Why Narcissist Happy, Depressed, Remorseful? Plus Boredom 

WOW.

That's so interesting. I remember being told he learned through all his past traumas that "it really doesn't matter" which baffled me. Still I don't get it. But that reminds me somewhat of what you were told.

i had a similar situation, it’s horrible and relieving also.

You would be my type of a woman then. More time for genuine talk and doing things together.

Any more, having no television is most likely a blessing.

Awesome

@Hoosier Girl my narc 'step'bro died unexpectedly last summer. If not for his oldest son informing me, nobody bothered letting me know, and still even now, no one called me but him. They're people in my own family I came to dislike for their superficiality and betrayals to other family members besides me, for their own selfish pursuits, so insecure within themselves that they lied so obviously to outsiders that the stories don't match the old photos. Deteriorated mental health as years passed is what I saw. Because they live in an alternate reality now they blame me for illuminating their inconsistencies and lies, which caused me to see how they manage themselves (poorly and immaturely). I helped them see their truths, and they're too immature to take responsibility for themselves, so malicious gossip has them flapping their jaws to each other using their best judgment to manage their own unresolved family emotions. They wanted to show me how they can exclude me from family functioning, to showcase their spiteful feelings. Many years of no contact later I am certain about why they're not worthy of having lunch with. In their old ages they are pathetic, selfish, shallow; the younger generation, one is a mini of the elder who passed, the other who has a fighting chance to improve his own outcome as a man in his 30s. My bro left them lots of money, and projected his family insecurities and misogyny onto in his own sons in their 30s as one more generation becomes anxious and insecure, detached and distrusting simply because his daddy told him to.

I understand mortification is the goal and to kill the narcissistic self. But there is nothing on developing a true self. Should I not go hiking anymore? Should I not enjoy mexican food? If every waking instant of my life is a ploy to gain supply, there is nothing for a true self to do that wasn't narcissistic before this mortification process. Am I missing some nuance here? Do you have anything on developing a true self or what that even is? How do you tell what is a true self and what is fabricated for narcissistic self defense? How do you know the difference, how do you decide whether or not eating this bagel is narcissistic? How can you trust yourself to be the arbiter of what is and is not narcissistic? How can you trust other people's opinions of your behavior if you could have just unconsciously covertly manipulated them? People don't like me, people aren't friends with me, people don't love me, I've just been manipulating them from day one. I'm not actually good at anything I've just convinced people I am. And I guess I'm supposed to accept narcissistic traits in neurotypicals because it doesn't cause them distress or something? I'm supposed to view my entire existence as being a supply addict, but the same behaviors in the general population are fine. Every single person I talk to about this stuff and my narcissism tells me I'm insane, and that I'm just too hard on myself. All the therapists just say I'm too hard on myself. Everyone I work with enjoys working with me and we don't have any fights. My friends are always trying to get me to come out of my box again because they actually enjoy having me around, I have no conflicts with them. I have ended dozens of potential relationships prematurely with nothing actually bad happening. I told them that in some way I am abusing them and that they wouldn't know it, and all of them just say I'm being to hard on myself. When someone grills me and says to provide an example of how I ruined their life, I come up with half truths and ridiculous stretches of logic to find a way that it was my fault- whether or not anything bad even happened. If the only person who ever clocked me as a narcissistic was my narcissistic father and everyone else has said I'm just paranoid, depressed or obsessive, I don't know what am I supposed to do with that? Ignore it?

@@sleeep4960 I would at least start working on remapping my development years in terms of where you noticed you were different/manipulative etc and what made you feel good about deceiving people? To hurt them or to cover your shame? Hmmm being a survivor of narc abuse it's hard to get any sense of meaning of life or stability when you are like an avatar. Try saving for therapy too. I do often wonder what will become of all these narcs ppl have run from :/

This is how I feel everyday. I have isolated myself so I don’t ruin people’s lives.

I encourage you to read the Quran.

Watch my most recent video about codependency as a state of mind. The narcissist is an ADDICT and addictive behaviors imitate codependency.

yes

She did not single out any specific personality disorder.

Not my area of expertise.

@@samvaknin How does the the narcissist regret not having love, intimacy etc. When they can't feel those feelings. Also, I thought you said that all narcissist were schizoids?

If the only reason you are acting is to avoid boredom, it is inauthentic action best avoided.

In the playlists and my new channel on Nothingness.

@@samvaknin Thank youuuu!!!!