One of my all time favorites: The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. Friedrich Nietzsche
Good old OScar wilde :) This is my fav Wilde quote, such a cheeky bastard: “Always borrow money from a pessimist, he won’t expect it back” - Oscar Wilde
At this time, being authentic means being alone more. But, in a way, it's more like it was 20 years ago when you had close friends (that you actually saw in person) and a few long distance friends that you spoke to on the phone. It worked pretty well back then. Remove the garbage (social media) from the last 20 years and what do you know, everything works better. It's not perfect, but what we have now is more like a drug than a society.
In my humble opinion, depression IS not living authentically, whether at work, in personal life, etc... so the payoff is not having huge mental issues, like depression and anxiety, at the cost of social judgment by others (which is their problem, not ours...)
I am struggling on this since childhood. I saw that something is really wrong here. But I still have been critcised , called crazy, rejected and abandonned. I will continue. Thank you Richard for your inspiering words.
No Richard, thank YOU for all of YOUR time and YOUR attention! You hit on practical ways to do the hard work to grow mentally and spiritually and explain things clearly and concisely. You're exactly the mentor I needed these last few months.
I love you so so so much Richard but you're so uninformed. God loves you and wants to meet you. Please seek God through prayer because you are such an amazing person. I know he wants to use you. You have the most amazing spirit and heart for others. God knows you. You don't need to experience other crafts, quests or smoke peyote. God sees your heart. I'm a struggling Christian and I sin all the time but I always know God is with me. I don't know why he even cares but he always does. I have this gut feeling that God has work for you. He's always warned me and He was literally always right. Even when I didn't believe it.
100% spot on, from age 3 upwards in the home, school, university, work, friend's I've always expressed my inner self and feelings. I was scapegoated severely and called a "freak" from a young age. I'd operate out of the right-hand side of my brain creatively through the art of writing, satire, comedy and acting. I was suspended 3 time's from school and then expelled and sent to a special school for wild, uncontrollable, impulsive, daredevil kid's. The shit kicked out of me by the teachers, other school kids to in gang's, literally 4 or 5 of em coming at me each time, I was never bullied in school one on one, bullies don't do that. However, I fought back fighting against two or three of em at a time, I took up karate at age 11, and boxing at age 12. My grandfather was an amateur boxer in the British navy during the 2nd world war, so I got it from him. Naughty and disobedient child I was branded with and a troublemaker, no good for anything and prison material. I wasn't I was a physically abused and mentally abused child by a Narcissist-psychopath father who was beating me in the cot leaving me with black eyes at the age of 2, a co-dependent mother who was terrified of him, and abusive teachers and school kids who were all sick, cruel bastard's. ADHD, an anxiety disorder and dyslexia was my problem as the result of that abuse and that was why I was rebelling, my inner child was screaming outwardly at my abusers "why are you abusing me? What have I done wrong to you that you want to hurt me for no reason?" Then my inner child would go into anger and rage "Fuck you, how dare you hurt me." I'd lash out verbally and physically. There was self worth in there in defending myself against the abuse. "I am not a freak cos I express my emotions and like books, poetry, writing, acting etc, i am somebody, I am not a nobody and useless." There was always that strong core inside me from a young age, I never knew what that core was but it was there, like a ball of rock hard iron inside me. Probably how I ended up becoming an Extreme Empath. But it comes with a great price being your authentic self from a child upwards, you will be persecuted and go through great suffering and loneliness. But be proud of yourself cos the scapegoated child is always the strongest child in the family. How? Cos the scapegoated child can take all the abuse and remain standing authentically. The scapegoated child is usually but not always the toughest child in the family and the child with the most gifts and talents. That's one of the many reasons why their scapegoated in the first place. That is my personal experience. Hope it helps and encourages someone. Great vid again. Thanks Richard. Saint Anger.
I never understood people and the herd mentality even as a very young child. I have always walked to the beat of my own drum and have sometimes paid the price of loneliness and ostrcization and in the end it has always been worth it. When I have fallen of the wagon and abandoned my true self it has led to depression and a host of other problems. Not an easy path but a rich and internally rewarding one. Peace to you all!!
So true. My worst decisions when I "betrayed" myself, my purpose were based on thinking too much, supressing my gut feeling, and succumbing to others expectations.
This is why I enjoy life as an adult, turned 26 this year. There is way more freedom in reaching my own opinions and interests as opposed to trying to fit in when you are younger.
After waking up a year ago, I'm giving myself time to adjust to this new norm of having boundaries and actually listening to others. I will not live my life by other people's coordinates; I refuse. Right on Richard !! find and live your true identity authentically.
I just don't understand one thing, with all your great reflections, how you don't have over 1 million subscribers. Thank you for your philosophical approach to RU-vid brother. 🙏
We are who we are, once you feel the need to be different you need to ask yourself why. Follow your heart and love yourself unconditionally and you will see how surrounding will start to match you, until then you are trying to match your surroundings. Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend or your child, only then you are treating yourself fairly. Love and light🌍 Thanks Ricardo💜 Tribes as in ancient tribes always supported individuality since everyone contributed differently to it, now modern times are all about competition,as they are indoctrinating us trough schools into groups and constantly competing against each other. You shouldn’t strive to be better than others you should strive to be best version of yourself.
I started doing this at age 3. I remember very clearly. Observing the mainstream behavior and expectations of the tribe and just choosing not to participate without any fear of prosecution or isolation. I may ve been born immune to social pressure. Not even as a teen could i be made to do anything i didnt want by peer pressure. I was very often alone, sure. But it didn't bother me. Then i immigrated transatlantic on my own as a 16 yr old girl with 0 fear. I consider myself very lucky to be born with the power of knowing how to live for the authentic self. I think it saved me a lot of unnecessary suffering.
I have spent the last two years committed to having a relationship with myself. Committed to strive for excellence. Balance. It’s lonely sometimes, but more so personally rewarding.
The narrow path is the hardest path. I lost all my friends, my family call me crazy. I lost what I needed to lose and gained so much more in the process. You have to respect yourself ultimately.
Refinement ....🙏💝thankyou Richard. Good to see you presenting my utube friend...Ive learned and expanded SO much by listening to your messages..thankyou again, Cheers 🌹🙏💝🕊☮
I lost my identity through motherhood. Over 20 years of living the stereotypical socially acceptable lifestyle, totally disassociated with myself and how I emote the thought process leading to self destruction. I've been told I'm too masculine, I'm working on bringing the more feminine, pure side through but as I like to think of it, the masculine is protective, survival mode after so long makes it more difficult to let those defenses down. Even if I wanted to, sometimes I don't even realise how high they are........ those leaps of faith have become my crossbar, hopefully with enough energy, momentum and force I can make the jump. For now I'm accepting how far removed from the crowd I've become and how much more peaceful my inner world is there. That's a little encouraging to see who/how my future self adapts and hopefully tempers all internal elements. I'm glad I came across this 🙌
So here i am, in Ireland. Biking to do groceries in the morning wearing winter hat, 2 jumpers and winter gloves every day xD Thank you Richard, you saved my life when i had severe suicidal depression caused by B clusters, and now when im done with all that crap, you give me philosophical food for thought and reassurance that some people in the world think like i do, about life and all things happening recently. You are a legend and a hero without a cape :D All the best dude!
@Maciej Rabizo are you in the west? I am lol, while I hear the rest of the world is frying and only 20 miles away to the east of me there's not a cloud between theree and London. Sure sucks to be the shield of the Atlantic so that everyone can enjoy summer!😂😒
@@RabiWielkiePracie I'm Roscommon near the border of mayo and Sligo, Galway a little further down the road. Oh the heady days when I travelled alot I have good memories of Kilkenny and would like to visit again! It's muggy today so maybe just one top on but the days are just so long and GREEEEEYYY!😂😒
@@phoenixkali at least its not raining if we want to look at the bright side hehe :D If you will ever be around KK and you do any gym let me know, we can smash some workout together :D all the best dude! :D
I was always like that Richard. From the day i went to school. It wasn't something my family taught me, they hated me for that. I believe i learnt it from superheros in the movies. So i lived like that, but it made me so alone and scared as a kid. I was so odd to my people. Then around age 12 i refused to follow my heart. It took me 3 years to i feel how much i humiliated myself. I got a really hard depression for 3 years after that. Here i am now, i am 24, i learnt i could never run away from loneliness, both ways are lonely. We just chose our type of loneliness same as the kind of pains we chose for ourselves.❤️
I used to hate the concept of courage because it was presented to me as something "I mainly am for others" Today I know better. This was lovely. Thank you 😊
I'm glad that, even for the times I was brainwashed, my independent, strong will, rebellious streak always poked through. I think it's what got me through, what helped me heal, what made me grow. Still a lot of work to do, but progress is progress.
You know Richard the thing that devastated me the most about my ex narc wife was not so much the abuse but finding out that a person who I deeply admired or thought I admired turned out to be fake. That she was one person in a certain situation and another in a different scenario. I now would prefer a partner that tells me to go to hell when I am being inauthentic and fake than one who praises me for trying to live up to some external standard.
Cutting away from "the tribe" has been the best thing I've ever done. Can be a lonely road initially, especially if its social circles, but from where I am right now, I'm so glad I've made that jump. First time in a long time i feel more of myself and in tune with the things I want in life. Great stuff Richard....as always 👌🎯
It’s so counterintuitive… as a common sense argument- if it doesn’t benefit the tribe, the tribe doesn’t survive, therefore the individual doesn’t survive. But somehow that’s not right either, since this way of living definitely makes people miserable.
The tribe is sick, for sure. I', hoping that enough people will get off that path and start new paths that the tribe will start to see as healthy and they'll slowly come over. Probably wishful thinking :)
Maybe the tribe is being led by the “squeaky wheels”, and the majority of us really don’t internally sync with it so we are miserable. But we need to just do our thing and take those chances. And so many people are too weak to do that. It would be interesting to know what the majority truly feels. I just doubt we’ll ever know.
Thanks again for great inspirational message... it reminded me of the Incredible Hulk when he says ... don’t make me angry.. you wouldn’t like me if I’m angry
These words were really powerful to listen to. to be our authentic selves requires hard work. I am doing shadowwork -integrating it takes it's toll in many ways. But i have no choice - it's either doing the work or dying -or both. I deeply appreciate your work, witch also helps others doing the work through sharing your experiences.
I see the despair in the eyes of people around me, and it does indeed make me feel powerless and very sad. They live a life full of negativity for this reason specifically. But I also must remember that it is not my duty to have them know that.
@@g.m.5590 A question, or related question, to things I've wondered myself. People posting memes about positivity, psych health, doing the work, etc and I know good and well many (probably most) have done little to change their lives. And they still go on, kowtowing, placating, pretending, being un-self aware - going through their days by rote. I realized it's a long process to grow and learn, and heal, but you have to start somewhere.
@M R Makes me feel good to hear this, as I always have strived to..just be me❣️It’s that place of…‘feeling’ that makes the ‘work’ part, a bit more difficult. Something much easier ‘said’ than done. ‘Knowing’ this will make this process easier having something to manifest. Thank you for sharing! 🌞
@@robt8042 I agree. One personal example is a family member who jumps on whatever bandwagon comes their way. I know this person has not done the really hard work of making themselves a better person. Not saying they are a bad person or anything. I just know that the posting of all those "wisdom" memes isn't coming from a place of personal knowledge. It's rather annoying, honestly.
I think that we really underestimate how much we carry that’s not ours, whether that’s other’s opinions, value judgments or ideologies. Good work Richard 👍🏻
For someone who shuns feminism, these are very feministic values. *Modern* feminism is for everyone, not just women. It shuns societal messages/roles and seeks to empower the individual to find and express themselves in accordance with their authentic selves. Thank you for this video. I would love to show it to some of my clients…
That is an aspect of feminism that is positive. Much of the feminism that I've witnessed runs counter to this idea of individuation as it imposes on others, from a group perspective, the necessity to conform to a group identity that does not allow for opposing perspectives. I'm glad you are aware of the positive aspects of the movement, having said that and it seems to suggest that there is hope amidst it all. Bless you and your future contribution to your own life and it's impact that will surely be felt by others along the way.
@@RtooGtoo Thank you for your reply! My understanding is that there is somewhat of a cohesion amongst feminist therapists and feminist individuals as a way to fight against patriarchy and other forms of oppression. Like feminists must be a group in order work together to enact social change, but that change we’re working for is to allow that autonomy of life for every individual and the way they want to live that is congruent with their values and selves. There are definitely radicals out there that put a bad taste in all of our mouths, unfortunately. Thank you for your kind words and I wish you the best. Thank you for the dialogue. 💜
I have always had a tendency to avoid the herd and it's taken me my whole life to develop enough emotional literacy and have the courage to listen to that inner voice. It's been a hard process that has taken me through depression and anxiety, has harmed my relationships with close family members and cost me friendships. The past 18 months have been particularly testing but I feel a great sense of pride in myself for not following my fellow human beings into collective insanity.
My True self is so fucked off living under the dark clouds of the UK.. Fuck me what a miserable place on every level.... Thanks for bringing the sunshine Richie Rich👍🏼
Carmel way finder. I live in Pennine Lancashire and we thankfully have an abundance of fresh water and lush vegetation because of the clouds and rain. An Indian guru type guy once said, “ There is no such thing as bad weather, there is only the weather “.
Full chakra body awareness and thoughtless mind in this present moment. When listening to others and observing the environment, remember that sometimes your truest message comes from a source that you have a preconceived idea to reject. If you do you will remember that for years until you discover the real reason why, the message under the message and that helps you challenge yourself to not shrink back. Example, your friend says a negative comment about something like 'i hate two tone' referring to a shirt. Are you now going to toss a two tone' shirt you had for years? Are you going to never buy or enjoy that at all ever again and shun it or be embarrassed by it even on others? These are the small ways over time this happens when we aren't yet developed full so we are highly suggestable / impressionable. It's not your fault on any side of that coin except when you start to suffer like Richard opened with here. Thank you. This may be one of my favorites of yours.
I really sense your authentic self coming into this video Richard! I've watched hours of your stuff but this is by far the most important. Many times I have a constant anxiety in my stomach and thoughts of people and how their recent encounters felt off to me in some way and I can't pin point why but I realise now from your video to stop thinking about it and hone in on my feelings rather than self justifying my own feelings in my own mind. It's not easy knowing how you feel
yes, yes and yes. you hit the nail, richard my advice: express yourself in arts! paint a picture, make music, dance, write a poem, create something, express yourself!
I needed thots so much! These are the things I've been feeling are logical. Growing up in strict religion I was taught not to trust my feelings. That feels dangerous and unintuitive. I love that you said it's not even self improvement.
Needed to hear this! I’ve been on the individuation path but very confused and hurt by how family and friends responded to me so I ultimately became my own worst enemy. No longer will I hurt myself for love and acceptance. This video validated so many things for me. Thank you 🦋
Lonley...the overiding feeling ive had sice a child,but i enjoy interactiins with people only to end up back to my " natural " state..but it's ok,im strong because of it.
My whole life I have lived by my inner voice. I was the youngest child in a blended family,all my siblings were teenagers. My mother didn't drive so we walked everywhere and I read alot,alot of books. This really allowed me to see things for the reality of what was happening,not the illusion. I am very strong minded and when I would point out obvious things to others,they often reacted very violently. I was never really apart of the collective even though I was popular,but as I am ageing I have felt alot of sadness that I really have no strong connections to others. I am a parent and am loved by my children's friends,but my own children find me difficult because I have very well defined boundaries. I agree Richard living as an individual is hard,lonely,and is not well tolerated but I cannot change my way now I can 9nly push forward. Be well friends.
Everyone is screwed up and has an inner voice or voices. We have to question the heart and intensions of those inner voices and be able to dissect the good from the bad through reflection and critical honesty. Did that person love me, want to control me, or make me live their past? It could be all of the above but Feelings (love) will help us make that judgement so we can find our authentic self. It takes time because we are taking the initiative to question them which feels like betrayal. We can actually just use an emotional strainer or sifter to separate the bad from the good. It's okay to be guided by good as long as you give that good permission to work for your own growth.
This video is very confronting and pertinent to what is happening in our world now. I'm experiencing individuation right now after narcissistic abuse... and it is extremely painful and I feel completely disconnected and unplugged from the matrix. I am seeing everything in a new light and it's feeling traumatic to have the veil lifted. I'm trusting in this process but it's exhausting and I can understand why people go back to the path of least resistance.
Forming a tribe that's very purpose is to all mentor, support and encourage each other's authentic full self expression (inc. feelings), healing, individuation and differentiation, allow for solitude as needed and tactfully call out any who dominate, minimise or aren't for each other without judgment or bias is priceless! Unity consciousness with a lovingly compassionate difference! 🙃
Hallo, beautiful people 💜 It hurt's like hell, and I'm all alone. But I don't stop! I can't stop! I won't stop! Until I'm a 100% ME. And you don't have to stop! See you on the other side. 💜🌺🦸♀️
One of the few points where I diverge from Grannon...What is best for the individual may be, and in certain contexts as borne out by history, defines what is best for the tribe. What is best for the tribe is, in the majority of cases, what is best for the individual. However, when these two are at odds, Grannon is quite correct as to the tribe's reaction to extinguish the individual. When the individuation is extremely maladaptive (serial killer), that reaction is communally kathartic. When the individuation is objectively adaptive, yet abnormal within the tribe, defensive scapegoating is typicaly the unfortunate reaction. Again, Grannon is an important voice for our time.
C0v1d is just like my girlfriend. At first I didn't think it was going to get serious, then she took over everything, now I can't attend foodball events and she also killed my dad.
Always tell yourself the truth...yes! I aim for this even when distortions from the outer world threaten. And yes they do threaten. Because it seems what I am doing in this individuation others find threatening. What you are describing sounds lonely....which is what I feel alot. Too much. Self possession though on my own in nature helps. This was awesome ty!! 🙏🤘❤ validation is still something I need. This is human I think. I appreciate what you say here, its supportive in this process. It's like an aspect of God coming through reminding me I am supported in ways that matter more than what others are thinking saying and doing. I only say that because I've been following your work for a while now and you are a teacher that is trustworthy at DU. Divine university. ...you keep reminding us to think and feel for ourselves. Which is what good teachers are meant to do. So 🙏gracias kind sir.
This is something I've had to learn on my own, It's lonely like you say and you feel like you don't belong. But there's nothing more valuable in this world than being honest with yourself. Love this content man, been following you for years, it's like tuning in to an older brother sharing wisdom.
Thank you Richard for the great advice. If enough people live authenticly & are open to others perspectives even if they disagree, society will change.
Or as I put it " the inner chatterer is not the decider " .. difficult accepting deep misery and ego loss .. yet it must be done to start making your own decisions . Can't build a new self by just rejecting everything conventional . Sit still , relax , observe .
