WHY THE INFJ SEEMS "TOO DEEP" TO OTHERS 

What are your experiences being judged as "too deep" as an INFJ?

*It's the consequence of possessing an old soul...* INFJs aren't "too deep," rather we're just too old in comparison to the rest of the newer souls 😂

This topic has been the most painful experience for me since childhood. I crave real, honest conversation, but most just don't and see the "truth" as being negative. It's a lonely life but upside, I don't want a lot of attention anyway😊

the "too deep" perception of INFJs often stems from their unique combination of intuitive insights, emotional depth, strong values, complex thinking, and reserved demeanor, which can be both intriguing and intimidating to those around them.

As a kid my parents said "everyone isn't like you " I have had to relearn this over and over. Now I just hope for the best and without expectations.

Some of my friends frown on me when i try to get deep. I like to have 1 on 1 conversation because I think it's a good way to build a bond with someone or a way to catch up with them without the chaos ness of being with a group. I do have an INFP friend that I regularly call once a month (I'm from the US and he's from Germany) and we always have a blast sharing our inner thoughts/world. Every end of conversation we always express our appreciation of each other. Meeting him during my exchange program was one of the greatest gift from the universe to me.

literally got called "too deep" by the last woman i was talking to recently. lol that was the last straw that made me pack up & get out of the dating world

"So many people will try to do everything in order to keep that part hidden from others and from themselves". This is why people run away because they cannot take the risk of being seen naked and we INFJ's are good at that.😅

Nothing is too much for me! I love INFJs! /INTJ

2:07 REASON #1 We really dislike superficiality 5:39 REASON #2 We feel alive if we go deep 9:59 REASON #3 We don't have enough outlets 13:07 REASON #4 We go deep with people who have a hard time with that 16:58 REASON #5 People can only meet you at their level

I'm always amazed at people's lack of general knowledge. They live in their own little bubble. 😢

My Mom always told me I was too deep, too much of a thinker.

“But what if, who they truly are is what you have already seen?” ( Ah! This hits me so hard 😂)

It's crazy to think most people are not like this. Coming to this realization makes me kinda bored of people in general, but then again it's like you said if you meet someone that actually has some more depth to them its always great!

I was thinking that, if we need to go deeper with people to feel connected and to feel seen, this maybe is because a part of the trauma as raising without been seen and felt connected nor understanded. (I had narcissistic parents and a sibling that bullied me). So is trying to fill the void of lack of connection and understanding. In this moment of my Life I have learnt to socialize superficialy and enjoy time with people as It is. I know that real connection is possible with few people I hope to meet. I go deeper with myself, doing shadow work and spiritual practices and find peace on It. I think that go Deep too soon is a mistake, is not confortable to the other person and maybe only a trauma response, not healthy behabior. To get to know people deeply requires confidence, a mutual trust that came with some time.

There are worse things than being called too deep. I have come to love and appreciate this in myself.

Not that anybody ever told me but I know they often think Im too intens. Some people find this attractive but are hesitant to open up. Other people think Im odd. Others dont ‘like’ me but cannot say why.

I’m always baffled by this one, but what you’ve said is true. Many people are just shallow, whether it’s a fear of their depths, ignorance, or a refusal to contemplate.

We are deep, and we expect everyone else to be the same.

Thanks to your channel, I am finally able to accept my uniqueness and INFJ-ness! I’ve been fighting it for years, and hiding as you put it, because of the negative reactions from others, especially my immediate family. But I do have a few special close friends that relate beautifully and that is wonderful. Self-acceptance is priceless. Thank you for your good work!!!!

People ask me hows the weather up there? I say cloudy to partly stupid.

It's not just a matter of being too deep, its more to the fact, that the vast majority of people are simply too shallow.

We love( INFPs) your authenticity, but even we need more time to understand you better. Because you have such unique gifts.

“You’re too much!” “Then go find something less.”

LOLz. I only let my cat know I'm that deep . . .

I’ve been thinking about this very thing since last night. It’s strange but many people are intimidated by this.

Wenzes, lately you keep posting the exact thing I need to hear. So grateful As I navigate the world seeking those connections, hearing your posts not only helps in my own insight and growth, but your presence and the community you’ve fostered actually in itself has become a place TO GO DEEP and be truly authentic without fear. A place to strengthen that muscle of authentic extrovertive expression

Wenzes let me say a BIG THANK YOU ❤❤❤ 🙏🙏🙏😍 For your wonderful content! I don't comment on every video but i do watch them all and my... They resonate more and more the more i try to work on myself You empower and strengthen us. It speaks to my soul I love you so much Thank you for helping me get out of the victim mentality ❤

I experience this everyday with ever person here in superficial USA. When I lived in Bavaria for 9 years, I was like the Goldilocks just right. Perspective. It's EVERYTHING.

Im ready to stop trying to connect with others on a deep level so soon (i dont know about you but it happens automatically - just as automatic small talk is with most people). Ms Linda (she gives great commentary-advice here all the time) shared a piece of advice - that has helped me with this - be more of a listener and actively ask questions when we meet new people - from the data we gather thru listening and space we create (one of our dope gifts) - we may be able to conclude that - yep Jane is surface - NEEXT or dang John stood here and talked about his Ferrari 'Narc Nexxxt! Versus me spilling the depths of my soul and Jane and Johnny eventually ghosting me - Much Love to all who is here

A while ago i was on a night out with friends and i met friends of theres who i had never met before. I struck up a conversation with one of them, she told me she was a maths teacher and this immediately peaked my interest. I showed i was really interested in her job and I explained how i was bad at maths at school, relating stories etc etc and i think it all got a bit too much her my intensity lol, but i was just being myself 😬

Oh how does this resonate …thanks for those apt descriptions. Approx 10 yrs ago during a job interview @ a renowned WestCoast University, I plunged into depth-conversation rather inadvertently… and only noticed it by the puzzled look of the Project Director, who kept glancing at my resume, probably wondering how I ever got selected for this interview. Recognising her slight amused puzzle, I said: “I know that I am a strange bird …….. though I am an Excellent strange bird!” With that she burst out laughing . She hired me, and I really enjoyed working on this multi-year project, probably mainly due to her wise hirings of a great, very large team.. She was a fellow Introvert, and perhaps recognised a few of those traits in me as well and wasn’t perturbed by those direct conversations. Those depth-plunges are not like ‘second nature’ to me, they are my first nature , period. Full-stop. Thanks again for keeping those insights and pointers flowing along nicely. MUCHO appreciated.

I really struggle with how adults can live superficially. You mean gossip or getting excited like when I was 15 yrs old getting a materialistic thing like a bicycle? People find being authentic and honest "too deep?" It just blows my mind.

I'm disliked for who I am every day by everyone I meet. Even when I shut my mouth, people come for me. It's disgusting!

Yes, I relate to this so much…It can feel so lonely sometimes. 😢

People are draining 😢

After being misunderstood so much about my own "depth" I worked out to relate to people in what I call my "Friendly Introvert" style. A lot of this is based on by having gotten burned with #4 and #5. It's especially helpful as a substitute teacher, as substitutes meet a lot of different people in different settings almost daily. I have found it effective to warmly greet people, and then let them use their own initiative to come to me. From then on (#5) I try to discern the level that they're coming from. This is an approach that has helped me a great deal and I share it for what it's worth.

thank you for another informative video ..your channel really helped me increase my self awareness and self acceptance and I really thank you for this...greetings from Greece

Remembering to focus on the the positive and I told them that I don't mind deep diving into subjects and talking about it it makes me happy. It made me feel like I probably looked crazy or something I wonder how many times in my life this occurs so f****** tiring

I have had a lifetime of "going to the well but the well is dry" over and over again because I really cared but they not so much. Acting on a behavior repeatedly with negative results is just crazy and very hurtful.. trying to stop doing it.

#1 0:57 Daydreaming #2 2:22 Analyzing others #3 5:43 Analyzing our own thoughts and feelings #4 7:58 Creating emotional experiences for ourselves #5 10:40 Recharging

I recently had to downgrade a friendship because of this. There was a specific event that doesn't quite fall into this category, but this person's actions afterward revealed a deep-seated philosophy of not looking past the surface of anything out of the fear of what will be found beneath and the call-to-action that comes from gaining that knowledge. The part that hurts the most is this person constantly going to an adversary of mine, someone whom he claims to also dislike, to talk and joke around as this other person is shallow making it a more comfortable environment, and I just get pushed aside because my standards make them feel called out even when I'm not expressing them. I thought this was a good friend, but I guess I was wrong once again and now have to hold myself back in conversation.

Making our choice about if we want to try and go deep with someone - and allowing them to make their choice about this as well.. this is akin to the idea of 'the separation of tasks' from the book The Courage To Be Disliked.

My feedback started with wow what a boss to not real to not good enough to too deep to weird to overkill all from the same person who I thought was my true love. The whole time I was confused and kept explaining. The whole thing took 4 years back and forth. Glad I'm out. That was hard 😂but thanks because I learned a lot about myself whether good or bad. We got this guys ❤️

Just be yourself, if they can't handle you move on.

This really helped! Thank you :)

Super helpful right now, thank you 👍

Thank you. This gave me new perspectives.

My problem is, after what I think is small talk, the other person wants to be best friends, and I do not want that at all.... so I try to not do that but it is difficult. I already have to much attached in my life and to little alone time with my thoughts

THANK YOU

Thank you ❤

anyone else experienced the weak girls accusing you of hitting on them & the insecure men calling you gay...? The hard lesson of going to deep to soon.

Man this kind of sucks because I feel conflicted. On one side the more I'm looking into it the more everything is dead on. I go back and forth between I and intlTJ and infj. Both assertive and I can see how thinking and feeling change. Despite what everyone says that it just can't be so I do find myself going back and forth in life. Very intense Dark night of the soul.. so I feel like it's fitting. However it's so popular that it just feels cliche I don't want to be another person claiming to be infj

probably one of the best explanations about our difficulty to socialize, now I´m more certain of the adjustments I have to do

I'm going to tell them you told me to go as deep as I want! 😁😹😮

I stay honest and genuine but throttle the content to match the vibration and whether or not I want to make them to keep distance rather than make me maintain it.

Очень талантливая психолог, без ломания перемалывания человека поняли его суть так глубоко. Нииичоси)))

Yes!

We're born that way, even when we didn't know we were deep.

This is so me...

Yes

Are light is blinding to most .

I would love to express myself much, much more, for example on a RU-vid channel, but I fear from a lot of bad experiences that I will suffer extreme consequences! One time I was almost killed multiple times by my wife and her brother for expressing myself through a video on my channel, and another time I was fired by my manager for a comment on LinkedIn. 🤯😭 How to do this without having to suffer?

You're out here savings lives Wenzes! Getting them out of their schizoid defense😂

Gotta say. You are beautiful!

I have a really important question I'm an infj, every time I take a personality test it either tells me I'm isfj or infp-t. Why is this? It bothers me so much, I'm honest and have done so many tests. I've done months of research, but I'm still unsure if I'm a true INFJ because I keep getting these other two personality types. 😬😅 I will say, I've researched both and while they are close, their just not 100% me. INFJ is, but I can't say that I am one 100% because of these tests and it bothers me. I'm so invested in learning about myself, I feel like I'm 100% INFJ, I just can't explain why.

I hear how did you know that? I now just say lucky geuse. 😊

🙌❤️ 🙏

Can anybody explain more what she means by other outlets? I need this. INFJ

💯✌️😎

This personality type stuff is BS by the way. No statistical reliability or validity. Complete BS.

your video made me feel like being supported by the big sister i didnt have 🥲 thank you very much!!!!

Dialed in!