who have been in multiple long-term relationships that may or may not include cohabitation really turns me off. People really need to save all that stuff for when they're married and not give it away before. When they do, they just keep raising the bar for themselves to prove to the new person that they're serious. This is why people in such relationships find it hard to keep a good relationship. They give too many reasons for the next person to doubt and to feel turned off.

That makes sense. I have this friend who is very attractive and women usually throw themselves at him within the same day they meet him. Then I've seen those same women have the highest standards for some other guy after my friend ends up using them for sex. These other guys need to touch the sky to get the women to be interested yet these women had no standards when it came to my friend.

Women cares about men sexual history just as much.

Very enjoyable to listen to. Brilliant and articulate, without the drama and immaturity of other channels in these spaces. Please keep it up.

It's videos like this that are shining reasons why I subscribe to you. You articulate my thoughts and understanding through my pickup experiences way better than I can think it through on my own (something I am actively working on!). Thank you for making these concepts so verbally clear and understandable.

Although the content of this video sounds very retro, I agree with you. The truth is that it also works the other way around. I can't deal with a man who has had many realtainships and stories. This kind of guy doesn't make you feel special at all.

I never thought of it in this way, but of course, it makes perfect sense. It's never a bad thing for men and women to understand each other better; keep em coming Doc!

i once had a debate with a group of girls about body count, but i lost. they keep saying -"that is insecurity, your problem" -"u can have a high bodycount and it doesn't matter in the present as long as she loves u" -"it's like we are talking to a mormon" -"they shouldn't matter" stuffs like that. but the irony is, when a someone in the girl group was dating a guy, and they found out the guy had around a hundred body count, they act disgusted. yup, it's the world that we live in

Men judge women based on their past to the same degree that women judge men based on their future.

Simple risk management (its got nothing to do with insecurity). Why invest time, effort and resources in a woman when she has a history of monkey branching from one man to the next? Also, why pay full price for a half portion of leftovers when others are given the full buffet for free.

I love that this guy speaks truth and doesn't follow the fake feminism trend and just lie about all this stuff. Next topic to take up is avoiding single mothers man the drama that this will get you in as a man is horrible.🤦

When I asked about their past, "It's in the past and don't want to talk about it", I started to draft away little by little.

The logical conclusions and real world comparisons you use are so clear and concise. God bless you

Is it weird that a value purity in a man. As a Woman I wish I could be with a virgin but that seems like a fantasy. Not only men want purity, some if us women do too,like me

Many men have been told they should not think that way. And they are unhappy without knowing why.

Only two reasons: paternity assurance and womans ability to bond with a male long term. Ladies, preserve your value

Additionally, the number of sexual partners in her past is an issue, because it demonstrates either her poor choices in men and chaotic sexual frivolousness and the likelihood that she is too fickle and unpredictable. This coincides with return of investment, and if your investment in regards to attention, time and resources will be worth it and rewarding.

Well said. I feel bad for those in sexless marriages.

Your use of illustrations is EXCELLENT! It really makes the point! Thank you 🎉

This is a brilliant analysis. It explained precisely the issue I’m having with my present girlfriend. Thank you for sharing it!

This goes both ways. If you're not a risk-taker with your body you may for a myriad of reasons to reject getting close to someone who has standards that deviate too much from your own.

This is excellent. I can show this to people in the future. Excited to see your channel grow.

This was the best description that I have ever heard. Thank you so much for articulating this in such an intelligent manner and taking the words right out of my mouth and the thought right out of my mind and you said it a hundred times better. This was always a challenge to make women understand from a man's perspective and you did it perfectly. Bravo Thank you brother 👏👏👏🙏🙏

The video is excellent and describes a mismatch that occurred for me when I was young in the 1990s. I was in graduate school in the Pac-12 and played basketball on study breaks about five times a week. I had no interest in dating because I had gotten rejected by a woman I truly wanted - a nice Catholic female from my Catholic undergraduate college in the Midwest. She was very beautiful but reserved and modest in her behavior which appealed to me. After the rejection I just withdrew and chose to play basketball to maintain positive social interactions and gain positive health. Over time, I got the attention of a young woman of about 19 years old. She usually dressed with the "bare minimum" and wore an exercise bra and very tight exercise pants. Given the time frame, she somewhat resembled the woman in the video "Mercedes Boy" albeit younger and more athletic but very feminine. One day I was lifting weights and noticed her staring at me wide eyed with dilated pupils. I wasn't interested and just went upstairs to the stationary bikes. While up there, I saw her again below with her boyfriend who outright "felt her up" in broad view of the gym floor. She blushed in response. The guy was clearly her boyfriend who had been intimate with her. But about 30 minutes later I saw her again and she was still fixated on me with the dilated pupils. I think psychologists would know why I emphasized "dilated" - it's an involuntary human reflex of physical attraction. She looked like she wanted to talk but I just walked by without saying anyting. Apparently, the "hot" female gym enthusiast had broken up with the guy who had felt her up just 30 minutes earlier and now wanted to move onto me. Her ex struck me as the "bad boy" type who goes on a college campus and tries to have sex with as many females as possible - compiling a list of "sexual conquests" as the college semesters go by. The guy reminded me of a campus version of a promiscuous "Jimmy Hendrix" but shorter and without the musical talent - lol. The woman was clearly on that list of his conquests but wanted to move onto me. The more I ignored her, the more aggressive she got in her nonverbal behavior until things boiled over late that spring. She was pursuing me while a 3rd new guy from the varsity basketball team was pursuing her - a star varsity player who was on the team that won the D1 championship a year later - a 1990s version of Jimmy Butler. The multiple triangles were bizarre. Now, why was I uninterested? The video here explains it very well. I knew that the guys she had been with are often the types who brag about their sexual conquests. I thought it was lame that I might run into her ex who would boast about the sexual conquest and see her as his "leftover" while I get the "sloppy seconds" in the relationship. Moreover, at the time I was studying biochemistry in the medical school library and was aware of STD risks. A virus spreads via the lysogenic cyles and infects but can remain dormant for indefinite time periods. The STD risks include HIV, genital herpes, etc. It has proven to catch up to "bad boy" types like Charlie Sheen. I thought it was reasonable to assume that at least one of the woman's sexual partners had an STD with her possibly being infected. I was also concerned she might have had an abortion given the promiscuity of men she had been with which didn't appeal to me as a Catholic. By contrast, the Catholic woman I had preferred a year earlier was far more modest but nice and very beautiful - not sexually aggressive. She somewhat resembled Liv Tyler but was shorter and more petite. The Catholic woman married someone else while I just withdrew from dating. The rejection reminded me of the ending scene of the 80s film "Last American Virgin". The drama was absurd that year and reminded me of the classic 80s song 'Love Stinks" by the J. Geils Band. The lyrics allude to guy who falls for a woman who in turn falls for a 2nd guy who then is in love with someone else. Meanwhile, the woman from the gym just kept getting more aggressive until I just left the campus for good later that summer. Years later, I finally did date a woman from the gym at Florida State in Tallahassee - a blonde southern belle. I am a brown Apache Indian from rural AZ. The 2nd irony here was that I got rejected by Catholic women many times during that period but somehow got the interest of a Southern Protestant woman. Dating behavior can be illogical but very real. I was the Catholic guy who couldn't get the Catholic girl on his Catholic campus but managed to go to a university in the southern "Bible Belt" with mostly Protestants and date a southern belle. I was also the Catholic guy who couldn't get the nice Catholic girl but somehow wound up with the extreme hyperfocus of a sexually charged, promiscuous female gym enthusiast in the Pac-12 who many would consider "hot" but actually was incompatible with me.

Wow!!!! I have never heard this issue described as clear, accurate to how I see it and true to the overall experience. It was done with exceptional balance and insight and took into account, both sides. Thank you..

This is brilliant explanation. This is well put together argument, done so with pure reasoning and rationale.

Doctor, I'm deeply grateful for this lesson and many others from you as they've helped me in great lengths. Best regards!

I don't really know how I would ever go about finding out what my partner was or was not willing to do with the men in her past unless she told me herself which has never happened. No ex of a partner of mine has ever volunteered that information (which would kind of creep me out) and I can't imagine a scenario where it wouldn't be weird for me to ask them. "Hey....so....I was wondering, what kinds of things did you do with my girlfriend in bed when she was your girlfriend?" I wouldn't feel inclined to respond to a question like that if it were asked of me. I would furthermore feel an immediate desire to excuse myself from the conversation and a strong aversion to ever interacting with that person again.

I remember Dr. Phil said it concisely: Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.

What about the mention of pair bonding? I've read it significantly decreases after only a few partners

If she gives it away, she cannot bond, and easily divorces and takes your house and money. Your living in a refrigerator box and she is sleeping with her neighbors in your house. It happened to me just that way.

I'm a woman, and what you are saying is what I used to think, then I realize that I am who chooses men, and no viceverse. By saying that, I know it is hard for men to accept it, but is the truth. Once you are in love, you are and that's it. And in a long term relationship it is better to be the chosen one that the only one.

I agree with your points I would add: - Male DNA gets integrated into her DNA from every unprotected sexual partner - More likely to have an STI/STD - Less likely to be able to long-term pair-bond

Same goes for women……we care about a man’s sexual history as well…..

this is wild. young men and women are so lucky you make these videos. you're saving so many people who see your videos from the despair i experienced in youth. i'm in awe.

This makes sense, but you’ve erred in not leaving room for growth and maturity. My first boyfriend ever… I thought I loved SOO much and lost my virginity to after a week of knowing him because he told me he loved me. Six months later, in a committed live-in relationship, he told me “I only said I loved you to get into your pants.” It took me a long time and a few loser boyfriends to get that not everyone is honest and wants the same level of investment as I do. I am more discerning now. And though my body count is low I wish it were zero so I could give the right guy what was naively wasted on the wrong ones. I think judging on body count alone misses the mark and depends on the person and situation.

Discount is a silly idea. 1. When you are with another man, you leave a piece of you with that person. I want you completely, not in part. 2. Anything used (especially when it is the heart/ mind) is dangerous. There WILL be fights. Men want peace, not fights nor you 'testing' tge limits of that person. 3. Constant comparisons will arise between the previous and the current partner in the mind of the female (deny it all you want, but it will arise). It's like competing with a person that's not even there.

Finding a woman with a clean past is like looming for a needle in the haystack. So, we know that whoever we are with will cause headache because they will bring their past in the dark corners of her mind with her. A man must learn to live with this fact.

back when I was dating in my 20's I did not care about a womans sexual history never even crossed my mind still doesn't.

I just wish everyone could understand it logically the way you put it. Great channel btw I subscribed 3d ago and am rapaciously consuming your content

This is spot on the truth. I had such a amazing story to tell you about this, but this is a huge fact. Thank you for putting it out there.

Lol, love how doc breaks this down with a discount-shopping-for-fashion metaphor. Based af. But seriously, I think the average woman intuitively understands that body count matters to the average man. Otherwise why would they get so defensive about body count not mattering and then conveniently “forget about” or “not count” half to two thirds of their sex partners? Blaming their needing to lie on toxic masculinity or the patriarchy is really just a cope.

I need to express that as a straight woman attempting to understand the male perspective better, watching this video and reading these comments made me nauseous. It is true that past behaviors tend to foreshadow future behaviors, but this theory omits the fact that humans are conscious enough to choose to change their behaviors. These analogies are offensive at best and truly de-humanizing. A woman in her complexity as a human being is not comparable to a piece of clothing. A man's feelings are valid yes, but if they are rooted in irrational thought, then it is the thoughts that should be logically put to rest. I can understand the common misconception that a woman's sexual past may give hints to her self-worth, loyalty, or desensitization, but all of these characteristics fluctuate throughout a woman's life, and to be honest, EVERYONE'S lives. Assuming monogamy, if a woman refused you at first, but allowed you to pursue her sexually in the long-run, it's highly likely that her sense of self-worth and loyalty recently elevated which means you didn't get "the same product for a higher price," you got an entirely renewed product at a cheaper price than it was actually worth. This, of course, is assuming you see a woman as a human being with complex thoughts and feelings, and not as just a body to be "purchased" in "an arms race." Also, a high body count, scientifically, does NOT affect pair-bonding. And may I remind all the men, young and seasoned, impressionable and stubborn, that you are seeking a woman's love. Shaming a woman or devaluing her on her past actions, will do nothing but push her and the likeness of her kind away from you and the men of your likeness. If you watch videos like this as a man or even as a woman, I implore you to seek multiple, professional perspectives male and female, and avoid giving into emotionally compelling commentary, so as to truly become educated on loving and romantic relationships. @psychacks I've watched a couple of your videos and you certainly have some beautiful quotable moments, but in this video I feel that you encourage the rejection of women (all capable of change) while being hypocritical in your statements like "I only want to be in a relationship with WOMEN who feel like I'm the best she's ever had." You repeatedly emphasize the glory of a woman having little to no sexual enjoyment in her past exploits while acknowledging that you have been in relations with numerous women, a majority of which, you have probably thoroughly enjoyed sexually. I can further support this fact by your commentary in another video in which you stated that it took you ten years to pick up a woman in ten minutes. You say you want to feel special by a woman's intimacy, but then value women at a whopping ten minutes of your time. As someone with a tool as powerful as a doctorate under his belt, I would truly expect you to emphasize the greater complexities that lie behind a woman's sexual past and a man's ability to overcome self-derived feelings of conventionality not at all rooted in a woman's present words and actions.

Awesome summary Doc. I couldn't have said it better myself. You specialize in human behavior and psychology, and while your summary of why men care about a woman's sexual past is superb, I feel like you're preaching to the choir. Being a psychologist, I'm sure you're aware that the vast majority of women are allergic to facts and accountability when it comes to relationship dynamics. Many of us men have the dubious honor of seeing this pan out in real life, and it's always terrible. In my opinion, women base everything on their feelings at the moment and use their said feelings to justify bad behavior. Like many men, I like using logic and reason when it comes to assessing situations. While I have feelings like all human beings, I'm not governed by my feelings. The dress analogy was spot on, but I use a different analogy. If you're a man who is now exclusive with a woman, how would she feel if she were to complain to her friends and family that you're not very physically affectionate or romantic as in you don't buy flowers or go on dates with her, only to discover that you have done everything she desires for previous women in the past. How do you think she would respond to that? She would feel inadequate and know right then and there that you don't desire her the same way you did women in your past and you're not as attracted to her. Logically speaking, she'd be right. The same thing happens to us men. Guys who are in the red pill community know that women, statistically speaking, make rules for betas and break rules for Alphas. When a woman desires a man she will give her all to make sure that that man is happy, including sexually. The vast majority of times these are just the Chads and Tyrones who will use her for sex and never commit. So obviously if you're the unlucky beta who finds the love of your life, and in some cases even marries her based on your own perception of her or perhaps the lies she may have told you, how do you think you're going to feel when she's just giving you the bare minimum only for you to discover that her past isn't as innocent as you've been misled to believing? It isn't even up for a debate, she does the bare minimum for you because she does not desire you the same way she desired those other men and she's with you as a safety net because she settled for you. When this happens, the relationship is over and it should be over out of respect for yourself. Sex and affection are non-negotiable.

This is a decent explanation. I've always looked at it as our perceived value and the security/insecurity associated with it. Men have to earn sex from women and women have to earn commitment from men. Women don't seem to care as much about body counts because they have the luxury and security of knowing that they are the #1 best option for a guy when they get a ring. Even if a guy has had hundreds of women, if he chooses you above all of them to be his wife then that really says something about you. Men on the other hand don't have this luxury, if we marry a girl that has a body count of 30 men for example - just because she says yes and marries you doesn't mean you were her best option, maybe you were her 31st best option but she just couldn't get commitment from those 30 other guys. The only way I can think to relate this feeling that guys get about body counts and sexual history is to try and imagine a guy that has had 30 previous wives and been divorced 30 times, now he asks you to be his wife... how do you feel about being his 31st wife?

Men don't want a woman with a past sexual history because the images that arise in his mind (when thinking about it) hurt him psychologically. A man does not want another man in his woman. We are biologically hard-wired this way. There is no shame in admitting it; no apologies are necessary. But women are insensitive to this fact because they are not hardwired the same way as men in their image-making.

That made a lot of sense to me and helped to clear up a few things in my own mind. Thanks.

Dude is killing it. Few arguments leave virtually no room for retort or rebuttal

1) absolutely spot on. 2) absolutely spot on. You forgot a third very important one that supports the other two. 3) It's also about certainty of paternity. A male is effectively making a bet on a child being theirs - women's biology allows them to always know with 100% certainty that the child is theirs. Men don't have this privilege biologically speaking. It plays an important role as to why men place so much emphasis on previous sexual partners and men's preference for virgins due to this.

This is great commentary, but I think there is a dimension to this that wasn't really tied in. That is the respect/disrespect angle. Women are always confused about the "double standard" when it comes to sex ie; why are men considered in a positive light for having alot of sex and why are women considered in a negative light for having alot of sex. Simply put here is your answer: The reason men are "studs" is because of how difficult it is to obtain sex vs women. Women are significantly more picky and selective when it comes to sex then are men. Take this example...a man who has slept with 100 women is lauded because of what it says about him. It's already difficult to obtain sex as it is, but it speaks to his traits, habits, character and desireability, ie: he has those things in his character to have had 100 women(who are much more selective) say yes to having sex with him. It other words it's a demonstration of value. In the other case, a woman who has slept with 100 men(who are much less selective) is shamed and berated, as she is the one who determines IF sex happens at all(first right of refusal; gatekeeper, etc) and for her, it's beyond extremely easy for her to obtain sex. She could literally go on any dating app, swipe a dozen times and be horizontal in a matter of hours. We don't heap on acclaim for things that are pathetically easy, especially when the only requirement is that she is breathing and said "yes" 100 times. Zero effort required, anyone can do that, and it doesn't speak to any major character traits except negative ones, the primary one being that she isn't discerning, which for women is indicative of other possible negative outcomes(baby mama, std's, poor mate selection skills, etc) as women bear the lion's share of the physical burden when it comes to reproduction.

I think this may be the best explanation about attraction and value in a FWB situation or relationship regarding sexual dynamics.

I have dated a woman that I later find out had slept with many men. The end result is the guys had slept with her in the past still continue to call her and leave her messages wanting to hook up again. This time they enjoy it even more because they don't have to buy the cow they don't even have to take her out. The second problem is I feel that women that have had numerous partners have a tendency to rewire their brain so that type of excitement they don't seem to get over it and eventually will look for more variety I've seen that happen when she's in a perfectly happy relationship but gets bored because she's going to having sex with multiple guys so all around it's a bad idea today these women that have had multiple partners

Every word is pure gold. One of the most articulate RU-vidrs I have ever seen (and I do see a lot of RU-vid)

Why do men care about how many miles a car has left when buying an used car? Why do collectors care about condition when collecting items... Nobody, wants used up and worn out products.

I saw you for the first time a couple of days ago. Excellent insight!

This video earned you my subscription. Excellent explanation of the subject matter.

Really good explanations of men and women perception of sexual partner worth based on comparative valuation. On a practical level, do not fall into bed without dating comfortably a set period of time always to 'stabilize' your market value.

As always - to the point and enlightening.

One of the strongest videos in this channel. You must watch. This one should be a sticky👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

So true will subscribe thx . Oh the video was to the pt., no babble, good sound quality, gave good relatable examples, and stuck to the topic

Thank god I found this channel! and thank you for the videos!

Thank you Orion. Great points. Some extras to add: -pair bonding ability -paternal reassurance probability -Possible dissatisfaction from being with too many guys ( AKA why a lot of rich people are depressed and on drugs because having everything is quite depressing once you’ve had it all .. ) -assessing future potential -loyalty assessment of future behavior -how easy a woman is shows a lack of moral judgement on the woman in an assessment -what you should be pricing the used merchandise at ( your example ) -guys know they will be compared to every guys high points so it gets harder to satisfy women when they will compare every experience -worthy of spending resources ( time. Energy. Finances.. ) -possibility ( I don’t think it’s 100% confirmed ) of microchimerism AKA male DNA of every male partner you’ve slept with in your brain 🤢 There is many reasons. I mean it can simply come down to we’re hard wired to care. Just like women care about future earning ability. It is what it is. But beyond that the above are good assessments why. Pair bonding prolly being one of the highest ( 10% chance of divorce with a virgin ) the more the woman goes around taste testing all the lollipops around the neighborhood, the more likelihood of perpetual dissatisfaction 😂. Is it any clue why women over 30 have a 30% chance to be on antidepressants… I think not I hope to see some follow ups to this. And from the woman’s side as why the want a “high value man” to level the playing field 😂😂😂

Thank you for sharing this informative video. I agree with everything you said 100%. New subscriber here.

You are damnn simple awesome. As a guy I intuitively knew about this and had vague idea about the why. But you articulated it so well that I even got insight about men psychology

Another more "toxic" argument (bear with me) is men are very territorial with women and it is inherently repulsive to us to know or imagine that our woman has been "claimed" by other men in the past. Men will always prefer little to no sexual experience before you met him and speaking as a married man, the fact that my wife was with other men before me has never not bothered me and has kept me up at night on occasion. It's an ingrained masculine biological reaction to female promiscuity and it isn't something we can just "get over".

Guys don't want anything serious with the town bicycle but they're more than willing to be just as bad as the people they wish to avoid

This isn't new knowledge for me, but the way you explain that was beyond perfect! 💯 I am curious to know your thoughts on why women don't keep quiet about certain past experiences?

another analogy would be 2 vehicles, same make, model, and year. One is brand new, or a one owner, low mileage, well kept while the other has extremely high mileage, many prior owners, unknown maintenance history. Obviously the first one is much more valuable and desirable than the second

I would also just mention the consistency of her characterand the amount of self discipline and inner virtue it takes to say no. But yeah. Very good video.

Women understand perfectly well how men think, it’s just that they don’t care. Also, many times women don’t want anything longterm, they just want sexy times with a sexy man. A woman has needs you know 😅

That explanation it's odd in my case. My EX was my first one, I have no children. But, he dumped me for a woman who has had multiple partners, has children and even she's a grandma... I always asked me why he prefers women with a lot of past experience.

I appreciate your honesty and the honesty of the people who left comments. Everyone needs to see this video.💖✨💫